Hello. Alright, new fic. Read n' enjoy AND read n'review!!!! Now then this may come as a shock, but, this is NOT a dream! Unfortunatly for Numy, this is not a dream! As I was reading reviews for Choking on the Pain (did i spell it right? lol!) someone told me that making it all a dream was the easy way out. at first i was a little annoyed seeing how that was my whole intent. I said, "I'm gonna make Numair's worst nighmare!" and then i wrote it. but you know what? They had made a good point. it was sort of like an easy way out. They also suggested that i make something like that that WASN'T a dream. I liked the idea. Therefore i wrote this. It's the same but different. Actually, it's sort of totally different. You see Jon doesn't seem as "dumb" as in the other one. (i mean come on. "It was about apples"? yeah right!) it's more detailed since it isn't a dream and...drumroll please... Daine does NOT leave Numair for Perin!!!!! And for all of you perin hating people out there, there is a part that you will really like! Anyways, well brownies for all of you who actually read this little intro thing. and brownies with icecream for all who review after they read this!!

Oh No! I can't believe this!!!!!! I have forgotten to add these to like all of my fics!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this! (except the plot anda few special characters) Even in my wildest dreams i will never own any of this and anyone who says that I own or claim to own or even that i don't respect the works of the great Tamora Pierce then point them out to me. They will be dead or severly maimed by tomorrow.


I didn't know how long I had been here. I lost track of the days, the weeks, the months, the years, the centuries, the eons. What did it matter? Every waking moment was filled with pain and misery. The only time I could ever escape was in my dreams, and even they lasted a pitifully short time. Whether interrupted by transformation from dream to nightmare or wakened by my living nightmare, I was returned. Returned to reality. The hellish reality that was my life.

Hell. That sounds relaxing. Sounds so much better than this. It hurts in so many ways. I just want to scream. But I don't. I already do enough of that during the day. Besides. I don't want him to hear. Perhaps it is foolish for me to think he'd actually hear me. But it wouldn't surprise me. He is a mage after all. A mage just as I once was. I was the best there was, but no more.

Bright sides. Since I came here I have tried to look for bright sides. But slowly, one by one, they have all disappeared. Now only one remains. She is not with me. My one true love is away, safe, unaware of what I endure, or not endure. Is it enduring when you are tortured to the brink of insanity? Or as Alanna would say, "Past insanity? Because you all ready are insane," Tortured till your throat is hoarse form screaming and you know that it will never stop no matter how much you tell them things because they don't want to know anything. They just want to hear you shriek. Oh gods! How I want to see her. How I want to gaze upon her face. Stroke her silky curls. Hear that laugh. Receive one of those beautiful smiles that she reserves only for me. Just me and no one else. If I concentrate hard enough I could just feel her lips brush my own. Just feel her arms embrace me and pull me to her breast. I could just feel her hand stroke my face and her warm breath upon me ad she whispered encouraging words of love in my ear. I smiled. I'm glad he couldn't see that smile other wise her would "wipe it off my face"

I had read a book once where some one was tortured like this. He did something. What was it? Ah yes. He took his brain away. Took his brain to his love and escaped all pain. I had found this foolish when I had read it with my love. She had found it romantic. I suppose it was. I don't find it so foolish now. How I wish I could accomplish this feat. Maybe I almost do. But as soon as I hear my torturer coming I fall out of my reverie and fear grips my heart. She whispers my name in my ear and I whisper hers as I slip into my memories.

The day was warm. Not hot but warm. It felt good on your skin. As I strolled around the palace grounds I could hear some one yelling. As I arrived on the scene I was in time to see Jon practically take some guy's head off.

"NO! The answer is No! How dare you ask that?"

"Something the matter, Majesty?" I asked, curious. I must admit, it doesn't take much to get my curiosity aroused. The King's face paled.

"Uh, nothing, Numair. It's nothing," Liar. I'm not going to call him that now. Later perhaps. I see we have company. The "company" turned to face me. I must admit, not nice looking. His face was squashed and he sneered at me. Very short, yet muscular. Not someone I would want to meet in a dark ally if I didn't have my magic, was tied up, and if I was drunk. I regret that assumption now, damn him.

"You'll change your mind," he said turning back to Jon.

'Yes maybe I will. Maybe I'll kill you right here and now!" He rested one hand on his sword hilt and he other glowed blue with his gift. He toyed with the fire on his fingers.

"Or I'll just leave,"

"Thank you," he flung the fire at the other man's feet. Our "company" turned on his heel and raced to his horse. As he galloped off I looked from the man's receding back to the king.

"What in Mithros's name was that?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a minor problem," Liar.

"You nearly incinerated that guy!"

"Numair! Just drop it!" Jon yelled. I raised an eyebrow. That's a sure sign that it involves me.

"Whatever you say, Majesty," I answered with a mocking bow. Jonathan stormed towards me; his hand had flared up again. Suddenly he topped and shook his head. He gave a sigh and patted my shoulder.

"Just...don't worry, Numair,"

"About what?" But Jon had already left.

It was lunch. I didn't know where "Daine was. Mithros! I wish I did! Why couldn't I spend more time with her? I swear, if I ever get out of this I will bind us together with the strongest spell I can find. I'm sure she won't mind. Of course, I never will get out of this. Alanna came to sit with me.

"Hello Master Mage," she said. She seemed restless.

"Hey," I watched as she tapped her foot on the ground and drummed her fingers on the table.

"Are you okay?"

'Just restless," Noooo, "Do you want to have a fencing match?' Has she forgotten that I have only held a sword, what? Like five times in my life?

"That sounds fun, but only one problem, I can't fence!"

"What?" What is up with this woman?

"I...Can't...Fence! Or do you just want to win really badly?" She cursed under her breath. What is going on today?

"What's the matter?"

"Just...well...I can't believe what happened today!" My Gods! Would you like to fill me in more?

"What happened today?"

"You don't know?"

"So many things happened today. Am I just supposed to know what you're talking about?" Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!

"With Jon's news from-"Curses! She just realized I have no clue what she's talking about.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well what?" she asked innocently. Don't give me that.

"From who? Jon's news from who?"

"There's no news," Liar!


"Am not! Haven't you ever heard of a joke?" Come on! I'm not that stupid!

"Yes. I've heard of jokes. Now what news?" Ha! Get out of that, smart one.

"No news, as in I'm joking!" I want to strangle her so bad!

"Tell me!"


"Tell me!"



"No!" This is really childish but I want to know!

"Tell me!" I stood up. People began to stare. Alanna stands up too.

"There's nothing to tell!" More staring. Ooh! Good idea! I am brilliant.

"Alanna," I said suddenly, "Now don't panic, but there's a spider in your hair," She's going to kill me for this! Oh well! She should have told me. Here comes the fire works...

"Ahhh!!! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! I hate spiders!" If you weren't staring before then you are now.

"What spider?'

"What do you mean what spider?!" she screamed. This is fun.

'As in, what spider. Haven't you ever heard of a joke?" She's really going to be ticked.

"As in...no spider?" her voice is dangerously quiet. I should probably run but since when do I use common sense?

"As in, I'm joking," Suddenly I found my self on my back. How did that happen? I get to my feet and tackle the knight. Now every one is crowding around. Alanna flipped me over and is banging my head on the ground, her hands on my throat. How dumb can you get Numair? Let's pick a fight with the King's Champion. Well, let's see how well I paid attention to Onua last week. My legs hooked around the Lioness and flung her back. Ha! Wasn't expecting that were you? I got to my feet and gave a smirk. Mithros! She recovers fast. Goddess! I never knew how terrifying violet eyes could be. Oh no, not the sword! She's going to kill me! Her hand was on her sword hilt and she began to unsheathe it when...

"Horse Lords! You two are the most childish people I have ever met!" Yes! Saved by...the...really upset Daine. This day just keeps getting better and better.

"Hello Daine. Nice of you to drop by," I say.

"Nice of me to drop by? Mithros Numair! If I hadn't you'd be dead!" But...But...

"And you! "She whirled to Alanna, "You tried to kill him! What is the matter with you?"

"Well...I-I wasn't going to kill him!" People were beginning to chuckle.

"Oh, not going to kill him! Okay! You were just trying to chop him up into little pieces!" Answer that Lioness. But Daine had turned back to me.

'You are in so much trouble!" she grabbed my arm and began to drag me to the door. This looked pretty silly since I'm a foot taller than her.

"I can't believe you two! I don't even know what I'm going to do with you!" well, we could do this,

"I'm sorry Daine," and I eased my lips over hers. I had surprised her but she didn't push away. Her fingers laced through my hair. We were encouraged by cat calls and shouts of "Awwww!" Finally she pulled away. But I'm not finished. And if I knew what was to happen I never would have been.

"Am I off the hook?"

"Yes, I suppose you-"

"Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!" Darn! I roll my eyes and Alanna continues, "He kisses you and he's off the hook! What about me? I can hardly do that!" This was met by laughter.

"You know, she's right." Curse that stupid logic! "Alanna is off the hook, but you Numair, are sentenced to..." she whispered the rest in my ear. I love these kinds of punishments. I gave a low bow and kissed her hand,

"As you wish, Fair Goddess," she smacked my arm playfully and I left.

I had a few hours left until I had to meet Daine for my "punishment". Since I had a lot of spare time I decided to try to get information n form someone. Key word here: try. Onua was in the stables. Not a surprise in my opinion. I leaned up against as stall.

"What do you want?" she asked testily. I put on an innocent smile,

"What ever makes you think I want something?" she snorted,

"Don't give me that. Let's see... One: why would anyone go anywhere without even one small thing that they want. Two: you have that stupid smile on your face that you think is so innocent. And three: It's you. Therefore that more than quadruples the factor of you wanting something. By the way, I'm not going to tell you,"

"Curse your logic! Why not?" please tell me before I blow something up!

'Because it will only worry you,"

'For some one who is so smart you sure are stupid," whoops! That made no sense.

"That makes no sense," I am aware of that. Can't let her know that though.

"Maybe not to you. It's a scholar thing" That was the wrong thing to say. Onua's eyes flashed dangerously and I found my self being pelted with grooming tools.

'How dare you pull that scholar thing on me, Numair Salmalin! If it wasn't for me you'd be starving right now!" I can't believe she just said that to me! She clapped a hand over her mouth.

'Gods Nuamir! I didn't mean it! I swear it!" at that moment I didn't care! How could she? She knows how touch a subject that was! I nearly died! Ever had enough to eat! People scorned me because of what they thought I was. I had worded so hard at the University only to throw it all away to flee for my life. Onua was my savior but she had no right to spring this on me! I told her so. She still seemed angry. She's acting like I should be sorry! I told the truth. She had no right! She should apologize to me! Again I told her so.

"Apologize?!" she yelled, "You just lord it over us! How hard your life was! How great you are!" I couldn't believe this! That was a lie! I knew it, and I knew she knew it too. Right now she was so upset that she just wanted to hurt someone and I just happened to be that someone. That sill didn't make it okay though.

"I can't believe this!" I yell, "What is this? Let's beat Numair up both mentally and physically day?"

"I don't know! Maybe Numair's just a jerk today and is pissing everyone off!"

'I'm sorry! Next time something happens that concerns me I'll just not be curious!"

'You, you, you! That's all you think about!"

'Do I? Well if it's not about me then tell me what is going on!"

"I can't and I won't!"


"Because it would worry-"

"Me! Yes, it would worry me! See? You just proved my point! Bad news comes and everyone but me knows! You won't tell me because it will worry me more than anyone else! Obviously the main component of all this is me!"

"Damn your logic!'

"You know what Onua?'


"This argument is turning into a circle. I don't have time to stand here and yell the same things over and over again!" actually I do but that's not the point.

"Fine! Then just leave!"

"Fine! I will!"



"And don't talk to me for a while either!"



'Yeah I'll go so far away that you don't have to look at me!" I really didn't mean as far away as I ended up going. I meant to go some where on palace grounds not out of the country.


"Fine!" I turned on my heel and stormed out. I heard her take a few steps after me and her hand grabbed my shoulders.

"Nuamir, I-I-I didn't mean any of what I said," her voice was cracked. I just shrugged her hand off and left. Didn't look back, didn't say good bye. I regret that now.

After storming out of the stables I realized I still had time before meeting with Daine. I soon found myself outside King Jonathan's study. I gave a sigh. Jon was now my only hope of finding out what was going on. I had a feeling that this meeting whether I got what I wanted of not, it would end with Jon yelling at me. You know what? I was right. I opened the door and stepped in. Jon looked up

"Thanks for knocking,"

"No problem," after all, he does this all of the time.

"Need something?"

"Actually yes," I walked over to the large desk, "Jon, I need you to tell me something,"

"Numair can this wait? I'm busy." He sighed. I sighed too.

"I have been waiting all day. What's going on?" I hadn't been very specific but I could tell he understood.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. I demand to know what it is!" Jon stood up.

"I don't have to take this!" he roared. I should apologize and leave but I don't'.

"Yes you do! Know why? I'm giving it to you!" The king's mouth opened and closed a few times. He was at a loss for words,

"Out. Get out." he said quietly.

"No Jon, please. I'm at my wits end here," I said getting quieter too, "You think you're doing me good keeping it from me but I know you're hiding something and quite frankly you're not doing a good job. I'm not as stupid as I look," Jon smiled at this.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but you're not going to like it."

"I've been getting this impression the whole day," I muttered. The king walked over to the window and looked out, hands clasped behind his back. He rubbed his head as if he had a head ache. He turned,

"Numair-I-Ah-Oh-hmmm," I was getting scared. It must have been bad.

"Just read this," Jon drew a letter from his pocket and thrust it across the desk to me. I was getting anxious now. I bent forward and picked up the piece of paper. I hadn't read a single word yet when the seal caught my eye. Eyes and mouth opened wide. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

'No," Jon's voice was quiet.

"I'm sorry. It's-"

"I haven't read it yet. I was just looking at the seal." I snapped. I move to the contents of the letter:

To Whom It May Concern:

His most Imperial Majesty, Ozorne, Emperor Mage of Carthak, demands that his royal cousin, Jonathan of Conte, King of Tortall return the black robed mage Numair Salmalin once known as Arram Draper to our empire. Reasons for this act include that said mage has committed treason against the crown. Failure to aid us in our pursuit of justice will result in a war between our most esteemed nations. A reply is expected no later than Midsummer. Please obey our request and deliver said "package" as soon as possible or prepare for war.


His Most Imperial Majesty, Ozorne, Emperor Mage of Carthak

"Damn!" I whispered. Jonathan moved over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I jumped out of my chair,

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. Jon stepped back,

'Numair, relax,"

"Relax?! Relax?! How am I supposed to relax? That's what you were all hiding! You're going to give me back to that...that mage!"

"Numair, we're not-"

"How could you?! I trusted you!" Suddenly the king lunged toward me. He clapped a hand over my mouth. Oh Gods! He's going to! I'm going to die! No I'm not! I began to summon gift but...

"Numair shut up or I swear, I'll hit you! Do you really think we'd just give you away? I thought you had more trust in me, in all of us than that. Fear left me and Jon uncovered my mouth.

'Your not-your not going to send me back?"

"No Numair, we'd never do that!"

"But-but, the war and-"

"Numair we're not going to. And if Ozorne starts a war then we'll give him one hell of a war! We have you after all," I smiled weakly,

"Yeah you do. Um, I need fresh air, good bye,"


I left the king feeling somewhat better. Not much but somewhat. I made my way through the trees. I had a meeting, ah, I mean 'punishment" with Daine after all. I stopped and looked around. My fear had come back. Ozorne didn't give up easily. When he wanted something he would do anything in his power to get it. And he had a lot of power. I hit the nearest tree as hard as I could and drew blood. I threw back my head and screamed my defiance,

"I won't go! Nobody can make me!"

'Think of Daine," I told my self, breathing deeply, 'You can't disappoint her," I continued.

"Through the trees I could make out a small fountain bubbling happily and a bench occupied by Daine. I spend up.

"Daimph-" I was stopped. Another hand was clapped over my mouth so hard that my face stung. I was slammed up against a tree. It was that guy from earlier today. Damn! Not even drunk! It is dark though. My hand filled with my gift but before I could shove it in his face, two other figures wrestled me to he ground, breaking my concentration. The nearest of my adversaries held me to the ground while the third forced a liquid down my throat. It tasted vile and burned like fire. I tried to yell but my mouth was covered. The three men were still on top of me. I blasted them off with my gift. Or so I thought. Nothing happened! There was a burning sensation deep inside me. It hurt. Then I realized, that burning sensation, a result of that liquid, was imprisoning my gift. What the hell is going on? What do they want? Nothing good obviously. I kicked and struggled as hard as I could but they only put all of their weight on me. I stopped. Two of them were mages. One put a spell on my mouth so that I couldn't make a sound. The other bound my hands with magical ropes. If you looked through the trees you could still see Daine, unaware of what had just happened. It was almost silent after all. I began to struggle again, calling for Daine. Naturally no sound came from my mouth.

"Be still, or the girl dies," One said softly but menacingly. I froze on the spot, "Important to you is she?" asked the short man. No, not really, just the love of my life!

"Let's go," said one nervously. He was the one who had silenced me.

"No! We have to wait here!" answered Shortie. He was obviously the leader.

"But we're almost out in the open!"

Shortie shrugged, "Those are our orders," I sat there. Silent and unmoving. Afraid for , me and afraid for Daine I watched as she became impatient. Soon a figure came up behind her. I couldn't tell who it was. He came up behind and wrapped his arms around Daine. My Daine. Fury gripped my mind and body. I forgot to sand still and lunged toward them. I was pulled roughly back. As I began to yell every curse I knew (which was a lot) the leader leaned over me,

'Ah ah ah," he said, wagging a finger as if I was a child that had done something wrong, 'Remember what happens," and he indicated a cross bow. My eyes narrowed. He wouldn't dare shoot he would he? Better not take a chance on that. I went back to Daine. She seemed to relax in those arms.

"Hello, Wildmage," It was...

"Perin!" she cried. She broke out of his arms and whirled around,

"What are you doing here?" that stupid clerk, Perin. That stalker!

"I could ask you the same ting, sexy babe," (a/n: that right there. I don't know why I used that. In a way it's sort of funny. I had a similar experience once. Except in my case, in addition to sexy babe, I was also called foxy mamma, ::shudders:: ugh! I just needed something that would offend a few people. Daine and Numair to be exact.) Both Daine and I stiffened. How dare he! I almost ran out to kill Perin, despite the threats on Daine's well being. Daine seemed as offended as I.


"Hey, hey, take it easy, Sweetling," he reached out a hand and stroked her cheek. My blood boiled with fury. She slapped his hand away.

"Get away form me!" Perin just leave. Leave before I rip you to shreds.

"Why? You seem so lonely,"

"I'm waiting for Numair!" Listen to the woman, jerk. Don't make me somehow get away and over there.

"Maybe he's not coming." The clerk said. What?

"What?" asked Daine.

"Maybe he's not coming. Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe he's off in the woods somewhere with someone else," What the? This wouldn't surprise me if he was in on this kidnapping scheme.

'Numair wouldn't do that! He loves me!" Damn right I do! Now step away form the wildmage!

"But he's so old!" No I'm not! "You need someone closer to your age."

"If I did it wouldn't be you! Go Daine!

"Oh come on, give me a chance!" and Perin, and he, Gods I can't bvelieve this! Shoved his lips onto Daine's! I forgot the sit still rule and lunged forward again. The mages pulled me back as shorty pulled back the bolt on the bow. I froze again. I hated this! Daine needed me! She screamed into the kiss and shoved him away.

"Slap him Daine! Slap him!" I yelled. No sound came out. She didn't slqap him. She did something oh so much better. I shall treasure this moment always. My wildmage pulled her arm back and swung. When he fist conne4ctex with his face something cracked. Let's just say it wasn't Daine's fist. Perin crumpled to the ground clutching his face.

"Why you-" followed by a stream of bad words. If looks could kill, Perin would be dieing a painfully slow death. He got to his feet and took a step forward, "You'll pay for that!" but before he could get a step closer Daine's head turned to thawt of a lion and roared. Perin cried out and stumbled back (a/n: If you want, pretend he screamed like a girl.) He head returned to it's normal shape and she yelled,

'Don't ever come near me again you creep! Or I swear, next time I'll kill you! Understand?" Then she kicked him where it hurts... hard. I was so proud! She stormed off, stopped, came back, and kicked him a few more times then left leaving Perin ofn the ground sobbing. My captors were shaking with laughter tht they tried to keep silent. I, on the other hand, could laugh as loud as I wanted. No sound came out. Then I realized this woud be a good chance to esampe. After all, no Daine tro shootan dquite frankly, Perin could burn in Hell. I had almost made it6 out of the trees when my captors tackled me. I began yelling at the top of my lungs, but again, no sound came out because of that stupid spell! I wasn't going ot lose though! I ought and stuggled but it's hard to fend off three strong attackers with no magic, no voice, and bound hands. Eventually I was beat unconscious. Everything went black and I knew no more.

Long chapter huh? so what do you think? Oh and that thing at the beginning, with the taking my brain away, that was from the Princess Bride (the book not the movie) i love that book and movie!!! If you don't understand that tell me and i'll explain it next chapter.