You probably know how incendiary the adoption community can be at times. You are right, and I basically think anyone should be called what they want to be called. That includes birthmother or biomom. I've always referred to my kid's family as her parents, family, or mom and dad. 

One thing I will say is that nobody deserves ANY award or accolades because they adopted. The tilt is totally in the a-parent's favour. As time goes on, it sinks in how I stole someone's joy. And yet I am this child's mother and cannot deny how happy I am because of it.