Thank you for sharing your courageuos story.  My daughter witnessed her boyfriend's suicide.  Alcohol was the reason in this case too.  It changed our lives forever.  I can't imagine the pain you feel knowing how painful our loss has been and continues to be.  I want to start a scholarship too and increase awareness about how to deal with suicidal thoughts or attempts in a healthy manner.  I fear though that we have been blamed for my daughter's boyfriend's suicide, we may continue to be victimized.  My daughter has changed forever and will never be the same as she now deals with anxiety attacks.  Thank you for sharing your story.  It helped me to see too not to blame others or myself for this terrible totally preventable suicide that occurred because of drinking over the mind and body's limit to cause illogical thinking such as suicide.  My heart goes out to you.