Sun. Jun 20th, 2021
Apple Bomb

A Squeezy Jet flight to Glasgow caused a massive security alert, after an apple was mistaken for a bomb. All flights were grounded, and the airport evacuated, whilst the emergency services dealt with the unidentified fruit.

There has been previous criticism of the airport’s handling of ‘security incidents’. One terrorist, who tried to drive a bomb laden car into the departure lounge, was beaten up by a passenger. “Anyone coming to Glasgow to blow the place up should feel secure in the knowledge that they’re safe to do so.” said an airport spokesperson.

The alarm was raised by Ian McNapton “A man opened the overhead storage locker to get something from his bag, it was then I noticed something odd. I’d never seen anything like it, it was round and red, with a fuse sticking out of the top. I didn’t panic, I went and explained what I’d seen to the steward and he arranged for the police to come.”

The Scottish Emergency services have confirmed, following a quick Google, that the suspect object was not a bomb but a Red Delicious. They used a controlled explosion to destroy the apple.   

Squeezy Jet have issued a statement reminding all passengers, that if they are travelling to Scotland, they should leave all fruit and vegetables behind. The basic rule is don’t bring unfamiliar items into strange places.


By Wild Gerald

