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65 Comments

No Man's Child

Anoriath: This is a hauntingly beautiful and lyrically sad piece, although I hope there may be some moments of joy before the end. Your characterization is vivid and deft. Your AU is, of course, an all-too-likely one--what would happen if Aragorn's death looked imminent, and he had no heir? My heart bleeds for all the major characters here. Thank you! I will follow your story avidly.

No Man's Child

<i>What a well-wrought scene! The heroine's courage and decency come through in her actions, as does Aragorn's sorrow and conflict. Such a sad story</i>

Thanks for your kind words, Gandalf's Apprentice!

Tolkien seems to idealize romantic love, and while I enjoy that, I also wonder at the other side of life that lurked unexplored in his writing. With the political structure of ME that he built, there had to have been arranged marriages, and I can't imagine that the sacrifice that made them necessary was always easy.

One really tiny quibble. I know natural dyers. They give me madder to grow for them and assure me they will come for the roots in oh, five or ten or, yeah, probably better to wait fifteen years. No dyer would expect to get a good dye of out one summer's growth.

assure me they will come for the roots in oh, five or ten or, yeah, probably better to wait fifteen years.

Wow... didn't know that. Good! Good! I've dabbled in fiber arts just enough to know the jargon and have a tactile-kinesthetic sense of it, but I lack that kind of depth of experience that you're talking about. Thanks for the heads-up. And, certainly, if you see anything else like that that jars, please let me know!

No Man's Child

I find this story most delightful. I have often pondered how things might have turned out had Aragorn made the choice he made in this story, though I never could have made my imaginings such a living picture as you have done here.

The first person narrative suits the story and style perfectly, and the old-style language is like icing on the cake. Not many can make it just the right blend, but you appear to be one of those blessed with genuine skill.

No Man's Child

Brava! I don't manage to comment on every chapter, but I want to let you know that I am avidly reading along and enjoying this immensely. This is one of the best, if not the best, depiction of life for the regular Rangers of the North I have ever read. Your Aragorn is not quite how I envision him, but I can definitely see him as someone who is capable of being a king when the need arises. And your love interest is so very much a complete and real person that she comes alive.

No Man's Child

... I want to let you know that I am avidly reading along and enjoying this immensely. This is one of the best, if not the best, depiction of life for the regular Rangers of the North I have ever read.

Hee! Thanks Gwynnyd!

Your Aragorn is not quite how I envision him, but I can definitely see him as someone who is capable of being a king when the need arises.

Yes, that is rather the danger of fleshing out a character who is so well-loved, but is almost more of a symbol and a myth in the original story. I'm moving him more out of myth and trying to ground him in reality. (eek! You mean he's actually carrying a FUNCTIONAL sword and no longer qualifies as a warrior-monk?? )

I must confess, the more I flesh Aragorn out - put him in situations in which we did not get the chance to see him in LOTR - the more my own view of him changes. I'm glad you're not finding the differences in our visions of him too disconcerting.

And your love interest is so very much a complete and real person that she comes alive.

Good! Thanks! It's been very reassuring to hear things like that. I was terribly worried that I wouldn't be able to create an OFC who could stand up to interacting Aragorn's character and still capture the imagination and empathy of the reader.

No Man's Child

I enjoyed this a lot, even though it is unfinished and likely abandoned by now. (Not that I would mind miraculous updates years later...)

But as the WIP stands I still enjoyed the OFC, and seeing a version of how everyday life might have been against the backdrop of the increasingly dire situation before the ring war. The AU premise was also quite credible, that Aragorn might have bowed to the pressure to continue his line, even though he still loves Arwen.

No Man's Child

What a well-wrought scene! The heroine's courage and decency come through in her actions, as does Aragorn's sorrow and conflict. Such a sad story...I'm wondering how you plan to resolve this heartbreaking situation.

No Man's Child

Your rendering of life in the Angle is carefully wrought and clearly very well researched. Yet again you have described a scene that is on the surface about every day matters--such as would be the concern of a woman like this Dunedain wife--but the emotion underneath is intense. It seems to me that the wife is faling in love with her lord, but she is well aware that the feeling is not returned. Is she going to find out why? And how are you going to resolve this problem? Who will be Queen of Gondor and Arnor?

No Man's Child

Another carefully wrought portrait of life in the Angle, full of meticulous research and amply described through the conversation between the two women. Of course, my attention is riveted on the solution of the wife's central problem--her lord's reluctance.

I think there is a typo toward the end where she refers to "wanders" instead of "wanderers."

No Man's Child

I think there is a typo toward the end where she refers to "wanders" instead of "wanderers."

*blink* Funny how the words blur together when you look at them for so long. Ah, found them! There were 2 instances. Thanks for the heads-up, GA.

Another carefully wrought portrait of life in the Angle, full of meticulous research and amply described through the conversation between the two women.

Yeah, it's a pretty tricky line between including enough detail to bring a place and scene to life and overwhelming the reader with an intellectualized account. I try to stay away from too much detail (ala the accounts of hydrodynamics in A Perfect Storm or the differences between a mizenmast and, well, about every other piece of hardware on a fighting vessel in Master and Commander).

But, in this chapter, I wanted to create in the reader an experience of just how overwhelming the task of managing a village that is bursting at the seams would be - and how important it is that Nienelen make allies among the folk of the Angle. No way to accomplish anything on her own.

Of course, my attention is riveted on the solution of the wife's central problem--her lord's reluctance.

LOL! Good! Hopefully the denial of immediate gratification makes you want to turn the page to the next chapter rather than just annoying the heck out of you. ;o)

No Man's Child

Very moving. My heart aches for both of them. Your Aragorn is one of the finest I've read. I have to say, though, that I saw an extension of this scene at another site. You have left out the good part. Why?

Oh, lots of little reasons, none of which amount to much individually but together convinced me to post the excerpt separately.

Partly, my homebase is an archive that maintains a PG-13 cap. Not that we don't write or share harder scenes, we just don't put them in the archive because of having teen members. And then, I also wanted to write a story that a wider range of people could read. I know a few teens whose parents only allow them to read G to PG-13 rated material and have a few adult friends who stick to that level, too.

And, finally, and probably the real reason, it's the only scene like it in the whole story. From a plot POV, it would release the building tension far far too early in the proceedings. I'm relying pretty heavily on just that tension to propel the reader forward in the story.

So, although I joked about rationalizing the reason for writing this chapter more explicitly, in truth, it really was the reason why I wrote it. I felt like I needed to know more about their first encounter to fully grasp the unspoken dynamics of their relationship. Most times I have a pretty good idea what I want from a scene, but I never really know how a scene is going to develop until I sit down and start pecking at the keyboard. Often, I get a bug and the scene takes off somewhere unexpected. Sometimes I know it's just right, and sometimes I know it's just plain wrong. But, I never really know what it's going to be until I get there.

No Man's Child

This story is breaking my heart! It is so thoughtfully written--the quiet restraint is overwhelming. Being the curious, greedy, undisciplined sort that I am, I had to find the "missing" appendix to this chapter that G.A. referred to in an earlier comment. It is as lovely as the rest. But you are right--it is not absolutely necessary to convey what you wish in this chapter. Your portrayal of Aragorn, the Angle and the Rangers (especially Halbarad) is convincing.

No Man's Child

Being the curious, greedy, undisciplined sort that I am, I had to find the "missing" appendix to this chapter

LOL!

Good! I'm glad it's coming across as restrained. My writing sins tend toward melodrama and purple prose. I've been working on balancing my desire for deep feeling and a kind of magical quality to the beauty that can be found around us with a sparer prose... at some times more successfully than others.

No Man's Child

Good move, Aragorn! He said earlier in the story he didn't wish her to act like just another servant, and now he is acting on that, at least as far as the politics of the Angle are concerned. The heart, however, is another matter.....

No Man's Child

LOL! *face-palm* You have no idea how many times I read that passage... and still didn't pick up on that. Funny how our brains work. I hear that professional proof-readers read the material backwards. With good reason, I suppose, but it sounds like rather a tortured experience.

No Man's Child

Gently slips the rhetorical knife in, and then there comes the fatal twist at the end. I wouldn't be Nienelen for the world.

Dwim

No, not a comfortable position at all, but one full of compromises that pit the heart against the head. That tension has so much potential in it to explore human relationships and character development.

I'm so tickled you're reading, particularly as it was this passage:

"I have been asked if there was no one at all that I would get a child on, in or out of marriage."

and

"Gilraen never remarried, nor shall she ever: she loved my father so. And though for long I knew nothing more of Arathorn than that, have you any idea of what that means to a lad? I would be to the mother of my children what my father was to my mother, and I cannot see myself as able to do that if it is a union, or even a marriage, only in order to get heirs."

that bit me about the ankles and made me write No Man's Child. I don't suppose it sounds familiar, does it? :D

No Man's Child

For the first half I was thinking that all the details dragged, but you ended the chapter with such punch that I eschew all criticism.

Well, he doesn't love her, but he treats her very well. Still, so sad, for both of them. And Arwen too. At least one heart is to be broken here. I really can't see you working out a "happy" ending in that way, although there must be a resolution of sorts.

No Man's Child

Hmmm... I'll have to take a look at it, then. Thanks for the feedback! Sometimes I become too enamored with the idea of something (like the politics of a hallmoot) and indulge myself just a little too much.

I've got enough focus on individuals to give it life and energy, I think. But, to balance it out, I'm sure some of the details could be wittled down to tighten the chapter up a bit. Just because meetings of that nature probably had their share of tedium doesn't necessarily mean I need to induce it in the reader. ;D

you ended the chapter with such punch

Thanks, GA!

I wasn't so sure how that idea would be received. I'm introducing something from the real world that Tolkien didn't mention as being a part of Me culture. But, neither did he state it wasn't and I wanted to create some uncertainty. Adding that idea helps increase the range of possible endings and I'm hoping to keep the reader guessing as long as I can.

No Man's Child

This is as close to "domestic bliss" as you've allowed your story to get, so far.

A question: shouldn't Edainion have one of those Ar(a) names? If not, we need a reason why.

And Roheryn--Tolkien says he was called so because he was a gift from Arwen. The nature of Aragorn's relationship with the daughter of Elrond is still an unanswered question for this reader--so are you AU on Roheryn, or is he named that for Nienelen (AKA "lady") or is Aragorn running around with Arwen behind his wife's back? Inquiring minds want to know.

How close to the War of the Ring are we now? I'm interested in how old the kid will be at that time....and whether Arwen is in Rivendell at this point in the story.

You need to adjust the quotemarks on the bedtime story she tells Edainion. Lose the endquote at the end of each paragraph, until the very end.

No Man's Child

A question: shouldn't Edainion have one of those Ar(a) names? If not, we need a reason why.

There is a reason why, but, like many of the questions raised by the story, you'll have to wait for the answer. You'll notice about 3.5 arcs in this story. We've just completed one arc, and this and the last couple chapters are busy setting up the tension of unanswered issues and questions for the next arc.

You need to adjust the quotemarks on the bedtime story she tells Edainion. Lose the endquote at the end of each paragraph, until the very end.

That just seems so, well, odd, to me, but you're exactly right. What a bizarre little bit of grammar funkiness.

And Roheryn--Tolkien says he was called so because he was a gift from Arwen.

*sigh* Yeah, unfortunately I forgot about this until another astute reader brought it to my attention. I've been struggling with what to do about. Actually, I think I'm going to post more about it on my story forum, cuz, if you're willing, I could use some feedback/help on it.

No Man's Child

As always, very impressive. Your ability to create realistic domestic scenes and visualize what Aragorn's life might have been like without the Evenstar as his love is awesome. If I have a complaint, it's that you spend almost too much time sketching out the everyday. A little tension and crisis thrown in a different points would help IMO...and I'm not necessarily talking about their house being attacked by the wraiths either, say Nienelen gives Aragorn a scare by becoming extremely sick and he is forced to examine his feelings for her.

No Man's Child

As always, very impressive. Your ability to create realistic domestic scenes and visualize what Aragorn's life might have been like without the Evenstar as his love is awesome.

Thanks IVIaedhros. (btw: That's certainly a creative way to get around the name already being taken.)

If I have a complaint, it's that you spend almost too much time sketching out the everyday. A little tension and crisis thrown in a different points would help IMO...and I'm not necessarily talking about their house being attacked by the wraiths either, say Nienelen gives Aragorn a scare by becoming extremely sick and he is forced to examine his feelings for her.

Ah, yes, it's always a challenge to keep up the tension but not let it bleed power from your climax. Thanks for your feedback. I'll definitely keep it in mind.

No Man's Child

No Man's Child

Thanks, Iel_o_Thorongil. It's a bit of a challenge to create a woman who is heroic in her own way, but whose heroism doesn't put her beyond the reach of the credible. I suppose we'll see if I've been successful at achieving a good balance once we reach the end.

No Man's Child

Your story just gets better and better. Neinelen's acceptance of her "unloved" status (at least in the way she wants to be loved--I do believe he cares deeply about her, but that is not at all the same thing) is SO sad. And what is going to happen to Edainion? You've made him so endearing.

Eventually, I suppose, we will find out something about what's been going on in Rivendell all this time.

No Man's Child

You have done a great job of melding the bigger tension with the personal here.

Good! :) I'm glad you 're finding it so.

Can't wait for more....

I'm afraid my posting is going to be a bit more erratic since we've moved through the "inspiration" phase of writing, onto the "perspiration," and now we've gotten to the "heavy sweating" phase of writing.

No Man's Child

A quiet chapter that hints of several new developments. Sigh. I suppose I can't hope for starlting revelations and thrilling action, or at least a visit from Aragorn, in every one, can I?

Ah, well, this seems to be the same I reason I struggled so much with this chapter and thus why it took so long. It's akin to the sophomoritis of middle movie/book in a trilogy. Lots of story arc building... not a whole lot of climatic action.

No Man's Child

Ooof! Exciting chapter! So much is happening. I am extremely curious as to what she hopes to accomplish by riding out to the fires. Those must be orcs firing the granaries/farms, and it would be the best part of discretion to stay behind. Arrgh. cliffhangers!

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