I know you are being facetious, but moose cows can be very dangerous.
Have you ever encountered a moose with a calf? I have a few times.
One time we were in a canoe hugging the shore of a lake. When we turned a corner a cow with a calf were drinking. The cow, all 800 pounds charged straight at us. Me and my brother both made Three Stooges type noises and paddled for deeper water as fast as we could. The cow kept swimming after us until we were about 200 yards away from shore. 
(We were not hunting, it was not the season)

I lost 5 pounds, all brown.