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Coming a cropper

FARM worker William McKenna from Dunbartonshire is Scotland's latest lottery millionaire.

But as Chris Keegan in Easterhouse tells us: "I hope he doesn't emulate the farmer some years ago who was asked what he planned to do with a big pools win, and replied: 'I think I'll just keep on farming until it's all gone'."

Dead heat

WE asked about Hallowe'en, and a Brownie leader says: "After 39 years as Brown Owl I realise times have changed. Last night we had our Hallowe'en Party, and the best dressed prize went to a scary-looking Little Dead Riding Hood."

Tricked or treated?

AND another reader comments: "My favorite part about Hallowe'en is seeing all the confused Jehovah's Witnesses wandering around, wondering why they've been given sweets."

Pout with it...

WE mentioned the sayings of grannies, and we notice that Glasgow author Allan Morrison has brought out a book on the sayings of Glasgow grannies, Haud ma Chips, Ah've Drapped the Wean, which includes the tart advice given to children who don't get their own way: "Ah could hang oot ma washing oan that petted lip."

Solar energy

TALKING of children, Russell Martin in Bearsden was explaining to his five-year-old grand-daughter that the marks on his arms were caused by years working in the sun.

Says Russell: "There was a moment's pause before the next question. 'How did you get up there?' No answer to that one."

A cathedral of doom?

WE'VE not mentioned American tourists for a while, but George Thorley in Carluke was in Florence the other week marvelling at the gold mosaic ceiling of the 13th Century Baptistry of the Florence Duomo.

Says George: "Behind us sat two Americans who were also marvelling at this breathtaking ceiling. Says the elder to the younger: 'You know kid, this is old stuff. This is really old. We're talking Indiana Jones old'."

My little runway...

OUR tale of flying from Dundee Airport reminds Steve Barnet in Grangemouth: "I was flying to Manchester when Dundee was closed as the grass strip was being made into a 'proper' runway. We were bussed to RAF Leuchars to be greeted by the pilot who advised that the stewardess was away paying for the fuel with her credit card as the RAF wouldn't set up an account.

"He also said that he was contemplating taking off across the runway as the RAF had the audacity to put up the arrestor net when he landed on the mile-and-a-half runway when he really only needed a couple of hundred yards."

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