I and my buddies in college spent a lot of time finding young ladies to seduce, and some of us were successful more than others, but none of us would describe our flings as love, although we all probably broke some hearts.  And we were the nice guys on campus; the frat boys were in a whole different league.  

Dig deep, John, and realize that love is not what makes you hard, lust is.  It's ok, it does not mean that you do not love your wife.  My lust for my wife doesn't affect my love for her, nor is my love for her contingent upon or expressed by having sex with her.  I will give you this: sex is better when you do ti with someone you love.