Moved-IN: You claim you just recently moved in. Perhaps this matter of mom coming over is something that both the boyfriend and the mom worked out before you were in the picture?  Seems like, as the newbie in this family, you should be a LOT MORE accommodating and accepting. Why should the MOTHER be the one to change, particularly if boyfriend is unwilling to change his mom's behavior? Maybe what she is doing is a subtle hint that she is not so sure you're going to be in the picture for long.