Because it’s time, again….

Two men are going golfing, when one stops by the pro shop…
“I need to get a sleeve of balls, you want me to pick you up some?”
“No thanks. I just need this one.”
“Just one ball? What if you hit it deep into the woods?”
“Well, it makes a whistle after you hit it. Can’t lose it. I only need this one.”
“What is its dark and you hit it into a sand trap?”
“Well, it glows in the dark. Can’t lose it. I only need this one.”
“What if you hit it into the water? You’ll never find it.”
“Well, it floats. I’m telling you, you can’t lose it. I only need this one.”
“Wow. That’s some ball. Where’d you get it?”
“Oh, I found it.”

Because It’s Time

And it’s the season….

I’ve been so bored this week that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!”
I said, “This catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

I saw a girl crying, so I asked her “Where are your parents?” and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Notice t‌‌hat t‌‌he w‌‌ord “‌‌nothing” i‌‌s a‌‌ p‌‌alindrome.
Backwards i‌‌t s‌‌pells “‌‌gnihton,” w‌‌hich a‌‌lso m‌‌eans n‌‌othing.


Merry Christmas

First posted in 2011, I repeat it here.

-Ralph W. Sockman

A good conscience is a continual Christmas.
-Benjamin Franklin

-Hamilton Wright Mabie


It’s that time. Because I say so.

How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?
I don’t know.
It’s easy, you just open the fridge and put it in.

How do you put a donkey inside the fridge?
No, you open the fridge, take out the elephant, then put the donkey in.

If all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?
The lion, of course, because it would eat all the animals.
No, it’s the donkey because it’s still inside the fridge.


Because we need some.




A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don’t even own bikes….

That’s enough of that.


…just to extend the holiday a bit. Along that line, this is the only post for today.



As one frog said to the other, “How time is fun when you are having flies.”

Because It’s Time

…for some humor.  Bear with me.

Many years ago I was in Wyoming elk hunting with a guide in prime grizzly-bear territory. Camped in an area with a host of bear tracks in the surrounding snow, I asked one evening how to stay safe from grizzly bears.
“First, tie bells to your shoes so they can hear you. Second, learn the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.”
I asked about the scatological difference.
“Grizz scat has bells in it.”

Time for a Break

Your momma’s so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.


Your mamma is so fat she doesn’t need the internet, because she’s already world wide.

“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?”
She said, “Your name never came up.”