John Carter ★★★

To my surprise, I actually enjoyed John Carter. I don't know whether it was the Disney logo at the top of the Blu-Ray case, or the critical indifference that gave me bad vibes prior to watching the movie, but none of that really matters now. This film is not one to be judged by its cover; no matter how crammed with flimsy CGI it happens to be. The 2 hour and 12 minute runtime allows for enough shark-jumping and plot-twisting that, by the final 10 minutes, the Shamyalan-ish finale seems the only fitting end to Carter's labyrinthine, if sometimes overworked, plot.