Telecom Italia or 2 cans and a bit of string.

Welcome to my new office. You might notice it is full of old men drinking espresso, this is so I can sit here unnoticed and get some work done, well until I open my mouth and order another cappuccino and all heads swivel my way.

Some people in my office are even older than me.... incredible

Some people in my office are even older than me…. incredible

Why don’t I work from home? Two reasons, 1 It is full of scabby cats and 2, there is no internet connection. A week ago I asked Mrs Sensible to phone Telecom Italia and ask them to connect us to the internet, this should be very easy after all we already have 5 working phones scattered around the house.

Don't phone us and we won't phone you.

We value all our customers, even the dead ones.

So Mrs S picked up the phone and called a customer service representative woman at Telecom Italia. She gave them our address and explained that the previous owner of the house had died and we wanted to have the line reconnected (The phone line was working, it just wasn’t in our name) and to also have fast internet. Telecom told her, the contract is still in the dead man’s name and they required a relative of the dead man to write to them and prove he was dead so they can cancel his contract.  While this conversation was in progress I was hopping from foot to foot saying helpful things like “how soon, I need fast internet, tell them I also need a modem. The scowl from Mrs S shut me up.

Stay Connected with your loved ones

Stay Connected with your loved ones

I sent an E mail to the son of Telecom’s dead customer and asked him to prove his dead dad was in fact dead. He told me he had proved to Telecom that he was dead 2 years ago and to his knowledge, things had not changed.

Mrs S phoned Telecom and reached a different woman, she explained their customer was in fact still dead and they had been told he was dead 2 years ago. The  woman said “we know he is dead” Ah ha progress!! Mrs S again gave her details and requested an internet line and phone line. I knew I was allowed to hop from foot to foot but I had to keep silent. When Mrs S put the phone down, the phone that according to Telecom was already disconnected and as dead as their previous customer, she told me Telecom would call me in a couple of days to organise the fitting.  I was sooooo excited.

The best I could hope for

The best I can hope for.

Seven days passed and  no calls, so I harassed Mrs S to call them again.

The conversation went something like this,

Mrs S; You promised to phone Pecora Nera to organise his internet access, when are you going to do this because he is driving me mad.

Telecom: Please will you give me your address.

Mrs S: 2 Green Leaves Road in the middle of the countryside.

Telecom: That is why we didn’t call you, this phone is registered to 13 Old Mill Road in the middle of nowhere.

Mrs S; Can you please update your system as the address is wrong, the council say we live at number 2 Green Leaves, not number 13 Old Mill Road.

And so until Telecom arrive with my 2 tin cans and a long length of string I will have to share my office with 7 old men.

There is a post about our strange address here I will update you on Telecom Italia ASP (at some point)






48 thoughts on “Telecom Italia or 2 cans and a bit of string.

  1. O Dio. “He told me he had proved to Telecom that he was dead 2 years ago and to his knowledge, things had not changed.”

    You do have a way with words that makes me spit (treasured) wine onto my keyboard. Do you know how hard it is to suck wine from those crevasses? Do you even care?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. ah, the address strikes again! and they can’t call you because you don’t have a number. that they haven’t given you. and can’t because they know that guy is dead now and you keep harassing them. and besides, they’ll get around to it when they can. stop bothering them. this is why they don’t hook up your line, because you’ll just keep contacting them once you have it! ps – i love your office mates, looks like a rollicking crew, what fun the company picnic is going to be!

    Liked by 1 person

    • When and if Telecom Italia install my internet connection, I will have a leaving party. Everyone is invited including old men with zimmer frames. Mind you, my retirement party might happen before Telecom Italia gets it’s act together.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had a problem once, a little similar, we moved to a nearby town keeping our old number. After a week of moving we had the voice part of our phone (wow a first for Telecom?) and so we could call people (yeaaahhhhh) but the internet was still at the old house!!! Doh…. After hundreds of promises; hundreds of calls to Telecom and 9 weeks, we got our internet…..yeah. After 2 months we changed to Tele2 (now Teletu).
    Stick with the cups and string….when you’ve finished the call, you can fill up the cup with your favourite drink to clam you down after calling Telecom!!!


  4. This is also a trouble here with television cable companies as well as the cellular phone companies. When a person dies, they are still responsible for the monthly cable and or cell phone bill. A relative must sent proof, i.e. certified copy of a death certificate, to the providing cable and cell phone company proving that the responsible party for the bill payment is actually dead. Wills etc, cannot be officially settled until such proof is offered as the cable / cell phone company will continue sending bills, cutting service and placing liens on the credit line of the deceased. I should think a grieving family has more to be concerned with than a cable or cellular bill especially if the deceased has obviously not been using said equipment. I will assume such asinine proof is required because unscrupulous living people have attempted opting out of a contract and or monthly payments by stating that they are dead when in actuality they are simply scoundrels and cheats—-oh the times in which we live—but I do like the new office—your “receptionists” look like such sweet granddads —happy working—cookie

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So glad I’ve learned to never be eating or drinking while reading your posts.
    I know when my internet isn’t working that it’s like having both arms cut off. But there is a Starbucks right around the corner….no matter where I live in the Greater Seattle area….probably would be the same if I lived in China. I like your “office” much better.


  6. I have noticed with expats (I’ve been an expat in a couple of countries) that we often make friendships more quickly than we would at home. When you sit down with a group of expats in Italy, even ones you don’t know, there are a couple of unifying words. If you say “bank”, “commune office” or “telecom Italia” everyone of them will throw up their hands and say something like “OMG, let me tell you THIS story…”. So, my hypothesis is that these organizations serve an important function in the lives of expats. They create community. How else would you bond with someone who comes from a different country than you in the space of 3 1/2 seconds?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cable/phone companies (bundled or separate) are the worst!! At the very least, and this may provide you little solace but helps me out, you are described the circumstances that have led you to your current office quite amusingly, making me giggle uncontrollably. Hope you’re not stuck with two tin cans and a string for long, but in the meantime, thanks for making me laugh!


  8. I have an ongoing issue with British Gas over this exact same thing. They keep writing, calling, even visiting for various checks etc and calling me Mr Gill or something. No one has ever lived at my house by that name, and if they did it was so long ago it was during the time of open fires.


  9. boy oh boy. I’m usually the first to pick up the phone and make sure the company, no matter how stubborn they are, gets us our stuff and gets us our stuff fast. though, it works a bit (WAY) better now that we’re back in the states.


  10. I recently went through a similiar event, although the previous home owner had not died. I had moved out and needed everything disconnected. Needless to say, I understand the frustration of waiting. However, your “office” seems quite cozy and great for people watching. Enjoy your cappuccino!


  11. Pingback: Mrs Sensible, Peggy Sue and Billy Brown | Englishman in Italy

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