I had the good fortune to know a deacon, one of the first to seek ordination in our archdiocese, and who served with both holiness and humility for many years.  His wife, a convert and a poet, shared her talents as well, and the parish returned their love and devotion.  When Ray's wife died, he sought and received a dispensation to marry Joan from Pope John Paul II.  He continued his deacon ministry for many more years, and Joan shared her gifts as well - she was a founding member of our grieving ministry and inaugurated funeral luncheons as a regular part of our parish outreach.  Ray is gone now, and may he rest in peace!  The Church would do so much better if it learned how to say "yes" rather than "no."