Miami Heat too good for Boston Celtics, as San Antonio Spurs streak to 19 wins

The Boston Celtics came unstuck against the Miami Heat; the San Antonio Spurs beat the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game One and are now unbeaten in six weeks; and, what is Russell Westbrook wearing?
Boston Celtics' Kevin Garnett argues vs Miami Heat
Boston Celtics' Kevin Garnett argues a call with official Joey Crawford during the Eastern Conference final game one against the Miami Heat at the American Airlines Arena in Miami, Florida, USA, 28 May 2012. Photograph: Rhona Wise/EPA

The good news for NBA fans this Memorial Day weekend was that, after days of waiting, the Western Conference Finals began Sunday night when the San Antonio Spurs mounted an insane fourth quarter rally to defeat the Oklahoma City Thunder. The better news for NBA fans was that the absolutely ugly Eastern Conference Semi-Finals between the Boston Celtics and Philadelphia 76ers mercifully came to an end on Saturday. The battered and bruised Celtics beat the 76ers to earn the right to be demolished by the Miami Heat two nights later in game one of the Eastern Conference Finals. Besides Russell Westbrook's outfits, there wasn't much bad news this three-day basketball weekend besides evidence that NBA officiating is poor, which quite honestly, shouldn't be news to anybody.

1. The Boston Celtics couldn't beat the Heat

The easiest way to avoid a potentially controversial win is to wallop your opponent to the point that no one can question the game's outcome, and that's exactly what the Miami Heat did Monday night when they handed the Boston Celtics a 93-79 loss. NBA officials threatened to become the story early as they unleashed a torrent of technical fouls, five in total and all of them against Boston, but by the time LeBron James posted 32 points and 13 rebounds only the most unhinged WEEI caller could argue that the Heat won for any other reason than the fact they outplayed the Celtics.

If their game one win revealed any cracks in LeBron James and company's "Quest for Change for a Dollar" Tour it was that, once again, his team came up a quarter shy of a full 48 minute effort. Luckily for the Heat, they saved their troubles for the second quarter, when they allowed the Celtics to score 35 points, and not the pivotal fourth. In fact, the Heat commanded the fourth quarter so decisively that there even was a Marquis Daniels sighting in the game's closing minutes. Going into this game, this writer (among many would-be sports prognosticators) had Boston lasting five games against Miami. If the Heat continue to play at this level, even if they take off a quarter every game, the Celtics might struggle to fulfill even that modest goal. The Miami Heat now hold a 1-0 series lead on the Boston Celtics, but it somehow seems much larger.

The funny thing about this game was the Celtics were making their run at the exactly moment when officials were making iffy calls against them, a fact that hopefully should remind the legions of would-be Tommy Heinsohns in Celtics-land that the occasionally incomprehensible refereeing ended up not being a factor in Boston's loss. That's not to say that David Stern and other associated Association mucky-mucks were thrilled to see the names of officials Ed Malloy and Danny Crawford, along with the phrase "these refs", trending on Twitter. Considering that soon-to-be-fined Celtics coach Doc Rivers, who has been rung up enough times in his career that he can probably categorize techs like wine experts can with merlots, called his technical foul as "the worst I've ever had", the league should be relieved that the Celtics lost by double-digits and not two or three points, making any questions about the referee incompetence and/or corruption at least temporarily irrelevant.

2. San Antonio Spurs got "nasty" against Oklahoma City Thunder

Meanwhile Sunday night, in what could very well turn out to be the True NBA Finals, the San Antonio Spurs rolled past the Oklahoma City Thunder 101-98 in game one of the Western Conference Finals. For much of the game, it seemed as if the Thunder would give the Spurs their first loss in six weeks, but a 29 point fourth quarter pushed San Antonio's win streak to 19 games. This win further validated the effectiveness of head coach Gregg Popovich's groundbreaking strategy of "not losing any game ever".

San Antonio was trailing Oklahoma City until Popovich told his team, "I want some nasty". Although even now, days after the fact, nobody knows exactly what "nasty" actually entails or why exactly Mr. Popovich would wish to partake of it, the advice seemed to work. Popovich's oblique instruction spurred the Spurs to maybe their most dominant extended run of basketball in a winning streak that has been pretty much nonstop dominant basketball. It also, inevitably, created a newfound novelty t-shirt industry overnight.

In what can only be a bad sign for the Thunder, the Spurs won with their two best players, Tim Duncan and Tony Parker having off-games (although it should be noted a Duncan off-night still includes double-digit rebounds). Instead it was Sixth Man supreme Manu Ginobili who led all scorers with 26 points while also providing an early Spurs highlight with a first quarter buzzer beater. Beyond Ginobili, Gary Neal, a point guard who apparently exists and is not just a made-up generic name used to fill up a video game roster, provided a surprise late-game spark with his 12 points, a further testimony to the Spurs' scary depth.

Tuesday night's game two will reveal a lot about this Oklahoma City Thunder. This Thunder team cannot afford to go down 0-2 to a San Antonio Spurs team that just refuses to lose. Before the series started, most experts were predicting this to be a close battle. Given how good both of these teams are, it should still be one, but if the Thunder don't rally to even the series, "close" could merely end up describing the Spurs' margin of victory each game.

3. The Boston Celtics/ Philadelphia 76ers Series will never make it on ESPN Classic

When the Boston Celtics' Rajon Rondo ended the Philadelphia 76ers' season in the closing minutes of Saturday's game seven, he also did the sporting world a favor by killing off one of the least enjoyable seven game playoff series in modern NBA history. With a little over four minutes left in game seven, Celtics captain Paul Pierce fouled out with Boston clinging desperately to a three point lead against a Philadelphia team that was just refusing to go away. They were going to need point guard Rajon Rondo to take over the game like he had during so many nationally televised games. Four minutes and eleven points later, the Celtics had defeated the 76ers 85-75 to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals, ending a hard-to-watch series filled with missed layups, clanked free throws and open looks that players could never seem to close.

If this had been a movie, well first of all the games wouldn't have been so excruciatingly dull. Secondly, if this were a movie, the credits would have faded as the Celtics celebrated their well-earned win, ending their story on an artificial high note. Old, tired and lacking depth, the Celtics, are facing the Heat like aging gunfighters or bank robbers knowingly heading into a final ambush. If the Eastern Conference Finals' game one was any indication, they may be going out in a swift, brutal Peckinpah-esque bloodbath.

Meanwhile there is no shame in Philadelphia for getting bounced from the postseason, they exceeded expectations just by making it this far. After a hot start, the 76ers limped into the playoffs, barely making it in as the eighth seed in the East. After being given no chance to defeat the Chicago Bulls, the 76ers caught a break when the Bulls lost both reigning MVP Derrick Rose as well as dangerous big man Joakim Noah. Having advanced to face the Celtics in the second round of the playoffs, the young defense-oriented team was a significant underdog and still managed to extend the series to seven games, possibly (and close to literally) crippling Boston's chances against the Miami Heat.

The 2011-12 Philadelphia 76ers season should be considered a success simply for game four of the series, a gutsy performance where the team rallied back from an 18 point deficit and forced the Boston Celtics into a longer series than they were expecting. If Miami takes advantage of this tired Boston team and goes to the Finals, Heat VP Pat Riley might have some new names to add to his Christmas card list. The way it's looking right now, he might as well start learning how to spell Iguodala now.

4. Russell Westbrook's wardrobe is a danger to himself and others

Despite being the most image conscious of any American sport, professional basketball has always had its share of fashion disasters: the flashy kitsch of the '70s ABA, the grotesque short-shorts of the '80s, the attention-grabbing attire often worn by NBA Draft Picks etc. Sometimes these faux pas are deliberate, as players realize they could achieve more attention if they completely break the fashion rules off-the-court. The Chicago Bulls' Dennis Rodman is the best known-example of this idea with his gender-bending get-ups in the '90s, which mostly overshadowed his Hall of Fame on-court defensive abilities. This season, Oklahoma City Thunder's Russell Westbrook has begun to make his mark in a less confrontational, indeed almost nerdy, manner.

Certainly at this point of Westbrook's reign of sartorial terror, the more fashion-sensitive NBA fans must be praying that either the San Antonio Spurs continue their winning streak and swiftly eliminate the Thunder or that David Stern begins to create new fines targeting "loud t-shirts" the same way he forced injured players to wear suits on the sidelines in the early '00s. Let's start with this particularly hideous paint-splattered number, possibly part of an old Halloween costume when Westbrook went as a canvas Jackson Pollock unintentionally left unfinished after a particularly regrettable bender.

Westbrook's fashion crimes do not end with getting t-shirt ideas from children's' finger-painting exercises. Apparently, when Russell's not busy dominating games with Kevin Durant, he has an off-the-court alter-ego who is a divorced middle aged Jimmy Buffett fan. During one post-game press conference, Westbrook came out in a nautical shirt that would have been too gaudy even for Key West. It's as if Russell is trying to convey some sort of secret message, free of fines, through the medium of flags. Westbrook's Buffet-like impulses did not end there, as this ghastly fishing lure themed outfit, which reduces this ferociously dangerous scoring point guard into a human Tervis Tumbler.

Some have compared Westbrook's thick-rimmed red glasses to those worn by once-beloved TV icon Steve Urkel from "Family Matters". To these eyes, these frames seem more of a nod to the modern hipster, as if he's aiming to convert Decembrists fans into NBA junkies by appealing to their impossible-to-tell-if-ironic fashion choices. Of course, it could just be Westbrook realizing that the nerdy look worked for Michael Jordan once.

5. Other Things We've Learned

"The Amar'e Moment" is maybe the most vicious thing I've ever read about the New York Knicks. It's so vicious that its anonymous writer must either be the world's biggest Knicks hater or the world's biggest Knicks fan. Is there even a difference between the two?

Okay this viral video was for a soft drink promotion, but despite that, it's still amusing. Watch as Cleveland Cavaliers' Rookie of the Year Kyrie Irving puts on old age makeup and pulls an incredibly obvious, but still very amusing, prank on some "youths" playing a pick-up game. For their next trick, this commercial's makeup department should attempt to make Greg Oden look like his actual age.

Ousted Orlando Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy might take a year off of coaching to recover from injuries suffered when Magic center Dwight Howard stabbed him in the back earlier this year. For a proper retrospective of this blog's favorite coach,'s David J. Roth has written a semi-appreciation and Grantland has a treasury of Van Gundy's grumpiest moments.

One negative the Spurs can take from their Game 1 comeback win? "I want some nasty. My name is nasty," Spurs small forward Steven Jackson said in response to his coach Gregg Popovich's in-game exhortations. How can San Antonio trust this guy when he's totally getting famous Janet Jackson lines COMPLETELY WRONG?