I propose an Offendedness Scale, something like the Richter Scale used to describe earthquakes. But while the Richter Scale is logarithmic, the Offendedness Scale should be inversely logarithmic.

For example, on the Richter Scale a small increase on the scale indicates a vastly more powerful earthquake. An earthquake registering 7 on the Richter Scale is ten times more powerful than one that registers 6. On the Offendedness Scale however even tiny offences register as huge numbers, in keeping with the degree of chagrin we're expected to feel.

The Offendedness Scale

0 - The Cosmic Void
10 - The existence of life
100 - The existence of sentient life
10,000 - The spoken word
100,000,000 - A knock-knock joke
10^16 - A blond joke
10^256 - Irony
...and so on.

Preliminary readings from offensometers puts Dr. Marrus' comment in the 10^256 range- a number which surely attests to the enormity of his wrongdoing.