What is the One Word Needed for Happy Relationships?

Countless iconic leaders have boasted to the world how they've clawed their way to the top by setting goals, writing them down and tackling them one by one.

Come on, let’s be realistic! Nobody, no matter how talented, can just predict and script their future. Failure is a crucial ingredient in the recipe for success! Disappointment is actually one of the greatest tools for learning how to grow stronger. Without a healthy amount of frustration, we cannot develop the resilience we really need to be successful. It is only through a hearty serving of disappointment that we learn to become great!

This rule is true for school and business, and perhaps most importantly, adaptability is one word needed for all successful relationships! 

Every relationship starts with shared foundations. However, they are meant to adapt over time as we hit unexpected bumps along the way. Yet, when one spouse is too rigid to flex, the relationship eventually starts to break under the pressure.

I recall counseling one of my clients, a wonderful middle-aged couple, who reached an impasse. The husband argued that when they agreed to get married, she was dead set on staying home to raise the children. However, 15 years later, she found herself bored and unfulfilled at home and wanted to return to school to pursue her career. He felt that she was abandoning her word, and even worse, their children. She felt that her husband no longer respected her happiness.

What were they to do? The answer is simple. Adapt!

Just because something worked in the past, does not mean you should not revisit it as time goes on and people change. Adaptability is a necessary skill that everyone is familiar with.

detourWe’ve all had the experience of being in the car and getting lost. What do you do - pull over and end the drive? No, you simply reroute, even if it means taking a different road altogether.

The same is true in relationships. When a couple has their first big fight and realizes that the honeymoon is over, it does not mean that they pull off to the side of the road and end the relationship. It simply means that you are dealing with a temporary bump in the road. Whenever you have two different people with different opinions and perspectives, they each need to learn how to adapt. This starts by being humble, actively listing, and lovingly supporting one another.

Only with the maturity to understand that a relationship requires constant work to maintain the love and respect, will they find lasting happiness together.

Think of it this way: We can flex now, or break later. Why not give that gift to the one you love and make the relationship long-lasting and full of happiness? 

10 thoughts on “What is the One Word Needed for Happy Relationships?

  1. Adapt. Yes! This was so well said, Ari. I thought about my college daughter when reading this today. Our relationship is evolving into something more adult-to-adult and I’m trying to keep up with the changes.

  2. Hi! I heard a therapist to say that the decision to stay and work on the relationship also is a way to keep the relationship. Many times couples stopped fighting and decide to divorce. This therapist also said that a relationship begin with love and to mantain love you have to adapt to changes and decide to work for the couple. Nice piece Ari! Thanks again for sharing.

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