Hi Gerard. I understand. In slight contrast to Kevin, I'd just like to add that I didn't really start recovering until I did get out, as painful as that was. Will I ever come back? I don't know, but I do know that I absolutely had to leave what I saw as the Plato's cave I'd been in, a cave of trauma, escapism and deception, in order to finally grow up psychologically and even spiritually. The view of the Church from the outside, is enlightening, sad and infuriating (as you have obviously discovered) and sometimes hilarious in a black comedy sort of way, when you see all the carryings on of it members. Yet, I still believe in the role of the Church and religion. I still psychologically believe in the high standards of social and sexual morality that transcend the mere evolutionary animal we are. I suppose my overall interpretive glasses are more psycho-social than spiritual/religious though. Hang in there Gerard. I understand your frustration but I do believe we need these studies also.