This singer (pronounced "tall waist") not only shares a hometown (Toronto) and producer (Illangelo) with the Weeknd's Abel Tesfaye, but the same subject matter, vibe, and eerily similar vocal melodies. But instead of an intriguing side project from an obviously talented producer (in addition to the Weeknd, Illangelo had a hand in Drake's "Crew Love"), the EP turns out to be a disappointing facsimile of his more famous projects. Alien Tentacle Sex basically feels like Illangelo twiddling his thumbs nervously while he waits for the Weeknd tour to finish.

The record starts strong with a lush production job in "I'd Die", musically as strong as anything on the Weeknd's Echoes of Silence. The slinking metallic beat is embellished with groaning synths, eerie chimes, and all manner of weird samples. But then the vocal comes in. There's something about TALWST's cadences that sound too close to a sandpaper-throated Tesfaye, and the heavy processing that replicates the headier moments of the Weeknd catalog doesn't help the case. The unwise similarity is further explored on "Mercy Me", a nonsense mope-glam number that sounds like it was based off a discarded Tesfaye guide vocal. These comparisons may be unfair, but there's just no escaping them here. 

TALWST doesn't have the most distinctive or powerful voice, but that shouldn't be enough to dismiss him wholesale-- plenty have done great with much less. Unfortunately, his lyrics are far, far worse: Gems like "passport inked like Lil Wayne's face" are outdone by the mid-album wading pool "Lonely Guy", an unbearably self-pitying track where his reedy warble actually manages to croon the phrase "Lonely guy/ He is I." TALWST's self-analyzation feels like empty narcissism, backed up by a completely unconvincing persona.

Alien Tentacle Sex isn't all Weeknd rip-offs. "Woman" chops up spoken-word and gasps of melody into an alien assemblage that sounds neat even if the lyrical content is embarrassing, while the brief "Peace Tonight" is easily the highlight. It's just too bad his gruff rap is interrupted by cries of "please no nuclear bombs." The only thing worse than the unnecessary politicization is his flagrant mispronunciation of "nuclear." The melodramatic closer "No Stones" seems to want to recreate the subtle magic of Usher's "Climax", from the honeyed tones to the gently elongated phrasing, but it lacks even a modicum of subtlety, its ham-shaped fist too salty for even the most naive of palettes.

R&B is largely personality-driven stuff, and outside of what he misguidedly tries to borrow from more established artists, TALWST has very little to sell. Having come so far so fast, Illangelo's name now carries some serious weight, but even that proven pedigree isn't enough to build a fortress out of toothpicks. Whatever the intent was with Alien Tentacle Sex (even the title hints at an intriguing dimension unexplored by the pedestrian music), it seems like they lost the plot at some point along the way.

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