

The confident girl’s guide to being assertive at work

No we’re not bossy, we just know what we want and we’re not afraid to say so.
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It’s been over a year since Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg encouraged us to ban bossy. Since then we’ve been wracking our brains about how to appear confident and assertive, while at the same time being the best we can be.

Introducing Suzanne and Conrad Potts authors of How to be Confident and Assertive at Work. Also known as our guide to being our better work selves. Step one, how to be more confident and assertive at work.

Self Talk

‘You are not a prisoner of your own unconscious negative thoughts,’ explain Suzanne and Conrad. ‘The first thing you need to do to regain control is to bring the negative thoughts to your conscious attention.’

Try reframing your self-talk. Instead of thinking negatively about why you’re in a meeting, empower yourself by thinking of the knowledge that you have that others don’t.

Saying “no”

Ah, the holy grail of the working world. Learning to say no, and say it without any aggression or guilt is a skill, but knowing when to say it and the implications it has shouldn’t be overlooked.

Take the question of ‘rights’ as an example: do you have the right to say ‘no’ in a situation? If yes, Suzanne and Conrad believe it’s all about the ‘no sandwich.’

1. Acknowledge the request.

2. Say no, and give the real reason.

3. Offer a win:win situation with what you’re prepared to do now, and in future to help solve this problem.

Manage your boss

Even if your boss is the nicest person in the world and a natural-born leader, the chances are you, at some stage, need to manage upwards.

‘No amount of technique will bolster a flagging relationship,’ explain Suzanne and Conrad. ‘You need to build the goodwill between the two of you over weeks and months.’

Think about the following cues:

1. Visualise how you want the relationship to be.

2. Consider your beliefs and be honest about them. It’s ok to make mistakes, and not to know the answers to every question.

3. Understand the rights of you and your boss. What’s unreasonable and what’s within your (and their) remit?

4. Think non-verbal. Besides what you say, how can the things you do be interpreted?

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