Ha ... ha ... ha.

Guys. GUYS. It seems we have been at least 13 kinds of stupid dead wrong about Dr. Ben Carson's hot takes on U.S. America. Sure, he says things that we dummy lefties might consider questionable or inflammatory or inaccurate or just plain HUH? Like that time he said Obamacare is the worst thing to happen to our country since slavery. Or how he more recently said Muslims can't be president unless they swear on the Bible to renounce Muslimery. Or how he said even more recently that we're this close to becoming Nazi Germany unless we -- well, he wasn't entirely clear about that, but something.

Fortunately, the good doctor had his turn getting fluffed on “The View” to set us straight about all that. And when Whoopi Goldberg asked him to please explain himself and his controversial comments, like "Hitler Nazi Germany could happen here," he made it all make perfect sense.


“That's not what I said,” he told her. “That's the spin.” And now, damnit, we have to interrupt ourselves to go back and look at what he said:

“I’ve talked in the past about how the people in Nazi Germany did not agree with Hitler. A lot of them didn’t. But did they stand up? Did they say anything? No, they kept their mouths shut and look at the atrocities that occurred,” Carson said, speaking at Berean Baptist Church in North Carolina on Wednesday. "And some people think something like that can’t happen here but think again. Look at the world and all those examples of tyranny, it can happen here.”

He continued: “I mean if people don’t speak up for what they believe, then other people will change things without them having a voice. That’s what I mean. That’s what facilitated [Hitler’s] rise."

Oh yeah, that's totally different. It's not that Nazi Germany could happen here, it's just that if we don't stand up and say "Stop doing atrocities to us, OBAMA," well dot dot dot, you know. Not saying the president is Hitler, per se, just that people are wrong if they think Nazi Germany can't happen here. In Ben Carson's history book, it says no one in Germany (or Poland or France or the rest of Europe) was actually down with Hitler's struggle against the Jewishes, but they just never said anything, darn it and oh well. That's how it actually happened. Better speak our minds right quick, before President Obama rounds us up, puts us on Amtrak, and ships us off to FEMA labor camps to be genocided in EPA-approved solar-powered ovens.

But look. Even if Carson did talk about how Nazi Germany could happen here -- and you know he did because we just showed you, like, a second ago, how that's what he said -- he had a real good reason for it.

Now, what I was saying about the Hitler comment, and I purposely said that because I knew the left-wing would go crazy — “He said Hitler!” — what I said was, most of the people in Nazi Germany did not believe in what Hitler was doing. But did they speak up? No. They kept their mouths shut. And when you do that, you are compromising your freedom, and the freedom of people who come behind you. You have to be willing to stand up for what you believe in.

Ah! Thanks for the clarification, doc. Making casual comparisons to Nazi Germany is perfectly A-OK reasonable if you're doing it purposely to make the left-wing go crazy! Only some politically correct pussy could possibly take offense. Probably the same kind of pussy who would just stand there, letting himself get murdered to death during a mass shooting, instead of sacking up like a Real Man and refusing to get killed. Unless Carson only said that to make the lefties mad too? Either way, HI-larious! And antagonizing your fellow Americans to make them go crazy is also fuckin' presidential as fuck, yo.

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Maybe when you are in the Oval Office, talking to other world leaders like Putin or whoever, you can say some crazy words just to make him go crazy, hahahah, good times!  Perhaps you could even crack some funnies about how you have outlawed Russia and will begin bombing in five minutes. But nah, that would probably be too much.

[TPM / ABC News]



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