we can't giggle, it's a crime scene.

(raise my hands, paint my spirit gold)

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TV - Boardwalk Empire
More finales! And other things. GAME OF THRONES: Wow, OK, a lot of people are mad about this one, and I see why. The Robb/Cat scene was way off, and I'm pretty sure we were 'supposed' to side with Robb there, and I am not here for that. I actually didn't mind the Robb/"Talisa" scene all that much, though, because while her story went on far too long, at least we're seeing some actual passion between them, and that'll help the story later on. (I totally thought her saying that her parents were "at a wedding" was some big ol' foreshadowing, but no.) The nudity is pretty unbalanced, though, good grief. Loving everything about the Jaime/Brienne road trip, as well as the Tyrion/Bronn/Varys comedy hour; I'd watch endless reels of that. But again, they're really piling on the Tyrion/Shae feels, and that's just killing me. They really do have sweet chemistry together, and I feel like they're trolling us so hard. D:

Dany's story...is still kinda boring, though. I realized why I don't like Jorah's pining for her and her disinterest in him: it feels like blocking, in the improv-acting sense of the term--like, as a character I get if she's not in love with him, but story-wise, her refusal just grinds their dynamic to a halt. There's really nowhere to go, emotionally speaking, if he's all "I LOVE YOU" and she's just like "yeah, no." But, whatever. Jon/Ygritte is still awesome, and it was kinda cool to give the dragonglass moment to Sam. And of course Arya/Jaqen are still das beste. "A man can go kill himself." HEH. And the Theon/Asha scene was great; I wasn't expecting that oddly tender moment at the end, but I loved it. This season has its flaws, but I'd say the Greyjoy character development is the best thing about it. (And the Bran/Rickon reveal was a little early and killed the suspense a little, but it's still going to wreck me when Cat gets the news. ;___;)

THE BORGIAS: Is "turd" the word we want? Really? Are we sure? I have issues with this show's period-appropriate language sometimes, and I was kind of side-eyeing that bit. Which may be the most ridiculous criticism I've had in a while. So we're really putting Juan over the edge of Crazy Falls, it seems--I'm enjoying David Oakes' performance, but I hope they don't let him get too cartoony. It has to be meaningful when, you know, [spoiler]Cesare kills him, presumably, maybe, soonish. Good Lord @ that syphilis treatment, btw. D: Lucrezia continues to be awesome, unsurprisingly; I love the way she goes after what she wants. The promo for the next episode was awesome--"You're a Borgia. Marry one and have the other." HA! Missed Giulia and Vittoria this week, though. And Machiavelli officially won me over when he was making fun of the annoying church kids; I'd be totally down for a Cesare/Michelotto/Machiavelli threeway buddy comedy. I loved that Savonarola, for all his bluster, is silenced by one glare from Michelotto. (Darling. ♥) And Caterina is still awesome and that was tragic to watch, but really, either kill Juan or don't; don't just fail to do so and make him crazier. You gotta go Hawkeye on that motherfucker. I actually kinda thought she'd mercy-kill her own son with an arrow so Juan would have nothing to bargain with, but hey, her thing was good too.

THE BIG C: Well, shit. I knew/was hoping that the adoption thing wouldn't go through as planned (because seriously, these people should not be responsible for another human), but I didn't think they were faking the entire thing. Geez. That seems like way too much work to me. Like, if you wanna scam people, there are way simpler methods. Just go on Craigslist for ideas. I enjoyed the "throuple," naturally, though it was kinda obvious that it would immediately go wrong, which is annoying. Will I never have my OT3 dream?! I'm back to hating Adam--frankly, I think I deserve credit for wavering at all in my desire to kill him. His sanctimonious bullshit is insufferable, as he's really only doing it to show up his mother (and for, you know, backdoor access with that bland girlfriend of his). The A.V. Club pointed out that too many episodes end with Cathy doing something ~crazy~ and now I can't unsee it, but I did laugh when she drove the car out of the tent with the t-shirts still on the hood. But seriously, please tell me we're going somewhere with this Andrea/Ababou storyline other than just "she has a fro and is mad at everyone, LOL!"

HOUSE (SERIES FINALE): OK, so I spent the last few weeks catching up with the recent eps, and I gotta say: NHF the Wilson-cancer thing. At all. It feels shamelessly manipulative and tacked-on and it's as bad as the Kutner thing--like, it made no sense for him to kill himself, but it was dramatic, so they went with it and explained as "sometimes these things don't make sense!" NO. However, Hugh & RSL were just killing the material, and House/Wilson has always been the heart of the show, so it was still giving me feels despite my annoyance. I was really hoping the show would end with them together, either dead or alive, and I admit that was very sweet:

[me gusta RSL with the scruff, tbh] I CANNOT BELIEVE I didn't think that we might get Reichenbach'd. CANNOT. I have been wallowing in "Sherlock" sads since JANUARY and the episode aired on PBS THIS WEEK and...geez. I am so dumb, forreal. But I thought it worked: a straight-up happy ending would never have felt authentic, but this was both sweet and incredibly depressing. They got to be together, but Wilson's still gonna die, and House literally gave up his entire life for him. (It really got to me that his mom thought he was dead. Damn.) I'm...not sure who we're supposed to think it was that Wilson saw in the building, but...maybe he was just imagining he saw House? Whatever. It was kinda awesome to see everyone back, even Stacy (!), but Cuddy not being there was glaringly obvious and I am still tremendously pressed about that whole thing. I mean, build them up for SIX YEARS, get them together in a really sweet way, then break them up in the most mean-spirited way ever after half a season, and then he drives his car into her house and then she's gone forever? Now THAT'S how you bungle a will they-won't they. Bloody hell. But Kutner & Amber, awww. And really, the best part was the retrospective thingy before the episode--I am the world's biggest sucker for cast!friendships (obvsly), and it was so obvious that the cast/crew all really loved each other, particularly Hugh. It's ridiculously endearing to me when the star, like, celebrates the craft services people, you know? ♥♥♥ And LOL, paintball. :D

So while the show was ultimately a letdown in some ways, at least the behind-the-scenes stuff was presh. (And Jesse Spencer plays the violin?! Me gustaaaaaaa) I will miss its glory days, because they were awesome, and House/Wilson banter, and Hugh's eyes in my life every week. ;___;

GLEE (FINALE): Oh, good gracious. First of all, I'd like to share that when James Lipton appeared, I started screaming like the girl from The Ring was crawling out of the television. Or like Joaquin Phoenix in Signs when he sees the video of the alien. IT WAS REALLY TRAUMATIZING FOR ME OKAY. WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SIR. OH MY GOD. DDDDD: That being said, at least Finn didn't get in, thank the Lawd. But Kurt's just...doing nothing now? Because he didn't apply to anywhere else? And I guess Mercedes and Mike are off the show? Well, at least they actually got to have dreams and stuff. I ACTUALLY CANNOT with Quinn throwing herself at Puck to make him ~believe in himself (though lol sorry Teen Jesus, none for you), nor can I with Rachel deferring her admission and Finn the Hero forcing her into going to NYC--and Kurt dedicating his song to "the men in the room," oh my GOD--but yay, Gloria Estefan! Shame they didn't actually let her sing, but I read that she had this whole headcanon for Santana's mom and her backstory, and I just LOVE when actors do that. ♥ So is Santana going to New York, or...? Oh, never mind. Next season I am calling that Faberry will become canon and Sue's baby will have Inspirational!Down's and Finchel will eventually reunite after a while, and...that's all I got. And with that, the sun sets on my...day in the sun with "Glee." Normally I am a bitter-ender, but I just have no fucks to give anymore and next season sounds sketchy as hale, so I am bowing out. But I'll still download the good songs, because I do live for music. I am totally Fox-free now! And I have my Tuesdays free, unless something else gets moved! It's like daylight savings, but more! What will I do with my newfound freedom? (Who are we kidding: moar movies.)

Also: 5 Seconds of Every #1 Billboard Hot 100 Hits From 1993-2011. OUTSTANDING. Cannot stop listening. It's hilarious how I know/loved most of the songs at the beginning, and then increasingly fewer and fewer as the years go on and I became more of a grumpy, NPR-listening, get-off-my-lawn curmudgeon--and my average shoots up again around 2009 when "Glee" started, because of all the covers they did. CURSES! BEGONE!

Oh, and I watched 21 Jump Street tonight, and I cannot even pretend I didn't laugh. A lot. "Stop fuckin' with Korean Jesus! He ain't got time for your problems! He busy! With Korean shit!" Oh my god, crying.

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