Conflicts Around Household Tasks


It is with some humor that I say that a very sensitive area of conflict for many couples is driving.  Most commonly, the conflict centers around the poor driving habits of an ADHD spouse (and why they can't/won't change them) and who is going to drive when.  There is more here than meets the eye, though, so I thought I would explore it a bit.  If you have conflicts over driving, read on!

It’s awful to feel as if you are the only one who is doing chores around your household – not to mention exhausting. Here are some ideas for redistributing the housework from my own experience.

Are you angry that your ADD spouse is able to focus on something of great interest to him, and not to anything you want him to do (like the dishes, or childcare)? If so, you would not be alone.

We received this question from a reader:

"How can an ADHD affected spouse get a job and hold it to earn a living if he cannot find his keys/wallet/cellphone etc? How can a spouse NOT be tired out by repeated same scenarios of disorder and chaos repeatedly discussed and never changing?"

These are questions that cut to the heart of the long-term ADHD relationship.  I would like to address the non-ADHD spouse first, then circle back to the ADHD spouse.



When ADHD is in the marital mix, it can be a real challenge to get household chores done without one or the other feeling exasperated, angry or shamed. Here are my top 10 tips for organizing your home when one (or both!) partner has ADHD:

Two people have commented that they are in couples where both spouses have ADHD and that they find this very difficult.  I would like to address this a bit here...

I know no one who loves household chores, but if you have ADHD the chores can move from drudgery to an impossibility. Here's why it's hard for both spouses and what you can do about it: