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A red car arrives and then leaves rapidly with a burst of flame from its exhaust.

Cars were invented so you don't have to tire yourself out walking to the gym to get fit because you never walk anywhere anymore.

Usually, cars come with four wheels - normally situated at each corner - and an engine, which is used to provide movement. More importantly, they tend to be shiny and can either go fast, or not so fast.

The types of cars available can be split into three categories:

  • Useful cars
  • Shiny, fast cars
  • Hateful, spiteful, uninspiring little boxes of metal

Buying a car is not as difficult as people may tell you. Don't be put off by glossy literature boasting high top speeds and fantastic fuel economy. There are just three things you should bear in mind, ranked here in order of importance:

  1. What is the gadget quotient, and will it keep you interested and amused for the time you own the car, specifically in traffic?
  2. Is it shiny?
  3. Does it go fast?

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