The DECIDE Process

The DECIDE Process
Define: My friend is asking me to
go to a party but I know I'd be
sneaking out behind my parents
backs. This is affecting my social
Explore: I could agree and sneak out
behind my parents' backs but that
would be wrong. Instead, I could say
no thank you or say maybe another
time so that our social relationship
isn't messed up. I could also ask my
parents if I could go to the party and
see if they say yes, but if they say no
and I over react, they might be
keeping a closer watch on me.
Consider consequences: If I do
sneak out without my parents
knowing and agreeing, I could be
punished, (which would ruin my
social relationship with them) or I
could be punished in other ways,
like being told I can never hang
out with that friend ever again
because she influenced me to go.
Identify values: One of the values
I would be loosing is trust with
my parents if I were to go to the
party. If I weren't, I could keep
my trust with my parents but
maybe not with my friend. In the
future, I plan on going to a good
college, if I do something
irresponsible, it could go on my
permanent record and could ruin
a lot in my life. (It would be
better not to go.)
Decide and Act: I will be choosing to ask my
parents if I can go to the party. If they say yes
then I won't have to worry about getting in
trouble with them and ruining our social
relationship. If they say no then I would
respect their decision, whine a little, but still
stay out of trouble and away from the party. I
might not have an as strong relationship with
the friend but if she won't understand that I
can't go and that's it, we might not be that
good of friends anyway.
Explore the Results: I would be a
little disappointed that I couldn't go
but my social relationships with
other people wouldn't be ruined or
anything. There would be less risk
by staying home anyways and
maybe that would stop my friend
from sneaking out too.