Why has no one noticed my weight loss?

(51 Posts)
dontcallmehon Wed 24-Oct-12 12:06:17

I am losing weight for myself - but it is nice to get compliments ;) Hardly anyone has noticed that I've lost weight. I have gone from 11 stone 10 to 9 stone 8 - so surely it must be fairly obvious by now!

I lost the first stone quite slowly, as I yo yoed a bit, but the last bit has come off quite quickly. I'm 5 foot 7, and have noticed that I've had to buy new clothes, as nothing fits. I'm wondering if it just isn't obvious for some reason, or if people just don't like mentioning weight in case you're offended. I want to lose another 10 pounds or so.

Are you maybe still wearing the same style of clothes? So maybe a baggy top which doesnt accentuate your lovely weight loss.

Or maybe people are worried to say something.

LFCisTarkaDahl Wed 24-Oct-12 12:09:52

Maybe you were a stunner also at 5ft 7 and 11 stone, 10 wink

That is nicely curvy to start with, right? Isn't 5ft 7 and 8 stone 12 pounds pretty light? - are you a model?

I'm sure you look fab, well done on losing weight.

dontcallmehon Wed 24-Oct-12 12:13:25

No definitely not a model - I wish! I probably am wearing a few things that are too baggy for me, although I just cleared out my wardrobe this weekend (and now have hardly anything left - so might need to go shopping!). I want to get to a BMI of 18.5/19 ish, so right at the lower end but not underweight, if I can.

I felt a bit dumpy before, as I have big hips and a small waist, so I don't think I carry extra weight very well.

LFCisTarkaDahl Wed 24-Oct-12 12:17:30

That's a very low bmi you're aiming for, is there a particular reason?

It's likely unsustainable long term if your body wants to be heavier - is it just short term you're going for?

LFCisTarkaDahl Wed 24-Oct-12 12:18:01

I'm wondering if you're a sports person?

dontcallmehon Wed 24-Oct-12 12:28:11

No, I'm not a sports person. I am fairly active though. I think it will be sustainable, as I'm following the alternate day fasting way of eating - which I'm finding really very easy and more of a way of life than a diet. When I get to my desired weight I'm going to just fast one or two days a week to maintain it and eat normally the rest of the time. I've found that my appetite has changed, so that I'm genuinely not hungry a lot of the time and I no longer crave unhealthy foods.

PuffPants Wed 24-Oct-12 12:36:45

I would never comment on someone's weight loss. When people tell me they've lost weight or are on a diet, I don't know what the appropriate response is. It feels very personal.

I lost a stone when I was at university and, although I was happy about it, I was surprised how mortified I felt if anyone commented on it. I wondered what they'd thought of me before blush

I'm certain people will have noticed your weight loss - well done smile

chubbleigh Wed 24-Oct-12 12:42:52

I lost a stone recently and nobody noticed. I think it is because your fat backside is always bigger in your own mind than in other peoples. I don't really care or notice much what other people may or may not weigh, and very rarely, if ever make a comment to someone else.

SparkyTGD Wed 24-Oct-12 12:48:58

There's a mum at our school who's lost a bit of weight, don't like to say anything in case its due to illness & would be seen as prying.

Do you mean no-one at all has noticed, do you mention your eating habits/changes? Because I would comment if I knew someone was dieting/trying to lose weight but not otherwise.

dontcallmehon Wed 24-Oct-12 17:27:34

One person I hadn't seen for ages did notice and commented on how good I looked, which was nice. My family know what I've been doing, but will only comment on it negatively and disapprovingly, without mentioning my weight at all.

Caerlaverock Thu 25-Oct-12 12:07:00

I lost a stone and half before anyone mentioned it and even then just close/blunt friends. People are being polite

survivingautumn Sat 27-Oct-12 21:32:10

Yes I agree with above - people are usually too polite to mention it or it comes out like 'gosh you've lost loads of weight' implying you were a bit big to start with or something!

I've lost well over a stone and only a few people have mentioned it and mostly indirectly when they have! I don't mind - I did it for me so I'm happy smile

Congrats on your weight loss - it's lovely to need to buy new clothes!!

Dizzydummy Sun 28-Oct-12 13:24:54

I have lost 3 stone in total, although it has taken me a couple of years, and it is only in the past month that some people have noticed. When someone has commented it has been when I have been wearing something that I wouldn't have worn in my very fat days (whereas now I am in my quite fat days!!) Some people just won't comment for whatever reasons hmm but they will notice, well done!

rhondagraymond Mon 12-Nov-12 12:30:28


specialsubject Sat 17-Nov-12 19:36:07

I think it is rude to say 'have you lost weight?' because it implies 'gosh you were fat before'. I might say 'you look well' or 'you look good'.

In your case I would say nothing because neither would apply as you are now rather skinny. If I were your friend I would be worried that you had some illness which was making you lose too much weight. With another 10lb off you will be invisible from sideways on - if you are still standing.

you were fine before. Doesn't sound good now. Please eat something or get help if you don't believe that you are too thin.

JustFabulous Sat 17-Nov-12 19:40:15

When I had lost 9lbs my nurse noticed I had lost weight but so far I have lost 16lbs in total and no one has said a word Probably because I am still fat grin though maybe people don't like to say, never noticed I was fat before or I look the same.

Don't worry. Just keep doing whatever you want for yourself.

ccarpenton Sat 17-Nov-12 20:49:52

I think the weights and heights you're talking about could be the problem. My husband mourned the loss of my curves when I went from 12 to 10 stone. He complains ... "nicely" ... even now. sad

dontcallmehon Sat 17-Nov-12 21:19:14

I honestly don't think I look at all skinny. I feel healthy.

ccarpenton Mon 19-Nov-12 18:54:44

"I honestly don't think I look at all skinny. I feel healthy. "

Yep. That's what I think about myself too. But, let's be honest - other women are only going to comment on your weight loss until you start becoming much thinner than them. wink

I always did. I would praise my 14st co-worker's 6lb weight loss and say how fantastic she looked. But I never made a peep about my skinny friend who clearly had dropped another stone from turning vegan.

TalkinPeace2 Mon 19-Nov-12 19:05:33

People are often embarrassed, just in case its because you are ill etc.
If you drop into conversation how much better you feel for losing a little bit of weight, you'll soon find out who has noticed and is pleased.

I too am aiming for a BMI of just under 20 - it suits my build.
I've lost a stone in the last month and as I've found fasting such an excellent method have tended to talk about it.

Creamtea1 Tue 20-Nov-12 16:47:17

My number one pet hate this is....
I've lost 3 stone 3lbs do far going from 12st2 to 8st13.
These are the reactions I get:
(family) nothing, not a peep. If I bring it up, they look at me like I'm mad. Yet my mum will insist on telling me about so and so who has lost a stone you know
Friends - either 'you've lost loads of weight!' - great, at last someone notices! Or also not a peep. OR 'diets are stupid, I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and miserable' regularly gets thrown at me.
Or - people seem to not want to be overly friends anymore. They say that everything I do is to make them feel fatter, yes that was an actual comment!

HousewifefromBethlehem Tue 20-Nov-12 17:05:00

creamtea you need a new name! grin

TalkinPeace2 Tue 20-Nov-12 19:57:09

Come join the intermittent fasters
then you get cream teas AND make others feel inadequate due to their lack of willpower grin

dontcallmehon Tue 20-Nov-12 22:16:10

I'm loving intermittent fasting. I'm 9 stone 4 now and full of energy. I eat what I want on eating days and don't feel deprived on fast days.

dontcallmehon Tue 20-Nov-12 22:17:09

Well done on the weight loss, cream tea.

I lost 5 1/2st from November to July and it took almost 3st before people started to say anything. Lots said they thought I looked thinner but weren't sure so I guess it took that much to be certain. Now I get a lot of negative comments about losing too much and I'd rather people forgot about it and didn't mention my weight ever again so be careful what you wish for! If you feel happier and that you look better then that's all that matters. I am now 9st 4 at 5'5" and have a bmi of 21 so very healthy.

I seem to be the only one that hasn't experienced this!! All my frineds have commented on my weight loss, in a good way. I did start quite heavy though and a couple of my blunter friends sat me down and told me they were worried (I was 20 st at 5 ft 7) I'm now 18st 2, and it really shows. Everyone is really pleased for me, and tell me as much. Apart from my own family (mum and sis) but they're just cross that I'm now smaller than them

I followed Shirley's EMTWL group for a few months, went from a 20 to a 16, then kind of slipped, stopped being careful and stopped losing. Couple of months later and in some new clothes and people have noticed that I've lost weight bulk. Before that it was only my mum that noticed, but she spots everything! grin

Well done on your loss. smile

Ephiny Wed 21-Nov-12 09:01:32

I think often people don't like to mention it. I certainly wouldn't comment if a friend or colleague had lost or gained weight, it seems a bit rude and intrusive. Sometimes people just don't notice or particularly care though. DH swears he doesn't notice any difference whether I'm a size 8 or a 12 and says I look fine no matter what hmm.

I prefer BMI of no more than about 19 for myself as well. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I have a naturally small/slight build, and also I'm short, so any excess weight tends to make me look dumpy. I certainly don't look 'too thin'.

dontcallmehon Mon 10-Dec-12 23:08:58

There are photos if my before and after weight loss on my profile. I'll take them down in a few days so I can remain anonymous.

rubyrubyruby Tue 11-Dec-12 08:11:59

I think that possibly people don't agree with your method of dieting and also think you may be looking too thin.

Hopengloooooooooooooooria Tue 11-Dec-12 08:17:49

I have lost 10kgs so far, that's 10 bags of sugar. Not that many people have noticed, but I've also not made a point of telling them that I am trying to loose weight either

rubyrubyruby Tue 11-Dec-12 08:20:03

I also think that people that see you regularly are less likely to notice than someone who hasnt seen you for months.

They may not be great photos dontcallmehon but I can't see a massive difference. You look fab in the halloween photo so be proud of yourself smile

dontcallmehon Sun 16-Dec-12 21:06:01

I'm in the silver dress in the first photo. I was nearly 12 stone there and am 9 stone now, so there must be a massive difference.

ThatBlokesANutter Mon 17-Dec-12 12:02:38

I can't see a huge difference in the photos either - both look great to me.

specialsubject Mon 17-Dec-12 13:12:07

well, as you ask for comments; bit thinner in the second now you've pointed it out, but it is starting to make you look drawn and ill so put it back on.

dontcallmehon Mon 17-Dec-12 14:23:14

Oh sad I didn't think I looked ill. So after losing three stone and getting into a healthy bmi, I look no thinner but I look ill.

ThatBlokesANutter Mon 17-Dec-12 14:33:48

You don't look ill silly! You look lovely. But it has to be said... IF you invite comments from strangers...well, it may not go the way you want!

I'd work on your self esteem if i were you and be happy with what you've achieved

ThatBlokesANutter Mon 17-Dec-12 14:43:10

But I have just looked at your stats and 9 stone at 5 ft 7 is too low.

I weigh anything between 8 st 12 and 9 st 2, size 8 and people sometimes comment that im too thin. And I'm 3 inches shorter than you

dontcallmehon Mon 17-Dec-12 14:44:50

I know. I don't have great self esteem. If you read the thread about my mum that I posted you will see why. I do have a thin face, but if I was 20 stone I would still have a thin face. It doesn't mean I'm ill and unfortunately there's not much that can be done about that. I don't think the first photo was v clear, so I've taken it down. I've gone down 3 dress sizes, so it must be noticeable.

dontcallmehon Mon 17-Dec-12 14:47:39

I fluctuate, so sometimes I'm nearer 9 stone and sometimes I'm closer to 9 stone 4. I am a size 8 to 10. I feel ok at this weight. I don't like being any bigger. I feel a bit rubbish about myself at the moment though and I'm not sure why.

If you are happy and feel good then be happy with that! I think you look lovely in the second photo and the first is a bit too far away really. I would say perhaps a bit more 'lumpy' but not much bigger. If you did things based on what others said you'd be up and down week to week depending on who you speak to wink. I am happy with my new size, some people think I'm too thin but then they knew me much bigger. I have a small frame and a healthy bmi and I can wear clothes I like, just wish my boobs hadn't shrunk so much and I didn't have enough skin to cover another half of me but hey, will we ever be happy?

Dinglebert Mon 17-Dec-12 18:14:55

People are probably being polite. I once commented on someone's weight when they had gone from approx size 20 to size 12ish, and looked fantastic. I hadn't seen them between the two sizes. It turned out that she had lost weight without meaning to and doctors weren't sure why, so she was quite worried. I think people think it is a personal thing.

Well done though - it is no mean feat (especially to keep going at this time of year!).

ThatBlokesANutter Mon 17-Dec-12 18:19:24

Try not to focus and fret over ' it must be noticeable '... your weight is fine, you look fine and it's time to enjoy what you have achieved and relax a bit. Try and stop setting yourself ever decreasing weights - lose any more and you will look gaunt and older - possibly not a look you're aiming for?

Take the focus off YOU and concentrate on something else. You're fine, you're good enough and I understand that this is an area of your life that you feel you can control, hence the fixation with it.

devid2011 Wed 19-Dec-12 08:00:07


SeamonkeyHasMyMoney Thu 20-Dec-12 12:21:07

I agree that people are being polite, and don't want to mention it in case it's because you've been ill etc.

I've recently lost 2st 9lb, and quite a few people have made comments to DP along the lines of 'Seamoney looks great, has she lost weight?'
He's told them I've been on a diet, and to tell me they think I look good as he knews I'll appreciate it, which they then have done.

It's not that people hadn't noticed, it's just they didn't want to say anything to me in the first instance in case I took offence, so mentioned it in passing to DP first to gauge the situation!

I'm sure lots of people have noticed, just are perhaps worried to comment, especially if they think you are now looking a little thin (not to say you do, of course!)

MrsMushroom Thu 20-Dec-12 12:24:26

I was too shy to mention my neighbours massively obvious and HUGE weight loss...it was so THERE that I couldn't say it!

dontcallmehon Fri 21-Dec-12 21:37:58

Be careful what you wish for, it seems. Today my grandad wanted to make sure I wasn't anorexic, as I've lost too much weight and look ill. I probably did look ill, as I had a bad cold yesterday and still feel a bit drained. But my weight is fine, I have a bmi of 20 and look ok, I think. I am getting paranoid now though!

burstingbaboon Wed 26-Dec-12 23:21:24

As my name says....i am really overweigh!! I am atm 118kg ! i need to loose weight and i just saw you guys are talking about intermittent fasters. Can someone tell me how does it work please?
And well done dontcallmehon on your weightloss!!!!

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