5 Dating Rules To Ditch

Online Dating Advice Rewritten

5 better ways to type in to modern love

When traditional dating advice fell short of HowAboutWe's resident dating writer Chiara Atik's actual experiences, she decided to write her own rules—literally. Published in April, Modern Dating: A Field Guide is Atik's atypical dating book. "I've talked to so many women over the years and had all this data from HowAboutWe that I thought I may as well put it into a book," says Atik. "It's mostly to encourage people to date."

And so far, so good. Atik tells Prevention.com that a Twitter user let her know the book was encouraging her to try online dating, something she swore she'd never do. "Dating sort of gets a bad rap in media and books and it makes sense," says Atik. "Dating is frustrating. But putting an effort into your dating life can be fun." (Read up on three online dating rules you need to know.)

The first step it takes to make that happen? Arm yourself with different dating advice. Sure, waiting by the phone for a guy to call was once protocol, but not anymore. To better help you navigate modern dating, Atik debunks dated, er, dating advice—and what to do instead.

Then: Don't eat in front of your date.
Now:  Bring on the burger. 

"The most popular dates on HowAboutWe involve restaurants, and I think food is sexy,” says Atik. "Men want a woman they can order and share a meal with, not watch them eat a salad with dressing on the side."

Then: Never call a guy first—let him call you.
Now: Take the initiative.

"Women give guys a little too much credit in terms of being forward and not being afraid of rejection, but the truth is guys can be terrified of approaching women," says Atik. "You just need to take matters into your own hands and feel free to call them." However, communication can and should be equal. It can't be all you, just as it shouldn't be all him, adds Atik. 

Then: It'll happen when you least expect it.
Now: Be proactive.

"You can't not put yourself out there and meet new people, hoping someday you and a guy will be in a bookstore, reaching for the same copy of Anna Karenina. That's for the movies," says Atik. "What you can do is put yourself in situations where it's more likely to happen, like signing up for a dating site or going to that party you don't really want to." (Cautious? Here's how to show your brave.)

Then: Wear red.
Now: Wear confidence.

"I don't think the color you wear can predict romantic future," says Atik. "Studies do show that red garners more attention but that only gets you so far. I think the better advice is to dress in something you feel really confident and amazing in, whatever that may be."

Then: Don't bring up marriage, kids, politics or money.
Now: There are no taboo topics.

"There's nothing sexier than an informed debate, or meeting of the minds, about religion or current affairs," says Atik. "Instead of never talking about a person's deep-seeded convictions, I'd just tread with caution. Read your date's signals. If they seem like they're into it, certainly don’t avoid it. But if they're like uh, then back away. Ask about movies."

With as much advice as Atik gives, is there a favorite piece of advice she was given? "The One-Date rule," she says. "Anyone that really wants to go out with me, who has worked up the nerve to ask me out deserves at least 30 minutes of my time. If I don't want to go out with them again, I don't have to but this way I know and give people a chance."

More from Prevention: How To Flirt Like A Pro

Published May 2013, Prevention | Updated May 2013