Friday The 13th, Part Two.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Friday 13th

What do you know, it’s Friday 13th AGAIN.


How lucky is that?





The Curtis Hotel in Denver







Butch Cassidy





Alfred Hitchcock






It was good luck for me, please call again.




Herbs For Sale: Please No Thyme Wasters!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Are you are looking for some really funny jokes?

Well, never mind.

Try these instead.

It’s Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!




I just saw a bird playing chess in the park.

Toucan play at that game.




If a vacuum is a volume of space

that contains no matter or particles,

why did someone bother to invent a cleaner for it?

vacuum cleaner



My son got straight A’s in his italics exam.

Which actually cost him quite a few marks.

straight A's



24 years ago today the doctor delivered me.

I can’t believe I’ve survived so long without a liver.




I just bought my 6 month old son one of those baby bouncers.

£10 an hour but he keeps the kid safe




My wife used to be a regular customer at McDonalds.

These days, she’s more of a large.




Hearing aid for sale.

Give me a shout if you’re interested.

Man uses an ear trumpet



A man came up to me and said,

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I said, “That is very annoying.”

He said, “Well I can only apologize.”




I’m lucky, I can always count on my wife.

She wears a lot of beads.

a lot of beads



“What’s done cannot be undone.”

They obviously didn’t have shoelaces in Shakespeare’s day.

What's done cannot be undone



So these two morons were making fun

of an old guy on the bus yesterday.

My friend said,

“You have to respect him, he’s a Vietnam vet.”

They just said

“What’s it to us if he helps animals in Vietnam.”

Vietnam vet



Why did I say I’d win that giant butterfly contest?

Me and my big moth.




I just saw two bits of sellotape stuck to a lamppost.

Must have been a missing poster.




My girlfriend was devastated to find out

that my friends call me

‘The Love Machine’

because I’m terrible at tennis.

terrible at tennis



Finally for today, this ring cymbalizes so much to me.





A Lot Of Idiots Kill Themselves….But….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


A lot of idiots kill themselves accidently. I’ve highlighted a few examples on this blog of people whose stupidity led to their demise.

But some do it on purpose.

If they are really dumb, however, they don’t quite manage to do it the way they had planned.

Here are some examples.


1. Objective Attained – Method Unexpected

Frenchman Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide.



He then drank some poison.

Then he set fire to his clothes.

He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment.

The plan seemed foolproof. Alas it was not.

As he jumped he fired the pistol.

However, the bullet missed him completely and instead cut through the rope above him.


The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and the salty water he ingested made him vomit the poison.

He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he subsequently died of hypothermia.

There must have been an easier way. 

Jacques LeFevrier
Jacques LeFevrier


2. Strike another one Elvita!

One Sunday while on a visit to the Empire State Building in New York City, Elvita Adams clambered over an 8 foot high iron fence surrounding the observation deck at about 8.25pm.

She jumped off the building and plummeted earthwards.

But only for a few feet.

A strong gust of wind, possibly as high as 30mph, pushed her back towards the building and she landed on a balcony on the 85th floor, with nothing more than a broken leg.

Asked why she had wanted to commit suicide she said it was because she had been a failure at everything she tried.

Strike another one Elvita!

Empire State Building
Empire State Building



3. She Fell For Him Big Time

Back in France again, suicides at the Eiffel Tower are apparently quite common. In fact France has one of the highest suicide rates at 17.5 suicides per 1000 people!

Killing yourself with the 1,063 foot “Iron Lady” is the third most popular French suicide method behind poisoning and hanging (both of which the guy in the first incident tried unsuccessfully).

A few times, people have attempted to kill themselves but failed to do so. One man was blown onto a rafter by the wind and he was spared. But the most curious case was one in which a woman who jumped, landed on the roof of a car and later married the man who owned it!

Boy did she fall for him!!!

Eiffel Tower, Paris
Eiffel Tower, Paris


4. Taxi!

In Buenos Aires, Argentina, a woman threw herself off the 23rd floor balcony of the Hotel Crown Plaza Panamericano in an apparent suicide bid. However her attempt failed when a taxi caught in traffic below cushioned her fall.

Although the impact of her landing on the car shattered its windscreen and made a huge dent in its roof, the impact was not hard enough to end her life.

Instead, the 30-year-old woman was left with broken hips, ribs and significant internal bleeding.

The driver of the taxi, Miguel Cajal, told a local TV station that he noticed policemen stopping traffic and were looking upward. This made him instinctively jump out of his car.

“I got out of the car a second before. If I had not got out, I would have been killed,” the BBC quoted him as saying. The impact, he added, “made a terrible noise.”

The aftermath of a suicidal woman landing on a taxi
The aftermath of a suicidal woman landing on a taxi



Little Dumb And Large Dumber

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Are there some people who are too dumb to live?

It’s an interesting, if not much asked, question.


Back to the initial question.








Yes, they hit upon an idea.


So far, so good.


Again, so far, so good.












Apparently, he was in a lot of pain.

Enter his friend Robert to the rescue.












Is Your Glass Half Full, Or Half Empty?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

“Some people see the glass half full.

Others see it half empty.


George Carlin


Just a short post today, but it covers a big philosophical question.

How do you look at things in life?

Is your glass always half full or half empty?

The Australian airline Quantas has never had a major accident. Does this mean that you have confidence that it is the safest airline in the world? Or does it make you think that maybe the odds are that it’s due for an accident?

If you’re playing the tables in Vegas or Atlantic City or somewhere, does the fact that you’ve lost the last ten hands make you think that your luck is out for the night and you leave. Or do you think the laws of probability mean your luck must be due to change shortly and you hang in there?

There’s no right or wrong answers here. It just depends on what type of person you are.

People who are naturally in the glass half empty category tend to be the ones who play it safe. Work for someone else, are content with a lesser but safer position, don’t over extend themselves financially, etc. For that type of person such decisions make for a much happier and contented life.

Other people, me for example, are more in the glass half full category. More prone to taking risks, trying new things (like blogging even!), and starting their own businesses. That can bring great rewards, but it can cause more than a little turmoil financially and otherwise in your life too, particularly in the economic times we are currently living through. The safe option it is not!

It takes both types to make the world go round and both are equally important.

There’s no point in starting your own business if there’s no one willing to be employed; and there’s no point in looking for a job if there’s no one willing to take the risk and start a business (they all had to start somewhere, even the giant multi nationals).

So what’s the best? It depends on you.

What’s right? Again, it depends on you.

Just don’t waste your time with the stupid pursuit of wondering if the grass is greener somewhere else if you don’t have the courage to go and find out.

Whatever way suits you at least be content with your decision.

That my friends is the simplest secret to enjoying your life.

(According to me anyhow!)

Here’s a video.