Friday, May 29, 2015

THE MAGIC KEY OF RCA (July 24, 1939)

Ed Gardner and Ransom Sherman
According to Jay Hickerson's Ultimate Guide book, the July 24, 1939 radio broadcast of The Magic Key of RCA is not known to exist in recorded form. This is sad as it marks an early appearance of Ed Gardner as Archie, pre-dating the popularly-known  and talked about 1940 Forecast audition, and the long-running Duffy's Tavern. During the broadcast, Archie talks to Colonel Stoopnagle, making numerous references to Duffy’s Bar and Grill, and telling the story of Two-Top Gruskin. Archie also assisted with the RCA commercial with announcer Ben Grauer. There was originally supposed to be a second sketch, but during rehearsals the sequence was scratched out to ensure the program ended on time. For your entertainment is a reprint from that radio script of the Archie-Ben Grauer-Colonel Stoopnagle dialogue and the deleted sequence that never aired.
ARCHIE: Hello, Colonel Stoopnagle.
STOOP: Hello, Archie.
STOOP: Say, Ben, this is the fellow I was telling you about.
GRAUER: Oh, Archie, the native New Yorker.
ARCHIE: Hello, Mr. Grauer. You know, listening to you fellows talk about New York made me feel kinda sad. New York just ain’t the same no more.
STOOP: What do you mean, New York just ain’t the same no more?
ARCHIE: I mean, New York just ain’t the same no more. My father used to say, “Archie, New York ain’t the same no more.” And before him, way back in 1870, my grandfather used to say New York ain’t the same no more. Personally, I don’t think New York ever was the same no more.
STOOP: Well, I think New York is pretty nice, especially if you want a good time. What do you do for divertissement, Archie?
ARCHIE: For what?
STOOP: Well I mean, where do you hang out?
ARCHIE: Oh. Well, for divertissement, I hang out in an establishment known as Duffy’s Bar and Grill.
STOOP: Sounds like a place with that certain air of distinction.
ARCHIE: Yes and no. It has a little distinction, but I guess that’s because there ain’t any air in the joint.
STOOP: What is the attraction at Duffy’s?
ARCHIE: Duffy, himself. You never on your life saw a man who could stand up so straight and look so stupid.
STOOP: Well, how old a man is this Duffy?
ARCHIE: Well, he ain’t sure whether he’s 38 or 56. All he knows is he was born in 1894.
STOOP: Sounds like a high grade imbecile.
ARCHIE: Yeah. Swell fellow. You ought to see how he runs our ball team, the Duffy Bar and Grill A.C.
STOOP: Duffy is the manager?
ARCHIE: The smartest in baseball on account that he ain’t got no brains. Who turned Bow-Legged Harrigan into a second baseman?
STOOP: Duffy?
ARCHIE: Duffy. He figures Harrigan is so bow-legged that if a grounder goes through his legs, the shortstop can go right through after it. And what about Gorilla Hogan, the greatest catcher that ever lived?
STOOP: A Duffy discovery?
ARCHIE: A Duffy discovery. What a man. He runs with the speed of a canteloupe. You ought to see the Gorilla. He looks like he just stepped out of a jungle. A natural born catcher. Stands six feet fourteen inches high, and squats standing up. The only reason anybody thinks of him as Hogan is because that was his father’s name.
STOOP: He sounds pretty terrifying.
ARCHIE: He is. He used to be a fighter, but they had to bar him from the ring; he was too tough. In his last fight he fought a fellow named Battling Cassidy. The first thing happens when they come to the center of the ring to shake hands. The Gorilla shakes Cassidy’s hand, and immediately Cassidy goes down for the count of eight. Then when they start to fight, the Gorilla lifts up his fist and brings it down on top of Cassidy’s hand so hard that from that day to this the guy is known as Concerting Cassidy.
STOOP: What a powerful man!
ARCHIE: Colonel Stoopnagle, I can safely say that he is the most powerful man, if he is indeed a man, who ever drew the breath of life, if indeed he does draw the breath of life. Let me read you his ring measurements. Gorilla Hogan: ankles - 38. Waist - 53. Biceps - 23. Neck - none. Chest - expanding and 53.
STOOP: And this… this… thing is the catcher on your ball team?
ARCHIE: The only guy in the world who could catch Two-Top Gruskin.
STOOP: Oh, Two-Top Gruskin is your pitcher?
ARCHIE: Well, he used to be. And there’s another example of Duffy’s genius. One day Duffy says to Dugan the shortstop, “Dugan, we got a great ball team here, but I’m afraid it lacks color. What’s the answer?” So Dugan says, “Color, eh?” Well, this may not be it, Duffy, but I think I know where I can lay my hands on a pitcher with two heads.” So Duffy says, “A pitcher with two heads? I don’t know, Dugan, do you think it’d be a novelty?” So Dugan says, “Well, what if it ain’t? You can’t pass up a pitcher that can watch first base and third base at the same time.” So Duffy says, “It’s an angle. And besides, the guy would be a natural for double-headers.”
STOOP: Now, Archie, did you actually see his two headed pitcher yourself?
ARCHIE: Certainly. I remember the night he first walked into Duffy’s Bar -- dressed up formal -- to sign his contract. Everybody in the joint was staring at him.
STOOP: I should think they would.
ARCHIE: Yeah. So Two-Top turns his two heads to the crowd and says, “What are you starin’ at? None of you guys ever see a tuxedo before?” Well, Duffy quickly covers his embarrassment. He says, “Waiter, bring two beers for this man.” Then he turns to Gruskin and says, “Two-Top, I’m a man of few words. Report tomorrow morning. There’s a uniform and two caps waiting for you in the locker room.”
STOOP: Well, how did Two-Top get along with Gorilla Hogan?
ARCHIE: Not quite as well as you’d naturally expect.
STOOP: They didn’t hit it off, eh?
ARCHIE: Frankly, no. The trouble starts right in the first game. The Gorilla signals for a fast curve, so Two-Top nods one head and shakes the other. Well, this is very confusing to the Gorilla, who ain’t so bright anyway, so he throws down his glove and makes a bee-line for Duffy. “Duffy,” he says, “I’m getting’ good and sick and tired of two headed pitches -- I quit.” So Duffy says, “Now wait a minute, Gorilla. Don’t get hot headed. Go out there and talk it over with the guy. After all, three heads is better than one.” But the Gorilla says, “Nope. It’s no use. I just can’t help feelin’ that the guy ain’t normal. One of us will have to go, Duffy, and don’t forget who owns the baseball.”
STOOP: And that was Two-Top’s finish, eh?
ARCHIE: Yeah. It was pretty sad, the way the lumps came up in his throats when Duffy told him. Well, I gotta run along Colonel Stoopnagle. The Gorilla’s down in the barber shop havin’ his chest shampooed and he’s waitin’ for me. I’ll be seein’ ya, huh?
STOOP: Wait a minute, Archie, before you go. What finally became of the two headed pitcher?
ARCHIE: Who, Two-Top? Oh, he went back to his old job. Watchin’ tennis matches for Pathe News. Well, so long Colonel Stoopnagle.


STOOP: Come in.
ARCHIE: Colonel Stoopnagle, my name is Archie. I’m the detective from down the hall.
STOOP: My name is Stoopnagle. I’m the detective from up the hall. Meet Ben Grauer, he’s the detective from up the creek.
ARCHIE: How do you do. I just thought I’d drop in to pay a social call, us being neighbors, and both detectives. How’s business?
STOOP: Well, it’s pretty slow. How can we possibly compete with those low priced Chinese detectives?
ARCHIE: Yeah, it’s a tough year in our business. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, Crudface Clifford, a safe cracker. And you know when those fellows don’t work, we don’t work. He says to me, “Archie, things certainly are bad in my game. You remember I used to crack safes? I made a good living, drove my own stolen car, was well thought of in the community… now look at me. I’m out picking pockets like a common thief.”
STOOP: What a comedown. I have a friend, a fellow who used to make counterfeit fifties and hundreds. Just recently he had to make up a line of phony two dollar bills to retail for 39 cents. So what happens? He works like a dog turning out counterfeit dough, and his wife spends it faster than he can make it.
ARCHIE: Yeah, it’s tough. This year us detectives got wallets to match our feet.
STOOP: The Whodunit Detective Agency, Stoopnagle speaking. Huh? Oh. It’s for you, Archie.
ARCHIE: Thanks. Hello? Oh, yes, Mr. B. I’ll be right over to your house.
ARCHIE: I have to go right out on a case, Colonel. Could I borrow some dog biscuits from you?
STOOP: Dog biscuits? Whose house are you going to?
ARCHIE: The Baskervilles.
STOOP: He’ll probably be hounded to death.

This script excerpt is featured in the new book, Duffy's Tavern: A History of Ed Gardner's Radio Program (2014, Bear Manor Media). You can purchase a copy of the book at

Friday, May 22, 2015

The Unsolved Mystery of Bob Hope

Doris Day and Bob Hope


Both telegrams courtesy of Jerry McKeown.

After reading the first telegram, this one is ironic.






Now the mystery...

A Bob Hope 78 released through Capitol Records.

Producer: Jack Zoller
Director: Jack Zoller
Program Announcer: Walter Huston
Commercial Announcer: Gayne Whitman
Music Composer: Robert Armbruster
Music Conductor: Robert Armbruster

Photo taken during actual Cavalcade of America performance!


Sunday, May 10, 2015

History of SPERDVAC

1999 Convention. Fred Foy and John Hart


June Foray at the SPERDVAC dinner banquet.

Frankie Thomas as Tom Corbett

Barbara Fuller

Stan Freeberg


Actress Shirley Mitchell

Gil Stratton





Friday, May 8, 2015

Greta Garbo's One and Only Radio Appearance




Mention of Garbo's "first radio appearance" in The Washington Post.









One recording not known to exist is the August 15, 1954 broadcast of Weekend, where Garbo appeared as a guest on the “Woman’s Page” spot, but her appearance was taped in advance and broadcast during the program.

In Closing

Friday, May 1, 2015

Dick Tracy: A Review of 1940

When last we left Dick Tracy at the end of the calendar year of 1939, Tracy finally caught up with Stooge Villar who turned the tables on the detective. Strangling the life out of Dick Tracy over the fire escape, Stooge failed to notice his young daughter picking up the gun and fearful of the end result of the scuffle, orders Stooge to let go of Dick Tracy or she will shoot. But the girl hesitates and comes to reality that she cannot pull the triggger. "I can't shoot my own father!" the girl cries. Then the following happens which is best described by reading the next panel for January 2, 1940.

Stooge, wounded, attempts to escape and Dick Tracy apprehends him. The villain dies in the hospital but not before he asks Dick Tracy to honor a final request. Don't tell his daughter that he died. Tracy tells her Stooge went back to the Big House.

In one of the city's largest department stores, Tracy is purchasing luggage for his boss, who celebrates his 30th anniversary on the force. There, the detective finds an abandonded baby in a wardrobe case. Trying to figure who the mother is, and why she would abandon a baby in the manner she did is a puzzle. The solution plays like a soap opera for a couple weeks until the truth be known: Mr. Kroywen (New York spelled backward) is a wealthy industrialist who sent his son (the father of the baby) to South America to work on a coffee planation. The mother is Toby, who rerturns after a two year absense from the comic strip. Mr. Kroywen, as Toby explains, wants to use their baby in an experiment. For years Mr. Kroywen has tried to perfect a serum that would cure Tropic sleep, a disase that takes hundreds of babies' lives every year on his rubber planation. Before Tracy and the police can stop him, Mr. Kroywen has already stolen the baby and infected it with the disease. Tracy, with no medical experience and against the will of any doctor in the city, facing a scandal, injects the infant with the experimental serum. Tracy plays Dr. Kildare for a while and throughout the month of February, Tracy faces a murder charge if the baby dies but the child pulls through and the late Mr. Kroywen is hailed as a genius. Tracy is relieved and returns to duty.

When an amnesia victim is treated with special care by Dick Tracy, who intends to help the beautiful girl figure out her identity, the young girl turns out to be a professional singer. Working with Rudy Seton (Notes speleld backward) on his live band remotes from a city night club, she gains the attention of radio listeners... untilsomeone take a shot at her and misses. The trail leads to Chief Brandon's old friend, Mr. Mason, who owns a machine shop outside of town. Mason looks like Charles Laughton and probably talks in the same manner, revealing Chester Gould was still using Hollywood movies and actors as models for his characters. When Tracy proves Mr. Mason was behind the shooting because he was afraid the amnesia victim would remember a murder committed in his factory, the arrest proves Tracy right an Brandon wrong.

Towards the end of April, we are introduced to two new characters, one larger than life. But by 1940, Gould began creating fictional characters who wore their sins through physical traits that would become Gould's trademark for the comic strip. With that reason, it stands to say that this is the moment we have all been looking forward to. Villains who were more memorable than the capers they created. Dick Tracy would never be the same.

The two characters in question are Jerome the midget and Mamma, a larger-than-life fat lady who has a sweet tooth when it comes to cholcolates. Jerome uses a giant dog as his means of escape because he can hold on to the dog's scruff and ride the animal like a joeky rides a horse. In the hopes of pulling off a number of daring robberies, Jerome orders his men to kidnap Dick Tracy and forcing the detective against a desk, breaks his right hand between a metal vice. Knowing the detective isn't quick with a gun with his left hand, the midget can feel confident that he has a chance of success.

Pat Patton uses the chocolate wrapper as a means of tracking down Mamma, but his efforts fail when the fat woman proves to be too strong for little ol' Pat. When Mamma happens to be in a store buying food and orders her dog to attack Junior's puppy, the young boy gives Dick Tracy a clue. 

Tracing her whereabouts, Tracy gets the upper hand. After smashing their crime spree operation and returning most of the stolen money, Dick Tracy takes Mamma in (after giving her a serious beating) and Jerome manages to escape. Riding out of town in a box car, Jerome finds himself accepted as a midget for a traveling circus and poses as a rodeo cowboy. Using this means of disguise, Jerome's act is caught on a newsreel camera where Mamma, now in the pen, watches the film and contacts Dick Tracy. Feeling betrayed by her sweetheart, Mamma gives the tip to Tracy who tracks down the whereabouts of Jerome. Mamma also escapes and sets out to exact revenge on the little man. Trapping the midget in an outside shower stall at a log cabin camp, Mamma uses hot water to scould the midget to death. Dick Tracy manages to out-maneuver the fat woman and take her into custody. Jerome, on the other hand, dies from the scoulding burns.

On board a train headed back into town, Dick Tracy meets Yogee Yamma, a fake hindu who uses an experimental chemical to control other people's will and minds so he can rob them during his performances. When Pat Patton and Dick Tracy attempt to arrest Yogee, they are exposed to the chemical (Yogee's nostrils are clogged) and soon find themselves hypnotized by the crooked mystic. 

The second time Tracy captures up with Yogee Yamma, at an airport, he falls for the same ploy and wakes to wonder what happened while Chief Brandon raises cain about the Yogee's second escape. Eventually Dick Tracy discovers how Yogee is able to pull off the stunt. The man responsible for creating the chemical is known as The Professor and as demonstrated in the panel below, the reason why Yogee keeps The Professor trapped under ground with ball and chain.

After trailing Yogee to the underground abandoned subway, Dick Tracy and The Professor find themselves victim to a death trap. The air compressor is shut off from the outside and with no way out, the quicksand and water start rushing in. A truck in the city streets falls through the asphalt which caves in and Tracy finds himself a rescue.

Yogee, however, faces a death from the hand of fate. Checking into a hotel, he gets drunk and falls asleep -- the bed catched on fire as a result of his cigarette and the man dies in a fiery inferno.

The second-to-last story arc for 1940 was clearly adapted (loosely) for Republic's 1941 cliffhanger serial, Dick Tracy vs. Crime, Inc. Here, Pat Patton follows the trail of an explosive device in the post office to foreign spies who create a land tank that goes beneath the water and flies through the air. Hoping to demonstrate her new weapon to foreign countries who would like to purchase such as weapon, she forces Dick Tracy and Pat Patton as guinea pigs for the vehicle's first submersion. Under water, Dick Tracy finds cables leading outside and uses Morse code to communicate with the outside world. At the public water works system, a man overhears the code and sends for help. When the police arrive, Tracy and Pat join in the shootout and the criminals are apprehended.

The final story arc involves Junior and a get-rich-quick scheme. When a few crooks trick Junior into operating a parking lot for high school kids with bicycles, then arrange for a smash-up job, the crooks also provide new bikes at a discount that the parents cannot afford to turn down. But when one of the fathers discovers the bikes are stolen and painted, he sends for the police. Junior explains a plot to unravel the crooks and their scheme but they qucikly turn the tables on the boy, running him over with their truck as they make a getaway. Tracy returns to town to discover Junior is in the hospital.

Deafy, in charge of the operation, attempts to flee the scene when Dick Tracy and Pat Patton attempt to round up the crooks. Deafy finds himself caught in a shed and exposed to a skunk (how appropriate since he himself is a skunk). When he attempts to make a getaway by hiding in a truck filled with Christmas trees, Dick Tracy follows his nose and apprehends the crook.

Again, I highly endorse the Dick Tracy comic strip reprints from IDW Publishing, being offered chronologically. By now they have at least fourteen volumes printed and more coming soon!

Next time we revisit Dick Tracy we'll explore 1941 and the year that colorful characters start making their entrance.