'Expect a tough ride': Tips for the would-be MP

The first thing Michael needs to do is to find someone good in the constituency to advise him, and to introduce him to some of the key people in the association. A very good step forward would be to talk to a chap called John Corbett-Singleton, who was chairman of the association and lives in a very nice house on the King's Road.

What he needs is for a few people like Corbett-Singleton to hold drinks or dinner parties for him to break the ice a bit and get to know the members. He should certainly talk to Jean Craig, who is a very formidable lady married to a GP who gives terrific open-air parties.

When he meets people, he will have to convince them that he is not the sort of person who rocks the boat, that he is not going to cause them problems and nonsenses. He will have to think very carefully about how he presents himself, because people will not take kindly to the idea that he is simply using Kensington and Chelsea as a stepping stone to the leadership.

Just as they defied Central Office over Alan Clark, they will be very resistant to the idea that Michael's selection is a fait accompli. Like City and Westminster, the other great lordly constituency, they want to be able to put their own show together, to feel they are using their power to find someone who will see them through several decades.

When he was my number two in social security, whenever we went to gatherings at Number 10, Portillo always seemed to be near Thatcher, to be sniffing around her. But that won't impress people in Kensington and Chelsea. If he gets onto the list he should expect to have a tough ride because there are some fairly bloody-minded people on the association. I'm not sure I'd want to be in his shoes.

If he does get the seat, though, there are plenty of rewards. It's near enough to the House that you can have people round for dinner and get back for a vote at 10pm and then resume the jollifications afterwards.

Michael should be prepared for some unusual constituents though. By and large, they aren't the sort of people who come moaning and groaning to your surgery. They'd be more likely to invite you for a drink at their home to discuss a problem.

I did have one chap who came in and told me he had been having trouble with his wife. She had removed all the appliances from his flat and thrown them out of the window, but I managed to find someone who was wise and rich who did it all up for him.

Michael shouldn't worry about buying a house in the constituency just yet. I've no idea what his financial situation is, but the houses in Kensington and Chelsea are rarely less than seven figures. He certainly doesn't want to start swaggering around saying he's bought a million pound house - because people in Kensington and Chelsea don't think a million is a lot of money.

 Nicholas Scott was MP for Kensington and Chelsea, 1974-97