Should we baptize our baby even though we're not religious?

My boyfriend, a nonpracticing Catholic, wants our son to be baptized. I'm an atheist, and I want my son to choose his own beliefs when he's old enough. In my opinion, baptizing our son would be a hollow gesture -- we aren't raising him with religion and we never go to church. Should I let him be baptized anyway?
a BabyCenter member
Asked 12/29/03
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Mom Answers (451)
I was baptized and truly raised Catholic (Saturday bible school, confirmed, had to go to church every week so long as I lived with my parents, etc.). My husband was baptized Catholic, however he was not raised Catholic. Neither of us are followers of any religion. Although I appreciate how my parents raised me, because I wouldn't be who and where I am today without it, I also find that it caused a lot of confusion. When you are raised in a religion and then later develop your own thoughts and beliefs that contradict that religion, it can be very confusing because deep down you still have that little voice (from everyone that has guided you in that religion) that makes you question if it is ok to not follow that religion anymore. So I am definitely a believer in letting it be the child?s decision as to what religion he/she believes in. However, I know that it can be hard to ?stick to your guns? when you have family putting in their 2 cents. When we were planning the wedding, I caved in to my parents and was married in the Church. Now that I'm pregnant (with the 1st grandchild on both sides) I know that they will try to get us to baptize our baby. Even my mother-in-law, who isn't a "practicing" Catholic, expects a Baptism. The truth of the matter is, your parents raised their children. It is time for you to raise yours. In baptizing your child, you are making a promise to the Church that you will raise your child in that faith. If that is not your intention, then you should not do it. If you are not loyal to the Church or the faith, why promise your child into it? It would be a lie. I personally feel that even though we will not have our baby baptized and won?t raise it in a specific faith; it doesn?t mean that our child will have an empty life. We will still raise our son to be a good person. You don?t need to be labeled a certain faith to learn to be a moral and virtuous human being. In conclusion, the decision is ultimately yours. You and your husband should do what feels right to you, not everyone else. I know it?s easier said than done; now that I?m 28 weeks, I?m just waiting for the ?intervention? from my family. Best of luck to the both of us :o)
52 found this helpful
Based on my knowledge of the Bible I believe you should not baptize your child. Baptism is a way of showing others you've made the decision to walk with Christ. Having your child baptized as a baby will not save him and will not guarantee eternal life in Heaven. Baptism is a choice that should be made only by the person who is being baptized. If you and your husband want your child to have a relationship with God and have eternal life through Him you must live a lifestyle that shows you believe in Him as well. Your child will learn from you. My son is 7 mths old and we had a baby dedication ceremony for him 3 mths ago. In this ceremony the child is not baptized. The parents are simply asked to take an oath or vow to teach their child about God and raise him/her in a christian lifestyle. Your child is still left with the decision to believe or not to believe and they still have the choice to accept Christ and follow him in believer's baptism or not. Ultimately the decision should be left up to your child. I wish all of you the best and may God bless you. In Christ,
37 found this helpful
I am an atheist and my husband is a non practicing catholic. I had never thought about baptising our daughter, but our families were so excited and enthusiastic about it that we ended up doing it. It may sound hypocrite to some, but it made our families happy, and it was an excuse to get together and celebrate. I don't see anything wrong with that...
Answered 8/21/07
35 found this helpful
I was in the same situation. We are both from catholic families, but do not go to church. My family and his pressured us to have our daughter babtized, but we chose not to. I saw it as hypocritical to baptize her if we didn't go to church. Also, the church will not let you do so unless you join and take the classes, and the godparents must be catholics as well.
Answered 1/6/04
34 found this helpful
Instead of a baptism or religious ceremony, why not have a blessing ceremony or ritual? I've been doing some research online, and there are many meaningful ways to celebrate the birth of a child aside from a religious ceremony you do not believe in. This way the ceremony won't feel "hollow" to you. Ignore those who say you're doing your child harm by not exposing him/her to religion. Feel proud that your child will grow up exposed to many philosophies and ideas and will be more open-minded because of it.
Answered 6/24/06
31 found this helpful
My husband and I went through a similar situation. He is Roman Catholic and I'm a Quaker (they don't believe in baptism). His church refused to baptize our child unless I was a comfirmed catholic and I'm not. After researching into it a little more my husband also decided that baptism was a bad choice for us. Our reasons? 1) No where in the bible is infant baptism ever mentioned. It only mentions the baptism of believers. 2) If you baptize your child in the catholic church then your child is automatically branded catholic whether they want to be later or not. (My father baptized me catholic and I hated him for it. The only way I got away from the church was to openly contest my baptism in the church, which didn't go over well) 3) Catholic creed says that in order to get into heaven you HAVE to be baptized. We didn't want our child to think that God only loved certain people 4)It went VERY much against my religion (Quakers are practically the exact opposite of catholic) 5) My husband and I both decided to share all kinds of religions with our child rather than just one (He was raised purely catholic and his mother didn't give him the choice of religion. Because of all that he has been taught he only stays catholic because he thinks he is damned to hell if he leaves the church) 6) We had a family member (who was Roman Catholic) tell us that our daughter was damned to pergatory because we didn't care enough about her to baptize her. (We personaly believe that if an infant cannot get into heaven as pure as God made them than there is no hope for the rest of us; so whats the point anyway?) 7)The catholic creed says that everyone is born with "original sin" and that is why they baptize infants. To purify that sin. However, the bible says that no child will carry the sins of their ancestors and no parent will carry the sins of their children. So in our opinion "original sin" is null and void. I just want to point out again that these were the reasons that WE didn't baptize our daughter. I'm not saying you should or you shouldn't and I'm not trying to tear down the catholic church. I will say that I very much disagree with the way the church does things but I am not out to destroy it. Many good people come from the church and bad people do too. That is the same with my church. Nixon was a Quaker so what does that say about us, right? :) I just thought you might want to know a diff. point of view and the reasons why. I'm sorry if I offened anyone, that was not my intention. Whether you are in the catholic church, atheist, or any other religion I admire you for believing and having faith in something.
29 found this helpful
My husband and I had a similar decision to make with our son. Both of us were non-practicing catholics and from catholic families. We wanted to raise our son with some religion or spirtuality, but had many questions about the catholic religion. I just assumed that we would baptise him and force ourselves to go to church until he was old enough to make his own decision. Luckily, my husband found a Unitarian Church that fit us and what we wanted for our son. It is a very liberal community and has a great religious education program that will teach our son about all different religions. I look forward to services and it has sparked some interesting conversations between my husband and I. It took our families a little while to get use to the idea that we weren't catholic anymore, but they learned to accept it. We had a beautiful baby dedication for our son a few weeks ago. If you want to check out the Unitarian website it's This works for us because we wanted our son to be able to come to his own decision about religion and we felt this was the best tool for him to be able to make that decision. Long story short, I'm glad we didn't baptize our son in a catholic church, because I don't agree with the reason for a baptisim ceremony. I wish you luck with your decision. Any decision you make isn't a final one. Just because he is baptised doesn't mean he has to be catholic and just because he isn't baptised doesn't mean he can't be in the future.
Answered 1/6/04
24 found this helpful
I would NOT have him baptized because part of the process involves YOU as the PARENT agreeing to raise the child in the Church. If you want to look towards more of a christening or something, I'd go that route, but for the actual Catholic Baptism, it's more than just a little water pouring and a candle lighting. It's a lifelong commitment between the parents and Godparents to raise this child in the Catholic Church.
Answered 9/1/07
22 found this helpful
I am having the same problem, but my husband just wants to do it to shut his family up. Neither my husband or I attend church. So I feel let my child decide on his own.
Answered 5/21/07
18 found this helpful
I wholeheartedly agree with JP from Ohio. How can your son/daughter make a decision on such an important choice when there will be nothing presented or taught to him/her on the subject? I think Baptism is a gift to the them the open door to explore and question when they get older. It is a huge part of the basics.
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Answered 5/31/06
9 found this helpful

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