Screaming Chicken-Trumping Firehawk for $12,500!

Pontiac's dispatched almost as many screaming chickens as Colonel Sanders. But despite that avian connection, today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe firebird is a hawk, not a hen, and you have to decide if its price is fair or fowl.

A pale and winter-worn 76% of you were ready to welcome spring by dropping the top on yesterday's uniquely painted RX7. The remaining 24% of you, however, weren't about to get flame-flammed by the mercurial Mazda. Many of the dissenters took issue with the added weight of the convertible, and how that would affect the modest horsepower delivery of the bantam 13B. Today's contender is more Tyson than Sugar Ray, and it has the reach and the fury of a heavyweight.

This 1999 Pontiac Trans Am Firehawk is claimed one of only 719 total, and 99 in pewter paint. These bulbous birds were the ultimate expression of the F-body fantasy, before they went the way of all things corporeal, followed shortly thereafter by the tits-upping of their parent.

The seller says that he has always babied it, changing its diapers regularly and habitually feeding it synthetic oil. That stuff must be good because it costs like 5-times what the regular stuff does, and is made not from pure dead dinosaur but from a magic elixir of reformulated dead dinosaur brewed by a mad scientist named Slick. Rocking a claimed 402 WHP and making some sick noises on the dyno, this Firehawk has obviously had some work done to it, including having a whole SLP catalog thrown at it.

With fewer than 7,000 miles a year showing on its digital odometer, the baroque body's plastic panels likely still have their dealership sheen, rather than the dull patina GM's poly-clad cars take on after a few years in the sun. Up top, there's T-tops, and down between the seats there's a fat knob so you can row your own with the six speed gearbox, although these cars have that goofy no-you-can't-put-it-there-right-now shift block. Punching it every launch will override that annoyance, and from the sound of the dyno run you'd be wanting to do that anyway.

The seller is so excited about the car that he had to use ALL CAPS to describe it. He's also a Craigslist spammer, listing every possible vehicle (hey, Syclone!) that could compete for a buyers dough-rey-me. So, one the one hand, it looks like he's made some righteous mods (totaling $14K by his calculations) to an already quick machine, as well as maintaining it properly and documenting everything, which makes him sound all right. On the other hand, there's the ALL CAPS and the spam, as well his kind of dicky admonition that this Firehawk MAY NOT BE FOR EVERYBODY. Geez, no shit, sherlock.

But when it comes to the asking price, all is forgiven, as he's not demanding to recoup his investment and then some, but is willing to let the Firehawk go for $12,500, or a trade. A trade of what? Well, he apparently like '96 Impalas, so there you go.

So how about that twelve-five? Do you think that's the going rate for a pumped up Pontiac like this? Or, does that price make this one bird you'll just have to leave to the Colonel?

You decide!

Bay Area Craigslist or go here should the seller's caps lock key break.
