Dogs Only Sniff You for Your Own Good

Diet drug failure! Dogs sniff cancer! Tonsil weight gain! Fantasy camp aging! Workouts destroy marriage! HIV teen pregnancy! Nevada hates children! And table saws kill! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health.

  • Nice scientists went to all the trouble of inventing a new diet drug called Contrave and now the FDA comes in at the very end after everything is done and says no, you can't sell that, it might kill people. How would the FDA feel if its own mother were fat?
  • Dogs are able to sniff out colon cancer. Hmm, are you sure the dog is not actually sniffing colon poop?
  • New research says that kids gain weight after having their tonsils removed. Duh, because of ice cream. Their parents give them ice cream after that. I don't know if the ice cream is covered in the research or not.
  • Here's a story about guys who go to baseball fantasy camp but eventually get so old that they can't even play baseball on a fantasy camp level and then they have to stop going to baseball fantasy camp. That'll never be us, we'll be young forever and ever.
  • Some people have trouble in their marriages because one person is always working out all the time and the other person feels neglected. Why can't these "other persons" be a little more hardcore?
  • Teens who have HIV also have higher pregnancy rates. That's unfortunate.
  • Which state has the worst child healthcare in the nation? Drumroll's Nevada! They also have diseased child can-can dancers playing those drumrolls.
  • The Consumer Product Safety Commission would like to stop debilitating table saw injuries. Nice of them.

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