Friday, December 13, 2013

Five hurdles gifted college students must overcome




1. What if I make the wrong decision?



2. What if I’m not the best?



3. What if I fail?


4. What study skills?



5. Where do I belong?






  1. This article states the exact concerns I have that are prompting me to consider making a schooling choice for my two children. They have been coasting and bored in school from the beginning and are now in 3rd and 4th grade. We recently had them tested to see if they qualify for a gifted school in another school district. They both qualified and were accepted into the program. Now we have to decide if moving them is the right decision. We love our local school district, but it is just not geared to meet the needs of my children. I worry that if they continue in our district they will coast now through high school and not be able to handle the rigor of college. If I move them now, my hope would be that they learn at their pace and also how to deal with pressure and failure and success at an early age and it would not be such a big adjustment when it came to college. One child is excited to go, my younger one is worried about losing his friends. We are not moving out of our small town and they will continue to participate in other activities with their friends. Where does a parent draw the line at risking their social nurturing for their education and help them long term?

    1. Sending your child to a new school is always a hard decision. Most families discover that even though it can be difficult at first, children thrive in a more stimulating environment, AND find it supportive to be with a group a like-minded peers. Good luck with your decision.


  2. Your question is a very familiar one to me. I agonized over what was best for my child too. After raising three children in different states, I now see that I should have moved them when I realized they would require more than an a basic education. Especially when I fully realized that their needs would not be met. I kept assuming that with each grade things would improve and new opportunities would be offered, a more challenging education was on the way. I mistakenly was lead to believe high school would be the answer. I can't tell you how often I was told that in high school their needs would be met. Even though I thought it a waste of time to hope for the future instead of improving the present, this is what I accepted for my child. I was wrong. I really did not realize until middle school that my child would never get the education they deserved and so badly needed. No matter how many opportunities we attended after school or during the summer, they still needed more during their school day. Regardless of what the legislature has printed on paper about educating our students to their potential or abilities, this is not true and probably never will be in the state of Texas. Upon a visit to my son's 8th grade counselor's office I was informed, after pleading for a more challenging education or school opportunity, that what I saw is all that they offer. I was dumbfounded, but realized it was the truth. This is what it had always been and would always be. No more no less. My child would never be given an education that challenged him in the north Texas public system we attended. If my child needed more that, it would be up to us as parents and any opportunities we could find "outside" of school. I learned at this meeting that our educational system has a basic job, to provide a "basic" education to its students. A statndard is set and that is all that is attained or taught by the system. Our public school system was never entended to teach children to their potential or ability. They do not have the money, time or resources to do so. That is not their mission. Why this came as such a shock I do not know. It was simple to see and understand now, Finally everything made since. I only wished someone had actually explained this to me at the first sign that my child would need, or require a more challenging education than the "basic" child. I don't know why I did not realize this. I assumed the system would offer my child what they needed and required. I assumed wrong. So I would say to any parent asking the question that the above post contained , to make a change if not now ,but by the end of elementary school if you see that your child will require "more'". Especially if your child is a gifted learner. A child's overall happiness is involved in a very large part on what type of education they receive. To continue to sit, wait, run errands, help others, read more, takes a toll year after year, after year. Learning, not enduring years of boredom allow a child to grow and prosper. Make the move to better educate your child. Seek out a more challenging environment with like minded peers. Seek out the environment that will encourage your child to prosper and grow to their ability or potential. An environment that will enciourage your child to grow rather than stiffel their desire to learn. This potential will not occur in a Texas, "basic" public school system.

    1. Anonymous,

      Thank you for your very open and meaningful comment about your difficult experience with the public school system. Hindsight is always enlightening, but it sounds like you made the best possible decisions with what you knew at the time when your children were young. And some public schools rise to meet the needs of gifted children to some degree. It's just hard to know if and when a particular school will meet your particular child's needs. I hope your adult children have found a meaningful path for themselves.


  3. Your article states the challenges of a gifted college student well, but how does a parent help? "Support," "they will grow," and "offer counseling" are a bit nebulous for a parent dealing with an exhausted kid overwhelmed by work for the first time in his life. Do you know of any literature that offers specific advice for supporting college-age gifted students as they meet real challenges for the first time? This feels like a much more vulnerable time for my son than K-12, but everything I'm finding online is for parents of younger students.

    1. Sorry your child is having difficulty with the transition. There are a lot of self-help books out there, and I am not an expert on which ones might be helpful for you. I imagine that you could try: or or If your child is really struggling, though, consider a referral to the counseling center at college. Good luck.

  4. Many colleges and universities have Honors Programs that may be a good fit for gifted students. The Honors Programs generally have a higher level of learning with selected professors who delight in the challenging student. I also encourage students to connect with as many professors and mentors as they can. Having a mentor is extremely helpful and can help a student find appropriate classes, interesting opportunities and even meaningful jobs.