

The Language Of Flowers

If you're head over heels for that gorgeous guy, and he presents you with a bouquet of yellow tulips, what does it mean?

To the Victorians, it might have meant, "your love is hopeless."

But more likely it means the guy's florist happened to have a great bunch of yellow tulips on sale and he thought of you.

Romantic, yes, but mostly marketing.

Lest you despair that, alas, the language of flowers has wilted like the last breath of dew on the velvet rose petal, keep in mind that it was probably all about marketing for the Victorians, too.

Symbolic meaning has always been attached to some plants and flowers; laurels meant "glory" to the ancient Greeks, and wheat stalks have always meant "riches." But the language of flowers, sometimes called florigraphy, became especially popular among Victorians. Flowers became enormously popular as hair and personal adornments with the ascension of young Queen Victoria to the throne in 1837.

The use of flowers to convey deeper meaning began appearing in poetry and novels from the early 19th century simply because more women began to be published then, according to Fred Roden, an assistant professor of English at the University of Connecticut.

"It's associated with personal relations, domesticity and romance removed from the romantic language of males in a sonnet," says Roden. "It's when we see the use of metaphor and indirection."

So a rose meant more than just a rose, but there never has been one definitive list of meanings for each flower, even during the Victorian era. So how did they know what each flower signified? They didn't. Various "dictionaries" of florigraphy were published as small, inexpensive booklets, which were relentlessly pirated and modified. Meanings were arbitrarily changed, and some lists even had contradictory meanings for a single flower. To make sure your intended got the proper message from your bouquet, you had to send along the booklet, too -- another big business.

When a young male suitor would send a tussy-mussy (also known as a "talking bouquet" or "word posey") to a young woman, she would then wear the flowers, and that had meaning, too, according to Nancy Garrabrants, director of the Stockbridge School of Agriculture at the University of Massachusetts.

"If it was placed over her heart, that was a declaration of love," she says. "In her hair meant 'proceed with caution.' If it was in her cleavage, you would think it meant 'no holds barred' but it really meant encouraging friendship."

While we think of overheated romantic exchanges, the Victorians also exchanged tussy-mussies among friends and family, she says.

Some of the florigraphy was convenience. Violets were hugely popular and abundant in 19th-century England, and came to signify "faithfulness." "Isn't that wonderful?" says James DelPrince, a professor of floral design at Mississippi State University. "It makes it perfect for romance, weddings or funerals." A lot of violets were sold.

The bouquets also included foliage (American elm for patriotism, weeping willow for mourning), plants (aloe for grief, dogwood for durability) and herbs (basil for hatred, sage for domestic virtue).

Some meanings are truly strange. Moss is for maternal love, red columbine for "anxious and trembling" and apple blossom for "fame speaks him great and good." The bay leaf means "I change but in death."

Like the laurel, a few flowers have acquired nearly universal symbolism. The red rose almost always means romantic love, DelPrince says, while pink means something less committed, such as deep friendship or the beginnings of romance. White seems to usually mean purity. (Still, DelPrince says with a sigh, men always tend to send red roses, always, to any woman -- wife, mother or daughter -- for any occasion.)

Yellow was not a happy Victorian color, probably associated with illness, says DelPrince, who did his doctoral thesis on Victorian flower design. Besides the hopeless yellow tulip are yellow rose (jealousy), yellow carnation (rejection) and yellow chrysanthemum (slighted love). "That's not helpful to the florist with beautiful yellow roses in their cooler," he says. Thus, contemporary lists assign "friendship" to yellow roses.

Other negatives are scarlet geranium for stupidity, hellebore for scandal, and "Alas! My poor heart!" for deep red carnation ("Someone got dumped," says DelPrince).

Not that people don't try to convey mean thoughts through flowers, says Margaret Cluceru, owner of Nobu florist in Stamford. "I've had people want to send black roses, or dead flowers occasionally," she says. "But usually more on someone's 50th birthday than for a breakup."

Cluceru says a lot of women customers send flowers to themselves, "Which I really admire unless they sign the card 'from your secret admirer.' " So, ladies, send yourselves some Sweet Alyssum for "worth beyond beauty" or red camellias for "unpretending excellence." If there's no romance in sight, you could self-send some bachelor buttons (celibacy).

Not many people follow the old language of flowers today, although Garrabrants, a floral designer, did a wedding in which the bride gave out potted rosemary (remembrance) as favors to guests.

DelPrince believes the personal message will always win out over a proscribed definition anyway. For that reason, he doubts a unified language could ever be assigned to flowers now, unless it was by a marketing giant.

"Martha Stewart would be our best hope."

Copyright © 2014, Hartford Courant