Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Favouritism in schools....It's so unfair!

This post is really hard to write without coming across as a bitter parent....I am slightly but I more angry about the situation that keeps happening again and again.....

Ellie my youngest put her name forward to be a house captain at school. She wrote a speech and read it out in front of the whole school...I was very proud of her. There were 5 kids up for the job but the boy who won the position of house captain was a boy who is already a peer mentor, librarian and milk monitor.....I am really happy for the boy in question as he's a lovely lad but it did make angry at the school and think it's always the same kids getting picked for the big/special things....

This has been going on for years. It's not a new thing. When I was a kid the same thing happened....Those who had parents who worked at the school or who were trouble makers got the special treatment....

When Becky was in primary school there was about 4 or 5 kids who would always get the speaking parts in plays, picked to go on special trips, picked for jobs and awards....They used to say Becky needed more confidence. Maybe if she was given speaking parts or responsibility she would have gained some confidence....

There was a time with Becky when there was something at school (I can't remember what) but Becky turned around and said she didn't want to take part because so and so will get picked....They obviously did win and proved Becky right. 

You can guarantee that if there is say 5 kids picked out for something from Ellie's class it's always the same one's....Those who shout the loudest and have the most confidence....

The peer mentors were picked in the first week back at school....They were voted for by the children. Of course they are the same kids that had the job last year and the year before. It is just a popularity contest and it is not fair for other kids who are a little quieter and may do just as well as the popular kids....

Maybe if the quieter kids were given the chance they would flourish....How are they supposed to gain the confidence if the louder kids are getting all the opportunities....

I get that the quieter kids have to learn to speak up to get what they want but when they are getting pushed down again and again when they are young it knocks what little confidence they have. How is that supposed to set them up for life?

Thankfully Ellie was not too upset that she didn't get the role of the house captain....She took it really well, way better than I expected....When I asked her who got the job she said so and so, Obviously!!! At 10 years old even she can see there is favouritism in the school....It's a shame. 

I am going to have a word with the teacher. I will ask why the same kids get picked for everything and what Ellie can do to be picked for things too. 

I have already made my predictions for who will be awarded learner of the year at the end of the school year in July....hahaha! Now that is me "that bitter parent"


  1. It is a shame. We have star of the week picked by the kids and it's never for a specific thing just based on who's the popular one although I get the feeling that the teachers do mix it up a bit so it's less obvious and everyone gets a go. With school council They put themselves forward, then the kids vote. Although in the younger years the teachers again have more day and it tends to be the quieter kids who wanted to who are given the go. N never wants to at the moment.

    I think it's the school plays that will be interesting. Although N's year only has 1 girl so shell get all the good parts automatically. N has to compete with 15 boys

    I remember it being the same at our school. I wasn't made a prefect despite me being on the 6th form committee, catering committee, a music scholar, sports captain for 2 teams and the only girl who actually did her prep supervisor rota. Even my house mistress was surprised. Turns out they thought I did too much but the people they chose were the ones whose parents had.been to the school previously or who were main sports captains. As for the geography prize, I'm still bitter 20 years later. I was top of the class for 2.years, was the only A student and didn't get the prize. My best friend did because she was a house captain and they always won a prize and this was the subject they would have less.people moaning about it.

  2. My son is small. He never get anything in the last 2 years in school as well and get picked on because he is clumsy so no one wants him in their group in PE =(

  3. I'm with you, the same happens here and it's so, so sad. Kids on the cusp just need that belief in them and a bit of responsibility and it can be the start of big change. Mich X

  4. I've not yet noticed this at Jessica's school and thankfully the school I went to was pretty good at giving most children a chance at things. It is really unfair when the same children get picked time and time again though. It's great that Ellie tried so hard and did her speech and that is something to be proud of. The trouble is when children make lots of effort to try to get picked for something without ever getting picked because of favouritism, then eventually they learn that there's no point trying and give up. If only they'd give other children the chance to try, who knows how well they could do?

  5. It does get a bit noticeable that those whose parents are more upper class or business owners get all the good roles and jobs at the munchkins school , it also helps if your parents are RAF and pick the kids up in uniform...nothing changes it was the same 50 years ago when i was at school

  6. This is really tough and really unfair. Kids do need to be given a chance to take a leadership role or represent the school if they want to. I had two kids who got picked for quite a lot of stuff and one who got picked for nothing. Our primary school tended to spread things around a fair bit though. Although while being fair the school decided in their wisdom that the head boy didn't need to play for the football team... They didn't come and explain themselves to my inconsolable child and left me to pick up the pieces.

  7. I don't think it is being a bitter parent...there is some truth in is always the same kids that generally get picked. There should be a rule that they can only do one 'special thing' like mentor, monitor etc to give the other kids a chance

  8. I haven't come across this yet with my son, but I remember it happening in my school when I was a girl and it's infuriating, you're right all children should be give equal chances and opportunities.