

Loopy Housemate Awards

(51 Posts)
Objection Tue 25-Feb-14 21:11:10

Inspired by a thread on AIBU.

When I was about 19 OH and I lived in a house share with another couple.
They were lesbians, let's call them B & C, and I'm not sure why we didn't twig their craziness earlier.

We eventually cottoned on (main because of the dead rabbit) and handed them our notice. We then had to show prospective tenants around whilst B & C were out. We took him round and lastly to their bedroom (with their permission) when OH suddenly steers us out of the room. Why? Because of the handprint on the wall and "I love you" written under it.

In blood.

We can laugh about it now grin
Anyone got any crazy housemate stories?

KrevlornswathoftheDeathwokClan Tue 25-Feb-14 21:14:40

I lived with a girl who was quite OCD in a few ways. One Easter I decided to hide easter eggs all over the flat. She found the first one in her margarine tub while making toast. She glared at me and told me she was not playing and would not look for them. Halfway through buttering her toast she shouted "OH FOR FUCKS SAKE" and went on the hunt. She was looking for about 4 hours grin

I laughed for a long time.

I used to flat share with a guy that I also worked with. He was really cagey about his room and so I never saw in there. He was always inviting his girlfriend over and noisily having sex at very opportunity.

We got mice and I had to let the pest control man in, flat mate again got dead cagey about his room and when I saw inside it was wall to wall filth. I urged him to clear up because of the mice.

Later he borrowed another colleagues sunbed and after much nagging he agreed to let her round to collect it but wasn't there when she came. Me and my colleague had to move his bed to get the sunbed out and under his bed was masses and masses of used tampons!!

Objection Tue 25-Feb-14 21:23:43

No!!!!!!! Doctorswife! That's grim....

kotinka Tue 25-Feb-14 21:24:35

I rented a room with a nice old lady once. she used to travel a lot. it was great till her creepy son started coming round and getting pissed in the house on his own every time she went away.

The smell was horrendous. What really pissed me off was that I owned everything in the flat and it was sold/eviction notice etc. when I moved out the week before he did I took all my stuff and he bad mouthed me to anyone who would listen. I pointed out that for 18m he had been using everything of mine, towels, cutlery, toiletries and perhaps he should have contributed more than a room full of tampons.


AlpacaPicnic Tue 25-Feb-14 22:58:02

I came here to moan that our occasional lodger uses my 'girly' soap when he's in the shower and doesn't put it back on the side of the sink where it lives for the purposes of hand washing... but Doctorswife has already won the thread i feel <vom>

Anonymai Tue 25-Feb-14 23:09:57

Mocking someone with tendencies towards a mental illness. So funneeeeeee. hmm

TalkieToaster Tue 25-Feb-14 23:10:56

I can't even compete with a room full of used tampons, but this is my offering:

Housemate kept pet snakes. He'd keep their food in the freezer and the food happened to be baby mice. I was merrily shaking peas from a bag into a pan one day when PLUNG... dead, frozen baby mouse falls into the pan alongside the peas.

The fucker just chucked the mice into the freezer loose, so they ended up in all the food.

AGnu Tue 25-Feb-14 23:49:40

In my student days I lived with someone who seemed to be upset when living in the same house didn't make us besties who lived in each others pockets & started doing interesting things like turning the hot water temp right up - noticed when another housemate went to take a shower & noticed it seemed a little more steamy than usual before they got in! She'd also comment on how little food I had in my cupboard - no reason why she should've been looking in there in the first place - & suggest we go shopping together. And then there was the case of the mysteriously disappearing biscuits... which were in an unopened packet on the floor of my locked room... I'm 99.9% certain I didn't open them because I had an open packet next to my computer. They were still on top of the carrier bag I'd brought them home in but somehow open & several missing. Either I'd been sleep-eating for the first time ever, we had the world's neatest mice or someone had been breaking into my room... Not hard to do with a credit card! She suddenly decided to move out with no explanation other than that we weren't being social enough, no more disappearing food or scaldingly hot showers! hmm

MikeLitoris Tue 25-Feb-14 23:58:02

Nothing can beat a room full of Tampons. Yuckiest thing I have read on here in a while.

PotsofGold Wed 26-Feb-14 00:19:26

I once lived with a massively selfish prat, who decided that the piece of corridor outside his room belonged to him as well. He kept his wash basket, bin and a pile of shoes in that part of the corridor and refused to move them elsewhere despite the fact that they were in the way when going to the kitchen. We also weren't allowed to put the lights on in the corridor as one of the lights was in 'his' area of the corridor and he decided whether it needed to be light or not. Bollocks to the rest of us having to walk down a dark corridor, stubbing our toes on his fucking bin.

He used to spend at least three hours in the bathroom each day. Afterwards it would look like bigfoot had moulted all over it. If anyone was using the bathroom (even for 2 mins to use the loo) and he came along to use the bathroom, he would rap on the door and demand to know what you were doing in there and how long you would be.

He had a mate over a lot to play xbox, and his mate would always pee on the loo seat and floor next to the loo.

He worked shifts which required him to get up at 4am in the morning. We were considerate and kept noise down in the evenings. However, this wasn't enough for him and we would get yelled at for such crimes as walking past his room and coughing at 7:30pm. He had no qualms about slamming doors loudly at 4am though. angry

That's only the half of it. The rest of us had a party the night he finally moved out.

kotinka Wed 26-Feb-14 00:23:52

aaaargh, he sounds a total cunt. wonder if he's still the same?

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot Wed 26-Feb-14 00:25:21

I thought my old flatmate who left used tampons by the sink was bad, but I am well and truly beaten by a whole room of them.
Me and that flatmate also used to cut up porn magazines belonging to our male flatmates and make decorations out of them.

PotsofGold Wed 26-Feb-14 00:28:51

kotinka - I would imagine he probably is. He wasn't a person who could ever see things from other people's point of view, or accept that he was wrong.

MoominIsWaitingToMeetHerMiniMe Wed 26-Feb-14 00:30:59

I won't go into the details of the worst flatmate, because the thread in AIBU is mine and many of the details about her are on there already (although I could write a book with the little annoyances she does too!)

Another of the housemates in this house brought his girlfriend over from France a month ago, warned us all that she'd be staying for a few days, and that she was very shy.

She's been here a month and may be shy face-to-face but isn't shy about using our shampoo or having loud moany French sex so loud we can hear it from our room on the other end of the landing shock It's a real struggle to look her in the eye once you've heard her screaming to Dieu.

kotinka Wed 26-Feb-14 00:32:27

French sex grin

You people need this.

[[ It's so damn hilarious I almost puked]]

PatrickStarisabadbellend Wed 26-Feb-14 00:34:34

My mate leaves usable sanitary towels along her bath then collects them at the end of the day to wash them <Bork>

kotinka Wed 26-Feb-14 00:35:07

pots- bet he's single. ever tempted to just gang up and chuck him out?

I think I've told this before on here but it's pretty funny/fucked up so worth telling again.

In second year at uni I lived in a big house share of 10 people, including a couple. They had a really tempestuous and quite mad relationship ... He was always flirting with/ getting off with other women and she had previously been in a relationship with a girl. Anyway I ended up having a threeway with them- all legit, I was single and they suggested it and a good time was had by all. But after it happened I ended up with both of them- separately- sneaking about after dark, knocking on my door and asking for a private replay of the good times we had shared grin

As I was a horny woman in her early 20s with few morals I did sleep with both of them- individually- a few times and they were both always going on about how it had to be "our secret" from the other one. Amidst all this they would constantly row and accuse the other of shagging about. Little did they know.... (Or maybe they did and I was a pawn in their weird sex games?!)

She's a full time lesbian now and he sometimes still sends me fruity texts asking what colour knickers I have on (or he did until ios7 got the "block number" feature gringringringrin)

PotsofGold Wed 26-Feb-14 00:38:59

Yep he was single, no idea whether he still is though. This was years ago.

He whined for ages about how he wanted his own flat, but seemed utterly uninterested in actually looking for one. The suddenly he announced he had found a flat and he was gone within days.

As I said, we had a party the night he left! grin

YouAreMyRain Wed 26-Feb-14 00:43:10

I once shared with a woman who would tell ridiculous lies all the time, that she stuck to rigidly. One example was that a tanker full of molten chocolate had apparently parked outside her house, the driver got out and walked off, she went outside with her sister and mother, they saw a tap on the tanker, turned it on and melted chocolate came out so they went and got buckets which they filled with melted chocolate. The driver reappeared and saw a trail of drips of melted chocolate up their path but got back in and drove off.

She was an adult, not a five year old.

Whenever she "tidied" the kitchen she would just put stuff into towering piles and pour bleach on the work tops between the piles of stuff.

I tried very hard to like her but she was very odd.

GwenStacy Wed 26-Feb-14 00:49:29

Not me, but a friend lived with someone who would eat roadkill.

This might be okay in rural areas, but they lived in Brixton. He moved out after he came home one night to find his housemate skinning a cat he'd found to make a curry.

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