
Genesee Jul 2018
See I wanted to write about you and everything that I silently picked up on up
if you're wondering what I picked up on
Body language and cues
The way you tensed up when you were about to hear bad news
your anxiety
how it at times it came crashing down and you didn't know what to do
I reassured you the best way I could  
when you're concentrating or deep in thought about something
( I knew not to disturb you )
opening up to anyone was a task in itself
you hated doing that / I understood
The way you like to sing off key you think you sounded horrible singing wise
I disagreed
Personally, to me, I thought you sounded good
you told me a lot of info about yourself gradually over the months we got to know each other
I told you a lot of things as well
but one thing is for sure I picked up on several things you weren't aware of and I'd never tell you this
but you're easy to read just like a book
if you're annoyed, angry or upset
you might think oh no one cared or  noticed
I noticed
as it was written all over your face meaning you had the most readable ****** expressions
if you're wondering how I knew about your moods
it's simple really I could tell in the tone of your voice
if you were about to cry you had a certain tone of voice that suggested quivering in I'm about break down and cry tone of voice or how you were upset you had a certain way of behaving that let me know either to give you space or to comfort you
if you were mad ( depending on what the issue was / who the individual was and how long ago it was in addition to the details determined everything )
how you'd need space or you felt upset / still brought up the issue no matter how long ago said everything
and how could I forget your favorite songs the way you hummed them
favorite food and snacks
I still remember the details that you told me
the way we both know I'm fine or I'm okay
is a complete lie when either one of us
is upset mostly you though
when you're upset or down it's like I can sense that your energy is off / vibes are off some way or another
but one thing about our friendship is how we told each other several things
and because of that I still remember how you react
favorite snacks
your dreams and what your plans for the future were
how you handled relationships
Marg Balvaloza May 2018
Writing poems for someone was n e v e r  my thing
Until you ripped my heart out and left it bleeding
Words  c a n n o t  suffice how much I am hurting
Now that you are gone and left me with nothing

{ l.m.l.b }
Isn’t it ironic that when you are in pain or pure brokenness, your mouth has nothing left to say, but your heart can’t help but to burst all the million thoughts running through your head, by means of crying?
Genesee Apr 2018
You haven’t seen the 2 AM me.
The one whose unfiltered, real and has no concept of time in those hours
Meaning when everything is quiet.
No one is up at 2 AM
I'm wanting to pack up and go on a random nightly road trip blasting songs at high volume and singing.
just for the heck of it
But also you haven’t seen my ‘’ I’m tired expression ‘’
when I’m drained beyond belief
From trying to pull off the all-nighters
When I'm fighting off sleep
not wanting to give in to sleep
But eventually you’ll learn what time I'll start talking sleepily in my sleepy haze
Oh, the sleepy haze tends to make me honest.
for when those hours are nicknamed sleepy hours
as the sun goes down
I tend to be more honest.
During those hours I'll end up spilling some thoughts that I wouldn’t have the courage to say when the sun is up.
The poetry written in a sleepy haze
Genesee Mar 2018
Never warned me about how to
cope with someone who walks away from everything.
Including friendships
All my life
I've known how to give myself to the people who only wanted what they wanted.
Just to leave me
It's almost as if the I love you's that fell from their lips
Almost held me together
But when they left.
It came back full circle.
Until the heartache
Made me want to run into someone else's arms just so they could hold me for a while
But how could I know that they wouldn't leave me?
I wanted comfort, but I was afraid to say what was threating to fall from my lips.
You'll figure it out in a months time after I've left.
- My inner thoughts // Words I'll never say out loud
Miranda May 2017
I woke up this morning without the scent of your coffee in the air.
I scrunched my eyes and tried to sniff,
but the scent of your body wasn't there.
I paused, then frowned, confused by the missing fragrances.
Crawling out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen,
only to find a letter full of ******* sentences.
"I'm sorry," you wrote, "I'm leaving you now."
"My heart isn't happy here, I wanted to tell you sooner but I didn't know how."
I crumpled the paper as my eyes became full,
my intentions were pure, how could I have been such a fool?
"not happy here," replayed in my brain,
surely I was going crazy, maybe this is just a game.
with blurry eyes, I walked through the house
noticing your belongings were still there.
Confused, then angry, I thought,
"Leaving reminders isn't really that fair."
Then reality set, and I remembered your struggles.
Fear came next and I was screaming at the bubbles.
There you laid,
submerged in the water

"nothappyherenothappyherenothappyhere" it wouldn't stop
replay replay replay
why won't it stop?

Your wet body in my arms, I dialed for the operator.
I knew you were too far gone but I had to try for a doctor.
How could you leave me, but how could you not?
Your mind was your monster and it grew stronger than I thought.
The EMT's came but it all stayed a blur.
White walls, white rooms, but nothing of her.
"3:42 a.m." they said,
the number of your passing.
So everyday I've sat and grieved,
questioning my actions.

You're gone and I'm alone.

Left with all these thoughts.
People have come and gone
but my demons are all I've got.

You left and I'm alone.

Losing my own battles.
I don't want to fight,
I don't want these struggles
and now I finally understand
why you chose the bubbles.
Poetry is not for the weak or the faint of heart...
It is for warriors of emotion who constantly rip their hearts apart..
etrealouest Apr 2017
Last year I made poems about you,
and only you,
This year I’ll make poems about me,
From me,
For me,
There’s no use of writing poems about you, You’re gone.
However, I’m still here
For myself
So I’ll write poems to myself,
And myself,
From now on
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