First Fatal Marijuana Overdose Reported In San Pedro, California

Written by Mortimer E. Wallecaster

Once thought to be a “safe” drug with “medicinal value”, a marijuana death was reported in the mid-sized city in Los Angeles County, California overnight. The death of the majorly drug-addicted young man, aged 36, is Xhris Winthrop. Xhris was much like any other “normal marijuana user”, he pretended to have a job to pay off his debts to his drug dealer and his community college, or both. Xhris was like any marijuana-addled teenager, trying to become a personal trainer in order to acquire capital to hopefully find a mate to copulate with and create more productive hard-working Americans that vote Republican. Instead, Xhris’s dreams were crushed by smoking too much marijuana, choking his lungs to a point where Xhris could no longer breathe due to the heavy marijuana smoke that riddled his rented apartment. He is survived by his mom, Erica Winthrop, and his step-sister, Jessica.

The Democrats and the millennial youth are promoting drug culture in America at a time where the War on Drugs is becoming deadlier and deadlier. Democrats claim that laws against drug use are actually racist, which doesn’t make any sense. As we all know, Donald Trump banned racism in 2018. Any further use of drugs past that point cannot be connected to the absolute horrors of racism and acts merely as a strawman for the ineptitude of the Democrat Party “thought” process. Marijuana, for the millennials unaware of the danger, is a no ordinary drug. It is a gateway drug, a drug that makes you believe other dangerous drugs like Heroin and Cocaine are acceptable and won’t kill you. It isn’t a gateway to Heaven as the addicts would like you to believe, it is a gateway to hell, where sinners and heavy metal fanatics live and play their jazz music all the time. Marijuana controls your thought process into doing more marijuana until you are “fed up with your highs” and decide to “munch on” a deadlier high. Xhris is merely the first person to succumb to the true dangers of marijuana that have been in scientific studies since the late 1930s.

Xhris was merely a casualty in a war that cares not for humanity but cares for the end of human normalcy. The drug culture that swept America in the 1960s has permeated over the American consciousness today. Once President Nixon declared that drugs were a serious threat to the American economy, efforts to maximize drug illegalization initiated, and have prevented an upwards of over two million deaths in America since. Sadly, Xhris was not one of those easily preventable deaths, even if he only used the “safe drug” that is/was marijuana. But as we mourn his grave, his death gives us all a stark reminder that no drug can ever be truly “safe” for consumption. Drugs alter your brain’s chemistry leading to poor decision making and creating a more difficult thought process. To be wise is to abstain from all drugs and going to Church every Sunday to wash away any unneeded sins that someone like Xhris would use drugs for comfort instead of taking the easier route to go to Church on Sundays. If only Xhris did that, he would probably still be alive today.

It is unfortunate now that Xhris is a martyr for the marijuana drug culture, even being considered a “hero” and a “legend” for his unremarkable ability to consume vast quantities of marijuana. The hippies on the left have no regard for life, which explains their radical support for abortion, or the killing of unborn children. But now we all know that marijuana, the king of all gateway drugs, can still kill. It is morally irredeemable for Democrats to claim that Marijuana and its “CBD” cousin are healthy and “medical” for people that claim they need medical assistance. What’s next from the Democrat Party, Medical Alcohol? Prescriptions for Cocaine and Heroin to cure cancer? LSD for infants? This is the future presidential candidates Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren want when they mean they want to end the War on Drugs, they want the drugs to win.

Drugs kill, no matter the drug. The Democrat Party wants to keep moving America towards an unsafe overdose of narcotics. The Republican Party, the party that actually cares for American progress, wants to make sure you and your kids are safe and free from all drugs. Abstinence is the best and only system to instill a clean mind, and marijuana is not an exception. Xhris Winthrop, unfortunately, learned it the hard way, but unlike the Democrat Party, he at least can learn from his mistakes in the afterlife, if he’s lucky enough to be accepted into Heaven after being a drug fiend. Don’t end up like Xhris kids, WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS.

Mortimer E. Wallacaster is the Bullshit News correspondent on history and contemporary cultural matters. He is a retired risk analyst from Goldman Sachs, and is loving retirement and every minute of it! Born under a full moon on June 26th, 1913, Mortimer has lived through two World Wars, and the Middle East thing that’s been happening over the years. Mortimer was once a minor league pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters and threw 47 complete games in a month allowing only nine earned runs.

Coffee And Tea Are Not Good For You And Me

Written by Aaron Lau

The beverage industry is one of the most powerful forces in America, as well as the entire world. Sure, everyone “needs” water, but there exists alternative to water as well. But that doesn’t mean they’re good alternatives, there are mind-altering substances out there that rival America’s drinking industry. As everyone knows, the United States of America invented the soda and its two flavors: Coke and Pepsi. Other countries like Afghanistan and India, lack the great innovations America brings onto the world, and prefer their old forms of not-water beverages that are akin to drugs. The inventions, coffee, and tea, drug people to ideas that America is not a great country and delude these same people with liberal ideas and intentions.

Sadly in America, coffee and tea are all too ubiquitous in our civil society. That doesn’t mean they are bad, like cigarettes*. It means that too many Americans willingly indoctrinate themselves in liberal drug-beverages and thus susceptible to be part of the problem. The more Americans support the coffee or tea industry, the worse America suffers in our soda industry. There are alleged health benefits to coffee or tea, such as “mindfulness” or “spiritual reawakening” but these are just liberal buzzwords with no meaning and too much substance. They are rhetorical tools that cults use for people to keep funneling them money.  The coffee and tea industries seek to do just that, using their addictive beverage industries as a cult in order to make Americans challenge the status quo.

Of course, America has coffee and tea industries which are infamously liberal. Starbucks is a racist Jihadist coffee company that manages to innovate ways of offending everyone every year. Howard Schultz, the Islamic CEO of the Starbucks coffee brand, has decided to step down to form stage two of his plan to overthrow America: by running for president as a Democrat. If you’re a long time follower of Bullshit News, you have subscribed to the boycott of their Jihadist coffee framework and are aware of their opposition to Christmas as a holiday. And this same corrupt Democrat that drugs the majority of coffees in America that turns well-mannered Americans into radical democrats wants to lead our country in 2020.

Tea industries are rampant in America as well and do not have a strong single presence like Starbucks. But tea is just as awful and corruptible like coffee, just that it comes from Afghanistan and not India. They give different highs than coffee in a way that marijuana allegedly gives the user different highs. But all these “highs” lead the user into poor decision-making decisions, the tendency to vote Democrat, and holding the belief that America is not a strong, unified, and powerful country. Pass on tea, iced or otherwise, beer or soda is much more American and better for our big brains.

So my fellow Americans, abstain from coffee and tea, for they intend to poison your mind, question your surroundings, and vote Democrat. Howard Schultz will return in two years to give his “five-year plan” or whatever in his presidential campaign and us noble and good-hearted Americans cannot accept this man’s highly addictive liberal drugs. Aldous Huxley warned the world of dangerous men like Howard Schultz using drugs to tame the status quo for nefarious and illicit means in “Brave New World”. And to live in “Brave New World” is a vote for Howard Schultz, a Godless Islamic Democrat who wants to ruin America with his shitty mind-altering beverages.

Aaron Lau is the Bullshit News specialist in Social Media, Internet, and other On-Line media-culture related issues. He is married to his lovely wife, Cindy. He enjoys ultimate frisbee and certain technologies including video games but not the liberal propaganda-endorsed “fidget spinners” that are designed to spin Republicans to the left. He has an Associates’ in Information Systems from George Washington University and owns a Chow by the name of “Zappa”.


*Cigarettes can be good depending on how much money we will receive to change this sentence.

Opioids: How Democrats Are Killing Republicans

Written by Mortimer E. Wallacaster

The War on Drugs, formed by President Richard Nixon to soberize the country from the fascist drug-craven reign of LBJ, has been one of America’s toughest wars to fight in recent memory. The latest drugs that poison America’s unfortunate able-bodied workers are something called “opioids”. Opioids function as pain relief, as a method to get away from the nonstop liberal rhetoric the mainstream media pollutes daily. Opioids are effectively the number one cause of death to conservatives. A national tragedy.

Opioids are just one drug trying to kill Americans, and more importantly conservative Americans. There is also cocaine, the Fidel Castro-approved method of self-destruction as seen in Scarface. Heroin, the so-called “mushrooms”, methamphetamine, LSD, ecstasy (otherwise known to the kindergarteners as “molly”), and marijuana are all popular amongst the youth. Each of these drugs leads to destructive habits and corruptible behaviors like voting for a Democrat in a midterm election, of all elections. There are compelling reasons as to why each of these drugs is illegal, but each of them can also kill you. Especially Marijuana, which is the drug most likely to lead towards deviant behavior and mental illness. Such mental illness that makes some Republicans (RINOS) convert to Democrats, like Ron Paul and his sicko-lackey, Gary Johnson. These RINOS want to surrender the war on drugs to the drugs because they are already addicted to that liberal crack menace. Ronald Reagan fought to save these souls from the liberal crack, but too much exposure from it never salvaged Ron Paul.

America will never surrender to drugs, Mr. Ron Paul. Not while Jeff Sessions is Attorney General, who is supporting a maximum-prison term sentence for drug-related offenses. The greatest way to hasten the end of the drug war is a lesson from the Philippines, America’s most forgettable colony. They no longer have drug problems, as President Rodrigo Duterte has personally ended the lives of all drug distributors and manufacturers in his country. Donald Trump has looked up to Duterte for drug policy influence, which is not a bad place to begin looking for research. Better than those “Lib(eral)aries” the government wastes tax dollars on.

The death penalty, otherwise known as capital punishment, would be a great end to a mean to the “War on Drugs”. It is a war that has dragged on far too long, much like the War of Northern Aggression. Much like the “War on Christmas”, “War on Poverty”, “War on Coal”, and the “War on The History Channel Never Airing History-Related Segments” created by Senator Grassley, these wars are all catastrophic to our American tax dollars. “Poverty is Expensive”, says famous author James Baldwin. Needless deaths resulting from these wars reduce our GDP and weakens our country in doing so. Drug dealers never intend to be taxed for their work, which is an especially heinous crime. If the United States of America cannot profit from mercantile transactions, it is an act of war. Opioids make this problem hazy, and Democrats seize this moment to support the drugs perspective on the war to disillusion the American populace from capitalism. This is an act of treason.

The Democrats have made mind-altering drugs to persuade young conservatives to the liberal blue pill mindset, and enjoy that evil carnivorous “Grateful Dead” jam band music that fuels the marijuana pollution in the air. The opioids are the Democrats latest drug-craze experiment that has gone madly wrong, more people are dying from opioids than from cars. It has reached far past the point where someone is more likely to die from relieving the pain of a car accident, then the car exploding because you wanted to smoke a cigarette at a gas station. Liberals have conceited that if they cannot attempt to win over voters with failed ideology and false promises, then they must kill the opposition in order to remain relevant. This is sickening and unethical to the lowest degree. The opioids must stop harming our God-fearing Americans in the heartland. It is time to crank up the War on Drugs, kill the drug creators, manufacturers, and distributors, and for opioids to be over.

Just say no.
