[...torture their neighbors with bombs...in the name of public safety.]

Bombs! Public safety! Who could possibly disagree with such a convincing diatribe!

The County Commissioners perhaps won't be satisfied until practically everyone shooting off readily available fireworks is some sort of "criminal". 

Oh, maybe we've already reached that point of absurdity, and that's why the sheriff simply doesn't waste deputies' time in chasing down all of us "criminals".

[A $1,000 first-time fine....]

Both the Commissioners and the Sheriff would rue the day they inched towards such Blynd attacks upon the celebration of freedom.