Thanks for your personal insights. A tough situation all the way around. Cops so often come into emotionally charged and chaotic situations in which they have sketchy information. No matter how well trained, or even experienced in dealing with certain situations, things are happening so fast that the right decision is not always readily apparent or made. Yet, people need help, that's why they call the police. And when you do, you expect (hope) that it is going to help resolve the issue. 
Tough situation all the way around. Best of luck with your own situation and loved one. Hope things get better.