Naty08 asks:

My 4 year old daughter is pinching,kicking, rude with others at the preschool. How I can stop her behavior?

She is 4 hours at the school and she is behaving badly nor only at school but at home as well. She is yelling as, telling us bad words. throwing toys or what she has at hand.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 28, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Teaching our children to behave and act appropriately takes time and consistency. Working with your child's teacher will help reinforce the positive behavior you are trying to teach.

We suggest using three simple steps to teach these skills;
1.) Describe the positive behavior you want your child to do.
Be clear and specific with your expectations.
"No one likes to hear the answer no and when we do it makes us mad. The next time we have to tell you no I want you to try doing something different.
1. Look at the person who is talking to you.
2. Say "okay".
3. If you disagree, bring it up later. If you get upset, we will talk about what you can do then."

2.) Give a reason. Make it a kid reason, one that shows the benefit to her.
"If you can accept No like that without getting upset, people will try really hard to say yes more often."

3.) Practice what you just taught her to do.
" Now lets try that. Ask me if you can watch a movie and it is time for dinner. Mommy is going to say no. Show me what you are going to do when you hear the answer "no". Use those three steps we just talked about.

After she practices praise her for the practice and practice frequently. Make it fun and keep it brief.
You can use the three steps to teach other social skills as well including teaching her to stay calm when she starts to get upset and using appropriate language as well.

We hope this helps you and your daughter. Please reach out if you have any other questions.

Naina, counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
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