Tuesday, October 27, 2009

If I was a soldier (Procrasto Broadcast #7)

If I was a soldier deployed in Afghanistan, and I read this, I'd freak out!

And by freak out, I mean taking my beloved rifle, waxing it clean, loading it up full metal jacket, and coming out of my tent wearing nothing but bullet chains, walking backwards facing my US army camp, towards the Taliban's stronghold, and unloading on the camp while tossing grenades on the taliban behind, all awhile shouting the lyrics from "the answer is blowing in the wind".

Apparently, most marines have better nerves than I do.
This excellent documentary shows how and why the US is failing on every fronts in Afghanistan... using marines as diplomats? thats how they're gonna solve all this?

i love my country

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

Monday, October 26, 2009

Colonel Herzog Shall Soon Be Free!

Rejoice with me! As my life revolves around his, I will soon have released myself from the shackles of study sessions. Let us celebrate by participating in the activity promoted by the following video:

Yes, it is a bicycle race.

Saturday. 16h. 1297 Chemin de la forêt. Entrée du cimetière.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Procrasto Broadcast, #6

I would like to take the time to let you know that when I get diagnosed with cancer, I'll steal a car (preferably a 1970 challenger), fill the tank with nitroglycerin, and pop this song on repeat and drive towards the horizon...

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Procrasto Broadcast Series, episode 5 : Geek Castration

MOC and Herzog teamed up on a special double team and used their derived special attack to bring you a night of epic legendary brütality on November 6th...

(holy shit, I just remembered my girlfriend's birthday's on the 7th....)

but then an evil monster succubus appeared and blocked their route!

Will the Special double Force geek squadron make its way to their intended goal?

Thats what we'll see during our next Procrasto Broadcast Episode: Quest for the Ultimate Geek Night.

Until then, try to reserve your November 6th.

Concerning CO2

So I watched one of the videos on the site that the Colonel suggested (CO2 is green) where an "expert" claims that more CO2 is good for the environment because it causes more plant growth, bla bla bla, ridiculous, no mention of drought or flooding, or displacement of people, etc. ....then something flashed at the side of the screen...

I backtracked in the video because I wondered what was written in that short illegible flash and it turns out it was his credentials. One would think that they would keep his credentials on the screen longer to enhance his reputation thus giving more merit to his arguments, right?

Well, maybe not. You see, it would probably have been damaging since it said that he was a "Retired Energy Industry Executive".

I'm glad Obama's attacking FOX. I'm sick and tired of these bozos masquerading as journalists. Fox isn't news. Their arguments make about as much sense as a drunk guy in a bar trying to start a fight with a stranger because he doesn't like the look of his face.

"Hey you!... with the face!!! Ya you!! What are you lookin' at faggot!!"

-FOX News

PS: Why has no one posted this yet

Friday, October 23, 2009

Midterms Studies => Procrastinatomania => Posting Frenzy

In this fourth inning of our Science Series,
we shall observe the phenomenon characterized by the production of liquid by
the glands found in the epiderm layer of the human skin, namely, sudation.
Sweatology is a fairly recent science and the observations reported here have never been published before by any member of the Science Community, therefore they should be deemed important.
We shall begin this paper with the following questions:

1- What are the underlying causes of sudation?

2- Is sweating only a physical mechanism or can it be controlled by the Mental Powers?

Let's try to answer these questions through the study of a case scenario.
We shall examine the case of a fictitious humanoid, which we will call, for the sake of practicality, Burt Lancaster.
Here is Burt Lancaster's trajectory from his daily bicycle ride:

Now everytime Burt Lancaster travels on this path, he starts sweating at the same exact point, about 3 km into the bicycle ride, right at the beginning of Querbes, right there:

Now, here the attentive reader will probably remark : "Of course he's sweating when he gets to Querbes, he's racist."
To this I will answer: "yes, indeed he is, but let's keep our science eye open."
Even if Burt Lancaster is a well known racist, our scientific mind pushes us in another direction from the ethnological considerations. Even if Burt Lancaster is racist, could he not try to retain from sweating at the sight of Querbes? Could he not ask his pores to wait a bit further before releasing the salty liquid? How he do dat?
How'd he dodat? dont he have sweat like dat! What says he make do like dat?
dat dont do! Dat he dont control sweat like dat. He git funky balls sweat comin out of he ass, shhiiit! Da fuck up wit dat? uh?

Co2 is green...


Another proof that the internets will make you smart (or not):

Co2 is green

Warning: may contain traces of bullshit.

My neighbors


it's us again!

Today we need to write about important stuff.
Firstly of all, our neighbors.
We all noticed how here in the Northern parts of the American continent there seems to be a lot of alienated people. However, we don't believe we are any less alienated then they are.
Its just that we suffer from different kinds of alienation.

For example, we hate too much, and we must put a cap on that hatred or else we will fabricate ourselves a cancer of the stomach.
But the neighbors are dealing with a much severe mental alienation. You see, our neighbors filed a complaint to our landlord. They complained that we don't salute them when we pass them by. Isn't this wonderful? It's a beautiful world.

Secondly of all, I'd like to take a moment for you to enjoy this little story (it stars us in the role of us, its also in french, because we're french):

"Montréal, mercredi le vingt-et-un octobre au matin, huit heure trente environ, coin Saint-Urbain et Duluth.
Un troupeau de cyclistes qui regardent dans la même direction vers un autre cycliste couché devant une ambulance, en position latérale, entouré d'ambulanciers.
À côté du blessé, une mazda-trois blanche de l'année au pare-brise fracassé. À côté de la voiture, une grassouillette dans la début vingtaine, qui sourit.
C'est la conductrice du véhicule. Elle discute d'un air béat avec un policier et semble trouver la situation très drôle. Elle ne daigne même pas regarder sa victime.
Une envie de massacre que je réprime aussitôt me tord le visage et font se serrer mes dents.
Au lieu de courrir vers elle en hurlant, je reprends le guidon et rembarque sur le pédalier."

We'll have a cancer of the stomach with that, please.

On another subject,
in order for us to properly forget, or at least fabricate ourself an abstraction out of the reality of our surroundings, we should like to ask when would be the proper time to drink and/or play The Gäme. Our midterms exams will be finished by next thursday, so we should have plenty of time for the weekend to tear ourself a new hole in our liver.

Major Lazer

Major Lazer is a fictional cartoon character,[1] who (according to press releases) fought as a Jamaican commando who lost his arm in a secret zombie war in 1984.[2] He fights vampires and various monsters, parties hard, and has a rocket-powered hoverboard.

Hold the Line from the album "Guns Don't Kill People...Lazers Do

Thursday, October 22, 2009

so i've developed a fetish for bikes

not your kind of bikes. the kind of bike that makes my peepee tingle.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How's this for perspective?

I can't stop watching these.

Here's another one for good measure

"There's always a bigger fish"

i am fucking awesome! (in korea)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This will not stand.

A repugnant herd of fully retarded assholes/douche bags/child molesters/brain dead corpses/rapers and destroyers of the world are paying 400$ a piece, no less, to hear "you know who", right here, in Montreal. What kind of lowest grade moron even pays for this kind of shit? Is there any way to further demonstrate an absolute complete lack of self-respect?
I cannot believe there are people here, in my beloved Montreal, that are doing this.
Who are these people? It has to be the KKK. I don't see anyone else who would to this.
It can only be the KKK.

This aggression will not stand.

The hadrons, they are a collidin'

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Ok, maybe not what Dylan was talking about but hey, I love stories about hubris, folly and black holes. Plus if it does create a singularity time itself will be changing, literally.
Ah, time dilation, you are a cruel mistress.

In unrelated news I'd have to argue that this is complete bullshit.
Take 5 minutes to read comments left on youtube videos for proof that the internets do not, in fact attract or even encourage intelligence.

Also rockets. In space. October 27th.

Monday, October 19, 2009

I know I know

Another video game post. But this one I'm putting up here because I find the art design absolutely fantastic. So this is more hoity toity artiste bullshit than a full blown nerdism. I wish that sometimes game developers took more risks with their designs but I can't really expect mainstream developers to do that. This is why I feel the indie scene is so vital and is probably where the really cool shit will come from (similar to how indie movies gave a huge creativity boost to movies in general and pushed envelopes the big studios would have never touched).

Sunday, October 18, 2009

And of course...

Another fucking video game post...


There be an exhibit going on at the Old Port. It's all about pirates (and I don't mean the high-budget porn movie). Anyways, it looks cool and when I saw the poster, the first thing I thought was that it should have been held at the 19.

Oh well... I guess Musée Pointe-à-Callière will have to do. Here's the description of the exhibit: Yarrrrr!!!!

Who's in!?!?!?

View Larger Map

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Aurions pas fait ça d'Même moé

Dear Moc,
while I appreciate your nerditude, I should like to mention that if you're gonna post some L4D 2 gameplay over here in our beloved 19, instead of choosing the weird Generator in a Pool puzzle, shouldn't you be opting for the Dismembering Zombies With an Axe sweetness of the game?

Dear Herzog

While I appreciate your calls a 2:30 AM I should mention that the reason I wasn't wherever you seemed to be at 2:30 AM playing L4D is because nobody called or otherwise notified me about any such event.
However, if you have steam now I will be more than happy to bust some Zombie heads with you whenever you'd like. You can find my user ID by using my shitty email address ismokecrack@yahoo.com

Also I have my copy of L4D2 preordered and ready to go.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I'm never this bad....

in public..


- "Tijuana Taxi" by Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass or
- "Get up Stand Up" by Bob Marley

Worst Shopping Run Ever - Watch more Funny Videos

I am open to any other music suggestions.

Losing My Virginity

I'm going to see my first Metallica concert at 31 years old. Not only that, I'm going to see them in Ottawa.

I can't wait to see THAT crowd! Oh... and to all the suckers who saw them at the Centre Bell, I'll do my best to enjoy the sound for you.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Keeping with the metal theme

I had seen this documentary years ago and I just stumbled upon it today while taking a break.

Part 1 is here, you can follow it for the other parts. It's good for people like me who don't know enough about the genre.

Rocktober 13th

Today's the day.

As I was telling Spazzer, I thought maybe it would be quite nice if we all chipped in for a copy of the game and then we could only play it when everyone who paid is there and so we can summon the Metal Gods every last friday of the month or something.
What says you.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Lai Lai Hey!

So, I ended up grabbing 6 tickets to the Ensiferum show on december 3rd. I expect the usual suspects to be there and then some, so it should be quite the romp. I'm going to present the lineup to entice the tardy ones among you to show up at the very beginning, if not to enjoy it, at least to laugh at it's folly. I tried to get the most ridiculous pictures when I could. Here is the lineup:


Yes, another freakin' pirate band. The novelty of Alestorm quickly wore off for me and now there are these guys. Considered a drollesque pirate themed punk-metal band, my limited knowledge of them probably doesn't do them justice so I'll stop here.


Previously known as Profugus Mortis, this Montreal Folk Metal Band is an up and comer. But like many queb bands that flirt with the genre, they leave me kind of indifferent, even if they are very talented. It will still be interesting to see them live. And yes, their album cover is strangely similar to La Maudite.

Ex Deo

Formed by a history obsessed paisan from Kataclysm, a Montreal veteran band par excellence, it is Roman themed metal. Roman! It's tantalizing but almost too much.


Swedish melodic Death. This is the kind of band I will wish I had been a fan of before seeing the show to better appreciate the event. They've been around forever and I've heard the name countless times. I couldn't even find a ridiculous picture of them. And this video is actually well produced and everything. Damn!

And Finally...


It was a blast last time. With their new album being what it is, I expect an ample amount of rejoicing.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


I'm puzzled as to why it starts off with Kid Icarus music and includes Super Mario sound effects but whatever, them shits be rocking:

You mask ask yourself why I posted this instead of putting the finishing touches on a menu or a feature that I'm responsible for implementing over at EA but that's because you're an asshole.

Does anybody feel lonely?

I've decided to have a gathering at my place on Friday evening. Want some Candy?

All are welcome. Also, to my knowledge, we all have things to do the next day. This obviously means that we will be even less responsible / have a better time.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Soleil dans la nuit.

À remarquer les mimes de coup de fouet lors du refrain:

Les Voitures, nos amies

Du plus petit véhicule au plus gros, ne pas être capable de transporter une personne sans l'encombrer de plusieurs centaines de kilos de ferraille et de plastique, qu'il faudra mouvoir et freiner, reste un mystère de la stupidité fondamentale que génère l'idéologie de ce type de transport, et de la faiblesse mentale de tous ceux qui s'en occupent depuis plus de cent ans. Voir texte : Les boîtes de tôles à moteur, par Denis Cheynet. Lire L'hommauto, de Bernard Charbonneau, publié il y a déjà 40 ans.

Il faut d'abord accepter le caractère aliénant, inéquitable et insoutenable, cruel et massacreur de vies, destructeur de socialisation et de sens qu'est l'automobile individuelle pour oser s'en extraire, prendre un vélo et marcher à pied le long des rues et des routes.



Check it

New section with paintings from the show.


Monday, October 5, 2009

Best Season of all times

aahhhh... Isnt fall wonderful... wow... every day is the best during this season, especially this year.
There's something about fall that gets my mojo going.
Beautiful colors everywhere, nice dark misty nights, the bike rides are superb, less fat people on the streets because its cold and less comfortable... and the city just seems quieter during fall.
And then there's halloween. Any of you doing something worth mentioning?

I can't get a good idea for a costume... ah well, there's always the old ghost in the sheet trick, its a classic.