It's taken a lot of effort not to reply to some of the more hurtful comments on here - if I'm going to be thin-skinned, then I shouldn't publish on an incendiary topic in a national newspaper.  Everyone is entitled to their opinions - that's the beauty of living in a liberal democracy.  For you, sturbain1, I'll make an exception to my self-restraint. 

If you see someone on the street wearing a t-shirt that says "house-breaking slattern" - that's me.  I'm not sure if you meant to hurt me, to circumvent the G&M rules on inappropriate language, or simply to make yourself feel superior.  Regardless of your motivations, I love that phrase and I intend to own every inch of it.  Feel free to stop and say hi, if you see me. #nastyslattern