9 Beauty Tips From Marge Simpson, M.A.C Collaborator

After 25 years of delivering pop culture-laced goodness on our TV screens, The Simpsons are finally breaking into the beauty industry. That's right, yesterday Women's Wear Daily announced that M·A·C is putting out a Marge Simpson-inspired collection in September. Personally, this is bigger news to me than the recent M·A·C collections with the goth kid on Fashion Police and her goth kid mom, the cinematic goth kid.

Not that I don't love famous goth kids and the spin-off makeup collabs they inspire, I'm just incredibly biased: To me, The Simpsons are family. In fact, when I heard this announcement I immediately turned to the 1991 book The Simpsons Uncensored Family Album. See, in the '90s, Marge almost entered a beauty tips contest for Housewife Weekly for the chance to win a makeover. In the book, she discloses that, ultimately, she didn't want her look to be viewed as a "before" in a "before and after." But these tips prove that Marge was always a beauty maven. 

1. "To remove wrinkles, sleep with a yogurt facial treatment. Be sure to stir up fruit from the bottom!" Sounds more delicious than a Krusty Burger.

2. "To make your eyes look bigger, curl lashes." I trust that, all the Simpsons have eyes that are roughly 1/4th of their face.

3. "When in doubt about your hair, tease it!" Probably with a rake if you're going for that gigantic-blue-beehive look.

4. "Always clench your teeth when you smile." This is actually how I smile, and probably why I choose to just look sullen in all my selfies.

5. "Gravity is beauty's enemy number one. Maintain buoyant thoughts." Positivity, people, it's all about positivity.

6. "For younger looking skin, lie face down in a mud puddle." How organic! Gwyneth will be swearing by this in a week, mark my words.

7. "Mix your base with orange food coloring for a more 'natural' look." There's nothing like a healthy yellow glow.

8. "Keep your hair looking peppy with static electricity." Once again filed under "things that actually apply to me."

9. "Instead of drying your hair with a blow dryer, use a cotton candy machine." THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME IT'LL SAVE!

I think it's fair to say that Marge isn't just the original mother of the postmodern cartoon satire, she's the original mother of modern beauty hacks, too. Bring on the primary colors! 

Photos: Courtesy of The Everett Collection and M·A·C Make-up