Trid, John doesn't need my defense. But in answer to your response, no, that's not what he said at all. You keep equating thinking about the edicts of the church and not fully agreeing as a self-deification. That is not my intent, and I dare say it isn't John's. It is an honesty before God, to call it as I really see it and not pretend something else. It would be egotistical only if I demand that my way was the only way to see it (you know, like the perfection of the hierarchy). It is a faithful humility to share my vision, warts and all, that I know God sees through and sees fully. I've stopped pretending before my Lord -- well, at least as much as I can.