A lot of people who call for the end of the world aren’t actually #ReadyForCthulhu


OPINION by Bobby Rich

I continue to hear from many people who call themselves annihilists or apocalyptians, but tell me they won’t vote for Cthulhu in the upcoming election.

With due respect, I believe they’re wrong.

Herewith, their three major arguments and my responses.

Some claim he’s no better than a random space rock. “He’ll end the world, but so can a rock,” they say.

I’m sorry, but anyone who equates a rock with Cthulhu hasn’t been paying attention.

A large meteor is a suicide-bombing terrorist device. Backed by an unknown agent or agents to fool the American electorate into wasting their vote on another billionaire-funded campaign to not destroy the world, but provide a “safe” societal emotional release that will never arrive. If summoned, President Cthulhu is the only one that would wreak irreparable damage on America and the world.

Cthulhu isn’t a simple concept to express but he’s able and experienced. I’ve worshiped him for almost 50 years and worked with cult leadership on his numerous campaigns for the US presidency. He will make a fantastic final president.

There is simply no comparison.

Others claim that even if he’s better than Hillary and Trump, he’s a lesser evil compared to them, and they won’t vote for the “lesser of two evils.”

There is folly in seeing two human beings as being “greater” than Cthulhu. Hillary may be the beneficiary of a global cabal of investors and Trump may be the leader of the unruly mob, but their evil is centered on only ego and profit.

Any destruction that would result from their theoretical presidencies would be accidental byproducts of bad decision-making which both are prone to.

Compared to Cthulhu, whose sole case before the American public is the destruction of humanity, they are but fleas of annoyance.

The main stream media has been pushing the idea that Trump is a monster for months now. Those who read Wikileaks understand that Hillary is also a monster. But objectively looking at the facts shows they are still incredibly flawed humans, not immortal forces of eldritch destruction.

They are the epitome of “lesser” in all sense of the word.

Realism and critical thinking are seriously important now.

The third argument I’m getting is from people who are angry that Cthulhu cannot just appear and wipe everyone out already.

They cite that every four years Cthulhu runs but never wins.

“Why should I vote for the greater evil when he won’t win?” they ask.

I have supported Cthulhu in every election and share people’s frustration with the Elder Party candidate. I also sympathize with their feeling that a vote for Cthulhu is a waste of time when they could be building bespoke nuclear devices to DIY their own apocalypse.

To them I ask: what have you done to spread the word of Cthulhu? Our objective in every election is not as difficult as that of the Libertarians or Greens. We do not “win” in the traditional manner, we just need millions of Cthulhu cultists and friends of Cthulhu to write His name on the ballot – and then, on a day dedicated to a mass ritual of choice may we summon the true form of Dread Lord Cthulhu.

Each year more and more are drawn to our god of chaos. All of us must continue to work hard for his inevitable rise from R’lyeh to deliver oblivion to succor the needs of ordinary Americans.

The movement to unleash Cthulhu must not and will not end.

There are only a few weeks until Election Day. My request to those of you who still don’t want to vote for Cthulhu: Please reconsider. It is no exaggeration to say the fate of the nation and reality itself are at stake. Let’s End History.