Disclaimer: I love American Idol and I love Harry Potter so I mixed the two of them together. I know that there are a lot of these so i decided to make mine extra funny. Enjoy! Pleas review!




Good and Bad

Chapter 1

Gryffindor Auditions




Lockhart: Hello Hogwarts, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, your host for Hogwarts Idol. We have traveled to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to find out who is Hogwarts' greatest singer. And now to meet your judges:

*Lockhart walks over to the judges table*

Lockhart: Your first host replacing Randy, who unfortunately got into a gangsta fight and was beaten to death is Professor Remus Lupin!

Lupin: Hello witches, wizards and werewolves!

Lockhart: And second, replacing Paula who was a bit too nice to a bunch of bumblebees and is now in the hospital in intensive care is Professor Trelawney!

Trelawney; I see great singers in the near future.

Lockhart: Right...And last, replacing Simon, who went insane and is now in a mental hospital, somewhere in Pakistan is Professor Severus Snape!

Snape: I wouldn't be here if I wasn't being paid.

Lockhart: And now lets go to the Gryffindor common room for today's tryouts.

*Scene changes to Gryffindor common room*

Lockhart: Hello again!*smiles like a jackass* we are now in the Gryffindor common room. First please.

*A tall boy with bright red hair, loads of freckles and a long nose walks onto the stage*

Lupin: Name?

Red hair: Ronald Weasley.

Lupin: Go on please.

Ron: Okay. I'm going to sing 'the one' by Shakira.

You're the on I need

The way back home is always long

But if you're close to me

I'm holding on

You're the one I need

My real life has just begun

Cause there's nothing like

Your smile made of sun

In a world full of strangers

You're the one I know

Lupin: That was really good.

Trelawney: I see fame in your future.

Snape: Why do I have to go through this? *Bawls like a baby*

Lockhart: Congratulations, you've made it to the next round! See you in the great hall next week!

*Ron runs out smiling and a pretty girl with long black hair runs onto the stage giggling like crazy*

Trelawney: Name?

Giggles: Parvati Patil.

Trelawney: Go on dear and please stop giggling, the oracles don't appreciate that.

Parvati: Okay, like, I'm going to sing 'Sk8er Boi' by Avril Lavigne.

He was a sk8er boi

She said see ya later boi

He wasn't good enough for her

She had a pretty face

But her head was up in space

She needed to come back down to earth

Lupin: You have a great voice but you need to control your breathing, you sounded like you were having a asthma attack.

Trelawney: Your voice is so annoying!

Snape: I better be getting paid extra for this.

Lockhart: Sorry Parvati but you haven't made it.

Snape: Yesssss!

*Parvati breaks into tears and runs off the stage and an extremely short, skinny boy that looked 10, with messy black hair and glasses framing green eyes enters the stage*

Snape: Name, shrimp!

Green eyes: Come on Professor, you know my name, everyone knows my name.

Snape: Tell me your name you insolent brat!!

Green eyes: Harry Potter.

Snape: How old are you?

Harry: Fifteen.

Snape: Are you sure? You look like on of those little kids that carry fake I.D.s to buy illegal drugs.

Harry: I really am fifteen.

Lupin: Sorry to interrupt your fascinating argument but Harry has to go on now.

Harry: I'm going to sing 'Invisible' by Clay Aiken.

If I was invisible

Then I could just watch you in your room

If I was invisible

I'd make you mine tonight

If hearts were unbreakable

Then I could just tell you where I stand

I would be the smartest man

If I was invisible

Wait, I already am

Lupin: You have such a beautiful voice, your mother and father would be so proud.

Harry: *Blushes uncontrollably*

Trelawney: You have a great voice but remember your tea leaves, you must trust what they say.

Snape: *Glares*

Lockhart: Congratulations Harry, you've made it! See you in the great hall next week.

*Harry leaves the stage and a short, plump boy with brown hair and rosy cheeks walks in*

Lupin: Name?

Chubby: Neville Longbottom.

Snape: *Gives Neville an evil glare* Sing you stupid fat blob!

Neville: *Squeaks* Yes Sir. I'm going to sing 'I'm a little teapot.

I'm a little teapot

Short and stout

This is my handle

This is my spout

When you turn me over

Hear me shout

Tip me over

And pour me out

Lupin: Err...

Trelawney: Umm...

Snape: Is this some kind of joke? *Bursts out laughing, shocking everyone because he's never laughed before*

Lockhart: Sorry Neville but you didn't make it.

Neville: Wah! I'm a stupid fat blob that can't do anything *Trips and rolls off the stage*

*A pretty girl with shoulder length brown hair and long eyelashes enters the stage*

Trelawney: Name fellow divination lover?

Long eyelashes: Lavender Brown. *Giggle*

Trelawney: Go on.

Lavender: I'm going to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder where you are

In the sky you shine so bright

Like a diamond in the sky

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder where you are

Lupin: Couldn't you have chosen a better song?

Trelawney: You're supposed to be my follower and you can't even sing!!!

Snape: *Puts his hands in praying position* Oh dear God help me!

Lockhart: Sorry Giggles, I mean Lavender but you didn't make it through.

*Lavender bursts into tears and runs to Parvati and a pretty girl with bushy brown hair and big front teeth walks in*

Snape: Name mudblood?

Big teeth: Hermione Granger

Snape: Sing you filthy mudblood!

Hermione: I'm going to sing 'Objection' by Shakira.

Objection, I don't want a big exception

To get a bit of your attention

I love you for free and I'm not your mother

But you don't even bother

Objection, I'm tired of this triangle

Got tired dancing tango

No way

I've got to get away

Lupin: You are an extremely talented singer and definitely look like one too.

Trelawney: I wish my followers could sing as good as you.

Snape: Your voice kills, literally.

Lockhart: Congratulations Hermione you made it! See you in the great hall.

*Hermione sighs at Lockhart and leaves the stage. A tall, sandy haired boy walks in*

Lupin: Name?

Sandy hair: Seamus Finnigan.

Snape: Go on but I swear, if I hear on more bad singer I'm going to ring that persons neck and flush him down the toilet.

Lupin: Quiet Snivellus! Go on Seamus.

Seamus: I'm going to sing 'Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer'

Rudolf the red nosed reindeer

Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw him

You would even say it glows

All of the other reindeers

Used to laugh and call him names

They never let poor Rudolf

Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas eve

Santa came to say

Rudolf with your nose so bright

Won't you guide my sleigh tonight

Now all the reindeers love him

They all shouted out with glee

They even let poor Rudolf

Be an part of history

Lupin: Okay then...

Trelawney: I see rejection in your future.

Snape: I am not amused.

Lockhart: Sorry you suck and didn't make it.

Seamus: Well you guys suck!!!

Lockhart: Now that's all folks, see you tomorrow for the Slytherin auditions. Now I have to go get plastic surgery, bie!

*Camera moves over to Lupin and Snape beating each other up then all goes black*




Disclaimer: I probably wont update this story as much as my others because I'll probably be busy with my other stories. And I only wrote this for fun. I wasn't going to put it up. Please review!