Am I Being Unreasonable?

SIL party

My SIL is having a kids party for her little one on Saturday at 12. My two children have an nap after their dinner which is around 12-2ish. I have said I can attend the party after their nap but my SIL is telling me I should bring them before 12so that they can be distracted and won’t need their nap. Aibu to tell her no? My youngest is a very poor sleeper and she’s 2, losing her nap means she is a lot more disruptive through the night. I have struggled a lot with this and I don’t think I should be pressured into taking them. She’s the type of person who will get huffy about it even though I’d be the one to deal with it. Aibu!

comments (131)

  • Sorry don’t mean to drip feed just realised that I didn’t put this part in, I am open to going a bit earlier but just for an hour. So 12-1 max. But she wouldn’t be happy with that she would want me there for the whole thing. Going after 2 would just mean I don’t need to clock watch
  • Icantdothisformuchmo said:
    Sorry don’t mean to drip feed just realised that I didn’t put this par…
    Why can’t you just go at 12 and see how it goes? Rather than put a time limit on yourself just say to her you’ll stay until they get too crabby or you’ll have to put them down in one of her rooms to nap.
  • YABU, it's one party (her cousin too, not just anyone) and one night. I don't understand people who let their kids nap times rule their whole lives. Baffling.
  • YABU, it’s a one off. You’re going to have to step away from routine every now and then. Let them have a nap in her kids room, their cousins after all. You will never be able to do anything with yourself if you want to always stick with routine.
  • _Oshun said:
    Maybe you’ve never had a shit sleeper then? My ds has still never slept through the night at nearly 3 he wakes at least twice sometimes 3-4 times. We have to be very consistent in his routine to not have a terrible night ahead, tonight he’s already woken up half an hour ago and stripped himself naked, his nap got messed up earlier by my mum taking him to a new playgroup this morning and he fell asleep too early on the way home in the car then thought he’d had his nap so wouldn’t sleep at normal nap time and crashed out over his dinner. Then I woke him and he had the mother of all tantrums and took about 2 hours to eventually go to sleep at bedtime. This disruption will probably continue into tomorrow night as he won’t wake up normal time in the morning now so the cycle continues! Disturbing a routine is just not worth it, id stick to my guns if I were you OP, sleep is precious!
  • I would never miss a party for sake of sleep!!! But up to you really, cant see why its a big deal for anyone else - if thats your routine and you cant do 12-2 m, you cant do it. Can you go and your oh can bring kids when they wake up? (Or your oh go) you can try and get them down early? Kids do what kids do... if yours nap they nap... no need for anyone to get upset.
  • Yabu the kids will love it and probably sleep better after all the excitement. You seem way over the top
  • I would go and just let them have a nap on the way home, for a shorter time. Though I wouldn’t be allowing naps at all if they weren’t sleeping at night. Do you have to be in the house at that time every day? So can’t ever go for a day out?
  • Wingin_it said:
    We plan days out so that my ds can nap at his normal time, so if there’s a drive I’ll do it at his nap time, and if I have to sit in the car with him until the end of nap time, so be it. We’re not routine people, we never did any real routine with my dd but she slept through at 15 months, so we didn’t need to. Then ds came along and is such a terrible sleeper that having a strict routine is necessary just to get any sleep at all, he’s still awful at nearly 3.
  • How about trying to give the children a nap a bit earlier instead - say 11 till 1 pm then go to the party afterwards. That way you're not too late and get the best of both worlds x