Daddy Philosophy: Mutual Ownership and Equality

So it may seem strange to think about master-slave BDSM dynamics in the same context as equality, after all isn’t the submissive willingly sacrificing their power to the dominant? And while this may be occasionally true depending on each specific relationship it doesn’t have to be so. The best thing about practicing proper kink is that the only rules fall under the SSC(Safe-Sane-Consensual) umbrella, satisfy these requirements and pretty much anything goes, you get to make up your own rules with your partner. This is the first step to practicing true equality…

Each party goes through a negotiation phase, in which they discuss their preferences, their hard and soft limits, etc. until understandings are reached as to which conduct is considered mutually acceptable. Approaching any relationship in this manner, even vanilla ones will help to establish clear boundaries and open up a very healthy line of communication with your partner…

But many forms of dom/sub or master/slave involve very formal establishment of ownership. daddy/little dynamics may also be structured around a more or less hazy ownership relationship. In my overarching relationship with my submissive we practice formal mutual ownership. It’s about as formal as it gets since we have the only slave-contract enforceable in western common-law courts; a marriage contract. Our ownership of each-other goes far beyond some piece of paper that we signed years ago though…

Don’t get me wrong, in the bedroom I absolutely own her body and soul, I use her fully and absolutely how I desire but only because I have continually earned that submission, the thing about consent is that it remains immediately and perpetually revocable. One word from the sub can shut down a scene in a heart-beat. If the power is unbalanced it is always truly on the side of the sub. I take it a step further than that. My sub need only request it, and I will immediately submit myself to her, also because she has earned that power, though it is rarely exercised…

And while I’m not sure the authors of the gospels had this application in mind when they put the golden rule into the mouth of the character of Jesus, but I would never do something to my sub that I wouldn’t in-turn allow my sub to do to me. Limits remain easily respected when there is a constant threat of reciprocal action. BDSM is at it’s finest a game, a play, it is fantasy safely made reality, but equality in your relationship is a sane practice that will have benefits that extend outside of the bedroom. In my marriage I have always treated my wife as a true partner, with a 50-50 share of both authority and responsibility. Taking my cue from republican Rome, we are colleagues in the vein of co-consuls each holding veto power over the other. This fosters achieving consensus, and having to make valid arguments to support your position.

So there you have it,  just because some freaks enjoy domination and submission doesn’t mean that there is anything inherently unequal about that relationship…I might at times tell her what to wear, or what to say and do, but she can and does tell me where I can shove my ideas(or other things) if they aren’t to her liking…

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