Why I Don’t Go to Funerals

For Nick










5 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Go to Funerals

  1. There is nothing that can be added to this beautifully written and extremely sad story except to add one note for those of us who are still here: WEAR SUNGLASSES
    and make sure your children/grandchildren wear them. I know it is not a cure-all for ocular melanoma but why take chances when we know that sunlight is a big contributing factor.

  2. Someone who was legally dead once told me what it was like to die, saying “You go to sleep. There’s nothing else.” (story, http://fastfilm1.blogspot.com/2010/06/last-interview-with-paul-kossoff-mia.html) This fed my nihilism and skepticism on religious matters; i.e., why is the supreme being a sadist?

    This may relate to your question of higher purpose. You already are fulfilling an earthly purpose of great importance to others, and with grace, intelligence and compassion. Why be preoccupied with someone else’s definition of higher purpose? You’re already living it…

  3. In seeing my parents’ reaction to my sister’s untimely death at 39 I thought that the most horrible thing is for a parent to outlive their children. I don’t think many of us deal with death very well and it is a funny/sad thing that we somehow think that Doctors, because of what they do, should be better at it. Death sucks, premature death of a life filled with promise and potential is a tremendous loss. My wise husband said to me once, when I was struggling to deal with the unfairness of these things, that if only bad people died we would never appreciate life and all it’s beauty. I have tried to remember this in all the sorrows I have experienced since. It is true but it sure doesn’t hurt less.

  4. As a veterinarian I deal with death a LOT more than most people, and perhaps even more than most physicians.

    And I also am called upon to euthanize (i.e., kill) animals. Some near death. Some not so near.

    All these years of exposure to death may be why I am so practical when it comes to life and death. I know people will die. I know I will die.

    This was most apparent to me when I was dealing with my own mother’s end-of-life decisions.

    I’ll have to tell you those stories privately some day.

  5. My father passed in 1983 when I was 21. My mother passed in 1988. I’ve been to a lot of funerals for other family members and close relations but have stayed away from quite a few also. I know we all have to go one day but it still feels terrible to even think about it. In some cases when the deceased is someone we know it hits so painfully close to home that it’s almost unbearable, but take a peek at the news and people die every single day, worldwide and in staggering numbers. Four seasons. Spring is birth, summer is the time of youthful bliss, fall is the maturation of the life process, and winter, even as beautiful as it is at times, seems to signify death. Just have to accept it I guess. What else can we do? Oh, I know. Enjoy life while you still can.

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