Friday, February 27, 2009

Ray(e) of Light.

Life is difficult. Now, before you go thinking I'm super deep, or really negative, let me say that this is the first sentence of the book "The Road Less Traveled". The theory behind this concept is that once you get over the fact that life is full of challenges and hurdles, and quit complaining about them, life becomes much easier. I find that repeating these words when I feel angry at the universe for giving me a child with Autism helps calm me down and get perspective. That, and a spray of Rescue Remedy.

Scott's dad said something to me yesterday that really hit home. He told me that he has a vision of us in 5 years. The kids are older, life has settled down a bit. Max is doing great, Cameron is doing great. We are fulfilled in our careers. We have a big house down on the lakeshore. Him saying this brought tears to my eyes, because I too have the same dream. Granted, mine is much more focused on life settling down a bit and Max doing great. But the positivity of his words, the optimism and good wishes for our future, that really hit home.

I have always been a big believer in visualizing where you want to go with your life, and saying it out loud. Tell the universe what you want, and you can make it happen. When people ask me about Max, and how severe his Autism is, I am candid and I tell them that he doesn't talk yet, though he has a few words. I tell them that he often has issues with transitions, sometimes hurts himself when he gets stressed out, and that he isn't able to play with other children, or play pretend games that involve creativity and imagination. But I also say that he is a very smart kid, and a very happy kid, and that I have all the faith in the world that with the right therapy, he is going to be okay. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that he will be one of those children that at eight years old, will be quirky, but will have friends, and will be fully integrated in school, and if you didn't know he had a diagnosis of Autism when he was little, you would never guess it when you meet him.

Life is hard, for sure. Overall, I would define this as a down time in our lives. But the future looks bright, and we are working towards our vision of what we want our life to be. Nothing worth having ever comes easily, and we will appreciate it so much more when we get there (house on the lakeshore and all).


  1. hey! that's my name in the title - i think you had a freudian raye-slip in your spelling!

  2. That book changed my life - no joke. I had to ignore the religious part at the end, but my world's best therapist made me go buy it after our first therapy session years and years ago and it instantly made so much sense. I buy it for everyone who considers starting therapy because it is such a simple concept, but once you understand it and accept it it seems to make daily life a lot more manageable.

  3. Hee hee! Raye - I just noticed that. Lol!

    AP - totally agree. I first read this book when I started college - my professor Phil Mattson rec'd it to me.

  4. I think that you have such a positive outlook on life. Having a child like Max is going to allow you to have so many opportunities that you wouldn't have had otherwise. I do believe that situations like yours can only make you a stronger person and from the limited time I have been reading you, I can say that I have noticed how strong you are!

  5. You know, I have no trouble believing your future scenario. It sounds natural to me (if by "natural" you mean "the result of a lot of hard work," but in this case that's exactly what I do mean--I can see you getting there because of what you're doing *to* get there).

    And I didn't say this before, but I'm so excited about your BlogHer win! Congratulations.