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Family Guy Season 3 Episode 14 Quotes

Brian: "The Diary of Nate Griffin." May 7th, 1836. I was brushing down Lucy, the new colt, when she let out a fart right near my face. So I took her head and stuck it by my butt and blew a huge fart right back at her.
Peter: Hehehehehehe!
Brian: Oh, uh, that laugh's in here, too, see? "Hehehehehehehe..."

Peter: That's my son out there. I taught him how to wipe.
Jake: Why won't you teach me how to wipe, dad?
Tom Tucker: Because you don't have a bottom, son.
Jake: Aw!