Sick Child in Hospital

Updated on September 08, 2013
P.M. asks from Lindale, TX
19 answers

My ten year old daughter is in the hospital again (this is the 15th time in a year) she has a kidney disease. Every time we come to the hospital ,and we live 2 hours from it, i never have money i barely have gas money to get here. I dont have money to eat and let me tell you they sure dont have anything free here lol except water. I do bring my own food sometimes when i have it to bring but even then i usually run out because i never know how long we will be here. My question is who do i talk to for help?? Social Services (if you can actually get someone to answer your call) is no help because they just say oh have you applied for food stamps?? Really?? Anyway we are here again at the childrens hospital and i dont even have the cash to pay the rude people in the parking garage so i can leave. And they are very rude. Last time i had no money they looked at me like whatever lady and said i can get in trouble for letting u go without paying...well what the hell am i supossed to do stand on a street corner ?? My daughter had been in hospital for two weeks and noone bothered to tell me they have parking passes 12 dollars a week so i had to pay 2 dollars for every day!! I really need help. I cant even focus on my baby because im always worried about money

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answers from Washington DC on

I have a chronic illness and the hospital always sends their own social worker to see me when I've been admitted. That way, they know whether I have everything I will need at home by the time I am released. Fortunately, though it's always a financial strain, I haven't needed social services to go home, but I love knowing they are there if I did.
We haven't asked for any freebies, but sometimes they were passed to us anyway because they knew I was a single mom with two kids. Hopkins gave us parking passes. Holy Cross provided a box lunch (sandwiches, apples, cookies, and milk) for my parents who visited everyday.

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answers from Washington DC on

The children's hospital here in Baltimore uses the Ronald McDonald House - and offers families of sick children housing and food while their children are in the hospital.

While it sounds crude? Find a campground near the hospital and camp instead of trying to "wing" it.

What disease does your daughter have? Find the foundation or charity that is working on curing the disease and ask them for help.

Can you find a hospital closer to your home that can help your daughter?

Go to the office of the hospital. Tell them your issues. They should GIVE you a parking pass, especially for the length of stay and amount of time you will be there. I know our hospital did that for my girlfriend and her husband when she was put in the hospital during her multiple child birth.

ASK questions at the hospital. Tell them what you need. Don't just accept "this is how it is". TALK to administrators. TALK to foundations. TALK to local churches...they might have people who are willing to open their homes to families of sick children.

Who takes care of your other children while you are away?
Do you have family or friends in the area of the hospital who can help you out?

Have you talked to social services? Did you sign up to see what you could qualify for?

As to the parking garage? Sorry. It's a business. It's typically NOT associated with the hospital. So on that front - I don't feel sorry for you. You knowingly parked in an area where you KNEW you would have to pay. You HAVE to get a ticket to get IN the parking it's not like you didn't know about the fees/costs. If they let everyone who said "I can't afford it" park there without paying - they wouldn't be in business long, now would they? In my opinion? It's rude of you to park someplace where you KNEW you had to pay and didn't have the money and expect them to provide for you....they might be rude - but wonder just how many "sob stories" they hear a day....

Can you park on the street? Are their other options to park? Where are you staying now? If it's a hotel - is there a bus service that can take you to the hospital. Our Children's Hospital offers free rides from metro stops and to two hotels that work with the hospital for long term patients.

You need to let the doctors focus on your child. what you NEED to do? Start talking to hospital administrators and social services...get a 3-ring binder - get the paper and dividers. Separate every thing out....

Daughter specific:
* Care
* Maintenance of medications
* doctors instructions

* Parking
* Social Services
* Foundations

You need to have an envelope to keep all your receipts in. You'll have to talk to an accountant to find out what is and is not tax deductible for her care.

Take this book with you EVERYWHERE. Pen, paper, highlighter.
Write down WHO you talk with.
WHEN you spoke with them.
WHAT was said.
dates, times, numbers, office number (not just phone number but an actual office number).
Conclusion of conversation....

You cannot expect people to do stuff for you. You have to take control....this book will help you take control...and KNOW what is going on. So when you talk to a foundation and they say "we can't help you" or something else - you state well, Jane Doe from Children's Hospital told me to talk with. We spoke on 01/01/13 and she stated...blah blah blah...

You need to set up a budget with your husband as well. Even with your daughter's father - he needs to be responsible too.

Hope this helps!

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I used to work in healthcare, and there is usually a foundation that has free housing for parents of sick kids. Contact the patient representative and let them know what you are going through. They usually have a list of resources...everything from food banks to transportation to lodging.

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Wichita Falls on

Is there a Ronald McDonald house near the hospital? It is a charity that helps provide food and housing for family of sick kids undergoing treatment so the family can be near the child. Google Ronald McDonald House and your area to see what they can offer.

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I second and third Ronald McDonald House. They will look at your Net Income and base your ability and length of stay off of it.

My daughter was in and out of Children's Hospitals for the first 6 months of her life. I saved up and had an account for the parking fees. I have money to eat, but found it easier to just bring a bag of food, and take time between visits to go to the grocery store.

Parking Lots cost, never has changed. They were not being rude, they were just doing their jobs. NO ONE needs to bother to tell you about the cost of parking, you should be reading the sign when you enter. There are lots and free parking a few blocks away from our hospital. I usually park there for long term and walk or take a bus to the hospital.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

First of all, I am sorry that your child is sick. I know that has to be devastating to you to see your child in pain in the hospital.

That said.... this is not the first go around with being in the hospital. You know as well as we do that nothing is free. Why have you not discussed this issue with your daughter's caregivers to see if they can direct you to the proper channels for social service?

You are not "required" to park in the parking garage. I know you feel the attendant was "rude" but in reality, YES they can lose their job by letting people leave without paying.

Are you at Children's in Dallas or Plano? If so, I know that they are very open with parents and do everything in their power to help. You need to speak to the social services at the hospital.

Who's paying for your child's coverage at the hospital? Do you have insurance working with you? Talk to them....

I know there is more to this than the parking fees but it is up to you to seek out the channels for help and work for it........ People, hospitals, social workers, are not going to seek you out and just hand over funds,

In the meantime, keep detailed records of your expenses with receipts so you can show the proper authorities what you are doing. It is a lot easier to get help when you are actively working for it and demonstrating that you are trying to be responsible vs someone who just wants to get funding.

I do hope you daughter is on her way to recovery. Bless her.

8 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Have you signed up for benefits? Foodstamps? Medicaid? They are not set up to take calls all day. You seem to have the internet, so sign up online, and usually everything can be done over the phone. A case worker is sent all your info and will review what you qualify for. Prepare to have last years W2 forms, copies of check stubs, a print out of your latest bank statement, and copies of your rent or mortgage bill and utility bills. (Those are typically what is asked for, to prove expenses.) Ask the hospital for resources. Contact Salavtion Army and Ronald McDonald House. They both help with medical costs.

Also, paying $2 a day, is only $2 less then the $12 parking pass. You do know it costs to park. So, you shouldn't be parking there knowing you have to pay. It's not THEIR fault you have to pay or their fault you parked with no intention of paying. They are doing their job and you are wanting an exception. They CAN get in trouble, and you are asking them to potentially be reprimanded or lose their jobs for you. I get that you are under an incredible amount of stress and financial strain. However, you are spending your energy being mad at people (that you have no right to be mad at) instead of taking action. Stop blaming other people for doing what they are supposed to, and start signing up for benefits!!!

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

You said your daughter has been hospitalized for the 15th time in a year. This is not new to you or your family. I know you are probably upset about your daughter, but you seem to be gripping about a lot of things not directly related to her care, but your inconvenience. Maybe people would be more willing to help you if you changed your attitude. Have you done what social services suggested--have you applied for food stamps? Do you qualify for food stamps? Perhaps if your family was eligible for food stamps, you could have more food to bring, or you might have more cash for gas. If you have been there for two weeks this trip, you have plenty of time to walk down to social work department and ask for a list of resources that YOU could check into-you just can't make demands on things for your personal convenience. What type of care is your daughter getting? That is what you should be most concerned about.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

So you know the parking pass would have saved you a whole $2 per week, right? Not worth fighting over. And NOTHING is free, why are the parking people rude for not letting you out for free? You do realize if they do that then they could be out of a job and be in the same shoes?

I am very sorry your daughter is sick, but if she is 10 and has been fighting this for some time, I fail to see why you haven't talked to someone before. If you even mentioned this to a nurse or doctor, they would have had a patient rep come see you - most hospitals have that anyways, why didn't you tell that person?

6 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

How is it rude to mention they can get in trouble for letting you out without paying? They can get fired for that. Do you really think their job is only worth two dollars? I understand being under stress makes you see things differently which is why I mention this because I would like to think you don't really believe it is rude for someone to not want to be fired.

I have no idea what hospital you are talking about but is the parking garage the only option? I know they tend to be the easiest option but when I don't have the money for parking I find a place to park that is free. Maybe just me, I would rather walk that risk not being let out of a garage.

I wish I had better advice. My son was in the hospital for several months and it was over an hour drive to visit him. Not fun.

Oh and maybe this will make you feel better, the parking pass would have only saved you two bucks.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Cumberland on

Call Catholic Charities ###-###-####

There should be an advocate within the hospital that can help you get some assistance. Foods stamps might be a good idea for your family-they would take care of most of the food for your family and free up other money for hospital stays. You may even be able to get Temporary Cash Assistance through Social Services.

National Kidney Foundation: 1-###-###-####

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

The social services department is supposed to take care of patients and their families that are in this situation. Your daughter should be your first priority.

I'd say tell the hospital you'll need a tray. I'd think they have to supply a family member staying with a child who is inpatient. That child can't be by herself so you are basically stranded there.

I'd also call some churches and see if they have any welfare type programs where they help people in need. A local church who participates in the national food program might have more resources too.

I feel bad for you. I think the local newspaper might like a story that tells how this hospital is treating the families it is supposed to be serving.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

I know my childrens hospital has a program to help with insurance. You could look into financial aid at the hospital.
I would try to find parking that doesn't cost money. Your hospital may know where some is. My childrens lets you park free but you have to get the pass stamped. Otherwise, its $25 per day.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Are you at the hospital on a regular basis - as in, you know in advance when you'll be going - or do you just go whenever she gets sick? Are you there in the room with her all the time? If you know when you'll be going, and you're not always in the room with her, maybe you could look into doing some work in the area whenever you are at the hospital for an extended time. Perhaps sign up as a local babysitter, work in the hospital gift shop or cafeteria, etc. It sounds like you're there at least once a month, so maybe you could do something to earn a little more money while you're there.

If you don't have enough money to pay for food, find a local food bank. They can provide you with some staples and then you can put the extra money toward gas and parking fees. It will also make you less worried about having enough to eat. Peanut butter and a loaf of bread can go a long way and don't require refrigeration, so it's easy to take with you to the hospital. It's boring to eat every day, but it can be filling and it's cheap. When you run out of the food you brought, go to a local market and not the hospital cafeteria - you can get a lot more for your money.

The parking garage probably isn't owned/run by the hospital, so maybe you can contact the parking management and work out a discounted rate with them. I don't think you should blame them for not letting you out of the garage for free. It's not their fault you can't pay and you used their service, so you shouldn't expect to get it for free. Plus, how do they know you're telling the truth and not just trying to get out of it? Don't blame the garage employees.

Do you have a talent or skill? Is there some kind of work you could do in the hospital room? Are you crafty? Do you sew? Can you blog? You need to start finding ways to bring in more money.

And have you applied for food stamps? Really? And if not, why not? It would be incredibly helpful to you. Do you have any younger children? If you have kids under 5, you may also be eligible for WIC.

I am very, very sorry that you're in this situation. I can't imagine having a sick child and living so far from a good hospital. Nor can I imagine what it's like to not have enough money for food. That said, you need to take more responsibility for your situation. Be more proactive about getting help - go to food banks, church (if you belong to one), social services and apply for all the help you can get. On top of that, figure out a way to bring in more money. There are always ways to make some extra cash - you just need to be creative and think about what you can do given your situation.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I understand your frustration but if money is so tight WHY would you park in the garage? I know street parking can be a pain but it's better than wasting money you don't have and getting into it with some parking attendant who's only doing his job.
Hospitals have many community resources they can direct you to. Go to the information desk and tell them specifically what you're looking for (a place to stay while you're in town? a soup kitchen or food bank?) and they can point you in the right direction.
I hope your daughter is doing well and I hope your husband is being more supportive than he was the last time you posted :-(

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Talk to the social worker in the hospital. They can help you temporarily.

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answers from Tampa on

SPeak to the Hospital's Social Worker. If they wont answer your call go down to the office or have the Nurse put a call into them

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answers from Los Angeles on

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Definitely always bring your own home packed lunch. My husb & I did this
when our child was in the hospital.
Look for parking on the the street.
Look into any assistance from Medi-care.
Talk to the hospital director to see if you can get any sort of pass since
your daughter is there for long term care.
Wishing you & your daughter the best.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I am a clinical social worker in a hospital. The social workers in peds at our hospital are very involved and proactive about outreach to parents. If they have not checked in with you yet, make sure you have the nurse page them to come to the floor!

1 mom found this helpful
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