Interview with a call girl: Lupita Hass

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On my way to Guadalajara I bought the newspaper, to have a small time reading.  Surprisingly, there is a lot of boobs, legs lingerie in the center pages, that usually don´t apear in this kind of paper: the bordellos and brothels don´t hide anymore under the cover of «massage rooms»,

But, between that sea of skin, there´s an ad that prevails over the others: a couple of buns filled with yummy meat. Weird. It has a website link instead of just a phone number, also, and out of curiosity, I swear myself to visit the page soon.

A few weeks later, another ad send me to

Anuncio Lupita Hass
Lupita Hass, urban legend, proudly from Michoacan. Every part of me smells like soap. unlimited sex, hotel room included.

wait a minute: I have seen this text before! I arrived to may e mail dozen times or so in the 3 last years. The full text is this:
Lupita. Neither model, nor foreigner. Why would I promise something that is not going to be? I´m a humble country girl, “whose had to sell, because didn´t wanted to study”. Nice and cooperative. 28 years old, white, size 7, big and hard perky ass (not shaped nor bottomed), “A real ass!”. Good for bed, bad for kitchen. everything with condom. Touch me EVERYTHING. unlimited interludes. 700 pesos per hour. I accept coupons and a slice of Christmas cake.»
The paper add of Lupita Hass The paper add of Lupita Hass. In this Interview with a call girl
I took the phone, and before I notice, I made my first appointment (I swear) with a prostitute. (she defines herlself a sexual outsourcing,

We´ve met in a Starbucks in Tlalpan.

Lupita Hass, The interview

Lupita took the interview nicely: She is very aware of the value of the publicity «I’ve spent as much as 30,000 pesos (about 2500 US dollars) a month for publicity», she said, «they worth every penny» this is not a casualty: she has a MBA in UNAM and a second career as a nurse.


Her real name is Miroslava, as she proudly show with a organ donor card «I called my self Hass, because my family came from Uruapan, where most Hass avocados in the world come from, to Mexico city, looking for a kidney donnor for my father… we could not find it in time, he died five years later. And Lupita, as a sign of respect for the virgin. I don’t smoke nor drink, I had no tattoos, because If I do so, I could not donate my full body when I die. She has a day job in Televisa, and consider herself as a brave woman.

Revista H: Which ads were most successful to you?

Lupita Hass: The one with the 3 wise men , it was a facebomb and even made it to the tv. In second place, the one for the Children’s Day:
«let’s jump the rope twogether», also, «Everything smells like soap in me»

Revista H: What your clients ask for most?

Lupita Hass: The Wonder Woman Costume! (laugh) …as a fetish, they ask a lot for footjobs, in third place, they buy me undies, we use them in the sex… and they keep it after. Many like it anal, but I don’t really like it: I have the sensations of pooping for hours. I do it anyway, of course.

Revista H: do you ever say «no»?

Lupita Hass: Of course. For instance, as a escort I don´t go to bullfights nor Cockfight- That’s inhuman, let they use some horns and get them stabbed… bullshit. Also, I keep an eye on minor girls in every orgy. That f**** grind my gears.

Revista H: Is that common?

Lupita Hass: Yep, in  Veracruz for instance, there’s a huge net of child porn and prostitution. I would be enough to ask a taxi driver for one, to arrest many. but the government is very corrupt and protect them.

Revista H: Do you consider yourself a social activist?

Lupita Hass: ¡Always! I even preparing myself to support the candidature for the president, that I’m not allowed to discuss now, but soon you’ll see.


Revista H: What do you stand for?

Lupita Hass: In first place, of course, the rights of sexworkers, wich are in fact just women´s rights. I´m working in a petition to create nocturnal child stances. The city´s government had placed a lot of attention on the LBGTTT community, but somehow forgot about us. I think Ebrard id gay (laugh) I am also with the help for burnt children, and the use of condom.

Revista H: which ones do you prefer?

Lupita Hass: Prudence, and doctor Simi’s. Also golden Trojan dorados. I don’t like Thermax, they broke, nor Mforce, they are not comfortable.

Revista H: in other topics, what hotels do you like to work?

I like the Aranjuez, Villas Patriotismo, Harare. Villas Quetzal are very cold, but had a love couch. But my best is the Gustavo Baz, has a crystal bed.

Revista H:: You say that you accept credit cards. How do you apear in the invoices?

LH: we get a previous agreement: I usually have many services to pay: water, electricity etc. we pay it on a commodity store before sex.

Revista H: you really smell like soap. What soap you use?

LH: Jabón Zote pink (laugh) is the best!

H mag : How did started?

Lupita Hass: One day, my girl´s father leave, just like that: I was in debt and still struggling to achieve my grade in college. I had to find a way to pay the bills and… I´m good for this, you know?

Revista H: Where we can find you?

LH: Give me a call! i Attend to every hotel in México city, from 8:00 am a 12:00 pm, every day. Lupita fucks all days, because Lupita has to feed everyday (giggle)

After this Interview with a call girl, I had the chance to get into the Datsun of Hass, that she drives fast through Tlalpan, to get her beautiful twins in the stance. we said goodbye, not before she asked me to remind our readers that she had «90 minutes per 90 bucks» deal. She IS a entrepreneur. I, felt like a whore.

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