Anger and Epilepsy

No.  I am not stating there is a correlation between anger and epilepsy.  Well, there might be a correlation between somebody's irritability that is causing anger that is caused by epilepsy but that is not the point of this post at all.
This past few weeks I have been having serious anxiety.  Anxiety leads to anger and it's been hard to control it.  My self esteem has been hurting lately.  I have also found that my tolerance for BS is nil.  I have too much on my plate to deal with nonsense.  I am not going to put it out there what my trigger was but I will say that if this particular person could have been honest and said that they didn't want to do something, they could have said so instead of saying "Yes" and then ignoring all follow up texts and calls.  It's disrespectful to my time and it shows you have zero respect for me and my daughter.

Two months ago, Emma had her routine EEG.  Well, they are never routine for her.  She will never have a normal one but it is routine monitoring.  Her neurologist was very concerned over her last EEG- it showed constant seizure activity but no outward signs- i.e., she was talking normally and didn't gaze off or space out.  So, we had her follow up for it yesterday.  Once again, more concerns.  This EEG showed she had lots of seizures and this time, there WERE noticeable signs.

I feel like an ass.

The signs? Unable to answer questions.  (i.e., I thought she was just ignoring us.  She was looking at us but just not answering).  Looking off the the left.

Why do I feel like an ass? I was getting really mad at her lately because she was ignoring me.  Often.  I would become frustrated.  Also, she started doing things she hasn't done in a year- unbuckling herself on the transport van and school bus and standing up.

At least, now I know why she has been ignoring me and it wasn't due to being a Tween.  It was epilepsy.  Her neuro is increasing her seizure medicine, Carbatrol.  She wanted to increase her Topamax but I am not comfortable with it.  I know that Topamax is much more helpful for her BUT due to kidney issues (her two sisters died from dysplastic kidney disease shortly after birth and my dad also suffered end stage renal failure) and the fact she doesn't drink enough water (no matter how much we all push it!), I am can't jeopardize her health.  Carbatrol is filtered through the liver.  Topamax effects the kidneys and it increases kidney stone/infection and dehydration risks. I live in the desert.  I want to increase it but not until I know she is drinking more than enough water.

Also, it's Child Abuse Awareness Month.  I will be posting some information throughout the month! I miss Brain Injury Awareness last month but I won't miss Child Abuse Awareness.


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