Employer Branding Timebound

Forget Halloween, Work is Way Scarier

Ahh yes, Halloween. You’re no doubt sick of pumpkins by now, and you can take or leave the awful haunting makeup, but we all know that the pictures of babies in ‘scary’ fancy dress will never get old. Long live infants in onesies.

In my opinion, you don’t need it to be Halloween for there to be a bit of a fear factor in your working week. It very much exists anyway, all on its own. Let me explain. Chances are you awoke with a fright this morning to the sound of your alarm clock interrupting your peaceful sleep, yes? After that initial shock, you were then overcome by that familiar sense of horror (get out of bed now) that plagues you around the same time each morning, yep? See! And that’s just the beginning…

I mean, I don’t want to dwell on the negatives here, but let’s be realistic. Vampires and fake blood have nothing on these scary work-related occurences:

Forwarding an email to the wrong person

This, hands down, is the scariest thing to ever have happen to you in the workplace. Sometimes it’s a an absolute non event, i.e. it’s quickly solved with a ‘Hi Karen, ignore that email, it was meant for Susan, cheers”. But when said email to Karen is about Karen, and meant for Susan and Susan only, that’s when it’s time to panic for real.

Getting your corporate head shots back and realising they’re all horrific

Everyone pretends they don’t like having their picture taken, but this is 9 times out of 10 a facade concealing their deep lust for a Derek Zoolander-style photo shoot. If we’re honest, the only bit that we hate about this is getting your photos sent to you, and realising the photographer was rubbish, managing to get your bad side in all 80 pictures (a real mind-boggler given you were photographed from all angles).

Leaving your computer open and being hacked by a rogue colleague

This is a rookie mistake we’ve all made before; falsely believing we are in a professional environment and walking away from our computer without logging out. In every office there is an opportunist waiting to prey on the naive. The scariest part is remaining completely unaware for several hours, if not days after the alleged incident, you know, finding out what you said in an email to Michael in accounts, many days after you were hacked. Yes, Michael thought you were seriously creeping on him. How awkward, he never replied. Can I also point out that you’re also a bit offended that Michael didn’t accept your fake offer to go for a romantic dinner with him, even if you didn’t even send the email. Principles, people.

Having your lunch stolen

You don’t spend 3 hours doing Sunday meal prep (aka dividing a large pizza into 5 Tupper Ware containers) only to have some scavenger take advantage of your trustful relationship with the refrigerator.

Forgetting to tailor a template

Taking it back to email territory, little leaves you more fearful than realising you’ve forgotten to change the names when using a template email (so you don’t have to sit there and write out individual, customised emails to different clients). Blowing your own cover, nice.

Spilling a coffee at your desk

This one speaks for itself really. It’s particularly great when all your documents get soaked and your keyboard starts playing up because evidently it doesn’t rely on caffeine and milk to work properly like you do.

Leaking sensitive information

You’re in a client meeting and innocently let a huge cat out of the bag. Your bosses eyes encourage the deepest fear to develop within you. Have fun with that.

Having an office love affair outed

Office affairs tend to be very fun for those watching and gossiping; not so much for those directly involved. Think you’re being stealth and secretive? Think again. We know. We all know. Scary times for you John and Rebecca. Scary times are coming.

Being invited to a management meeting that goes over lunchtime

Not only has your pre-packed lunch been stolen, but now you’re being deprived of lunch at 12pm. How can you seriously be expected to wait until 1pm for food?

Listening to loud building maintenance works nearby

You see a workman signing in at reception on the ground floor of your building. You walk by and smile, he’s probably just fixing the elevator or something. By the time you reach your desk and sit down, the jack-hammering has started. It’s then you receive the email stating it’ll only be like this for a few weeks, and sorry for the inconvenience. Oh dear. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Leaving your phone at home

Fear ignites when you reach into your handbag and check every nook and cranny, only to flashback to an image of your mobile sitting on the kitchen bench next to the loaf of bread. A whole day without texting bae; talk about frightening.

Leaking pen ink onto your white top

That pen was everything to you; you chose it specifically because it looked like a great, reliable, no-fuss office companion. But no, oh no. Silly you. That pen had other plans, that involve smudging its contents down your top. Crushing.

Having your annual leave request denied

You literally could not be more excited about your holiday to Australia. You have looked up everything; flights, accommodation, kangaroo spotting adventures, the whole shebang. With dates sorted, all you need to do is make it official by running it through the internal ‘leave request’ system. Needless to say, when your request comes back with a big, fat ‘denied’, your whole world comes crashing down. Your colleague has already shotgunned those days off and you can’t both be off at the same time. Say bye-bye Skippy.

Watching a new person start and realising they’re really annoying

You get introduced to your newest colleague. How did they even make it through their interviews? Realising they are literally the most annoying person in the world and you are stuck with them 40 hours each week is a scary, scary moment.

Can you think of any other a scary work moments? Let us know in the comments below or tweet me!

By Phoebe Spinks
