50 ways to annoy people in the computer lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream Oh my God! Theyve found me! and bolt.


3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you cant get the darn thing to work. After he/shes turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.


5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one its set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the Smurfs theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.



9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you dont know.


11. Bring a chainsaw, but dont use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say Just in case… mysteriously.


13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if theyre crazy while typing.

14. Light candles around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, Oops, I forgot.

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease, and scream YES! when it finishes.




20. If youre sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing The Lion Sleeps Tonight whenever there is processing time required.


22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesnt work, get the supervisor.




26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grind some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbors keyboard as you leave.




31. Laugh hysterically, shout You will all perish in flames!!! and continue working.



34. Attempt to eat your computers mouse.

35. Borrow someone elses keyboard by reaching over, saying Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?, unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.



39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isnt affected). Then look at your neighbors keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: Does *your* delete key work? Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until youve deleted about a page of your neighbors document. Then, suddenly exclaim: Well, whaddya know? Ive been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasnt deleting! Ha! Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmers Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say You did that? loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell COVEEEEERRRRRR! peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. Oh, good. It worked this time, and calmly start to type again.


44. See whos online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like youve known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out youre a total stranger.

45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend its the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesnt work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim Youre such a marvel!!, and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout Armageddon is here!!!!!, then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, Give me that computer or youll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week.

50. Two words: Tesla Coil.

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