Joke of the day

Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Joke N° 1216
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course." Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works." Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jacob says to the pharmacist, "We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please."
Eric Kaplen
Joke N° 1217
MasterCard For Men
Cover charge: $15 Round of drinks: $23 Table dance: $30 Another round of drinks: $23 Couch dance and tips: $50 A round of shots: $34 Private dance in your hotel room: $300 Sending her on her way and never having to hear her complain: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.
Jack R.
Joke N° 1218
Top 8 Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say
8. What do you mean today's our anniversary? 7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 6. Ohh, this diamond is way too big! 5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends." 4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small? 3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there. 2. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way too much for a designer dress. 1. Hey, pull my finger!
Michael Tate
Joke N° 1219
My Father, The Piano Player
Jamie R.
Joke N° 1220
Bank Loan
A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. One of the bank's employees then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Chinese man replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Umberto D.
Joke N° 1221
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and told me how much she adored me." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?" "Don't stop."
Trent G.
Joke N° 1222
Sexual Confessional
Maurizio T.

More Like This


      Best of the Web

        Special Features