May 2, 2010

Little Reminders, Big Difference

Everyone needs a little reminder.

I recently hung a bicycle necklace on the rear view mirror of my car. I bought the necklace to help raise money for a friend whose brother was riding for a cure for their father, who was battling a brain tumour. Sadly, their amazing father Joe, 51 years old lost his battle a couple of days ago. I now look at the necklace as a reminder to slow down, stop obsessing and really start focusing on how I spend my energy. 

Obsessing and over-analyzing are two wasteful and fruitless activities.

Nothing good ever comes from it. For example, you can obsess or wait for a book to tell you that "He's Just Not That Into You" or you can figure it out for yourself. I recently convinced a male friend of mine to just go after this girl he's been secretly crushing on. It was a lot of back and forth messaging, convincing and rationalizing before he finally decided to go with it. He is one step closer to an answer and moving on.

You see, these little things that people worry about or stress over may feel like the "be-all-and-end-all" but they're not. I'm a huge over-analyzer. Ask anyone. I love to weigh out every possible arena before making a decision.

My new thing is asking myself this simple question when I start to obsess: In 5 months or 5 years from now how much is this decision going to affect the big picture of my life? Mostly, 9 times out of 10 the answer is that it probably won't make a difference in the grand scheme of things. 

Beyond obsessing, there is also the waiting and putting things off. I recently tweeted this: You may let something great pass when it comes along for logical reasons, but what if when you're ready and prepared it never comes?

How many people make excuses for not going through with something? "I'm not ready. There isn't time. I need to wait." There will never be a better time than right now. Why? Well, it's the only time that we have. I'm not pretending this is my profound idea. Every book, movie and proverb preaches living in the now.

I "talk the talk" about all the things I want to do with my life. It's a safe place to be. By admitting you have goals and dreams, you seem like a driven, ambitious person but if no action follows what is the point?

Forget being "ready" to make the move, change direction or go with your heart. If you feel it, just do it.

It's a long process, but what it comes down to is that life is complicated, confusing and unfairly short for some people. You don't get to choose when your time here is up. So if you want to do something, anything from knocking on someone's door professing your love with bristol board or signing up for unicycle classes. Do it now.

The worst that could happen is you get a door slammed in your face, or finally qualify for the circus! Either way, it is one less thing on that list of yours. If it doesn't work out, it probably wasn't right for you anyways.

You can either take comfort in that, or dwell on the failure. So what will be your daily reminder?

for j.m


  1. I feel like I hold back on a lot of things because I'm scared of failing or being rejected. Now, I stop and think about what Joe was going through and realize how stupid I am. I have nothing to be afraid of. Rest in peace, we'll miss you.

  2. "you may let something great pass when it comes along for logical reasons, but what if when you're ready and prepared it never comes?"

    loveeeee the quote western!

    and dont be afraid to do or say anything, just think you urself, whats the worst that can happen? and if its not THAT BAD, then just do it.