What Fatherhood Means to Me…

Kunbi O / Sunday June 20, 2021

One can not underestimate the impact of a good parent in a child’s life.

In celebration of Father’s Day, we asked a few fathers to share what fatherhood means to them and how it has changed their lives.

Shoutout to all the fathers and father figures. You are loved and appreciated.

Happy Fathers Day ❤️.

What Fatherhood Means to Me

What does fatherhood mean to me?

As I write this, I am also holding my baby boy in my arm as he falls asleep. This feeling brings me absolute joy beyond what I could possibly express in words. And to me this is what fatherhood means – being present, being loving, being intentional, and doing everything in your power to ensure your child is safe and happy.

How fatherhood changed me?

I feel it has giving me a deeper sense of purpose, I feel more whole, and I feel I have evolved into my final form of being.

Bayo Oresegun


Fatherhood means setting an example. It means that my son will be watching and listening to everything I do, even when it seems like he isn’t. Fatherhood means that he’ll be using me as a model for the man that he will one day become. It means that every action I take, and every word that I utter — should — be chosen carefully…it isn’t always. I make mistakes, I occasionally upset people, I’m only human. But that in and of itself is crucial for him to see. Because it shows him that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s important for him to see how I handle these errors. Beyond what I do and say, it’s the way that I do and say them. The nonverbal cues like body language and tone that keys him in to my state of mind and intention.
Being a father, to me, means being a role model in all ways. How I carry myself, how I speak to others, how I treat his mother, how I behave both in success and defeat. It is a job that I cannot afford to fail at and will continue to work tirelessly to ensure success because his future depends on my present.
It was pretty magical bringing our daughter home from the hospital a few days after she was born, saying to ourselves “Wow, it’s hard to believe she is just coming home for the first time, because it feels like she’s been here the whole time“. I guess the truth is she has always been here with us, in our hearts and minds, waiting for the perfect time to make an entrance. Fatherhood has been the most rewarding experience of my life; I’ve learned to be emotionally available and present, learned that it is possible to love and be loved unconditionally.
I have also learned the power of words, how a simple unsolicited “I love you daddy” can move mountains. Adaora is the driving force behind my successes, I constantly strive to be the person that she thinks I am. I strive to be the best, nurturing version of myself, by not only being physically present and available to her but also emotionally present and supportive. My life’s work is to protect her, help guide and nurture her into the woman she wants to be and if I am able to do that, I’d say it’s been a life worth living.

Fatherhood is a strange space where you are trying to add another dynamic to your identity while guiding your children into being their best selves. You are in the middle of trying to make sense out of life, and somehow it makes sense that God will bestow this responsibility unto you. Fatherhood shows you your flaws- not to shame you, but to give you an opportunity to work on yourself, and show your children what healthy emotional growth looks like, why healing is the best kind of self-care, and why being *your* best is ultimately greater than being *the* best.

Fatherhood for me is an empathic practice. One where I learn every day how to understand my children and acknowledge their agency. But it is also one that allows me the space to see, love, and accept myself.