What the heck?

It's me or the cat!

Posted 06/25/2014
Haha not really but im seriously relating to that animal planet show ( it's me or the dog show) hubby insisted on wanting a cat and even tho I was completely against it I finally gave in. Worst decision ever!!! It's been four months since we've gotten this kitten and basically since day one he's been driving me nuts. I didn't know they started spraying this soon but he's recently been marking all places of our house including lo stroller and toys! We just barely bought new couches and he's started to claw at them. Even tho we bought him a scratching post. I've wanted to get him declawed but I've heard it's really cruel to do that to a cat. So we stick to nail clipping. I wake up every night to loud purring and open my eyes to him on my pillow cuddled up right to my face. so I throw him off the bed to repeat that 3+ times thru out the night. I've closed my bedroom door to lock him out and he scratches and meows non stop till I give in. I'm so annoyed by this cat ive wanted to find him a new home but dh really likes him. Its just not fair because dh recently started a new job that is out of town so he is living there in a apartment and only comes home on weekends. So I'm left caring for this pet that I have no interest in. Btw the cat is scheduled for neutering Monday morning. And dh apartment is not pet friendly. Idk what to do with the devil cat!! Just trying to stay patient and learn to live with it to make dh happy. :/ what's yalls opinion on all this!

Comments (40)

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Posted 06/26/2014
Maybe he doesn't like the scratcher you got him. I know one of my cats hates the cardboard ones, but loves the carpet ones.

My female kitty loves both types.

Neutering will help. Also, try to feed him at least an hour before you go to bed and get a toy to play with him to wear him out.

Kittens are high energy and you need to burn his energy off before you go to bed. It will also help you bond.

Better yet, get a wand type toy with a string/toy attached and let LO play with the kitty, supervised of course.

My dd loves to play with our cats. Hope some of that helps. I know you don't like the kitty, but try playing with him for at least 30 min to wear him out. Don't feed him right before bed, that will just give him even more energy.

Cats are nocturnal, so it's natural for him to want to play at night. The best you can do is play with him. And please don't declaw him! That is so bad for them and it can be extremely painful and cause health issues later in life. There are claw caps you can buy to cover their claws.

Sorry for the long post.

A+B = DD K (9-26-12)

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Posted 06/26/2014
Fyi long post here...We just adopted 2 cats a couple months ago. It was everyone's decision but all the work and stress is on me :/
One of them is completely crazy. Like a toddler going thru terrible 2s but she can reach EVERYTHING! She's a lot of work but she's still young.
the kitten stage doesn't last too long. After that they tend to be more lazy and sleep a lot :)
Spraying: The spraying should get better when he's neutered. Better to do that asap. The longer you wait, the more likely they are to continue spraying. If it continues, try those feliway diffusers. They're pricey but they help cats feel calm, less feisty, and everything smells like their pheromones so no need to spray :). Also, does he target LOs stuff a lot? He may be jealous. ..make sure he gets one on one play maybe during LOs naps.
Scratching: Try different scratch posts and put them right by the furniture that he scratches most. When he scratches the furniture tell him NO (dont yell) and put him on his scratcher. When he uses the scratcher praise him and maybe give a little treat. Never declaw! It's like losing the tips of your fingers :( plus it makes it painful for them to use litter boxes which will make potty problems worse.
Night games: at our house 11pm-1am = tear thru the house as fast as you can for no reason while you knock everything over. :/ expend that energy during the day. give him a few good play sessions daily. Not just toys he plays with but playing WITH him...they need both. Our crazy cat is so playful, she has more toys on the ground than LO sometimes :) try different toys. Our cats favorites are: crinkle tunnels, feather wand, LO's fuzzy socks (cat plays with those constantly, LO won't wear them. Win win.), half empty roll of paper towels (messy but keeps her entertained), and cardboard boxes. I throw little things on the kitchen floor before bed (pieces of pet food, hair ties, straws) and my cat has a blast for a while knocking these new toys around while I get to sleep :)
Is your cat indoor only? If possible you may want to look into letting him out in a safe area. Cats love it outdoors. I just built our cats a Catio. It's a small patio enclosed with chicken wire that the cats access thru a catdoor. And it's by a bird feeder. Our crazy cat will spend hours watching the birds :D
good luck!
Posted 06/26/2014

I think it is really nice that you are doing all this for your husband; you clearly do not like the cat and you are still helping him with it. I think that when it is a grown cat you will probably like it more. I would recommend researching cat behavior and learning about cats over all. There is not much to learn but it can help a tremendous amount for caring for it now and making sure he will be easier to care for in the future.  

When the cat is neutered I think it will help with most of your problems. It helps prevent spraying, same with making sure it is not stressed.  Declawing is a really bad thing to do with cats; I am glad to hear you guys compromised with clipping. Declawing is the equivalent of having the first knuckle of all your fingers cut off. Have you tried putting the scratching post by the couch? Also getting something like a scratching board or a mini scratching post and putting it in the area of the couch the cat likes to scratch can help deter it from scratching the couch. There are miniture versions or scratching material I would recomend getting some diffrent little ones so it will be inexpensive and so you can find what the cat likes. Also it is a kitten, kittens require lots and lots of play time they are crazy, when the kitten becomes a year to a year in a half it should start calming down especially since you are getting it neutered. Does your cat like it is scratching post so far? It is little so it might be hard to tell, but maybe getting one in your room and putting the cat there might help it learn to sleep on the post rather than with you. Many cats really like to sleep with people and it sounds like this cat really likes you if it is choosing to sleep with you. Maybe you can try pushing the cat away from your head (if you do not mind it in your bed with you) and have it sleep by your feet or something like that. With cats it takes a lot of repetition until they finally get that they should not do something. When cats are adults they do not need too much care. It is good to spend time with them because they are living things that you (your husband) chose to take in. But overall cats are good minimum care animals. I wish you luck with the new kitten. Remember researching a little bit can help a lot.

Posted 06/26/2014

After he's fixed it should get a lot better. Unfixed cats are horrible pets. Female ones won't shut up, male ones are aggressive.

The scratching post may need to be something else. I had a cat once who would only claw up those cardboard scratchers and wouldn't go near regular post ones.

Posted 06/26/2014
They mellow out after a year. I feel it's cruel to declaw your cat, but if that's what you got to do to save your sanity go do it. Just declaw the front paws. Also, have you tried kitty caps? They worked awesome for two of my cats. The third chewed them off.

And cats will pee on baby stuff because most baby stuff is treated with a chemical that is in their litter. The best you can do keep that stuff out of reach.

My OCD aunt got a kitten last year and she couldn't handle the destruction it caused while she was at work. So she took an old bird cage (like, macaw sized) and turned it on its side and made a kennel for her kitten while she was at work. Maybe you could do this at night. Now that the cat is older she doesn't use it, but it saved her sanity.
Posted 06/26/2014

Boy you are a nice wife.  Your husband doesnt even live there 5 out of 7 days, yet you have to put up with this cat??  I hate cats, and pretty much since i have two kids, dont even tolerate my dogs, but my advice is get the cat declawed, and the neutering should stop spraying.  if not, goodbye cat, sorry hubby!

Posted 06/26/2014
Boy you are a nice wife.  Your husband doesnt even live there 5 out of 7...
Do not declaw! It is so bad for them.

To declaw, they have to cut off the first knuckle of every toe because the claw is attached. It's cruel. How would you like it if someone cut off the first knuckles of each of your fingers and toes?

Not only that, but it does hurt them! Cats and dogs do feel pain too! It also causes cats to urinate/poop outside of their litter boxes because it literally hurts them to dig in the litter.

And their claws are really they're main defense. You're basically making them completely defenseless when you declaw them. It's a horrible horrible thing to do.

OP, if you can, please find the caps for their claws, it's way better than declawing them.


We've made it to Diamond and still going!

Check out my crafts on my Facebook page!

Posted 06/26/2014
Do not declaw! It is so bad for them. To declaw, they have to cut off the...

First off, i assume they get anthesia when they declaw them, so its not like they feel the pain!  Of course it sounds bad, just like describing a c-section, or circumcision, or a million other things that arent always necessary, but done for personal preferences, easier life, etc.  as for the litter issue, i had two declawed cats that never had any issues with going to the bathroom in the litter.  And fyi-i kept the back claws.  also, i am assuming this is an inside cat, so i doubt there would be any situations in which they would need to use there claws. 

PrincessNancy21 · Original Poster
Posted 06/26/2014
Thank y'all for all the advice. I know I'm literally at my whits end with this cat. But dh understands my frustration and told me if he doesn't get better after the neutering he won't mind if I get rid of him! Every time I catch him spraying and clawing I've had to stop myself from throwing him out the door. (I wouldn't do it btw) but yes the thoughts crossed my mind a time or two. Btw I've never heard of cat caps what are those and where can I purchase those?
Posted 06/26/2014
First off, i assume they get anthesia when they declaw them, so its not like...

I'm going to start out that I'm in a cranky mood.  So there's fair warning.

Sure, amputate their claws for your personal preference.  Inside cats do get out occasionally.  And as for the litter issue, just because your special snowflakes don't have issues doesn't mean it doesn't have a good likelihood of occurring.  Should we just rip out your fingernails?  Or cut off your fingers at the first knuckle?  And the pain of missing body parts isn't just limited to the amputation surgery where they are anesthitized.  Heard about phantom limb syndrome?  People have pain for years.

I will never understand altering for cosmetic reasons/personal preference.  Whether it is declawing cats, docking ears and tails on dogs, or even circumcision (yeah, I went there.)  I'm not terrible religious, but what God has put in place, let no man put asunder.


Crafty mama to my precious sapphire GEM.

Ohana: "This is my family; it's small... but still good, yeah, still good."

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