I beg to disagree.  We simply change so much more slowly than we expect, hope of ourselves, more aberrations, pain suffered, pain inflicted than our culture religious and otherwise teach. 
But I do agree in that that our "preaching" of "grace" and "prayer" and even "church" have almost totally missed the point. They have deceived and we are self-dilusioned in the interest of institutional self-interest. Grace and prayer, as with church are important, but what they really are require a new discovery.