Should I Stay?

Question to Ask the Workplace Doctors about not feeling accepted:

I read about this “Feeling Lost and Alone at Work.” I am basically having same problem, difference is I decided to separate from them and eat alone. But those people keep talking behind me and I am not used to it at all. This is just a temp job, I am supposed to resign within 1 month but I can’t take it anymore!!! I want to resign in 2 weeks (fastest) but I promised my boss that I will stay for 1 month….. what I should do? Should I bear it for one month?

Every time I come back home I want to cry and I really started to develop a phobia that “I do not want to be hated by people” and “I want people to accept me”. Yes, I must admit that I care on how people look at me. I can’t help myself. So can you suggest me should I quit? ASAP or stay?

Signed, Quit or Stay

Dear Quit or Stay:

You are torn between a promise to stay and hate to stay. If you stay, probably you will continue to feel coworkers hate you and if you leave you will anguish over breaking a promise. My advice is to make that choice soon rather than to obsess about it. To be sure breaking a promise is not something to do lightly nor is quitting. But which ever you choose to do, I predict you can learn from this unhappy experience and neither choice is terribly wrong, however uncomfortable you feel about it.

As I read your question, I want to reach out to you with open arms to show you that you are not hated. I can tell from your brief ASAP plea for an answer that you are so unhappy that you need something more than for me to say stay or quit. My advice is to meet with a counselor. When you are upset as you are, you need to meet with someone who will listen. I suggest that your boss needs to know how unhappy you are and that she/he will understand if you quit.

Also most workplaces have departments of Human Resources or Employee Assistance. It is their job to listen and advise. They can give you immediate advice. But don’t you need longer range personal and career guidance? There are resources out there for us to help each other. You don’t have to go it alone bottled up desperately trying to decide what to do with your life. There are people in your community available to listen to a troubled heart and mind, such as clergy or counselors at a local college.

Your library or city government might help you find where to find that advice. I’m sure there are resources available if you will ask. This is to say talking about you are feel can help. You need to examine why you feel so alone and that you are a target of gossip. You need to think through how to cope with these feelings. You need to acquire the necessary educational skills so that you can find a temporary and/hopefully a permanent job that will provide both enough money to feed and house you and work experience that transforms a job into a career path.Rather than give you a long sermon, I’ll not preach more because you want an answer ASAP. My signature sentence is meant to help you see that you can help shape your future and that we can join with others in creating a workplace that is friendly and productive: Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS.

William Gorden