Ebes64 , why not ask for an appointment with your pastor ?  He can  explain 
these things .
Why not walk to this special room where the tabernacle is ?  
Jesus never spoke of himself as the bread in the tabernacle . Rather as the bread to be eaten .  
If you research the developments of devotion these are triggered by other events and even errors  .  
Add a few decades to your life by quitting hanging out with this communally paranoid group .  
Something or Someone is bringing you here to NCREPORTER  !