Meet Your New Inner-city Teen Menace

We were alerted to the existence of so-called 'party crews' by a breakdancing enthusiast who wanted to shoot down speculation that his people started the Philadelphia flash mobs. He said they were "party crews." What are these "party crews"?

The Philadelphia Inquirer has pinned "part of the flash mob phenomena" to "what kids call 'party groups'." As you might expect, these party groups throw parties. Sometimes the parties get out of hand, and then the media calls it a "flash mob." Because, why not? Sounds cool! But these party groups also "sport hoodies bearing the group's name"—just like gangs. And when they meet they "often clash over everything from general dislike and envy to trash-talking that starts on social-networking sites such as Facebook and Tinychat." The goal of these party crews—aside from clashing over everything—is to be voted Party Group of the Year "on a social network page such as Facebook." They also have party crews in Arizona. Uh oh: We smell an Inner-city Teen Menace!

Amazingly, this account sort of matches up with our tipster's correction. Yesterday we offered evidence that the Philly flash mob phenomena might be nothing more sinister and revolutionary than a few street performances that got out of hand. A group called Team Nike appeared to have organized at least two of the four flash mobs. But we called Team Nike a "breakdancing crew," because we are total squares. An apparent breakdancer was not happy, and he corrected us. They were "party crews!" Let him explain to all of us squares:


Well, there you go, Bill O'Reilly. We have a segment for your next show: Inner-city party crews: They're young, they're (largely) black, they're Internet-savvy, and they're out to get White America. Also, they talk real funny, as evidenced by this hilarious glossary provided by the Philadelphia Daily News:

Here are some phrases kids use today with which adults may not be as familiar:

* They be drawin' - doing something unnecessary

* Did da biz - Depending on how it's used, it can mean that someone was beaten up or that a party was fun.

* Itz gone Do 1 thing - It's going to be crazy, fun.

* The party gone POP - going to be fun.

* The party did the p—— - The party was extremely incredible.

* Buzz - popular.

* CTFU -crackin' the f—- up.

* SMH - shakin' my head.

Examples of messages drawing large crowds:

"South Street gone Do 1 thing 3/15 pass it on"

(One thing they don't say, according to the Inquirer: "Flash mobs." This is just something we squares labeled them because we believe everyone gets their ideas from Harper's editors and nerds thwacking pillows at each other.)

OK, let's blame all our problems on inner-city teen party crews now. It worked in the 90s: