I cannot know "this kind of quiet loneliness". Be peaceful that (and I am sure) your biological mommy loved you beyond the love for herself to give you a better life than she could give you. I think she must think of you (always) on each of your birthdays and holidays and she, too, holds a "special kind of loneliness and love in her heart" for you. GOD BLESS BOTH SETS OF PARENTS FOR THERE BLESSED LOVE FOR YOU.