These are my baby cousins.  They are my family, my life, my happiness and my world.   There wasn't very many days where I wasn't with Chole or weekends where I didn't see Brayden, but there was countless days that I took their lives for granted.  I took everyone I loved for granted.  I had somewhat of a delusional mindset that everyone I loved will be okay forever and only die when they get old.   
The trauma that my family will go through over this is immeasurable.  The amount of pain, suffering, heartache, shock and anger will only grow for awhile.  Each day I will wake up and I will only get angrier and I will only cry harder.  It doesn't get easier as time goes on, thats bullshit.  It gets harder, it gets worse.  You begin to realize that this isnt a joke, and they're really not coming back and it kills every piece of happiness in your soul.  I dread the "firsts without" that were going to have and I dread the rest of the days I have to wake up with out our precious Brayden