Slow sex: with this new trend, you can remove the chaos from your sex life

In today’s society, everything moves faster and faster. People have been doing lots of things recently to slow down and get back to stability, leading to several new concepts such as slow food, slow cities - and even slow sex.

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In modern society, everything moves faster and faster and sex is no exception. Slow sex is a way to counter this and will allow you to find sex more enjoyable and more intense.

Life in the fast lane

Working, shopping, picking up the kids from school, cooking and helping the kids with their homework… Parents' lives truly are full and they constantly have to hurry to get everything done that they need to do before the day ends and they have to do it all over again the next day. As a result, the brain is constantly working, planning, organising, preparing and thinking ahead. And that’s not always easy.

But there is a ‘slow' option to counter this chaos including slow food, slow cities… and now, slow sex. Slow sex is all about taking your time, listening to your bodies, redefining your desires and responding more to your own wishes as well as those of your partner.

The goal: to orgasm quickly

Nowadays, sex has to be efficient. The faster you orgasm the better. How do I get my partner to climax? How fast should I be going? What position should we be in? We use all our energy to orgasm quickly and the answers to these questions become moot. As a result, we tend to think more about doing everything right instead of just having fun with your partner. Slow sex takes exactly the opposite approach.

How does slow sex work?

The idea is simple. It’s about redefining the way you perceive pleasure, creating a mutual desire for sex and listening to what you both need so that you have more fun. Sound too complicated and abstract? Keep reading for more details.

‘How long has it been since you and your partner got busy under the covers? Getty Images

You’re with your partner and you feel that desire stir within you. You get down to business but this time using the principles behind slow sex, connecting your body and mind so that they are one.

It also involves taking the time to connect with your partner so you can visualise, feel and enjoy what you are doing. Take your time, listen to yourself, feel your lust without thinking about anything else. You’ll see all those old feelings will come flooding back.

Listening and responding to what your partner wants to create a more intimate connection Getty Images

Slow sex is the opposite of porn. Sexuality is a big thing in modern society and it is accessible to everyone be it through films, adverts, TV shows, jokes and, especially, on the internet. And what’s more, when you type slow sex into a search engine you are very likely to come across dating websites for adults.

According to a study led by the University of Liège in France, boys are first exposed to pornography at the age of 12, and girls at 13. But sex education isn’t extensive enough nowadays and the topic is often rather taboo at home as well. Without anyone else to turn to pornography often becomes young people’s frame of reference.

Most porn centres aroundfast sex and is less about desire and what the two people actually want. Slow sex can help you gain a new perspective on your relationship and open your eyes to a different side of sex. It can help you develop a closer more intimate connection to your partner so that sex becomes more than just a quick in and out.