What time does LO go to sleep for the night?

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Poll - Help me settle an argument with DH (a bit long)

Last edited 06/24/2013

We went to an indoor play area at the mall yesterday.  The play area is intended for small kids - no bigger than 42".  We go there about once a month without incident.  There are often lots of little ones that are still crawlers.  There are signs posted everywhere about safety - watch out for the little ones, no running, no shoes.  When we got there yesterday the place was packed, which wasn't a surprise because the weather was pretty iffy.  In the past Luke has always stuck pretty close to me, but this time he was feeling braver and wanted to explore. 

DH left to go buy something in a store, which usually isn't a problem, but it left me watching two little ones going in opposite directions.  There were kids in there that were at least 8 years old, running fast and playing tag.  They kept mowing over the little ones.  Luke got run over, and fell flat on his face.  Then a very close call with the same kid.  I asked him where his parents were and he pointed to his mother.  She was on the phone, totally not paying attention.  I picked Luke up, who was crying, and asked her to ask her kids to slow down, that they were knocking the little ones over.  She nods, then continues her phone call as if nothing had happened.

DH comes back and I tell him that we either need to leave or each take one kid to watch.  He wanted the kids to get some more energy out, so we stayed, and he took Luke and I took Annie.  A few minutes pass, and Annie gets mowed over by another one of these kids.  She's yelling after him "walking feet!", which is what they learn at day care.  The kid runs past again with a very close call, and I say "Hey!"  The kid stops in his tracks.  I say, "There's lots of little ones in here.  Please slow down and watch where you're going".

At that point, DH got upset that I spoke with this kid directly.  He said that getting run over is to be expected at the playground, and I had no right to speak to somebody else's kid.  He said I'm being an overprotective mother, and the kids need to learn how to negotiate their way around the playground.  In my view, the big kids shouldn't have even been at the playground, they were breaking posted rules, and they were hurting little kids.  Of course I'm going to protect my kids.

Who's right?


Our beloved Annie arrived in our lives 3/13/2010
Our dear Luke joined us on 12/26/2011

Julie + DH + Annie + Luke = my dream come true

Comments (16)

1 2
Posted 06/24/2013
I think you are both sort of right.

I wouldn't tell someone else's kid what to do unless it was a dangerous situation. BUT when there are older and bigger kids running around, use your common sense and leave if you have young children who could be hurt by them. I would never take my son to an indoor playground ar this age because of the probability of him being mowed down by bigger kids.
Posted 06/24/2013

I agree with you that there where safty issues you let the parents know and they did nuthing.  I would have spoken to the child as well 8 yr old on a baby playgroud not a good idea.  If it was baby on a 8yr playground a differant sittuation. 

I would also like to add in my experance my kids have always gotten sick afyer visiting an mall playground and the fancier the playground the worse it was but my kids are also not in daycare.

Posted 06/24/2013

If kids got ran over more than once and no parent did anything, it's time to talk to the kid directly. If they are about 8, they are old enough to control themselves and take direction from adults. It's totally fine to tell them to slow down. ESPECIALLY since they aren't supposed to be there anyway. I wouldn't demand they leave since it wasn't an ideal day to be outside. I don't see an issue with them playing there, but they need to respect the LOs who the play area was made for. I agree that LOs need ot learn to deal with big kids and get out of the way, but that's hard when you're in a smaller area and the big ones are running crazy. If you were at the playground I'd say it was less of a big deal. But I still think the big kids need to be aware of little ones on a playground too. I HATE when kids that are like 12 and older (esp teenagers) are playing tag on the playground and running up and down the stairs, pushing the little kids. That's not what the playground is for. Everyone needs to learn to deal with their surroundings!


Ashley + DH Little Man (2.5)Little Lady (7 months)

Posted 06/24/2013

I said other because I think you are both right. You typically can't complain about kids running around  on a playground and not paying attention. That's what kids do. But, I do get irritated when kids who are too big or too old are on a specific playground designated for toddlers. That is the whole reason the playground is designated for toddlers-- to avoid something liek that. So, in this situation I probably would have said politely to the kids, "this is a playground for little ones, can you try to be careful of them. Thans!".

Posted 06/24/2013
You are right, but I would not have stayed. When you have big kids on a toddler playground and their parents are busy not watching them, someone small is going to get hurt. After bringing to the parent's attention and trying to instruct the big kid to play safely, you take your own kids and leave. They can run around at home.
17 months is still too little to always get out of the way in my opinion.
Posted 06/24/2013
I said other. We just took our boy to the indoor play area at the mall and he had lots of fun (oldest kid was like 4)
I said other because I really can't tell how you said it, as in the tone, if it was in a yelly "quit it, kid" type of way then you are wrong, you can't straight out discipline someone else's kid like that. If it was in a sincere "can you be careful" way then I can see doing that.


"When I am down and I am blue all I have to do is close my eyes and think of you and the world is new" :]

Posted 06/24/2013

You didn't grab the child, you SAID something to her...are we not even allowed to speak to other peoples' children if they are interacting with our children???

If you are in a place that little kids are running all over hte place and someoen almost gets hurt, I think ANY parent who is nearby should say something to the kdis involved.  This is tripple true of their parent isn't paying attention and actually the older children shouldn't even be there.  We have a children's play area in our local library and the bigger kids are always trying to get in the baby ("can take no more than 3 independant steps") area.  If there are actually infants in there rolling around, I ask older (preschool) kids to leave (if there are near-toddlers or no-one people usually turn a blind eye)

Thsi country has gotten out of control with "my kid my rules"...if you want to have your child go play in a public space iwth other kids, then they need to behave ok and it isnice to feel that all parents are watching out for all of the kids. IT isn't right for one person's rules or lack thereof to cause other kids to get hurt or chase them away.



Posted 06/24/2013

And your husband actually thinks kids your chidlrens' age should be "negotiating" on their own with 8 year olds? They are not capable of it.  Yes if another toddler grabbed a toy or something and you got upset I would say that would be an overreaction, but tha tis not what we are talking about here.  An 2010 LO has no way to negotiate or dealw ith an 8 year old.



Posted 06/24/2013
I think you are mostly right. I think I would have done the same thing you did. You first went to the mom and since she did nothing you have the right to say something to the kid. You weren't being mean or anything. I get what your husbands is saying cause I wouldn't want another parent correcting my kid. Cause that's my job. But my kid wouldn't be in that situation. So I get where you husband is coming from. But I think you did everything right.
Posted 06/24/2013

Me. i would have lefted, being a mama bear at times, i didnt come here to scold anyone else child, espeically when their mom isnt paying attension
an 8yr old will be a 8yr old, you'll talk to them many tims before sometimes getting them to do someting right...

But me being a hothead, i would went off on the parent...

then Dh would have to get me from the pookie for going upside someone one's head...


mommy to Ethan 1.30.12
wife to stephen 8.18.12

to know me is to love me...

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