Tag Archives: soccer moms

If a Soccer Mom Played a Grand Theft Auto Game



“Huh?” he asked.














Kathy put her hand over mouth and muttered something inaudible.









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Filed under Video Game Misc.

If a Soccer Mom Lived in a Grand Theft Auto Game

“Oh dear, little Ricky is going to be late for glass blowing practice!”, Lucy said.

She locked Ricky into his seat. She flicked “the button” next: the car transformed, with the obligatory sound effects from the Transformers 80’s TV show, into a mobile fortress, or depending on your perspective, it transformed into a train that runs through a mad, mad, mad world.

Lucy zoomed through the first intersection and stopped at a red light, just as a yellow butterfly fluttered in the wind and landed like a gentle leaf on her windshield. Meanwhile, a helicopter hovered overhead, sending trash flying in all directions on the street. Five cop cars ducked, dived and dodged their way through lanes, their tires red hot, in pursuit of a rogue red car. The rogue red car swerved all over the road and tried to spray clips at the coppers behind it. Instead, the bullets riddled nearby buildings. Lucy stared straight ahead; her eyes hypnotized by the red stoplight.

When the light turned green, Lucy accelerated so fast that pedestrians’ heads were spinning as they craned their necks toward her car. Lucy zipped through three more intersections before she arrived at the glass blowing building. As she ran inside with Ricky, a tank rolled by, crunching cars and flattening trees. It was a typical night in Capital City.


Filed under Video Game Misc.