I think the insight from CS Lewis explains much of your point.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

The Church has beautiful teaching, but it's demanding of us.  It requires totality of self, total gift, kenosis, just as Our Lord told us.  

A spouse needs to look at his or her marriage as a pathway to heaven where the very material events of marriage lead to a 'perfecting' of not just the spouse, but the other spouse as well, and the marriage & the family.

These ideas seem hard and many blow them off because of the implied sacrifice.

But sacrifice is love, and a love like this brings joy, once the idea is fully understood & happily accepted with trust in God.