Unshelved by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum
comic strip overdue media

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Ah. Home. Warm. Goody.

It's a little after 2am and I just got home. After I picked a friend up from work I decided that my paycheque was going to hit the bank and that it might be best to come home with pet food. The cats have been eating from my backup stash of canned food, which has made them happy but Buns in particular does best with the Cat Chow Indoor Formula. Anything else seems to make his allergies worse. And I went ahead and got a giant bag of Beneful for Cerys.

I also picked up a couple of gifts, which I won't describe here because the recipients may read this. They were inexpensive but I think the giftees will enjoy them. This is a year for practical gifts, I will say. I need to get some candles tomorrow at the little dollar shop for one more person. I drove by earlier to see what their hours will be tomorrow and they'd closed due to a family illness. I hope they're open tomorrow, but I understand if they can't be. These are really nice coffee-scented candles. This place, Superdollar, has a very nice selection and it isn't, well, as cheap-looking as most of the crammed-to-the-rafters-everything-for-$1 places.

I was starting to get a little grumpy whilst out but coming home and getting something to eat took the edge off. Note to those of you who may deal with hypoglycaemics at one time or other: if a person's blood sugar starts to drop, they tend to be cranky to downright combative. Food will generally take care of this within just a few minutes, and once back in their right mind, people will go, 'gee, why was I being such an ass?' I will say that I've kept my cool through crowds, traffic, and have been very supportive and nice of cashiers. The U-Scan at Kroger's did get me though. The one at Richmond Road has various hoops you have to jump through that Euclid doesn't. At Euclid you can put a large item back into the cart, no problem, and no 'hit the yellow rectangle' with each item, which I think help provides a count and demagnetises security strips but is otherwise a nuisance. (On the other hand, the Euclid Avenue store doesn't have as wide a selection. Since I was scanning something that wasn't so much large as bulky, trying to hit the rectangle with the corner of (mind you, an open) box without scanning it again, etc., I put it down a little too abruptly and the cashier seemed to think I was all bent out of shape. I assured her that I wasn't upset, particularly with her, that it was just heavy and unwieldy and frankly I was up past my bedtime. Sigh.

But let me just say, overall, it's been a very good day. It started out a little shaky. There's a woman at work who tends to be a little needy of the spotlight, dismissive if you're talking about something she doesn't care about, and downright insistent that she's right even when she's wrong, without letting it go. Now, I understand the emotional need to do that, and I also understand that the reason it drives me crazy is that I used to do it all the time. But then, as a result, no one really wanted to talk with me or socialise with me much. I'm starting to feel that way around her. Here are a couple of snippets from the last couple of days.

Her: (talking about a Friends episode where a know-it-all kept pulling up trivia, one question of which was) Which thing that we call a nut is really a seed?
Me: Cashews.
Her: No, I don't think so. He said it was hazelnut. (And of course 'Friends' episode=gostpel. I think in her mind it had to have nut in the name).

Now mind you, I let it go, because although I'm good with botany, I'm terribly insecure about whether I'm right. That comes from having a best friend who's probably got an IQ in the 200s and has an eidetic memory. I have a recalcitrant memory at best. Of course, this means I tend to come out behind in some of our disagreements. There are some areas where I'm the recognised expert, but a lot of our interaction is in realms where he is, like philosophy and logic, subjects that he's taught. Of course, it was pointed out to me that I should have more faith in myself, since I am smart, well-read, and with a wide education. And that's right. But in the meantime I let it drop with this person.

This morning I was blocking on Dave Matthews' name. So I was thinking out loud and saying 'you know, the guy, the singer from South Africa, first name David'. At which point she informed me that he was *really* from Charlottesville, Virginia (see, she went high school and college in Virginia). Well, yes, that's where he launched his career from, but hello, he was born in South Africa, went back and forth between it and the US throughout his life, still maintains his dual-citizenship, and takes interest in the social and health issues hitting his country. I wasn't excluding other places he'd lived or were influenced by...but in my head, that's where he's catalogued, because I remember looking it up because I was curious about his accent. All the time I was actually trying to tell the story he figured into she kept hanging onto it and going on and on about he was *really* from Virginia, at which point I finally stopped what I was saying, told her that it really didn't matter to the story, finished it, and then left the room. Grr. I'm sure this is payback for all those times I pulled the pouty 'Lisa-must-be-right-but-seldom-is' attitude.

Sigh. Mind you, this person doesn't really understand that we're not friends, we're acquaintances, and she'd probably be hurt by that distinction. The fact is, we just don't click. We can talk on certain topics, but in terms of personality, we're just not compatible. Shortly after she started working she said she wanted a chance to be friends because basically she felt like she was surrounded by hicks (not her words, but her meaning) who didn't know anything and were very conservative and she wanted to basically talk to someone educated and liberal. Something about the way she said it at the time rubbed me the wrong way. I guess she seemed to be stereotyping a great deal and I sort of got the impression she wanted to be 'friends' so that I could entertain her otherwise bored mind during her stay here. That's not what friendship's about. Friends don't necessarily agree on matters of politics; it's deeper than that. And unfortunately she tends to have this idea of how the world should be and heaven help it if it doesn't conform. She's told Dwana, for example, that she shouldn't give me rides because I'm overweight and it would be good for me to walk (nevermind that when it's freezing I can't breathe because it triggers my asthma, or that Dwana's a big girl and can make her own decisions, or that it isn't freaking any of her business). But in her mind, I had to lose weight, so my wants and true needs meant nothing. She has given me a ride exactly once, because I think she felt guilty about snapping at me, but she'll often slow down and taunt me with a 'I'd give you a ride, but...' story that takes almost as long as it would to give me the ride. Usually I was fine walking on my own, but her stopping really just reminded me that I didn't have a car and in some cases had to rely on the charity of others. Whereas Dwana never, ever made me feel like I was a charity case. That's the difference between someone who thinks they're your friend and someone who is. Meanwhile she has Dwana pegged as some sort of sweet church girl, which is a pretty superficial way of looking at people. I'd much rather deal with someone on a deeper level--cracks and all--than some sort of smoothed over unrealistic façade.

Okay, let's move that rant aside, and I'm sorry, it's been bubbling for awile, although keep in mind I generally like her, I just get exasperated every six months or so with her 'everyone has to eat lunch together' micromanagement and need to control everything. I suspect it's because she's the oldest of several children, in part. And I know, I used to do very similar things. But you know what? I decided to work on that and learn how to be a friend. And as a result, although there are some co-workers I get along well with, I have a separate network of friends.

The really great thing about today is that I had to go to court again based on a couple of cheques I'd already paid off but weren't included in November's court date. The judge, when she came out, had on one of those headbands with reindeer antlers on it. That hurt my brain. Oddly enough, she seemed pretty strict on the various cases, though. So, I was a little worried. I was hoping they'd dismiss the case, but there was no guarantee. By the time they got to my name though, wayyyyy at the bottom of the docket, since people with lawyers go first, then people in jail, and then the rest of us, it turned out that I was the only person who had already taken care of a cheque/brought proof for whatever the issue was. No one brought in proof of insurance, their valid driver's licence, paid fees, whatever. So, the judge dismissed the case. Yay!

Court's a little odd in December. I've been a juror during that month. My favourite part of this session though was a guy named Jeffrey (I know this because the judge was on a first name basis with him) who was in jail and the judge greeted each other rather warmly and he pled guilty and then asked, 'Judge, what are the chances I could get out of here in the next day or so I can finish my Christmas shopping?' And she was like, 'well, what all do you have to buy?' 'Oh, a just a few little things.' She gave him credit on his service and he was going to get out later today. Warning, do not try this at home. That was a special circumstance. The same judge told a woman (wife, mother, I'm not sure) who kept trying to interrupt that she wasn't interested in anything she had to say unless she was the man's lawyer. But mind, you, this was arraignment court, where people just don't seem to understand that babbling on tape can be used against you in a case later, and they really try to make sure you don't do that, at least until after you've seen an attorney.

I capped off the day with some errands and was treated to egg foo young. All in all, it's been very pleasant, minus the co-worker and U-Scan. They even managed to get my PDA to partly synch on the new platform. Tomorrow should be very, very quiet at work. They'll probably play some Christmas music over the intercom. I wish I realised earlier that Dwana wasn't going to be there tomorrow; for some reason I thought, since she was trying to build up her PTO, that she'd be there. I should have taken off. Still, I'm going to be off from Christmas through January 4th, so I can't really complain. :)

I'm planning on doing some 'winter' housecleaning over the break and I went to the library and loaded up on some books. Unfortunately, I had some strange idea that an Anne Perry book (Resurrection Row) was actually the next in the series, which I haven't read. This one I have. Sigh. Mind you, I bought two copies of the paperback for the same reason; got it mixed up in my listing. So this is the third time I've got the wrong book in my attempt to continue the series. I feel like I'm 'stuck in the moment' indeed. Since it was a small hardback that fit in my purse, I snuck it into the courtroom and started reading before they brought us to order, then realised that it was the same book I'd purchased twice and had already read (it starts out with a cabbie dead at the rein, so that was fairly memorable). So, I went ahead and put it in the deposit box at the library on the way back to my car. Next time I'll pay more attention.

What a long, bitchy post. Sorry about that, but hey, you are reading my diary. Maybe it's hormonal, or I'm feeling bah-humbuggy, or just sometimes you need to bitch. Thanks for 'listening'. It's 3:30 am now and time for all rabid librarians to be in bed. 'Night.

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