Log in

I propose a toast.

A toast to those that swore would be there for you and are no more.
A toast to those who rub salt onto your wounds.
A toast to those that severe your limbs when you are trying to climb.
A toast to those who never cared and betrayed your trust.
A toast to those promises that were never keps.
A toast to those cuts you made upon your flesh and are not healing.
A toast to those moments you bawled like a baby and nobody came to hug you.
A toast to those nights you felt so cold and wished you had a body next to you.
A toast to those hands that will never hold yours again.
A toast to those endless sleepless nights that passed slowly and painfully.
A toast to all the friends that left you alone.
A toast to those boyfriends you gave your heart to and kept a piece when they left.
A toast to those silent tears falling about your face because you don't know HOW to fix youself.
A toast to those friends you love so much and that are far away.
A toast to those homework assgments that kept you awake at night.
A toast to those feelings that you can't seem to supress.
A toast to those seconds you were about to smile but coulnd't make it.
A toast to those bottles of tequila, emptied in an effort to feel better.
A toast to those numb moments of your life in which you just don't care.
A toast to those aches in your back, because stress is taking a toll on you.
A toast to those medical exams that say you are not fine.
A toast to those psychologists you never had and could have helped.
A toast to those small cuts in your arm that were supposed to help.
A toast to Gods you prayed to and never helped.
A toast to those movies you saw toghether and can't forget.
A toast to those blue eyes.
A toast to those brown ones.
A toast to those breathy moans lost in the night, that will never come back.
A toast to those moments with your dad that are fading with his age.
A toast to those fight with your mum that make you not trust her anymore.
A toast to those moments you just need to get out here.
A toast to those pillows that drowned your screams and sobs in the midnight moon.
A toast to those days you coulndn't get up off the bed.
A toast to those words that stabbed your heart.
A toast to those stolen kisses in your bed.
A toast to those stolen kisses that you deny so.
A toast to those love confessions you never meant.
A toast to those dreams of going away and find sucess.

And a final toast, to drown your sorrows, for you've had so much wine you've probably forgotten them.
I am breaking.

It's been 5 years since the last time I even considered cutting myself. And it's coming back.

I'm just fed up of everything.

I never do anything to ANYONE, I am NICE to people who treat me like shit.

I TRY and make my BEST effort and it NEVER pays off. And I know, I know it may, it will, eventually; but it's just SO hard.

I feel SO alone, even when I know I am anything but alone...
still, it's not the same…. I just come home and even though I like being by myself, I hate it when I am so stressed and I just want to hut myself but I never do, because I like to think that when things can't get any worse, the only route to follow is up and I have no one to just hug me and tell me I am going to be ok, because I can.

And I need someone like that, I NEED it and to some extent I want it; but on the other hand I don't because it means to get attached and that means having to break up because I am probably going to Japan in a year and having my heart broken right now is the last thing on my list.

I have so much shit to do and the day is not enough for me to do everything I HAVE to do.

And I am exhausted of life, everyday I am tired, all the time it feels like I haven't slept for weeks; every time I close my eyes I just think of the thing I have to do and dream that I am at school and end up with MORE things and I can't handle it anymore.

I AM BREAKING and I don't know how to fix myself.

I know, I know all about how strong I am and that if I could get myself out of my depression before, I can do it now but I am so tired I can't even try. 

I am functioning on autopilot most of the time.

And I don't know when am I going to run out of battery.

Mar. 17th, 2011

So...I came to know that the only way I can actually submit to dA is to upload my art here, then save again, then use the saved image to upload in dA, otherwise... the uploading takes 5 hours or so....

dA ID :D

Am I The Only One....

That absolutely LOVES the gay innuendo in the DC fandom?

Views within the industry

The Comics Bulletin website posed the question "Is Batman Gay?" to their staff and various comic book professionals. Writer Alan Grant has stated, "The Batman I wrote for 13 years isn't gay. Denny O'Neil's Batman, Marv Wolfman's Batman, everybody's Batman all the way back to Bob Kane... none of them wrote him as a gay character. Only Joel Schumacher might have had an opposing view." Writer Devin Grayson has commented, "It depends who you ask, doesn't it? Since you're asking me, I'll say no, I don't think he is ... I certainly understand the gay readings, though."[4] While Frank Miller has described the relationship between Batman and the Joker as a "homophobic nightmare,"[5] he views the character as sublimating his sexual urges into crime fighting, concluding, "He'd be much healthier if he were gay."[6]