This is not the time nor the place to discuss our spiritual beliefs.    You want certainty to reinforce your belief system, I don't.    I'm quite happy with mystery and think it's arrogant for any person to believe they could fully understand the mind of a god who knows no space or time.     

The church (thousands of them uniquely formed and diversified) is a very human institution.   Thinking otherwise will leave a person judgemental with a false sense of righteousness.   But that's only my opinion.   

 I hope your faith brings you growth toward agape love.  If that's the result, then I'd say your on a very good path!