When Nature Falls

Story Sent in by Taran:

Out at dinner with Liz on a rainy evening, she wouldn't touch the complimentary water. "Do you know what's in restaurant water?" she asked. I had to admit that I didn't. She supplied the answer: "Roach waste."

If that was true, then I'd assume that I'd be sick as a dog within minutes. But I didn't think it was true, so I continued to drink down my possibly waste-soaked water. It was delicious.

Liz said, "Excuse me," then went outside with her umbrella. I didn't see where she went or what she did.

She was gone until just before our food came. She returned and told me, "I drank some rainwater. It's right from nature. I perfected a technique to drink it without getting anything other than my chin a bit wet."

"So you just went outside, tilted your head up, and opened your mouth for the past 10 minutes? Wouldn't bottled water be easier?"

She grimaced. "With all those plastic byproducts? Rainwater's the only thing I drink."

I thought for a sec, then asked her, "What do you drink when it doesn't rain?"

She said, "I collect rainwater whenever it rains, so I have a full stock of it back at home."

I asked, "So why didn't you bring some here in a canteen or something, instead of running outside to... drink?"

Her eyes grew wide and she said, "That's a good idea. I'll look into it."

She went outside for one more "drink" after our food came, but that was it. I thought about mentioning to her that the water used to prepare her dinner was likely not rainwater at all, but I held my tongue.

The rain had tapered off a bit by the time we left, and we took a walk to a nearby dock. She paused every now and then to stick her head out from under her umbrella, chin-first, to catch some rain. She even rolled her eyes back a bit when she did it. It became a bit funnier when I imagined that she was just looking at the sky in wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock.

We made out at bit at the dock, but the image of her mouth wide open at the sky was just too funny and too weird (and it seemed too big a part of her life) for me to really see a future with her.


  1. Sounds like you're a bit selective about what a lady opens her mouth about, eh?

  2. So, restaurant water is less sanitary than sticking her tongue down some other person's mouth, eh? I can't believe the risk she's taking, in the age of cooties, nonetheless...

  3. That sounds like one of them new-fangled computy games; WORLD OF WARFARE: The Age of Cooties.

  4. Does his date not realize that rain water, when in the upper atmosphere, collects polluants which are then part of the rainfall? Anyone hear of acid rain? Total lack of intelligence there....

  5. PURITY OF ESSENCE!!1!eleven!

  6. I wonder where his date was drinking from cause if she was drinking from the rain falling off the roof of the resturant than she would have drank dirt

  7. She was being a lady and subtly indicating that if Taran played his cards right a Sicilian Feast, maybe even a Grim Reaper, were options. Seems Taran doesn't even know what cards are, denying us all a far more awesome story. Thanks Taran.

  8. Wouldn't drinking out of a canteen violate her no-containers rule? Jeez, think before you talk man!




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