14 August 2007

Hey. Wait. Hey. Hey. Hey!

Hey is that tile and a tub?

This is a typical conversation at my house.

Me: "Hey you guys. I mean it this time. No one is going anywhere til everyone is on a sit."

Me: "OK, Except Timmy. You are fine. Go find a snail. You can have a leash later. You are perfect"

Me: "Otterpop that is not a sit. (Otterpop is flinging herself into downs and leaping in the air and flinging herself into another down because she is an overachiever in an evil way.) WAIT THERE! OK. Down is fine"

Otterpop gets a leash. One dog has a leash. That one is now waiting in a down with a frantic look on her face and is making howling noises while down. I am ignoring the howling noises. Ruby has been sitting perfectly this whole time. Gustavo has been sitting this whole time but gets up occassionally and the whole goal of this is that when the word is sit, that is what you do. Nothing else.

Me: "Timmy, come back in here and get a leash"

Timmy comes out of the bushes. He was eating a snail. He walks slow but he is very excited to go on a leash so will pick that over eating snails in the bushes. He will even walk fast and maybe even run. He gets a leash.

Me: "Gustavo Sit. (he sits. as soon as I put a leash on, he gets up.) Gustavo sit. (he sits. as soon as I put a leash on, he gets up.) Gustavo sit. "

This time he gets it. He gets VERY excited to go on a walk because hopefully it will mean running and that is what he likes to do. But if it means walking that means maybe he will see someone ride by on a bike with their dog running which is almost as exciting as running himself to see this and the more he thinks about it the more excited he gets then he thinks about it some more then he gets up!

Me: "Augh!!! FAVO!"

Gustavo flops into a down. Do we see this elsewhere in the Team? Did I mention we are late right now and all I want is 4 dogs on leashes and out the door?

Also this whole time, Ruby has been sitting there, perfectly still in a perfect sit, not really looking at any of the bad dogs. She gets a leash.

Now they know they are ready to go out the gate but that their plan to go out the gate is ruined if anyone moves. Even Timmy knows this. Otterpop is in a down. Ruby has never moved out of her perfect sit. Timmy is in a sit. Gustavo is in a sit.

I put all their leashes on the ground. Now I am not saying anything. This one has been rehearesed and they know, NO ONE WILL GET to GO ANYWHERE if anyone moves and no one better blow it. Gustavo is the wild card.

Me: "Wait"

They are waiting. Thank god. I am late. A contractor will be in the driveway at any minute (unless it is Jerry the marble guy, we seem to have lost contact with him and our bathroom counter).

Everyone is motionless. Otterpop is in a down but we'll go with that. The howling noises have never ceased and sometimes there are barks in there but I am just picking battles right now. Gustavo has not moved. He gets it!

I pick up 4 leashes off the ground. The gate is wide open. I can move around. No one has moved.

Me: "OK"

Bam exciting crazy running here we go down the driveway and the Team is off. OK means release with gusto and that means with gusto we go down the driveway and down the street and the neighbors are likely laughing at the Team Captain who they just know as the Dog Lady and that is an average conversation for me.

Also the Team, all 4 of them, in unison, just chased my cat over the fence.


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