Sunday, September 11, 2011


Today I pause to remember.  I pause to grieve for the loss of life on 9/11.  I pause to grieve for the lives of their loved ones. 

I remember being in a small grocery store that afternoon.  Bear in mind I do not live in an area with a nearby military base so bumping into uniformed military is unusual.  I was in that store nearly every day.  I will never forget the young man (he was a BOY) who was with his mom.  Dressed in fatigues, he was picking up "food for the road."  I don't know where he was headed but I don't believe I will EVER forget the lump in my throat as I watched the interaction between that mom and her baby.

I recall the nervous wisecracks and the banter between them.  I recall how we all stepped aside insisting this boy place his order and how he sheepishly accepted.  I recall everyone wishing him Godspeed as he was being called to active duty from the reserves.  And, I recall the tears in the eyes of each one of us as we made eye contact with his mom.  I do not know what happened to that boy.  The store has long since closed.

I recall receiving phone calls from the school district.  NO student was allowed to board a bus to go home until a faculty member made contact with a parent or guardian.  EVERY single student in every single school (and I'm sure this happened in most all school districts)..... there would not be even one child potentially going home to an empty house.

I recall the silence in the air when the planes were all grounded.  There is always air traffic in the skies above and from early in the morning, the sky was brilliant blue and eerily silent.  And, I recall sitting up in sheer terror at 3AM because the silence was broken by the sound of a screaming jet.  It was one of the fighter planes protecting us from further harm.

I recall those days right after the attacks.  The first words exchanged among people were no longer, "hello" ..... for weeks, it was always, "Is everyone alright?"  

I recall taking a trip to "Ground Zero" within a month of the attack and I remember that wall.  The wall of photos and letters and flowers and pictures and that wall seemed to go on for blocks and blocks.  And I remember thinking I should choke back my tears.  So powerful was that image, the tears just streamed down my face.  The twisted metal and debris was just a pile of garbage and a construction mess.  That fence represented life.  All lost lives.

I recall for MONTHS after, the reverence with which any remains found were handled.  It could have been a small bone.  All activity stopped.  Every construction worker removed his hard hat.  The remains were carried solemnly and in total silence away from the devastion while everyone who was there stood at attention, hands over their hearts or saluting.

I remember.  And I remember this was an attack on the entire country, not just NYC and not just Washington DC and not just in a field in Pennsylvania.  Indeed, it was an attack on freedom around the globe. 

There are plenty of You Tube videos and a search will yield thousands of results.  I am saddened and horrified when I hear people talking about the jumpers.  It disheartens me to hear anyone even so much as hint (even slightly) that the VICTIMS of the tragedy who took control of their destiny were somehow "diminished" because of their actions.  Those who stayed put were "more heroic" or some other such nonsense.

Stoicism is highly over-f'ing-rated.  Some things get me exceptionally irritated.  People make choices.  And until we walk in anyone else's shoes, judging (or telling someone what they should or should NOT be doing)?  Definitely, not appropriate.  At least not in the Rules I try to incorporate into my life.

"All gave some.  Some gave all."  That is a bumper sticker that bears an FDNY mark.  These first responders are still in harms way.  There has been a recent medical publication about the cancer risk to the firemen who worked to clear The Pile.  It's appropriate to recognize they are looking over their shoulders in the same way many of us looked over ours with the threat of a cancer diagnosis.  Some of them have already passed away and they are no less heroic than those who perished that day.

As for those who took control of their own destiny, while this was not reported on at any great length in this country, it seems the European media did not turn a blind eye.  I commend the foreign media for their commitment to providing the truth.  Sometimes the truth hurts in ways that are unimaginable.  But turning our backs on the truth or becoming like an ostrich doesn't make the truth disappear.  Painful as it may be, I want to make sure NO voice is ever silenced because their message isn't popular enough or because it sullies the picture.  We all matter.

And yes, those last three words are all encompassing... not just for September 11.... but for ALL. 

(If you have the stomach for it, these are two of the you tube videos that are from what I believe to be reliable media sources.)

You Tube WARNING-This is about those who jumped, upsetting to watch

A second you tube video, equally troubling to watch


  1. You've beautifully articulated so many of my feelings. I'd forgotten running into the young men and women in uniform who'd been called up for duty. That's why we need to remember 911, so we don't forget the big and small things, so we don't let history repeat itself. Thank you, Brenda

  2. Thank you, Brenda... for sharing your thoughts with me. It encourages me to stay on track with a "new direction" and I do have your July 10 post printed out in front of me. I've read it ten times in an hour. Next up, the highligher and a good dose of courage....
    THANK YOU..... xoxo


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