Personal Space and Daggers in the Back at Starbucks

I was in line at Starbucks the other morning (weren’t we all?) and there was a man in front of me and in front of him, about six feet of space between him and the cash register.  Behind me was a line out the door of about twenty bleary eyed, stone-faced customers jonesing for a gigantic cup of java hoping to turn them into instant humans. Now we all need our personal space.  That’s a given.  But, due to the extraordinary importance of getting our coffee within the confines of a crowded shop causes us to tolerate this sardine-like existence for just a few more minutes.  So, why does this man think he is entitled to take over prime real estate when the rest of us are abiding by the rules? I promptly asked, “Uhm, excuse me. Are you in line?”  I receive the ‘well duh’ look followed by “uh yeah.”  Ok, then move your ass up to the register so that we can bring in seven more people from the street. I impatiently stand to his side in hopes that he would get a hint.  Nope.  Some people miss all social cues.  Finally “Next!” was called and he moves forward.

Then, Clueless breaks the other cardinal rule: He asks questions.  Many questions.  “What exactly is an Americano?  How many pumps of caramel are in the Grande Caramel Macchiato?  Can I get two pumps of vanilla in an Americano?  Which has more caffeine; a double espresso or a Grande drip?  Oh, and can I add whipped cream to a latte? Hmmm, Wait.  Maybe I should get a Frappuccino.” Dear God. I’m overhearing this senseless regurgitation. The line is restless, angered, and throwing visual daggers through his back.  I want to be the hero and slug him. They would no doubt cheer.


give us this day our daily brew

I quickly order my nonfat latte fully aware of my not-yet-caffeinated brethren.  I move to the waiting area.  Clueless is there waiting for his ‘extra hot, Grande double pump something with extra whip and who-knows-what-else. ‘

The following day I go to the other Starbucks across the street just in case.  Instincts proved correct.

Cheers to Starbucks and those with common sense when ordering.


“Coffee keeps me busy until it’s acceptable to drink wine.”                                         Anonymous