Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Keep Holding My Hand, Darlings

I posted the following on my FB wall:
Bailey: Tucker let go of my hand.
Webber: You know what happens when people let go of your hand?
Bailey: What?
Webber: You get your hand back.

I was crying over this scene in Grey's Anatomy... the mother in me rejoices each time a son lets go of my hand because it validates our parenting (that they are secured enough to feel they CAN explore and let go of my hand)... but it's true what JKR wrote ...
in her latest novel, that moments like this feel like a death somehow.

Smugly though, I think Pappie Jojo has a harder time letting go... and I think that's largely because I am still pretty secure about my hold over the boys.

Someday though, someone might find me wailing on some street corner... and I hope they'd commiserate :D

Yakee and Yamee... Mommy doesn't want her hand back just yet.
As a SAHM... I literally have to pull a hand away sometimes because Yakee can really be demanding, he will hold a hand hostage while I am doing something else (but usually, when I'm on the computer). And there have been hundreds of times when Yakee ran away from us, eager to explore and just play and defy us.
But I don't think I have felt that feeling that I was left. Not yet. Hubs felt that when Yakee came running inside his school without a kiss and a look back. So far, my boys are still mine.
But everyday I do feel that slow process of needing less of me and becoming more of a child of this world, of this life.  And there are a dozen moments at least, everyday, when it strikes me again how fast they are growing. They need not be tender moments as well... the other day, Yakee got me curled up in pain because he hit me with his knee on the crotch as he jumped on my lap. He was sorry and I was very sad when I explained to him that he is really growing bigger and cannot jump on laps unannounced anymore because he will hurt someone.
And then yesterday, I saw Yamee bounce off the bed and fall flat on his bum... and he didn't cry. he just proceeded on playing rough with his brother (who ends up smothering him with the convertible sofa bed half the time, sigh).
Every day, signs of them growing and fluorishing.
And yes, sometimes, I wonder how parents can take it... then I realize, I am a parent and taking it.
Miracle, is it not?

1 comment:

JMom said...

Well put, Mec. One of the best advice I ever received as a young mom is to cherish every stage that they are at. Because it all goes by so fast.