Looking Back on… the 2012 Year in Review Staff Commentaries

(This year is notable for two things: first, I took over as the person who posted the yearly recap articles from Alex, who was getting burned out in 2010/2011, for good reason, and second, I lifted the word count cap on write-ups, so expect this to be long as fuck.)

Mark B.’s Top Ten
Senior Editor

1.) Persona 4 Golden (Vita)
2.) XCOM: Enemy Unknown (360)
3.) Resident Evil: Revelations (3DS)
4.) Hitman: Absolution (360)
5.) Far Cry 3 (360)
6.) Zero Escape: Virtue’s Last Reward (Vita)
7.) Tekken Tag Tournament 2 (360)
8.) Doom 3: BFG Edition (360)
9.) Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City (360)
10.) Dance Central 3 (360)

(I could kind of see swapping Hitman and Far Cry 3 there, since ultimately Far Cry 3 was the game that occupied more of my time, but the rest of the list is more or less fine as is. 2012 was really kind of an odd year for me, gaming-wise, as a lot of the games I played weren’t great, so you end up with a list that’s a third classics, a third “shit I think is fine now but wouldn’t honor with anything,” and a third “shit I don’t have much of an opinion of anymore,” so this should be fun.)

While I’m certainly happy with my list this year, don’t get me wrong, I’m actually fairly sad about what’s not on it. Mass Effect 3, (Too much ghost kid and the ending sucked, though the last DLC redeemed the game somewhat.) Resident Evil 6, (WHICH SOMEHOW MADE A FUCKING PROFIT, against all common sense.) Assassin’s Creed 3, (Snore.) Ninja Gaiden 3, (Y’know, a rep from Tecmo Koei sent me a copy of the updated version, and I still couldn’t get into it.) all games I felt would easily be on the list this year up until the moment that I played them. Not that they were bad (well, maybe Ninja Gaiden 3….) so much as they were underwhelming in comparison to other entries in their franchises, entries I rather liked, and I simply didn’t find them to be worth celebrating. (That happened a good amount this year too, come to that.) Further, a lot of great games came out this year, like Dishonored, (Downloaded it free on XBLA, still haven’t played it.) Tokyo Jungle (I have since decided that this should’ve been in the Top Ten, but too little, too late.) and Sleeping Dogs, (Still haven’t played it.) that I simply didn’t have time for this year for one reason or another, and while I certainly got to enjoy the games I did play, it’s always disappointing to miss out on games everyone seems to like quite a bit. If there were magically thirteen months in the year, and one of those months somehow featured absolutely no game releases that I wanted to play during it, there would probably be a few things on the current list that would be cycled out in favor of other games, but that’s not to say that the list I’ve come up with is one I’m not confident with. (This has become something of a running issue for me; basically, without getting into specifics, my life has become the biblical story of Job, and a combination of personal issues, work advancement and continuing long-term education have sapped my ability to game to the degree I did only four years prior. Getting old sucks man.) On the contrary, in fact, as even though there are games I missed out on that I’m sure I would enjoy, the ten games on my list are certainly ten games I had an exceptionally large amount of fun with this year, and I’m glad I got to play them at the very least.

I’m not what you’d call a dancer (well, not without sarcastic laughter involved), so I’ve never been particularly interested in the various dancing games that have come out for the consoles, outside of Dance Dance Revolution, which is more “spastic foot movements” than “dancing”. For those who have been following along through the podcasts and such, however, I’d been working on a rather involved exercise regimen that ended up tanking due to a shoulder injury (more or less), and having heard the benefits of such games before, I picked up Dance Central 3 during a sale, figuring I had nothing to lose trying it out. (Basically I destroyed my shoulder after eight months of yoga helped me drop a hundred pounds, and, well, I put that shit right back on again. Getting old sucks man.) Well, it turns out that this camera looking device sitting on top of my television that Microsoft claims is meant to be for gaming isn’t entirely a torture device, as Dance Central 3 is basically awesome even if you can’t dance worth a damn. The game is more than willing to forgive that you’re a terrible dancer, the soundtrack features a wide variety of fun songs, and the game offers a pretty intense workout if you’re looking for some exercise to go along with your gaming. It’s basically the first really good game I’ve played on the Kinect so far, and while I feel like someone, somewhere will eventually do something with the system that makes it really easy to recommend as a peripheral, this is likely as close as we’re going to get at this point. (Nope; Microsoft forced its inclusion in the Xbox One and that decision tanked so hard that they patched it out and released a version without it, and aside from more dancing games, nothing of note has come out for the device since.)

I know a lot of people really didn’t enjoy Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City on the review circuit, and I didn’t enjoy The Walking Dead so clearly I’m not in touch with anything most gamers would agree with. (I still don’t fucking understand how we’re in a position where everyone’s okay with Telltale Games pulling an EA and releasing the same game four times in a calendar year with different plots and environments, such that people are nominating two of those games for shitloads of awards. In two years everyone’s going to turn on them after Minecraft: Story Mode and the fourth fucking Walking Dead game for doing the same thing ad infinitum, and I want on record that I hated Telltale before hating Telltale was cool. Fuck you, I’m a gaming hipster, there, I said it.) That said, the Resident Evil series has largely been heading in the “action over horror” direction since Resident Evil 4, which isn’t the worst possible thing if handled properly, and while I’m not in the camp that thinks Resident Evil 6 was “handling it properly,” (Now THERE’S an understatement.) I’m fine with Operation Raccoon City. I tend to like the idea of Capcom releasing experimental side stories in the Resident Evil universe, even if the games tend to suck out loud, but further, I like Operation Raccoon City because if you have a full group of players, it’s an astonishingly large amount of fun. I mean, yeah, the bosses take way too much damage to kill, (The term Joel uses is “bullet sponge,” so, I guess someday we’re going to see a boss in Borderlands named “Spongebob Bulletpants” or some shit.) and yeah, the AI is completely bone stupid when you’re working alone, but even then you can still make progress so it’s hardly the end of the world. Further, when you’re playing with others, the game is fun, mostly because it’s entertaining running around, murdering franchise enemies with your team of mercs, especially if you find one you happen to like (mine being Four Eyes, in this case). (Four Eyes was super rad, you don’t even know.) It’s certainly not the most mechanically sound game, but it’s one of the few online multiplayer games I really enjoyed this year, even in spite of its flaws, so here it is, and here we are.

Doom 3: BFG Edition is one of those entries that speaks more from my general lack of enthusiasm over Halo-styled first person shooters (I’m not calling it Call of Duty-styled because Halo invented it, shut up) (The general rule of thumb is that *I* name the mechanic after the game that did it first, while most people name it after the game that did it the most successfully. So, I call ATE’s Shenmue things, while everyone else calls them God of War things, and I call COD systems Halo systems, unless I’m being lazy. I do, however, refer to goofy dancing games as DDR style minigames, because while Parapa the Rappa did that concept first, DDR did the specific system first that people emulate, and FPS games are generally assumed to be emulating Doom because in that case, it’s the same developer and Doom is shorter to type.) that basically have taken over the genre en masse. Recharging shields/health and two gun capacities are… well, slightly more realistic than health packs and backpacks that can carry every gun ever made, but I don’t play video games for realism, I play them to have fun, so the current state of the FPS genre doesn’t wholly impress me. Black Ops 2 is technically competent and I enjoyed it fine, but given the choice between having every gun ever and enemies who take a lot of ammo to kill or active time event boss fights, it’s not even a competition at that point. Serious Sam 3 scratched that itch to a point, but Doom 3 is more in line with what was great about the genre “back in the day” as it were, and the BFG Edition comes packed with so much content that it was an easy purchase, one I didn’t regret in the least. I know that it’s not a well received FPS and a lot of people don’t like the scripted enemy spawn setup or the flashlight system, but I didn’t play the game to be scared, I played it to shoot demons in the face, and hey, it let me do that a lot. Sometimes I’m a simple man, I don’t know what to tell you. (To be fair, the BFG Edition lets you constantly wield the flashlight, so it’s an improvement on that front if nothing else.)

The fighting game genre seemed like it was going to be huge this year, with new entries in the Tekken, Soul Calibur, Virtua Fighter and Dead or Alive franchises, as well as Persona 4 Arena and Street Fighter X Tekken coming out, but… I don’t know. Dead or Alive 5 just felt like an overpriced also-ran expansion pack (Which is coming up on its third revision in the next few months; say what you will about Itagaki, but dude would release a game, commit to it, then move on, not do the “new update as a standalone game every year” deal.), Virtua Fighter 5 Final Showdown basically felt like a needless update of Virtua Fighter 5 Online, Soul Calibur V changed too much and left out too many interesting characters (Yeah, first rule of thumb for any franchise that does some kind of time skip/reboot/roster change: find your most popular characters and fighting styles and incorporate that shit in there somehow. Shit, it’s not like Soul Calibur V didn’t have a goddamn character creation system; they could’ve just made the styles available for custom characters or some shit. It also didn’t help that a bunch of the new cast were annoying as fuck.) , and Persona 4 Arena and Street Fighter X Tekken were… unexciting, to me. (I’ve since come around on Persona 4 Arena, mostly because the sequel was rad and stuffed full of content. SFXT, on the other hand, was fine but not good, and it’s been more or less purged from the tournament scene so I’m clearly not the only person who thinks so.) For some reason, though, Tekken Tag Tournament 2 worked for me in a way none of the other games I was more interested in than it could, to the extent that I didn’t stop playing it until I basically did everything I could possibly do with it. The controls were as solid as ever, the game looks and sounds fantastic, and I was still able to wreck people (to a limited extent) with Bob and Asuka, and for whatever reason, that was enough to keep me interested. The expanded character customization and novel additions made to the formula certainly helped as well, as the game didn’t just feel like Tekken Tag Tournament so much as it felt like a logical evolution, one I enjoyed immensely. Oh, there’s also the fact that Namco Bandai gave me a crapload of free characters months after the fact instead of (hypothetically) asking for twenty bucks to unlock on-disc content, which is basically going to be a big factor in impressing the cynic in me if nothing else. (That’s a reference to Capcom charging twenty bucks for content that was already on the disc in SFXT, which was entirely a known thing months beforehand and basically pissed off a whole lot of people for obvious reasons. Namco then went on to release free-to-play versions of Soul Calibur and Tekken, thus invalidating all of the above praise more or less instantly, but it was nice for a little while at least.) For my money, Tekken Tag Tournament 2 was the best fighting game of the year, and it’s certainly the one I spent the most time with, if nothing else.

I pretty much knew Virtue’s Last Reward wasn’t going to be as good as 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors going in. It couldn’t have been; the latter was a game written with no definitive sequel in mind as a standalone story, while the former had to expand the latter to open up for a sequel while also leaving room for its own sequel down the road. (To be fair, VLR did a fine job explaining how the events of 999 transitioned into the events of VLR, even if said events end up being super fucking depressing, especially for Junpei. Seriously, if you’ve played both games, really stop and think about his life progression, and what sort of long-term payoff he gets as a character. Say what you will, but it’s not at all surprising that the Zero Escape series can’t get funding for a third game, and frankly, that doesn’t sadden me in the least.) It’s certainly possible to make that happen (Aliens compared to Alien) but it isn’t likely, especially if the original is a massive fan favorite (Ghostbusters 2 compared to Ghostbusters). While Virtue’s Last Reward seemed to be a bit too up its own ass at times, too self satisfied with its scientific explanations and thought experiment discussions, (Pages and pages and pages…) for the most part, I wasn’t expecting 999 going in, and I was basically pleased with what we did get. While some of the plot twists that came up were telegraphed, more than enough were completely out of nowhere but made perfect sense in context, and the overall plot was interesting enough to make up for the few instances where things were overly windy or obvious. (In retrospect, VLR got a little too sci-fi at times; there’s a big difference between the hypothetical possibility of alternate realities influencing the events of other realities and how learning information in one reality allows you to communicate with another reality to transfer that information along so as to achieve the best possible reality, and cloning.) Mechanically, the game also does a really good job of mixing things up, as it doesn’t force you to repeat puzzles and ensures that there is a unique challenge behind every door, and the flowchart system allows you to jump around in the plot with no difficulty. (The original game had a small handful of endings, and required you to play over again from jump every time you wanted to see a different ending; VLR made the conscious decision to say “everyone playing this game played the first one,” and simply made a giant flowchart that allowed you to jump to specific points in time to solve puzzles with information from other points in the flowchart, which was honestly really cool.) Virtue’s Last Reward was never going to be better than 999, and when viewed in comparison doesn’t seem so impressive, but taken on its own merits it was a fun and interesting ride, and if nothing else, it built a strong foundation for the inevitable third game. (Not so inevitable, it turns out.) I couldn’t ask for much more than that.

Looking at Far Cry 3, it’s interesting to note how many additions the game features that seem to come from the mentality of “well it worked for Assassin’s Creed,” especially when one realizes how many of them work. (I don’t know what’s weirder; that Ubisoft is basically making Assassin’s Creed full-time now between this, that and Watch Dogs, or that they effectively made a better Mirror’s Edge than EA did.) Climbing tall structures to reveal more of the map, liberating locations to take them for your cause, sneaking around and using stealth tactics to take enemy installations instead of brute force, these are all elements that made Far Cry 3 feel like something unique, even though Ubisoft Montreal has been doing these same things for years, just in a different series. Granted, the strong storyline, excellent presentation and general freedom of the experience certainly help a lot, but a big part of what was interesting about the game in the long term was the experimental nature of the product. (Oddly enough, the storyline of Far Cry 3 remains one of the most controversial things about it; many, including myself and Yahtzee, think the plot was great because it treated the violence and situation seriously and showed the semi-realistic consequences these would have on a normal person, while others, most notably Robert Brockaway of Cracked, think it’s white imperialist bullshit. Fortunately Far Cry 4 fixed that by having a plot essentially no one likes, so there’s that at least.) At the end of the day, it’s still a first person shooter, sure, and it certainly wasn’t “Skyrim with guns” (which would be Fallout 3), but it also manages to expand on the “sandbox FPS” idea developers have been kicking around in a logical and interesting way. As such, the game supports many different play styles, allowing the player all kinds of crazy options, like unleashing caged animals on unsuspecting guards, sniping from the bushes, ninja-stabbing everyone they see and more, which makes the whole experience a lot more fun. Yeah, the driving sucks, but I don’t play FPS games to drive, I play them to shoot things, and Far Cry 3 offered many creative and interesting ways to accomplish this task, which is all I can really ask for, and as such, I liked it quite a bit. (I’ve since skipped out on Far Cry 4, entirely because I realized early that Dragon Age: Inquisition and Persona Q would occupy the vast majority of my time and I didn’t want to be distracted. Sorry Ubisoft, all I wanted to do this year was laugh at you, either intentionally with South Park or otherwise.)

That said, Hitman: Absolution offered me even more creative and interesting ways to end people, and challenged me to do so intelligently (which is a weird way to describe it on consideration), which is why it ranks higher overall here. (Anita Sarkeesian and I should probably never be seated next to one another at dinner parties.) Granted, Hitman: Absolution isn’t as robust, overall, as Far Cry 3 and I’m not going to try to pretend that it is. It tends to punish you for out-and-out combat, lacks substantial multiplayer options, and tends to be more about one specific style of play over allowing the player significant play style options. (It expects you to play it like Tenchu with guns, in other words.) That said, however, the game embraces its concept and, instead of trying to expand on what the player can do, focuses on offering the player numerous ways to accomplish the one task assigned them. I mean, sure, I can say “I unleashed a tiger on an enemy base and watched it rend the inhabitants asunder” in Far Cry 3, but how many times can you say you killed a target by dropping a whale skeleton on them, or by detonating a remote mine in a gas station, or by hooking up the sink to the power generator and frying the target when they washed their hands? It’s a subtle distinction, if you think about it: Far Cry 3 is satisfying because it allows you to be a tactically violent jerk, while Hitman: Absolution is satisfying because it allows you to be a creative, sadistic jerk. That’s… not an especially flattering portrait to paint, in fairness, but I killed a target by dressing up as a luchador and beating his ass in an MMA match, okay? If I need to explain why that’s hilarious we can’t be friends. (The especially weird thing to me about Hitman is that, for all of the obvious issues the game has with women, and make no mistake it really does, I barely remember those parts, but the creativity allowed by the mechanics sticks with me to this day. Honestly, with Hitman especially, while others have argued that the game has a desensitizing effect on the player, I just tend to think it’s because the characters are mostly stupid, and as a result not terribly memorable. Okay, you’ve put me up against an entire team of female assassins dressed up like bondage nuns. Great, but what about them? Oh, one has OCD? But that’s only relevant as a means to kill her? Well, that’s kind of my point: we aren’t desensitized to killing, rather, the characters just exist as clay pigeons for us to do dirty in the most creative way possible. That’s still bad, but it’s a different kind of bad.)

If someone had told me that the best Resident Evil game released this year was going to be the one on the 3DS at the beginning of the year, I’d have called them a crazy person, but here we are and there it is. I might have enjoyed Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City but I’m not even going to pretend it’s not a broken game, and while this might be surprising to those who have read prior reviews I’ve written about the series, I thought Resident Evil 6 was such a boring endeavor I couldn’t even be bothered to complete it, let alone review it. (It’s basically Gears of War without any of the stuff that makes Gears of War a joy to play.) However, Resident Evil: Revelations was absolutely fantastic in all of the ways it needed to be, as it stayed somewhat true to the concept of the franchise, made use of the 3DS mechanics in a way that felt right, and included a multiplayer mode that expanded beyond the normal Mercenaries mode in a logical and interesting way. Capcom streamlined the mechanics of the franchise down in a way that made sense, while keeping the core gameplay intact, and the 3DS specific gimmicks actually worked pretty well all in all. Also, instead of attempting to introduce new characters that absolutely no one cares about in an attempt to create new plot threads we’ll never see again, the game started off with a bunch of secondary characters, resolved their plots cleanly, and finished the player off with Chris and Jill working together, which was the smartest possible way to end the story. (Really, at this point Capcom seems to have realized that the only people gamers care about in the Resident Evil franchise are the characters from the first two games, so they just keep trotting out new characters to hang out with them in hopes someone else will catch on, which they almost never do. Revelations 2, for instance, features Claire Redfield in her first role since Code Veronica, Barry Burton and Barry’s daughter Moirabecause there’s no point in making new characters anymore, just make them relatives of older characters, maybe that way they’ll get over. At least they’re making another Revelations instead of, well, another RE6.) Resident Evil: Revelations ended up basically being everything the franchise should be on a handheld device, as well as every good thing Resident Evil 6 was not, and even if it ends up being the last game of its kind in the franchise, that’s not a bad note to go out on, really.

Two and a half years ago, I sat in a conference room in Los Angeles as a 2K Marin employee showed myself and several other press representatives XCOM, a first person shooter based on the old strategy franchise, and my entire thought process was “Well, at least we might see a strategy game come from this someday.” (Yeah, that was really weird, honestly; they gave us this notebook with a metal cover emblazoned with their logo, then sat us down to watch videos of upcoming games that weren’t anywhere near release and unlikely to generate much hype, like what eventually became The Bureau and some kind of mafia themed shooter. I didn’t bother going back to the 2K booth in 2011 after that.) Today, the first person shooter still has yet to come out, but someone in either 2K or Firaxis decided to try and make some money off of the license, and the end result was a reinvention of a classic series that completely defied my expectations by being really damn good. I mean, I’m kind of a dick when it comes to reinventing a franchise, especially one I liked beforehand; I was tolerant of Splatterhouse to a point, but Castlevania: Lords of Shadow took the full brunt of my abuse and Tomb Raider and DMC have been the subjects of scorn despite not even being released yet. (DmC, as it turned out, was perfectly fine, though it tried to hard to be controversial and shit so hard on the existing fanbase, even in the game, that it ended up selling piss-poor as a result; gamers don’t work the same way as movie goers, and no one’s going to drop $60 on a game that shits on their fandom just to be mad at it, which is a lesson Capcom learned far too late to do them any good. They’ve since blamed the response on the game not catching the Eastern market’s attention, but Japan only accounts for around 500,000 units, and DmC did about half the sales of Devil May Cry 4, so… maybe next time don’t antagonize your fucking fanbase? Tomb Raider, meanwhile, was an absolutely awesome game that in no way whatsoever justified itself as a reboot, and sold like gangbusters.) As such, I was all set to hate XCOM: Enemy Unknown if it didn’t manage to do something similar to the original games, and I had very little faith the game was going to be good, let alone great. Well, it turns out that I shouldn’t have doubted Firaxis and their commitment to making a classic experience, as XCOM: Enemy Unknown is, to my mind (and the minds of others here), the best game released in 2012, largely because it took what made the originals great, streamlined the experience to allow accessibility, and did so without sacrificing anything. The end result is a game that, in any other year, would have easily been my favorite game released, and was certainly the game I felt was the best to come out, such that even if the XCOM FPS is terrible when it comes out I’ll buy it just to say “thank you” for this. (It turned into a third-person shooter and 2K sent us a review copy so I ended up not having to, though as it turns out, it wasn’t terrible, just woefully misguided. Though I would honestly and seriously suggest that, since the studio has apparently been bequeathed ownership of the Bioshock franchise now that Irrational has been disolved, the majority of their problems as a developer would be resolved by firing whoever writes the plots for their games, because goddamn do they fucking suck at it. I could write a better ending to Bioshock 2 or The Bureau with a crayon clenched between my buttcheeks, while drunk on Thunderbird.)

This year, however, was basically the year that paid off my investment in the Playstation Vita (a console I have been… tolerant of at this point otherwise) (Outside of VLR, the only game I’d purchased during the first year of the Vita’s lifespan was Lumines, and a lot of the content for the console sucked out loud. Of course, this year the Vita essentially went on a rampage, which was mitigated by Sony essentially pretending the handheld didn’t exist. Sigh.) by way of Persona 4 Golden, a rerelease of what is basically my favorite Atlus RPG ever. (As an overall experience, I should qualify; the plot of Persona 2 IS/EP is better than that of P4, and several other games, like Digital Devil Saga and Strange Journey, do specific things I like more than P4, but P4 overall is the Atlus product I enjoy the most, so put down the pitchforks.) It might seem depressing to say “my favorite game this year was a rerelease of a four year old game” when one considers what this says about the rest of the games this year, but I don’t mean it as “everything else sucked” so much as “Persona 4 Golden was that damn good.” Making a game that was already pretty solid better isn’t a hard task, but making it significantly better, so much so that it justifies owning even if you have the original, isn’t always an easy task, something Atlus is certainly familiar with. While their remake of Persona on the PSP somewhat accomplishes this task, their remake of Devil Survivor on the 3DS isn’t significantly improved over the original, and Persona 3 Portable is in many respects a step backwards. (Specifically, the cutscenes are almost entirely cut out and the visuals are heavily nerfed, though you can control your party and choose a female protagonist, so it’s kind of a wash.) Persona 4 Golden, however, retains everything that made the original great and adds so much more useful and smart content that it’s almost a shame that the game is only available on a platform not many people have yet. (Since Sony has more or less made it apparent that they give not even the smallest shit about the Vita anymore they might as well just throw some money at Atlus to release P4G on the PS3 or PS4 online shop or something, so that the game can have an impact somewhere at this point.) From the rebalanced party members to the added events to the new mechanics to the extra content and beyond, the game is a joyful reinvention for fans and the best possible version to own for newcomers. I’m hopeful that a whole lot of content will come out for the Vita to justify the console to others or, failing that, that Atlus will eventually release the game on the PSN system for PS3 users, but if you have a Vita, there’s really no reason for you not to own Persona 4 Golden unless you hate fun. I’m not going to say you should run out and buy a Vita just for this game (even though I basically did), but if you happen to find yourself in possession of one, this is basically the first game you should get. (It’s also probably the best Persona rerelease/spinoff of the lot at this point, though Persona Q ain’t bad either. Side note: the guy who makes the Dangan Ronpa Abridged series on Youtube recently posted a joke video about the sudden need Atlus has to make a shitload of Persona material, which you’ve probably seen: Persona 4 Platinum. While the video is funny enough, it’s also… kind of horribly mean-spirited, though that’s clearly dude’s gimmick if you’ve ever seen Dangan Ronpa Abridged, where everyone hates everyone else and encourages you to hate them even more, which is fun in its own way. On one hand, I do kind of take exception with the idea that it’s somehow Sega’s fault that Atlus is making all these spin-offs because they were all announced before Sega took ownership, and also the fact the creator does not, in point of fact, know what a Mary Sue is. On the other, Persona Q is kind of a physical version of Fanfiction.net, and I’d totally pay money to play a game that lets me teach Nanako curse words, so we’ll say it’s mostly a win.

Though Rice Digital also proved that Naoto is, in fact, best girl, scientifically, so dude’s beat.

I mention this because I’m eagerly awaiting the video that explains how Devil Survivor 2: Break Record is all Sega’s fault, because that might actually be the case, at least partially, so if you’re reading this dude, chop fucking chop, get to work.)

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