Just when you thought you were safe from the Sex and the City women, they’re back. They’re back like the shark in Jaws, Chucky, Jason, Freddie and every other scary character who haunts the cinema. Still I have to see it from the fans point of view and agree that there’s material for the material girls from NYC. This is what I believe will happen to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha in Sex and the City: The Devil’s Spawn.

Samantha will get a sex change. Yes, the woman who always boasted of having sex like a man becomes a man. It is a logical progression to her story. How could it be more natural than Sam putting her money where it counts, not only going for the change but giving money to research to make sure it’s satisfyingly complete.

But what about Carrie and Big? With the economic downturn Big cannot bear to tell Carrie that he’s invest all of their money with Bernie Madoff.  They’re broke. How can Big tell Carrie it’s no more Dolce, Dolce, Dolce, but  Keds, Keds, Keds?  Unable to share this horrible news Big will sell his soul to the Devil or more precisely he’ll lend Carrie’s uterus.

They move into the Dakota, you know that spooky old apartment building where the exteriors of a certain horror film was shot in 1968.  They meet a mysterious couple played by Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. They ply Carrie with Manhattans, anti nuke literature and trips to upscale shoe stores.

Before you can say “Give Big a cigar” , Carrie will have Satan’s child who will be named Gabbana.

I don’t want to reveal much more, except to say that Charlotte finds she’s attracted to the newly male Sam(antha) and contemplates leaving Harry. And Miranda? Can’t say. It’s just too good.

Why is this sequel being made? Let me think. Oh, I know. Because the first film was a big success and made lots and lots and lots of money. And checking on the message board at IMDB there are people, okay mostly women, who are really wanting some more time with the fab four.

Oh, one more plot twist. Sam Jones marries Ivanka Trump, breaking poor Charlotte’s heart.

New Line plans to have the film in theaters in 2010. Just in time for the year of the tiger. Nope, there’s no year of the cougar.

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