CHILDREN TODAY: Fussy infant may be a sign baby, parents are mismatched

Thirteen-week-old Riley continues to cry, despite Carol's careful and loving mothering. Screaming, as though he were in pain, this medically normal baby could soon be a youngster whose lack of weight gain is worrisome.

After a short nap, Riley awakens and looks around his room, equipped with lots of stuffed animals and mementos of his birth. He whimpers a bit, and Carol responsively returns with a big smile. "Hello Sugar," she beams.

Riley brightens.

Carol picks him up.

After a few moments of tentative stiffening, this baby nestles into his mom. It seems like the morning's tensions and tears are history.

But, in a few minutes, the crying returns. Over the next three hours, Riley refuses the breast, refuses the bottle and screams. At times, he seems enraged. Most of the time, he seems upset and sad.

Carol is unable to soothe him.

She telephones her husband. "I couldn't stand it," she explains. "He kept crying, no matter what I did. I felt so helpless.

"When Jeff came home, it wasn't much better. At least I got a break. I went for a walk.

"But when I came back, Jeff was having the same thing from him: tears and protest. It's like he's saying, 'You make it worse. You're no good at loving me."'

Carol looks down, near tears herself. "And we love him so much. We've got to find an expert -- who can teach us how to parent."

Like their baby, Carol and Jeff are normal. Yet tension and helplessness are running high. Riley's sleeping and eating routines are worrisome.

While Riley's pediatric examination, just a few days ago, showed him to be developing within normal ranges, he suffers, along with his parents, with a true handicap: mismatched infant-parent relationship.

After a visit to the parent-infant center, a specialist suggests home filming, and a "micro-analytic study." Over the next four days, Riley, Carol and Jeff are visited at home. They are filmed, as they go about their play, parenting and attempts to feed.

"At first, I was very nervous," Carol explains. "I felt judged, and like they were going to decide I'm a bad mom."

Throughout the filming, Riley continued to scream.

On the second and fourth days, the baby sat in a baby seat, with each parent sitting across from him. The instructions were to "be together and play, without picking up Riley." Two cameras were positioned, over each partner's right shoulder, focused on parent's and baby's faces and torsos.

The method of filming produces a split-screen film, in which baby and parent can be watched at the same time. The film is slowed, so that both parents' arousal, their gestures and behaviors such as vocalizing, talking, moving closer and gazing toward and away can be watched and analyzed.

The analysis shogs that young Riley moves between sleepy, unengaged states, and very aroused, agitated states. Both states set him up for getting overwhelmed. He only momentarily "visits" a comfortable, alert and interactive state.

The split-screen films show that as baby becomes agitated, both parents move closer, widen their eyes, and vocalize and talk more. In a word, sensitive, loving parents are mismatching with a baby who also wants badly to get close. Riley's predominant states, sleepy and tense, and his ease with being overwhelmed by noise and close proximity, make Carol's efforts ineffective and confounding.

Carol's and Jeff's parenting would work well with many babies.

The usual procedure with infant-parent mismatch difficulties includes infants and their parents watching (although babies don't watch films much!) spilt-screen films together.

Carol, Jeff and Riley joined three infant-parent "teams," watching themselves interact. They were able to see that the need was to find ways to match, by having fun together. Two mothers, holding their babies, noted how Riley was "either numb, sleepy, or like a nerve, ready to touch."

Carol showed Jeff how his big smiles and moving closer overwhelmed, rather than calmed, Riley when their baby pulled back and got tense. Another father compared his daughter with Riley -- showing how `icking the infant up "didn't let her ease out of her sleepy state. Yet, our first baby loved it that way," he added.

Within days, Carol and Jeff changed from intimidated to curious. They "learned that getting to know how Riley's special is better than common sense parenting. After you figure out how to match, then you use a different kind of common sefse," Jeff explained. "Now Riley and his mom and dad have fun, rather than worry. And this little guy loves to eat."

"I stopped looking at myself. I stopped blaming. He was making me feel so worthless -- so defective. I was getting mad at all of us," Carol admitted. "Now I'm letting my baby affect me. We're both adjusting. We laugh a lot."

(Dr. Charles Schwarzbeck is a consultant to families and schools in Seattle. He teaches at the University of Washington School of Medicine.)


VDT #48 ENTERED EXPIRES H/J'ED INCHES ERRORS FILMED PUBS dt29627 /93 17.10 11/12/93 13.41 *12/31/93 0.00 NEVER-CG8S .00 0 NO E S GUIDE: AUTHOR: PRI:


SEATTLE (AP) -- Independent truckers picketed at the ports of Tacoma and Seattle and applied the brakes to some food deliveries.

The protests in Washington state were among job actions reported across the nation Thursday by independent truckers. They are protesting, among other things, high diesel fuel prices and the North American Free Trade Agreement.

Many independent truckers in Washington parked their rigs for safety rather than solidarity, fearing violence. But aside from some minor rock-throwing at the Port of Seattle, the protests were peaceful.

At the heart of the strike is a 20- to 50-cent-pergallon increase in diesel-fuel prices independent truckers have been paying since about Oct. 1. The price increases went far beyond the 10-cent-per-gallon federal fuel tax that took effect Oct. 1.

At the Port of Seattle, strikers briefly blocked some shippers' gates and threw some rocks Thursday morning. But they settled down, no injuries or property damage occurred and business continued as usual, port spokeswoman Cathy Keck said.

At the Port of Tacoma, about 20 truckers carrying signs saying "Shut down now!" and "No pay, no haul" picketed the main entrance. Many said they wanted more government control over interstate trucking.

"We've seen it go from a viable business to just barely scraping by," said LaVonne Elliott, 43, who owns three trucks. "We need to get organized and become an organization unto ourselves. If it wasn't for us, everything in your house wouldn't be there."

Some food distributors reported incoming freight had decreased noticeably.

West Coast Grocery Co. of Tacoma expected only 45 trucks today -- roughly half the number that deliver food on a normal Friday, a spokeswoman said.

Paul Gaskill, spokesman for Washington Lettuce and Vegetable Co., the largest distributor of lettuce in the Pacific Northwest, said truckers stopped driving late Wednesday when the wildcat strike was called.

"They don't want to get shot at" and they don't want their trucks vandalized, he said.

Robin Yoder, a truck broker for American Transportation Systems, Inc. of Puyallup, said business was off by two-thirds. The company lines up 15 to 20 truckers with hauls each day. On Thursday, Yoder said she lined up only five hauls in Washington, Oregon and California.

Mike Gilbert, president of Independent Dispatch Inc. of Kent, said he has instructed his drivers to stay away from truck stops and rest areas and not to engage in arguments on citizens band radios with drivers engaged in job actions.

There are about 4.5 million truck drivers nationwide. They move everything from lettuce to furniture crosscountry. Half a million drivers are believed to be independent owner-operators.