I mean whatever "rules" caused/allowed/required a vicar general of a diocese, with the support of his bishop, to give priest/shepherds the idea that they should treat people in the midst of grief as if they were nothing.  No, not nothing - people to be belittled, people who's pain is to be not just ignored but told it either doesn't matter or it is wrong.  More, encourage priests to give ear to whiny, narrow minded "faithful" who would be "scandalized" by a priest comforting a family and loved ones of someone who just died.   The scandal is how those in the midst of grief are treated as if they don't matter and the ones who matter are those not even involved.  What the priest needs to do is tell those who may be scandalized that they need to heed their own souls, their own judgmentalism and let him tend to the pain that others are suffering, and, in fact, should join the priest in giving comfort to those who grieve.