An ancient practice of conflict resolution is becoming more mainstream, and a Sioux Falls man plans to offer two days of training in it later this month.

John Gehm, who spent 20 years as a professor at the University of South Dakota and the University of Sioux Falls, is offering Talking Circle Training, which he says groups can use “to resolve conflict, make decisions, build community, gain understanding, honor someone, process grief or trauma or celebrate a success.”

Talking Circles use a facilitator, known as a Circle Keeper, to guide the conversations between participants.

“It’s not necessarily the decision-maker or judge or arbiter,” Gehm said. “It facilitates the conversation between the people who are present.”

Talking Circles are versatile and can be used in classrooms, families, churches, businesses and other settings where interaction can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

“The research that’s out there shows you do build up a sense of community, you do extinguish the bad behaviors more efficiently,” Gehm said. “One of the reasons why it is so effective in bullying is that in the traditional model, you isolate the bully, remove that person and re-educate them. In the restorative practice approaching, you recognize that bullying behavior affects everyone in the classroom. Even those who saw something and said nothing and might be feeling guilty about that.”

The tool to altering behavior is peer pressure, Gehm said. The group decides what will be done going forward.

Gehm, who has his doctorate from the University of Notre Dame, became involved in restorative justice in the mid-1980s. He recently answered five questions about Circle Training and its history.

1. How did Talking Circles come about?

“Counseling circles are really a tradition rooted in most indigenous cultures This is not new, although perhaps the implementation is modernized in some sense. It really owes its history to indigenous peoples. It’s almost as if this is the wheel we forgot was invented. You can look at the Native American tradition but also First Nations in Canada, the Aleutians, the Inuits, the Polynesian and Australian aboriginal cultures. The earliest I’ve been able to go back is to the Maori tribe in New Zealand. Talking Circles were used before time is recorded. That suggests there is something extremely powerful in the simple process. It’s not simplistic; it’s a very different way of addressing dysfunction than we’re accustomed to in the Western world.”

2. How do Talking Circles encourage communication?

“In the Western tradition, we’re used to a rather aggressive debate. We challenge each other, and conversations involve often only the most assertive individuals. Quieter voices do not get heard, yet the things they would say are valued. This establishes a safe nonhierarchical place where everybody has a chance to speak without interruption. A ‘talking piece,’ passed from person to person, gives them the floor. Ground rules establish no interruptions, speaking from your own perspective, no speech-making and talking from the heart.”

3. How did you become interested in restorative justice?

“I got into this business way back in the 1980s. My background was in writing, and I was hired by an organization that got a grant for restorative practices. My job was to sit in on these meetings. I was skeptical. Why would the victim want to sit down with the offender and what happened in light of the perpetrator being in the room? In a good portion of them, I heard conversations go on that so surprised me. People actually cared enough to want to help the person. It sent me down a path in my academic career: Why does this happen? What goes on when people participate in these kind of circles?”

4. Why a circle?

“Geometry is important. It is important that we do form the chairs in a circle. In a circle, people set the ground rules they abide by. In the indigenous tradition, the medicine wheel is a four-quadrant notion. The first portion of the conversation, or the circle, is becoming acquainted with one another. We try to find common ground. Then we move into another phase. It might be what brings us here, what it is we want to talk about. Once you establish that kind of connection, empathy or community, then we talk about what needs to be done going further. People do better in changing behavior when it’s done with them rather than to them.”

5. Does it work in every situation?

“It’s not a panacea. I’d be the last to say this should replace every form of decision making, that it’s better than anything. But it’s a very effective tool. As an advocate and a facilitator, I would argue it’s worth a try. It may challenge your perceptions. Give this a change and with an open mind, you might be surprised.”

If you go

WHAT: Talking Circle Training

WHO: John Gehm of Restorative Practices Group

WHEN: 4:30 to 9 p.m. Friday with a light supper provided; 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Aug. 16 with lunch on your own

WHERE: Calvary Cathedral, 500 S. Main Ave.

COST: $150

REGISTRATION: Register on Eventbrite under “Talking Circle Training,” call Restorative Practices Group at 496-8227 or email

CEU: 8 hours through the South Dakota Board of Examiners for Counselors and Marriage & Family Therapists

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