Confessions of a Sega Saturn Owner

[align=center]So, what was it like owning that other 32 bit console in the mid 90s?[/align]








And then, along came the Sony Playstation.










Fighters Mega Mix

I think this is the game that really justified owning the Saturn for me. As far as I am concerned, it was the best 3D fighting game on a home console, up until Tekken 3, anyway. And it certainly kicked the crap out of whatever overrated games were on the PS1 at the same timeframe. Battle Arena Tush En Den? The hell are you trying to sell me on, Sony?

Anyway, Fighters Mega Mix was basically a game combining the rosters of two really great Sega fighting franchises, Virtua Fighter and Fighting Vipers, plus some kooky special characters, including a bear with only two attacks, a kung fu fighting cactus, and a giant green duck monster. For what reason. . . I really cannot tell you.

As I was saying, this was the first 3D fighter on a console DONE RIGHT, and I played the ever loving crap out of it. By the time the Wings won their second cup, I was pretty much UNSTOPPABLE with Akira, and if you had the grapes to challenge me on the elevator level, you were getting your ass Hans Gruber-ed in under 20 sec flat.

In a way, this was the Sega equivalent of Super Smash Bros., only based around a TECHNICAL fighting engine instead of whored out guest stars. It s really hard to say much more about the game, other than the fact that it was a top-notch, thinking man s fighter. It may not have been the greatest killer app ever released, but it was good enough to warrant ownership of the machine, in my humble opinion.

Baku Baku Animal

NEVER underestimate the power of an addictive puzzler. Tetris pretty much gave Nintendo the handheld market on a silver platter, and Baku Baku Animal may very well have been the game that kept me holding on to the hopes of future Sega greatness.

You scoff at such lofty praise? This is easily one of the best puzzle games I have ever played, and a game, on my radar at least, that is worthy of mention in the same breath as such vaunted genre standards as Tetris Attack and Bust-A-Move.

Well, the only games out there that require LESS explication than the fighting genre are puzzle titles, I suppose: in Baku Baku Animal, it is your job as the invisible hand of god (or whatever) to mix and match some animal heads with their corresponding foodstuffs. For example, you have to rearrange the blocks so that the puppy gets a bone, the monkey a banana, so on and so forth. It sounds incredibly simplistic, but in its uncomplicated game play lies a deceptively engaging (and demanding) little arcade puzzler. This was the kind of game that I would play when I had thirty minutes to kill, and end up playing for two hours straight. It may not be an all time classic in anybody else s book, but for me, this was hands down one of the most memorable titles of the 32-64 bit era.

Resident Evil

You did know the original RE was not a PS1 exclusive, right?

Anyway, the controls on the PS1 were HORRENDOUS, and on the Saturn (especially sans the dual shock controller), the tank controls were even MORE migraine inducing. That being said, I positively ADORED this game when it first came out, and I cannot lie, I still feel my heart swell whenever I hear someone utter the words don t, open, and door in the same sentence.

I was going through a pretty big George A Romero phase at the time, so I loved RE more than a fat kid loved cake, ice cream and chicken nuggets combined. Yes, the lines were cheesy, the controls were next to impossible to master and some of the game design was flat out ridiculous, but this game absolutely EMBODIED everything that I loved about crappy horror. Who out there DOES NOT recall the dog jumping through the window and freaking the hell out? That was one of the definitive moments in 90s gaming, and a moment that, to this day, makes me jump out of my seat a little.

The game had faults, and I will never forgive Capcom for including such a horrific save system in the title (it was not until about a YEAR of playing that I realized the game even HAD a save feature), but there is so much nostalgia packed in this game that I cannot help but reflect on it with much splendor and joy.
Man, anybody else craving a Jill sandwich right about now?

NiGHTS into Dreams

A beautiful game in its own right, and probably the closest the Saturn got to replicating the success of Super Mario 64. Although that is the game this one is ALWAYS compared to, I always kind of likened this title more to something like Pilot Wings, or even an Ecco the Dolphin title. The game certainly has a sense of exploration (despite being fairly linear in design), but everything is just so aesthetically pleasing and finely tuned that it seems like you are doing something MORE than just riding rails. Anytime a game can make you think you are doing MORE than you are actually doing is certain a rarity in gaming, regardless of the timeframe.

The controls in this game were absolutely spot-on, and probably the best flight controls in gaming up to that point. This game was also the best example of analog stick gaming to come out on a home console until Ape Escape, as it made that old ass D-Pad feel downright antediluvian by comparison.

Nights is without question a tremendous game, but I think gamers tend to give it a little bit TOO much credit. It was a top-notch title, for sure, perhaps even one of the 100 best titles of the decade, but it certainly had some flaws, namely, the repetitive game play and the absurdly easy difficulty level. For what it was, however, it was an immensely enjoyable experience, and the sort of game the Saturn should have had SCORES of in its library. A financial bomb when originally released, this game is now heralded as a cult classic, and for good reason: it is one of the best games on the Saturn, and one of the best 2D to 3D transitional games you will ever come across.

Clockwork Knight I & II

These games deserved SO much more attention than they received. OK, so the games may be an incredible rip off of Toy Story, but they are also among the best pseudo 3D action games I have ever played. This was, fundamentally, Sega s answer to Donkey Kong Country, and while I think that the games were no quite up to that caliber, I still think they are some pretty damn good games, and the kind of underrated mid 90s titles that really make you feel nostalgic for the Clinton years.

Anyway, the two Clockwork Knight games are about a toy soldier, armed with a key (that I am willing to say that Square Enix ripped off for Kingdom Hearts) that hops across a 2.5D environment. Ultimately, this is a 2D platform game with 3D caliber visuals, and all of the hopping and bopping you would expect from a good Donkey Kong Country-esque title.

The cut scenes are really well done, the music is great, the boss fights are awesome, and while there is probably a surplus of runaway mine cart stages (you know, those stages were you are riding atop a speeding object while avoiding sundry obstacles, the kinds that have been mandatory for ALL platform action hybrids since Battle Toads), these two games are certainly above average when it comes to a majority of the plat formers of the era. In a way, I liken it to a Treasure title (like Gunstar Heroes or Dynamite Headdy), with less gun play and a more laid-back emphasis on exploration (essentially, these two games are Vector Man on valium). These games may not be up to snuff with Tomba or Klonoa, but there still pretty damned enjoyable plat formers that I think any genre fan would be wise to seek.

Burning Rangers

This is a game that I only VAGUELY recollect. Ultimately, it was sort of like a Jet Force Gemini type game, only a couple of years before that one was released. In Burning Rangers (not to be confused with Power Rangers, right?), you play as a group of intergalactic firefighters that fly around in mech suits and extinguish fires on space bases. Yeah, it really does not sound like the most enticing idea in the world (a sci-fi fire fighting sim?), but it was, for the most part, a pretty enjoyable little title.

Opinions about this one kind of fluctuate. Pretty much every one loves the music, and the visuals were pretty damn good considering the hardware limitations, but the unorthodox game play (which basically entailed you running around in mazes trying to find fires in a specified amount of time) turned off a lot of casual fans that just wanted the same old same old. Burning Rangers was not a game that set the world on fire (god, what a horrible pun), but it is not a bad way to spend a couple of bored afternoon hours, either. It is not a classic, and it is not garbage: it is what it is, which is an enjoyable, if not somewhat forgettable, high concept title that succeeds more than it falters.

Bug Too!

This is a game that had some MAJOR problems. For starters, who in the hell even wanted a sequel to Bug! To begin with? Are there not ENOUGH crappy third rate platform game mascots as it is? Sheesh, like we NEED another Gex or Bubsy on the market. . .

Anyway, since Sega did not trot out a 3D Sonic title for the Saturn, they ATTEMPTED to placate us with this affront to God. It is not often that you can use the terms Sega, Shitty and Platform in the same sentence (unless you are talking about there post Dreamcast releases, of course), but I will be ten kinds of damned if Bugged Too! Is not one of the most shockingly lackluster Sega made titles I have ever played. . . And that is coming from a guy that actually LIKED The Flogian Brothers and Billy Hatcher!

Where to begin on this chunk of shit? Is it the fact that it tries WAY too hard with the smart ass humor? Is it the fact that the titular character is a green hued piece of crap lacking any sort of personality whatsoever? Is it the unfathomably horrific camera that leads you into blind jumping TIME and TIME again, or the hideous controls that make TURNING around harder than beating Mike Tyson in Punch-Out!!, or is it the fact that the game is so graphically poor that you cannot even TELL what it is that you are supposed to be looking at? This game is so blocky and jagged that you are better off squinting your eyes and mashing a Genesis controller in front of a Magic Eye painting: it is virtually the same visual, only mashing buttons while staring at a poster might actually get you a RESPONSE of some kind.

I really wanted to like this game. It is not the worst game I have ever played, and as long as you have a LOT of patience and time on your hands (not to mention the ability to differentiate pastel colored blobs from equally nondescript textures), you MAY find something redeeming about the game. . .somewhere.

If you have absolutely NOTHING else to do, you might be able to roll with this game. If not. . .steer VERY clear of it.

Three Dirty Dwarves

Believe it or not, this game was made by the same guys responsible for the Ecco games. If nothing else, you can certainly say that those guys have RANGE when it comes to crafting platform titles.

This was another game that merged 2D and 3D game play. The 2D animation was very well done, probably on par with whatever animated shows were on MTV at the time. Every now and then, the game would shift to a quasi 3D camera, usually for boss fights.

The game was loaded with irreverent humor. If you liked Ren and Stimpy or Earthworm Jim, you probably would have liked this game. You played as three characters simultaneously, all of whom had different attacks based around sporting gimmicks. One was a bowler, one was a baseball slugger and one was a rifleman: at certain junctures, you would have to switch between them to get past obstacles, so it was sort of a spiritual successor to The Lost Vikings, in a way.

The game had really great music, and the character design was awesome. For example, one of the enemies in the game is a robot that throws dogs at you, and another is a living, breathing gymnasium that pukes barbells at you. The game definitely had the goods as far as the visuals came, but the game play was ultimately lacking. The biggest problem I found with the title was the fact that you could not control the characters as a triad: that means you had to pause the game, switch characters, and move each member of your team manually. To say such a feature got old quick would be a pretty big understatement. It was also a pretty damn frustrating game, too, since the enemies required a gajillion hits to defeat. Factor that with the character switching, and you have yourself a recipe for virtual tedium.

All in all, this was a pretty entertaining little game, and one that I can safely say I got my fifteen dollars worth with. Hey, you would be amazed what kind of stuff you would find in the value bins at KB Toys circa 1998. . .

SCUD The Disposable Assassin

This game was absolutely HORRIBLE. In fact, it may very well be the WORST ten bucks I have ever spent. . . TO THIS DAY.

This game simply should not have been released. In addition to being buggy as all hell, the title was pretty much broken in the game play department. Half the time, the shoot button did not work: at first, I thought it was a short circuit in my controller, but as it turns out, the game IS that shoddily made.

The graphics were horrible, and hardly better than a SNES title like Lobo or Rise of the Robots. The sound was PARTICULARLY atrocious, especially considering the fact that the machine was capable of CD worthy audio. SCUD is just a lackluster title in all regards, which is sad really, because it was one of my favorite comics of the late 90s.

The game was notable because it consisted of both game pad and light gun play, making it sort of like a 32 bit cousin to Bayou Billy. The thing is, I never HAD the light gun for the Saturn, So I was stuck playing the first level OVER AND OVER. . . And it NEVER got any less frustrating and boring.

Long story short: I was better off spending my ten bucks on a five dollar bill than I was this affront to gaming.




The Verdict?

