Alexandra1, I feel your disappointment and frustration. You must understand that the workings of the Church are outside of most Americans' experience.  We are a democracy and with democracy, numbers and opposition count; not so with the Church.  One of the exaggerated but traditional marks of the Church is that it is unchanging and unchangeable.  In our experience change is good, but for the Church it is seen as a dangerous threat to power. For the Church, it's dogmas and disciplines are seen as absolute faithfulness to be held unto no matter what. Even with scientific evidence and modern understanding of human psychology and normative human behavior, the Church still clings to some pretty outmoded ways of thinking resulting in unreasonable moral and ethical demands on its members.  This is your lifetime, your span of earthly life. If you wait for the church to catch up, your life will become another casualty of "failure to thrive". Don't let the Church crowd out God!  Love God & live.