Hmm, well, I'm not English, so I'll give it a go:

Jack was a stupid English lad who traded his mother's cow for some beans rather than legitimately sell it for money.  When the beans grew into a stalk, he climbed it and found it led to a castle in the sky inhabited by a giant.  He raided the castle three times to steal valuable goods, and when the giant finally saw him and chased after him, he killed the giant.  And then, rather than being persecuted for theft and murder, he lived happily ever after, because being  English, it's okay to travel to new places, steal things from the people there, and kill them if they object.