Control against what? Marital love between people these days (ANY days) needs to be liberated, not controlled. Control implies a need to rein in---we need more wives and husbands who see in each other a desire, a call, and an obligation to let go. 

Your kids need to know their mom and dad seek expression, not repression, of God's gift to your family. You seem to imply its either hedonism or chastity. Most successful love affairs between spouses reject both  "options"  as illusory and even unhealthy.

That being said, if it works for you, your husband, and your family it is not the right of anyone not in your family to tell you otherwise or to tell you to play by their rules...just as, I'm sure, you don't tell others to play by yours. 

Peace and thanks.