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Hearts and flowers, kisses and hugs, aches and pains

Sandi considers Valentine's Day with all the trimmings

Ah, Valentine's Day.

Some people live for this day, others loathe it.

Whether you fall at one end or the other or somewhere in between, we all have to deal with all the angles of this day for showing those you love how you feel, no matter how awful you may feel when you do.

First, the cards.

The don't make one that says, "Happy Valentine's Day. I Love You but my Fibro is acting up so if you touch me I'll deck you."

I don't think you can find one that says "I know what day it is, but my energy level is so low that I'm doing well to just open my eyes, so can we do this later?"

Sadder yet, there is no nice way to tell the person you love that you: (a) aren't in the mood for lovin', (b) hurt like hell so sex is out of the question tonight, (c) simply don't care right now, (d) wish your body would cooperate but it isn't or (e) all of the previous answers, and this does not mean you do not love them with all your heart and soul, but all the champagne and rose petals on the planet aren't going to get your loved one laid.

Valentine's Day is a mine field for those of us with auto-immune diseases, visible or not. We love being loved and we can love back, but it's hard to find that one person who understands, year after year, that you have no real control over your libido or body anymore and it's anyone's guess when the mood will strike the same time your body will cooperate.

Water is a wonderful thing in that it takes weight off joints and makes movement easier, but finding somewhere that holds that much water that isn't in public isn't as easy as you may think. And really, none of us want to wind up in jail for indecent exposure do we?

Hey, you don't even know if you will have the energy to go to dinner, let alone celebrate afterwards.

The saddest thing? This isn't just a Valentine's Day thing. For millions of us, this is every day.

That means finding someone who is understanding enough to wait or to work with us to find ways to express physical love without causing pain. That search can seem endless.

So, this year may be one with just a card and a kiss, or maybe a romantic dinner, or maybe it's your lucky year and there will be fireworks that don't involve pain radiating from joints. I hope so for most people who are reading this. We all deserve all the delights our bodies were designed to give.

Whatever your Valentine's Day brings you, I wish you a happy one. We all deserve it.


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