Jimbo, you actually believe that God condemns "some souls to either hell or incredibly tortuous stints in purgatory"? And you conclude, on this basis, that it is not inconsistent to love these souls "while imposing (on them) physical pain, even death"? Why would you hold such extraordinarily diverse beliefs? Don't you know that souls damn themselves? They are not damned by God. Damnation is a mystery far deeper than salvation. Why would a soul choose Hell over Heaven? But choose it does, leaving an eternal ache, beyond words, in God's heart. 

As for "purgatory",  it comes from the Latin word meaning "washhouse" (or "laundry"). Essentially, it's the process of "becoming holy", and it doesn't begin after death, but in the here-and-now...if we allow it. 

Souls in Purgatory (whether here, or by extension, in the hereafter) fully consent to their purification (their transformation) that they might be with the One they have learned to "burn" to be with, that is, love with all their might.