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TTC baby #1 & FTM 2013

I started this group in Jan 2012 for women who were TTC baby #1. I wanted this to... more
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Posted 02/01/2013

Hello ladies!

It's been a while since my stupid laptop died in the ass and my phone decided to turn into a POS and refused to access to net. Grrr to technology! Here's my vent to make me feel better.

People need to STFU and mind their own damn business!!! I got my hair cut the other week, nothing special, just needed to get it done because it had grown soooo long and thick! DH needed to get his done too so we just went somewhere cheap and DH looked after LO whilst I got my hair done first. As usual, everyone is gushing over DD and the lady washing my hair starts asking the usual questions about her name and so on and then she asks if I breastfeed and I said no.

On a normal day, I would've told her to mind her own business but the fact that she asked me this out of no where just threw me, so I answered. She instantly shakes her head and scoffs at me. She then goes on to say things about how my generation are lazy and I'm too young to care about how to properly care for children. Then lectures about the benefits of breastfeeding and how she did it for a year until she went back to work. 

Agaian, I was so shocked! The entire time she was telling me off about it, I kept saying "I am unable to breastfeed" and "I'm not allowed to for medical reasons" and she completely ignored me. Then she said "you at le4ast did it for the few few days though right? Come on, it's not THAT hard" and I again said "I am not able to for medical reasons" and she then said "oh....well I don't see what could stop you from that. How do you want your hair cut?" and that was it. 

She was the rudest person I have had to deal with since having a baby! Firstly, who the fuck asks a stranger if they breastfeed? Is that not a personal question? And how can she work in a service job and pull faces of disapproval at a paying freakin customer and then lecture said customer about what they're "doing wrong" and all that? Seriously, I was infuriated. I didn't even bother complaining to the staff because she was the senior person on that day and tbh, we won't be going back there. I did send an email to their head offices though...no reply of course.

I was so thrown by the judgement of this woman and the complete randomness of the questions that I just sat there astonished. I wanted to cry after leaving that place. I can't believe how judgemental people are. She just assumed I chose to be a lazy ass about it and she doesn't believe in medical reasons. How fucking rude. Why is it her business what I do with MY baby?! I'm doing what is best for my baby and people should GTFO it. So very angry about it. And it really pissed me off that she treated me like I was an immature teen mum. Really over people muttering "babies shouldn't have babies" around me. I'm married and 26 on Sunday so STFU!

That's my vent.

Comments (5)

Posted 02/02/2013
Yeah that's a personal question, I can't believe she asked you that and then proceeded to make you feel bad! That's awful!! I've gotten looks when out because ds is still having issues nursing so I'm pumping. But in public he's getting a bottle, it breastmilk but no one knows that. People are so rude!! Glad you emailed someone even if they didn't respond!


Our baby boy - Raleigh Franklin

Born 12/8/12 at 35 weeks 1 day

AVPM · Original Poster
Posted 02/03/2013

People are just absurd! I would never presume the milk in a bottle isn't breast milk just because it's not in a bottle. That's just ignorant! I also couldn't give a hoot how people choose/need to feed THEIR baby. It's their baby so why should it bother me?

It's funny timing though because about 2 weeks ago, a tv presenter made a comment that said women who breastfeed should be "more classy and not do it out in the open like they do. It's inappropriate and I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable because of it" bla bla bla. Obviously a man...and a moron. It sparked a lot of anger but it's so ridiculous that you can win if you do it and you can't win if you don't. Just absurd!

Posted 02/03/2013
That is totally rude and inappropriate I love that I nurse but I could give 2 hoots about how someone else feeds their child so long as you are in fact feeding them why should I care how? I also would NEVER criticize someone for not doing it but would offer support/advice ONLY if it was asked of me.

We sometimes take a bottle out in public only bc LO is so distract able lately and wiggles like a wild animal making discreet feeding almost impossible lol no one has ever given us looks either way. I used to nurse without a cover and even that resulted in friendly smiles.

It's just such a shame that so many moms are made to feel either lousy or embarrassed no matter what choice they make!

Sorry for both you ladies!! ::hugs::

Myself 27-DH 32 Met the new love of both our lives 10/2/12 @ 4:39am *Max Anthony*

Posted 02/03/2013

Wow...she is lucky you didn't grab the razor & cut her...I would have asked for someone else to do my hair NO WAY would I have continued to sit in her chair...

I am sorry mamma! I know your LO is don't just fine! Gah...

& I am super PRO breastfeeding but NO WAY would I ever even ask someone (unless they were super close) & if they said no, well that's the end of it. When someone decides they aren't going to it's not your place to try & change their mind....dang.

AVPM · Original Poster
Posted 02/05/2013

It's not like I didn't want to either. It really irked me that she simply assumed I was some lazy ass fool. I have medical reasons for not breastfeeding and I shouldn't have to walk around with a neon flashing sign signed by a doctor just for other people to get over it. Bugger that. If anyone were to talk to me like that again, I'll probably lose my shit!

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