Sounds like you've been doing a little gun fantasy pleasuring of yourself.   Unless Maureen used to be Maurice, I doubt you know much about either adrenaline or testosterone.   If you want some of that adrenaline and testosterone stuff, get yourself a .300Mag Weatherby,  ,373 h&h, or even a .460 Weatherby and get some of that real thrill stuff - and numb fingers and a bruised shoulder and maybe  a cut and bruised eyesocket.   A .223 kicks a little more than the cap pistols I had when I was ten.   There's no thrill there; it is just a tool.