"Actually most software developers I know are 40+."
Either you have a very skewed sample of friends or are making that up. Computing is well known to be fiercely age discriminatory. Your unwillingness to acknowledge that is part of the problem.
http://observer.com/2016/04/when-it-comes-to-age-bias-tech-companies-dont-even-bother-to-lie/
http://www.businessinsider.com/google-loses-ruling-in-age-bias-lawsuit-2016-10
http://www.businessinsider.com/software-developers-fear-age-30-2014-3