The magic in Lily Dale is a version between fairyland meets the vast secrets of the universe. It is called the ultimate “Disneyland” for Psychics and Mediums. Individuals from all over the world go there to find healing from the other side. What I didn’t realize when I booked the trip is I would need healing as well. I am grateful to have had this experience where my vulnerability gave way to having my heart slowly mend itself back together. Here I was able to experience Lily Dale with my son and I also had the opportunity to stay and spend time with my mentor and friend, Lisa Williams, as well as a close family friend, Michelle, and her two children. I had all of these plans to write, play, work and soak in what everyone has been talking about for years, which is the energy vortex and history this little town provides. Little did I know there were other plans for me.

Last week was one of the most painful weeks I have had from an emotional standpoint. I had something hit so close to home, literally and figuratively, that I couldn’t work for weeks. I grew up in San Marcos, a small town in Southern California, where I lived across the street from someone who a few weeks ago killed six people, who I also knew. Our families went to church and school together. All I could think about was how does something like this happen? I was just on a podcast the day before talking about gun control. I help families, how do I deal with it myself? When expressing how I knew all the families and my feelings of heartache to my friend Susan, who is Dr. Drew’s wife, she asked me if I would be willing to say that on CNN with Dr. Drew. I was the only one that they knew of, who actually knew all three families involved. I didn’t want to at first and then after speaking to my mother and the encouragement she gave me, I realized I could give a different view. I was able to say how the shooter was actually from a great family and it wasn’t until later in his life that he snapped. I wanted the world to know he wasn’t from a bad part of town or an abusive family. His upbringing didn’t contributed to this horrific act. We should pray for all the families involved. He had a record of violence later in his life. He snapped and had access to guns. He killed his brother-in-law, sister-in-law and four of his nieces and nephews. The next day my mom told me how grateful his family was. Not only did they watch the CNN interview, but also they said the public started showing more compassion towards them. It was a few seconds that made a difference in the mass heartache of anger and hurt we all felt. The pain is still immense as I write this.

The first morning I woke up in Lily Dale, a picture of six caskets reminded me of the funeral my family was attending that day. I immediately couldn’t breathe and began to cry. I was so distraught and then on top of it, I couldn’t get grounded enough to move on from what happened the week before. During that time as I tried to wrap my head around what happened and why, I went upstairs to tell Lisa I was still a little hurt from the week before and also ask her how I could shake it. Lisa had been checking on me every day since it happened without even knowing any of the details. She only knew I was connected and she could feel my sadness. As I told her the funeral was taking place that day, Lisa said she had a reading that morning and a male came through and described how he was shot in the head. She never watched the news and didn’t know if a male was killed. She asked the person she was reading for if it belonged to her. She said no and that is when she realized it belonged to me. I looked at Lisa and said, “He was here?” She said he had gratitude in his heart for me. I was in shock when she said this and I said, “I just don’t understand, Lisa.” The person she described was the father who was killed, the person I went to school with. I told her his name was Stephen as I was walking away from her, trying not to cry. She asked me to come back and went to grab her notebook. She showed it to me and it had his name on it. Lisa had no idea what the family member’s names were nor did she know any details other than a gun killed them. She described exactly how they were killed. I told her that I couldn’t wrap my head around everything that happened. At that point as Lisa saw me try to hold back my tears, she said something that really stuck a cord, “Sometimes we are just not meant to figure things out and why they happen. It is our job to feel sometimes what other people go through.

My pro bono work is with families that have had these horrific deaths- deaths that should only be in the movies, not in real life. This one I experienced was another tragic event that should only be a fictional story on television. This event gave me a knowing so painful I experienced not being able to breathe, and the desire to scream at the top of my lungs and throw and break things all while my heart was physically aching. I will never wrap my head around what happened but what I will remember is the strength of Love that got me through it. Thank you Lily Dale. Thank you Lisa. Thank you friends and family. I love you.

I experienced many healing, fun times while in Lily Dale. One of which was listening to Lisa sing while Gregory played the guitar. The other times were going to the inspirational stump and listening to the mediums give out messages along with the trees whispering love as the sun radiated through the leaves. Each moment was healing on every level. I am so grateful.