Gabby: "So Assad baby, what you been up to lately?"
Assad: "Same old, same old. You know, we been out killing and torturing, even gassed some folks, what you been up too?"
Gabby: "Oh nice to hear honey. I'll try my best to have the US stop fighting you and supplying your enemies."
Assad: "Oh right on sister. I'm up to killing about 500,000 of my own people, women, children, the whole nine yards. With your support, I can probably kill at least a half million more. Kill everybody till Syria is like North Korea."
Gabby: "Oh that's great honey. Can I be the first to call you Dear Leader? Oh, and you might want to wash your hands, or people might realize you have the blood of a half million Syrians on them. TTYL!"