Save the snooze-worthy "most likely to succeed" superlatives for the high school yearbook.



Healthiest pre-New Year's resolution: Jay Z and Beyoncé

Think you're the only one lamenting your post-Thanksgiving pudge? For his 44th birthday, Jay Z decided to take a 22-day vegan challenge, accompanied by his wife, Beyoncé. The svelte superstars are calling it a "spiritual and physical cleanse," and plan to end their plant-based diet on Christmas Day. How's that for healthy inspiration, just in time for 2014?

Most cringe-worthy fake tweet: Paris Hilton

Shortly after revered South African leader Nelson Mandela died Dec. 5 at 95, the Twitter account @DeletedTweets posted a screenshot of a supposedly deleted tweet from Paris Hilton: "RIP Nelson Mandela. Your 'I Have A Dream' speech was so inspiring. Amazing man," which confuses Mandela with Martin Luther King, Jr. Yikes. As expected, the Twittersphere didn't take well to the mix-up, mocking the socialite for the remark. But BuzzFeed soon discovered the tweet wasn't real, and Hilton, who had been out of the loop while flying during the debacle, tweeted (for real) her condolences for Mandela upon landing and called out the bogus tweet's mystery creator. "Whoever made that stupid fake tweet lacks respect to the loss the world is mourning right now." You know, we've got to side with Hilton on this one.

Most unfortunate sound glitch: Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez didn't have such a jolly time at the Jingle Ball last week in Los Angeles. At the concert, the Come and Get It singer dropped an F-bomb ("What the (expletive)?!") onstage out of frustration with audio and microphone malfunctions. The curse was caught on video, leading to a moment when she probably would have preferred the mic to be broken. Gomez apologized after, saying to the crowd, "Sorry, the sound isn't working! Are you guys having a good night? I promise, a lot cooler people are gonna come out tonight."

Most shameful grab at 15 minutes of fame: Monica Warhol

In a move that would have made her "distant cousin" Andy either beguiled or bewildered by its brazenness, a woman named Monica Warhol co-opted her alleged relative's style and rendered fame-mistress Kim Kardashian in Day-Glo hues for a $30,000 piece commissioned by Kanye West. But then, after the portraits were publicly revealed Dec. 3, the whole thing went, well, pop: Confidants of Kim's cried scam, telling TMZ they'd never heard of the Tucson-based artist. The minor Warhol's defense? The pictures were to be a surprise from Kanye to his beloved, but now the surprise was scotched. So, Warhol reasoned, the couple don't want the pieces anymore. Was it all a brilliant, Warholian stunt of satirical performance art? Or an absurd attempt at getting bad art big attention? We're going with the latter.

Most frugal rich royal: Duchess Kate

She's a millionaire, her husband is a millionaire and the family she married into has more money than you know who. But that didn't stop the Duchess of Cambridge from wearing a $32 Zara necklace with a pricey Roland Mouret gown to a movie premiere last week. Not only that, it was a recycled gown she had worn to a private dinner last year. But don't ever call Kate cheap: In the same week, she wore a priceless diamond tiara to a reception.

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