Friday, 23 October 2015


Hi :)


All my kids are now over 19, and my grandchildren don't yet read my stuff.


I was 13 when I "lost" my virginity. And I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I didn't lose it down a drain or anything. What a STUPID word.

His name was Lothar, he was German, and we were in a student exchange thing. I was on the pill and I really didn't care.


It was the 70s. It was Europe.

Grow up.

At the time, it felt right. I wasn't coerced. He was fucking gorgeous. I was very, very ready.

And do you know what he said afterwards?

"Didn't that hurt?"


"You are not a virgin."


I have no idea why I had no hymen. MAYBE I WAS BORN THAT WAY.

Maybe, being a tomboy, I had done enough rough outdoorsy stuff that I broke it on a stile (q.v.) or climbing a tree, or something. I don't know. I don't care.

All I know is that "my first time" it was all pleasure, and no pain.


I also knew girls who did just about everything EXCEPT "real" sex. They had sucked lots of penises, oh yes. Some had taken it up the rear. But they were still VIRGINS, you see.

What a load of bollocks.

Some of these girls were "virgins" on their wedding nights, and along with those who had zero experience they suffered pain. Right. Great way to end that day.

Then....some of them discovered the man they married was f**king hopeless at sex. Some of them are still with that man. Some of them have still not had good sex.

I tested my husband out. Are you ready for THIS?

First night we dated. In my living room. As my mother slept above. And I thought, yeah, I can spend the rest of my life with this one. Right then and there.

We married 11 months later. My advice to women? TESTDRIVE, girls.

I apologize in advance if this post offends. I'm just trying to be honest.

I accept there are other experiences. This is mine.


  1. I'm not offended at all and I can appreciate the point you're making.

    I've been intimate with only three men in my adult life. None of them were particularly adept. However the third (to whom I'm now married) actually took the time to talk to me and learned how to improve.

  2. Or you could have simply had a hymen that slipped to the sides when you had sex. It's hardly uncommon.

    The whole virginity thing is ludicrous. It's ludicrous when people fetishise it, like a Catholic girlfriend I once had did. We'd dry hump, have oral sex etc but she'd never go "all the way" because she was saving it for marriage. What the hell good did that do?

    It's even more ridiculous, if, after fetishising it, they then redefine it. I know a woman (whom I did not sleep with) who had sex plenty of times with different men before marriage. Then when she got married she claimed to be a "virgin". I challenged her on this - I knew both her and one of her boyfriends very well - and she said, "OK, I had sex, but I went to my marriage bed pure in heart". Hah.

    As one of my ex-girlfriends said, virginity after sexual maturity is not normal.

  3. I was eighteen and it did hurt. It was also 1961, a very different period. See MadMen or Call the Midwife. The sixties did not start till 1963. I felt deliciously adventurous and Bohemian at an age that now seems like a holdout. I totally skipped the whole teenage angst and petting scene. Went from being an incredibly innocent bookish social outcast to going All the Way shortly after leaving home. It worked well. I always enjoyed sex but did not discover orgasms till a few years later and married the guy.