Schinstock: The Two Georges

Jim Schinstock
Special to The News

His name is George, and he is my customer service representative for my medical supply company. George is also the name of several of my German ancestors. George and I got along well, so it seemed like a no-brainer when people asked if I had named my new 24/7 companion. If George Foreman could name both his sons and his grills “George,” then I could certainly borrow it for my oxygenating equipment!

“Big George” (G1) is a monolithic 50-pound oxygen generator. He sits in the middle of my house, complete with his 50-foot coil of green tubing, and supplies oxygen to me regardless of whether I’m sleeping or awake. The tubing is long enough to enable me to go from one end of my house to the other. My major problem with the Big George, other than the sheer inconvenience, is awkwardness.

I was never a very good dancer, so try to imagine my two left feet mixed up with my cane trying to navigate through 50’ of twisted, tangled tubing. I felt like Frankenstein trying to do the “Tarantella” or the “Texas Two-Step.” Definitely hilarious, but kind of dangerous too.

Enter G1’s pint-sized cousin, “Little George” (G2), who only weighs about 10 pounds. He attaches himself to my shoulder and uses his battery-operated regenerator to supply oxygen to me when I’m out of my tether range. My major problem with Little George is his limited usefulness. When fully charged, G2 provides about five hours of oxygenation. To offset this handicap, G2 can charge and discharge simultaneously.

One of the things I’ve gained from going through a major health crisis is an appreciation for how much and how well medical science has advanced recently, both in basic research and equipment design. If my dad’s doctors had access to all the information mine have had, he might have lived another quarter of a century. The same thing is true for my mom. I have no doubt my readers have their own examples in mind.

G1 and G2 are doing well in maintaining their directive to keep me breathing. I’m not looking forward to another new machine (G3). The only George III I’m familiar with managed to lose several wars and the British colonies in North America. Not exactly an auspicious debut!