monomer/program_peace · Datasets at Hugging Face

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an innate behavior that has evolved to serve a communicative purpose in members of the same
species Many such signals are observed in the animal kingdom They are often used to
negotiate conflict For example among wolves the pack leader has a dominant posture head
and ears up chest forward tail stiff and a confident swagger The other members of the pack
especially if unrelated to the leader walk with heads lowered ears back and tails low and
wagging They remain behind the pack leader when traveling If the alpha wolf challenges them
they will back away bend down or even lie on the ground exposing their vulnerable
underbellies It is clear to see that constant submissive signaling imprisons beta wolves in a
suboptimal state of being
Subordinate dogs use much of the same body language They lick or swallow nervously
display submissive grins freeze and tremble Many dogs in the act of submission will dribble
urine or pee on themselves without even lifting their leg Canines are not unique in this All
mammals resort to their own set of subordination displays They do it to avoid the escalation
from contest to attack To avoid outright fighting and bodily harm lowerranking individuals
send a message You dont need to undermine me because am already undermining myself
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body
Due to how social primates are submissive displays may be more important to them than
to any other order of mammal As primates humans constantly send out signals about
inferiority and resignation Indeed much of our nonverbal behavior exists to communicate
deference to other humans When we encounter a dominant member of our species we
restrict our breathing subvert our posture speak in a high voice and tighten our faces
Monkeys and apes routinely do the same It is essential to realize that these displays are
controlled by innate unconscious processes Although you may not think you are inferior we
were all born with neural pathways that cause us to adopt postures signifying inferiority These
pathways are encoded in our DNA and soldered into our nervous system before birth
Samuel Johnson said No two people can be half an hour together but one shall acquire
an evident superiority over the other If this is true the average person acts submissive at
least of the time Even when we meet someone new regardless of their status we stoop
our necks stop flexing our buttocks raise our shoulders and stand shorter to make certain we
do not offend them This is the equivalent of the principal mammalian submissive display of
rolling over to expose the belly
We have all known since preschool that bullies dont want us to appear calmer than they
are If they think we are too relaxed they are often willing to become violent To address this
we learn to use anxiety as a form of social lubrication would go as far as to say that very little
of my anxiety was due to the usual purported cause physical trauma and rumination about it
was not a victim of domestic abuse as a child and have never been molested believe that
most of my anxiety and depression was due to the cumulative effects of submissive signaling
These ritualized selfdestructive displays extend to our breathing We unconsciously
assume that to be respectful and friendly we must make our breathing shallow We are afraid
that if our breaths are deep and long other people will find it offensive Again shallow
breathing is inherited from our mammalian ancestry It shows other individuals that we are
taking the present encounter seriously rather than being too relaxed
The use of submissive tells communicates a history of victimization They can also
communicate that we are tired distressed possibly crippled and are not poised for fighting
Instead they show we are poised for flight This would have kept humans safe during hunting
and gathering times It may also have kept us safe from larger kids on elementary school
playgrounds But it only holds us back in modern adulthood Unless of course you are
in prison
For an inmate to avoid attracting negative attention in jail criminologists recommend using
submissive body language Their advice Never puff up your chest minimize eye contact dont
whistle dont sing dont dance and above all keep your head down pointed toward the
ground Nonsubmissive body language is taken as disrespectful Acting depressed keeps others
from wanting to attack you This was probably a major concern for our ancestors as many
experts today believe the major predator of prehistoric humans was other humans
People who have close encounters with pound silverback gorillas in the wild must do
the same The more subdued they act the less likely they are to be attacked So primatologists
in the field slump over act sheepish move very slowly and look straight at the ground
avoiding any eye contact Even though they are perfect strangers amid adult gorillas and their
young as long as they continue to do these things they are usually completely safe But you
dont live among wild gorillas and you are likely not reading this book from a jail cell so dont
Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training
resort to conciliatory gestures It is not your responsibility to placate anyone with postural
concessions Instead we should make it our responsibility to overcome our genetic inclinations
to do so and influence others to do the same even if only by example
Handicapping Signals Buy Mercy
Animal behaviorists point out that the costs of handicapping signals may enhance their
perceived value Because submissive behaviors hurt us others recognize them as valid Tensing
our muscles and using inefficient postures usually results in an energy deficit meaning that a
subordinate individual is spending energy to buy mercy The crouching and cringing that
nondominant wolves exhibit require extra energy and come with personal costs such as
muscular strain yet communicate that they are loyal servile members of the pack Thus
capitulation responses are authentic signals that we are operating with an impediment
Blushing and crying have been conceptualized in a similar way Indeed a blush can be
unwanted but often the costs to the blusher can be outweighed by the benefits The
involuntary aspect of a blush declares sensitivity to social norms and proves to others that you
feel shame or guilt and value the group Crying is an extreme form of selfhandicapping Some
scientists believe that its evolved purpose is to selfsabotage normal vision It also simulates
respiratory distress Sobbing thus signals acquiescence to a potential assailant It convinces the
aggressor that we are no longer a threat There are many similar displays among animals all of
which are ways of saying Look Im going to all this extra trouble just to prove to you that Im
not an enemy
Chimpanzees have obvious ways to signal that they have been defeated walking in an
apathetic way covering their face hitting themselves and lying prostrate Primates depend on
these submissive displays because they constantly compete with members of their closeknit
group for mating opportunities and food Generally hierarchies among males govern access to
fertile females whereas female hierarchies govern access to food resources as these are a
limiting factor for pregnancy and lactation As modern humans we usually dont fight physically
over sex or meals so why are our inclinations for submission so strong
The answer is that humans dont just selfhandicap to display deference Unfortunately for
us we also do it to be likable In humans signaling a handicap can communicate modesty
conveying that one is not shameless or brazen We demonstrate anxiety to build rapport with
others smooth over issues and prove our friendliness We do our best to act ingratiating
taking on bodily tension to do so It is part of peoplepleasing and the need to be accepted but
it is incredibly draining This book will introduce a philosophy for dealing with these pressures
describing how to be a calm confident likable person without recourse to submissive signaling
We use submissive displays around those we see as our superiors our equals and even our
inferiors Even very dominant people use subordination displays to be endearing and get
people to open up and trust them Therefore it is not always clear whether submissive
signaling is better characterized as weakness or as a form of social intelligence It depends on
the circumstances primarily on the specific display in question and how long it is used Before

an innate behavior that has evolved to serve a communicative purpose in members of the same

species Many such signals are observed in the animal kingdom They are often used to

negotiate conflict For example among wolves the pack leader has a dominant posture head

and ears up chest forward tail stiff and a confident swagger The other members of the pack

especially if unrelated to the leader walk with heads lowered ears back and tails low and

wagging They remain behind the pack leader when traveling If the alpha wolf challenges them

they will back away bend down or even lie on the ground exposing their vulnerable

underbellies It is clear to see that constant submissive signaling imprisons beta wolves in a

suboptimal state of being

Subordinate dogs use much of the same body language They lick or swallow nervously

display submissive grins freeze and tremble Many dogs in the act of submission will dribble

urine or pee on themselves without even lifting their leg Canines are not unique in this All

mammals resort to their own set of subordination displays They do it to avoid the escalation

from contest to attack To avoid outright fighting and bodily harm lowerranking individuals

send a message You dont need to undermine me because am already undermining myself

PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body

Due to how social primates are submissive displays may be more important to them than

to any other order of mammal As primates humans constantly send out signals about

inferiority and resignation Indeed much of our nonverbal behavior exists to communicate

deference to other humans When we encounter a dominant member of our species we

restrict our breathing subvert our posture speak in a high voice and tighten our faces

Monkeys and apes routinely do the same It is essential to realize that these displays are

controlled by innate unconscious processes Although you may not think you are inferior we

were all born with neural pathways that cause us to adopt postures signifying inferiority These

pathways are encoded in our DNA and soldered into our nervous system before birth

Samuel Johnson said No two people can be half an hour together but one shall acquire

an evident superiority over the other If this is true the average person acts submissive at

least of the time Even when we meet someone new regardless of their status we stoop

our necks stop flexing our buttocks raise our shoulders and stand shorter to make certain we

do not offend them This is the equivalent of the principal mammalian submissive display of

rolling over to expose the belly

We have all known since preschool that bullies dont want us to appear calmer than they

are If they think we are too relaxed they are often willing to become violent To address this

we learn to use anxiety as a form of social lubrication would go as far as to say that very little

of my anxiety was due to the usual purported cause physical trauma and rumination about it

was not a victim of domestic abuse as a child and have never been molested believe that

most of my anxiety and depression was due to the cumulative effects of submissive signaling

These ritualized selfdestructive displays extend to our breathing We unconsciously

assume that to be respectful and friendly we must make our breathing shallow We are afraid

that if our breaths are deep and long other people will find it offensive Again shallow

breathing is inherited from our mammalian ancestry It shows other individuals that we are

taking the present encounter seriously rather than being too relaxed

The use of submissive tells communicates a history of victimization They can also

communicate that we are tired distressed possibly crippled and are not poised for fighting

Instead they show we are poised for flight This would have kept humans safe during hunting

and gathering times It may also have kept us safe from larger kids on elementary school

playgrounds But it only holds us back in modern adulthood Unless of course you are

in prison

For an inmate to avoid attracting negative attention in jail criminologists recommend using

submissive body language Their advice Never puff up your chest minimize eye contact dont

whistle dont sing dont dance and above all keep your head down pointed toward the

ground Nonsubmissive body language is taken as disrespectful Acting depressed keeps others

from wanting to attack you This was probably a major concern for our ancestors as many

experts today believe the major predator of prehistoric humans was other humans

People who have close encounters with pound silverback gorillas in the wild must do

the same The more subdued they act the less likely they are to be attacked So primatologists

in the field slump over act sheepish move very slowly and look straight at the ground

avoiding any eye contact Even though they are perfect strangers amid adult gorillas and their

young as long as they continue to do these things they are usually completely safe But you

dont live among wild gorillas and you are likely not reading this book from a jail cell so dont

Chapter Optimal Quality of Life Training

resort to conciliatory gestures It is not your responsibility to placate anyone with postural

concessions Instead we should make it our responsibility to overcome our genetic inclinations

to do so and influence others to do the same even if only by example

Handicapping Signals Buy Mercy

Animal behaviorists point out that the costs of handicapping signals may enhance their

perceived value Because submissive behaviors hurt us others recognize them as valid Tensing

our muscles and using inefficient postures usually results in an energy deficit meaning that a

subordinate individual is spending energy to buy mercy The crouching and cringing that

nondominant wolves exhibit require extra energy and come with personal costs such as

muscular strain yet communicate that they are loyal servile members of the pack Thus

capitulation responses are authentic signals that we are operating with an impediment

Blushing and crying have been conceptualized in a similar way Indeed a blush can be

unwanted but often the costs to the blusher can be outweighed by the benefits The

involuntary aspect of a blush declares sensitivity to social norms and proves to others that you

feel shame or guilt and value the group Crying is an extreme form of selfhandicapping Some

scientists believe that its evolved purpose is to selfsabotage normal vision It also simulates

respiratory distress Sobbing thus signals acquiescence to a potential assailant It convinces the

aggressor that we are no longer a threat There are many similar displays among animals all of

which are ways of saying Look Im going to all this extra trouble just to prove to you that Im

not an enemy

Chimpanzees have obvious ways to signal that they have been defeated walking in an

apathetic way covering their face hitting themselves and lying prostrate Primates depend on

these submissive displays because they constantly compete with members of their closeknit

group for mating opportunities and food Generally hierarchies among males govern access to

fertile females whereas female hierarchies govern access to food resources as these are a

limiting factor for pregnancy and lactation As modern humans we usually dont fight physically

over sex or meals so why are our inclinations for submission so strong

The answer is that humans dont just selfhandicap to display deference Unfortunately for

us we also do it to be likable In humans signaling a handicap can communicate modesty

conveying that one is not shameless or brazen We demonstrate anxiety to build rapport with

others smooth over issues and prove our friendliness We do our best to act ingratiating

taking on bodily tension to do so It is part of peoplepleasing and the need to be accepted but

it is incredibly draining This book will introduce a philosophy for dealing with these pressures

describing how to be a calm confident likable person without recourse to submissive signaling

We use submissive displays around those we see as our superiors our equals and even our

inferiors Even very dominant people use subordination displays to be endearing and get

people to open up and trust them Therefore it is not always clear whether submissive

signaling is better characterized as weakness or as a form of social intelligence It depends on

the circumstances primarily on the specific display in question and how long it is used Before