What a wonderful opportunity we have this holiday season to give our children long-lasting gifts.

I'm not talking about spending $150 and up for a souped-up graphics card so your children can play the latest shoot'em-up computer game with all the snazzy 3-D graphics.

And I'm definitely not talking about getting your older kids--or is it for you?--one of the oh-so-hard-to-find second-generation Zune 80s that have sparked a bidding war online. With many electronics stores weeks behind in obtaining the ultraslim 80 gigabyte digital media players, impatient buyers online have been paying way above the $250 suggested retail price.

This is not a knock against electronic gadgets and games; they can make our lives fun and pleasant. But such immature I've-got-to-have-it-now-no-matter-what-it-costs behavior is downright irresponsible, not to mention a terrible example for children.

Instead, consider the approach by James Potter, a reader from Madison, Wis.

Every year during the holidays, Potter and his wife give each of their eight grandchildren a check as their gift. Together with their parents, and the Potters whenever possible, the children visit stores and make a list of items they may want.

But they don't buy anything that day. Instead, they gather in the evening to review the list, rearranging items and crossing some off to keep within the allotted money.

"They add all the costs and think about how surely they want to own each item," Potter said. "This short-circuits a lot of buyer's remorse in the future."

The children return to the stores the next day to buy their preferred items but without exceeding their budget.

If only adults did that: stick to a budget and set priorities. And there's another plus: After thinking it over for a day, some children decide to save rather than spend the money.

"The most important point is that each year, more of the children decide to put all their money into their savings account for future desires, including college," Potter said. "They have had the fun of spending their money vicariously (by going to stores and making their lists) and still have it to reach a goal."

I'm not advocating giving up all purchases in favor of window-shopping. Finding the right gift for the people you love and seeing their smiles when they open it is one of the big joys of the holiday season. But we also can find joy teaching our children discipline and responsibility.

And it's a lesson we can teach them not just during the holidays, but all year long.

"One thing my husband and I did that helped our girls understand that once money is spent, it is gone, was to give them a `vacation allowance,' " said reader Marlys Stapelbroek. "Whenever we went on a vacation, we gave them a special allowance at the beginning of the trip. They could use it to buy whatever they wanted, but if they spent it at the first stop, then they didn't have anything to spend at the other stops.

"If they still had it at the end, they got to keep it," Stapelbroek said. "Because our trips were usually eight to 10 days, it worked very well. That's an easy time frame for them to remember and understand the consequences."

I suggest adapting the same idea for children buying holiday presents for their friends: Give them an allowance for the gifts and so many days to buy them, donating any leftover money to charity.

Humberto Cruz is a columnist for Tribune Media Services. E-mail him at yourmoney@tribune.com.