It’s A Hassle To Do As You’re Told

, , , , , | Right | February 25, 2018

(I work in the footwear department at a store. One day, while I am stocking the shelves, a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Can you help me find something?”

Me: “Absolutely! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have [Work Boots] in a size 9?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we no longer have those in stock. Would you like me to check online for you?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(The customer and I walk to the nearest computer terminal and do a quick web search. We find the work boots pretty quickly.)

Me: “All right, sir, would you like to place an order for these work boots?”

Customer: “Stop hassling me!”

Me: *caught off guard by his sudden change in attitude* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *slowly* “Stop hassling me.”

Me: “I’m not trying to hassle you, sir. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. Does this mean you don’t want the boots?”

Customer: “I would have ordered them if you hadn’t just hassled me!” *walks out*

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Puns To Make You Go Dementor

, , , , , , , , | Related | October 30, 2017

(I am sitting in the family room with my kids, watching “Inside Out,” when my eight- and nine-year-old sons start talking about the colors of emotions and behaviors, which ends with the following.)

Eight-Year-Old: “Silly must be rainbow.”

Nine-Year-Old: “Yeah. Lonely is white. What color is serious, Mom?”

Me: *amused* “Well, there really is only one color serious could be, isn’t there?”

Eight-Year-Old: *stares down [Nine-Year-Old] as he starts laughing, catching on quickly* “Don’t. Don’t you dare!”

Nine-Year-Old: *ignoring his brother* “Black! Serious is black! Serious Black!”

Eight-Year-Old: *groaning* “I’m going to bed. I’m serious!”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I thought your name was [Eight-Year-Old], but it’s nice to meet you, Sirius.”

Eight-Year-Old: “Gah!” *flops over on floor and covers his ears* “Stop with the Potter puns!”

(The nine-year-old pokes his younger brother’s arm and tries to stop laughing long enough to add in one last comment to the conversation, which, while not Potter-related, is still too good for him to pass up.)

Nine-Year-Old: “Hey… Why so serious?”

(I sent them both to get ready for bed once I could stop laughing long enough.)

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