Sunday, May 25, 2008

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...

Who's the meanest of them all?

Turns out, I am. Well, depending on who you ask. If you ask my divas, well, they'll tell you I'm awful.

I took down the mirrors, you see.

In my classroom, back by the music library, are three large cabinets. Theoretically they lock, but in two years at this school I've never found a key. On the left-side door of each cabinet is a small mirror. You can imagine that my girls, upon arriving to choir, like to check their hair. And their makeup. Better check the teeth for food, while I'm here. Is that a pimple? Ack! Run for the concealer, spend another few minutes frantically hiding the blemish.

You get the idea. It's a complete and total distraction.

What's really funny is that only my advanced choir students do this. My younger choirs are perfectly content to sit down, warm up, and worry about hair and makeup later. It's only the advanced groups who insist on using those mirrors, and then--horror of horrors, seeing as how I'm a complete neat freak--leaving the doors to the cabinets wide open with the mess inside gaping out.

It gets annoying.

To say the least.

Thursday was the night of the last concert I will ever have to put on at this particular high school (Haaaaallelujah! Haaaaallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halllllllaaaaayyyoooooooyaaaaaa!!!!). In the afternoon before my divas descended on my classroom, I latched one of the cabinets shut and put a note over the two doors asking (nicely, even) that it remain closed and latched because there are several bags of bottles and cans inside that need to be taken to the recycling center. It's literally a small mountain of garbage bags. I have not had time to load them in the car and take them away, so they are stuffed in the cabinet.

It's not a lot to ask, right? Just ONE cabinet! The other two were still okay to use.

Friday morning I came into my classroom to find my nice sign ripped in half and the bags of recycling spilling out onto the floor. I cleaned up the mess (and the mess in the rest of the room left by kids who don't seem to want to take care of the expensive dresses and tuxes they bought). I was feeling just a teensy bit exhausted from the night before, and maybe, perhaps, just the littlest bit irritated.

Okay, I was seriously cranky.

I borrowed a Philips screw driver from the band teacher and set about removing the mirrors from the cabinets with a sort of grim satisfaction.

Fourth period rolled around and in sauntered my divas. As ever, a few of the girls strolled straight to the cabinets and opened one. I was sitting at the piano, with my back to them, trying not to laugh as I heard doors opening and the shocked whispers of, "The mirrors are gone!!"

Tiny Tim, a senior know-it-all who is one of my biggest critics, caught wind of the shocked whispers and looked at me like I'd murdered Santa Claus.

"You took down the mirrors?"



He was honestly angry--and he never uses the mirrors!!

"Just because."

He didn't quite know what to say to that, but I could see him formulating nasty thoughts. I could feel the tension emanating from some of the biggest divas, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

Before long, one of the mothers who helps with this class came in, and some of the kids went straight to her--I'm not kidding--and said, "She took the mirrors down!!"

Michelle looked confused for a moment, then looked at me and said, "They said you took the mirrors down?"

"Yes, I did."

She smiled. "Is it because they look at them all the time?"

I laughed. "Yes!"

She just laughed while the kids looked bewildered. Finally, I gave them my explanation, ending with, "Maybe I was the teensiest bit cranky this morning...but really, I'm tired of cleaning up after everyone!"

Some of them got it (the nice kids)...and some definitely did not.

But that's divas for you.

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