Connect with Adolescent
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Photo This is a performance

Aug. 26, 2019
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Looking back at my relationship with clothing, I recognize two definitive phases: first, when I was a little tomboy hanging with boys, climbing trees, and coming back home with my knees bleeding from playing rough; second, when I started being pressured to look and act the exact opposite.

My coming-of age-was problematic, as I couldn’t keep up with how to fit in. Because of this, I grew very anxious and depressed and went to the extreme: oversized, boyish clothes that made me feel free and powerful. Before I’d buy something, I’d ask myself: does this represent me?

When planning this shoot, I went through my wardrobe and looked for the items that I want to give away but don't have the courage to. I also searched for items that make me feel capital-G Great. Then it was just me, my camera, and a Junglepussy album playing. 

For the pink photos, I had my makeup done pretty heavily and I felt like a ghost. It just wasn't me and I felt very uncomfortable. I had two choices: I could embrace it or show how awkward I felt. After trying some poses, I actually started having fun. I can have a diva moment; I can go camp! What I found is that experimenting with duality isn't about dressing like a boy or girl—it's about exploring new, sometimes conflicting sides of my identity to better understand what I want.