Horrible Idea Nightmare Phone Runs Windows 7 (Yes, the Desktop OS)

Here's something that shouldn't exist: the Fujitsu F-07C smartphone, which is really not smart at all, as it runs a full version of Windows 7. Not Windows Phone 7. Windows 7. On a 4-inch screen. Can this be reversed?

There is simply no possible way in which this is a good or even usable product. Even Windows 7 on a tablet is a mistake—and there, you have some room to swipe around. But this the equivalent of a goat driving a bus, or me coaching an Olympic gymnastics team.

Fujitsu claims the little mutant, with its Atom processor, "features functionality identical to that of a PC." Identical. Identical! Really? Identical? Yes, it's identical, sans mouse, touchpad, an actual screen, storage, ports, processing power or any of the other things that make a PC a PC. But perhaps Fujitsu is just working with a more liberal use of language, in which case the F-07C features functionality identical to that of a bicycle.

Oh wait, it does sport a QWERTY keyboard, which flips out for what Fujitsu calls "Windows Mode," otherwise known as "stab me in the fucking face" mode. It will be a joy to use Microsoft Office on this thing, I can tell. Have fun installing any other sort of software on this thing, ever.

And "Phone Mode" looks like a Chinese bootlegger started to rip off Android, ran out of amphetamines, and just gave up a third of the way through. It looks like nothing. Is it still Windows? What is it? Who approved this? Here are the full specs, if you are a masochist:

Weight: 218 g (with battery pack)
Continuous Standby Time: ~600 hours in FOMA 3G
Continuous Talk Time:
~370 minutes in FOMA 3G voice mode
~170 minutes in videophone mode
Display: ~4" wide SVGA touchscreen (1024 × 600 resolution)
Color: Navy Black

Windows® 7 mode

SSD: ~32 GB (eMMC)

It comes out tomorrow, in case you need a last minute birthday gift for someone you despise. And now, I go dunk my head in a bucket of ice water. [Fujitsu via TNW]