Introspective Journaling - Day 3: What am i scared of?

What am i scared of?

spiders.  i don't like spiders.  and snakes.  basically anything with less than two legs or more than four.  although there's probably plenty of scary 2 and 4-legged beings that would be scary under certain circumstances.  

Aside from bugs, animals, and humans, i don't like heights.  i fell down a short but steep rocky cliff once when i was 16.  i walked out on my own but i don't remember it.  A couple of staples in the head and stitches in the chin and knee and i was okay.  I could've/should've been dead.  

I'm also scared of dying of in a car accident.  i feel like i'm going to die that way.  stats show that accidents are one of the leading causes of death for men under 40.

Drowning would suck.  So would burning to death.  Or sinking in quicksand.  Basically death is pretty scary because of the unknown-ness of it.  I just don't want to suffer as i die.  Take me in my sleep when i'm like healthy and 109...

On a deeper level, i claim that i'm afraid of not fulfilling my potential -- although my daily actions wouldn't support that.  I don't grind hard enough.  I find excuses and allow myself to get wrapped up in the day to day.  Goals remain the same year after year.  I plan my ass off.  That's just another distraction and an excuse not to start. 

Ultimately, i don't want to move on from this earth without having made contributions in which i'm proud.  The point when i can rest easy knowing that i did my part to leave this planet and its' beings better than i came into it.