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The Shadow

So far, so distant. 
So gone, not persistent. 
All I see is the shadow.
The shadow of who he used to be.
The shadow of the man that used to truly love me.
All that's left is a fantasy.
He promised he'd treasure me, but he failed miserably. 
Now I feel like his beautiful, convenient accessory. 
An accessory to his tragically disastrous life.

I thought things would change.
I waited and waited, but that highly anticipated day of joy 
and freedom never came. 
I hate the waiting game.
By the time I almost touched the finish line, everything I had left inside me got destroyed. 
Tried to fill the void.
Tried so hard to stay strong. 
With every breath I broke, 'til I couldn't take any more.
I almost forgot who I was.
THAT woman would NEVER settle for less, for this.
There I was... thinking I was flawed because you failed to see my beauty, my loyalty and devotion to you.
Never felt like I was enough because not once did I feel you were satisfied.
You wanted more. You wanted someone else to fix your misfortunate, chaotic life.
All you ever did was waste my precious time.
I trusted you, I adored you but it was all a lie. I was your ride or die. You were never mine.

Wish You Knew

I woke to the sound of rain pouring.
It was so dark I could barely see a thing.
I stand alone. Count the raindrops that hit my face.
They replace the tears I am unable to cry.
Feeling inhuman, spirit lost, my body's firm as a rock.
Deafening silence surrounds me, still I hear you whisper my name softly.

Wish you knew...

My God I wish you knew how much I miss you, how I long to kiss you.
I need you to tell me you love me. I need to feel it. Let's turn back time. We've always done the impossible. We've come so far, but I feel you're giving up.
You say it's my fault, that I'm to blame, but you're the one playing a dangerous game.

All I've ever done is love you. I dried your tears, you made me fight my fears.
We used to be a team. There was no you and me.
There was us.
Wish you knew how much I miss us.
The little things you used to do to make me smile, the promises you made sure were kept.
Where are you my love? I can't see you, I want to feel you.
Can we make it through? Are you willing to fight for me and you?

I am wounded, I am open, I am hurt, I am broken, still have hope. I am yours.
My aching heart longs for you, I wish you knew....