screen-shot-10-22-16-at-07-09-pm I saw an ad awhile ago for Westjet, advertising for workers, with no experience needed and I actually fantasized of me answering the ad and applying for a job,and you know, if I didn’t have my limitations of Asperger’s, BiPolar, and Social Phobia, I think I probably would. All these thoughts ran thru my head, I was thinking, “What if I really could?” If I wasn’t held back by my limits it could offer me a great opportunity, a way out of this miserable life, family, town,and situation I find myself trapped in.I could get a job with them, have my own life, escape,and be free.

Due to my weight and looks I wouldn’t be able to be a flight attendent, but there are other positions with the airline, such as ticket agent, working at the check-in counter, etc. and I like WestJet; I’ve taken them a few times when I went to Barbados, Miami,and Fort Lauderdale,and have never had any issues with them,and they don’t suck like Air Canada does! They are based in Calgary and if I got a job with them I could move there, away from here and away from my toxic family, just Buddy and I, and I could make my own $$$ and be independent,out of this toxic environment, and it would be fun and exciting and an adventure,and I’d even likely get free airmiles for travel,too!

But it’s all just a hope, a dream, a fantasy. They’d never hire me anyway, although for the sake of diversity they might have to hire so many “older” workers, but if I were “normal” and didn’t have all these set-backs I would definitely consider it. If I were able to make it on my own and function independently  it would be the answer to my dilemma, but like everything else, it’s just a fantasy, a dream, and will never happen. Imagine me working for WestJet……or for anyone…..at any job? Only in my dreams…..

Speaking of my toxic family, the 15 YR old made a bunch of her yummy  potatoes with dinner yesterday as well, enough for everyone, and I asked her if I could have some and she said “no” that it was “just for the vegetarians….” even though she did give some to the 13 and 17 YR olds who aren’t vegetarians…..she just didn’t want me to have any; she’s become a really nasty little thing lately, and my mother and I always mute sports on the news and when I left the room she un-muted it as my hubby was there and she  wanted to show-off for his benefit and endear herself to him and suck-up, even though she doesn’t like it either (it’s not just me) and then she lied and denied it, just telling him what he wanted to hear, selling me out, making it look like it was all my  idea, when she hates it too, says it’s redneck, makes remarks about how low-class and pointless it is, and even told me when I wasn’t  home before and it was just her watching that she still mutes it,too! She always does this and the 2 of them always join forces against me and take sides together against me and gang up on me  and when I told her so she never even denied it either because she knows it’s true.

hate my family.I always feel so alone, so unwanted,and so unloved.