LW2 - MIL's can be the worst nightmare for the spouse.  I know mine was, then she passed away.  What I learned after she passed away might have helped me understand that my relationship with my spouse is not a competition with her relationship with her mother.  The suggestion that he should take her mom on a vaca while giving you a pass is the best answer.  You'll learn a few things, like, does he really want to spend time with his mom alone?  Or do you do more work for her benefit than you know while your spouse sits back?  I was working my butt off to please my MIL and my wife just sat back and enjoyed the ride.  This, I didn't realize, till much later in life.  So it's very possible that when you offer to let go, give up some control, he might wake up a bit.  Possible.