Tuesday, October 15, 2013


It's no secret that Trick-or- Treating began long before we did it here in America. Without teaching a lesson in the history of trick- or- treating, keeping it short, it was known as souling or guising and people traditionally went door to door asking for money, bread, cheese, butter, eggs, etc. Some history has to with soul cakes and fairies, and some has to do with the exchange for work. Either way- America got a hold of it and stepped it up.

In America, we no longer go door to door and expect money- we call that a Welfare check and we do not have to go anywhere to get it, except for an occasional meeting to be reviewed and basically... mostly be judged and humiliated by people who have enough money to provide for their families - then we get a check in the mail or as I've heard from it's recipients, is now received on a debit card. 

We do not ask for dairy products door to door- we fixed that, too- we have what is known as WIC. WIC is to make certain that pregnant women, infants and children receive the proper amount of dairy and healthy foods during pregnancy and post pregnancy for a certain period of time. 

Both of these programs have their ups and downs and I really have no issue with either one of them. Just because some people take advantage of a system doesn't mean that everyone should be punished or ridiculed and made to suffer when they truly need help. Just like your neighbor doesn't go to jail for tax evasion if you don't file your taxes.

My problem with the whole thing is that I believe the trick-or-treating system in America has failed. It, too, with all of the other programs in trouble right now, needs revamping. For instance, I would like to go door to door this Halloween to get my eggs, cheese, bread, butter and milk. I will dress up if you feel it's important, but I think you should carry my groceries to my car for me, because I'll likely be wearing heels in order to slut it up a bit in hopes of getting name brand products.

I also don't think it would be out of the way for me to go tricking for money, maybe the day after, because let's face it- I'm going to be exhausted after grocery shopping. I also don't recall ever actually tricking someone, or seeing someone tricked who refused to give a treat. I think we need to get a grasp on the term "trick-OR-treat" with emphasis on the "or" and utilize it more often. Somehow in America ,we have taken a tradition that clearly states it's intentions of tricking the hell out of someone who does not participate, and let them off the hook by simply turning off their porch light. Instead- we obediently march only to doors who welcome us and then trick the very people who have done nothing to us. I'm just curious to know what the hell would happen if I grabbed the nose and honked or pulled a quarter from behind the ear of someone who didn't give me a treat on Halloween after I asked for one. 

The entire week of Halloween, we are throwing eggs at people who have to rely  on WIC in order to get enough eggs, and we are wasting very expensive toilet paper to roll houses and cars. From now on, I think we should just use old magazines and newspapers that are stacked up around the house because we don't want to just throw them away- yet we have no idea what to do with them.  This of course would take a lot more time and effort, and eventually, the tradition of rolling would cease. I'm not sure who these kids think they're fooling anyway. I do not know a single teenager who does the toilet paper shopping for the household, and when I see a teen buying such products, just know- I've got my eye on you. 

And lastly- my four lb. dog trick- or- treats every single day. At least twice a day he does a trick,sits, like that's so hard to do, and I give him a treat- he accepts it, takes a leak outside, and lays back down on a pillow and sleeps. Any awake time is spent begging me for another treat. He's really working it. In the event that I do not give him a treat, he accepts my response, pisses in my shoe and pouts. Now the joke is on me and I put two and two together- either our dogs are truly running this country, or at the very least, they are it's true creators- and the only ones who truly understand  Halloween. Now head on over to the column on your right and vote in the trick-or-treating poll!

Enjoy, Barrelassers :)

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