To think its time to ban end of term presents?

(229 Posts)
Worriedmind Fri 19-Jul-13 09:25:15

There are kids crying in the playground this morning because mum can't afford.

News said 1 in 11 buy less food to buy a present.

1 in 4 felt pressured to do so.

Teacher ends up.with loads of stuff they don't really want.

Aibu to think there should be a blanket ban and that teachers would be horrified if a child had gone without food to buy a gift.

Instead children could be given time in last week to make caress gift.


Ezio Fri 19-Jul-13 09:28:12

I havent bought anything this year as DD will have the same teachers, last year i spent £6 on 2 presents for DD's teachers, mini potted rose plants, they looked pretty.

reelingintheyears Fri 19-Jul-13 09:28:19

I agree.
What was wrong with a shiny red apple?
I might give a box of sweets for the staff room but not to an individual teacher.

KatyTheCleaningLady Fri 19-Jul-13 09:29:15

I have always been oblivious to these things, but my MIL insists.

YANBU. It was banned at my secondary school when I was a child and I don't remember people sending gifts at primary school. I don't know why it has become such a big thing now. A nicely worded thank you card is enough IMO.

yoyoyo Fri 19-Jul-13 09:32:46

DD has made a card, I'm not sending any gift how many worlds best teacher mugs does one person need

ShoeWhore Fri 19-Jul-13 09:39:28

I think in some schools it has got totally out of hand. Thankfully ours isn't one of them - some families send a small token of thanks, some don't and no one really knows which are which.

I like to say thank you to the teachers - they work really hard and one in particular has done a truly amazing job with ds this year.

Perhaps it would be better to ban over the top class collections or impose a limit on their value?

Jinty64 Fri 19-Jul-13 09:40:22

I don't like collections or whole class gifts but surely it is up to individual parents if they wish to give a card or gift to a teacher who has been responsible for their child 6 hours a day, 5 days a week for the best part of a year. Most people could afford a sheet of paper and get use of some crayons so that their child could make a card or a picture for the teacher.

SuffolkNWhat Fri 19-Jul-13 09:41:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Fri 19-Jul-13 09:42:22

I think it would be impossible to ban it.

The issue comes when people make a song and dance about it rather than the actual wish to thank the teacher with a small gift.

Worriedmind Fri 19-Jul-13 09:42:43

Ours send in at Christmas/Summer/Easter and now teachers birthday. Its just too much..

Flobbadobs Fri 19-Jul-13 09:44:10

YANBU. DD gave her teacher a card this morning with a lovely message and drew a picture in it. Her teacher is leaving today so for the first time we've had a collection, all of the children wrote in the card regardless of whether the parents put in any money. Usually everyone just does their own thing but she is a well loved and long serving teacher so we've made an exception.
It can get ridiculous though.

namechangeforaclue Fri 19-Jul-13 09:46:14

Doesn't take much to make a card.
Sorry but only an idiot would buy something they couldn't afford and have less food because of it.
Also what is wrong with showing appreciation and teaching our children the value of it. I assume you would bye a friend a leaving pressie if they were moving away or something. Children can get very close to teachers and tend nowaways to only have one teacher for a year at a time. I look at it as a leaving gift, my little boy has helped me make cup cakes. We had a fun time making them and he will love giving them.
These are the people that look after your children when you don't.
Their job is hard and pretty thankless. Would you have it made worse?
If you don't want to do it that is fine but own your choice and don't try to make a crusade so that people that do enjoy it will no longer have the option.

MolotovCocktail Fri 19-Jul-13 09:50:56

There was a collection for my dd's teachers (1 teacher and 2 class assistants). The required amount to give was £8. I mean, I really like the teachers and am very grateful to them as my dd has come on leaps and bounds since September but ... I felt pressure to contribute and would have preferred to give a personal gift. I could have said 'no': admittedly, I went along with the majority for an easy ride and to save face (mine, I think, not dd's).

And this money is in addition to monthly wrap-around care fees; dinner money; school fund contributions; a recent school trip costing £18. I need to buy dd new uniform items over the next month, etc, etc.

So, whilst I don't want to be 'bah, humbug' about this, costs do add up and the collective gift feels impersonal.

jinglykeys Fri 19-Jul-13 09:51:10

We recently had a baby so am trying to be very careful with money so 4 4 yo DD spent yesterday evening after school making cards for her teachers and me dictating letters for her to write the phrases in the cards. the teachers were very happy with the cards this morning as they were the ones who taught dd to write so were proud of her too.

ubik Fri 19-Jul-13 09:51:15

Each child in our class did a drawing and then one of the parents bound it into a book. It was lovely. DD also brought her teacher a sunflower.

Worriedmind Fri 19-Jul-13 09:51:39

Of course people can afford paper and a pen to make a picture.

What I am saying is I've just seen a nine year old in school in tears embarrassed because the kids asked where his gift was and he had only made a card as mum was made redundant and three Kids in school.

The kids weren't nasty about it, they just asked.

Maybe it can be worked round where they can be left at office at hometime on last day or something.

EricNorthmansFangbanger Fri 19-Jul-13 09:53:46

DD1 (5) has taken in a handmade card, a picture and a little heart tin with 10 lindt chocolates in for both her teacher and TA. I did think chocolates in this weather would be a no no but DD1 insisted. They've both been amazing this year and DD1 wanted to make them a little something especially. I also popped a thank you letter in from both of us.

I don't know what the deal is with parents at the school and presents. I've not seen anything showy but it may happen. I think a little token of appreciation can be nice, especially something personal from the child. Reading some of the stories on here though, it is plain to see some go over the top. Children really shouldn't be made to feel upset because they haven't got their teacher a big present sad

Worriedmind Fri 19-Jul-13 09:54:27

Ubik I think that's a lovely idea.

OhDearNigel Fri 19-Jul-13 09:56:16

Dd's room is getting a box of cupcakes (im a cake decorator) and a thankyou card made by dd

Dancergirl Fri 19-Jul-13 09:58:13


10 out of 11 don't go without food to buy a present.

3 out of 4 don't feel pressurised into buying a present.

FGS, you can't ban buying a present! If you can't afford a present then make a home-made card.

Do you really think teachers even notice or care who doesn't buy a present?

EndoplasmicReticulum Fri 19-Jul-13 09:58:22


Cards are the best bit, I've saved them all since I started teaching.

lynniep Fri 19-Jul-13 09:58:26

Its not a problem that I'm aware of (where we are) I chose to give the teachers a gift this year (homemade shortbread for all of TAs and teachers in his year and also for the ladies who run Out of School club, and then for his teacher of two years I made baby shoes as she's leaving on maternity). My DS's made them a card (DS2 is still pre-school but doesnt like being left out)

I have never felt any pressure to get them a present. It was my choice entirely. I didnt bother (forgot about it) last year. I certainly won't be heading down the high street to buy anything.

Worriedmind Fri 19-Jul-13 09:58:34

Namechange I am aware how thankless the job is, I used to do it!

I am not saying don't appreciate the teacher. What i am saying is according to the news 3 of each class will have gone without food rather than embarrass their kid by not sending in a gift.

No teacher wants that.

There have been MANY threads on here where people have felt very pressured into giving large amounts for collections.

Worriedmind Fri 19-Jul-13 10:00:24

No they don't notice or care dancergirl but the kids do.

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