Are you tired of your spouse interrupting you in the bathroom?

Are you tired of your spouse interrupting you in the bathroom? (Sean Gallup/Getty Photo)

Q: Why would your spouse not want you to go in the room with him when he is naked? When we first got married, it was not a big deal if I walked into the bathroom and he was in the shower. Now he has a fit if I walk into the bathroom and he is in the shower.

It does not seem right to me. I thought that since we are married, it would not matter to him.

A: I can think of two reasons. The first might have to do with body image. If his body has changed — if he has developed a pot belly, for example — he could be ashamed of it, and so would not want you to see him naked. But another reason might be that he masturbates in the shower and doesn't want you to catch him doing this. If he takes a long time in the shower, this second reason may be the cause of his shyness. If you're not having sex as often as you'd like, that might be further proof. If that's the case, you two should talk about this.

Q: I took a course on women's studies and sexuality; the most shocking thing my professor said was that vaginal orgasms are a myth. However, when I search online, I find various guides and explanations of vaginal orgasms — everyone except my professor says they're real! Who's right?

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I've never experienced a vaginal orgasm, though I have had clitoral orgasms. I've tried various positions that I've read are likely to cause an orgasm, but nothing has worked.

My boyfriend said that his ex-girlfriend used to experience vaginal orgasms all the time with him (great ...). What's going on? Are vaginal orgasms real? If so, how can I experience one?

A: If the only source for the answer to this question were the world of medicine/science, the answer would be that they are a myth. There is no scientifically validated study that has proved that there are vaginal orgasms. But I have received so many communications throughout the years from women or their partners who say they have experienced such orgasms that it is hard to say it is only a myth. My best guess is that some women can experience such orgasms, but not most women.

So if an individual woman can, then that's great. But if she can't, then she shouldn't feel frustrated but should just enjoy the orgasms she can have via clitoral stimulation.

Q: I'm 18 and addicted to pornography. To be honest, I love porn stars. I don't know what to do. I have a feeling that repeatedly says there is something wrong with it. So, I beg you to tell me what's wrong with porn.

A: Everybody needs to breathe, but if you take in too much air, you're said to hyperventilate, and it can cause you serious problems. So if even the air we breathe can be abused, other things can too, and porn is one of these. You said you are addicted to porn. That implies that you spend too much time looking at it and waste too much of your sexual energy masturbating.

What you need to do is find a girlfriend, but if you're always in front of your computer looking at porn, that won't happen. And if you do find a girlfriend, you also may discover that you cannot perform sexually as well as you could because of your fascination with porn.

So my advice regarding porn would be to set limits for yourself and stick to them. If you look at it, say, only twice a week and masturbate only then, you will no longer be "addicted," and you might not be doing yourself any harm. But if you spend a lot of time every day on this habit, then yes, it is wrong and can cause damage.

Q: I have been having sex with my partner for a couple of months. When he ejaculates inside me, my vagina stings afterward. It even hurts to pee. Is this normal? We both are STD-free, but he is very rough — could that be the reason? Please help; I don't want this to be a barrier between us.

A: Some women are allergic to their partner's semen. But you say that he is rough, so it's also possible that he is irritating the inside of your vagina, including the urethra. You could try adding extra lubrication to see if that helps. You also could try asking him, the next time you have intercourse, to be as gentle as possible. If you have this irritation, then you'll know you have an allergy to his semen. If nothing happens, then it's the roughness of having sex with him that is the likely culprit. So use a process of elimination to see if you can discover the cause. If it is the roughness, see if added lubrication is helpful. Or else you'll have to ask him to calm down.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer is the author of “Dr. Ruth's Sex After 50” (Quill Driver Books) and “Sex for Dummies” (IDG Books). Have a question for Dr. Ruth? Write to her at

Distributed by King Features Syndicate