
* When Phoney learns the hard way that the Valley runs on the barter system: "Smiley, why did you keep giving me beer? You know I don't carry ''dairy products!''"
* The revelation of just what The Hooded One's omen to go after Phoney was. [[SarcasmMode It was very, very, VERY subtle]]:
-->[[spoiler: PHONCIBLE P. BONE IS OUT TO GET YOU[[note]]Here, the marquee is missing the rest of the message that says, "...R VOTE!"[[/note]]]]
** And Fone Bone's reaction.
-->'''Fone Bone:''' After we save him, let's kill him.
** And before that, Phoney's reaction;
-->'''Phoney:''' You chased me all over Kingdom Come because of '''that?!''' [--O boy.--] Fone Bone is gonna be cranky when he finds out about this.
* EVERYTHING involving the [[ThoseTwoGuys Two Stupid Rat Creatures]], but especially during their temporary truce with Fone Bone & Smiley Bone in the 5th book. Eventually, the chaotic events lead to this gem:
-->'''Rat Creature #1:''' This is insane!
-->'''Rat Creature #2:''' [[YoureInsane It's stupid!]]
-->'''Smiley Bone:''' [[DumbassHasAPoint HEY! Nothing we've done so far has been]] '''[[DumbassHasAPoint un-stupid,]]''' [[DumbassHasAPoint and we're still]] '''[[DumbassHasAPoint alive,]]''' [[DumbassHasAPoint aren't we?!]]
-->'''Rat Creature #1:''' [[LampshadeHanging I can't really argue with that, but I feel like I should.]]
-->'''Smiley Bone:''' '''Carry on, Fone Bone! Make a stupid decision!'''
* The quiches. ''Dear Lord,'' the '''quiches.'''
-->'''Phoney Bone, [[ItMakesSenseInContext who is desperately holding onto Jonathan's collar with a smiling Gran'ma Ben next to him]]:''' Jon, ''please'' don't tell me Gran'ma Ben is the Queen of The Valley! ''PLEASE!''
-->'''Gran'ma Ben, cheerfully:''' I command you to take a walk with me.
-->'''Jonathan Oaks, nervously:''' Um, sorry. She's the Queen.
-->'''Phoney Bone, miserably:''' [[OhCrap GAH.....]] [[GenreSavvy My life is gonna suck, isn't it?]]
* Every time the words "Stupid, stupid rat creatures" are uttered.
* Gran'ma Ben telling Fone and Phoney to get some chickens prepared for dinner...
-->'''Fone Bone:''' Ohmygosh. We're gonna boil 'em alive?!
-->'''Gran'ma Ben:''' Of course not, dear. You're gonna cut their heads off first.
-->'''Phoney:''' With what?
-->'''Gran'ma Ben:''' With th' hatchet.
-->'''Phoney:''' Uh... Are they gonna... y'know... Run around the yard? Squirtin' blood an' stuff?
-->'''Gran'ma Ben:''' What's th' matter? Ain't you boys ever chopped th' head off a chicken before?
-->'''Phoney, Fone Bone:''' Uh... uh...
-->'''Gran'ma Ben:''' Oh, fer heaven's sakes! If ya can't handle a little flappin' around, just grab th' chicken by th' neck an' give her a good crank over your head -- that'll kill her first!
-->'''Phoney, Fone Bone:''' *JawDrop, look like they'll be sick, then faint.*
-->'''Gran'ma Ben:''' *grabbing a hatchet and marching out of panel* Hmmf. City boys!
* On their way back to the Barrelhaven, Phoney, Smiley, and Lucius are attacked by Rat Creatures. Smiley saves them- taking them over a cliff, where the land in a [[SoftWater pond]]. Just as their getting their bearings, it starts raining.
-->'''Lucius:''' [[WeirdnessMagnet Is everything I do with you boys]] [[LampshadeHanging gonna be like this?]]
-->'''Smiley:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Like what?]]
* [[OhCrap The look]] on Phoney's face when he realizes that Lucius has outwitted him at the Cow Race.
* One time, Fone Bone asks the Rat Creatures on which word rhymes with "toes" while writing a love poem. One of them asks, "Potatoes?" HilarityEnsues:
-->'''Fone Bone:''' ''[reading] Upon your feet''\\
''You have ten toes;''\\
''They look just like''\\
''[[PainfulRhyme Po-ta-toes]]!''\\
''[turns around, gets an OhCrap look]'' Whoops!\\
'''Rat Creature:''' Hello, small mammal.