Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with mom Questions tagged with 'mom' at Ask MetaFilter. Tue, 08 Jul 2014 10:34:31 -0800 Tue, 08 Jul 2014 10:34:31 -0800 en-us 60 Setting healthy boundary with my highly functioning alcoholic mom My mom leaves far away. In another country. I speak everyday with her on the phone for 20 min. She is everyday drunk. I know by her voice. When she drinks and when she doesn't. However, alcohol did not affect her career, money, even she is still married to my dad- although not the best marriage, I still believe they get along well. She is very caring with me, helped me a lot financially. However it hurts me knowing that she is drunk and she is slowly killing herself. I need to set up boundry. I do not want a boundary where I call her in the morning when she is not drunk because that would be just covering a pain. I want a boundary where I still call her the same time. What would be a healthy boundary? Like I said she is not hurting me I just can't talk to her and see her like she is destroying herself. Please help me,2014:site.264812 Tue, 08 Jul 2014 10:34:31 -0800 barexamfreak How do I get to know my parents as people? After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? This may be morbid and I hope not bad luck or superstition but I truly don't know who my parents are. They are still in their early 60s so I have time but it's quickly depleting. I've never had an exceptionally close relationship to them and it's only been in the past 5 years that I've let go alot of the anger I held for them due to an almost deadly cancer experience in my childhood during prime development phase (ages 9-13). I realize that I blamed them for alot that was beyond their control and held onto anger that wasn't justifiably towards them. So overall, I was a pretty shitty son for more then a few years. I've apologized for that and I do believe that they have forgiven me but I would still like to make up for lost time and get to know them as people. I will admit that the relationship still isn't perfect, they still annoy me given long streches, my mom's hippieish meets conservative christian attitude on social issues angers me, and my dad's silent except when anxious deamonor still frustrates me (and the fact that he asks for IT advice then does the exact opposite...) but they are my parents and I do truly love them and respect what they went through raising 3 kids.<br> <br> The only problem is I don't actually know how to do this, I know the base and major events in their life but I don't know the small things that make up the majority of life. They are coming out for two weeks in a month and I would really like to spend some quality time with them rather then the normal, get drunk and tolerate each other while having scratched the surface meaningful conversation. So how do I make up for lost time and get to parents better? If not alive, what do you wish you would have done when your parents were alive?,2014:site.259313 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:07:27 -0800 lpcxa0 Help me introduce my 72 year old mother to the Internet I bought my Mom a computer for Christmas and I'm heading down to see her this weekend to orient her to the online world. I'd like to ask for resources and advice that might help me in this project. What exactly should I teach her? <br> <br> First off, I'd like to teach her the nuts and bolts of actually using the internet. I mean, on a real basic level. This is a mouse. This, on the screen, is the cursor. You move the cursor with the mouse, etc. What are the skills to impart at her level of experience? Are there any online tutorials that she could use in my absence? <br> <br> Secondly, what advice would you give to someone who is new to Internet culture? I intend to set up an anonymous account for her on a webmail service and to advise her to be wary of sharing too much information or posting under her real name. What else would you advise her? My Mom is very sensitive and I worry a little about how she would react to the sections of the web that are . . . not very sensitive. <br> <br> And in closing, what are some websites I can show her that relate to her interests? Some of her interests are:<br> <br> --antiques<br> --genealogy (I have set up an account for her. That much is covered.)<br> --current events<br> --her book club<br> --the British Royal Family<br> <br> Any help you can render me would be deeply appreciated. Many thanks in advance!,2014:site.255319 Tue, 14 Jan 2014 18:30:14 -0800 jason's_planet Help me with a Spanish Christmas present for my mom VERY FAST! I need to get a Christmas present for my mom (I KNOW HOW LITTLE TIME THERE IS LEFT, THANK YOU!). I'd really like it to be related to our recent trip to Spain, ideally somehow either to the flamenco dancer Adrian Sanchez or to the Cortylandia display in Madrid. Any ideas welcome! My mom and I just got back from Spain and had a great time and now I have to get her Christmas present and I am way behind. <br> <br> My first choice present to her would be an autographed picture of Adrian Sanchez; I've used the contact form on his website but haven't heard back yet (I wrote in English so he may assume I'm spam but I don't want to harass him).<br> <br> Alternatively, I loved and she hated the Cortylandia display in Madrid and we had a really good time watching all of the kids gaze in awe at the bears. Since the trip, she and I have both become mildly obsessed with Cortylandia.<br> <br> Is there anything I can get her directly related to either of these? I'd be willing to pay a fair amount in shipping to get it here on time. I'd really prefer it be specifically related to one of these things, and not just a teddy bear I label "Cortylandia" or anything.<br> <br> Thank you so much for any help you can give me!,2013:site.253961 Thu, 19 Dec 2013 06:58:54 -0800 Mrs. Pterodactyl Tell me about your experience buying an iPad for an elderly person My mom, who recently sold her home and moved into senior housing, has expressed interest in owning some sort of computing device. She's basically computer illiterate, has never been on the internet, and has trouble using my TV remote control sometimes. Am I crazy to even consider getting her an iPad? She's smart enough and sharp for an 81 year-old. She's figured out her cell phone enough to make and answer calls and she even took a photo and sent it once. So there's hope. But things like swiping the wrong way and accidentally opening the notification center might confuse her. <br> <br> She's interested because her housing unit uses email and/or web for a lot of communications and of course family and friends do as well. I don't imagine she'd have much use for Facebook or Twitter but who knows. I really don't want her friending me on Facebook.<br> <br> I'm also seeing it as a way to send her photos. I think I can set up a photo stream for her.<br> <br> Immediate uses would probably be email, photos, the camera, maybe weather.<br> <br> <strong>Questions:</strong><br> <br> 1) In your experience, is an iPad something an older, not-very-technical person would be able to use? Would they even find it useful?<br> <br> 2) What are some best practices for setting it up, other than hiding icons she might not need or use?<br> <br> 3) What are some things to look out for? Pitfalls? <br> <br> 4) Any other tips? <br> <br> 5) Is this just a bad idea?<br> <br> 6) What am I forgetting to ask? I realize this if a vague, open-ended question.<br> <br> Complication: She doesn't currently have internet access and all the WiFi access points I see from her apartment are locked. She'd need to pay for access, which means I'd probably pay for the first few months.<br> <br> My son would probably be able to answer most of her questions. I can set it up for her initially but when it comes to guiding her along I have all the patience of an over-caffeinated Tasmanian Devil in line at the DMV.<br> <br> I think I'm only considering an iPad. We're an Apple household and my son has an iPad mini and would be able to help her out. I like the idea that if she gets stuck she pushes the home button and she's back at the main menu. If there is an argument to be made for another make/model tablet that would be better suited to an elderly person, I'm willing to listen. I generally like and trust Apple products though and think they are worth the premium.,2013:site.252981 Mon, 02 Dec 2013 12:29:14 -0800 bondcliff gift heirloom mom Can Mefi help me find a gift that would become an heirloom later on? Details inside... I want to buy my mom a gift. No reason, no occasion. I have a sister and a niece too. I am looking for a gift that my mom would enjoy today and something that will be passed on to my sister, then my niece. I come from a patriarchal culture and I would like this heirloom to stay within the female bloodline. I'm looking for something suitably grand. I've been saving up for this for a while now and I can afford about $2000.,2013:site.252223 Tue, 19 Nov 2013 11:29:53 -0800 Anonymous What assistance is available for a single mom in a difficult situation? I have a good friend who has gone through a very rough 16 year marriage/divorce - experiencing both verbal and physical abuse. She currently has four children living with her, 3 of them are under the age of 18, 1 is 19, and 1 infant grandchild. As a friend I would like to provide all the help and information that can be offered. But I have no idea were to start... She resides in Arizona - she has a minimum wage job and works around 30 hours a week. Her 17 year old son works part time at a fast food place. (Her ex-husband does not pay any child support). She said that she checked on housing assistance but that there was a one year waiting list (I have a feeling she really has not checked). And advice or links will be greatly appreciated...,2013:site.249470 Tue, 01 Oct 2013 10:02:21 -0800 strongdad So my son wants to enlist... So my bright, handsome hs senior son wants to enlist in the Marines. I am wrestling with a few things. He has always wanted to join the military so this was not unexpected. What is unexpected is 1) he always wanted to join the Army 2) he always wanted to do ROTC. Now he has been online with some military forums and he has decided he really wants to be on the ground doing engineering stuff (he’s thinking electrical engineering). He’s met with the recruiter, we’ve met with the recruiter and all sounds good. But I am having a hard time as a mom getting over the change of plan, enlisted vs officer, also the Marines vs any other military branch. I think of Marines as the branch that takes the biggest brunt of foreign involvement - as in really dangerous. I am also concerned about his idea (or whatever) that he wants to serve the “real” (his words not mine) way. He doesn’t want some desk job as an officer in the Army which I guess is a real possibility. I was under the impression that moving from enlisted to officer is hard and not guaranteed. However talking to the recruiter it seems like a real possibility. How do I know the recruiter is telling us the truth? If you’ve got any insight to the Marines, I’d much appreciate it. I'd add I don't know any current Marines although we do know a bunch of (my age) guys from other branches. I'd really like him to go to college and just do reserves but the recruiter made it seem likes its hard for him to move from reserve to active after college and the best way is to go active and move to reserve. Also OCS would be harder to get in (almost impossible) as reserve Marine. <br> <br> I am not asking for any political comment or about US policy - I am just a parent with a kid who wants to join up. Also we will support whatever his decision is - I just want to understand how it works.,2013:site.245881 Fri, 02 Aug 2013 08:32:58 -0800 lasamana i am a terrible human being Yesterday was mothers day. I sent her a card/flowers and called. I completely forgot about both of my grandmothers who are the most wonderful loving caring people. Argh, I feel terrible. what should i do? if you were them, what would you want? send a card and call? thanks.,2013:site.240889 Mon, 13 May 2013 10:01:08 -0800 seesom Hoarders: Crazy cat lady edition! Mom is a hoarder; house is making her sick. Adult children worried about her and grossed out. What can we do or say to her that might help? Snowflakes inside... Tl;dr: What, if anything, can be done or said to reign this situation in? My mom started out normal, but as our parents' marriage deteriorted she quit cleaning. When my dad moved out she quit cooking, and sometime during my college years she became a full-on hoarder... complete with a couple cats and litter trays that are NEVER cleaned, etc. She watches Hoarders and gleefully exclaims "At least I'm not that bad! Yay!"... and she's right, but the margin is getting narrower and narrower. What she needs is a psychologist, but she IS a psychologist. She is also pretty broke (a blizzard unto itself).<br> <br> I live overseas, and we're planning on having our first child next year. I can't imagine taking a small child there. I'm not super fussy - we like camping, hiking, gardening - we get muddy. My house does not look like Martha's; but there is also not dried up cat vomit/poop all over the floor, layers of dust and grime, mold, peeling paint, rising damp (the house is <em>falling apart</em>), etc.... not to mention that the hosue is literally filled with "stuff" - furniture stacked on furniture and covered with knick-knacks and trash; let no surface be uncluttered! <br> <br> My brother lives a 5-hour drive away. My sister currently lives in the in-law unit attached to my mom's. She emailed me saying that this winter (they live in a very mild climate - so we're not talking snow or anything) mom's had one cold/flu episode after another, and each one drags on for weeks. I've noticed this in her emails to me as well. Mom says it's because she works with kids... but so does my sister. Of course, mom's in her early 60's and sister is in her mid-twenties. Mom could have some sort of undiagnosed medical issue compromising her immune system, or just be showing signs of getting older... but sis thinks it's the house.<br> <br> Regardless, living in Gross House isn't helping her health, squicks her kids out, and is going to prevent her grandchildren being allowed at her house (I already won't stay there when I visit home, even when it's just me! I stay with an aunt!). To top it off, the house she's letting fall apart was built by our great grandfather (on Dad's side) = sad; and she intends to leave it to us = EW. My mom's side lives a long time - she could easily spend another 20-30 years mucking up that house, and leaving a bigger and bigger disaster behind. Besides, of course, watching a nice little old lady who's your mom live in squalor just sucks.<br> <br> Any ideas how to reign this situation in? What works/doesn't work?,2013:site.236020 Mon, 25 Feb 2013 15:16:02 -0800 jrobin276 Recurring dream I keep having the same dream over and over. Has anyone else had this? So it's 6am and I am laying in bed after what seems like my millionth dream about my mom, who passed away a little over a year ago. A few months after she died I would have basically the same dream every night for weeks--she was always alive in these dreams, and although I knew she was dead it was almost like she had been given some more time but I knew she'd have to "go back" soon. Sometimes she looked well, but most of the time she was frail like she was at the end. I figured these dreams were my subconscious way of dealing with her loss. I entered grief therapy shortly after and the dreams slowly faded.<br> <br> Now over a year later they're back, and so frequent I can't even keep track. It feels like one a night for going on weeks now. The setting is usually my childhood home, and sometimes my mom talks to me in these dreams...tonight she said she was feeling better and was trying to regain her strength. A few weeks ago she told me she could see me from heaven.<br> <br> I guess I don't know what my question really is...I don't mind the dreams but some part of me feels like there's something I need to address that I am missing completely. I also wonder if anyone else has had this experience. Thank you.,2013:site.235312 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 03:07:19 -0800 thank you silence Good gift ideas for new moms? What are some good Birthday gift ideas for new mothers.... ... that are NOT baby-focussed? (I'm sure my friend has plenty of new for-baby stuff recently already!)<br> Looking in the $20-$50 range....<br> <br> hip/stylish is good<br> gadgety is good<br> foody is good<br> eco-friendly/new agey is also good!<br> <br> it's her first kid, if that helps...<br> <br> thanks for any ideas!,2013:site.233397 Thu, 17 Jan 2013 17:47:01 -0800 Bwithh How to help a parent cope with the loss of a spouse? I lost my dear dad unexpectedly Sunday after a series of illnesses. My mom, luckily, is still with us. They were together 54 years and my mom was only 17 when they met. The most important thing to my dad was my mom's well-being and I feel it is now my duty to look after her to the best of my ability. I have no idea how to help her cope with the loss of my father. I want to be there for her as much as possible, but I don't want to smother her. Does anyone have any advice?,2012:site.229496 Fri, 23 Nov 2012 07:58:11 -0800 entropicamericana I could just kidnap her... It's my mom's 75th birthday and I have a great gift planned. Help me figure out how to present it! My mom is turning 75 in December. My gift to her will be a trip anywhere in the world she wants to go. I am trying to think of a good way to present this gift to her. <br> <br> My mom was a housewife and raised a bunch of kids throughout the 60s, 70s, and 80s. She was raised Catholic so she had the kind of life that was expected of her but she always has had a little independent streak. She got involved in politics and served on the town council, likes to write witty letters to the editor, and stuff like that. <br> <br> I know that she like to travel but she doesn't do it much anymore because my dad refuses to fly and he also has pain in his legs so he doesn't like to walk around much. So, I had the idea to offer to take her on a trip, just the two of us. <br> <br> The icing on the cake was when I talked to her on my birthday and she admitted that I lived the kind of life that she had always wanted to live (on my own terms, in her words). She doesn't talk like that normally, so it was very touching. <br> <br> Gift-wise I did something similar for her 70th where I got her an introductory flight at a flight school, because she had always wanted to learn to fly. I think I just put the certificate in a box. I want to come up with a really great way to present this gift. I thought of printing out a fake ticket and putting in one of those ticket sleeves you get at the airport. Or maybe buy her a travel toiletry bag and put the ticket inside it. <br> <br> For extra credit, Mom has a tradition of presenting intangible gifts (gift cards or things that haven't arrived yet) with a short poem. She spends alot of time writing these little poems. I could use some help with that.,2012:site.228618 Sat, 10 Nov 2012 20:25:20 -0800 cabingirl Help me tell daughter Santa Claus truth Help me tell 8 year old the truth about Santa Last year, my 7 year old daughter asked me if Santa was real? I panicked and said yes. She said some kids at school said he isn't real but I said, "Well, where do those presents come from then? I believe in Santa."<br> <br> The part of me that panicked and said that was the part that has been telling her about Santa since she was a toddler, and I always tell her that Mommy tells the truth, you can always trust Mommy, etc. So now, if I tell her otherwise, I don't know how she is going to believe that I tell the truth and she can trust me.<br> <br> How can I word it so she can understand why I did it, and why I am coming clean now, but that all the rest of what I tell her is the truth. Trust is a big issue with her and I.<br> <br> I know the third graders are going to say it again this year and I want to be ready.,2012:site.225688 Sun, 30 Sep 2012 23:39:06 -0800 lynnie-the-pooh So. Assuming we can't reanimate Rod Serling and invite him over. What should I get my mom for her birthday? My mom's birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and for the first time in my life, I actually have some money (let's say no more than a hundred bucks) to spend on getting her something cool. <br> <br> Complications: she's very busy and stressed, I live 1000+ miles away from her, she actively dislikes all the "obvious" things. She's also got breast cancer (diagnosed this summer super-mild form, needs radiation but not chemo) and is being <em>extremely</em> secretive about it. She's still working full time (teacher) while going back and forth to her doctor, so I know she's exhausted, but she won't tell anyone because she doesn't want any special treatment or sympathy. <br> <br> Things I know she will NOT like:<br> <br> -any sort of spa treatments or massage<br> -hiring a maid service (my dad takes care of all the housework anyway)<br> -"experience" things that would drain her time and energy<br> -gift cards of any kind<br> -motivational crap<br> -a party<br> <br> <br> Things she likes but does NOT need (i.e. adding more to the pile of unused stuff at this point will just stress her out more):<br> <br> -relaxing bath products<br> -clothing<br> -kitchen accessories<br> <br> <br> Things I know that she DOES like, but I don't know how to frame a gift around it:<br> <br> -sci fi/thriller stuff, even if it's campy (she LOVES MST3K, Twilight Zone, Hitchcock...)<br> -looking for deals online (she's an Amazon Prime junkie) even if she doesn't buy anything<br> -vegging in front of the computer (I don't know what she does aside from the shopping, but I know that when I was a kid she was obsessed with that Myst game, but then our computer crashed and her progress got lost and even though she brings it up all the time she's never gone back to it) She's not really computer literate, though. <br> -playing with her iPad (she's got a first generation or whatever you call it)<br> -her book club (we have very different tastes in books, and even so, she doesn't have time to read anything other than her club-assigned books)<br> <br> <br> Cliff's notes:<br> -busy<br> -stressed<br> -tired<br> -not into "girly" things<br> -likes geeky stuff<br> -doesn't have a whole lot of time to devote to learning something new<br> <br> <br> So...are any of you like that? Or know someone like that? What would you like for a birthday present?<br> <br> Thanks!,2012:site.225015 Fri, 21 Sep 2012 08:50:53 -0800 Anonymous Men: How was your mom awesome during your teen years? Men: how was your mom awesome during your teenage years? For all the guys out there...those of you who look back on your teenage years and have an overall impression of having had a great relationship with your mom, tell me what particular qualities contributed to this--both her individual qualities and the unique quality of your way of relating to each other. What kind of things helped you stay close through the natural process of individuation and becoming a man? (I'd like to steer clear of the negative version of this, "my mom was so awful because ....."). I know that teenage years are difficult for both genders and that many problems are universal, but I'm particularly interested in the specific issues guys have, from the perspective of being an opposite-gendered parent. I'm looking for things beyond just the obvious generalities like having respect for you as a person, ability to set limits but also negotiate things on a situation by situation basis, appropriate boundaries, privacy, trust, etc. that I consider baseline level good mom-ness. <br> <br> If it matters: No significant family drama/trauma, and still happily married to his father. Things are great, just interested in doing all I can to keep it that way. <br> <br> Yes, I've read it: Michael Gurian's <a href="">The Mind of Boys</a> and <a href="">The Wonder of Boys</a>; <a href="">Raising Cain: protecting the emotional life of boys</a>,<a href=""><a href=""> <a href="">Real Boys, rescuing our sons from the myths of boyhood</a></a></a>,2012:site.223357 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 11:28:04 -0800 SinAesthetic How do I be a great SAHM for my baby? Can you give me your best tips, tricks, and general guidance for being a stay-at-home mom of an older baby? As of next week I will be caring for our 8 month old by myself full time, and I'm scared! Whem we decided to have a baby it was expressly part of our plan that I not stay home with him - we planned for my wife to be home while I worked, and sort of amazingly, we have both been at home since he was born. However, various factors mean that I'll be the one caring for him in the daytime for the foreseeable future while my wife works full time. This really is the only way to do it right now. In a few months I'll be in school two days a week and my mom will have him those days.<br> <br> I love this kid like crazy, but I am a lazy person who does better with a lot of personal space, grown up conversation, and time to think. I get frustrated and overwhelmed more than I would like. I think i am also having some mild PPD which is making me anxious and quicker to feel hopeless, i am trying to exercise and eat well. Please trust me that meds or therapy are out for now. He is a super smart and physical 8 month old who is close to walking and gets bored and whiny easily. He is only happy in a stroller for about 25mins before he has to be carried, and he doesn't nap for long if someone (and their boob) doesn't stay by him.<br> <br> We are currently at a relative's house that is very messy and not at all safe for him, and I can't turn my back for a second, but we're moving in the next couple of weeks - am I right to think that this wil be easier in a clean and tidy environment I can control? Please tell me about how you handle(d) this -especially practically. Talk to me like it's my induction at a new job. How do you manage to brush your teeth (seriously)? Where do you go? What do you do? How do you handle bad days? What do I need to know? What gadgets or equpment have saved your sanity? FYI, we are in a big city (London) with no car. <br> <br> Thanks! I want to make this unexpected role as awesome for all of us as I can, and I think it's going to be the hardest thing I ever do .,2012:site.221336 Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:23:33 -0800 crabintheocean Overwhelmed Mom Trying to Write a Dissertation. How can I write my dissertation as a mom of a young child with so much on my plate? How can I prioritize over the next year to GET IT DONE? I am a PhD candidate in the humanities. I love my topic, and I have a great supervisor. I am not teaching this year. I have nine months to write my dissertation before my defense date, which is set for May 2013. My daughter will be in school part-time in the fall, and I will have twenty hours a week in which to research and write my dissertation. My husband is incredibly supportive, but he works long hours, often getting home after 9:00. I find myself overwhelmed with childcare, cooking, cleaning, and laundry. How can I find the time I need to research and write and still do all the other things I have to do? When I explain my struggle to friends and family, they say just let everything else go completely, but the advice is not at all practical. I have to clean the house, cook the meals, do the laundry, run the errands, and take care of my daughter. I also need to find time to exercise and sleep. How can I free up time and energy to write? We can't afford childcare, and we don't have family close enough to help. Do I use prepared meals? Clean once a week? Not exercise? Stay up late at night to write until 12:00? Take Sunday off to spend time with family or write all weekend? I am looking for advice from those who have been there. What is it going to take?,2012:site.221333 Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:19:43 -0800 white_magnolia What recipe is my mom trying to make? Mountains of sugar and fruit in glass jars in the pantry: What the heck is my mother making? The recipe as far as I can decipher:<br> <br> <blockquote>Ingredients:<br> <br> 1. Gallon-sized glass jar w/lid<br> 2. Pounds of brown sugar<br> 3. Assorted soft fruits<br> <br> Stored in a dark pantry, checked and mixed daily.</blockquote><br> <br> What is this going to end up as? She said it isn't alcohol and as long as there's enough sugar it won't turn into vinegar... sooo... what on earth is she trying to make? Anyone have any idea? Is this being done correctly? I feel like there's going to be a giant messy explosion of diabetic proportions about to occur out of one of these jars. Anyone?,2012:site.219879 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 18:51:26 -0800 french films about trains keep me away from this crazy My boyfriend's mother despises me and I feel the same towards her. She made some threats against me to my boyfriend that wass completely out of line. I want to be estranged from her, but my boyfriend doesn't want to. Help me navigate through this. She and I butted heads since the very beginning, but threatening to "beat me up" the next time she sees me is the last straw. I don't want to make nice wiith this woman but to keep her out of my life because in addition to making threats, she's been a constant source of arguments between my boyfriend and I. However, my boyfriend does not want to be estranged from her himself despite doing a wonderful job defending and sticking up to me to his folks. That is fine, but now I don't know how to navigate through this with just one of us being estrangged from his mother. To make this worse, he has to live with his parents for three more months so he will have to put up with her. How do I keep my cool and stop arguing with him about his mom?,2012:site.217231 Thu, 07 Jun 2012 10:52:52 -0800 squirtle Please help me keep grandma in L.A. My mother is 60, has 40k cash on hand, but she has no income. Can you help me brainstorm businesses that she could buy or launch for about 30K (so she can live on the remaining 10K)? My mom has spent the past 30 years or so as a real estate agent, but the market has not been kind to her. She happens to have a fairly decent amount of cash on hand leftover from the sale of her home, and I'm trying to help her come up with ideas for what she can do next in her life. This feels rather urgent because she estimates that she will only have 20K left by November, at which point she believes she will have to move to Israel where she has a better support system (in the form of siblings and gov't aid).<br> <br> That would be really fucking awful because my first baby is due in November, and I really need her around for emotional support. And baby will need grandma because grandma's super awesome.<br> <br> Okay, so here are her skills: great with people; fluent in English, Spanish, French &amp; Hebrew; fantastic cook; she lives in Los Angeles and has a lot of very loyal friends (one of whom is letting her live in an extra home rent free); she is a few credits shy of a degree, but I think she'd make a terrific teacher.<br> <br> However: she is 60 and her knee really aches sometimes, so I can't see her really able to do all the labor required for launching a catering business, for example. She is divorced so she doesn't have spousal support... <br> <br> Anyway, this whole situation is making me feel like a shitty daughter for not having enough money to be able to take care of her. I figured the least I could do was come up with some ideas. And yet I'm stuck! <br> <br> Are there franchises she could purchase with that much money? That's an idea my sister and I have started looking into, but it seems like the best ones (i.e. Subway) cost around 100K.,2012:site.216544 Tue, 29 May 2012 16:05:01 -0800 ohyouknow I've wondered where home is. It's when I was in Indianapolis when I was nine years old. Had a dog, a cat, a brother, a sister. <a href="">Inspired by this thread</a>, from which I got Dan Mangan's <a href="">Basket</a>, and Chocolate Genius' <a href="">My Mom.</a> I'm composing a playlist as a mediation on my parents, and I wondered what other songs others thought of when they thought of Mom and Dad.,2012:site.216331 Sat, 26 May 2012 15:16:46 -0800 oflinkey New mom food delivery with a delay factor. How long after having a baby would food delivery be appreciated? My friend is having a baby and I really want to bring over lasagnas, soups, or [your new mom suggestions inserted here]. I love making food, I love my friend, and I would love to have a summer "project". But, I don't get back to our mutual town until 6-8 weeks after baby appears.<br> <br> I don't want my friend just to be humoring me. She is a high powered Dr., used to sleep deprivation and is extremely competent in all areas. <br> <br> Would bringing her food (if she seemed to appreciate it after first attempt) after 2mths be weird? I don't have kids obviously. Would the 1.5-4mth zone still be a time when she might want/need help in this area?,2012:site.214591 Sat, 05 May 2012 07:37:41 -0800 bquarters comfort from a distance My mom is having foot surgery and she won't be able to touch her foot to ground for 6 weeks. She lives alone and I live across the country. What can I mail to her or order for her that would make her life during recovery easy and comfy? ps- she does not like to cook,2012:site.214561 Fri, 04 May 2012 14:25:22 -0800 Jason and Laszlo