How NOT to Dress for a Jog to the Post Office

First, leave the "cardio mask" at home.


Okay, it seems we need to review this again.

Back in October, we heard about a jogger in the U.K. whom police mistook for a suicide bomber, thanks to the weight vest he was wearing.

The takeaway: Probably best not to wear what looks like explosives for a jog where you might encounter jittery cops.

Now comes a similar tale, this time from San Jose, California. (Yes! A wacky story from California. I couldn't believe it, either.) According to an article on

Word to the wise: Maybe it's not the smartest thing to jog in what looks like a gas mask and body armor, and then jam a package in a post office box.

It could touch off what happened Tuesday at the busy San Jose post office on Lundy Avenue: a full-scale police response, complete with the bomb squad and a robot.



Maybe I'm totally out of it, but when I read that, I had no idea what a "cardio mask" was, or why you'd want to wear one while jogging, or how on earth it could help you lose weight. So I Googled it.

Turns out, a cardio mask looks an awful lot like a gas mask. The one pictured above is from a web site called (Another word to the wise: If you're buying "exercise" gear from places with names like, yeah, it may be construed as sinister.)

Here is that mask's description:

Elevation Training Mask helps condition the lungs by creating pulmonary resistance to strengthen the diaphragm and increase surface area and elasticity in the alveoli.


The jogger in question turned out to be a local nursing student named Long Hoang -- an "avid follower of the CrossFit exercise regimen," which involves comically extreme stuff like playing hopscotch with a telephone pole over one shoulder while juggling medicine balls with your free hand. Or something like that.

Anyway, all's well that ends well, I guess.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go jog over to the federal courthouse. I want to show the security guards my new bundle of road flares.

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