I’m A Stickjock

From The Known Words 2, long out of print and replaced by The Known Words, which doesn’t include this (among others) due to it being not of sufficiently high standard:

I’m not really any more anti-fighter than I am anti-Laurel, but something about the myths and legends of the dear mostly-boys just tickles my fancy. This particular song uses a specific definition of the word “stickjock” which not everyone agrees on: a big, dumb, rhinohiding thug. In some places, it seems, that’s the standard meaning of the word, so being called a stickjock is an insult. In other places, stickjock is nothing more or less than a synonym for fighter. This can lead to all sorts of disjointed noses. C’est la langue.

This is to the tune of I’m An Ape Man, and there’s a dedication: it is in honour of the King who has done more for the Kingdom of Lochac than anyone before or since. He knows who he is.


I’m a stickjock, I’m a stick-stickjock, yes I’m a stickjock.
I’m a big stickjock, I’m a thick stickjock, I’m a stickjock.

I don’t know a thing about no A & S,
I joined for the fighting, I have to confess;
I got the social graces of Rudolf Hess,
‘Cos I am a stickjock.

The life in the Society is just the thing,
There’s cider to drink and there are songs to sing,
And if my head is tough enough I might be the King,
The top-ranking stickjock.

Now not every fighter is a jock, I’ll explain:
There are one or two who have still got a brain;
They don’t stay for long because they feel pain,
Quite unlike a stickjock!

I don’t understand all the waivers and bans,
I guess that it proves that SCA stands
For “Structure Controlled by Americans”,
A nation full of stickjocks.