Sunday, March 24, 2013

Are You Living a Lie?

Two sides, same coin 

- Oscar Wilde Irish dramatist, novelist and poet (1854 - 1900) 

How often have you heard someone tell a story from their past and suddenly they use the popular phrase "I was living a LIE."

Therapists and new age healers like to throw around the term "Your Authentic Self," as if one aspect of how you behave and or feel is more real than others. As if you have a "real self" and a "fictional self."

Imagine telling that to a judge in court "Sorry your honor, I know you have footage of me robbing that 711 but that wasn't my authentic self."

Have you ever laughed at someone's joke even though you didn't REALLY find it funny? You simply laughed so that the person telling the joke wouldn't feel bad? That is an example of you not being your "authentic self."

Now think of a crossdresser, a guy that enjoys dressing up like a woman. A large number of crossdressers and those folks who WITNESS how crossdressers behave, feel as if there must be something terribly wrong with crossdressers. They think that crossdressers are out of touch with reality, that they are FAKE, and that clearly they are not being their "authentic self."

People feel crossdressers are weird. Period.

It is not weird at all. I would say it is not fake either. It is as normal as an executive wearing a suit and tie who is very respectable and proper, who conducts very serious business meetings by day and then who later becomes a fanatic screaming like a wild animal at a sporting event. Which one, I ask you, is the authentic self?

The problem with crossdressing, if at all, is not so much with crossdressing since the act is harmless, but the issue lies with how crossdressing is viewed. There is an invisible realm that non-crossdressers can't see. To the outside world a crossdresser is a man dressed as a women, but in the internal world of the crossdresser the crossdresser experiences the world differently. Crossdressers can FEEL the difference within themselves when they are dressed as female.

Picture yourself stepping into an elevator. The doors close. Now you are in a small windowless box that is not moving. You press a button and BAM, your body FEELS as if the room you are in is either moving up or moving down. You are still in the SAME room yet the room FEELS different. It's similar to crossdressing. The crossdreser knows he is still in the same BODY, but the world FEELS different. He feels feminine, soft, sexy, attractive, adventurous, daring, fun, excited, flirtatious, HAPPY, FREE. The crossdresser may feel these emotions when he is in masculine mode as well but tapping into the feminine frequency makes these emotions feel a bit different. Crossdressing becomes a new and fun way to experience the world in which we live in. It's the difference between driving an 18 wheel truck and a Ferrari.

For crossdressers this thrill can never last since the act of crossdressing is a journey with a beginning, a middle, and an end. The experience comes to an end when the crossdresser takes his heels off and he packs up the wig. Then comes creeping into his head the question "was that really me who dressed like a woman and felt those emotions?  Is that my authentic self? Am I me, or am I my femme self?"

This type of personal reflection can be traumatic but it can also give the individual a great insight of what lies at their core. It can be a spiritual awakening. He may come to the realization that as Rupaul says, "We're all born naked, and the rest is drag."

And that's no lie.