boozer, thanks for being so open and laying down a foundation for your comments.  you are a survivor.  implies a tough road. I do hope you're not saying you still live in  "DARK" place.  self medicating has been a problem since the day a mid altering substance was discovered. it is what it is....people treating themselves for "pain".  I don't know if the buckley house is still in existence but I remember it being like a revolving door.  first out were  those dropped off at buckley against their will.. next,  it was sincere folks, really looking to  pull themselves up, but finding that providing their own "pain reliever" was too hard to overcome.  my life was no picnic as I was farmed out to various relatives and friends..making no connections with anyone.   that is serious and painful, never got into the self medicating mode, by the grace of  god.  had I, being an addictive personality, no idea how or where I would have survived, but it would have been ugly.