It’s now legal for Oklahoma women to go topless in public…

Boobs. Jugs. Titties. Tits. Fun bags. Cha-chas. Breasts. Everyone has them. Patrick has them. My grandma has them. Governor Stitt has them. Even I have them. But for some reason, only half of the people on this list have the ability to bare their breasts outside of the home. Even though women typically have more business being bare breasted (ex. Breastfeeding), men are often allowed to be shirtless in public places while women are not. But thanks to a court ruling, that could all soon change.

Via News on 6

TULSA, Oklahoma – It is now legal for women to go topless in public in Oklahoma and five other states.

The ruling made in the Colorado case affects Oklahoma, Wyoming, Kansas, New Mexico and Utah…

This means women can walk down the street, gather at a public park, or perhaps even go topless at a public swimming pool…

This ruling applies to public places like the street and the courthouse plaza, but public buildings and private businesses can still have a policy that says everyone has to be clothed before they’re allowed inside.

The article goes on to interview a Tulsa police sergeant, who voiced concerns that women “exposing” themselves is going to lead to an increase in sexual assaults. Well in case there’s any confusion about what this law actually allows, let’s talk about 5 things Oklahoma’s new topless law doesn’t give you the right to do, including…


1. The right to touch a woman’s breasts without permission

Just because a woman decides to forgo a shirt, it doesn’t give you the right to grab her breasts without permission. If you think it’s okay to go around grabbing chests just because you don’t see 1/8th of an inch of fabric covering them, you’re probably a bigger menace to society than bare breasts will ever be.

2. The right to throw beads at women at women in Bricktown

Just because women have the right to take off their tops, doesn’t mean they all want to be poked, prodded and solicited to take off their tops.

3. The right to sexualize breasts

The “debate” on whether or not women should be “allowed” to show her breasts in public sexualizes women and affects their ability to feed their children. And yet the old argument I’ve heard some men make throughout this is, “If a woman can openly bare her chest in public, then why can’t I take my penis out in public?” Well that’s because 1. You also get to be topless and 2. Babies don’t eat from dicks, ya goddamn sex offender.

4. The right to judge a woman for baring her chest

Women may choose to go topless for a number of reasons, including 1. They are satisfied in their own skin. 2. It’s comfy. 3. They’re breastfeeding. And 4. The Oklahoma heat + a bra = enough underboob sweat to drown the entire town of Atoka. That’s just a simple science fact.

5. The right to be proud of your body

Women in Oklahoma had that right long before this law was in place.

What’s your favorite word for breasts? Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek