Updated! Honorary Housewife of the Week: Lindsay Lohan

Girlfriend is a mess. She isn’t even a hot mess anymore because there’s nothing amusing or original about her actions, but she has earned herself a spot as Honorary Housewife of the Week! Here’s why:

1. She’s all over the place literally (until her house arrest, duh) and figuratively. No matter how many chances she’s been given, LiLo just can’t get her sh*t together. At this rate, Lindz is poised to have more mugshots than Marlo Hampton.

2. Despite numerous arrests and probation violations, Lindsay has managed to avoid any serious jail time. The troubled starlet has been in and out of the slammer several times, but the longest time she was actually in jail was for 14 days in 2010 for violating her probation. Like Lindsay, Peter Thomas — Cynthia Bailey’s husband — just avoided his own jail sentence.

3. Lindz is an ace at shameless self-promotion. Like any good h’wife, Lindsay knows the importance of staying relevant. All the time. Whether it’s her line of leggings, her own glowing self-tanning spray, or her Kim Zolciak-esque music career, LiLo is always in the spotlight.

Sidenote: Lindsay even shot a commercial for Beezid.com while under house arrest. We have no idea what Beezid does, but Lindsay approves so we do too!

Congrats on being named our Honorary Housewife of the Week, girl!

Update: Lindsay's house arrest ended on Wednesday, June 29. Just because you aren't confined to your Venice, Calif., townhouse anymore, doesn't mean we think you don't deserve our title!