AIBU to thing if my husband does the laundry...

(50 Posts)
Imogencodpiece Mon 18-Nov-13 13:02:58

He should do it properly?

Iv been away this weekend for two nights and he has been left at home with the baby. Overall he has done a fantastic job house is lovely and tidy and baby is fed and happy and clean.

However he has done a couple of loads of washing. Now, this is normally my domain as i'm so particular about how things are washed, hung out/dried, folded and put away.

He has managed not to shrink anything but everything he has dried and folded is creased and inside out sad I feel like such a bitch to be annoyed but he has done this to 'help me out' and now i have to sort and iron and re fold and put away two loads of washing. usually ironing is practically non-existent because I'm so careful with how I wash and dry things.

I cant say anything, he has been brilliant overall!

Help me get a grip ladies :/

Bradsplit Mon 18-Nov-13 16:23:00

they arent fools, you lot are just enablers

ffs how can you love someone who cant wash his clothes?


FunnyRunner Mon 18-Nov-13 16:25:34

Although saying that I think I get annoyed because I don't see why DH should get to be a manchild. He has a responsible job - he isn't stupid - he's just careless with house stuff in a way that he isn't with work stuff.

And then part of me thinks, well at least he does something around the house unlike some lazy bastards but the other part thinks, of course he does stuff, it's 2013, not 1913! Why should he get a medal for cleaning a pan properly?

<May be frothing at the mouth a bit here>
<Backs away from thread> grin

FunnyRunner Mon 18-Nov-13 16:25:56

Brad x-posted grin

SilverApples Mon 18-Nov-13 16:26:16

I can wash my clothes!
I just don't fold and iron and faff about like he does. When I met him, I used to do two washes, whites and coloureds. Who knew there were so many settings that needed to be used? Who cares?
OH does.

PrimalLass Mon 18-Nov-13 16:26:40

Mine is the same. It is because he puts too much in the drier than takes it out and dumps it in a hot heap.

pepperrabbit Mon 18-Nov-13 16:35:54

YAB a little bit U. My DH is rubbish at laundry, I am rubbish at cooking.
When I was very ill last year he had to do all of everything and bless him, he did his best with the washing. A few things shrank and no one had matching socks or pyjamas for weeks (which made me twitch tbh) but that's fine.
When he's not here obviously I keep the kids alive cook for the kids but he doesn't expect me to be whipping up a jus (if indeed you whip jus?).
Is the laundry clean? Then he's succeeded smile

Mim78 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:38:13

I agree with first few posts - just put the stuff away and don't worry about it!

Bluecarrot Mon 18-Nov-13 16:40:40

I don't want to be an enabler but I'm having to train him slowly! His mum lifts and lays for him and his siblings.

I made it very clear I would not be doing the same! Though one of his (two) jobs is to go the hand washing of dishes. There's some things that have been sitting for weeks unwashed ( biscuit tin, bottles for recycling etc) I want to bash him over the head with them tbh. He thinks I should just get on and do them, whereas I think its a matter of principal!

Our house is upside down ATM due to some renovation and it makes me v stressed feeling ( and I'm 8 months pregnant)
And "little" things like putting his dirty clothes away would make a huge difference to me. But he just doesnt get it.

unlucky83 Mon 18-Nov-13 16:40:45

Be grateful...when I was in hospital for a week DP did a really good tidyish, DDs clean, made it to school etc
He even washed the laundry mountain I was going to do on the day I was taken in - except he washed everything on a boil wash and tumble dried on full blast...that was all both DDs leggings (some brand new) and school shirts ruined ... (but amazingly everything else seemed to survive).
Didn't say anything and I left it a few weeks before showing him how to use the different programs on the washing machine...but he still puts everything in on a boil wash hmm...

MammaTJ Mon 18-Nov-13 16:43:12

Just wash a towel and stick the clothes in the tumble drier with the damp towel. It will all be fine!

Preciousbane Mon 18-Nov-13 16:45:20

Inside out laundry caused the biggest row I have witnessed when at dinner at my friends house. I made the error to mention the inside out laundry again about two years later, cue more arguing between them. It then descended in to how she always left her shoes in the hall for him to fall over.

silverten Mon 18-Nov-13 16:50:07

Mmmmm, I think some things you are justified in commenting on- so if one of you boil-washes everything and ruins good clothes, that is reasonable to talk about- it's a waste of good clothes and creates more work to replace them.

Stuff not being folded in the right way- not so much.

DH and I are the opposite of your AIBU:

He occasionally has a bit of a whinge that I've washed his shirts and not hung them up the way he likes them (he does the ironing and has a particular way of doing it). This pisses me off. However I don't have to do the bloody ironing, he does, so sometimes I make a bit more of an effort. Sometimes I stop washing his shirts as a result.

He also moans a bit about how I might have folded the duvet cover (apparently the folds have to be really straight. who knew?) when hanging it up. I do not give a tiny shite about how the bedding is folded so I ignore this.

hels71 Mon 18-Nov-13 17:22:55

I just wish my DH knew where the washing machine was and how it works........

TheFabulousIdiot Mon 18-Nov-13 17:26:40

I think you need to get a grip.

My DH leaves all washing until he has no clothes left then does 4 loads and hangs wet washing off every bit of furniture he can find. you're lucky!

Imogencodpiece Mon 18-Nov-13 17:41:13

well, looking at all posts i suppose IANBU to be a bit annoyed but its my issue not his. so i need to suck it up.

the damp towel in the tumble dryer is a genius idea! why have i never thought of this?

i do need to be grateful, my exsil used to 'help' by hanging my washing out by just the corners so everything pulled out of shape angry

JamNan Mon 18-Nov-13 17:43:03

Imogen I feel your pain! DH dries clothes in the tumble dryer until it forms a boiling hot fabric football!

You might have to rewash some of it but do try what Mamma TJ suggested (a wet towel in the tumble dryer can sometimes work wonders and 'uncrease' it).

Your DH sounds lovely. Very gradually introduce him to the shortcuts that might turn him into a Laundry Maid Extraordinaire.

Imogencodpiece Mon 18-Nov-13 17:43:15

even after i asked her not. angry

Imogencodpiece Mon 18-Nov-13 17:44:26

not to*

DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld Mon 18-Nov-13 19:07:00

DP has no problem using the washing machine except when it's my clothes but doesn't tend to see things need doing until it gets to a horrendous state. I was away for 4 days in September, and I think he did a grand total of one load of washing. Nothing else. I was not a happy bunny.

So YANBU for being annoyed, but it could be so much worse!

42andcounting Tue 19-Nov-13 13:24:31

Mine washed all his white work shirts with nothing else at the weekend, apparently could not put them in with cream babygros & cot blanket because "they're not white & will ruin my shirts". Then later he washed the same cream babygros & blanket with red towels. I asked him why and he said "well they're all coloureds". He then started pegging the (big) blanket & muslins up on the sock hanger, by one corner. I'm still happy that he did the wash though, as it meant I didn't have to!

mitchsta Tue 19-Nov-13 14:19:47

It would upset me too - my washing is folded in a certain way too - but YABU. If my OH goes to the effort of doing the washing (which does happen occasionally) I always resist the urge to tell him how I think it should be dried/folded too.

ProcessYellowC Tue 19-Nov-13 14:29:05

Again, I'd say YABU and YANBU. I had a very similar thing, and when it happened a few times I just v. politely asked DH not to wash my clothes. I didn't care about his and DS'. Mine had to be half decent for work - they don't need ironing if hung right. The arrangement worked well, he was a SAHD at the time so did all of his and DS', I tended to just wash mine and bung some of DS' in if there was room.

CuChullain Tue 19-Nov-13 14:35:40

I would not bother having a row over it.

These kind of threads kind of amuse and depress me, on the one hand you have the drama of laundry folded the 'wrong way', and on the other hand you have casual use of phrases like 'man child' and 'training' as if their OH is some kind of circus chimp. Mrs CuChullain is rubbish at changing an oil filter in the car, taking out the big bins, cooking, food shopping and ironing. I dont moan about it, I do it, because I am better at it and it takes less time, I am not resentful, we both have our strengths and weaknesses, she does loads of stuff that I am crap at, but between us we have a roughly equal share of domestic chores. On the odd occasion when we stray into each others chores territory we accept the well intentioned help, not bitch about the manner in which it was carried out.

LittleBabySqueakSqueak Tue 19-Nov-13 17:05:10

But "help" isn't helpful if it makes more work than there was in the first place. It takes a minute or so to put a load of washing on, another minute to put in dryer or 5 min to hang up, but a good hour to iron it, which wouldn't have needed doing if it had been done right in the first place. YANBU to be annoyed.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 19-Nov-13 17:44:02

kwym - my dp sometimes does the washing and if winter then hang inside on drier in spare bedroom, but he doesnt shake and ends up creased

i hate ironing and rarely never iron so this bugs me as then i need to rehang

same for summer, if he pegs out clothes on garden, he always pegs wrong way up/down and pegs undies on outside where all can see blush and not inside, where as small dry better then jeans being inside iyswim

he means well, and i always tell him and always re hang as bugs me grin

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