Sunday, March 01, 2015

My Story - the PLAN

The My Story series began with the first post, Insecurites Vs. Being True.  I'm slowly, but surely, working on removing layers to become a more true form of myself.

I've always liked lists and plans but as an adult I make less and less of them.  The less you write down, the less you're accountable for, or less disappointed about.  I could improve on my goal-setting but as far as one/five/ten year plans go, I think it's better to see where you are and go where you feel like you should go then, not where you thought you should go when you were a whole other person ten years earlier.

Ten years ago, I was finishing college.  I had dated some, but not a lot, and had ditched out before I was ever very serious with anyone.  My ten year plan in 2005 included a lot more education, like a Master's and Doctorate.  And, if not that, an exciting career with adventure.  Of course, I wanted a husband and family in the future, but I'd always been wary of planning that out.  I'd seen a lot of people try to plan their lives and end up disappointed.  And, I'd seen people try to do what they felt was right, when they felt it, and have really cool things happen.  I'd decided on that.

Ten years before that my ten year plan looked quite different.  In 1995, I wasn't sure about a career, maybe teaching.  I wanted a driver's license.  And, of course, I was going to get married and be a rock star of a stay at home mom/homemaker.  Although, I had an interest in kids and teaching, I was sure I wouldn't really need more than a bachelor's degree because I would spend my time raising my pack of children.

Between 2000-2003, my plan was far different from the 1995 plan.  I moved across the country almost solely for the reason that a boy had told me he didn't think I should.  I had an adventure and came home to start college.  What I wanted to study was far from a teaching education.  I had aspirations to be George W. Bush's political communications advisor.  Karen Hughes and Ari Fleischer had my dream job.  I interviewed to apply at George Washington University.  But, a project in an English class led my interests to financial education and counseling.  So from there, I headed to the plan that more closely resembled the 2005 plan.

My love for children and my desire to have a family never changed, but I wasn't going to sit and wait for that to happen when I could try so many other things.  I was sure as soon as I found someone who would give me the chance to be his wife and to raise our children, I would rock it.  There wouldn't be a better wife and mother than me.

Five years ago, I planned to continue doing the job I'm doing now, or maybe getting my Master's degree to do the same job from a different direction.  In 2010, I lived in a good place, I loved the calling I had with the Young Women, and I was satisfied with what I was doing.  Later in 2010, I met Jake.  I liked him and his children, then I loved all of them, and then I just couldn't imagine that my story and their story went together.  All the sudden, I learned that being a wife and mother probably meant something so different than my brain had always planned on.  So, I checked out.  Eight weeks later, I checked back in and since then, I haven't tried to plan anything.

{all the MY STORY posts will be linked together with a label, or just click here}


Katherine said...

This is so great, Joey. I love reading your story. Keep writing!