Thursday, February 05, 2009

Hey, Baby Don't You Wanna Go...

I'm headed for Chicago for the Love Is Murder Conference, where I'll be hanging with the likes of my buddies Tasha Alexander, Renee Rosen, Laura Bradford, the Jordans (alas no Jen) etc, etc.

Yes, I'm a lucky guy.

To tide you over during this period of non blogging, here's a little Chicago Blues from Buddy Guy and some English fellow.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Puzzling Questions, Part II

New York Daily News:

You’d think Joe the Plumber’s 15 minutes would be up by now. But , no, after a stint as a correspondent in Israel, he took his act to Capitol Hill today.
The first order of business: giving political advice to conservative Republican staffers at breakfast, which, Wurzelbacher told us, “Went really well.” *** One thing that needs to be done, he said, is killing this stimulus package, because it’s just another example of “American government” — Republicans and Democrats — “kicking our butts left and right.” He also called it welfare.

Puzzling Question: If tax problems of Obama nominees are so all-fired important to the Republicans, why is tax dodging Joe the Plumber getting invited to advise them on the stimulus package?

In The Days of the Giants

I'm blogging today over at Murderati about the old-time pulp writers who claimed to be able to write a novel in 72 hours--or less. Check it out.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I'm Not Shedding Any Tears

I can't say I'm all broken up over the withdrawal of Tom Daschle as Health and Human Services nominee. And it's not the taxes so much. Of course everyone should pay their taxes, since I bloody well have to. But anyone can make an mistake on those and end up paying later, with, of course, penalties and interest. 

But Daschle was a pushover for the Republicans as majority leader, and out of Congress he was far too cozy with the sort of health-care companies and other fat-cats he was going to have to take on to get any real health care reform in this country. I mean, come on, a private car and driver provided to him by a "private equity firm"? Hundreds of thousands in speaker's fees from health care companies?  And this guy was going to champion health care reform for working people? Please. 

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Tom.

 Mr. President: I hear Howard Dean's available. 

Monday, February 02, 2009

Puzzling Questions

Louisiana Senator "Diaper Dave" Vitter:

We need the ability to deal with these folks adequately. To me, that has to include the ability to detain some — without trial — to continue proper interrogation. […] I’d like to have Gitmo stay open. But certainly, we need detention facilities where we can detain dangerous terrorists without trial, continue to interrogate them.

Question: If you truly think Barack Obama is a terrible President with terrible judgment, why would you want to give him the power to lock people up without trial, purely on his say-so that they're terrorists?

HT to Think Progress.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Who Knew?

Latest newspaper column:

As a lawyer who does criminal defense, I've recently discovered some words of comfort I can give clients charged with serious crimes.

That word is: We've got nothing to lose, because even if you go to the Department of Corrections, you will be almost immediately released into whatever community the prison is located in.

I have this on no less authority than the Republican Congressional Leadership, who have been in an absolute frenzy of pants-wetting fear over the prospect of Democratic President Barack Obama's order to close the military prison at Guantanamo Bay and transfer its inmates to U.S. prisons to await trial.

Of course, the Republican Congressional Leadership has been in an absolute frenzy of pants-wetting fear since Sept. 12, 2001, but this one seems to really have them shaking in their Gucci loafers. For you see, according to them, American prisons are simply not up to the task of, well, imprisoning anyone.

"Most local communities around America don't want dangerous terrorists imported into their neighborhoods, and I can't blame them," Minority Leader John Boehner fretted.

Republican Congressman Lamar Smith of Texas said, "I don't think we ought to be releasing these dangerous terrorists into our community in any way, shape or form."

Republican Sen. Saxby Chambliss of Georgia was even more scared by the prospects. "What we are going to have is, all of a sudden, in all likelihood, the release of some of those individuals into our society," he shuddered. "We know they are mean, nasty killers."

You hear that? These Republicans are warning us that American courts and prisons are like sieves.

Why, I'll bet World Trade Center Bomber Ramzi Yusef, Unambomber Theodore Kaczynski, Medellin Cartel Chief Assassin Dandeny Muñoz Mosquera, accused 9/11 plotter Zacarias Moussaoui, "American Taliban" John Walker Lindh, "Shoe Bomber" Richard Reid, and any number of other vicious criminals are, even as we speak, released by craven federal judges, out of their federal "Supermax" facilities, and roaming our streets, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, making lewd remarks to our women, and generally making all kinds of mischief.

It must come as a great comfort to our country's worst homegrown killers that our prison system is so porous that even World Trade Center bombing mastermind Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman can bust out of the federal prison in Butner, N.C., whenever he wants -- and he's blind!

And who knew that the military was so incompetent at the whole prison thing? I sure didn't until Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., introduced a bill to keep Gitmo detainees from being transferred to military prison facilities in California. Sen. Sam Brownback and Rep. Lynn Jenkins of Kansas introduced similar measures to keep detainees from being transferred to the Army maximum security prison at Fort Leavenworth.

In Jenkins' words, "Fort Leavenworth is the military training center for the best and the brightest the United States Armed Forces have to offer. ... Transferring suspected terrorists to Fort Leavenworth would jeopardize this vital mission and would severely undermine the education and training of military officers around the world."

Thanks, Rep. Jenkins. Without you I would never have known that the Army was so slack when it came to holding prisoners that they can't be trusted to keep them from wandering out of their cells into the classrooms, and onto the training ranges at Fort Leavenworth!

Of course, that puts them at odds with Sen. John McCain. Remember him? He actually ran for president once! McCain said a while back that he'd close Guantanamo Bay and move the prisoners to Leavenworth. Good thing he didn't win, because according to his fellow Republicans, the military prison system is apparently run by the Three Stooges. The Republicans are supposed to be all pro-military, too, so you know if they're worried about the military's ability to hold these bad guys, then something must be really wrong.

All of this will undoubtedly come as a relief to America's criminal defendants. After all, if the federal system can't hold on to bad guys, how lame must the state systems be? The state prisons are probably like ghost towns, with the wind blowing tumbleweeds through them.

Wait, what's that you say? We actually have been able to convict, imprison and hold terrorists in custody? The people I've listed above are safely behind bars on American soil after receiving actual trials, with lawyers and everything? How can such a thing be? That would mean that the Republican leadership is stirring up irrational fear for obstruction and political gain! It would mean that all of these bills being introduced are political stunts and complete wastes of time! And we all know they'd never do that, don't we?

Don't we?