Thanks for some chuckles in my early smokey B.C. morning (wow: haven't seen more than a faint outline of the mountains around Chilliwack in a week now.  Weird.) Anyway...

Speaking of weird: "Just one nuke going off within 100 miles of any population centre will send stock markets into a turmoil."  Hilarious.  Baby, if that "one nuke" wast detonated, the LAST question on anybody's minds--well, most right-thinking people, any way--would be, "Gee, wonder what the effect of this is on the markets?"  

And I imagined this bizarre discussion: 
Kim's Presidential Advisor: Esteemed leader, we have a problem...
Kim: Problem? We have NO problem in this country.
Advisor: We respectfully request to know where your "handle" is.
Kim: My what?
Advisor: If translation is correct, a G&M poster thinks someone, quote, "should get a handle on this guy"--meaning, you, Eternal One. So, we humbly ask: do you have this "handle" and if so, how might we destroy it, so avoid it becoming attached to your person.