Monday, June 8, 2009

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created by MckMama as a way for us to confess to all of our not so shining moments in parenting. Head over to MckMama's blog to see what everyone else has NOT been doing this week!

While making lunch last week, I did NOT accidentally drop a turkey dog on the floor, and turn around and step on it (and I had NOT been wandering around barefoot outside) and then just rinse it off and eat it anyway. I would NEVER do such a disgusting thing. Not me!

My husband did NOT refer to "good sunscreen" as 10W-40 instead of SPF 50. He really DOES know the difference between sunscreen and motor oil.

I did NOT forget that my new makeup does not contain a sunscreen like my old one did, and I did NOT get burned in the face. This has NOT happened a time or two before, and I will NOT probably do it again next year.

While spraying Grant with sunscreen, I did NOT pull down the edge of his diaper just the teensiest bit and spray him there, too. Just to make sure he didn't burn when his diaper shifted outside. He did NOT stomp his foot and yell at me, "No, Mommy! No spray the pee-nis!" I did NOT fall down on the floor laughing at his serious little face.

The following conversations did NOT happen in our house this week:

Marty: (out of nowhere) I think I am going to make a comment on that post.
Me: (paused, confused and trying to figure out what he was talking about) What post?
Marty: The one I was talking about! Were you not listening?
Me: (thinks for a minute) Oh, you mean the post about your fantasy baseball trades?
Marty: Yes, that one.
Me: OK, you know that was four hours ago, right? I need you to tell me what you are talking about when there is a four hour break in conversation.
Marty: (joking) Not if you listen better.

We were going into a restaurant to use a gift card we had gotten a while back.
Emma: I need to wear my sunglasses inside.
Me: You need to? Why is that?
Emma: In case my eyes get gloddery.
Marty: In case your eyes get what?
Emma: Gloddery, Daddy. (Eyes roll at the obvious idiocy of her parents, and then she speaks slowly, sounding it out so we can learn what must be basic terminology) Glah--Der--Ree. They might get gloddery and I need my glasses to save them.
Me: What happens if they get gloddery?
Emma: They get wet.
Me: Do you mean, watery?
Emma: No, Mommy! It's gloddery!

Well, OK then.

I have NOT been having a hard time blogging lately without pictures. My brother did NOT call me yesterday to remind me of something that happened, and I hadn't blogged about it because it was part of a day that I have pictures for, and I am waiting till I can upload pictures again. I did NOT completely forget about the story, even though it was freaking hilarious. I will NOT have to blog about it without pictures, just so I don't forget about it again. Want a preview? "Thank you, Lonnie!" That's all you're getting so far. Look for it sometime this week.

I did NOT once again massively over-commit myself when it comes to a birthday party. Since our family is HUGE, parties are usually a large affair, but this year Emma wanted to invite her pre-school classmates. Since she has been with these kids for a few years and they will all be going their separate ways this fall, we agreed. I did NOT decide to have the party at dinnertime and decide that I should feed everyone dinner before I totaled up the list. Between our usual list and the list that included her 14 classmates, we did NOT have a hundred people in the invite list for her fifth birthday. I did NOT scale the list down to immediate family and the closest friends she sees all the time. I did NOT cut the list down to sixty five, and I am NOT begging for the forgiveness of those who will not be coming this year.

My five year old will NOT have a bigger birthday party than some weddings. And I did NOT make her birthday party a potluck. Who would do that? Not Me!


Curlyqfun said...

Great list!
Love when you include conversations with the kids. I cannot wait till we can have full on conversations with our girls.

Snow Mommy said...

Grant cracks me up!
You did NOT go find the cheesiest pinata because it holds the most candy!

Anonymous said...

WOW! Your an amazing mom!! I thought I was being risky letting Gabe invite 13 five year olds to his birthday!! Shhhh....don't tell him your cooler then me...he still thinks I'm the best! ~Kristen

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

I'm still good for Wednesday! How about you?