"Hirsch, who voted for Hillary Clinton and said she has at least seven professions, including psychic, Uber driver and hypno-transformative masseuse."

Wow, that's quite the pedigree.  I'm curious to know what the ending would be like.

If California seceded the rest of America would be doomed to the Trumpublican dark ages for eternity.  I kind of don't think Californians would want to live next door to a country like that.  But if Alaska seceded, we'd live next door to Canada, a great neighbor to have.  We'd be better served to just join Canada.