I'm in DESPERATE need of help. I'm so worried

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Force a child to eat or not?

Comments (64)

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Posted 01/23/2013

I won't force feed either. I only prepare a different meal for DS if I've made something I cannot expect him eat at his current age. Such as sushi. I don't do the no eating before breaskfast thing either. There's always a snack between dinner time and bedtime anyway.


polyamorous | genderqueer | atheist

Posted 01/23/2013
I guess I'm the only one... Just tonight my 7 year old went to his room for not eating his dinner. I cater to his taste buds for breakfast and lunch, but for dinner he will eat what I make. I'm a good cook, use lots of veggies, and HATE wasting food. I give him very small portions, especially if its something I know he doesn't care for. Tonight it was tomato basil soup. He had his mind made up that he wasn't going to eat it before we even sat down to dinner.

He has a few "off limits" foods that I don't make him eat like mushrooms, cooked carrots or pasta. He's chosen those himself as his no questions-asked doesn't have to eat. These are things that he has tried repeatedly and just doesn't care for. But everything else is fair game.

He's notorious for not eating dinner and asking for snacks almost immediately after. I'm sorry, but I spend a great deal of time, money, and energy on preparing healthy, well-balanced organic meals for my family. And I deserve dur respect for doing so. He knows the rules and chose to read in his room until bed time.

I do not believe this fosters an unhealthy relationship with food. He now eats several things that he wouldn't otherwise.
Posted 01/23/2013
Posted 01/23/2013
Meal rules in our house are each meal one of them gets to choose a side from a choice of three I list out. Ex, lunch today was Mac & cheese and daughter chose broccoli as a side. Tonight was kabobs, rice and son chose green beans. That way they are more excited to eat the meal. Sometimes it doesn't work if they want the meal they can eat, if not its out on the table for 30 minutes then gone. If they are hungry later they get fruit.

L & M- 12/07

Mainstream Mom to ^8/07^ @ 12 weeks, A 10/08, M 8/10, ^6/11^ @ 8 weeks, P 7/12, M 1/14

Last edited 01/23/2013

If my DS fights me at dinner and won't eat, then he just gets excused and doesn't eat. I don't force him to eat. But if he doesn't eat what I give him, I don't make a million different things. Since you said you have no problem with Breakfast and Lunch, have you thought of maybe switching meals? Having breakfast for dinner, and dinner for breakfast or lunch? Try it and see if that works. GL!

Posted 01/23/2013
There are a whole lot of unhealthy food attitudes in my family. I wont make food a punishment or battle with dd. she can choose to eat or not. If she chooses not to eat then she doesn't get anything else till her next snack or meal time. However even if she eats every bite we typically don't let her snack in between her set meal/snack times

Take My Hand, Not My Picture Spelled my T-Shirt

Mama to 1 Hopefully Mama to 2 soon

Posted 01/23/2013

I do things very similarly to you, OP, and I very strongly disagree with punishing anybody for not eating.  "Eat what your tummy wants" (wrt amounts) has been our mantra their entire lives.  Nor do I force them to eat anything I know they hate.  I pick what's for dinner.  I make sure there is at least one thing each person likes.  I encourage a bite or two of each thing.  You may have seconds of what you want once you've tried a little of everything, minus things I know you really don't like.  If you don't want it now, put it in the fridge in case you're hungry later.

Posted 01/23/2013

I'd also like to add that in a country where we are collectively suffering from a multitude of weight related health problems, forcing children to join the "clean plate club" makes no sense at all.  I want my children to listen to internal regulators to decide when they're hungry and what they need.  I also want them to enjoy their food.  Force feeding doesn't help with any of those goals.

Posted 01/23/2013
Forcing a child to eat when they're not hungry is completely different than forcing a child to eat something they don't want to or don't "like". I'd never force my children to finish anything unless it was a vegetable or fruit. But for a child to run the rules and only eat, say Mac n cheese (and for many of your households- get seconds!!) but only sample the veggies is far more detrimental to their body than having to eat their veggies for fear of having to go to their room. It isn't a matter of cleaning their plate in my house, it's respecting me, themselves, and food in general.
Posted 01/23/2013

OP I completely agree with you. If the child is hungry they will eat what you give them, even if that means heating the same plate back up later. Giving them alternative meals is a bad idea because they won't try anything new.

As for Anyway, I was watching Supernanny today and her philosophy was that you eat a certain amount of each food on your plate (not just one bite) in a set amount of time (30 min) or you get a time-out.

I disagree. More so because I know many people who were forced to eat X amount of food at dinner and they are overweight. They partically blame it on the fact that as a child they were taught you have to eat a certain amout or you are bad, and that slowly changed into a bad habit as they grew up. I'm not saying that it's tru or their is any evidence to it, just what i have been told.

I have always been a picky eater but if I was hungry I had to eat what the family was served and try each thing once, even if that meant I tried everything and ended up with a plate full of one item because that was the only thing I liked. Example: Even now at Thanksgiving I eat stuffing and cranberry sauce, that is it.


Me [22] Dh [27]

Charlotte Elizabeth - Due may 3rd, 2013

Navy Wife

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