You misunderstand even more.  Perhaps be less focused on dropping variations on the word Anselm.

Offering it up is not egoism..it could become so, but everything can get distorted without good formation and spiritual coaching...the purpose, again, is DEEPER unity...a desire to unite ourselves in every aspect of faculties with Jesus...mind, will, body. 

Jesus told us to offer things...pick up your Cross daily He told us.  

He told us to mortify ourselves....by recommending fasting, by telling us to deny ourselves, to pick up the Cross, 

"to do this in memory of me".