Why can I not advise my (currently pre-teen) daughter that she has to careful and responsible about the image she sends and the situations she puts herself in while AT THE SAME TIME also advocating that rapists and sexual assaulters get what's coming to them? This should not be an either/or and yet I feel like modern feminists are forcing me to pick a side.

If I warned my son to take precautions against being mugged when he's on a bad street, would this be considered victim blaming? Should I instead advise him to hang out in the bad areas alone while stone drunk and flashing lots of cash because it's really the mugger's job to resist easy prey?

It's not victim blaming to tell people to look out for themselves. It's called being smart and safe. The suggestion that the only way to fight sexual violence is to advise young women to engage in high-risk behaviour is foolish and irresponsible.