May Day Coupon

May Day Discount

From 1 May 2018 through 31 May 2018, we are offering 10% off of *all editing projects.

*Coupon can not be used for an Emergency Edit

How does this work?

  • $50 payment must be paid within May 2018 to secure the 10% savings.
  • The $50 payment is credited to your total due.
  • 10% savings apply to the total of one single project.
  • Only one May Day savings is permitted per client.
  • Can not be combined with additional discounts
  • Only applies to rates equal to or greater than $0.005


Holiday Coupon

Happy Holidays!

From 1 December 2017 through 31 December 2017, we are offering 20% off of *all editing projects.

*Coupon can not be used for an Emergency Edit

How does this work?

  • $50 payment must be paid within December to secure the 20% savings.
  • The $50 payment is credited to your total due.
  • 20% savings apply to the total of one single project.
  • Only one holiday savings is permitted per client.
  • Can not be combined with additional discounts
  • Only applies to rates equal to or greater than $0.005








Pacing is all about the right balance between details and action.

Generally, there are three modes in a story:

  • Time passing
  • Exchange of information
  • Events unfolding

We will review each of these in turn.

Time Passing








Exchange of Information












Action naturally is fast.












“Let’s move,” says Aragorn.
“Give them a moment. For pity’s sake.”






Dialogue: One final word




Dialogue has its place. Use it sparingly in action scenes.

Book Building

When an author starts out, one of the hardest things to decide is what kind of edit they need. They’ll ask their friends. They’ll ask their family. But many sources lack the knowledge to make a professional opinion. And many authors don’t know an editor. To know the difference between types of edits, you first must know the stages.

Stages of Editing

The book is done. You’ve spent months…years going through the stages of writing. Let’s review them, shall we?

  1. Idea
  2. Brainstorm
  3. Outline
  4. Rough draft (First Draft)
  5. Revisions (Second Draft)
  6. self-edit (Third Draft)
  7. Beta readers
  8. self-edit (Fourth Draft)

… … …

Now what?

Now, an editor reviews. Several things can go wrong with a story. What is wrong is based on a number of things: how well does the author write? How much experience does the author have? Has the author gone through the eight stages of writing? Has the author used beta-readers? Did the author edit? Did the author attend school? Is the author a plotter? Does the author read?

Book building

Building a book is like building a body. There is the skeleton, the tendons and organs, and the brain and nervous system.

The skeleton is the form. This is the order of the story and the layout. This is the order of events. So long as the nervous system and tendons are in order, it’s pretty simple to break and reset a few bones. Some work will be required to be sure the nervous system isn’t damaged, but as a whole, the skeletal frame requires the least amount of correction.

Fixing the skeleton is called a developmental edit. We’ll be checking the book’s frame and be sure that everything is in the right order. Be ready to cut characters, rearrange scenes, and write up entire chapters. We’ll be breaking bones and resetting them. But when we’re done, you’re book will shine…

The tendons and organs are the grammar. This is your syntax, spelling, punctuation, and misplaced modifiers. This is your antecedents and missing transitional sentences. Redundant words, purple prose, and contradictions…This is the working machinations of you manuscript.

Anyone of these organs be transplanted and traded out with some work. Depending on the damage, depends on how much work is ahead of you. Damage to the tendons and organs can be fatal, but most of the time, it’s manageable. Unless…

 This is your line edit. The line edit will require a copy edit later: cosmetic surgery to clean up the mess. Expect some follow up surgery. A line edit may be extensive. Now we’re getting into heart surgery…

If your manuscript requires heart surgery (if the author is not educated on misplaced modifiers, antecedents, and head hopping), the author will most likely require grammar lessons and should probably conduct an entire rewrite of the book before hiring an editor.

Line edits reflect the author’s grammatical knowledge. We could be talking about spelling, missed commas, and redundant usage (minor). This is a proper line edit. But we also could be talking about an author who does not know what a clause is, or what an antecedent is (major).

If the author is grossly uneducated in grammar, the manuscript is beyond an editor and the author really needs to attend a grammar class or two prior to hiring an editor. This kind of work precedes a developmental edit.

The nervous system is like your plot, characterization, and setting. Any damage done to the nervous system may not be salvageable. A broken nervous system is fatal and will most likely reshape the story beyond recognition. A broken nervous system may require a full scrub on the project and a return to the white board. This may set you back a few years.

Does your character lack character? Is your setting invisible? Is your story lacking plot and movement. Does it take half the book to get to an event?The nervous system is damaged and you need to return to the white board and index cards and start over. An editor is a long ways away (depending on how fast/well you write).

A superficial wound? Skin graphs? Cosmetic surgery? Second-degree burn? Welcome to copy editing.  We’ll be looking for misspellings, redundancy, and commas. We’ll be polishing this manuscript for an agent or publisher.

Need a band-aid? That’s proofreading. This is done by the publisher. If you are the publisher, this is when you mail a physical copy of your novel to an editor for review. When we are done, we mail the book back to you.


Back to School Coupon

Back to School

From 1 September 2017 through 30 September 2017, we are offering 15% off of *all editing projects.

*Coupon can not be used for an Emergency Edit

How does this work?

  • $50 payment must be paid within September to secure the 15% savings.
  • The $50 payment is credited to your total due.
  • 15% savings apply to the total of one single project.
  • Only one Back to School savings is permitted per client.
  • Can not be combined with additional discounts
  • Only applies to rates equal to or greater than $0.005


Subjects and Objects

Subjects and objects. One would think they are the same thing, or are irrelevant, but most of the problems I see regarding sentence structure, wordiness, and clutter is credited to treating the object like a subject.

Learn the difference and improve your writing by leaps and bounds.

Why should you learn this?

Knowing the difference between a subject and an object in a sentence not only improves your writing. It makes writing easier. So much easier. So what is an object and a subject? Simple.

A subject is what or who the sentence is all about. Every sentence revolves around a noun. That is key, so I will repeat it. Every sentence is about a subject. Whether Max goes to the store, I lost my watch again, or my mother is flying in from Arizona, not one person can form a single sentence without  focusing on a noun: the sentence’s subject.


Rewind and simplify.

Let’s talk about Max’s ball.

Max threw the ball.

Max and the ball are both nouns, but Max is the subject. The ball is the object. He is our hero. Max did the throwing. That is who we are talking about. The ball is the object. The object is what the subject interacted with.

The object is what the subject verbed… every time.  No exceptions. That is really the secret to all of this. The object is what the subject verbed. When you tell me that the subject was verbed by the object, that is a passive voice that unnecessarily adds extra words. Don’t do that. Be direct. The object is what the subject verbed.

Max threw the ball. 

That is pretty straight forward. The object is what the subject verbed. Now let’s place the object into the subject role.

The ball bounced when Max threw it.

The object is now verbing and our subject has been reduced to an afterthought. Seven words later, we’ve made the same point of four words.  Compare:

Max dropped the ball.

(The subject verbed the object)

The ball bounced when Max threw it.

(The object verbed, and the subject is introduced as an afterthought)

Here is one of my favorites.

Max’s hand dropped the ball.

In this case, the subject (Max) has been completely removed from the sentence and an inanimate thing has replaced our hero, Max. Here’s the other problem with this set up. Hands are not sentient.

Sentient: Able to perceive or feel things.

Sentient things must have a brain. Max has a brain. He has a consciousness. This is very important in sentence structure. Max’s hands do not have a brain, nor do they have a consciousness, ergo they can not throw. Max can. Hands are just the tools Max uses to throw. Max makes the conscious effort to throw the ball. Action through verbs implies choice. To say Max’s hands threw the ball is like saying Max threw the ball with his hands. Let’s try this example.

The hammer pounded in the nails.

Really? That’s one impressive hammer. Remember: Action through verbs implies choice.Can you see anyone holding the hammer? I don’t know about you, but I see no one holding the hammer. I see a magic hammer randomly pounding in nails. Let’s add a sentient subject…one with brains.

The zombie used Max’s hammer to pound in the nails.

Now we’re stating the obvious. Unless the zombie is using a rock to pound in the nails, we don’t need to state that the zombie is using a hammer.

The zombie pounded in the nails.

“The zombie used Max’s hammer to pound in the nails” is a cluttered mess that states the obvious.


How do I fix this?

Keep your subject in the limelight. Always present your subject before the object. When editing always look for the subject. Identify what the subject is “verbing.” Practice simplifying those sentences by always putting that subject before the object. Now, that’s not to say an adverbial clause, modifier, or preposition won’t lead a sentence.

Last Saturday, Max threw the ball.

As I was walking to the store, Max threw the ball.

Under the bridge, Max threw the ball.

In every case Max came before the ball. Every time.

Thank you for stepping into the Classroom. Leave a comment, follow us, subscribe. Is there a lesson you want us to cover? Contact us.

Head Hopping

There is very little out there that successfully explains head hopping. Many explain head hopping as referring to point of view. But when writers hear point of view, we think of 1st, 2nd, or 3rd point of view. This is why it is so hard to teach and understand head hopping.
Head hopping is not about point of view. Get that out of your head. Head hopping is about perspective. You can change perspective while in 1st, 2nd, or 3rd point of view. You could be a master in point of view, but struggle at head hopping.
Why should you learn this?


Head hopping confuses readers and pulls them out of story faster than ill-begotten grammar. It always forces the reader to crunch up their face and ask, “What!?” They will go back and re-read the passage several times before they realize just what happened. Head hopping is one of the leading causes of story death.

Let’s talk Harry Potter

The Harry Potter series is almost always shown in Harry’s head.

Let’s examine Book #5. Harry is lounging in Aunt Petunia’s flower bed outside the window. He’s listening to the television for clues about Voldemort. The story is written in 3rd person–he, Aunt Petunia, Dudley, they–But we are still experiencing the story in Harry’s head. We are reading his thoughts, sensing his feelings, experiencing his views on the events around him.

Harry is rarely alone (ironically). He is almost always surrounded by Dudley, Vernon, Snape, Ron, Hermione, and the Weasley’s. That’s a lot of heads to be around. We could experience the story in any one of those perspectives. But Rowling chose Harry’s head. Why? Because he is the most interesting. Because the series is called “Harry Potter.”

Let’s jump ahead to Book #6. The first scene is told in Mrs. Malfoy’s head. We experience her despair, her worry, her fears. We can only guess at what Snape is feeling.

Anytime a scene is played out, we can experience the events in anyone of the characters present. By the first sentence, an author has communicated to the reader which head we are in.

Now, here is where the writing can lose us. It is an unspoken rule that once you enter the head of a character, you can not leave the head for the remainder of the scene.

Books are not like movies. In a movie we are in no one’s head. We are in our heads witnessing events. We can’t identify the emotions of anyone in the scene. We can witness clues.

Let’s look at Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back. The grief in Leia’s eyes when Hans is frozen in carbonite. They courage of Hans as he looks lovingly upon Leia. The agonizing roar of Chewy as Hans is frozen. We have no idea what anyone is thinking. We can only guess at what everyone is feeling based on the faces we see. We are in no one’s head.

In books, we are in someone’s head. Not being in anyone’s head is called omniscient. The book is like a movie and we are reading no one’s thoughts. We are experiencing no one’s feelings.

Books are like pensieves. They allow us to enter the minds of characters. Back to Harry Potter Book #5. We slide into Harry’s mind. We can feel the heat on that summer day. We can feel the panic, the worry, the anticipation. We have the added bonus of hearing his thoughts because, hey, we are in his head after all. We listen as Harry ponders about Voldemort, thinks about Ron and Hermione, feels relief about hiding from Vernon and Dudley.

Let’s change perspective (not point of view). What if Rowling had written the scene from Petunia’s perspective? She’s in the kitchen making lemonade. She passes the glass to Vernon who she admires lovingly, thinking how handsome and muscular he looks. She sits down into the perfect furniture of her perfect home and fans herself while the news hums in the background. She then thinks about how precious Dudley is and what she’ll be making for dinner. She may be concerned about her gardens in the heat and curses the water ban. She may be preoccupied with the latest gossip from next door. Suddenly, she sits up and starts talking to Vernon about how so-‘n-so from next door has just planned a holiday to Bermuda that summer. She feels pleased when Vernon grumbles about not having to hear their lawn mower all summer. On a whole, Petunia’s perspective is rather mundane and boring.

There is a crack outside. Petunia jumps, spilling her lemonade all down her front. She looks out the window and there is “that boy” holding out his… oh, I can’t say it, she thinks. Vernon is up, strangling the boy. “Put that thing away!” Meanwhile, all Petunia can think about is her precious flower bed being crushed by that boy.

A moment later, the boy is gone, Vernon has settled back into the chair, and Petunia sits the day away fanning herself in the heat. A few hours later, Dudley comes through the door and vomits.

On a whole, Petunia’s perspective is uneventful. So we follow Harry’s thoughts instead. We settle into his mind. We take in the emotions and worries. We hear the crack and know its a wizard apparating. He has his wand out before anyone can swoop down and kill him. Where is he? Harry thinks. Is it a death eater? Is it Voldemort? Has he come for me?

Oh, no! My flowers, Petunia thinks, pressing her hand to her mouth. That boy’s gone and crushed them all.

It’s jarring to settle into one mind, one perspective, then to be ripped out of that head and dropped into another… Most transitions aren’t smooth or clear. We keep reading thinking it is Harry who has said, “Oh no! My flowers!”

Wait! What? Now we’re thinking about the writing and the grammar, and not what that sudden crack was. We stop being on Privet Drive. We’re back on the bus, holding a book, while the driver pulls over and a group of people shuffle off.

How do I fix this?

A common trick authors use is to write the character’s name at the top of the scene. This serves as a reminder which character you are experiencing. It will be easier to spot when you stray from that character.


Showing vs. Telling

When I started out writing, I was lost with the concept of showing and not telling. Of course I was showing. I had said it didn’t I? The words were right there.

It wasn’t until I saw an example online that finally cleared everything up. Looking back, showing vs. telling is still one of the hardest things to learn for writers.

Why should you learn this?

Showing brings your story to life in a way that telling just can’t. Whenever an author tells, something has been skipped. Showing affects pacing. It emerges your reader into the story. Showing keeps your reader in the story so they can forget where they really are.

Let’s talk Harry Potter

Almost everyone has read or seen Harry Potter. For this reason, I love to use samples from J.K. Rowling.

Do you remember Tom Riddle’s diary? Or the pensieve in Dumbeldore’s office. Voldemort said it himself.

“Can you tell me about the Chamber of Secrets?” Harry writes in the diary.

“No,” Voldemort replies. “But I can show you.”

What happens next? Voldemort pulls Harry right into the pages of the diary. He is there. He witnesses the look on Tom Riddle’s face when Tom looks at the dead girl. We see Dumbledore stare down at Tom as he asks, “Is there something you would like to tell me, Tom?”

This is showing. Showing kept us in the story.

How different would the story have been if Tom Riddle had said, “Yes. I will tell you about the Chamber of Secrets. Fifty years ago, I found Hagrid housing an acromantula in Hogwarts. It killed some girl in the bathroom.”  The end. When an author tells, readers can sense that we’ve missed something.

Crime mystery shows and novels tell you what happened. They spend the rest of the book/movie trying to find what they missed. We would find the girl in the bathroom. We hear the investigators say, “Girl. In her teens. Found her dead in the bathroom. From the look of things, I’d say something scared her to death.”

They would investigate the school children.

“What can you tell me about the girl in the bathroom?”

“It was Myrtle,” Tom would say. “I don’t know much…But I did see Hagrid with an acromantula in the dormitory.”

By the end of the mystery, we have the full picture. If we’re lucky, the movie/television show goes back and shows us what did happen.

Want another example of showing vs. telling? Have a look at Boondock Saints. The first ten minutes of the movie is a perfect example of showing and telling. The investigators all standing around talking about a serial smasher? Telling. Conner ripping the toilet out of the floor and dropping it off the roof to save his brother? Showing.
