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    Bitch-Back? Is George Clooney Really Linked to One Bad Italiano?

    George Clooney GSI Media

    Dear Ted:
    This fan from the other side of the pond really likes your blog. Have you heard anything about George Clooney recently? Next week he's going to testify in a trial for child prostitution. I'm a bit upset. I really like him, but if he is into these things...I don't know what to think.

    Dear Quick to Convict:
    Are you insane? He's randomly being called as a witness in the case of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, who is being tried for paying an underage girl to have sex with him. George expressed his puzzlement about the whole situation since he has only met the prime minister once—at a political party, in an attempt to raise money for Darfur. Please, just because his eternal girlfriend Elisabetta Cannalis is one of Italy's most prized possessions doesn't mean he is mingling with a sketch politician.

    Dear Ted:
    I know this will never happen because she doesn't have the acting chops, but what do you think of Vanessa Hudgens playing Elizabeth Taylor in a movie? She kind of looks like her, no?

    TWITTER: Follow @theawfultruth

    Dear Casting Call:
    Hell to the no friggin' way. Come on. Vanessa is a pretty girl, but hardly a contender for this role. Just because she has that brunette, vixen sort of look doesn't mean she is the spitting image of Taylor. There is a huge difference between pretty and beautiful. Let's be modest and honest!

    Dear Ted:
    I have recently read The Hunger Games books and love them! What I don't understand is why Garrett Hedlund's name hasn't been thrown into the mix of who should play Peeta? He is perfect for the role and should be at the top of the list!

    Dear Head Over Hedlund:
    Words cannot express how much we love you for this suggestion. Garrett is one of the cutest young actors out there right now. Issue is, I feel like Garrett's not delicate-looking enough. I wish casting wasn't all about "the look" because he'd probably be the perfect choice. Plus, who knows how booked he is after Country Strong.

    Dear Ted:
    I love Lea Michele. That girl is so talented, and I know that she was working on New Year's Eve and Dorothy of Oz. Do you have any news about her in another movie role? How about Wicked? Best wishes from Brazil!

    Dear Gleeing From Brazil:
    Don't we all? As for now, Lea is not publicly tied to anything besides those two flicks. I have a feeling she is going to make the best Dorothy, like, ever. Just because she's got that pouty face down from Rachel Berry's whining on Glee. New Year's Eve, let's just hope she doesn't pull a Taylor Swift in Valentine's Day.

    Dear Ted:
    I've become sooo infatuated with Matt Bomer recently. They're finally taking advantage of his smokin' body on White Collar! Please tell me he's one of the good guys (with just a little edge of bad) in real life too! My too-old-to-really-be-called-a-puppy Libby sends kisses!

    Dear Deliciously Good:
    We never noticed this gem of a man before. He's hot. Not only is that body fierce, but those piercing eyes are to die for. He's not getting Vicey yet, but let's hope Matt comes out to play because he is too beautiful to be sitting around like a goody-two-shoes. Kisses to that pup of yours!

    Dear Ted:
    Don't get me wrong, I love me some Robert Pattinson. But I was really disappointed to see him on the Vanity Fair cover with an alligator draped around his neck. Thought I'd hear at least a peep on this from you, being an animal lover yourself and your impression that Rob is as well. Sure, the gator isn't a cute, snuggly cat but neither is it lamp—it's a living, breathing thing that was taken out of its normal environment and put into stressful conditions for a photo shoot. Shame!

    Dear Alligator Peeved:
    Um, hello, we only wrote a whole piece on the cover and how we sure as hell were not feeling that alligator drappage. That poor creature! I totally agree. Just because it is not a precious, cuddly kitty cat doesn't mean it should be treated in a wild manner. I'm sure Rob wasn't too happy about it either though. He's got to be an animal lover. I mean, he did adopt a cute pup just recently.

    Dear Ted:
    I think that Kate Bosworth needs to dump Alexander Skarsgård and hook up with Jake Gyllenhaal! They would be an awesome couple! What do you think?

    Dear Semi-Winning:
    We've been telling you all that Skarsworth are headed to Splitsville. We just get this weird vibe from their awkward body language. But as much as we adore Jake, Skars is one hot piece of ass, literally, and not even Gyllenhaal can compete. Then again, Jake's got those puppy dog eyes we melt for. Let's call it a tie, on our part. Good thing Kate doesn't actually have to pick between the two. That would be brutal.

    Dear Ted:
    I don't agree with your claim that Scarlett Johansson is "winning" anything against Ryan Reynolds because Sean Penn hardly seems like a great catch. He is a huge step down from super hot Ryan. Plus, I'm happy Ryan Reynolds is putting his energy toward his career because that means that the rest of us can enjoy him in his movies! Putting all that aside, what is the deal with her?

    Dear Losing:
    Glad you got that all off your chest, hon! 

    Dear Ted:
    Are Strippa Rip-Ya and Caesar Anchovy-Arse Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton? My Texas roots feels like I got this and my tired dog perked up when I mentioned it. Close?

    Dear Howdy, Hell No:
    No. Trust me, your Texas roots won't help you with this one doll! They are not a fiery, Southern pair. Sorry, not even some really smart pups could figure these two out!

    Dear Ted:
    The person to play Elizabeth Taylor? Catherine Zeta-Jones. No question. Agree?

    Dear Calling on Mama Catherine:
    Yup. That is one name I have definitely thrown out there with Natalie Portman. I just wonder if CZJ can pull of the acting bit of it all. She's absolutely stunning and a looker just like Taylor was, so no competition there, but she needs to step up with those acting chops.

    Dear Ted:
    I've been thinking about Strippa Rip-Ya and her sad tale. Would she be hesitant to leave her abusive hubby because she's afraid of what people would say, by any chance? Have her previous relationship choices and failures been widely discussed in the press?

    Dear Sad:
    We feel you. Wish Strippa could grow a pair and just leave the douche, but I feel like it is likely situation where she still loves him rather than one where she's afraid to leave for bad press. And yes, her breakups have always made the front page.


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