
by Janis March 08, 2006
by devilzukin December 03, 2003
1. The idea that all the Ph.D. scientists on the planet, who actually spent 10-30 years of their lives getting an education in science and making real discoveries, are intellectually inferior and biased in comparison to 14- to 18-year-old impressionable christian youths and sexually frustrated right-wingers who barely graduated from high school who easily fall for hoaxes which are assumed to be "evidence" for bible literalism and against the rest of science.

2. A conspiracy theory which suggests that all the scientists on the planet are corroborating on a scheme to turn the public away from their belief in God via the theory of evolution (not only atheist scientists, but Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Hindu scientists are in on this anti-God scheme; go figure). Of course, like all conspiracy theories, you will be accused of being naive by the paranoid masses if you happen to use your brain and actually think about how it's not only impossible for thousands of people to be in on a lie without a single one of them having the scruples to come forward and expose said lie, but also impossible for snakes to talk.
1. Creationist: "Did you know Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed? That proves evolution is wrong and creationism is true!"
Someone who doesn't have his head up his own ass: "That claim was refuted over 100 years ago. And you wonder why scientists don't take you morons seriously?"

2. Creationist: "What? You mean you DON'T believe in fire-breathing dragons and a global flood which has no evidence? You mean you actually believe what scientists say about science and not my pastor? What's wrong with you? Well don't worry, I'll pray for you."
by Awesome Dog August 12, 2008
The modern equivalent of a geocentric universe. Science proves irrefutably that causal, linear events led up to the ecosystem we see today. Since this idea just so happens to go against Christian doctrine, it is condemned by many Christians, who put forth a pseudoscience known as creationism, or intelligent design, in response.

Creationism is non-scientific, as there is no way to test it using empirical data. Many creationists see perceived flaws in evolutionary theory as proof that creationism is true and provable. This is not true because

1.The so-called flaws are rooted in the misunderstanding or ignoring of the mechanics of evolution. Arguments such as "irreducible complexity" illustrate that creationists do not understand the process of evolution. Evolution is yet to be discredited in the scientific community, where it is accepted universally.

2.Disproving one theory does not make another theory any more credible. Even though theory A may have been disproved, theory B still must make its case based on sound scientific data.

Creationists also believe that the world is in the order of 6,000 years old, which can easily be disproved with radiometric dating. Creationists say that this technology is inaccurate, but have no proof of this whatsoever. Creationists also use the argument "Evolution is just a theory." All that this argument does is show that they don't understand what a scientific theory is.

Debunking creationism (by virtue of exposing the fallacy of the "young Earth" theory) is very easy. Any high school student has the capability to do so. Scientists do not waste their time even addressing it at this point, as there has never been so much as a single piece of evidence in support of it. Those who claim to be creation scientists are not scientists at all, as they cannot apply the scientific method to their theories.
Jill: The theory of evolution is just that -- a theory. It's yet to be proven in any way.
James: Gravity is just a theory, too. You should really read a book sometime. Besides the bible.

Hugh: God created the Earth 6,000 years ago with the entire ecosystem completely intact as we see it today.
Al: Um, dinosaur?
Hugh: Put there by the devil to deceive us.

Jenny: If evolution is true, how come we've stopped evolving?
Sally: Evolution takes place over long periods of time. You can't see it in your lifetime. We are still evolving.
Jenny: That's just stupid. You'll believe anything they tell you.

Will: Evolution is proven to be false by the gaps in the fossil record. In fact, the fossil record does more to disprove evolution than anything else. This proves creationism to be true.
Ben: Where did you hear that? We know that the ancestors of all sea mammals are land mammals. We can see where homo sapien and neanderthal split off on two separate paths. You're just parroting what some wacky creationist said on TV, aren't you?
Will: At least I'll spend the rest of forever in eternal bliss. You're going to hell. What good will your evolution do you then?
Ben: :P

Billy: So, now that I have proven that your crackpot evolution theory is wrong, you must accept my theory as true. My theory is that a giant potato-beast named pot-thak-to dreamed the universe one night 50 years ago and it came to be.
Alice: Good point. Which way to his temple?
by SmashCrab March 14, 2008
This is a belief which was invented to explain why we are all here. Basically it states that the world was created by some greater being (God). But then who created God? The theory of Creationsim falls flat through stating the Earth is thousands of years old, despite the fact it was proved to be billions of years old through scientific research. Creationists mock the theory of evolution and condemn the teaching of evolution at school. Evolution seems like the most sensible theory to me. Ah, but then howcome there are so many gaps in the evolutionary pathway? For one thing, it is a real fluke that an animal survives in fossil form, a billion-to-one chance requiring exactly the right geological conditions. Yes, we have a lot of skeletons in museums, but they are nothing when you consider how many animals have existed over the history of time. For another thing, it has been suggested that evolution takes place in jumps rather than gradually (a new, more evolved species suddenly starts appearing, gradualy takes over the older species). As for the teaching of evolution at school, it is taught as a theory. You don't have to believe in it. On the other hand, teaching Creationism at school involves indoctrinating children. I still remember being told that "God is always watching us and can punish us if we act or think wrongly". It makes me laugh when certain Creationists complain about CCTV cameras everywhere or the government spying on us all. Beliefs like Creationism were the Big Brother and the CCTV cameras of their day, were used to control the working classes. Now George W Bush is talking about teaching Creationism in schools in the USA instead of evolution. I can't help feeling all he really wants to do is create a brainwashed army to fight a religious war against Muslims.
A certain Creationism-believing journalist equates anyone who believes in evolution with genocidal murderers, tells us how narrow-minded they are. That's funny, because the religious people I've met are some of the most narrow-minded, snobbish, hypoctrical bigots I've ever had the misfortune the come across.
by Stormsworder December 05, 2006
Creationism explained:
God + Adam + Eve -times- Cane -minus- Abel + Seth -divided by- Lilith -times- Eve's sister-in-law -divided by- dinosaurs -times- 42 -times- E=mc2 -divided by- Infinity + H2O -times- Monosodiumglutinate -minus- The Monolith + hot air + the sound of a honking horn + The Secret Ingredient -minus- your opposable thumb = ALL THAT IS AND EVER SHALL BE! AMEN!

I hope that clears things up for you.
According to the Religious Right, "evolution" was just Darwin trying to explain his wife to his friends and the idea caught on! "Creationism" is, of course, the ONE TRUE and ONLY explanation for human existance. Anybody who says otherwise should have their opposable thumbs chopped off!
by Carl J. Maltese October 02, 2007
1a. A minority Christian doctrine that rejects science, promotes stupidity, bullshit, and will do anything irrational.

1b. It is a hypocritical sect that claims to not believe in magic, but instead they promote their own form of magic.

1c. Basically, it's the same thing as Holocaust denial, that is, they both promote something irrational, childish, and unsubstantiated over something supported by incredible amounts of evidence and years of hard work, and both degrade a group of people (creationism degrades scientists; Holocaust denial degrades Jews).
Creationism is an excuse for being stupid.
by Creationismisfuckingstupid June 10, 2010
(non-ignorant person) Oh really? Which version?
(non-ignorant person) ...
by InjusticeForAll November 12, 2005

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