Tina Rowley


Filtering by Tag: nader for biggest doughnut

there will be ratatouille, or, george clooney for best actress

Oh, Oscars. Why do you keep happening while I have a tiny child and see no movies? I am forced to root exclusively for Michael Clayton and Ratatouille.

Damn it. But tomorrow I will be here with my Oscar Lady Outfit Review.

P.S. to Ralph Nader: Listen, you big doughnut. If you're so aflame with desire to make third parties viable in this country, you might consider popping up during some off years and helping Green party candidates get elected at local levels. Like, you know, build a foundation. Instead of trying to suddenly erect a giant skyscraper atop a small pile of cookie dough every four years. Also, I'd love to hear what you imagine you'd accomplish if you were magically deposited into the Oval Office next January, what with your pockets simply overflowing with political capital like they are. Hello, young chap! You look bright-eyed! Fetch me the biggest goose in yon shop there and I'll give you twenty-five shiny pieces of political capital!* Because I'm in a good mood and I can!

*I just like saying political capital. I think it makes me sound smart.**

**And this makes me sound self-aware!***

***That goes double for this!