This Joke Was Funnier Five Minutes Ago



So here's this week's column, on repeating jokes, is after the jump. Of course, don't be afraid to let him have it in the comments.

I inherited two interesting traits from my ancestors, both of which I've been desperately trying to reverse over the past few years. The first trait is an urge to interrupt someone telling a story by telling my own story that somehow relates to the topic at hand. I am often so anxious to relate a hilarious anecdote that I stop listening to the person talking to me and wait for him to take a breath so I can start yapping. It's usually not a big problem, though, since most people just aren't very interesting anyway.

The second trait is a unconscious disposition to tell my friends stories that I've already told them multiple times. After the third or fourth telling, my Gawker Stalker moment with Josie Bissett loses its luster. Yes, the oral tradition of my Italian forebears has passed down through the generations; the only difference between them and me is that I use 50% less hand gestures and speak 50 percent better broken English. Still, I have important things to say and I expect that you pay attention to me.

What does this have to do with commenting on Deadspin? First off, we must stop making jokes that have already been made. I realize that we've been adding up to 100 comments on each post and I don't expect everyone to read every single one, unless you are going to jump into the conversation and add your own. Nothing gets my goat more than reading a hilarious joke at the beginning of the comments and then seeing the exact same joke two pages down and ten minutes later. Yuck! Excuse me for sounding like your tenth grade driving instructor, but commenting is a privilege and not a right, and that privilege can be taken away from you at any time, especially if you drink a gallon of margaritas and stay up until 4 a.m. talking to yourself in the Up All Night post (right, Skeets?). Read the comments. Savor them like a 15-year-old glass of scotch.

Sometimes, however, you'll make a similar joke at the exact moment as someone else, and both comments will appear at the same time. How cute! You two are twinnies! Jinx! Someone owes someone else a beer! But you don't need to post another comment telling us how disappointed you are that you weren't first with that hilarious quip. You got beat fair and square and you lost your chance to win Commenter of the Fortnight, as opposed to the fine folks below:

Re:Dog bites cornerback
Tuffy: Once an Alabama police dog, always an Alabama police dog.

Re:Devil Rays' new nautical stadium plans
Doyle_McPoyle: Not to be outdone, the Mets new stadium will fully collapse every September.

Re:Devil Rays' new nautical stadium plans
Gourmet Spud: Not since Vanity Smurf have I seen a bluer flame.

Also, every single pun that Suss made.