I left my door wide open and someone stole my Christmas present.  The prints in the snow suggest it was a racoon, but the top cops say it could have been a rabbit.
I'm trying to explain to the top cops that racoons are smarter. They of course can open green bins that were designed by top cops as full proof. The top cops don't like me saying this and have suggested I should have locked my door. 
They don't seem to get the fact that is was supposed to be MY Christmas present and I want to skin this racoon alive. I have since left a note in the racoons den saying this. The top cops are really upset now because the racoon colony has made this note public in the media and are being quite belligerent about the accusation. 
If anyone has seen a present wrapped in blue paper with small donkeys and crowns on it let me know where you found it but come to me first as I'm having problems with the daily briefing from the top cops and I'm honestly not quite sure if I trust them anymore.