You Know What It’s Time For? Another Oil Spill


Artist’s rendering.

The Singapore Strait had a morning pick-me-up of 2,500 metric tons of crude oil this morning, when a ship crashed into an oil tanker, spilling sludge into the sea. Only—“only”—405 barrels emptied into the water, whereas around 5,000 barrels a day are currently gushing into the Gulf of Mexico, according to The New York Times. There were no injuries, and mercantile trade was not affected. “We are very sorry for the incident,” a spokesman for the company that owns the tanker told CNN. “It was an incident caused not by us hitting something, but by something hitting us. Not that that excuses it,” he added—a very transparent attempt to attract his own fake Twitter.