UFC: Go Home! Why Randy Couture and Chuck Lidell Are No Longer Relevant

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Chuck Throws Like A Girl

Recently Chuck Liddell made the hilarious comment that he was thinking about gearing up for another title shot. Which is kind of like me saying I'm gearing up to quit drinking and sleeping with random slutty girls on the weekend. Point is, neither one of us have what it takes to accomplish those goals. I'm just smart enough to understand this.

Chuck has a bad habit of getting knocked out these days. It happened against Rashad Evans, it happened against Mauricio Rua, and lately it happened at the hands of glorified Middleweight Rich Franklin.

Let's not forget to add that "The Iceman" is 1-5 in his last 6 fights while going to sleep 4 times. Like the title of a Drake song, Chuck Lidell's career is Over!

Or he could go fight in Strikeforce :P

In another corner of the MMA blogosphere, there's been a lot of chatter about Randy Couture being back in the title hunt at 205 after his recent three fight win streak. However, there's just a little problem with that story. This "win streak" was composed of a robbery of a decision against Brandon Vera, a destruction of a guy who appeared to be Mark Coleman; if Coleman had suddenly lost the ability to move laterally, and a grappling demonstration  over James Toney. None of which should qualify Couture for a title shot in the toughest division in The UFC. 

Furthermore, I've been hearing a lot of talk that Randy could be fighting Rich Franklin with the winner getting some sort of title shot.


I'm gonna start sounding like Charles Barkely here, but first of all how is Rich Franklin magically a contender at 205? He KO'd Lidell, but as I hopefully expressed in my first few paragraphs that's not that hard to do anymore.

And yes, I understand that the UFC is a business and for some reason people like watching Randy Couture hold guys up against the fence like a security guard. And I concede that some people think it's cool that Rich Franklin used to teach math.

But I for one have to say if the UFC tries to sell me a PPV with this steaming turd as a main event. I will not be buying.

I'll end this piece with a little note directly to "The Natural" and " The Iceman"

Hey Randy and Chuck,

Good to talk to both of you again, when it's not a an expo or I'm not drunkenly trying to throw Ice at Chuck from the stands.

Look both of you WERE great. Two of the best and nobody can take that away from you.

But fighting is a young man's game.

Randy, you have a SON freaking fighting in Strikeforce. Maybe it's time to be a stage Dad at Ryan's fights.

Maybe you should join the AARP, or take up golf.

You know something guys your own age do.

It's bad enough that you walk around in your Extreme Couture clothes that are so shiny they make Affliction T-shirts shirts blush.

But seriously dude, are you gonna fight at 50?

Or if you are gonna fight and want to keep going, fight Jon Jones. Maybe a broken eye socket will help you reach a midlife decision.

Chuck, you know you're ready to be done with the dieting.

It's time to party!

You can host clubs in Vegas, you can do as much X as you want.

You can walk around in the state you were in on that Texas TV interview.

Plus you're famous now, so you can start fighting the paparazzi.

It's what Sean Penn would do.

So in conclusion guys it's not you it's me. I'm just not willing to pay to watch either of you fight anything but time anymore.



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