Monday, March 15, 2010

Shelby said to me after lunch, "You know hot dogs look like weenies." I said, "Yes, they do." She said, "That's why I really don't like to eat them." Very wise.

This morning our house stinks. Garrett ran in to the bathroom, where I was brushing her hair, without his diaper. His butt cheeks did look really cute, so I decided to give them a little pat and then set my naked little dude on my lap. When he got off, there was poop on my leg. Gross. Shelby said, "I am so glad that I didn't hold him. That is dis-gus-ting!" Luckily when he had disrobed himself in front of the TV, the poop stayed IN his diaper. Yes, there is a God.

Our house not only stinks from Garrett's poop bombs, but from yucky wet kitty food that Gavin has officially banned, and kitty litter. I refuse to be one of those stinky houses. Oh, and there were old flowers. And you know what old flower water is like...worse than kitty litter.

We took Lulu to Shelby's preschool today for show and tell. It was quite an adventure. Thirty kids sitting in a circle ready to pounce on whatever live thing was in the carrier I was holding. Shelby pulled Lulu out to a collective gasp from the five year old crew. Lulu looked around, thinking that this might be worse than the shelter she came from. At least there she was in a confined space with other felines.

We had Lulu's harness and leash on her. I know, don't laugh. Can you tell that my kids REEEALLY need a dog? They would put a harness and leash on a cockroach, if they could walk it to the park and play fetch with it. So, Lulu is sporting her hot pink leash ensemble, and is sniffing around at all the big eye'd children. Shelby let each kid come up, one by one to pet the kitten. They looooved her. Oh, Shelby was the bell of the ball. It was like the perfect combination of the Westminster Dog Show and some barbie movie where all the gorgeous characters break in to song with their singing, sparkly, diamondy, glittering pets.

Things were going great, but then the kids kind of all converged on the kitten at once, and let's just say I have never seen a kitten jump so high in my entire life. It jumped over one of the kids' heads, with Shelby still holding the little pink leash, and trying to reign it back. Lulu continued these bucking bronco moves, outside the circle of children, with them all ooohing and ahhhhing, thinking that this kitten had some seriously sweet tricks that Shelby had taught it. And then, with two more bronco kicks, the kitten had managed to free herself of her harness and leash, and go hide under the snack tables.

Shelby and I cornered her, and managed to get her out, but that was the end of kitten day at the preschool. I have to admit, that after the poop event earlier with Garrett, I was just happy that she hadn't crapped all over the story time rug, or clawed some kid's eyes out. Now, back to the house, to de-stink it. The joys of the day-to-day.


Chip and Lisa said...

I know that the saying, "Misery loves company" is one of the worst saying I know but that is all I could think of when I read your post. Im so glad to know that Im not the only one covered in peep and poop all the time. And who said being a mom isn't glamorous!

Delia said...

Yikes...poop in the lap.
You are such a trooper to take that cat in for Shelby.

Sara said...

I hear you sister! Poop on the walls at our house today!
Solidarity! Yah!

*dry heave*