Dude, Your Wife Was Not Raped By an 'Invisible Man'

Hello, unidentified Malaysian dude who lives in Bintulu, Sarawak! We read with interest the news that you had contacted police, hoping they'd arrest the "invisible man" who was—according to a medium—"us[ing] black magic to take away [your] wife's 'soul' and rape her."

The police, Asia One News reports, "could not do anything." Indeed they could not! That is because your wife was not raped by an invisible man. Let's go over the events that led you to contact the authorities:

The youth, in his 20s, said his wife would remove her clothing, touch her own body and moan while sleeping at night, since a month ago.

Dude. Dude. Your wife was not... [Sigh] Come on, dude.

[Asia One News via Fark; image via Shutterstock]