LW1: Honestly, it's OK if "responsible daughter" is as far as this ever goes.  No, you don't need to let your rough childhood taint your adult life, but you also don't have to pretend it was something that it wasn't.  You really need to let yourself off the hook here.  Love is an action--if you're making sure your mother is safe, clean, and cared-for, you're doing your job.  You don't need to guilt yourself on top of it.