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25 (Clean) St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Kids

Here are some clean, green, and hilarious jokes for your young ones.

Julia Barnes for Fatherly

St. Patrick’s Day is a strange holiday—exhibit A: leprechauns—but it’s also a fun one. And for kids who aren’t old enough to enjoy a Guinness, funny St. Patrick’s Day jokes can make for a pun time. And speaking of wordplay, there are plenty of St. Patrick’s Day puns that will leave your kids cackling. 

You don’t need to even run out to the store and hoard green-colored food dye to get into the spirit. Because leprechauns are mostly invisible, we can talk about them and joke about them endlessly, all without having to lift a finger. This is what the leprechauns would want you to do. Tell jokes. But, what are the best St. Patrick’s Day jokes for kids?

We’ve rounded up 25 family-friendly and clean St. Patrick’s Day jokes that are bound to make your kids laugh. Get ready to pinch your kids and deal out some groan-worthy St. Patrick’s Day jokes. Here’s the best (and worst) we could come up with.

26. How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland?

When its a French fry.

25. On what musical instrument did the show-off musician play his St. Patrick’s Day tunes?

His brag pipes

24. Why is every day St. Patrick’s Day for TV weathermen?

They stand in front of a green screen every time they go to work.

23. Why was the leprechaun sad on March 18?

It Ain’t Patrick’s Day.

22. Why did the baker pour Coke into her mixer?

She was trying to make soda bread!

21. What did the homesick Dubliner say on St. Patrick’s Day?

Irish I was home.

20. What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?

A Jolly Green Giant.

19. How can you tell an Irishman is having a good time?

He’s Dublin over with laughter!

18. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Because real rocks are too heavy.

17. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?

Because he could not afford plane fare.

16. What kind of spells do leprechaun witches cast?

Lucky Charms!

15. Why is St. Patrick’s Day frogs’ favorite holiday? 

They’re already wearing green.

14. Why are the Irish so concerned about global warming?

They’re really into green living.

13. What happens if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?

You get a rash of good luck!

12. What did the leprechaun referee say when the soccer match ended?

Game clover.

11. What kind of bow can’t be tied?

A rainbow!

10. What’s big and purple and lies next to Ireland?

Grape Britain!

9. Why do leprechauns hate running?

They’d rather jig than jog!

8. Where can you always find gold on St. Patty’s Day?

In the dictionary.

7. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

6. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?

He gets wet, of course.

5. What do you call a big Irish spider?

Paddy long legs!

4. Who was St. Patrick’s favorite superhero?

Green Lantern.

3. Why should you never iron a four-leaf clover?

You don’t want to press your luck.

2. How did the Irish Jig get started?

Too much water to drink and not enough restrooms!

1. Why are so many leprechauns gardeners?

They have green thumbs!