Nov 27, 2008

Dangerous Worry Dolls

I should have known from the title that this film wouldn't make any sense. Self-proclaimed tiny terrors have maybe a single minute collected screen time. Dangerous Worry Dolls is every bit a tribute and addition to horror as Incredibly Risky Situation 2: This Time It's Personal! Seeing as how this title randomly stemmed from the root of my mind and should be taken as a jest, the same should be said for Dangerous Worry Dolls. Calling this film out-of-touch would be a gracious compliment towards Charles Band's directing approach.

Dangerous Worry Dolls begins with a quick edited collage of mulatto women scrapping a drug dispute. From then, the film just progressively gets worst. The prison aspect slightly inflates into a sweltering side story of a transsexual sex tape rape ring bewildered by a soon-to-be counter-raped by possessed angry woman with a strap-on. So the basic cover of this film is the obnoxious PG feminist W.I.P. (Women in Prison) flick of a despicable nature, only differing due to a pitied love interest.

Full Moon used to be a brand you can trust. Over the years, this once respectable low budget horror company has slowly begun to deteriorate. The emblazoned logo was a solid guarantee for moderate acting, moderate production, but at the same time, a generically enjoyable horror film. Charles Band is a simple man of blind faith. A fossil without a fresh vision or idea. The only outsource for creativity is creating new sculptures and art prints for successful films he created decades ago. Although Troma uses Toxie as a mascot, to this day Troma still produces quality films.

In my personal opinion, I vote that Charles Band steps down as acting director and steps aside for Silvia St. Croix, who directed the hilarious sequel to The Gingerdead Man. The legacy of Full Moon is nearly all but diminished thanks to films like Dead Man's Hand and Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys. For a better Full Moon title, check out the aptly titled Prison starring a young Viggo Mortensen. Dangerous Worry Dolls is absolutely B-grade filth. There's no meaning to the occurrences and Band could care less. Don't bother.



Anonymous said...

This is a shame. Between "Gingerdead Man 2" and "Dead Man's Hand", I thought maybe Band was on an upswing again. Maybe the days of "Hideous!" and "Head of the Family" and "Trancers" are gone forever.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you mean about the decline of Full Moon over the years. I was actually just sitting around watching some of my older favorites like Castle Freak and Hideous and I got to wondering just when the hell that whole company devolved into what it's become. Depressing, to say the least. Even more depressing when you take into account the sheer number of wholly amazing movies that Charles Band was involved with Empire Pictures and the first incarnation of Wizard Video.

jervaise brooke hamster said...

B-grade filth it may be but its still 100 times better than anything the british film industry has ever produced.

Unknown said...

"I should have known from the title that this film wouldn't make any sense."

It's quotes like these that make me love your reviews. You guys are brilliant.