What is that Stench???

Saturday, October 15, 2005

It's raining, and raining and raining.

Our septic system is flooded and is now forming a large, ominous puddle next to our house. This smells like just what you would assume a flooded septic tank filled with the composting poop of yourself and all your loved ones to smell like. Unholy.

I have candles burning in every room of the house to combat the eye watering aroma.

I have a fairly humorous vision in my head of the septic tank collapsing in on itself and taking the whole town I live in with it - kind of like Keanu Reeves being sucked into hell in "Constantine"

When I don't show up to work on Monday, People I work with would nod their heads sagely and talk about the tragic septic tank incident.

"Ah, the tank got her."
"Yeah, you gotta keep a close eye on those septic tanks. All hell breaks loose when they go bad."

If CNN cuts to the New England floods, and there is a "septic tank" story - you'll know who it is.

1 Baleful Regards:

Anonymous said...

word on the street is that the sun is to make an appearance sunday. B/n NH & NJ w/ all this rain, you guys did get then uh, "raw deal" as it were.
admittedly, I have a few unfinished jokes in my head re: this post. I dunno, something about one's shit not stinking, or being up a some creek. or brown being the new... brown.
It's 1 a.m. what do you want from me, woman??
Here's to some sunshine and strong perfume!

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