Some time ago, I bumped into Times-News Editor Bill Moss at a charity event. At some point in the conversation he said to me, "Yes ma'am."

He then received a version of "the look" usually reserved for my better half. "I know I am a little older than you, but don't 'ma'am' me just yet," I said.

He explained he was raised to "ma'am" everyone, young and old.

Truth be told, my mother dispensed the same lessons. So I forgave him for generating my angst about aging.

What about that expression and custom? Dictionaries tell us that ma'am is an abbreviation for madam. The French is madame, originally ma dame. That came from mes domina, or "my lady" in Latin.

Go down the list of meanings for madam, and you eventually find "woman in charge of a brothel." Sort of ironic to have that meaning in the list with "polite title used in speaking to a woman."

After hearing all of this, it may seem bizarre the next time you say ma'am. Do you suppose sir, from sire, once referred to "my lord"?

Some of our Southern habits are strange, and one wonders where they originated. Personally, I'm pleased as punch to live in the South and I like our customs.

In the summer months, folks from elsewhere may confront these Southernisms and be puzzled. Last year at this time, I offered 10 steps for fitting in with Southerners. Some of these were: say hello when spoken to, try our sweet tea and fried green tomatoes, learn to say you'uns and ya'll, and take care when discussing the Late Unpleasantness (also known as the Civil War). Another slice of advice was to be thoughtful about saying "where we came from, we did it better."

There are many more Southernisms newcomers should know. Let's peruse a few.

Don't address people your elders by their first names unless they give you permission. Any good Southern mother teaches her children to say Mr. and Mrs., ma'am and sir.

Take some home-baked goodies or a plant to a new neighbor. But do call first before dropping by.

Keep a casserole in the freezer, in case of a funeral. We shower people with food in times of sadness to let them know they are loved.

Keep some food and beverages on hand at home and always offer them to your guests.

Keep your silver polished and your house clean. You never know when company might come.

Learn how to make up a bed properly, with the top sheet face down. (I know it doesn't make sense, but it's tradition.) And a true sign of slothfulness is an unmade bed.

If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. Some folks like the reverse version better: If you can't say anything nice, sit by me.

Don't be unmannerly and take the last piece of food from the serving dish. Divide and share.

Perfect your Southern drawl. As demonstrated in Flat Rock Playhouse's past production of The Foreigner, the correct pronunciation of fork is faw-urk. Two syllables with a little nasal sound as a garnish.

Hold the door open for ladies. But nowadays, don't be surprised if they hold the door for gentlemen as well. The whole point is being considerate.

Attend family reunions. You can pick your friends but you cannot pick your relatives. Sure Cousin Goober is an embarrassment, but he's your blood kin.

Don't make hollandaise sauce in a cast iron skillet and never put it in the dishwasher. You need to "season" it in the oven with some grease.

No crunchy vegetables. Green beans and collards are meant to be cooked all day, not steamed for five minutes.

Never meet a stranger. Whether you are shopping in a store or standing in line, grab the opportunity for conversation.

Just because we talk slowly doesn't mean our brains perform at the same rate.

Don't wear white shoes until after Memorial Day, and never past Labor Day.

Don't be surprised to see people praying before eating in restaurants.

Stop and help people with flat tires. Let people out in traffic.

When a funeral procession goes by, it's polite to pull over and stop if you're able.

In the South, Mother's Day corsages should be white if your mother is deceased and red if she is living. Whatever you do, don't say anything bad about anybody's mother.

In fact, be careful about saying anything bad about anybody. Lots of folks are related to each other around here. You never know whom you might insult.

Many Southern women are genteel. But don't mess with them or you'll discover what Steel Magnolia means. Sometimes that's not a pretty sight.

At all costs, uphold that Southern tradition of politeness. It sweetens the wheel of life. With that in mind, extend newcomers and visitors a welcoming hand.
