Looking Interested Not Desperate

Remember back in Chapter 5, when we said the best way to get someone to like you was to like them? It follows that, if you want someone to be interested in you, you should express interest in that person first. There are any number of ways you can show interest in someone without looking desperate. The most important factor here is your intent.

If you are a reasonably happy person who enjoys life and who simply wants someone in your life with whom you can share that enjoyment, you will probably have little difficulty attracting someone. People like to be around other people who are happy. The old adage, "smile, and the world smiles with you," is a wonderful rule to follow in your efforts to become more seductive.

If you're not a very happy person, and you feel you simply must attract somebody in order for your life—or your self—to be complete, you will exude an aura of neediness that will turn off prospective partners in a heartbeat. Why? There are several reasons.

• You are placing the responsibility for your well-being on someone else's shoulders, and that is an awesome responsibility nobody can live up to.

• You are communicating an attitude that your need is so great that anybody can make you feel better about yourself. The person you're with will feel that his or her single greatest asset where you're concerned is merely proximity. That's hardly the way to make someone feel special—and if your partner doesn't feel special, he or she will not be open to being seduced.

• Finally, if you come across as someone who is generally unhappy, the people you really want to attract will avoid you in droves. The only people you will attract will be the ones who feel compelled to heal every "wounded bird" they encounter, and they will put all their energy into "fixing" you. Believe me, while therapy can be of great benefit, it has no place in a romantic relationship. It gets very old, very fast. To finish the old saying I mentioned earlier, "cry, and you cry alone."

Continue reading here: Ask the Love Coach

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