Amibu to be annoyed at people slating there husbands

(30 Posts)
fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:24:16

Too many people slating there significant others for bring forgetful
Or unreasonable and I think least u have the dad to ur kids in their life when me and my dcs have struggled on our own!

NewBeginningsSnoopy Tue 03-Dec-13 10:46:19

I think you can think and feel whatever you like. Nothing is unreasonable! ;-) When I separated from my ex (my choice), certain members of my family said that I should be grateful and appreciative that I HAVE a 'man in my life.' Ugh!! :-(

LetZygonsbeZygons Sun 01-Dec-13 19:12:09

Op I know what you're trying to say. brew

notthefirstagainstthewall Sat 30-Nov-13 21:30:55

I have never "struggled" on my own despite being left pregnant after many years in a relationship.
Struggling is not down to whether the children's father is around or not. If you have strong social networks, money coming in something other than just the children to find self worth in, it's often easier. I see plenty of women pulling their hair out with the expectations that having a partner brings.They aren't making it up.
However life as alone parent IS harder without a bit of back up whether friends, family or just someone that fancies you

KerwhizzedMyself Sat 30-Nov-13 17:32:08

This is like saying we shouldn't moan about being hungry because there are people starving in Africa. It's okay to complain about your lot even if it seems silly to other people. I bet you had a good whinge about your partner occasionally back when you had one.

extracrunchy Sat 30-Nov-13 01:11:30


BeCool Sat 30-Nov-13 01:00:15

To paraphrase Plato, no good will ever come from comparing your life to others.

scottishmummy Sat 30-Nov-13 00:51:09

It's not a martyred competition.see,he's forgetful. Whereas you have no dh

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:49:58

I am not and have no intention of making others feel guilty. Seems my thread Is being misinterpreted so I will bow out while I have a leg to stand on lolwink

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:47:55

I see! Says it all

ABitterPIL Sat 30-Nov-13 00:47:14

Yep you are feeling sorry for yourself but is there a need to try to stop others doing the same. Why not just say it is shit that my dcs dad isnt involved in my life and i envious of 2 parent families.

It is ok to feel like that. Not ok to make others feel guilty about their feelings.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sat 30-Nov-13 00:46:57

Silly to you

I think getting het up about parent and child spaces silly, but I dont comment on the threads or start AIBUs about how silly the complainers are.

MeMySonAndI Sat 30-Nov-13 00:45:11

You don't have to be in an abusive relationship to be unhappy, and in any case who are you to judge? the only person who really knows how bad things are in a relationship is the person in the relationship. (everyone thought my ex was the perfect husband, only I knew he has always been the twat he is now that we are divorced)

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:44:36

I didn't say that at all. And I am on about the people that slate there husbands for silly things, not abusive or bad relationships! Believe me I've had my fair share of horrific men.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sat 30-Nov-13 00:40:03

Your point is that women shouldnt slate their dhs for anything becaise they should be grateful they even have one? ODFOD.

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:39:20

A bitter pill, there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for urself, but surly I am doing just that?

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:38:02

I'm not on about people in abuse relationships the point I'm trying to make isn't really coming across hmm

MeMySonAndI Sat 30-Nov-13 00:37:39

Well, I was one of those women complaining about my husband. I have to say that since he disappeared from the scene things are much easier and considerably less painful, even when I am doing all the work on my own.

So, don't assume that just because they are not alone, they are doing better than you.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Sat 30-Nov-13 00:37:32

Theres a thread atm about mums who have had premature babies saying how they feel cheated out of that last trimester and how hard it is to handle a SCBU situation. Wibu to say "at least you have your baby?" YES. My situation does.not stop them thinking or feeling hard done by and they are in a shitty situation which warrants no justification.

YABU because many many women (and men) with fuckwit partners either are or feel they are trapped. How dare you minimise their hardship because, in your eyes, your situation is worse.

colditz Sat 30-Nov-13 00:37:15

Yes, yabu. Unless you have lived with a bad man, you have no idea how much better off you are.

ThatWasPoo Sat 30-Nov-13 00:36:08

Meh. We all have to have somewhere to vent. People who we live in close proximity to have a tendency to piss us off grin
I have no dp so no one to moan about. smile However my mum is like the second parent in our house, I would be utterly lost without her but it doesn't stop me from having a moan about her sometimes.

ABitterPIL Sat 30-Nov-13 00:33:49

Would you say to someone who had abusive or toxic parents... well at least you had parents?

Nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself sometimes. Life can be shit no matter what your circumstances.

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:33:49

I agree sparkly and I'm glad I don't have that crap. I am so thankful for my kids though grin

DropYourSword Sat 30-Nov-13 00:31:56

Ok, but at least you have kids.

sparklysilversequins Sat 30-Nov-13 00:31:38

My life is far easier since my selfish ex H left and when I read threads like that I just think, thank f*ck I am single and don't have to deal with that kind of crap anymore.

fliss28 Sat 30-Nov-13 00:31:36

I don't think people should modify their posts! Never said that

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