Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Why I Oppose the Two Party System

Donald Trump says he doesn't want to be politically correct & he seems to go the extra mile--& of the country variety at that--to prove it. Not only is he not politically correct, he's not remotely correct . . . about anything! The flamboyant celebrity gazillionaire, known primarily for his ostentatious comb-over that covers the vast vacuity beneath, wants to run America like a business. In other words, he plans to bankrupt America within two years so that he can buy it back for pennies on the dollar.  Of course, legally, he'll have to rename it, say, the United States of Trump, but it'll be the same great country, only better. For instance, no whiners.

Like a hairy Trump, Carly Fiorina, the former HP exec, also wants to run the country like a business, you know, down the drain.  For fuck's sake, when will people learn that a government shouldn't be run like a fucking business? For one thing, a so-called democratic nation's main goal isn't to make a fucking profit, but to serve its people, all its people, not just the fucking 1%.

Hillary "Nuke 'Em" Clinton apparently considers Edward Snowden a traitor who should do time for leaking classified information. At the same time, Clinton, who doesn't understand irony, says she's being persecuted by the investigation into her emails in which she potentially revealed classified information.  More ironically--that is to say, moronically--she should know, thanks to Snowden's revelation, the government is monitoring all our electronic communications, so her private email account was not/is not secure.  Clinton also says Snowden should have stayed in the good ol' US of A, where, as a whistleblower, he would have been protected by the law--except the law apparently doesn't apply to those employed as national security contractors.  To be fair, Clinton couldn't be expected to know something like this; after all, she's not a lawyer, is she?  Besides, look how well the whistleblower laws have worked against the Espionage Act.

Damn, Martin O'Malley has changed a lot since he hosted Guts on Nickelodeon.   In the unlikely scenario (the second coming, for instance) in which he receives the Democratic presidential nod, I hope he chooses Mo Quirk as his running mate, that is, if she can get time off from Foot Locker.

For a neurosurgeon, Ben "The Rock" Carson isn't very smart.  Actually, he's not very smart regardless of his career choice.  I wonder if his degree doesn't come from the same faux-box of Cracker Jacks that gave Rand Paul his accreditation as an ophthalmologist.

Is Bernie Sanders a socialist?  While I applaud much of his domestic platform--though he doesn't nearly go far enough--the gist of his foreign policy would be to continue the same militaristic, neoliberal imperialism that America is known for & that's not any kind of socialism I know of.

Hooray! Joe Biden says Joe Biden isn't running for president.

Jeb Bush.  Sigh & double sigh.  Haven't we had enough of the goddam Clintons & Bushes?  Well, here's hoping!  After Jeb's latest round of goofy gaffes, it occurred to me that, surprisingly, his brother George, despite allegedly being dropped on his head repeatedly as a child, still wound up as the most polished statesman of the family.  Funny story:  One day I saw the neighbor's kid playing with--I know you won't believe this--a fresh pile of dog shit on the lawn.  Thoroughly disgusted, I asked him just what he thought was doing & he said, "Making a statue of Jeb Bush."  Okay, I'll admit I fought the urge to snicker, but not wanting to encourage his inappropriate behavior--I mean, following the Republican primaries is not something I'd want my child to do--I asked him, using my sternest tone, why he'd say such a thing.  "Because," he said, plopping another gloppy turd on top that bore a remarkable resemblance to Jeb's head, "I don't have enough shit to make Chris Christie."  Good god, who does?

Chris Christie is a pompous horse's ass.  The less said about Ted Cruz, Jim Gilmore, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, John Kasich, George Pataki, Marco Rubio & Rick Santorum the better.

In a final note, Lincoln Chaffee recently withdrew from the Democratic race in order to allow more time to practice the ocarina so that he might be better suited to rescue Zelda.