epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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The Flash 4x09 + Inhumans 1x08 + Vanished By The Lake (2015-?) 1x01 Reviewed

Don’t Run
Harry and Cisco do idiot comedy around a blue Christmas tree. Katee Sackhoff of ‘Battlestar Galactica’ and ‘Bionic Woman’) guest stars as Amunet. Ralph lacks dreams or guidance. There is unfunny sexist dude-comedy. Iris and Barry get a crap gift from Oliver and Felicity and bemoan them crashing their wedding. DeVoe is a contrarian. Ralph, Cisco and Harry and Barry are dispiriting with toxic attitudes. Where did the Reichsmen name come from? Snow is less than delighted that people like Killer Frost more than her. Amunet wears black lipstick and sports a laughable UK accent. Iris is useless. DeVoe hangs around looking sinister and engaging in misconduct.

What happened to all the dead Nazis from EarthX? Amunet is overexcited. Barry is just a fetish wear sporting smug git tool with an insatiable yearning to annoy. DeVoe seems to have mastered quick change skills. Joe calls Barry his son. Eeew. Joe and Harry menace DeVoe. Joe rants about DeVoe’s moral transgressions. Metas are sellable commodities. Snow meets Dominic who is a telepath. This is not a chilling insight into villains. Barry’s suit has a flotation mode?

Iris whines about attendant anxieties. Amunet has a violent disposition. Where is Wally? How did DeVoe possess Dominic? DeVoe now in Dominic boasts. Nobody noticed DeVoe’s wheelchair flying around the city? Barry faces becoming increasingly unpopular. DeVoe frames Barry for his own murder. Wouldn’t people notice the weirdness with DeVoe’s body? The CCP smash down Barry’s door and arrest him. This was corrosively dumb and Barry deserves his battered reputation.

Best Lines:
“The unholy bloodfires.”

“Some sort of evil secretary?”

“Those white-girl dreads came straight from the 90s.”

“Lingering threat.”


...And Finally Black Bolt
Maximus is treated as less respectable than anyone else for having the audacity to be angry at being treated the way he was and for being angry for feeling hated. Black Bolt and Medusa are indefensible smug arrogant a-holes.

Black Bolt and Maximus walk around hand in hand. Black Bolt manhandles his brother. How do they have water on the moon? The royals commit violence. Who is the inhumans greatest enemy? Black Bolt betrayed and lied to Maximus. There is violence and stupidity. Crystal whines and Medusa steals the crystals and bullies the blonde orange stick. Medusa admits she turned her back on Maximus. Medusa smashes a crystal to mock Maximus and Auran turns on Maximus.

So Maximus turns into a ranting lunatic and the city is abandoned. Is the door guy left behind as people leave? Maximus reveals he set Black Bolt up to kill their parents. Black Bolt carries out some sick Edgar Allen Poe revenge on Maximus. Black Bolt speaks and the inhumans end up on Earth as Maximus wanted all along. Black Bolt is a sick jerk. The door guy will die on the moon. Charming. No wonder this show was axed. Will we ever see Maximus again? Why did the throne glow?

Best Line:
“Keep you on the moon where there is no water.”

Vanished By The Lake (2015-?) 1x01
This French drama opens with interesting opening credits and then shows a teenage girl being predator bait. Then an irritating French woman is shrill and screechy. A cop from Paris is the friend of the screechy woman. The local cops seem uncaring about the missing girl. 15 years ago 2 girls went missing. There are flashbacks. The culprit of the 15 years ago case has been released. An old librarian has a creepy co-worker. The 2 missing girls from 15 years ago have never been found. People stare and are French. The missing girl’s father yells and is sick of his harridan wife. The culprit from 15 years ago turns out to have been hiding in plain sight. Then it ends. Do I want to know more? No.
Tags: flash, review

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