DC Trawler

How Many Americans Own Guns We Need To Grab?

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I’ve got good news and bad news, gun-grabbers. Which one do you want first?

Bad news it is, then. Maggie Fox, NBC News:

A new study aimed at figuring out who owns gun in the United States and why suggests that about a third of Americans have at least one.

Oh, no. A third of Americans? Thirty-three percent? One out of three? That’s a heck of a lot of people who know what the Second Amendment is. That can’t be good.

But this part is:

Most are white males over the age of 55, and a “gun culture” is closely linked with ownership, the team at Columbia University reports.

Old white males. Whew! Well, that should make things a lot easier. Old white males are the bad guys by default*, so demonizing them should be a snap. Just start a media campaign convincing everyone that gun owners are all racists who need substitutes for their tiny, flaccid penises, and then shame everybody who dares to stand up for themselves. When they bring up facts and evidence and crap like that, just sneer at them until they shut up. It works for pretty much every other issue in 2015.

Go ahead and complain, #OldWhiteMales. You don’t matter. You’re obsolete. There’s nothing less cool than you.

Welcome to Utopia.

*Unless, of course, they vote Democrat.