Self-regulation vs Self-control and Compliance

“Self-control” is commonly understood to involve repressing or ignoring emotional reactions, leading to having a single response to a wide variety of situations.  It often is linked to compliance to authority.

In contrast, the central concepts of self-regulation are self-awareness and the flexibility to assess and effectively respond to a wide variety of situations.  It is based on decisions and actions made by a person, not on rules set by others.   Sometimes a restrained or passive response is appropriate.  At other times, the situation calls for passion and assertiveness.  The goal of self-regulation is to be able to identify an effective state for the circumstances and to be able generate that emotional state as needed.