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[–]gingermafia 2 points3 points  (0 children)


She wants positive attention from you and may not realize what a downer she is being. You could try a couple of approaches or combinations thereof: 1.) Bringing up to her that it seems like she is feeling very negative about life and you want to make an effort together to see things positively. Note that this is not simply "you are bringing me down" but more of a "how can we try to see things positively together?" When she is complaining ask her what GOOD things happened to her today. 2.) Show her affection when she is positive. I know you said you show her affection, so if you are already doing things like "Thinking about you, hope you have a great day!" then I am not sure what else to suggest in that department. 3.) Stop humoring her when she is really negative all the time. Her friend being a bitch? Tell her she should get new friends, move on. She's not feeling good? Tell her to see her primary care provider, move on. I'm not sure how well this approach will go- basically its a no tolerance policy towards whining if she has problems that she complains about constantly but won't do anything to fix. Again, not sure how applicable that is to your situation and honestly it could push her away.

Long distance is hard (3 Years LDR myself) and I have to make a real effort to balance negatives and positives when talking with my SO. We text all the time, basically have an on-going conversation all day. There are times when the only things of note that happen to me are bad things so that is what I have to talk about, BUT I try to recognize that no one wants to talk with a Negative Nancy. Sounds like your SO is not very self aware.