Disclaimer: How drunk are you to even think I would own Yu-Gi-Oh (or the song)?

Title: Tainted
Raiting: R
Pairing: Honda/Ryou
Spoilers: ....
Warnings: Yaoi, mentioned rape, mental abuse, slight OCC, slightly AUish

I know I'm supposed to finish writing 'When you smile' and 'Regret' but I just had to write this . I wasn't even going to till the idea hit me. When I thought about it it was originally supposed to be Yugi/Ryou but really don't like that couple so I decided to change it around, though it changed the plot (or lack there of) slightly and was harder to write but it still kind of came out the way I wanted it. I tried to keep them in character as best as I could but as you can probably tell I did a craptasic job.

// blah.... // - Bakura to Ryou


~Always together
Together but always alone
If living's a sentence
What kind of existence is this one?~

Ryou sat at his desk at school, clutching his head trying to block out the images that were flooding his mind of the event that happened the night before his yami was sending to him. He held back the tears that threatened to fall, he remembered the pain, emotional and physical. He closed his eyes tightly trying to will them away, he couldn't stand to think of it. The mere thought made him sick, so nauseous he thought he was going to faint. He choked back a sob as the onslaught of continued, the memory of his yami holding him down taking something that he could never get back, the one thing he was saving for the person he truly loved, someone he could now never have. Mechanical laughing filled his head, he shook his head slightly trying to make it stop.

//Whats wrong hikari?// a mocking voice filled his head, //Your thinking about what he'll think of you now aren't you?// The voice laughed. //He'll never love you now, I've made sure of that. Your tainted, no one wants something that's broken.//

~The feelings are there
But our hears have been missing for so long
There's nothing to share
We've been going nowhere for too long~

Ryou closed his eyes tighter, wishing the world would just go away, disappear just like his problems. He wanted to run home and crawl into his room, hide in his closet like he did when he was younger (1). It was something he started to do after both his mother and little sister died, he never quite broke the habit and it just got worse after he got the Millennium Ring. Pretend like nothing was happening, just lay there in the dark pretending that -he- didn't exist, wondering what his life without Bakura would be like wishing he had a yami like Yami Yugi, someone to be there to protect him, to love him. He hated Bakura with ever fiber of his being yet at the same time he couldn't live without the insane spirit. He shook his head more trying to get Bakura to be quiet, to stop torturing him. It was getting harder and harder to hide the scars, though they weren't physical they were just as hard to hide from his friends. Yugi and the others were starting to get suspicious, always asking him if he was okay, giving him pitied looks. He jumped suddenly was he was jolted from his thoughts as he felt a tender hand placed on his shoulder, he turned his head and looked up at Honda, who was looking at him worry clearly written on his face. "Oh hi Honda," Ryou forced a smile on his face then looked around the room noticing that they were alone. "Where is everyone?"

"Class is over, the bell rang about 10 minutes ago, I've been trying to get your attention the whole time. Are you okay man?" He frowned slightly as he saw his pale friend continue to force that smile on his face.

"I'm fine Honda, just thinking that's all," he said while his voice was quivering slightly.

The taller boy frowned more, "Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything." He sighed inwardly as he saw the white haired boy nod, "If you say so... The others headed towards the arcade after class. We were wondering if you wanted to come, I told them to go without me."

Words that weren't intended to be said
Though your pride fights to the bitter end~

"I.. uh..," he looked back at his desk. He wanted to go but with Honda around he always got a little nervous, he had a crush on the other boy since he moved to Domino a few years back.

//Tell him you can't go, You know how I feel about them.// Bakura felt his anger rise when he felt his hikari ignoring him.

"Is that a yes?", Honda smiled slightly, he found it cute when Ryou would stumble over his words.

"I...," the white haired boy felt his cheeks becoming stained red.

//Damn it you brat! Listen to me, I swear I will leave if you don't!// Bakura thought that Ryou would do what he said after he heard that, he knew his light was afraid of being alone. He growled obviously he used this threat too much on the boy, //Fine, be that way. If you go I'll take him just like I did to you. I'll make him suffer, make him wish he never laid his eyes on you.// Bakura smirked triumphantly as he felt his lights eyes widen.

The pale boy put his books back in his bag and got up from his desk, "I should really go home. I promised my father I would help him with something." He hated lying to his friends but it was better then risking their safety. He looked back up at Honda smiling as best he could, "Maybe some other time."

Honda sighed as he watched the smaller boy walk out the room, 'Why isn't he telling me the truth? He told us yesterday that his father left for Egypt the night before... Something is up and I am going to find out what it is!', he thought as he left the room, 'I'll stop by the arcade to tell everyone that I can't stay then head over to Ryou's to check on him.'

~Always together
Temptation has torn us apart
Lies last forever
The only way out is a clean start~

Ryou kept his eyes on the ground as he made his way home, he felt terrible about lying to Honda. But he knew it was to keep his friend safe, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he got hurt because of him.

//You made the right choice, though it would have been fun to hear him scream in pain.// He laughed when Ryou tried to shut him out, //He would have just left you in the end. Your just going to end up alone either way really. Your mothers gone, your sisters dead and your father constantly making up excuses so he doesn't have to put up with seeing your pitiful face day after day.// He growled in frustration as he was being ignored, //You think that's going to shut me up? You know its just going to make things even worse for you, maybe I should show you what I mean when you get home.// he laughed and continued to taunt the boy.

Ryou started to cry, "Please Bakura... Stop it." He covered his ears in an attempt to stop the insane laughter that rang through his head. He opened the door of his home fully expecting Bakura to come barging out of a room yelling at him about being home late. He looked around the house finding it empty. "He must be out again drinking with Marik... or probably helping him torture poor Malik," he sighed he wished that he was the only one to go through this pain, he wished that Malik didn't have to go through the same thing as him. He entered the living room again, dropping to his knees crying harder while clutching his sides. He lost track of time, he didn't know how long he was there on the floor crying, he jumped up as he heard pounding on the door, 'Bakura probably forgot his key again...' He shakily walked over to the door while crying and opened it up. "H-Honda!," he yelled surprised, "What are you doing here?" He stepped aside as he entered, "Y-You shouldn't be here." He looked up at him, 'I should have known that he wouldn't give up.'

"Tell me what's wrong Ryou... You don't need to hide anything from me. I don't understand why you keep pushing me away."

"I'm not hiding anything... You should really go," Ryou looked down at the ground, tears still falling from is eyes.

"Then why are you crying?," The brown haired boy took a step closer, tilting Ryou's face up and wiping away the tears with his free hand. His eyes widened a bit as Ryou dove forward, burying his head in his chest crying harder. He wrapped his arms around Ryou, "Sh, tell me what's wrong?"

"H-He said he was going to hurt you if I didn't listen to him," he sobbed as he held onto the bother boy.

Honda looked down at the pale white haired boy, "Who?"

"Bakura... He said that if I didn't listen to him he would hurt you. I don't care what happens to me I just don't want you to get hurt."

Honda looked down at Ryou, "I should have known it had something to do with him! I'm going to make him pay for making you cry like this!"

Ryou shook his head, "No, He'll hurt you. I don't want to see you hurt!" The white hair boy gasped as Honda picked him up, "What are you doing?!"

"You need to rest," Honda simply replied bringing Ryou to his room laying him down on the bed.

"Honda? Can you lay down with me?," he tried to stop crying and smiled a little as Honda nodded. "Thank you...," Ryou yawned as he snuggled close to him.

"Its not a problem," Honda put his arm around the other as he stroked Ryou's white hair.

Ryou stiffened as he heard Bakura's voice in his head, //Just you wait til I get home hikari.//

"I'll protect you from him Ryou... I swear I will," he told him as he sensed Ryou's sudden discomfort.

The white haired hikari smiled while sniffling, "Thank you."

//He's going to leave you.//

"Please don't go," Ryou begged in a small whisper.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, get some sleep."

"You'll be here when I wake up?," he asked while looking up.

Honda smiled and nodded, "I swear."

"I love you...," Ryou whispered before falling asleep.

He smiled as he felt Ryou's breathing becoming even, "I love you too." Honda whispered and kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and listened to the others breathing.

Words that weren't intended to be said
Though your pride fights to the bitter end...~


(1) - This is a habit of mine, when I want to be left alone usually when I am writing poems or just in a bad mood, I sit in my closet @_@ Yes I know its a bit odd but it really does help me concentrate. I have a little blanket and pillow at the bottom to lay on, I love writing in there. Its so nice and quiet, mostly because my parents have yet to figure out my hiding place.

0_0 That was like the most twisted thing I have ever wrote, no seriously it is. It was also the longest one-shot I have ever written. I know I torture Ryou alot... But I love him! I do! The song I used I have no freaking clue who sings it, after I came up with the title for this I wanted to add a song in so I went looking around online for something, then I found these lyrics at lyrics.com This was just a one-shot but if I get some pretty good reviews I could be persuaded to write more ~_^
~Yami Sango