

If Santa visited the doctor


An elderly man presents to the doctor for a check up before a long journey. He says he has generally been feeling well and jolly. However, when the doctor asks about specific symptoms, she finds that he has been excessively thirsty lately and has been peeing large quantities. The doctor recognizes these as common symptoms of diabetes, and asks the patient about his diet. The patient admits that he eats a diet that consists mainly of milk and cookies. The only exercise he gets is carrying a large sack on his back one day per year. The physical exam reveals that the patient is morbidly obese (his abdomen shakes like a bowl full of jelly) and also has rosy cheeks and a long white beard. The doctor decides to check the patient’s blood sugar, which is sky high at 300 mg/dL, diagnosing him with diabetes.

The doctor strongly advises her patient to lose weight. In order to do this, he has to stop eating milk and cookies, and start eating healthier foods such as carrots (which the patient feeds his pet reindeer). She also recommends getting more exercise, at least 2.5 hours per week. She writes a prescription for a medication called metformin, and also gives the patient a referral to an eye doctor and a foot doctor to prevent common complications of diabetes.

Don’t be like Santa – make sure you eat more than just milk and cookies this holiday season!

Happy Holidays!

Categories: General
Marianne DiNapoli

8 Responses

  1. Pat says:

    Happy Holidays!

  2. Matt says:

    Reminds me of this article about what would happen if Bruce Wayne (Batman) went to see his doctor.

  3. ColorMaven says:

    Here is wishing everyone on the blog a great holiday and a Happy Healthy New Year!

  4. L says:

    can I just take this opportunity to point out that there is more than one kind of diabetes, and that not every diabetic is overweight and relatively inactive? oh and that you don’t get diabetes because you “ate too much sugar!”
    Marianne, I know you meant this as a cute Christmas post, but the truth is that some people take what is said by doctors, and on here, as absolute truth.

  5. Matt – hilarious article!

    L – true, there are two types of diabetes. Type one, typically with its onset in childhood, versus type two, typically in adults. In type one, patient have an autoimmune attack on the beta islet cells of the pancreas, which secrete insulin. In type two, the body’s peripheral tissues become resistant to insulin that is put out by the pancreas. Santa probably would have type 2 diabetes, which is what I focused on in this article.

    Since you make a great point – that people on this blog are expecting the truth – I will outline some important facts you touched on about type 2 diabetes. Eating a lot of sugar (carbohydrates) and/or calories is indeed a major initial pathophysiologic insult that causes type 2 diabetes. High calorie intake leads to increased levels of fatty acids in the blood, which in turn causes resistance to the insulin that is put out by the pancreas. That is, the body’s tissues do not respond to the insulin to allow sugar to be utilized by cells. The pancreas must secrete increasing amounts of insulin to try to help the cells take in as much sugar as possible. The pancreas secretes more and more insulin until eventually it cannot secrete enough to maintain the blood sugar within a normal range (ie, diabetes).

    Approximately 90% of people with type two diabetes are obese (that is, BMI > 30).

  6. Liz says:

    Obesity is a CORRELATOR to Type 2 Diabetes. It is not a CAUSE. The causes for Type 2 Diabetes are UNKNOWN.

    33.3% of Americans are obese. 8.8% have Diabetes (and this includes ALL types, AND the undiagnosed.)

    Many Type 2 Diabetics become so because of medications, other illnesses, and strong family inheritance, DESPITE BEING FIT.

    This is more than a little uninformed… It is assuming all obese persons would get Type 2 Diabetes, just for the sake of being obese, like Santa… and it is insulting. It also feeds into the stereotype that TABLE SUGAR causes Diabetes, and it is not so. I don’t care how much you abuse table sugar… If you do NOT have the genetic predisposition for Type 2 Diabetes, you will NEVER get it.

    And in any case… I am SICK AND TIRED of ‘jolly old fat people jokes’ at MY DISEASE’s expense. No matter how “well meaning.”

  7. Laura says:

    What you haven’t touched on is those of us who LOOK Like type 2, but have LADA. I’m all sorts of autoimmune, but I had it onset as an adult. My C-peptide shows that my pancreas is DEAD. Yes, I’m chunky, but I’m not a type 2. Most doctors who don’t know my history assume I’m t2. Nope. LADA.

  8. Kate says:

    It’s a shame that people find the need to discover something offense in a creative post. Thought this was cute, Marianne!