fw : quips > remember , amateurs built the ark . > > professionals built the titanic . > > > > conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good . > > > > talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand . > > > > stupidity got us into this mess - - why can ' t it get us out ? > > > > love is grand ; divorce is a hundred grand . > > > > even if you are on the right track , you ' ll get run over if you just sit > there . > > > > politicians and diapers have one thing in common . > > they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason . > > > > an optimist thinks that this is the best possible world . > > a pessimist fears that this is true . > > > > there is always death and taxes ; > > however death doesn ' t get worse every year . > > > > people will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that > > benjamin franklin said it first . > > > > it ' s easier to fight for one ' s principles than to live up to them . > > > > i don ' t mind going nowhere as long as it ' s an interesting path . > > > > anything free is worth what you pay for it . > > > > indecision is the key to flexibility . > > > > it hurts to be on the cutting edge . > > > > if it ain ' t broke , fix it till it is . > > > > i don ' t get even , i get odder . > > > > in just two days , tomorrow will be yesterday . > > > > i always wanted to be a procrastinator , never got around to it . > > > > dijon vu - - the same mustard as before . > > > > i am a nutritional overachiever . > > > > my inferiority complex is not as good as yours . > > > > i am having an out of money experience . > > > > i plan on living forever . so far , so good . > > > > i am in shape . round is a shape . > > > > not afraid of heights - - afraid of widths . > > > > practice safe eating - - always use condiments . > > > > a day without sunshine is like night . > > > > i have kleptomania , but when it gets bad , i take something for it . > > > > if marriage were outlawed , only outlaws would have in - laws . > > > > i am not a perfectionist . my parents were though . > > > > life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges , but > > eventually you find a hair stylist you like . > > > > you ' re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair > that > > you once got from a roller coaster . > > > > one of life ' s mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman > gain > > five pounds . > > > > it ' s frustrating when you know all the answers , but nobody bothers to ask > > you > > the questions . > > > > the real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the > right > > time , but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment . > > > > time may be a great healer , but it ' s also a lousy beautician . > > > > brain cells come and brain cells go , but fat cells live forever . > > > > age doesn ' t always bring wisdom , sometimes age comes alone . > > > > life not only begins at forty , it begins to show . > > > > you don ' t stop laughing because you grow old , you grow old because you > > stopped laughing . > > - attl . htm