The Big Bagel

A Plague of Ingrates

January 06, 2015


With the war between New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio and the NYPD escalating to DEFCON 2, you”d think the people who need the police the most would stop biting the hand that protects them. But no one ever went broke overestimating the ungratefulness of the corn-fed hipsters who dominate the Big Apple’s media megaphone. Case in point: Gawker‘s Andy Cush decries the force as “pathetic crybabies“ and “an embarrassment to the city of New York.”

After trying to mentally calculate how much cheese Cush would need for his whine, I decided to do a little research into the guy. To the surprise of no one, he lives in Brooklyn and is not a New York native. According to his Facebook profile, Cush hails from the Baltimore suburb of Severna Park, confirming my belief that any town that has “park” in the name is a worthless cultural void.

“When the inevitable crime wave happens, watch for all the anti-police hipsters to claw their way onto Milwaukee-bound Greyhounds like Dalits on a Calcutta train.”

Andy Cush is yet another dilettante in the long line of NYC transplants living off Mommy’s credit line. Usually hailing from stagnant backwaters like Wisconsin or Minnesota, they migrate to New York to fulfill their dream of fronting an “art noise duo” or getting their quirky novel about growing up in the suburbs of Des Moines published. They”ve never fired a gun, balanced a checkbook, or lived in a ZIP code that was less than 90 percent white, yet they think they”re qualified to lecture the little people on the evils of racism and misogyny.

It’s because of the Great Midwestern Twit Migration that de Blasio is even mayor. A Red Sox fan with a black, Sapphic pit bull of a wife and zero accomplishments to his name, he couldn”t get elected dogcatcher in the old NYC. But thanks to 20 years of gentrification and ridiculous tax rates, you”ll find more native New Yorkers in a Raleigh sports bar than in the city itself.

One year after the red diaper baby’s coronation as mayor, the rot in New York is evident. De Blasio’s biggest accomplishments include raising taxes to fund a ghetto daycare program (misleadingly called “universal pre-K“), banning horse-drawn carriages at the behest of his campaign donors, and lowering the city’s speed limit to increase traffic tickets. His hayseed constituents have also pressured the MTA into launching a campaign against “manspreading“ on the subway, because millennial women are too socially retarded to ask strangers if they can sit down next to them.

A city can only indulge the whims of its most obnoxious voter blocs up to a certain point. So long as NYPD beat cops were allowed to stop and frisk suspicious-looking youths and arrest squeegee men for jaywalking, the government could waste everyone’s time with soda bans and safe sex smartphone apps for teens. By attacking the men who made New York City fit for human habitation, de Blasio and his white fanboys have slit their own throats.

As someone whose family has been based in New York for longer than Wisconsin has been a state, I bristle at these fuzzy-bearded fruits whining about “police brutality.” The NYPD is one of the most professional and honest police forces in America. They will never bother you unless you give them a reason to, and even then you can avoid punishment by being courteous. For example, if you”re caught urinating in public in NYC, you get a $25 fine and the cops laugh about it. Try doing that back home in Michigan and you”ll end up on the sex offender registry.

Most of the abuses the NYPD commit are a result of policies that the left either created themselves or directly benefit from. Eric Garner, the chosen martyr of the anti-police brigade, was killed because he was illegally selling cigarettes, a profitable enterprise thanks to punitive left-wing smoking laws. The “broken windows” policing of Rudy Giuliani and Bill Bratton was what transformed New York from the city that Gerald Ford told to drop dead to a place where young women can walk their dogs alone at night.
