Crime & Punishment: You Messed With the Wrong Clerk

People's United Bank accidentally diverted $74,000 from the account of a supermarket into that of a Bridgeport grandmother, leading to her arrest. Two years ago, Donna Hutchinson discovered $4,000 had mysteriously appeared in her account. Because she had prayed for a resolution to her debt and oncoming foreclosure, Hutchinson, 49, "thought the money was God-sent," she later told police. She initially used it just for bills, but as Jesus continued to shovel in the cash, she paid for vacations and salon visits, reports the Connecticut Post. Meanwhile, Ammar Raslen, owner of C-Town in Stratford, noticed some missing funds. He says he went to police when the bank stonewalled him. Of course, bankers are never arrested for anything, so police charged Hutchinson with felony larceny (though they agreed to wait until she was done babysitting her grandson to haul her in). Raslen says People's has since credited $74,000 to his account without making an apology.

You Messed with the Wrong Clerk: When a masked man entered Adbul Khan's corner store in Marlborough and said he had a gun in his pocket, Khan argued with him for a while but when the man threatened to shoot, he finally handed over all his $20 bills. Then the robber (who police later identified as Joshua Strong) moseyed around the store, causing Khan to lose his composure and tackled him, getting in "two really good" punches, he told WFSB. Also, a man in a ski mask entered a Bloomfield Shell station and said he had a gun, which did not show, but the clerk definitely had a machete and used it to chase him away, reports the Hartford Courant.

In its coverage of Women's Day at the Capitol, Fox CT rolled stock footage of women walking down the street with the camera focused on their breasts. As a clearly confused Erika Arias announced that state legislators and guests would discuss women's accomplishments, viewers were greeted with a parade of close-ups of clothed jiggling boobs (leading us to wonder if the network had rehired Geoff Fox). The event's organizers, the Permanent Commission on the Status of Women, said they were "appalled," prompting an apology from the Hartford TV station (which, FYI, is owned by the same company that owns the Advocate/Weekly).

PCP is a Helluva Drug: After accusing his girlfriend of being the devil and throwing a Bible at her, Santos Rodriquez of Bridgeport stripped naked, grabbed her baby and ran out of the house, police told the Connecticut Post. Soon after, several drivers called 911 about a nude man holding something and running across I-95. One stopped and Rodriquez reportedly placed the baby in the passenger seat before sitting down on the side of the highway. (The child was not harmed.) Police say Rodriquez, 30, has a history of PCP use.

A Norwalk woman returned home from a shopping trip and noticed her cat's rectal area appeared inflamed. She jumped to the conclusion that someone had sexually assaulted the feline and called police, reports The Hour. "The complainant rattled off a list of suspects, all of whom were human," the paper's crime reporter clarified. A veterinarian later determined the cat merely had a stomach bug that was causing diarrhea.

Employees of the Naugatuck Department of Public Works were apparently goofing around with fireworks, despite the DPW's proximity to Andrew Avenue Elementary School, reports the Naugatuck Patch website. The sound of a cluster of fireworks going off caused the school (which is just 20 miles from Sandy Hook Elementary School) to go into lockdown for an hour.

Speaking of schools and bad ideas, a student at Whitby School shocked the staff of his $32,000-a-year private middle school when he brought a live bat in a paper bag to class. His parents thought it would be an interesting specimen for the science room. Greenwich Time reports that skittish administrators sent for an exterminator to kill the bat and then had the corpse tested for rabies. (The bat tested negative.)

Norwalk police say they found a housekeeper slumped over the wheel of her employer's missing car, clutching a crack pipe and carrying a few rocks. Yellow spray paint was reportedly on both the car and Karolina Polak's hands. When asked about the paint, Polak, 31, could only offer the explanation that she was planning to paint the car and wanted to get a head start on it, police told the Norwalk Patch website.

Department of Corrections Officer Jason Beaudry found himself on the other side of the bars after he punched a police officer during Hartford's St. Patrick's Day Parade, knocking him unconscious, and then proceeded to take the man's wallet, police told The Hartford Courant. "We believe alcohol was a factor," added a police spokesperson.

A gunshot heard in New Haven "turned out to be an apparent accidentally self-inflicted penis wound," police told the New Haven Register. A 17-year-old man was evidently packing heat when the firearm went off in his pocket. In case you were interested, a police spokesman noted that "the vast majority of groin shots are accidental discharges."