Sunshine and Puppies, Please

I'm feeling fantastic again. Surely a few days of ample sunlight have played a role, and I am grateful to be energized and feeling like myself again. I can think and write and move without heaviness, and now rather than hating myself for unidentifiable shortcomings, I feel okay with who I am. There's always will be someone else who is achieving more, looking prettier, running farther and faster, etc but I'm doing pretty well with living my life and I'm satisfied. 

Tomorrow Roland, Lucy (our Frenchie) and I are going on a long weekend away, and the two of us who understand what that means are looking forward to it! We'll be staying in the mountains at an AirBnB, and hopefully taking some nice walks in the cool fall weather. It feels like a perfect time for a change of scenery. 

I'm taking a few days off work which is always nice to decompress and spend days just fully being Georgie. I lose myself so easily in my job, because I often find my clients lives, thoughts and troubles so irresistibly engaging. For a few years it was a saving grace to forget myself, because all I felt was my chronic pain, isolation, and loss of all the things I loved doing. When I hung up the phone with a client, there I was... in the quiet, laying down. But things are blooming again, and as the summer has passed and my pain is retreating, there are things to do in my life too, now!

Roland and I are walking together pretty much every day, and I can sit for a little bit so we've had a couple coffee dates and even managed a couple meals out (which were admittedly, very uncomfortable, but tolerable which is progress.) I've found a couple things on Netflix I like watching, and am listening to a lot of books. We both enjoy spending time with our friend Vicki and just kicking back on the couches to indulge Lucy in a cuddlefest which drives her bananas with glee. 

Like millions of other people, the tragedy of Monday's mass shooting in Las Vegas still hangs heavy on our emotions. The stories and images have been swirling in my mind without any organization or direction arising from the tangle, partially because there is no explanation for what happened, or certainty of the future. Where is this going? What will it change? Why? What can I do? I see lots of responses and reactions on social media and in the news... but I have no conclusions, or composed sentences yet on what to make of it.

I'm a slow thinker. It took me 29 years to figure out I even had an opinion, so taking a week or so to condense my thoughts on this matter is not so surprising, and I'll call it progress. I'm still thinking about it, but expect I'll write more about it soon.  

Thanks for reading, I appreciate you. 

Love, Georgie