Sunday, November 8, 2015

Having to be right.

It feels awful when someone corrects me. Or tell me what I need to do. Or lectures (expression of my interpretation and feeling??) me on the correct way to do something. Especially when it is someone close and they do it often when we are together.

Are you like that? Do you have to correct someone when they use a word that is not quite correct? Do you come out with a definite opinion is such a way that the other person feels that they cannot respond with a different opinion. Maybe you do it without even thinking about it?

According to the enneogram this person is probably a personality type that is disintegrating into mind stuff - just now anyway while they are feeling stressed.

Their world is not feeling safe and comfortable so they are expressing a need for things to be right as they know them. Every time someone else says something or does something that doesn't fit with what they perceive as correct, they just have to comment. It's a try at making things safe for themselves.

And yes, I am like that sometimes. I recognise this pattern from what has happened around me and also from what I have done. So I offer my apologies to anyone who has been affected by me being critical.

That's what I feel it is when I receive it - criticism.

Notice I say "I feel...." The person may not be intending to correct or criticise, but I have perceived it as such.  It's my feeling. and my perception. I do take responsibility for how I feel and how I perceive.

I am aware that when I am stressed that I am more sensitive to implied cricitism and when I am feeling strong, then things like that just roll off me and don't affect me.

This year I have been doing lots of experiencing and learning about rightness, sameness and differences. I have been letting go of some of my perceptions of what is right and expanding my awareness. What a gift!

If you need help with this issue check out and maybe we can get together.

1 comment:

  1. I enjoy the way you have looked at this. Certainly in my experience when I am feeling judged or criticised or feeling wrong, it is an invitation to , 1. go into how it makes me feel and what it is I am actually feeling, and 2. explore on the ways in which I show up correcting and needing to be right. I would certainly recommend Annette to anyone who is looking for a therapist to work through these issues