Friday, May 31, 2019

All Day Pork Buns and Bubble Teas at a Taipei, Taiwan Night Market

Headed to the airport. Indonesia was so yesterday. Today is more of a... Taiwan day I think.

AirAsia is one of those low cost dirtbag airlines that thinks it's cute to try to rape you with luggage fees. We didn't have enough time on our connecting flight to screw around with baggage claim though. Luckily I had Lydia with me to have a freak out on AirAsia employees until they let us on the plane with our bags.

I was excited that the airport had an ad about the awesome Prambanan Ballet we went to last night.

We switched planes in Singapore. This time we flew on another low cost carrier that I'd never heard of before: Scoot. I think they had one of those things where they have an auction on business class. I think we bid like $50 or whatever the minimum was and got bumped up! Hurray.

On that chocolate bar and beer diet all the Olympic athletes are raving about.

You pay, I pay, we all pay for Taipei. Taiwan has never been on my travel wish list because it isn't a country according to the United Nations. And as you all know, I am on a divine quest to visit every country in the world. This visit was mostly just because we had enough Delta miles to book two business class flights back to the US on Taiwan's flag carrier airline China Airlines. I had a lot of fun in Taiwan though so it all worked out. Taiwan is like a more western version of mainland China, with democracy and a more American style of dress.

I was amused by the Taiwanese anti-smuggling scare tactics at the airport. They handed me this card telling me how they were going to mess my life right up. 

You don't realize how empty your life is until you realize there are people out there drinking booze out of porcelain Asian Cabbage Patch dolls.

I deserved our fancy hotel toilet after the washroom horrors I was exposed to yesterday in Java.

I love a good night market, let me tell you. Raohe St. Night Market was killer because it was packed with food stalls selling things both delicious and weird. Eating weird street food is something that really gets me excited about traveling. There's just no place in the US that does it like this.

I think we averaged about 12 bubble milk teas a day while in Taiwan.

I bought some fried meat lumps on a stick. I don't really know what they were and I don't really want to know.

I read about the coffin sandwich and I just had to have one. They take a thick piece of bread and carve out the inside, fill it will some delicious meats of your choosing, then put the lid back on top. It's like multitasking because you can eat a nice food while also contemplating the fleeting nature of existence.

Lydia seemed to approve.

They had these duck heads for like a dollar each and I had so many “put that on my bill” jokes but no one spoke English. My talents are wasted here.

I never saw a squished penny machine I didn't like.

I think these birds were over here telling people's fortunes. Never trust a bird.

Picked up some baby egg tarts.

The line for a Fuzhou Black Pepper Bun was real long but it moved fast. It gave me plenty of time to salivate.

They were cooking them by slapping them against the side of a brick tandoori oven looking thing.

They were pretty damn good, and quite a departure from the pork buns I'm used to. Usually they are really sweet but these were savory and peppery.

I've been jonesing for a junky fast food pork bun this whole trip so I made Lydia stop at 7-11 with me afterwards.

It was a winner let me tell you. Really hit the spot.

We walked like ten steps into a nearby shopping district before I spotted another bubble milk tea sign. I think I may be developing a habit.

They ladle the tapioca balls out of a friggin vat of what I think might be molasses. Enough to put them on they asses.

Every place we've been to finished the magic by running the cup under a machine that sealed the top of the drink in a layer of plastic that you then had to punch through with a pointy straw. I think this was necessary because you had to shake it up before drinking.