Too strange, world and writing need work

Of a Strange World Made (Colony of Edge #1)
by Anthony W. Eichenlaub

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Off to a rocky start with not very smooth writing. Set on a colony world, we meet Ash, busy getting drunk in a bar/cantina of some sort, talking to friends about a wager. She is some sort of lab technician/scientist, working on the terraforming effort for their planet. Sorry for being vague, the story is vague…

The colony has strict laws concerning birth control and she is pulled into helping a woman giving birth to an unsanctioned baby. The baby appears strange. That is how far I got, before I put the novella down for the first time—about a third into the story. The idea is not a bad one, but the writing is not convincing. Scenes are not properly thought out, it‘s very sketchy.

For example: what is strange about the baby, why does it look wrong? Right after the birth, she has to leave mother and child to keep them safe. She does not come back to check on them, after the situation prompting her to leave has passed. Wouldn‘t it be normal to return as soon as possible to ensure the safety and health of mother and child? And if she can‘t return for some reason, why not? 

When she does return the next day, the baby lies apart from the mother, alive and breathing in an atmosphere, that requires adults to wear rebreathers. She doesn’t question that and doesn’t check on the child, just briefly talks to the mother. Again, no indication is given, why the baby is a „wretched thing“. She asks the mother, if she is ok and leaves again. BTW, her mother is a midwife. Even without that, I would check on the baby. Wouldn‘t you?

I read on a little further. The mother tells the story of how the baby came to be, in a style that doesn‘t mesh with the first third of the story. And then there are details that are factually wrong.

“Predators were born into action, Ash realized. Old movies of wildlife showed the creatures up and moving almost as soon as they were born.“

Wolves are born deaf and blind. It‘s the other way around actually. The hunted are up and running right away, to avoid getting eaten.

On top of all that Ash sounds like a teenager. I assume she is supposed to be a grown woman, but I can‘t tell, as it‘s not mentioned. I gave up in the middle and heavily skimmed through the rest. The ending was not bad and offers a promising opening for the sequel. Which I will not read.
