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archer_subtitles

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well if you'd let me.
yeah, tell me.
how my father might be nikolai jakov... head of the kgb or len trexler, head of odin!
well... i assume those are my only choices?
oh, my... who else?
gene krupa.
no, wait.
what? the drummer?
not krupa, the other one, with the teeth.
buddy rich.
oh, my...
i could never say no to a drummer.
could you say no to anybody?
i said no to plenty.
no. no.
yes. have sex with me.
please.
no.
oh, come on.
nobody would ever know.
pam? yeah.
i'd know.
no.
let me talk to him.
no.
no.
nikolai, he's not even here.
he stormed out, thanks to you.
but i could talk sense into him.
after all, i am his father.
oh. so... len trexler or buddy rich?
get me that crazy german. now.
ow!
ow! hostile work environment.
shut up.
we are going to kidnap agent sterling archer.
oh, yeah? then what, you hurt his feelings?
then we put new mind-control microchip into his brain.
we use its remote-control capability... to bring him here, make the papa test.
and if i am archer's father...
i turn him against his own mother, as soviet agent.
make him a, how you say, vole.
i think you mean mole. mole.
huh? vole is also rodent, but more closer related to lemming.
come on, buddy.
can't you read, ass-douche? you're not supposed to be here without a kid.
as it happens, i am here with a child.
mani, can we have more money for the sweets?
what? that's not even a real baby.
and that is?
i thought you were off to the fair with your prize turnip.
a tur...? listen, you kraut puke.
hello.
oh, yeah. you should go.
you're lucky his father's not here.
he knows krav maga, he'll kick your balls through your hat...
you nazi shit ass.
mani, these people.
well, you wanted him to grow up in the city.
nein, major, not you.
yeah, listening.
and after you take archer to the... kgb safehouse on gansevoort... you will implant the microchip... into his brain.
got it.
yeah, seriously.
okay, uta, we have a job, so... where is the diaper bag?
i forgot where i put it.
huge surprise.
ow!
ow! idiot.
what is wrong with you?
and just who the happy hell... do you think you are, hanging up on me?
oh, you gonna tell your boyfriend, len trexler?
or maybe gene krupa? it was the other one. maybe. or you, maybe, or... whoever it was, he wasn't there to raise sterling, so i don't need him butting in now.
we'll see. nothing.
what?
nikolai, what are you scheming at?
nothing.
again he hangs up on me.
and there goes the last steuben. sploosh.
that's what i'm talking about.
yup, yup, yup.
wait, you think it's safe?
no.
okay, we got the french chick, and carol... and anybody else, rambone?
no.
hi, cyril.
well. um... scatterbrain jane? really?
well, say she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer.
oh, right.
i forgot, your dick's full of radiation... and mastectomy coupons.
boy, you are just so determined not to be cool about this.
yup. anybody else?
um... ms. archer, you're trying to seduce me.
aren't you?
nope, no, no one.
okay,
okay, okay.
okay, get out.
of my own office? yup. why?
oh, you don't wanna be here... when i bang every last dude in the building.