Alice | Teen Ink


April 20, 2010
By ccaelinn BRONZE, Forked River, New Jersey
ccaelinn BRONZE, Forked River, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

"Wake up Alice! You'll be late for class."

A pale girl stirs in her bed, and wakes to a pure white persian kitten staring at her with it's

big, green eyes. "Why hello Twiggy, how are you this morning?" She strokes the little fur-ball, and

rolls out of bed. "What do you think I should wear today? A dress? A vest? A bow? A ring on my toe?"

She giggled at her rhyming, and walked into her closet.


getting quite angry now.

"I'm up Aunt Andy, calm down!" Alice sighed, and threw on her usual. A pair of keyhole tights,

a light white peasant shirt, and her tan ankle boots. "She can be quite hot-headed, can't she?" She

looked at the little kitten, who was now chewing it's feet. "I knew you'd feel the same." Grabbing her

rings, sunglasses, bag, and lipgloss, she flew down the stairs and out the door.

"Pick up your phone Alice, or I won't pick you up for school for the rest of the year!" Hearing

that, she knew that Jack was calling. Oh how she wished she never let him make that his own personal


"Why are you calling me for at this unholy hour?"

"Well lets see, I need to pick you up for school and you're of course, running fashionably late."

"Of course darling, you know me so well."

"Hah, I'll see you in a sec."

Alice hung up the phone, and with that, a lime green volkswagen beetle turned the corner into her

driveway, honking like a mad man. She laughed and got in the car, kissing the boy on the cheek. "Stop

that Alice, your Aunt is going to think something fishy is going on."

"Oh Jack, she knows that you're in love with the same boys as me, no worries." She pulled his

ipod out of the radio, and replaced it with her own. "Jack, you seriously need to stop listening to that

music! it's horrible."

"You love it, admit it."

"I'm sorry but I don't find the words 'You're A Jerk' on repeat as a good song."

They grew silent as the music played, and Alice started to think. Is this what she was going to

do for the rest of her teenage years? Hanging out with Jack, bickering over music? Would she ever be

considered the popular girl? Don't get her wrong, she wasn't an outcast, she was just different from

everyone else. People thought she was one of those "Anorexic Artistic Model Wannabes" but she wasn't,

was she?

She was naturally skinny, at 100lbs and she was normal height too. She did love art, and she did

feel like she was artistic, but not a model. Alice would never consider herself pretty, she had a normal

face. She was very pale, and had porcelian like skin, but got freckles in the summer and sometimes broke

out. She had alien-like eyes, big and bright. They were a hazel color, and changed colors almost

everyday. She also had black hair that she never brushed or styled. It was always messy and looked like

she came from the beach. She also had a lot of bruises that people thought were from shooting up drugs,

but she was just clumsy and fell into things.

They arrived at school and walked hand-in-hand with eachother, despite the looks they got.

Everyone knew that Jack was gay, but they never understood why Alice and him always held hands when they

were together. Some people might actually think they were a cute couple. Alice pondered at the thought,

they would make a cute couple surprisingly. He had short dark brown spiked hair, and wore a different

flannel everyday. He wore H81 readers everyday, and claimed that they were perscription. He also wore

cut off skinny jeans everyday, no matter the weather. Being that they lived in Malibu, it didn't make

much of a difference.

They walked to their first period class, Art. Today they were watching a movie on Andy Warhol

and Edie Sedgwick, a movie Alice knew very well, Factory Girl. The art teacher didn't care if the

students heard the vulgar words that were said numerous times throughout the film. He felt that students

shouldn't be limited to watch certain movies because of the words used, especially when he knew that a

majority of the students used those words on a daily basis.

The rest of the school day was unexciting, and uneventful. Alice and Jack met up at the end of

day and were going to Fox Hill Farms with a few of their other friends. When they arrived at Fox Hills,

they ordered their drinks and went to the back corner table, the table they always sat at. Sheldon,

Coralyn, Joshua, and Bryon all showed up and sat down around Alice and Jack. Everyone started to talk

about their days and how they so didn't want to do their projects and assignments and just wanted Spring

Break to come already.

"We're all going to Los Angeles for break right? I heard that there is a new club opening up and

everything is in blacklights and that everything is covered in glow in the dark paint." Coralyn was

saying it in such a frantic voice, you'd think she'd die if she didn't go.

"That's so tre chic." Bryon said.

"Clearly my dear." Coralyn winked at him, and continued to talk about all the clubs they were

going to be hitting up while in Los Angeles. Alice was only half listening though, she was busy doodling

a sparrow on her hand with henna designs around it. She asked Jack to take her home because she needed

to go to her session, and if she were late again, her therapist would behead her.

"Alice, are you okay?" Jack looked over at her when they pulled into her driveway.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" She looked back at him, wishing she could get out of the car faster.

"You were so distant today at FHills. You looked like you were in a daze."

"Did I? That's odd. I have to go Jack! I can't be late tonight!" She ran out of the car, into

her house, and up to her room. She locked her door, turned off her phone, put her ipod on her ihome, and

blasted music so she wouldn't think. She went to her bathroom, and opened up the cabinet and took a

Zoloft, Seroquel, and Paxil. She hated taking these pills, they stopped her creativity flow, they made

her feel numb. She knew she had to take them though, she was getting finicky and paranoid.

"Aunt Andy, I'm ready to go." She called out.

It was a silent ride to the therapists' office, as it usually is. Neither Alice nor her Aunt

want to talk about Alice's meetings, ever. Her Aunt would drive her to the office, leave and come back

an hour and a half later to pick her up. Alice didn't think they'd ever be able to talk about it, it'd

be to hard to do for the both of them.

"Hello Alice." Dr. Heker said, with a very fake smile on it's face. Yes it's face, Alice

purposely found the most unique therapist in all of Malibu to be hers. Dr. Heker was a transvestite,

with extremely thin, pencil drawn eyebrows and overly lined lips. She loved her, she couldn't think of

herself with any other therapist in the world.

"Hello Ruby." They were on a first name basis and tried to be as honest as possible. Ruby would

let Alice draw on her walls and keep them there because she loved the art, she also thought it was a good

way for Alice to get out her emotions.

"So, how have you been since our last visit?"

"I've been fine. Nothing new has happened, except that I have been taking my medication less. I

know, I know, that's bad to do but I feel like I'm dead when I take them. I have no motivation to draw

when I take them." Alice sighed and looked down at her shoes.

"I know you might feel that way Alice, but you're given the medication for a reason, it helps

calm you down." Ruby, walked around the desk and sat next to Alice on the settee and put her hands on

top of Alice's. "If you want to, we can try a different medication and see if they are different from

the ones you take now."

"I don't want to take the medication altogether! I just want to be a regular teenager." Alice

stood up, grabbed one of the many sharpies from Ruby's desk and started to draw on the wall. Sharp lines

and heavy strokes with the sharpie, and she continued this while she spoke. "I want to be able to go

through all the things a regular teenager goes through without being doped up on all the medication I

take! I want to feel for once Ruby, I don't want to be dead anymore."

Alice dropped the sharpie on the ground and stepped back from her drawing to take it all in. She

drew a red sparrow, with fire all around it. "I don't understand these things I draw, I feel like

they're coming from my subconcious."

"Maybe they mean something else. You just need to think about it more Alice."

After the meeting, Alice went home and drowned out the world with MGMT and fell asleep and that's

when it started...

Alice was adandoned, cold, and everything was colorless. She was walking in a dead field with

dead flowers everywhere that just made her feel upset and uncomfortable. She continued to walk until she

came to halt infront of a swamp. She was confused by this, and started to go through the swamp, and got

lost there. She started to panic, and everything started to get darker and more claustrophobic. Alice

started to scream.

She woke up screaming as well, and looked around her room until she settled down. "What was

that?" She grabbed her laptop from across the room and started to look up dream analyzations. She came

to a website called, and looked up the field, the flowers, and the swamp and found out

that those things were all symbols for depression and worrying. She wrote everything down, planning to

show Ruby this at their next meeting. Was she really so depressed that she was now dreaming depressing

things? What was wrong with her?

Not being able to fall asleep, she watched Factory Girl even though she had just watched it in

school that day. Halfway through the movie, she heard her door click open, and Twiggy came striding in,

and her Aunt Andy in tail.

"What are you doing up sweetie?"

"I had a nightmare, and I'm to afraid to fall back asleep."

"Sweetie, I know that losing your parents has been hard for you, but you can't let it take over

your life."

"I'm not depressed over that anymore though. I'm starting to deal with it."

"Then what's wrong?" She sat on the corner of Alice's bed and looked at her with eyes that were

filled with concern.

"I don't know... I've just been feeling down. The medication is just making me feel so... ugh.

I don't take it as much anymore." Alice looked down after saying this, afraid of her aunt being angry

with this news.

"Alice, that's not good. You're given this medication for a reason."

"I know, Dr. Heker told me this during our session." Alice had to make sure she didn't say Ruby

infront of her Aunt, she probably wouldn't approve the fact that Ruby and Alice called eachother by their

first names.

"It's true. Well, I need to get ready for work. We'll talk tonight, go out for dinner?" She

smiled a little smile, and got up and walked over to Alice, giving her a light squeeze.

Still not being able to fall asleep, Alice decided to get ready for school. She walked into her

closet, all the way in the back and grabbed something she hadn't worn in years, her light pink playboy

bunny jacket. She couldn't even remember what possessed her to buy it, but she knew that she wanted to

wear it. From now on, she wasn't going to dress in her typical drab, but in clothes that regular

sixteen-year-old girls wore. She paired it with a white tanktop, deep blue skinny jeans, and a pair of

black stilletos she wore to a wedding once. She next decided that she was going to her her make up nice

and barbie looking. She went through her drawers and found her full coverage liquid foundation and

applied a thick layer of it as if she was applying icing to a cake. she darkened her eyes with charcoal

and grey eyeshadows and think black eyeliner that lined her upper and lower waterlines. She blocked out

the rosy color to her lips with concealer and applied lip gloss to it giving an extremely nude lip. She

also applied bronzer to her face so she appeared to look like she got orange marker and colored in her

white face with it. She finished off her transformation with brushing and straightening her hair until

it was as flat as paper.

She walked over to her full-length mirror and looked at herself, slowly her mouth opened in pure


"I look... like a barbielicious clone."

The author's comments:
It is not finished work, it is just the beginning part of my story. I just wanted to see other peoples point of view of it, so far. It was originally supposed to be a story for my English class project for symbolism, but I got to into it and continued writing it and making it better than the abridged version I handed in.

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This article has 1 comment.

jb4eva said...
on May. 22 2010 at 4:47 pm
this was very deep. keep writing!