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Has everyone here given up on having a yf?

Posted by French Frog on 2021-July-17 01:17:34, Saturday

I understand the need to complain about our situation and many of us have lived through terrible things I'm lucky enough to have avoided, so no judgment here on anyone, but isn't there too much self-pity and despair on this board? Is it really that hard to have a young friend for the average BL? Or is it not worth it anymore?

I will not lie to you. I'm not actively looking for young friends myself either. I'm glad enough with the boys in my life, though the opportunities to meet and spend time together are rare. But I'm a true introvert, and as such I'm often more drawn towards solitude than human contact. I've given up on almost all contact with adults except for work, and sometimes I'm tempted to do the same with boys, believe it or not. Many people would likely feel suicidal with the social life I have I guess, but the truth is, I'm satisfied enough with it. I've learned to accept the limitations of my own character.

So, if boylove was all about sex, I probably would have entirely given up on real-life boys. So much easier to deal with fantasies, and pretty safe if one doesn't look for illegal material.

But the reason I'm a boylover and not just a pedophile (that is, the reason why I'm actively loving boys and not just attracted to them), is that boys have made me understand that my love for them, the attention and care I gave them because of my love mattered to them and brought them joy. I don't really care about my "sexual rights". Of course I would like more sexual freedom and I am appalled by the usual cruel punishments boylovers get because of social prejudice. But there are countless other areas where one can contemplate the reality of "human horror"... Countless heterosexuals also dream of a sexual life they will never get. Frustrations and suffering are everywhere. In that regard, we are certainly not alone...

What does count as a young friend anyway? I'm not sure we could all agree on the same definition. To me, it is not about the amount of time spent together, or any sexual intimacy, but the intensity of the feelings for each other. It could even be an online relationship; it just happens that in my case (though that's not entirely incidental^^), most of the boys I would consider my young friends (or ex-yf) have slept in my bed (and I don't mean I was sleeping on the couch^^), and let's say I had some opportunities to get a good knowledge of their full anatomy as well :) Lucky me, but that's not what defines our relationship or makes it any special, I would say.

I consider myself very lucky, but mostly because my character made it unlikely to have the young friends I had, not because I believe having a young friend is that hard. I'm interested in your opinion, though: do you think it is harder for a BL to get a young friend than for a heterosexual man to get a girlfriend? It doesn't seem so to me, but I may be wrong.

This post is already too long, but I would just like to add that to me, the relationship with any young friend is worth it because of what I can bring them. The erotic pleasure is just the initial drive, but what I really wish for is making their life a bit better. I don't want to be delusional and believe their life would not be fine without me, of course they don't need me in that way. Yet, I still think boylove brings something significant to the world and the boys who inhabit it. I would compare it to what the movie maker Miyazaki said about kids and anime, wishing that every child could at least watch one anime as a kid. Obviously watching an anime is not a requirement for a happy and successful life. But who would say the movies they have seen as a child don't matter? Don't we consider them to be precious (at least some of them)? My goal in life as a BL is to have this kind of impact in kids' life. Not something anyone could measure, but deeply valuable all the same.

Lots of happy boys to you,


mi lon. mute mije lili kin li lon.

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