Guest Post: The Answer

1,2,3,4 - Plain White Tees, Picture from here.

1,2,3,4 – Plain White Tees, Picture from here.

People seek to solve problems. Big problems, small problems, it doesn’t matter. We define ourselves and what we’re capable of based on our solutions.

The ever-repetitive problem is simple for the young adult: what is love, and who do we love?

The answer to the first question isn’t hard, but it certainly differs for each person. Some are romantics. Others are cynics. I believe that love is neither. Love is not flowers on the first date and a kiss on the third. Love is also not a cruel monster that only breaks hearts and leaves people out to dry. Rather, love takes form in second chances and personal sacrifice. It’s the willingness to take him/her back after a fight. It’s the decision to apologize first and put your dignity on the line. It’s the permission to let the love of your life go because someone else will make him/her happier than you ever could.

Then there’s the question of who we love. Unfortunately, only you can decide that.

Some of us already have an answer. They are in relationships, and maybe married. Answers change over time, but for now, they know what they want out of love. Others have no answer.  They don’t really care for love, and are content being single.
But it’s the third group of people that fits the majority: those that know the answer, but the answer doesn’t know them.

There are lots of names for it: the friendzone, the nice guy/girl, whatever. They know exactly who they want to give their love to, but the line’s never open. Someone or something keeps getting in the way. Almost every time, it’s their own fear of rejection. All they can ever do is talk about it to their closest friends, but they never take the action. And for good reason, too; love is something no one wants to just give away. We are born prideful, believing that to fail at anything, even something that should go beyond shallow judgement like love, is unacceptable.

But it’s not like you have much to lose, right?
I’ve become convinced that if you really love someone, you’re willling to put your ego on the line to get it. People were born selfish; if they really want something, they will do what they can to obtain it. So this one’s for all of you that want their answers to know them. The ones that so deeply fear that professing your love will make things “awkward”. The ones that play it safe because they can’t take a rejection.
Just tell him. Just tell her.
The only thing you have to lose is your damn ego.


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  3. ghazmat

    Why do people not give this post higher rating with the stars? I think its very good especially for someone so young to be comtemplating topics that are quite serious for such a young person. Is there someone that you need courage to speak to about your love? If there is someone then I hope he will be kind to you whatever is his feelings because when somebody loves you that is always an honour and we should be grateful. I think this is a very nice post. I gave 5 stars.


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