Monday, January 24, 2005

I just want to...

I just want to...

- SHOUT because you piss me of... but I don't do that because I respect you too much to do that. I know that if i did shout you will be upset and hurt, therefore I keep silent... but remember that one day I will burst and God help us all then. So, please just shut up sometimes ok?

- HIT you because you make me angry... but I can't because again I respect you too much but don't tempt me. One day I will just get into a rage and then... yeah... I apologize in advance though.

- ask you to SHUT UP... but what good would that do? Y0u will open your gab another time and the same things will flow out of it again and hurt me once more... so in short, please hold your tongue in check when you talk to me. If its not constuctive shut up.

- tell you to MIND YOUR OWN BUSSINESS... but I can't. I care too much about your feelings to tell you to stop harressing me... but I have my own shite to deal with so stop adding more troubles to me. Thanks!

- SCREAM at you... but I reckon no use will come out of me shouting, though I will feel heaps better. Maybe I will try this soon.

- RANT & RAVE about it all... bitching is good... but no one tends to really care or understand so the ranting and raving falls on deaf ears... no point really... cos I want to hear some advice.

- SMACK myself for being so stupid... but no matter how much I smack myself it doesn't hurt and in the end I just get tired for no reason in particular. Maybe I will smack my pillow or the wall or something.

- FORGET all the shitty things that has happened... this is difficult to do thanks to really "wonderful" people who keep reminding you of the bad shites that has happened. So how can one forget what they have done and move on?

- REMEMBER only the good things... but the bad things still crowd my thoughts but I try not to dwell on it because the bad things have helped me become the person that I am today.

- RUNAWAY from this life... but then where would I go and who would I become? Any ideas?

- ROB a bank... how sad as I don't have the agility, the equipment or the intellect to do so.

- DRIVE up and down the highway on full speed... yeah... pray that the day I do this, no one I know will be on the road.

- DRINK myself to 'mabukness'... hopefully no one I know has a video camera with them and that they ar equally in the same state as I am in.

- DANCE till I am lame... or perhaps dance till I am too sick and tired.

- ask you to LEAVE me alone... PLEASE quit bugging me and reminding m
e about the past. Its the past stop harressing me.

- EAT all the Jamoca Almond Fudge till I am sick... sadly its too expensive and I can hardly afford 3 sccops... *sigh*

- PACK up my bags and go to Australia... I would probably need to beg at the corner road for the next couple of months, sell all my stuff and then some to finally get there. So set up the "send DreamWeaver to Aussie fund"... thanks!

- CUT up all my lettersets, cards and memory shites... that way I have less things with me and I have more space of other rubbish though I will sorely regret doing this as I have been collecting them since forever.

- BURN all my things... a good way to erase my past, though I know like cutting up my things, I will regret it so much.


HabitualDamnation said...

i'd contribute 10pounds via paypal for your migration to OZ but if you do settle down someday i want a place to come holiday in recognition of my kindness.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreamweaver,
if there's one thing you should do, is to not let hell into your piece of heaven. Like me, you need a holiday..... we all need a holiday! But unless you've taken care of what you should've taken care of, it's just gonna hit you back right in the face even after spending time away from your problems. Don't let what's bugging you drag on. If there's something you should say, something you should highlight, do it. If not, it's time to start considering about your own happiness and if it's worth hanging on to such a problem.

But in anycase, do what you can but don't take too long. Time can be as much of a killer as much as it can be a healer.

Always remember, it's what you think and how you feel that's important.

Jin said...

Hmm.. I'm in but I cant put the freaking dollar in my computer to give you this Joe.. Sorry...

XD.. cheers...

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