I understand the value of your admonishment, at least intellectually, although beyond acknowledging that those whose loved ones are violently wrested from them will never again be whole, I myself would be cautious about speaking for those having suffered such loss (which has in fact happened to members of my extended family more than once), and will therefore only speak for myself.

Suffice it to say I know in my head that I should, as my beloved Sheikh 'Ali ibn Abu Talib ibn Abdun Noor frequently reminds me, take the path of 'Professor X' when it comes to dealing with my enemies.  But I admit my heart is that of 'Magneto' with respect to my enemies, despite knowing he's wrong (or would be, if he were real).

MaSalaam.