Hey! I've kinda got a dilemma. My parents don't know I'm an atheist. Well, my mom kinda does, but she's in denial and thinks that I'm going through a phase. Anyway, they want me to get confirmed, and are going to make go to the classes and stuff. As I obviously don't wish to be confirmed, I'm going to have to eventually tell them so. I'm not sure how they and my family might react. They're not really strict Christians or anything (they're Episcopalian) and they're open minded people, but considering they go to church and have been confirmed themselves, and my Chinese grandparents are big on Christianity, too, I just feel really insecure.

How do I break this kind of news? I'm probably going to tell my mom I don't want to get confirmed while alone together in the car, or something, but how should I bring up the topic without just saying "I don't want to be confirmed" out right. I'm not that type of person.

I'd really appreciate any advice that you could give me! 

Tags: advice, atheist, confirmation, dilemma, teenager

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Got any friends who were recently confirmed or chose not to confirm? You could probably use their story as a segue.
I'm an atheist who got confirmed. I did it before i told my parents. but i didn't really care then, I do now and when I'm 18 i will have my name removed for their register. I did it to keep my parents happy and ignorant until I wanted to till them I'm an atheist. If you tell your parents before you get confirmed that you're an atheist then don't get confirmed, but if you want to tell them on your own time get confirmed then tell them when you wish.

Decide how much this ceremony will affect your life afterwards and how much of an effect refusing it will have on your relationship with your family. If your parents are easy going it may be easier for everyone if they know now. If they aren't then it may be better to just go along with it, as slimy as that might feel in the short term.
Tina we atheist completely understand what your going through and support you but as an atheist think of it this way, the ritual is meaningless to all of us atheist so if you mus tdo it to keep your relationship with your family intact then do it! It means nothing and you wont be physically harmed in the process so no harm no foul. I went through with something similar to this and I survived lol. so no big deal. In your heart your an atheist like us and thats what matters. Make your family happy and do their silly meaningless ritual then you can tell god to go to hell........
I have no idea if this is present in your country but you can do a "Humanistic(or w/e) confirmation" instead like me and many others have, basicly you discuss the value of human life in the classes and move on for gifts after a short ceremony for the sake of old people and family(often the same)
Hmmmmm ...

I'm not sure how much my own experience would be useful to you. I was sort of in the same situation, only with Catholicism. When I was 14, I complained about having to go to CCD (like Sunday school), and my mother said I had to keep going until I made my Confirmation. I just kind of blurted out that I didn't believe in God and I had no intention of making my Confirmation.

I guess I'm not the sort for subtleties. I always just find it easier to wait until the person says anything related to the subject I need to unload about, then drop the bomb. Just say it outright and explain as they ask questions about what you mean. One sentence, out of the blue, then deal with what comes after that.

The biggest thing I'd worry about is social repercussions from clashes over your parents' religion. Some parents are REALLY psycho religious, and I'd literally be worried for the person's life, if they came out of the closet as an atheist. If they're really laid back about it, then you should be okay with whatever.
"until I am totally sure of my convictions, I want to wait to have my confirmation."
This should help with parents. 

Keep questioning everything. 


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