Saginaw News columnist is a half-full kind of gal

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on May 05, 2008 at 5:31 AM, updated May 05, 2008 at 5:33 AM

Sometimes I'm in awe of the perpetual optimist.

I'd like to say I'm a closet optimist -- always hoping the best, knowing it could happen; but realizing something could trip me up. This actually makes me a pessimist.

Optimists love to give you the glass half-full example in trying to prove their point. But do they ever tell you exactly what's in that glass?

And what am I supposed to do with it when I have it? Is it a collection device? Then it's half-full. Are you supposed to empty it so the contents can provide nourishment for you or a plant? Then it's half-empty. And why do we assume it's water?

Half a glass of liquid nitrogen could do some damage when you spill it on yourself, I suspect. And federal authorities have banned liquids on airplanes fearing someone could smuggle explosive nitroglycerin.

Then does it matter whether it's half full or half empty? It's gonna do some damage.

It pays to remain a little suspicious. Years of scouting indicates to always "Be Prepared." How can one prepare if you don't consider all the possibilities?

The very nature of the news business means we're holding people, agencies and government accountable. It's difficult to find inner peace when that's what you do every day.

Part of the "Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson says to "wear a cheerful expression all the time and to smile at every living creature we meet."

The pessimist in me replies that pit bulls see that smile as a direct challenge to an alpha dog, and other people will simply think you're loony.

The creed suggests "live in the faith that the whole world is on your side." Writing one opinion column will definitely convince anyone there's no truth to that, as will driving north on Interstate 75 on Friday nights. Or try walking by airport security agents with the belief they trust you implicitly.

The creed asks members to "talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet." They would have to put me in the remedial class on that one. I don't even know where to start.

I thought about joining the Optimist Club; but I'm pretty sure they'd reject me. They certainly wouldn't let me carry a half-full glass around.