Archive for July 2009

Met Office gets it wrong again

The Met Office has, for the umpteenth year in a row, revised its summer weather warning down.

Earlier in the year we were told that there would be a blistering heat wave throughout the summer – a BBQ summer as the Met Office put it.  But even the Met Office couldn’t ignore the fact that, but for a couple of weeks, it’s been a cold and damp summer.

The Met Office can’t predict the weather a few months in advance – they can’t even predict the weather 10 days in advance – but they expect us to believe their bullshit climate change propaganda.  The Met Office’s short term weather forecasts aren’t that reliable, their medium term forecasts are decidedly iffy and their long term climate forecasts are pure fiction, constantly and consistently discredited and disproved.

Still, they weren’t entirely inaccurate in their prediction of a BBQ summer – every time we have a BBQ it rains!

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No British flag on ID card shock – who cares?

The British government has unveiled the design of its ID card and shock horror, it doesn’t have a British flag on it.  Instead, it will have four symbols to represent the four nations (the British government’s words) of the UK.
There was a suggestion that it would have the European Empire’s ring of stars on it but no, it’s not going ot have any flag on.  Apparently, it was thought that the butchers apron might upset the Irish.  Diddums.  The British Home Secretary, Alan Johnson, says that Northern Irish people will be able to have an ID card that says they’re Irish instead of British.  That’ll please the Scots and Welsh.  Will English people be able to get an ID card that says they’re English?
Personally I don’t care what they put on the ID card (although the recognition of England as a nation by this English-hating British government is welcome) because I won’t be having one.  I won’t be having one when they’re voluntary and if the dishonest Tories stay true to form and don’t abolish ID cards when they get into power, I won’t be having one when they’re compulsary.

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For fuck’s sake

David Camoron said “twat” on the radio when he was talking about Twitter.

Whoop de fucking do.

OFCOM said it was on their list of offensive words.  If you’re offended by the word “twat” then you are, quite frankly, a twat.  How could anyone be offended by an Old English word for a forest clearing?

Camoron has apologised which just shows how much of a spineless twat he really is.

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CEP: Mandelson considers increase in English tuition fees

Peter Mandelson, the unelected Minister for English Business and Enterprise, who also has responsibility for English Higher Education, is considering allowing an increase in English university tuition fees.

Tuition fees were introduced in England after Scottish Labour MPs were whipped to vote in favour because a majority of English MPs were opposed to them.  Without Labour’s MPs from Scottish constituencies, English MPs would have defeated the bill and university students in England wouldn’t be leaving education with tens of thousands of pounds of debt.  Labour’s MSPs subsequently voted against the introduction of tuition fees in the Scottish Parliament.

We’re constantly told by the British government that we don’t need an English Parliament because we have more MPs elected in England than the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish MPs put together.  The original introduction of tuition fees in England, with Scottish MPs overturning a majority vote of English MPs, destroys that argument.  That an unelected peer who has twice resigned from the British government in desgrace can have responsibility for a review into increasing the illegitimate fees makes a mockery of any claim the British establishment might have that democracy exists in England whatsoever.

With national debt running at 150% of GDP, tax income down by 8.2% and the social security burden up 9.7%, perhaps adopting the American revolutionary policy of “No Taxation without Representation” would force the Scottish Raj to listen to the voice of the English majority?

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The Wrekin

I walked up the Wrekin today with Mrs Sane, three of the kids and Charlie (the dog).

For those of you not familiar with the Wrekin, it’s a 978ft hill on the outskirts of Telford in Shropshire.  It’s not the most challenging walk for most people but as you may know, both my knees are pretty much buggered.

Since the age of about 7 (co-incidentally, the age I was when I last walked up the Wrekin my mother tells me) I’ve had osteochronditis in both my knees.  It’s quite rare – only 15-30 people in every 100,000 will get it – and I’ve had every type of surgical intervention there is for it.  I’ve had osteochronditis in my knees since I was a teenager as a result of it all.

We all made it to the top and I’ve got the pictures to prove it!

View from the top of the Wrekin

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Telford quango on its last legs

Transforming Telford, the unelected and expensive “regeneration” quango set up by Telford & Wrekin Council and a couple of unelected regional quangos, has had its “contract” withdrawn.

The previous Liebour administration at Telford & Wrekin Council was responsible for setting up the quango that costs Telford council taxpayers a million pounds a year.  In return for a million pounds of taxpayers money, Transforming Telford has declared itself responsible for creating a handful of jobs and was almost responsible for scuppering the private redevelopment of the Telford Centre.

The excellent residents group, Telford Council Watch, was tipped off that Transforming Telford was being wound up this week.  The council voted last night to withdraw their “contract” and repatriate their powers and responsibilities back to the elected council where they belong.  Transforming Telford hasn’t been wound up yet – the council only got 2 seats on the board of directors in return for their “investment” and can’t force the decision – but the company was set up for the sole purpose of spending our council tax on regeneration and as they’re no longer required to do so, there’s no reason for the company to continue to exist.

Hopefully most of the staff of Transforming Telford will be transferred to the council rather than being made redundant but as far as I’m concerned – and I’m sure most residents would agree – there is no place for Chief Executive Sarah Raper or the other “top brass” quangocrats in the council.

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Is Gordon Brown responsible for swine flu panic?

I went to the doctors this morning because of an irritating bad chest I’ve had for weeks and while I was there I asked him about the swine flu vaccinations and whether they have a list of at-risk patients already (#2 has a heart condition so I’m naturally interested to know).  He said they do have a list of people who are high risk, #2 is low risk with his heart condition as it’s not chronic but as a young child he’ll be one of the first to be offered the vaccine.

Interestingly and perhaps a little unsurprisingly, he said they were being inundated with calls about swine flu and the majority of the calls were from people anxious about swine flu or convinced they had it when they didn’t.  This is presumably why I got an engaged tone for 15 minutes this morning trying to get an appointment.  Does it help that the British government has told the general public that up to 65k people could die from swine flu?  In his opinion it wasn’t the best move, let’s just leave it at that.

The thing is, for the amount of people who have contracted swine flu, the number of deaths has been low.  Lower than you would expect with seasonal flu.  Yes, swine flu is spreading round the population faster than seasonal flu but that’s because we don’t have an immunity to it.  Having said that, Europeans seem to have a better natural defence to swine flu than Americans which would suggest that it may be something we’ve had here before.  Tens of thousands of people already have immunity to swine flu by virtue of having contracted it in the last couple of months.  By the end of the year, if all goes to plan, the whole population will be offered a vaccine.

So why the panic?  Why are the NHS (or, more properly, the British government) putting out information that’s causing panic?  We’re in an era of unprecedented access to information, it’s possible to lay your hands on more information about virtually anything from your living room than ever before.  This is the first major domestic public health problem we’ve had since most of the population got access to Google so perhaps the British government is thinking that the best way to satisfy peoples’ thirst for information is to give it to them, warts and all.  Or perhaps not …

There is a theory (you might call it a conspiracy theory) which quite a few people have arrived at that the Prime Mentalist is behind this.  Not that he has unleashed a swine flu virus created in a secret laboratory in a disused tube station (although I bet you could find someone who thinks that) but that he has presided over mismanagement of the epidemic to give him a crisis that he can use to increase his popularity and stop talk of an election.  How could we have an election in the middle of a swine flu pandemic?  Think of the public health risks.  Think of the disruption when we’re in the middle of a potentially disasterous flu epidemic.  How could you call an election under such circumstances and claim to have the interests of the country at heart?

And, of course, there is the vaccine.  The UK is the only country in the world to order enough vaccine for the whole population.  If and when the vaccine materialises – and assuming it doesn’t kill more people than swine flu does like the vaccine the Americans used in 1976 – then El Gordo will have been the Prime Minister that saved us all from the killer flu that would have killed up to 65k people but for his intervention.

The theory that he has allowed swine flu to take hold and spread scare stories in the media just so he can avoid an election and look good when it fails to wipe out half the population hinges on whether El Gordo’s insanity is so pronounced that he would sacrifice the lives of hundreds of people for personal gain.  I’m quite prepared to believe that he would do it, the only question for me is whether he will get caught out.

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Total Politics Top Blogs

Total Politics (Iain Dale‘s latest venture) are running the annual top blogs poll.

Send your top ten list of UK blogs to to take part in the poll.

If you included Wonko’s World, Bloggers4UKIP or the Campaign for an English Parliament in your top 10 list that would be lovely. 🙂

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CEP: £200m sticking plaster for English schools

Campaign for an English Parliament logo 

The British government is putting an extra £200m into the English education budget to fund extra places as shortages have reported.

The extra £200m will, of course, trigger a corresponding bonus for the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish budgets whether they need it or not thanks to the Barnett Bribe.  The population of Scotland, Wales and NI is increasing at a fraction of the rate it is in England so they aren’t suffering the same shortage of spaces as we are south of the border.

The British government says that the shortage of primary school places is down to rising birth rates and the recession meaning people can’t afford to send their kids to private schools.  Nothing to do with annual net immigration of about a quarter of million people.

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Clever mini-wonko’s

My boys came home from school today with their school reports.

#1 goes to secondary school in September so this is his final report from primary school.  The expectation for the average child in his year was 4a or 4b – he got five 5a’s.  A child geting a level 5 in year 9 at secondary school (that’s 3rd year to us old forgey’s) would be expected to get C’s in their GCSE’s and he’s got three years at the best sate school in the country before he gets to year 9!

#2 has two years left at primary school and the expectation for his year was 3b or 3c and he got four 3a’s which is the expectation for the end of the following year.

#3 is in year 2 and he got a 3c and two 2a’s.  The expectation for his year is 2b or 2c.  Considering he’s got dyspraxia and struggles with co-ordination, concentration and mood swings, exceeding expectations for all subjects is even more of an achievement.

Obviously very pround of my four little brainboxes (#4 hasn’t got her report from nursery yet but she’s miles ahead of all the other kids in nursery so we expect it to be good).

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Asda starts fuel price war

Asda have dropped the price of their petrol and diesel to below a pound a litre, saying “There is no justification for any major retailer selling fuel above £1 per litre”.

Good for Asda, there is indeed no excuse for selling fuel about £1 per litre.  Oil prices have risen slightly in the last month but in the last week or so they have actually dropped.  The price of a barrel of oil is less than half what it was last year when the price of fuel went through the roof.

Asda has made a welcome gesture in reducing the price of its fuel to 99.9p/litre but it needs to go down more.  Much more.  In reality, there is no reason for the price of a litre of fuel to be more than about 70p/litre.  The fuel companies will still make eye-watering profits and the Treasury will still rake in billions of pounds of fuel tax.  More importantly, it will help bring the recession to an end by putting more money in our pockets which we can spend reinvigorating the economy.

Still, every little helps.  Or is that the other one …

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Dear Mr Burnham

A few weeks ago, I emailed Andy Burnham’s office at the Department of Health after watching him talk to the BBC for 5 minutes about the English NHS without once mentioning England.

Dear Mr Burnham,

I just listened to you talk about the English NHS for 5 minutes yet you didn’t mention the word England or English once.  You talked about “the NHS”, “the health service” and “the country” but all the time you were talking about the English NHS, the English health service and England.

You are an English Secretary of State for an English government department talking on national TV, broadcast to the whole of the UK and didn’t once point out that you were only talking about England.

I wonder how many Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish people you worried that they might be losing their free prescriptions, free hospital parking and expensive life-saving cancer drugs that your department says we can’t afford in England and how many English people you misled into believing that the rest of the UK would be helping to plug the gaping hole in the British budget when that’s not the case.

Is there any chance of you using the word England at any point during your job as Secretary of State for the English NHS?


They replied a week and a half later …

Dear Mr Parr

Thank you for your email dated 10 June to Andy Burnham about England and the NHS.  I have been asked to reply.

The Department appreciates that not everybody in the UK will be aware that most matters of health policy have been devolved, and that Mr Burnham will generally only comment on the NHS in England.

I would like to thank you for your comments, which have been noted.

I hope this is helpful.

Yours sincerely,

Martin Gatty
Customer Service Centre

Right, so they appreciate that he’s been misleading the entire population but they’re going to do chuff all about it?


Thank you for acknowledging my concerns and making note of my comments.

Perhaps you could now explain what you intend to do to ensure that most people do understand that Andy Burnham is only talking about England?

A simple solution would be to use the word “England” when he’s talking about England rather than “Britain” or “this country”.  I’m sure that would help people understand which country he is talking about.  Or perhaps the Minister has a better solution?

I look forward to hearing of your plans.



I got another reply shortly afterwards …

Dear Mr Parr,

Thank you for your further email to Andy Burnham about England and the NHS.  I have been asked to reply.

I regret that the Department cannot add to its previous reply to you dated 18 June or comment any further on this issue.

I am sorry I cannot be more helpful.

Yours sincerely,

Martin Gatty
Customer Service Centre

Right, so they appreciate my concerns, don’t answer my questions and then refuse to comment further.  That’s not on …

Thank you for your further response.

Can I assume, then, that the English Health Minister and English Department of Health will continue to pursue a policy of deliberately omitting the word “England” from publications or to refer to England as “Britain” or “the country”?


And their predictable response …

Dear Mr Parr,

Thank you for your further email to the Department of Health about England , the UK and the NHS. I have been asked to reply.

As you are aware, the Department has already written to you previously regarding this matter, and I can only reiterate to you that there is nothing further the Department can add, and it will not be corresponding further with you on this issue.

Should you have any new concerns in the future that you wish to raise with the Department, then we will be happy to address those issues. I am sorry I cannot be more helpful.

Yours sincerely,

Martin Gatty
Customer Service Centre

Tossers.  I’ve just found Andy Burnham’s parliament email address so I’ll forward the email trail on to him and see if he thinks his department dealt with my email in an appropriate manner.

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Finger Licking Expert



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That was lucky

Less than a fortnight, El Gordo said in his Building England’s Britain’s Future speech that he wanted English local authorities to favour “British” people when letting out council houses over immigrants.  He has been told that this would be illegal.
When refinery workers went on strike a few months ago he declared that there would be “British jobs for British people”.  He was, of course, told that this would be illegal and so he backed down.

When half of his cabinet were exposed as expenses fraudsters, he declared that there would be prosecutions and prison sentences for any MP that was caught fiddling expenses.  He was told that this would cause problems, such as MPs getting into trouble for fiddling their expenses, and that it would probaly be illegal so he backed down.

Who comes up with this stuff?  Does he just make up policy himself or is there someone in Downing Street deliberately telling him to say things he will later have to back down on?  Co-incidentally, the Inequalities and Human Rights Commission have rushed out a report based on 2 year old figures from one of their left wing sockpuppet research quangos, IPPR, saying that immigrants don’t get any preferential treatment when it comes to housing.  That was lucky, their our glorious leader might have lost face otherwise.

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Bloggers4UKIP: European Empire releases road pricing sales video

74% of residents in Edinburgh voted against a road pricing scheme. 79% of residents in Manchester voted against a road pricing scheme. 1.8m people signed a petition on the Prime Minister’s website calling on the British government to abandon plans for road pricing.

The European Empire’s response? Ignore the referenda and press on with promoting road pricing using its Galileo satellite navigation white elephant project, setting up a road pricing quango and releasing a Galileo road pricing sales video.

Keep an eye on the flags of countries involved in their crackpot scheme at around 4:35.

Hat-tip: Drivers’ Alliance

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UK Citizenship Test: Load of Bollocks

I just took the bullshit UK citizenship test on the Home Office’s practice website.

I’m not entirely convinced that creating a website that gives you the answers to the questions you’re going to get in the test is such a good idea although if you want to make sure that nobody fails, it’s a brilliant plan.  Hopefully the English test isn’t judged by the person who wrote the website because they used the wrong spelling of practice (the website is a thing, not a doing).
I got 50 which means I failed.  Which is hardly surprising because the questions really are, as I mentioned in the opening line of this post, bollocks.

Q1: In the 1980s, the largest immigrant groups were from the West Indies, Ireland, India and Pakistan.

I said true but apparently it wasn’t, it was Americans, Aussies, South Africans and Kiwis.

Q2: Which TWO of these are names for the Church of England?

I said Anglican and Presbyterian but apparently it’s Anglican and Episcopal.  The other option was Methodist.

Q3: How many parliamentary constituencies are there?

I said 646 and I was right.  The other options were 464, 564 and 664.

Q4: Which of these statements is correct?


The second one is the right answer of course, unless you’re an asylum seeker in which case you can get a grant.

Q5: Many job applications will require a covering letter and

a document showing proof of identity
your national insurance number
a Curriculum Vitae
a signed photograph

The answer is, of course, a CV but a lot of companies now are so scared of being prosecuted for employing illegal immigrants that they insist on a copy of your passport or driving licence even if you’ve lived your whole life here.

Q6: ‘Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland.’

I said false but the answer was true which I actually did know but I must have misread the question.

Q7: In which year did married women get the right to divorce their husband?


The answer is 1857 but really, who actually knows the answer to that question?

Q8: In which TWO of the following places does the European Parliament meet?


The answer is Strasbourg and Brussels which I got right naturally.  Interesting that a question relating to EU citizenship should be in the British citizenship test but it’s not the only one.

Q9: Which of the following TWO types of people get their prescriptions free of charge?

People aged 60 or over
People aged 18 or under
Pregnant women or those with a baby under 12 months old
People on the minimum wage

Now, there must be a different version of this test in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland because in Wales the answer is everyone and in Scotland and Northern Ireland it’s nearly everyone.  The answer in England is People aged 60 or over and pregnant women or those with a baby under 12 months old.  I answered that one incorrectly, I think I was too busy seething about the question.

Q10: ‘Adults who have been unemployed for six months are usually required to join New Deal if they wish to continue receiving benefit.’

I answered true because I’m not au fait with this particular bullshit scheme for occupying lazy unemployable people.  It’s false though, it’s 18 months.  Like it matters.

Q11: The number of children and young people up to the age of 19 in the UK is

13 million
14 million
15 million
16 million

The answer is 15 million, I said 16 million.  Why would anyone need to know this?

Q12: The percentage of people in the UK in 2001 who said they were Muslims was


I said 3.4% but it’s actually 2.7%.  The others presumably said “no speaky English” like they usually do when a white man in a suit knocks on their door (I’m speaking from experience here).

Q13: A quango is

a government department
a non-departmental public body
an arm of the judiciary
an education establishment

None of those is really correct (it’s a Quasi Non-Governmental Organisation) but non-departmental public body was the closest and “correct” answer.

Q14: ‘You can attend a hospital without a GP’s letter only in the case of an emergency.’

The “correct” answer is true according to the test but the right answer is false because hospitals provide many drop-in clinics where you don’t need a letter from your GP.

Q15: Information about training opportunities can be found from which TWO of the following?

The local library
The local council offices
The Home Office

The answer is local library and Learndirect.  I got that one right.

Q16: Which of the following statements is correct?

Information in the census is immediately available for the public to search
Information in the census is kept secret for 100 years

I answered that it is kept secret for 100 years (not strictly true – it’s shared widely with quangos) which was the “correct” answer.

Q17: Which TWO of the following can vote in all UK public elections?

Citizens of the Irish Republic resident in the UK
Citizens of EU states resident in the UK
Citizens of the Commonwealth resident in the UK
Anyone resident in the UK

I said EU and Commonwealth but it’s Irish and Commonwealth.  I was going to disagree but I just noticed the word “all” in there.

Q18: Schools must be open

150 days a year
170 days a year
190 days a year
200 days a year

I randomly chose 190 which is the right answer.  I have 4 children, 3 of which are in school and I really didn’t know.  Who, other than a teacher, would know?

Q19: From which TWO places can you obtain advice if you have a problem at work and need to take further action?

The Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB)
Your local MP
Your employer
The national Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS)

The correct answer is CAB and ACAS.  I got this one right too.

Q20: The official report of the proceedings of Parliament is called

the Speaker’s notes
the electoral register
the constitution

The answer is, of course, Hansard.

Q21: Which of these statements is correct?

For cars and motorbikes the speed limit on single carriageways is 60mph
For cars and motorbikes the speed limit on single carriageways is 70mph

The “correct” answer is 60mph but that’s not true because the car hating British government has encourage the car hating nazis in local councils to reduce speed limits to often ridiculously low speeds and as a result, the speed limit on single carriageway roads can be anywhere between 5mph and 60mph.

Q22: A by-election is held

half-way through the life of a Parliament
every two years
when an MP dies or resigns
when the Prime Minister decides to call one

Again, one that can’t be answered correctly.  The “correct” answer is when an MP dies or resigns but an MP can’t resign, they have to apply for a job as a paid agent of the Crown – usually the Crown Steward and Bailiff of the three Chiltern Hundreds of Stoke, Desborough and Burnham or Steward of the Manor of Northstead – at which point they become ineligble to sit in the Commons and are removed from office as an MP.  You see, this is the sort of thing that should be in a citizenship test.

Q23: Which of these statements is correct?

Children aged 13-16 cannot work more than 12 hours in any school week
Children aged 13-16 cannot work more than 10 hours in any school week

The correct answer, apparently, is 12 hours.  I said 10.  But again, who knows this sort of stuff generally?

Q24: Which of the following statements is true?

The governing body of the EU is the Council of Europe

It’s the Council of the European Union apparently but I’ve only ever heard it called the Council of Europe.  The right answer, of course, is France and Germany but that wasn’t one of the options.

So there you have it, 24 questions of complete bollocks, some of which were impossible to answer correctly and all utterly trivial.

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Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Liebour





He went on to say …




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Fund the BBC via council tax

The Director General of the BBC, Mark Thompson, has suggested that the BBC licence fee might one day be lumped in with general taxation such as the council tax or via a levy on electricity bills because more people are avoiding paying it by watching TV online.

The Daily Mail says that this would cause concerns that the BBC’s independence might be compromised if it was to be funded through general taxation.  I think that on the planet on which the Daily Mail is based, the BBC isn’t really an extension of the British government’s propaganda machine, full of left wing extremists.

The BBC licence fee might not be called a tax but that’s effectively what it is.  If you want to watch a TV you have to pay the licence fee, in much the same way that if you want to drive a car you have to pay the road fund licence (aka car tax).  They might not be called taxes but that’s what they are.  Would being funded out of general taxation make the BBC any more or less “independent” than the BBC licence tax?

I actually quite like the idea of funding the BBC through council tax, assuming the council tax was changed into a local income tax based on ability to pay rather than the estimated average value of the houses on your street in the 90’s.  It means the Scots and Welsh can pay for their Welsh and Gaelic channels themselves instead of the English having to foot the bill.  The BBC Asian Network can be funded through some targeted taxation in areas that have large Asian populations.  BBC Alba costs the taxpayer £14m a year – £10m from the Scottish government (subsidised by the English taxpayer) and 4m from BBC Scotland (funded mostly by the English taxpayer) – but only 1% of Scots speak Gaelic and only about 250,000 of the 60m people that live in the UK watch the channel.

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Anyone but Murray in the Wimbledon final!

Thank god for that, Miserable Murray, the English hating jock has lost to Andy Roddick.  Like I said this morning, life would be unbearable if he’d have won.

Interestingly, if you search for the phrase Anyone but Murray in Google, the top match is a post I wrote on this blog last week, relegating the BBC into second place.  A Google image search for Anyone but Murray throws up the above image as the top match.

Thanks for the traffic Google, love you long time.

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Eco-terrorists convicted





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