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Children visiting a parent in prison

Posted 10/03/2012

After watching a promo for the Teen Mom "Amber Behind Bars" special, she mentions that Leah (her 3 year-old) has not been to visit her, which makes her feel "like she doesn't matter anymore".  So this got me thinking of whether or not I would take my kids to see their dad if he were incarcerated.

Would you?  Is it beneficial or detrimental to the child?


I disco things with everyone I meet. You can tell by the way I use my walk. -BrightonSadie

Comments (9)

Posted 10/03/2012

I definitely would. My dad was in jail off and on throughout my childhood. It would have been hard, but it was a lot harder not seeing my dad and thinking he just didn't give a damn.

Amber could be in Prison for up to five years. That would make Leah 8 when she got out!! Likely, she will get out before then, but it's still a possibility. Every child has the right to see their parent, unless that parent means harm to the child.



- Lao-tzu

Posted 10/03/2012
this is a really good debate topic

I'm not sure! It reminds me of Mob Wives, they were joking that they all were told their dads were "at college" when they were all in jail.

If my kids were young then I definitely wouldn't because it is too confusing. If they were older and mature enough I would let them make the decision. I' m not sure what age that would be but it depends on the child.
Posted 10/03/2012

My mom took us to see my bio dad when we were kids. I have a lot of memories that take place in a prison visting room as a kid.

Visiting would really depend on the whole situation I think. I don't have a black and white answer.


Bazinga! ~ Sheldon Cooper 

Posted 10/03/2012

I definitely would.  He is there dad.

Obviously, an exception would be if he had done something to them.

What did the woman in the OP do?

mommalonghorn · Original Poster
Posted 10/03/2012

She refused to go to out-patient rehab and just asked that they send her to prison instead.



Posted 10/03/2012
My decision would be made on what exactly he's in jail for.
Posted 10/03/2012

wow i have not watched teen mom in a long time lol like since the first season....

If i was in jail i would want my kids to see me, although then i would have to admit to my kids whatever i did wrong and that would totally suck....if my husband was in jail same thing




Posted 10/03/2012
Her poor daughter.

My kids are 4 and 2 amd I can't imagine trying to explain to them why daddy is behind the glass (if he is) or why daddy can't come home or why daddy is there in the first place! Awful.
Posted 10/03/2012

This is sort of personal and my viewpoint is coming from that direction. My brother is in prison and he has two kids - my niece and nephew. They visit him as often as they can. It would, at this point, be absolutely devastating for them if they could not see their dad. It's hard enough on them as it is seeing him in the limited capacity that they do, but it's worse when there's times that they cannot see him.  I haven't done extensive reading on it, but I think there is research out there that really supports children having that contact - under the right circumstances.

My niece/nephew are blessed b/c the facility my brother is in has a special program to assist fathers with maintaining relationships with their children that my brother qualified to be in. It's not for everyone, you have to meet certain requirements to be in it and he also has to stay on his best behavior to remain in it. Through that program they can plan special visits with one-on-one time and he can occasionally be given permission to do special things for his kids, such as he learned how to quilt and was given permission to make one for my niece. In our situation, I absolutely believe this is helping my niece and nephew, who are happy and have some peace knowing they can talk to him and see him, rather than feeling completely abandoned.

Obviously, if things change, then it has to be re-evaluated. But for now it is for them and is all about them. 


If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it.
~ Toni Morrison


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