10 Things You'll See in Every Jason Statham Movie

He will wear a suit.

Notable examples: The Transporter, Crank, Safe, Parker, War

Like the stubble, the idea of JS cannot be realized without a suit. The boat must not rock. There will be suits, and they will be black. This is most notable in the Transporter series, where Statham appears in basically the same get-up across all three installments.

Dear a Talented Video Artist,

Please make a film that splices together scenes of Statham in a suit hurting people in such a way that it's impossible for viewers to tell which film they're watching. Then slow it down so that it lasts 24 hours. That's how you know it's art.

ps—Call it "Crank That Statham-man."


blog comments powered by Disqus