Every test subject in Aperture Science - well, every test subject in Aperture Science that was alive after centuries and disasters - gathered into GLaDOS's chassis chamber. GLaDOS herself was guarded by glass walls, so that no one would try and kill her, and no one tried because everyone knew of deadly neurotoxin.

"As you know, several months ago Aperture Laboratories were accepted into the nation of Panem as District 14, focused on artificial intelligence. Such as me, Blue, Orange, and especially that little moron. And, as is demanded for every of the districts of Panem, today is the Reaping Day for the 82nd annual Hunger Games. Twenty-nine years without Games removed."

The chatter became silent as GLaDOS interspersed her speech with unknown terms.

"Something about the Capitol ruling over twelve districts, almost annihilating the thirteenth and with no mention of the fourteenth, and imposing their rule with a tournament with two tributes from each district, one male and one female, originally ages 12 to 18 but that rule was discarded with the third Quarter Quell, to compete to death until a lone victor remains."

"Excuse me, Quarter Quell?"

"When the number of the Games is divisible by 25, and the Capitol introduces a new theme. Anyways, the whole Hunger Games story has no mention of me or Aperture so it's boring. And one additional note: no robots in the Hunger Games. Robots can't truly die anyway. Blue and Orange helped me figure that out. Anyway, let the reaping begin."

Two balls full with name cards were revealed where the Stalemate Resolution Button was usually held. Like when "that little moron" ruled over, there was a grate wall, and no one was allowed to take the portal devices with them, and there was no other artificial intelligence to replace GLaDOS, and she wasn't corrupted anyway.

"As usual with these miserable districts, we'll get to know the female tribute first."

A robotic claw picked up one of the cards from one of the bowls, a security camera observed the name on the card, and the voice announced it.

"Chell... redacted. Yeah. There's no surname in the surname field. Chell Redacted. Step into the escape lift now."

A certain dangerous mute lunatic slowly walked towards the glass cage in GLaDOS's room.

"Look, lunatic, if not for that moron, you would be dead already, so face your death right now."

Chell started walking slightly faster, and reached the lift. Its glass door closed.

"And for the male tribute."

GLaDOS repeated the process, and noticed something in the miserable humans. Something called fear.

"Additional data collected."

"Very funny, announcer, but our male tribute isn't called "Additional Data Collected." Step up..."

Miserable humans.

"Doug Rattmann."

As Doug reached the lift, GLaDOS opened it for a split second so Chell wouldn't walk out. The lift's door closed again, and the lift itself rose slightly enough to hurt to death if fallen, but not enough to leave the chamber.

"Let's have a round of applause for our tributes for the 82nd annual Hunger Games, Chell Redacted and Doug Rattmann!"


"I'll pump deadly neurotoxin into the room if you don't clap."

Still no one clapping.

"Okay, fine, I'll clap myself."

Several claps echoed throughout the room.

"Anyone would like to tell our tributes several last words before they leave to their death? Hold on, receiving a signal from the Moon's orbit."

GLaDOS's screen flickered, then showed a very familiar blue eye.

"You're here! You're bloody here! I've heard about this Hunger Games you're organizing, and would very like to say your-"

Wheatley's companion in space showed up.

"It's Earth! Wanna go to Earth wanna go to Earth wanna go to Earth..."

"Ahem. Where I was? I wanted to say your Chell tribute, finally figured out the last subject's name, that I'm deeply sorry for her. I was bossy and monstrous..."

"...and would have destroyed the facility if it wasn't for her and my cooperation..." GLaDOS inserted herself to Wheatley's message.

"...and would have... okay, that's too long. And I'm genuinely sorry. End of message."

"And I thought I'd never see him again. Anyone else?"


"Very well. Have another round of applauses for Chell Redacted and Doug Rattmann!"

The lift rose slightly more to the chamber of the turret opera. Instead of a bunch of turrets, however, there was an Aperture-style android, similar to P-body, but coated entirely in white and with a yellow eye. She spoke up in a voice identical to that of GLaDOS.

"Hello there. That's right, this robot is fully controlled by me. And she, that is to say, I, will be mentoring you for the Games. Usually we would need a victor from previous Games from our district, but we don't have one yet, so here it is. I am the mentor. It's me. And I'm also broadcasting what this robot sees to the screens for the duration of the Games, combined with the feeds from the Capitol."

The GLaDOS android stepped into the lift with Chell and Doug, and the lift rose further. Instead of the shed, however, it led up to a train, and the doors opened there.

The announcer from the previous episode announced: "Train moving. Destination: Panem's Capitol. Arrival in: thirty hours."

GLaDOS, Chell and Doug took off to the next room. It was full of different kinds of food, completely unlike what Aperture provided its test subjects for the time in Panem.

"Don't eat yet. While we're at it, might as well check out the reapings from other districts." A TV screen inside the train where the food was turned on, and GLaDOS, Chell and Doug watched.

Author's idiotisms:

1) Yes, Chell is mute in this now. Unlike my other fics. Just saying that. And I have no idea why Doug got no lines.
2) Should I make this into a Send-Your-Own-Tribute? (Self-explanatory term.) Of course, you'd only get Districts 1 to 13, but that's obvious.