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Category Archives: integrity

values_dwight eisenhower






integrity_brene brown

I operate from a standpoint that people are basically good and, believing that, I try to be careful with someone else’s feelings and vulnerabilities.

Yet, lately, I have been handed my trust back like a crumpled up paper bag.  I keep trying to straighten it, and myself, up right again, but it just isn’t the same.  Recently, it has happened more than once.  In fact, despite explaining openly about how painful I found it when another broke it, it happened again.

Being real has never meant that I climbed on someone else’s back, money, knowledge, experience or any other something that belonged to them, to get myself ahead.  Taking advantage of people is the opposite of how I was raised.

To me, there is no time clock; a human being who is compassionate, honest, trustworthy and genuine behaves that way 24 hours a day.   I don’t have different rules for different places and different sides of my mouth.

First, be a human being.

What is so sad is discovering just how rare that has become for many others.  I am disappointed for myself (ok, disgusted really) and heartbroken that cynicism and opportunism is celebrated more than loyalty and integrity.  Inspirational words, followed up with honest and legitimate behavior, is what will restore my faith again, one person at a time.

what is important to you.jpg


What has restored your faith in humanity?


jim morrison_dont believe in everything you see

We write to inspire, to create, to carve out a piece of the world that belongs to us, but choose to share with others.

Yet, publicly expressing how we feel is scary.  Some of us try to avoid controversy or conflict, in hopes of being kinder, gentler, and not succumbing to negative judgments. The reality is we are aware of more negative responses than positive ones.

Those who judge us most harshly, often choose not to see the truth, nor inquire at the source to find it, but pass along hearsay or false information pretending that it is real.

As they say, there are none so blind as those who will not see….

Telling the truth is controversial because it makes us vulnerable to those who would twist it or use pieces of it to create their version of reality.   When did caring become so rare and gentle honesty removed from daily interactions?  Having strong opinions leads to change, especially if we are willing to open our hearts and minds, in addition to our mouths.

Some people bully others into silence and we are told not to speak. So how can someone claim to know us by causing us to remain unheard?

A person who does not speak to me, nor respect my opinion, cannot claim to speak for me. Choosing to misrepresent the truth doesn’t make it so; it just creates conflict and controversy.  If the point is to be the loudest person in the room, controversy will be achieved.

But, resolution and honest communication don’t stand a chance.









Being empathetic and sensitive means we observe and consider all the time.  We absorb our environment and the energy of the places and people that we encounter.  Being so finely tuned to others’ personalities, comments, and unspoken wants and needs, we process both good and bad.

Speaking for myself, I don’t forget.  For better or worse, I have a very long memory and a strong desire for justice and honesty.  Once I have encountered someone who has lied to me, or about me, I cannot just brush it off.  I will behave honorably because that is how I choose to live my life, and in the scheme of things, I want to be better than I was yesterday and continue to learn from the lessons that life has in store for me.

The dilemma is that I can see the craving for attention, the desire to engage, insecurities, and drive in someone else, but while being attentive, I have to protect myself.  It is a delicate balance between head and heart all the time.  It is easy, as a sensitive person, to get sucked into someone else’s drama.  Because we consider people to be inherently good, and seek to empathize, it can take a long time to accept that they have betrayed us or behaved so abusively.  We could never imagine treating others like that, so when it happens to us, it can be a shock to the system. It is so different than how we want to approach the world and create positive change and lasting kindness.


Considering each step and each word is a delicate attempt to reach for the high road.  Does it improve us, or the environment, for the better?  I will be polite and courteous hoping that the future, and I, will grow more patient, tolerant, and kind.

I continue to whisper a prayer to accept what I cannot change and change what I can accept.  





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