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"The Winners Of The New World", Circa February 2000

Tyler Durden's picture




February 29, 2000

The Winners of the New World










Or, closer to home. We in the stock market don't care that The Inc., a company I helped create, has built a compelling new brand, has more than 100,000 paid subscribers and has $100 million in the bank. We just want to know which companies employs to publish each day. We want to know who the host is, which publishing tool works best, which wireless strategy is adopting and how does it automate its email? (By the way, the answers are Exodus, Vignette, Motorola and Kana  -- all at or near their 52-week highs as languishes at its 52-week low, a triumph of the arms merchants over the combatants if there ever were one.)














Of course they are.



You can have them.

Thank you.


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Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:39 | 3209106 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Cramer proudly displaying the horns of 'Moloch'...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:55 | 3209119 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

I hope JC gets Gaddafi[ed] right along side Jamie, Llyod, and the rest of the GS/Wall Street fuckerz...just sayin.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:35 | 3209174 mightycluck
mightycluck's picture

Speaking of humor, I found this picture of Obama shooting Grumpy Cat. Obama can't really make Republicans in the House agree to his massive spending pleas, so it is easier to deal with grumpy cat!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:45 | 3209181 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

@mightycluck ~ He can take away everyones guns... But he likes SHOOTING cats with his rifle in his spare tie... [MSM must have missed that irony]...


Someone needs to photoshop a pic of Feinstein instead of grumpy cat [& make it go viral]... WB7?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:45 | 3209198 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

well he kind of nailed it...

apart from the words...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:13 | 3209229 cifo
cifo's picture

I get shivers in my spine from reading it.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:17 | 3209241 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

but hopefully not in your wallet.

How does this bloke still get on TV?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:42 | 3209397 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

Wall Street keeps drinking its own bathwater, until it implodes under its own weight. Happens everytime.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 10:31 | 3209435 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

From the Wall Street Crony Portrait Gallery,

"Still Life With Subpoena." Securities and Exchange Commission, 2006. Private Collection.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:40 | 3209180 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture


So what's the update 13 years later?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:40 | 3209189 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Jim Cramer is the Great Defender of the Little People!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:59 | 3209877 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

Cramer is a massive tool, as demonstrated here:

VIDEO - Cramer & Erin Burnett Watch As Dow Falls 1,000 Pts
Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:00 | 3209320 Gold Dog
Gold Dog's picture

My three biggest buys in early 2000 were;

Exxon- Up 250%

Kinder Morgan Partners- Up 400%

Philip Morris, now Altria- Up 560%

That is not including dividends.

Conclusion, Cramer is a fucking idiot!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:10 | 3209342 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

I know that was probably a rhetorical question, but I'm bored, so LMGTFY:

724 Solutions (NASDAQ:SVNX)

Feb 2000: IPO opened at $108, shot up to $345
Feb 2002: stock trading at $2.45
Sep 2002: moved to NASDAQ SmallCap market, as it no longer met minimum bid of $1 per share
Apr 2004: EDGAR filing shows that a $100 investment in 2000-01 worth $0.42 in 2003-12
Jan 2010: bought by Mobixell Networks for undisclosed amount


Dec 1999: share price at $57; announced acquisition of TRADEX Tech
Mar 2000: shares at $173
Oct 2012: acquired by SAP for about $45/share

Digital Island (NASDAQ:ISLD)

Oct 1999: share price at $23
Mar 2000: secondary offering at $107, later hits high of $122
May 2001: acquired by Cable & Wireless at $3.40/share


Mar 2000: share price at $173
Sep 2001: less than $1/share
Sep 2001: filed for Chapter 11
Nov 2001: acquired by Cable & Wireless

InfoSpac --  Oh, screw it.  You get the idea...

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 14:00 | 3211156 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture





Also, in 2000, InfoSpace used a controversial accounting method to report $46 million in profits when in fact it had lost $282 million. Company executives skirted SEC trading restrictions to sell large blocks of their personal stock.[7]

Jain resumed the role of CEO in 2001,[8] but was forced out by InfoSpace's board as chairman and CEO in December 2002.[9]

By June 2002, the company's stock price, which reached $1,305 in March 2000,[10] had dropped to $2.67.[11]

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:21 | 3209361 hawks5999
hawks5999's picture

724 Solutions appears to have been delisted and sold off for about 10% of its IPO prices

Ariba's cap is about 3% of its 2000 pre-crash valuation

Digital Island was sold at 4% of its pre-crash valuation

Exodus - Bankrupt

Infospace fell to .2% of its pre-cash valuation

Inktomi was sold for .6% of its pre-cash valuation

Mercury sold for about 33% of it's pre-crash valuation in 2005

Sonera merged in 2002 - not sure on value

Verisign closed Friday at 17% of its 2/29/00 close

Veritas purchased for some % I can't find.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:54 | 3209424 adr
adr's picture

It isn't about where they closed or which went bankrupt. Cramer did his job, just think how much money insiders and corporate directors made when they granted themselves stock options in the three digit valuations.

CEOs running corporations without profit or earnings granting themselves millions upon millions overnight. That was and is Cramer's job. Pump the stocks for the guys at the top. That is why the clown has his job, he made trillions for the .05%.

The stock market exists as a wealth transfer mechanism, always has. There is no such thing as a productive public corporation.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:49 | 3209853 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Seems like management at CNBS has stopped running the disclaimer everytime this asshat opens his pie hole.  They used to run it everytime he came on. 

Thanks for the updates on those Cramer picks, seems like Jim is still "WINNING!"

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 17:16 | 3209568 JR
JR's picture

Cramer is funny; he’s a showman; he’s an entertainer; but beyond that, the network bears a huge responsibility for classifying him as a knowledgeable stock market observer. If Cramer were a package to be shipped on the airlines he would need a hazardous warning label.

With losses like that that, he should not be allowed to be on television: the network is responsible for this. He should be labeled as entertainment or comedy show. And to make it worse, he knows what he’s doing.

Thanks! a million, hawks.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 22:17 | 3210170 CPL
CPL's picture

724 Solutions, 

Partnered with Nortel...they've been passed around like a joint at a party for pennies on pennies, on pennies over a decade.  Only their IP remains.



Weakened by poor support and large price tag.  SAP consumed them for the IP and existing contracts for bodies.


Digital Island, 

SAVVIS Owns the IP now and a group of POed customers without support.  Get a lawyer, they owe you money on contract terms of service if you purchased during bullshit and the subsequent flips through OTC and Pink sheets.



They sold a lot of third tier support services, aka whatever they could lie about then mark up.  You think the gangsters of the universe are extorsionists, these guys were masters.  Since they were pricks.  They ran out of customers fast.  They were the original bastard operators from hell., 

It's a sorry assed search engine that couldn't find Google with it's algo search.  It is A SCAM.  Stay the fuck away from it.  Sold as a bottom level investment, padded to death and it's as clean as a two dollar hooker on payday.  It's so sad incidentally that it has to list itself on tier 7 sites to get placement anywhere.  There are guys that collect thimbles on the few personal remaining geocities pages that have had more unique visitors.  Mainly because people are curious as to the reason people collect thimbles is., there is nothing interesting there.  Just ads...from google.



Inktomi backed AOL in "the web wars" as if AOL was even a nomination for 'web services' other than shitty BBS full of parental controls, no porn and games that you could wait 30 minutes to load.  OR go buy the 16 in 1 game pack from a dollar store and sit in a coffee shop waiting for a random challenger.  The outcome is about the same.


Mercury Interactive, 

World class producers of tactile, functional, progressive, industry key white papers and power point presentations.  Their product was this.  For about a million dollars a customer can buy a pad of paper with a pencil.  With another 4 million they'll send you four or five guys, none of whom english is the first language and none of them speak each others language.  Then write another check for a million to hire a project manager to write emails to these guys to 'confer, develop and assign' the various tasks of writing on bits of paper what the product is supposed to do on your site.  After two months your Project Manager will be replaced with Jed.  Jed likes muddin and taters, doesn't understand technology, but he's some idiot stick that hired cheap on the locked in contract for ten year just for purchasing a pad of paper.


It's at this point clients understand that they haven't even bought a software license.  Just the idea of one.  HP sells this shit now.  Fucking criminal.  Like SAP in every way shape and form.



Is now TelliusSonara (actually had to look this one up...fuck there were a lot of shitty companies then just as now.)...Two crappy broke companies seen each other and thought by merging debt loads, no customers, vapourware that it could complete the circle of craptacular stock.  I hope to TelliusSonara enjoy ...oh wait.  CEO is running for the hills because he's still a douche.  More things change...



If you have an infinite amount of monkey's and an infinite amount of typewriters you to can find the holy grail or shitty security implimentation and planning and those fucking online shipping carts that loops into infinity and take forever to deal with.  Try troubleshooting that shit.  I know guys that won't EVER walk into a company using it.  Garbage tech.  Paypal should have raped it mercilessly.  Oh it was built as a loss leader.  BIG one.  It's designed as a company to lose money and US Government pension funds have held it for years for some demented reason.


Veritas Software

Netbackup.    It is still alive...but barely.  Open Source universe has destroyed the backup market place with faster, reliable backup solutions build BY system administrators that were sick to death of getting in shit to retrieve a single email about some joke sent by a director to himself and he lost it.  Because that's what million dollar storage systems are for.  Cat pictures and jokes.  Offsite, until the end of time, or 4 years when the corn/ethanol based tape media starts to rot.  


True story, it's veggie oil, not real oil stamped as the "film" on CD/DVD/Tape media.  Why does anyone think the prices dropped so fast so quickly.  They certainly weren't going to use real oil.  Because that might have been sensible and last forever.  I have too many friends learning this the hard way all those carefully archived photos of their kids from ten years ago are now worthless and gone.  Explain that to the wife.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 02:09 | 3210484 schatzi
schatzi's picture

Wow, I'm shocked.Tthanks for that. Scary to see so much criminal energy and idiocy being rewarded and also supported by main stream media. This is the one post most new and aspiring investors should read. Great wake-up call.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 07:04 | 3210635 Tekrunner
Tekrunner's picture

Don't take that post too litterally, it's a fun read but it's exaggerated on some companies. Veritas and Verisign especially : Netbackup is, in fact, used fairly widely (but certainly not to backup emails), and Verisign is still in charge of some critical infrastructure for the Internet.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 15:00 | 3211311 CPL
CPL's picture

lol...not for long.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 15:06 | 3211329 CPL
CPL's picture

These companies are all in sceptic tank of the business slag heap...or about to be flushed.  Bad ideas in STEM can stick around for a little while, but eventually the proof has to be shown or everyone disconnects from them because they are useless.

This isn't fine arts, opinions and money hold zero sway after that point.  Function in a model does.  It must function in a process or it is disposed of.  

Only reason Verisign is still hobbling around on a stump is because there are stock holders that bough at it's 100 dollar highs and are waiting for people to want confusing, poorly implimented, sloppy, half working software.  Oh wait they aren't, but the pension fund investors still keep giving them civil servant money and occassionally some hedge fund manager gets suckered in.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 02:38 | 3210508 TimmyM
TimmyM's picture

So CPL, if you had to buy a tech stock, what would it be?

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 15:09 | 3211309 CPL
CPL's picture

None of them.  Build a company.  Sell good services.  Build a good tool.  Don't go into debt.  Invest that way.  Stocks are garbage.

My favorite model is find a good sales person and build service products that people actually want around my resume and if the project is larger, sniff out people with bench time to help out.  Everyone gets money in their pocket to the level of work responsiblity they want to assume.  License to print money and enjoy a career.  Variety.  Money is good.  Always an excuse to try something interesting in a different business context.

and STEM isn't hard to sell from.  

If it's useful, it goes viral ala the KISS rule.  It's the only free capital market.  Do you own a USB stick of ram?  Can you recall when you obtained your first one and how you learned about it?  I don't recall large advertising campaigns about the san disk cruizer in Time magazine or a 30 second spot.  Yet you still own one as do I.  There is no brand that sticks out.  Just the function.  Datakey.

It is the single piece of technology that everyone seems to understand, absorbed knowledge of by osmosis, yet never get the data key in the usb slot on a first time try.

Want warranted success in software development as a Model?  

Mojang... or the makers of Minecraft.  Best.  Toy.  Ever.  Since.  Lego.  Because it is lego, with working parts.  Everything a kid wanted out of a box of Legos.  Models are fun.  But working models are way better.  It's a company that deserves every nickle of the license they sell.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 02:04 | 3212627 LarryDavis
LarryDavis's picture

Great fucking post you knew your shit.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:41 | 3209191 fonestar
fonestar's picture

I've argued with enough idiots on CNBC blog to somewhat understand the mindset.  The markets are like vegas, CNBC is another casino and Federal Reserve Notes are their casino chips.  Maria serves the drinks while Jim, Liesman and the others provide infotainment on stage.  If  little old ladies and college students (who actually try and use their clownbux to exchange for goods and services) get mowed down in the process of their recklessness, the attitude is "fuck 'em".

This is a game for them plain and simple.  ZH'ers are in it to win it.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:48 | 3209293 Lets_Eat_Ben
Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:44 | 3209398 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

It is some funny sh*t to watch though. Now that their ratings are falling they become increasingly desperate. I'd stop watching but I'm waiting until they have Kernan shoot the pasties off of Becky Quick's breasts.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 17:32 | 3209597 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  That might save their ratings. 

Cramer is a total douche and I have always said CNBC is like a casino on TV.  I dumped TV and Hollywood pre it becoming Obam-TV and Obam-Hollywood.

TV and Hollywood is for brainwashing idiots.  By watching it - people empower the elites.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:37 | 3209816 Seer
Seer's picture

What value is it to anyone for you to keep plugging your anti-Obama shtick?  It gets fucking old.  Insecurity on your part I suppose (that our you get paid to post this- propaganda peddler).  Anyone who doesn't get that Obama is a puppet, doesn't get that you dislike the fucker, well... did I say it gets old?

NOTE: While I'll admit that I repeat the "growth is dead" mantra, it is and will continue to valid and of importance for people to understand. (and, it doesn't look to use name-calling, or toss around racist, stereotyping drivel).

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:40 | 3209396 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

It would be real humorous if not for that screaming shit eating fucking piece of fucking sewer trash not losing a ton of innocent people's money with his fucking criminal fucking shill theater.

Fuck you Cramer. Take a fucking bullet like a fucking rabid fucking feral dog you fucking cocksucker.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 11:22 | 3210815 newdoobie
newdoobie's picture

Don't hold back, tell us how you really fucking feel!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 18:33 | 3209686 bobthehorse
bobthehorse's picture

Jim Cramer.

What a douche bag.

The man should be cornholed and shot.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:39 | 3209110 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture



Well, I can concede that he was probably right on that one.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:28 | 3209170 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"isn't a yahoo, with no access to any information or quotes in the financial world a better place to buy stocks than Goldman?"

Even with those changes, he would still be right on the Goldman call.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:44 | 3209197 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The dip in TST represents a fantastic buying opportunity.  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:45 | 3209112 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Circa July 2008 also.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:53 | 3209117 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

What amazes me? No one has shot him. I would have a martini, and I don't drink. The man has no conscience, morlas, and is so fucking ugly. I'm sure his wife has a relationship with the garbage man. And, I'm being kind.................

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:00 | 3209126 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Somebody upstairs decided to make him the 'POSTER BOY' because he has an uncanny resemblance to Vladimir Illych Ulyanov [Lenin]... It's a subtle hint of which direction we're being led 'by the nose' into...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:07 | 3209137 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Uchitsa, uchitsa, uchitsa.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:55 | 3209866 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Cramer is a clown, clowns are just creepy.  Corzine is a crook, crooks should be (will be?) shot.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:40 | 3209188 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture


I'll take Business Ethics for a thousand please Alex.


h/t m33t3r

Video: Cramer exposes himself in an interview with If you want to download you can by clicking on the file tab and choosing "download". Google will then give it's ass-covering warning that the file might contain a virus, but there's not.

Transcript, self-proclaimed source of the leak:


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:41 | 3209825 Seer
Seer's picture

"What amazes me? No one has shot him."

Only if it cripples him... Better would be that he had to rummage through garbage dumps for the rest of his life in order to live: and, his only source of entertainment would be having to watch nothing but reruns of him spewing his B.S..

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:03 | 3209128 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Fuck You Jim Cramer!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:03 | 3209129 monopoly
monopoly's picture

And he is not in prison for fraud, lying, deceit, idiocy and corruption. THAT is Amerika.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:37 | 3209178 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Yea, he is just a reflection of the average American. In other cultures they would have been ignoring such a guy quickly, but in America you can tell 20 years bullshit and get loved and admired. 

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 18:13 | 3209659 Freddie
Freddie's picture

He engaged in endless front running at his hedge fund but was buddies with Elliott Spitzer so Cramer the shit was untouchable.  CNBC enabled his front running whisper in Maria's ear BS.  Criminals.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:03 | 3209130 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

"What's important when you are in that hedge-fund mode is to not do anything remotely truthful because the truth is so against your view, that it's important to create a new truth, to develop a fiction."[26] Cramer described a variety of tactics that hedge fund managers use to affect a stock's price. Cramer said that one strategy to keep a stock price down is to spread false rumors to reporters he described as "the Pisanis of the world". The comment was a reference to CNBC correspondent Bob Pisani, who reports from the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange. "You have to use these guys," said Cramer. He also discussed giving information to "the bozo reporter from The Wall Street Journal" to get an article published.[27][28] Cramer said this practice, although illegal, is easy to do "because the SEC doesn't understand it."[29] During the interview Cramer referred to himself as a "banking class hero." - Jim Cramer

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:51 | 3209286 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture

A banking class hero is something to be. He is probably a huge fan of himself.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:06 | 3209134 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

He's such an ass hole.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:08 | 3209138 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Whatever Goldman and Cramer the opposite.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:13 | 3209144 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

I just punched a hole in my monitor. Where Cramer used to be.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:23 | 3209162 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

lol ~ Oh now you did it... THE SEVENTH SEAL has been broken... Run for your lives!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:15 | 3209149 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

During a brief few seconds before changing the channel, Crammer always reminds me of a rake being dragged across a chalkboard.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:21 | 3209156 “Rebellion to t...

I'd like to my wipe ass with his head.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:57 | 3209210 Bernankenstein
Bernankenstein's picture

That would only make him look better, though.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:16 | 3209354 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

....and leave you with genital warts on your rectum in the process.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:24 | 3209161 gould's fisker
gould&#039;s fisker's picture

It's not booyah Jim, it's radioactive economic booshit advice--write another book called "the five steps to personal economic destruction." The first step is listening to Jim Cramer.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:26 | 3209165 GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

Jim Cramer is a parasite and an embarrassment of a man.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:44 | 3209192 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Along the same lines, I have a copy of the book "It's Getting Better All the Time" if you need a good laugh.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:46 | 3209199 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Jim Cramer's insights into the world of investing are second to none, and profiting from his experience and wisdom is a no brainer.  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:55 | 3209207 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

His investing insight allowed my broker to profit massively from my account collapse! I couldn't be happier for the two of them!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:01 | 3209206 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

For Cramer, every day is a new reality.

What he said yesterday, or last month, or last year, or decade - isn't reality anymore.

If he was 180 degrees wrong, he will:  apologize, blame it on regulators, blame the CEO, pretend he warned everyone, pretend he never recommended it (multiple choice - obfuscation builds empathy).

As he says at the beginning of the program "You need to get in the game!"

It's about getting people in the game (casino). 

The craps table Croupier of Wall Street.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:32 | 3209269 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Jim Cramer understands the pitfalls of equity investing, and the need to take a longer term view when price temporarily moves against the little guys.  

His investment advice falls into the category of "value" and he admonishes people regularly against momentum stocks and the dangers of chasing performance.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 17:01 | 3209539 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Like I said, Cramer is a Casino Croupier.

"You want to avoid those 30-to-1 bets on double zero, but going black or red is a good bet."

"Put a bet on the come line and some on the pass, this game is fun."

"Never go all-in with less than a full house."

"Never hit on 16."


The house always wins.

Long term investors get screwed; they provide the cash for the fund managers fees and bonuses, the day traders, and the HFT machines.  And if by chance long term investors succeed they have to cash out at exactly the right time.  And then, they have to deal with the tax man.  The stock market is a rigged casino, nothing more.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 17:58 | 3209632 StockProdigy
StockProdigy's picture

Jim! Welcome to ZH.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 04:24 | 3210571 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

I think that's what's termed a Sociopath?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 13:54 | 3209208 booboo
booboo's picture

Cramer Kudlow and Liesman is how TPTB and Wall Street operate public relations. They don't hire large firms, too messy. They just give clowns teevee shows like they did in the 50's.
The Howdy Doody show sponsored by General Mills. We grew up watching clowns shows sitting on the floor with our cowboy hats and coon skin caps. Now the same generation sit in a Lazy Boy watching queer clowns talk about serial klepto markets.
Hey kids, what time is it?
Go watch Reruns of Howdy Doody and Cramer and tell me the difference.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:21 | 3209244 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 That was a great post! /+1   

  Matter of factly, I can't stop laughing, as this whole thread is full of good posts!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:35 | 3209274 Cdad
Cdad's picture

CNBC, and the various personalities that make up its staff, are an invaluable tool for investors.  Some of the greatest financial news journalists work there, and the network quite literally sets the standard for the entire media industry.  

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 04:27 | 3210572 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

You're saying that tongue-in-cheek I hope!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:00 | 3209212 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Jim Cramer is a creepy dude.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:17 | 3209237 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

cocaine is a helluva drug

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:16 | 3209239 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I wonder if Jimmy Cramer pays his dry cleaner to roll up his shirt sleeves for him?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:25 | 3209256 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Jim Cramer's fashion sense is best described as classic Wall Street, and he has impeccable taste in brands.  By rolling up his sleeves, he reveals to Americans that despite the trappings of his business, he is there on The Street representing them, the little guys who need an ally in an increasingly complex investing environment.  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:29 | 3209261 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

the Pied Piper of the greatest fools

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:29 | 3209265 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Jimmy "Tool Time" Cramer. OOPs wrong sitcom.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:24 | 3209367 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Reminds me of a billboard in Florida of a lawyer where said lawyer is wearing a three piece suit and is rolling up the sleeve on one of his arms and the words in his ad state that he is willing to do what it takes to fight for the little guy.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:17 | 3209469 JR
JR's picture

Exactly. He was a stockbroker with Goldman Sachs Private Wealth Management division, for Heaven’s sake. So he took a shower and he’s not Goldman, anymore?

He’s Harvard and was even a research assistant for Alan Dershowitz, helping Dershowitz acquit alleged attempted murderer, Claus von Bulow. In fact, according to Wikipedia, Cramer admitted to himself that von Bulow was “supremely guilty” of administering an insulin overdose to his wife, Sunny, and left her in a persistent vegetative state for the rest of her life.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 18:55 | 3209735 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Jimmy Cramer was the equivalant, of an IB (introducing broker) With the Squid...

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 04:29 | 3210573 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Your sarcasm rules!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:36 | 3209277 ukmetman
ukmetman's picture

Ah....Exodus Communications. Fond memories of my beginnings as an investor. Not only did I lose my shirt, but I doubled my holding on the way down and lost my pants as well.

At least there was a happy ending. While most of my eager dotcom buddies vowed never to invest in stocks ever again, I was determined I'd get my money back from the thieves on Wall St., discovered gold, and have not looked back since. If it wasn't for good old Exodus, I would never have joined the gold train. Thanks Ellen Hancock (Exodus CEO), you transformed my life for the better.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:02 | 3209325 JR
JR's picture

Cramer February  29,2000: “Here goes. Write them down -- no handouts here!: 724 Solutions, Ariba, Digital Island, Exodus,, Inktomi, Mercury Interactive, Sonera, VeriSign and Veritas Software.”

Cramer is plugged into the government lies.

The showmanship that Cramer uses is often the most dangerous part. A favorite stock of his can be called, literally, the greatest chance you’ve ever had, and it’s almost a shame to wait for morning to buy it as it may take off in the night.

It turns out these flashes of exuberance, if you are a great Cramer fan, can cost you huge dollars, such as these:

…Ariba was one of the first business-to-business Internet companies to go public (in 1999).[6] The company's stock more than tripled from the offering price on opening day,[7][8] making the three year-old company worth $6 billion. In 2000, the stock value continued to climb, and Ariba's market capitalization was as high as $40 billion. With the bursting of the dot-com bubble, Ariba's stock price fell dramatically to the low double digits in July 2001, where it has remained since, with a market capitalization of just over $1.5 billion as of June 2010. -- Wikipedia

…Exodus Communications was an Internet hosting service and Internet service provider to dot-com businesses. It went broke, along with many of its customers, during the bursting of the dot-com bubble. It declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2001 and was purchased by Cable and Wireless in November 2001 - Wikipedia

…On May 13, 2001, the Digital Island board met and voted unanimously to approve the execution of the Merger Agreement (with by Cable & Wireless, PLC ("C & W") with a per share tender offer price of $3.40 and to recommend to the shareholders that they accept the tender offer.- United States Court of Appeals, Third Circuit.

…InfoSpace: The company was founded as Infospace in March 1996 by Naveen Jain after he left Microsoft. He served as CEO until 2000. The company, which started with six employees, built an online yellow pages service to be funded through advertising. A set of simple chat rooms (based on HTML and meta refresh) were also available on the site.  InfoSpace went public on December 15, 1998. The company raised $75 million in the offering.[5] In July 2000, InfoSpace acquired Go2Net… Also, in 2000, InfoSpace used a controversial accounting method to report $46 million in profits when in fact it had lost $282 million. Company executives skirted SEC trading restrictions to sell large blocks of their personal stock.[7].. By June 2002, the company's stock price, which reached $1,305 in March 2000,[10] had dropped to $2.67.[11] – Wikipedia

Just started looking and this is a far as I got…

The tragic part of the Cramer phenomenon is that he is an insider plugged into the power structure. And, as a public personality, it certainly qualifies as abuse of power. One is reminded of the famous Dilbert cartoon where Wally, put in charge of office relocation, has become obsessed with newfound power creating “Wallyville”: two floors of luxury housing, shopping, and gambling.

Asks Dilbert: “Do you think you might be abusing your power?”

Wally: “What would be the other reasons to have power.”

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:07 | 3209458 adr
adr's picture

Poor InfoSpace, they just came out at the wrong time. The controversial accounting method they used to report a $282 million loss as $46 million in proft is a GAAP now. In fact the $282 milion loss would probably be able to be booked as an asset now.

God, if Amazon can have a 3800p/e, InfoSpace could have been in the 200k range. Wow, and think of a merger with Facebook, it would be Apple what? InfoFaceSpace, the first multi trillion dollar market cap corporation!!!!

What was still is. Hundreds of millions in losses booked as profit. Mass accounting fraud. Only what has gone on over the past four years makes 2000 look like a kindergartener at play.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:56 | 3209530 JR
JR's picture

+ 100 as usual, adr. Fits nicely with your take on ZH’s post yesterday, ISM Beats Expectations on Surge in Inventories. It bears repeating (emphasis mine).


adr (February 1, 2013) :

More fucking survey bullshit. Inventories are the public corporation's way of fudging books.If you own a productive business you need to order product, it is how you make money.

In the real world I live in, not the goal seeked data massaged fantasy land of Wall Street, there have been no orders. Inventories left over from last year are higher than ever, and retail isn't buying.

Go to a store and look at the inventory levels.

People need to get a clue and begin to understand how publicly traded retailers game the system. Comps are not based on actual increases, they are based on increases in the percentage of inventory sold. If you have four units of inventory and you sold 2, you sold 50%. If you had 10 units before and you sold four, you sold 40%. Your comparable sale is a 10% increase even though actual sales fell 50%. Nobody in their right mind would say a store did better selling 2 units when they sold four units before. But in the world of corproate accounting actual sales don't matter.

Its all fucking bullshit. I've been to three trade shows since the beginning of January. If the bullshit is to be believed, I should have see booming business. What I saw was a morgue. Boots on the ground can't lie. I mean if you step in shit, you know you stepped in shit. Some guy from a skybox can say "Don't worry folks, it was just mud." But you stepped in it, and you can smell shit.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:40 | 3209822 BigJim
BigJim's picture


Sun, 02/03/2013 - 04:37 | 3210576 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Or it could have been a very soft and melted Babyruth?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:45 | 3209292 Tombstone
Tombstone's picture

You have to understand that CNBC is in the ad selling business, not the make-you-rich-through-investing-business.  As long as they can keep the average investor interested, they make a buck.  You couldn't run this operation with government funding like a totally dull NPR.  Krammer provides excitement and keeps the unknowing begging for more slop and spit.  At least you can get some sense of reasonable blather from Ricky S.  The sad fact is that there are no gurus worth their next reco, and there is no magical money making system.  The best you can hope for is that Uncle Benny keeps pumping the jury-rigged markets with funny-money and the NASDAQ hits 5,000 again...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 18:04 | 3209641 StockProdigy
StockProdigy's picture

lol @ NPR.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 04:53 | 3210581 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

The exchange between Jeff Gundlach and Melissa Lee was damned funny to watch a couple weeks ago when Gundlach was saying AAPL could see $425 pretty soon.  Mellissa's face kind of turned from excitement to sorrow and dismay at what Gundlach had to say and the rest of the interview he was stomping on her buzz.  I loved it actually!  It was hilarious to watch the pump masters moods change so quickly when they have a contrarian on for an interview.  Hilarious!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:49 | 3209303 Atomizer
Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:02 | 3209322 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Nice work Atomizer.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 03:27 | 3210548 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

You just wish a hand would come in from the side with a gun in it and put him out of our misery, like some Monty Python skit.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:51 | 3209304 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

When I was in the stock analysis business leading up to March 2000 wall street had coined terms such as "virtuous circles" which fueled "infinite demand for bandwidth". Because any mathematic based financial models were inept at explaining the valuations of the dot com era companies, one wall street firm (think it was lehman or first boston) hired a sociologist who hit the road to expain to the buy-side that that the collective wisdom of the consensus was vastly superior to any individual or sub-group insight and, thus, the consensus should not be questioned (sort of a "don't fight the fed") concept.

Man, have we learned not to fight the fed over the past 4 years. But in the spirit of hope, I would add a couple of words to that old 3 martini lunch, 60s madmen brokers' slogan. "Don't fight the fed until its dead".  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:13 | 3209345 JR
JR's picture

It used to be that the goals of many wealthy men coincided with a goal for overall progress of the country.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:55 | 3209425 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   Mother Nature sorts things out... ( being snarky)  J.R. imagine yourself as a renter, in an apartment complex with 500 units.

 You have a compliant with the land lord, and get tossed to the leasing agent, that has a boss, that has a boss, that has a regional boss, that has a V.P. of Operations, Boss of Regional/Boss.

  J.R. It used to be, that you call the principle and get an answer. Now you call the (idiot) that answers the phones, if you're lucky!


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:11 | 3209462 JR
JR's picture

Yen! You have just described our new Obama health care system. And the procedure to have your ailment repaired. I never did like Mother Nature; she reminds me of Madeleine Albright, Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi rolled into one – America’s new all-caring matriarchal force – the fist that smashes the cradle.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:24 | 3209474 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Jaded & Scorned llc.  Senior Partners listed by J.R.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 14:51 | 3209306 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I hate people who make that sign.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:42 | 3209833 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Jim Cramer is a person?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:21 | 3209362 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture


Sun, 02/03/2013 - 00:07 | 3210355 newengland
newengland's picture


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 15:43 | 3209401 Handful of Dust
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Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:00 | 3209437 deepsouthdoug
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Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:05 | 3209452 devo
devo's picture

Pretty much.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:54 | 3209524 BattlegroundEur...
BattlegroundEurope2011's picture

Another bastage lucky to be still alive.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 17:24 | 3209581 pragmatic hobo
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Sat, 02/02/2013 - 17:33 | 3209600 JR
JR's picture



Sat, 02/02/2013 - 18:00 | 3209635 StockProdigy
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Sat, 02/02/2013 - 19:20 | 3209777 guorilla
guorilla's picture


Sun, 02/03/2013 - 00:02 | 3210348 newengland
newengland's picture



I pity them. I wish him his own hand.


Sun, 02/03/2013 - 09:29 | 3210711 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture


Sun, 02/03/2013 - 12:09 | 3210888 roadhazard
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