Linux Hall Of Shame: The No-Boot Distros

Have you ever witnessed this scenario: A beautiful hot sexy lady hooks up with a guy. They go to the bedroom. They kiss passionately and tear each other's clothes off. Then the lady pulls down the guy's boxers and looks at his limpo limpy snoozing like a deaf guy in WWII.

Very well!

Sucky suckie! ... No bueno.

Bra off! Titties out! Jiggle jiggle! ... Nope.

Slow sexy dance. Panties off. Bend over ... Still nothing.


This motherfucker! This stupid son of a bitch! D'you see this motherfucker? Can't get a hard on despite all attempts at seduction!

The following distros didn't make it past the grub. No installer was seen. No OS preview was visible. Reason? WiFi card couldn't be detected. Disk partitions couldn't be read. Distro devs were a bunch of FUCKING IDIOTS etc etc.

1. Lithium

2. Gecko

3. Debian Mate

4. SolydK

5. Devuan

6. Clover

7. Artix Mate

So I booted into these ISOs, and waited and waited and waited some more. Nothing happened. I saw some fucking errors, and that was it.

Think of me as the perspective of a regular normie user. Imagine a regular normal guy who doesn't know shit about computers and tries out one of these distros. D'you know what he'd say? Linux fucking sucks! It absolutely sucks! He wasted all that time downloading the fucking ISO only to get stuck at the boot screen! What a fucking shame! Focking embarrassing! Disgosting!

And they say Linux is better than Windows? How?! How is this better than Windows?! Focking got stuck on the boot screen mate! Can't do shit. Pressing the enter button doesn't work. Esc button doesn't do shit. I'm looking at the screen staring at this stupid fucking errors. Can't detect ethernet drivers. Well what the fock do you expect me to do, aye? Write the fockin drivers myself? Get the fock outta here! Fuck you! Y'say what? Fuck me? NO! NO! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU MATE! Get yo raggedy ass outta here before I beat the shit outta ye and go to prison! I ain't going to prison for this shit mate! Get outta here! Go on! Piss off!