1. Make yourself appear as small and non-threatening as possible.

2. Wear comfortable, practical clothing. Something that will make you seem approachable and that doesn’t show any skin.

3. Keep body language open and inviting. Never cross your arms.

5. Lower the volume of your voice and speak in a congenial tone. Avoid sounding harsh or shrill. Never yell.

4. Bring treats!

6. Position yourself as a best friend type, not an enemy who is out to “get them.” Maybe see if they want to toss around a tennis ball or something?

7. Call them “Buddy.”

8. Build confidence by acknowledging that yes, they are a “good boy” for simply sitting and not playing with their junk in public. Note: you may need to repeat this several times.

9. Don’t get frustrated if it seems like they’re completely ignoring everything you’re saying and just standing there staring at squirrels.

10. Apologize for doing your job.

11. Be prepared for a load of shit.

- - -

Training a feral dog: 1-11
Correcting a male colleague: 1-11