Stop this display of ostentatious wealth, says Queen in massive palace, with her crown

THE Queen is believed to be outraged at Meghan’s £300,000 baby shower, from beneath her jewelled crown in one of her many palaces.

Pregnant Meghan enjoys ill-timed night out with ISIS bride

THE Duchess of Sussex is under fire after enjoying a night out with Serena Williams, Jessica Mulroney, and ISIS bride Shamima Begum.

Dad still unclear on David Bowie's sexuality

A RETIRED father has confirmed that he is still not entirely clear on whether David Bowie liked girls or not.

The actor's guide to not totally bollocksing up your career

ARE you a top Hollywood actor who has a baffling urge to do incredibly stupid things? Here’s how to stay likeable and employed.

Prince Philip 'has no idea Meghan is mixed-race'

PRINCE Philip is making the royal family incredibly tense due to still not realising his granddaughter-in-law is a person of colour.

Henry Hoover voted Remain

HENRY Hoover is a proud Remainer who will fight for a second vote for the people of Britain, manufacturers have confirmed. 

Philip asks Queen to take the points for him

PRINCE Philip has been trying to get his wife take the points for him, it has emerged.

'I'll do whatever the f**k I want', says 97-year-old who can do whatever the f**k he wants

A 97-YEAR-OLD who can do whatever he fucking feels like has confirmed his intention to do exactly that.

Got that f**king grouse though, says Philip


Stevenage teenagers outraged at Lewis Hamilton's criticism of their beloved town

LEWIS Hamilton’s description of Stevenage as a slum has devastated the town's proud teenagers, it has emerged.

Middle-aged female celebrities all going out with same man

EVERY middle-aged female celebrity is in a relationship with the same man, it has emerged.

Has Meghan threatened to carve her initials into Kate's pretty face?

PALACE sources have denied that the Duchess of Sussex accosted the Duchess of Cambridge in a quiet anteroom, held a knife to her cheek and threatened to ‘cut’ her.