No surprise you missed the oxymoron in "guilty bystander," even after spotting yourself the last five letters by glancing at the mirror. An anecdote about the evils of fireworks from more than 30 years ago? You say grandpa was a fine physical specimen until a stray bottle rocket that you say the kids had been lighting off all day suddenly startles him into heart failure, you say? Please. Nice suburban legend. You and your "true facts" need a nap.