Join me in saying NO to Facebook til age 13.

(66 Posts)
weevilswobble Sat 21-Jan-12 08:06:29

Just that really. I'd like DD2 to have a childhood without the drug of Facebook. They can live without it, we can say no!

weevilswobble Sat 21-Jan-12 21:02:43

My DD would be far too worried about having a v angry Mum and the punishment of losing her netbook to set an account up behind my back.

I thought the reason it is 13 is because it is illegal in the USA to hold personal information about under-13s.

TwoIfBySea Sat 21-Jan-12 21:05:26

Thank god, my dts have mentioned it, most of their friends are on it - they're 10.

I've said no, I've told them why and they're also without mobile phones too. Again, they're 10, who the heck are they going to phone?

weevilswobble Sat 21-Jan-12 21:05:27

When i've told my DDs what not to do and why they've generally stuck to it. Like when i said only one Greggs sausage roll a week . grin and you must eat your fruit!

Ample Sat 21-Jan-12 21:16:31

Used to be on facebook, then deactivated it (or whatever deactivated means in fb land). Glad I don't have it now, dh is still on but doesn't use it and dd, well she's only 5 so who knows if fb will be around 10 years from now.

Agree that it should have an age restriction.

LynnCSchreiber Sat 21-Jan-12 21:36:14

You have no way of knowing if your DC have a facebook account set up when they were at a friend's house, which is why I would prefer to set it up myself and monitor it. So that, for example, any emails go through my email account.

Do not think that they will not do this, the lure is incredibly strong, and when they are being pressured by their friends they may well give in.

rubyrubyruby Sat 21-Jan-12 22:12:16

Oh - I would know MmeL wink

LynnCSchreiber Sat 21-Jan-12 22:15:12

How can you say that?

I would imagine that my DD would not do it, but I would not stake my life on it.

I don't see how anyone can say for certain that their child would not do something that was not allowed.

rubyrubyruby Sat 21-Jan-12 22:21:04

I would know. I am friends with their friends parents, their parents are friends with their children. My older DC's are friends with their friends and their friends parents are friends of mine grin etc etc etc

..... honestly, I would know.

Emmielu Mon 23-Jan-12 20:03:38

I set one up when I was nearing 13. My parents didn't know till 5 years ago. I was friends with obviously my circle of friends but anyone I knew whos parents or who knew my mum I blocked. It's easy to do behind peoples backs. Hense why there are the weirdos that have more than 1 account on the run.

ravenAK Mon 23-Jan-12 20:10:06

I'd better not tell you how many of my year 7 tutor group have an account their parents don't know about, then! It's SOP.

My ds had an account at 6. He uses it to chat to his uncle occasionally & plays on the odd game. I know this because I set it up & I log in every so often to keep tabs.

Emmielu Mon 23-Jan-12 20:17:02

RavenAK I love the games on there! Diamond dash is the best one. Terrible with scrabble though. sad

weevilswobble Mon 23-Jan-12 21:06:20

Ravenak, you are a yr 7 tutor and you condone lying about your age on the internet? Whats happened to standards, rules and discipline? And your son at 6??? So you've put on his profile that he's 13?

rubyrubyruby Mon 23-Jan-12 21:08:50


LynnCSchreiber Mon 23-Jan-12 22:06:35

Oh, Weevils. Don't be daft.

How can you talk about standards, rules and discipline? You would think she was sending him out begging or sending him up chimneys.

It is FB. If it is well policed, and lets face it with a 6yo it is likely to be, I don't see the harm.

My DC are 7yo and 9yo and I would set up a FB account if they asked for one. Would rather than than them go behind my back.

And anyone who thinks that they would not find out is deluded. They may well register under another name, that is what my cousin did. With a neutral photos, her parents didn't know for ages.

weevilswobble Tue 24-Jan-12 07:49:33

Mme, i'm not being daft! She's a teacher! I'm just saying teachers are supposed to be about standards, rules and discipline! Or is THAT just daft? Are teachers just about avin a larf these days?
I seem to be one of very few who think kids DONT call the shots!

OnlyANinja Tue 24-Jan-12 08:25:40

It's more important that you pay attention to what they are doing on the computer and teach them about how to be safe and what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour than that you stick to an entirely arbitrary age limit.

It's not as if 12 and 364 days in unsafe and 13 and 0 days is suddenly safe to go on the internet by themselves.

LynnCSchreiber Tue 24-Jan-12 11:45:38

My kids don't call the shots, despite them thinking they do.

She is a teacher when she is at school. How she parents her child has nothing to do with her profession (unless she is horribly abusive, and allowing FB is not in my opinion abusive).

It is not possible to lock the PC down and then think, fine. I have protected my kids. Over 60% of children are thought to have been exposed to porn - in school, at their friends' houses, when they got passed child protection software.

Our kids are often more internet and technology savvy than we are and if they want to access something on the internet, they will find a way.

I guess the comparison is how we used to have a sneaky fag when we were out with friends. I know my mum was absolutely certain that my brother didn't smoke, but he did.

PostBellumBugsy Tue 24-Jan-12 11:52:40

Nope, I won't be joining. I'm all for kids having FB accounts while they are young enough for their parents to set it up for them & teach them some net ettiquette. Both mine have accounts & we do it together. I have their passwords, I help them upload photos, our PC is in the family room, so I know what they are up to.
Social media is the way forward & I want my two to understand how to use it wisely, to know which friends are being stupid on it, what things are really unwise to do, how to manage "friendship" issues on it etc etc etc. They are much less likely to listen to my words of wisdom at 13, than they were when I first set them up on it (at 8 & 10).

Emmielu Tue 24-Jan-12 19:33:27

Ah yes friendship issues is common even on my fb! Some of my friends rant or bitch about their friends on there & they're grown women! I agree if the child is shown properly what it's REALLY for then they can get the most out of it.

weevilswobble Tue 24-Jan-12 20:30:22

I agree with everything being said, BUT you have to lie about their age! Thats my problem!

weevilswobble Tue 24-Jan-12 20:33:26

Bellabeariswideawake said earlier on the thread that is it illegal to hold personal information about under 13s in USA. Is this the only reason for the restriction? I dont know. Anyone?

rubyrubyruby Tue 24-Jan-12 20:51:41

What I am trying to say is that 'Yes' my DC's could feasibly set up FB accounts without my knowledge but there would be little point because of our social network we have.

ravenAK Sun 29-Jan-12 05:22:46

Hi Weevils,

I'm all for lying on the internet. I'm not really called ravenAK, for example. & if I'm filling in details on an internet form that doesn't need to know my postal address, but would quite like to so that it can sell it on to junk mailers, then obviously I'm going to make something up...& I always give a fictitious DOB.

I've taught my ds to do likewise - never, ever, give out genuine details on t'internet if it's avoidable - leave unrequired fields empty, & fill out the required ones truthfully or not dependent on whether the you need the company to have that info...

So yep, I was quite happy to create a FB account for him & give an inaccurate DOB. The DOB on my own account is deliberately wrong too.

The U13 rule IS very much about US legislation re: what data they're allowed to hold on minors. It's not a legal restriction. I daresay it's quibbling, but as far as I'm concerned, the hotmail account & password which are associated with ds's account were both set up & are both controlled by me.

Actually, ds got bored with FB months ago - I probably log into his account more than he does ('Oi ds, you need to reply to Uncle Ben!').

As for how it relates to my profession: well, I'm pragmatic AS a result of what I do for a living. My 'standards, rules & discipline' are different to the extent that I make sensible judgment calls when it's my own kids, as opposed to following external guidelines when I'm working with children. My tutor group thought it was outrageous that I wouldn't let them watch a 12 film the day before we broke up for Xmas - I'd absolutely have let my 7 & 5 year olds see it, but when I'm at work, that isn't my call to make.

So - I'd rather my own dc learnt about the internet under my aegis, than be one of the parents who regularly & smugly inform me that no, their child could not possibly be a cyberbully - because they don't allow FB - until they're confronted with a screenshot of the evidence.

hellsbells99 Sun 29-Jan-12 06:38:32

My dd set up Facebook behind my back when she was 12 - luckily her cousin told me! I deactivated her accnt and grounded her at the time. Having seeking advice from her ict teacher I let her on when she was 13 with me being a friend. Didn't no much about fb at the time - like the private messaging side. She has had problems - been 'fraped' by so called friend etc. I now have her password and she has made this clear to her friends - no longer any nasty stuff and used for making social arrangements, chatting and help with homework. Don't check it v often now as all calm - for now. Sorry for long post. I hate fb really ;)

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