GlanceALot said:

I must say that some of W's suggestions in sentence formulation did not "feel" right to me. I am not as arrogant as to suggest that they are wrong, since it is your mother tongue not mine, what I am trying to say is that, to me, it didn't feel like expressing what I want to convey (Example: "The teeth came to a sudden stop at contact with his mithril chain" - Of course this is a grammatically and factually correct sentence, but in the context, it sounds... hm..., so distant, factually observant, detached, unemotional - I don't know if I convey my feelings adequately, fact is - I do not feel comfortable with it).

No problem; a good writer shouldn't take every suggestion to heart and attempt to cater to every single whim of a reader/critic, anyway. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> (English isn't my mother tongue, though, but okay.) I have been writing a very analytical character who sorts through things with almost robot-like logic, so that might have been spilling over. Eheh. Anyway, I like the final version much better; it's more concise and powerful.