Surely the most important issue of our day, but TL;DR.

However, why is Julia Comnes the only author at Willamette Week with a photo rather than an illustration accompanying her byline?  

I suspect one of two reasons.  Either: 1) It's a blatant attempt to get clickthroughs with pictures of your one attractive writer (other than Nigel Jaquiss), or 2) It's not even her photo and Martin Cizmar just grabbed the last facebook profile photo from a lady in Europe who requested they be friends and he "check out this great site".

Either way, it's a new low.  Where are the glamour shots of Nigel?