Tuesday, September 30, 2014

My poor Joe

Some time between 11:00 PM Sunday night and 7:00 AM Monday morning, my old tomcat Joey had a sudden attack of diarrhea on my futon.

He's a good boy. He would never miss the box intentionally. It must have hit him very suddenly.

Yes, it was a drag to have to haul my futon cover down to the laundry room first thing Monday morning. No, I don't have the stink completely out and yes, it's creeping me out. (Note to self: Let's see if those Febreeze commercials are telling the truth about pet odors.)

But most of all I'm worried about him. He's very old. He's still social and affectionate, and as recently as Sunday I saw him playing with Reynaldo (albeit only for a few minutes), so I don't think he's in any pain.

But he's dying. Fading away. I know it. I see it. If he has diarrhea again, or exhibits any signs of discomfort, I'll bundle him and haul him to the vet.

But we're back to this again: Am I doing it for myself or am I doing it for Joey? He's approximately 18 years old. That would be 87 in human years. He hates going outside -- the street sounds and smells terrify him.

But I love him. I love reaching out and touching him, feeling his purr and curly paws against me. I love his gentle soul. I don't want to lose him.

But I don't want him to hurt. Ever. I see that as my job, to keep his life as safe and comfortable as possible.

I hate this.

We still give a damn

Sunday my friend John and I went to see Gone with the Wind, enhanced and on the big screen again
to celebrate its 75th anniversary. We had a great time.

I saw this movie for the first time when I was still in high school, released in theaters for the 35th anniversary. It was the 70s. The audience back then thought Scarlett O'Hara rocked. She was a feminist's feminist.

Then in 1989, for the 50th anniversary, I saw it in the theater again. By then the word "bitch" was being bandied about to describe Katie Scarlett.

In 2014, the prevailing audience sentiment seemed to be that Scarlett was selfish and silly.

I find this fascinating, since the movie doesn't change, but this country -- and our perception of women's roles -- continues to.

I'm still the 70s gal. I still think Scarlett is a tough, brilliant but blind heroine who somehow keeps her family safe and fed in the worst times despite facing unimaginable hardships. I love Miss Melly, too. She's the woman I wish I was. Just as tough as Scarlett, but always in touch with her better self.

And then there's the racial aspect. GWTW is filled with happy darkies serving benign slave owners. The Ku Klux Klan is referred to as a "political party." It's pretty odios. My friend John is black. He was one of 4 people of color in the theater Sunday.

When I saw the movie in the 1970s, there were no African Americans in the theater. But that didn't surprise me because the neighborhood my family lived in was lily white. Every movie I saw, I saw with an all-white audience. In 1989, the theater was all-white, too, and I was aware of it because the neighborhood where I chose to live when I left home is racially diverse.

John said he wanted to see it Sunday because 1) it was an event, 2) because the Civil War happened, 3) the attitudes of the country in the 1930s when the film was made happened, too and 4) it's always good to spend a Sunday afternoon with me.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Sunday Stealing

Ask Away! 

1. What is your zodiac sign? Oh, dear. This is not an easy question for me to answer. I was born at the stroke of midnight, which for legal purposes does not exist. So my mother had her choice between November 21 and November 22 for my birthday. She chose the 22nd. So I'm on the cusp of a cusp. I've had one astrologer tell me definitively that I'm Scorpio, another that I'm Sagittarius. So I kinda give up.

2. What is your favorite color?
Blue. Specifically Pantone 294, which is Cubbie blue. 

3. What’s your lucky number?

4. What talents do you have?
I write well, I'm a good public speaker, and I can wiggle my ears.

5. Are you psychic in any way?
Not really.

6. Favorite song?
It changes. Lately I've been listening to a lot of 70s pop, specifically Boz Scaggs.

7. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

8. What position do you usually sleep in?
Face down or on my left side

9. Have you ever tried archery?
Yes. It's the sport I was best at back in my high school days.

10. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
20 hours

11. Do you have any scars?

12. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes

13. Can you do any other accents other than your own? No

14. Are you a good judge of character? Yes

15. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

16. Are you a clean or messy person?

That's me on the right
 17. How long does it take for you to get ready? Where are we going?

18. Do you have much of an ego? Yes

19. Do you talk to yourself?

20. Do you sing to yourself?
I'm tone deaf, so it's better that way.

21. Can you name all 50 states of America?
Yes. Is there a prize involved?

22. Have you ever been scuba diving?

23. What makes you nervous?

24. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
Yes. I'm afraid I can be something of an ass.

25. Are you ticklish?

26. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

27. How many piercings do you have?

28. Can you roll your Rs?

29. How fast can you type?
Oh, God! I haven't been timed in a million years. I used to be very fast.

30. What are you allergic to? Bee sting and erthromycin

31. Do you keep a journal?
You're looking at it

32. Do you like your age?
I'd prefer to be 10 years younger

33. What makes you angry?

34. Were your ancestors royalty?
Not to my knowledge. I haven't gone any further back than my great grandparents, though.


That's not what I expected to discuss over lunch yesterday. Yet that's what my nephew wanted to talk about, and since we were celebrating his birthday, he got to choose.

Now a highschool freshman, his favorite subject is Western Civilization. He loves the teacher, loves the resources, loves the subject. Particularly Rome and Byzantium. When we changed the subject to Of Mice and Men, I was on firmer ground.

I love how much he loves learning, how he relishes that it's harder than 8th grade had been. I was also happy to hear that he still walks to school every day with Anna. He has known Anna since pre-school, his great-grandmother and Anna's grandmother were church friends. Old friendships are important, and I'm glad that he's maintaining his.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: A Day in the Life (1967)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) According to Rolling Stone, this is the greatest Beatle song of all. What's your favorite Beatle song?  It changes. Right now it's "She Loves You." The music is infectious bubblegum, but the lyrics are surprisingly sophisticated. It's a guy giving another guy relationship advice -- I can't think of another song with that premise. And "pride can hurt you, too," is a bit of wisdom I need to be reminded of.

2) "A Day in the Life" took 5 days to record. Looking back on the last five days, what did you accomplish? Not a lot. At work I came up with some content for a series of radio PSAs my client is considering. At home I played around with ideas for this year's Nanowrimo. (November is NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth.)

3) This song is the highlight of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band, the first album released after the Beatles gave up touring. Critics predicted that, when they abandoned live concerts, their creativity would wane. Obviously this wasn't the case. When has someone underestimated you? I was in a very long, not healthy, relationship. My boyfriend was sure I'd never walk away. He was wrong.

4) The song says our hero "woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head." How is your hair right now? Are you prepared to go out and face the world? It's kind of a mess right now, as I've yet to take my shower. I'm not washing it this morning, though, since I'm going to the salon at noon and I'll leave the shampooing and conditioning to the pros.

5) The lyrics tell us he had to hurry to catch the bus to work. When is the last time you rode public transportation? Yesterday. To and from work. Like every workday.

6) "A Day in the Life" was a true Lennon-McCartney collaboration. Conventional wisdom is that Paul is easy going while John was edgy. Is your temperament more Lennon or McCartney? Much as I adore Sir Paul, I think my personality is more Lennon.

7) "A Day in the Life" came out five years after the Beatles replaced their drummer. Taking over for Pete Best was undoubtedly the biggest break of Ringo Starr's career. Tell us about a time when fortune smiled on you. When I interviewed for my first writing job -- for which I was completely unqualified -- the creative director reviewed my resume and saw we'd gone to the same high school. This caused her to give me a bit more consideration than my experience (which was negligible) deserved.

8) It would be hard to overestimate the Beatles' impact on popular culture. Their story and music have inspired a Broadway musical, a Las Vegas show, two movies and, according to Amazon, 900+ books. What's the most recent biography you read? Currently I'm reading The Patriarch, a massive biography of Joseph P. Kennedy (JFK's very colorful dad).

9) The Beatles are an ongoing boon to England's tourism industry. Fans from all over the world visit Liverpool each year to see where the Beatles grew up and got their start. If you won a trip to England, tell us what you'd like to see. Like Pussy Cat in the nursery rhyme, I'd go to London to look at the Queen. And, like any Beatle fan worth her salt, I'd cross Abbey Road.

Even this All American family couldn't resist

Wednesday, September 24, 2014






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Time to admit it

I hate war but I support our troops.






Monday, September 22, 2014

I couldn't make this up

I mentioned last month that I have rediscovered Bonanza. I began watching the reruns when I was home sick with a summer cold and find I really enjoy it. Partly for nostalgia's sake, partly because it's pretty good. Also, between Me-TV and it's sister channel, Me-Too, it's on almost whenever I want to watch it.

I have developed a crush on Adam, the oldest brother, who has a hairy chest and a dry wit. He did not play much of a part in the episode I fell asleep watching last night (Little Joe was about to get into a gunfight to avenge his mother's memory) but he did have a starring role in my dream.

I dreamed that I time traveled back to the 1860s to marry Adam Cartwright. I remember little of the dream except that I was glad to move onto the Ponderosa because one of the benefits to sleeping with a man back then is he didn't expect me to shave my legs or prune my bikini line.

No, really.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Sunday Stealing

Alphabetty 2 

















Q) Do you usually initiate hugs? No.

R) Are you a very affectionate person? No.




V) Are you mentally strong? Yes.

W) Are you physically strong? I could be stronger.

X) Do you think you’re a good person? Yes.



It makes a gal think








Which is sad.


*A rather Christian notion

That went well





A good day all around.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: Margaritaville (1977)

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.






Fins to the left, fins to the right




Checking on my chicks








Friday, September 19, 2014

I want this very much

I love The Palmolive Building on Michigan Avenue. It's a beautiful, lovingly restored art deco building and that light you see is called The Lindbergh Beacon. It dates back to the 1930s when it helped pilots fly into Chicago from over the Lake. Of course with today's air traffic controllers it's no longer necessary, but it still shines every night, rotating a full 360º. 

Quite possibly the coolest condo in the building is now up for sale! It was actor Vince Vaughn's bachelor pad, and now that he's a sedate married man and a father, he's put it on the block for just under $15 million.

What will my $14.9 million get me? The top three floors. The 35th floor will be my bedroom and personal bath, as well as four guest bedrooms and two more bathrooms.

The elevator won't stop at 35, though. The bedrooms are connected by stairs to the living room on the 36th floor. That's where my foyer (and elevator entrance), living room, dining room and kitchen (including butler's pantry) are. 

From the terrace
Another set of stairs takes me to the the 37th floor, the penthouse. That's where my game room is. Computers, big screen TV, pool table, and bar. My private terraces will give me unparalleled views of Michigan Avenue and Oak Street Beach.

Best of all, the 37th floor was, for many years, the office of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner. I like this idea of this unrepentant 1970s vintage feminist putting her feet up there.

A new day

In the late 1980s and early 90s I clocked a lot of hours volunteering at the animal shelter. One of my duties was watching how prospective pet parents interacted with the adoptable cats. I was asked to do a little prescreening and raise a red flag if someone expressed outmoded animal care ideas.

"Naturally I'll let him out at night. Cats need to roam."
"I don't want to get her fixed until she has at least one litter. It's not fair to her to not let her be a mother."
"I'm going to keep him in the basement because we have mice."

Of course that was 20 years ago. We have evolved as a society and generally people recognize how dangerous it is to let our pets just "roam," and that it's safe and preferable to spay/neuter a puppy or kitten before they are old enough to mate, and that domestic cats should be companions, not "mousers."

I'm hoping that, as a society, we evolve the same way about childcare. And that whole idea that no one can tell parents how to raise their kids? It's not true. We have laws that protect children from bad parenting, as we should.

For example, in this state, you can't leave a kid of 13 or under unsupervised for any length of time. Doesn't matter that "back in the day," 13 year olds were considered old enough to baby sit. We know better now. You can't let a kid under 16 behind the wheel of your car. Doesn't matter that "back in the day," rural kids were driving trucks and tractors. We know better now. You are responsible if minors drink in your home. Doesn't matter that "back in the day," parents thought that, since kids are going to drink anyway, you think it's "safer" for them to do it at home. We know better now. You have to secure your little one in a carseat. Doesn't matter that "back in the day," you were allowed to bounce around and patrol the backseat unfettered. We know better now. If a child misses more than 18 days of class per school year, the parents can be fined or jailed. Doesn't matter that "back in the day," your parents didn't think it was "a big deal" when you skipped school. We know better now.

And it's illegal to hit a child so hard, or so often, that the kid requires medical attention. It just is. Even if you are the parent. It doesn't matter if your parents disciplined you that way "back in the day." We know better now.

We don't want a child to stop doing something because they fear corporal punishment, we want them to stop it because they know it's wrong. It's not about obedience, it's about values.There are many long-term studies -- conducted long before the current NFL scandals -- that bear this out. Children who were spanked often can grow up to be more aggressive and have an extrinsic morality.

I hope all these people who still insist that it's okay to "belt," "whup," "beat" or (a new one I just learned yesterday from my friend Tom) "chancleta" kids because their parents did it to them will open their eyes and their hearts. Saying that the way you were raised wasn't perfect doesn't mean you don't love and don't honor your parents. It means you recognize that they were human. Second guessing some of your own parenting decisions doesn't mean you don't love your children. It means you can forgive yourself for being human and that you're willing to change.

It's a new day.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Bravo! Bravo! Author! Author!

My friend in the Keys is now a published author! His novel of historic fiction is going to press tomorrow. It's a micro run (250 copies) with a vanity house, but so what? He won a grant from a local arts council and that's how he's paying for it. The fact that the arts council believes in him enough to cut him a check for a couple thousand proves that his manuscript has merit.

He is justifiably proud of himself. I am enormously pleased for him. He loves Key West so much, but has suffered quite a few career setbacks in nearly 20 years down there. He is a good person with an enormous heart, and I am thrilled that he has something to celebrate.

It shocks me

Adrian Petersen is 6'2 and weighs 215 lbs. On two separate occasions, this man has been accused of child abuse in "disciplining" his sons (two different children, with different mothers, both aged 4). He "whooped" both of these children while in the car with them. The more recent instance included a switch. Which, of course, means that he takes a stick with him when he travels with his preschooler, just in case he needs to "whoop" him.

Mr. Petersen plays for the Minnesota Vikings. At least he did. Right now he's suspended while these allegations are investigated. It's rumored that the Vikings don't want him back.

That doesn't shock me. Who isn't repulsed at the idea of a 200+ lb. man hitting a child until he leaves marks?

Apparently lots of people aren't repulsed. That's what shocks me.

Comments like these makes my skin crawl:

"I was beat as a child and I'm fine."

"We were spanked we needed it. And I spanked my kids....and if the grandkids need it...I spank them too."

I wonder if you are "fine" after being hit regularly as a child. I certainly do not believe anyone ever needs to feel a slap.

There are things about my upbringing that I question in retrospect, but here is one thing my mother got completely, unutterably right -- no spankings, ever. She believed that it teaches that "might makes right." She said kids learn that it's acceptable to handle a situation with a physical response.

I wonder how many drivers involved in road rage were "spanked" as children. I wonder how many street thugs received "whoopings." I wonder how many wife beaters got 'the belt" or "the wooden spoon." That would explain why they somehow feel that justified in acting out when they feel "disrespected."

Domestic violence -- whether man on woman or adult on child -- is a real problem in this country. And I worry that it will continue as long as people cling to the outmoded and very sad notion that just because someone is smaller than you are, you have some God given right to strike them.

And here I am, in need of a new watch

... and some gray (or maybe navy) slacks. Just in time for the Goodwill Sale! Which is good, because I can't afford to pay full price just now.

I love the Goodwill Sale. For every piece of gently used clothing or linen you bring to Carson's (or BonTon or Bergner's, depending on where you live), you get a coupon for up to 25% something new. So you're cleaning out your closet, you're saving on something new, and you're helping someone in your community get a job.

I'll be going this weekend. I have at least two blouses earmarked for this. Yea!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014






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I'm in a bad mood.





So let's look at this another way.





I've got to get my mind right.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Guilty pleasure

I'm an unabashed eavesdropper. Today, while I was part of the crowd waiting to cross Michigan and Randolph, I listened in on two very different conversations.

1) Woman on her phone: "… no, I don't know if I'll make it back in time … no, it's not fun … no, I don't know who's idea it was …" She was so unhappy, pulled so taut. When she got back to the office and discovered who's idea it was, well, I feel sorry for that person.

2) Two rather merry thirtysomething men: "He was fun to talk to until the meds wore off." "They let him go home that soon? Where did he have it done?" "Well, it wasn't a strip mall. It's not like you can have something like that done at a tanning parlor." "Strip mall brain surgery!" (Much laughter)  Brain surgery? I wonder how serious it could have been if the patient's friends were this jovial about it.

Feeling it

In less than 60 days I turn (gulp) 57. Suddenly I'm aware of my years.

•  It's harder to stand up after I've been sitting for a while

•  I completely forget common words (Sunday, after church, I kept saying, "you know, the thing" when I was referring to an insert in the bulletin)

•  The skin around my eyes is as thin, and as wrinkled, as tissue paper

I'm not digging any of this. But, alas, I can only stave it off, I can't completely prevent it. And I'm lucky it's taken me this long to start seriously showing my years on the outside.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

I gave $20!

Does that count?



Saturday, September 13, 2014

Sunday Stealing

Celebrity Obsession 

01. First Celebrity Obsession or Crush Since I was only about 3, I have no memory of this, but my mother told me I used to cry inconsolably during Bonanza, a show my father insisted we watch each Sunday. It took her a while to figure out I only got upset if someone hit or (God forbid) shot Little Joe.

02. Favorite Celebrity Encounter In 1981 I partied with Bruce Springsteen. He was kind and smart and when he kissed me -- yes, he bent me back and kissed me -- he tasted like beer. It was perfect.

03. Most Cherished Celebrity Obsession  My all time idol is JBKO, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. I know she'd hate being regarded as a celebrity, since she appreciated her place in history, but her fame extended far beyond the White House.

04. A celebrity you’d love to hang out with  Jackson Galaxy from Animal Planet's My Cat from Hell.

05. A celebrity you’d love to sit down and have a conversation with  Robert Osborne! He's a host on TCM and I just adore him. He's an articulate expert on classic cinema and seems like a gentle man and a gentleman.

06. An artist you’d like to see live Sir Paul. Always and forever Sir Paul.

07. A celebrity you respect purely for talent Woody Allen. Because his talent is undeniable and frankly, there is nothing else to admire about him. I often wonder why God so gifted such a shitty excuse for a man.

08. A celebrity you feel you’d be good friends with Joe and Mika from MSNBC's Morning Joe. I mention both of them because I only think of them in tandem.

09. A celebrity you dislike that others seem to love Patricia Heaton. Why that shrill bitch keeps appearing on TV is a mystery. Oh well, grabbing the remote and switching the channel as soon as I see her face is good for my manual dexterity.

10. A celebrity you respect for what they’ve been through in life Again, JBKO. No one handled as much with more grace. Her parents' scandalous separation and divorce when she was 12, her father's alcoholism, her first husband's weakness for a well-turned ankle, enduring five difficult pregnancies in 10 years yet she only brought two babies home from the hospital, the horror in that open car in Dallas, mourning with the world watching, her brother-in-law's murder, her second husband's weakness for a well-turned ankle, her step son's death, another widowhood, her mother's Alzheimer's, her sister's alcoholism, her own battle with cancer … And yet she made this difficult life look so effortless. My admiration for her knows no bounds.

11. A celebrity you share a birthday with Jamie Lee Curtis

12. A celebrity you find annoying Patricia Heaton. Or Kris Jenner. Those two embody everything icky about women.

13. Favorite under-20 celebrity I don't think I know anyone under 20. So I'll go with that venerable 24 year old, Jennifer Lawrence.

14. Favorite over-60 celebrity Streisand

15. The celebrity “fandom” that means most to you I am a Cub fan.