Just when you thought no one could possibly be having a worse winter than Tom Cruise, what with movie flops, creeptastic videos and that whole Nazi thing further ruining his already ruined image, here comes Harvey Levin to shed some light on how his "other" kids have it even rougher! Gone are the days when we were bombarded with one-big-happy pics of Tom and Katie at son Connor's soccer games, or shots of awkward-but-jolly daughter Isabella trailing behind Katie at the couple's nups in Italy. So where in the world have they been? Camping out with Alexa Ray Joel and Al Gore, Jr. in some sort of refuge for MIA celebrity kids? In this clip from TMZ, we get some answers.

After respectfully pointing out the 11 and 13 year-olds' current state of "awkward adolescence," TMZ clues us in on the adopted duo's deliberate escape from the cameras: into the bony arms of mom Nicole Kidman in Australia! Which is actually sad, since Nicole's preggers with yet another "real" kid. So not only are the orphans kinda homeless, shamed out of their otherwise normal Hollywood lives by their dad, taken in out of pity by their mom, but they have to go through all this with (gasp!) frizzy hair. It might just be that time for Connor and Izzy to grow a collective pair and find their real parents. At this rate, even Howard Stern (either one, really) would be a better role model.