aime1984's picture

Is being married always hard work?

I have only been married almost three years now and it seems like it has been 30 years now. My marriage seems like a constant battle. I have a son who is 2 years old and I am always fighting with my husband about spending some time with us. My husband is a very busy man he works Monday through Friday and is a soccer coach on the weekends for 3 teams. I don't have a problem with him doing the coaching what I have a problem with is what he does after he coaches on the weekends. He doesn't call it a night after games and comes home to us but yet he spend his extra time with his friends drinking and hanging out. Our life style is more of a collage room mate where we see each other during the week but are our own things and I wont see him until late at night on the weekends. I call him and nag him to come home and spend time with his son and I but he gets upset and says what do yo want me to go home and do???? I don't understand am I being too pushy I feel new at all this but I almost feel trapped at home while he is out doing other things. I am not feeling the way I thought I would feel as a newly wed is this bad???? I want to say I feel more alone and craving attention!!!! Please give me some advice

cammyk's picture
My youngest is 16,been married longer. You need a talk with him.The kicker is getting his attention without "nagging".Suggest finding a sitter,plan a night out,nice dinner. If money is tight,bring little one somewhere,cook a nice dinner. Make sure he knows this "date" plan ahead. Take time,make yourself feel good, dress up, makeup, nice clothes.Start on a positive note, things you are happy about, things you did when you were "in love" things were new, make him remember "good" things.At some point have a heart to heart,without negativity,let him know you miss him,need his attention,love and help at home.Because a man works,he does not get to slack with home and kids.He needs to help you, let him know you'r overwhelmed,feeling lonely,it takes a lot of togetherness to have a good marriage. Do you get some alone time without having to be "mommy" it's important to your mental/physical health. He needs to come and "do" "daddy" and husband" because you love him, not because you want to nag.