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Thoughts I have while clothes shopping

Walking in the store

Oh my god it's about 100° in here, it's 2° outside. I can feel sweat running off me already?

Why is the shop assistant watching me? Have I accidentally shoplifted something? I can't have I've just walked in! She thinks I'm not good enough/too old/not rich enough to shop here.


Will you please get out of my bloody way, I'm sure you're doing this on purpose!

Ooh that's nice *checks price tag* OMFG. Can I get away without paying my rent this month?

That's a 10?! I don't think I can get one thigh in that. Surely they mean age 10?

You'd have to pay me to wear that. I must be getting old.

Why are there different types of clothing on the same rail and why is the one I want to look at right at the back??

Why is every single thing I like not in stock in my size?

Why do I not like a single thing in here? I must be getting old.

In the changing room

There's no assistant. Do I wait? Do I go in?

Nooo the curtain doesn't close properly. Someone might see me *experiences horror*

There's a hanger in here, are they going to think I've nicked something.

I wonder if they employed someone specially to create lighting that makes me look like Jabber the Hut.

These jeans aren't going past my knees let alone my hips.

Shit, I'm stuck!

Shit, I think I've ripped it!

Have I just got deodorant/make-up on that top? I'm the person I complain about!

How long have I been in here now? Are they going to start wondering what I'm doing!

Do I really look like that?! Someone pass me a doughnut. 

I've come in with six things, I can't hand them all back!. Which one shall I pretend I'm going to buy?

There's still no assistant. Do I put these on the rail or will they think I've nicked stuff? Shall I go and casually hang them all back where I found them?


Do I really need this let alone want it?

The assistant still thinks I'm not good enough to shop in here.

Crap! 'Yes I'll need to buy a bag please'.

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  1. Loved this!! It's all so very true :)

    Rhi xx

  2. Yep, yep and yep. Especially "oh that's pretty" WTF it's how much? No, what? You could feed four families for a week with that amount of money etc. etc. you get the gist. I do most shopping online now, because less people. Haha, funny post, thanks for sharing. Gave me a laugh xxx

    ALittleKiran | Bloglovin

  3. Brilliant! I have all these thoughts too. I hate when shops are red hot but you've dressed for the -10 weather outside x

