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October 26, 2006




They're ruining all my planned Halloween fun! Not fair that they did vampires first, before werewolves!

Science is Cool!
So is math, but not quite so much.

Uh Oh. Punkin, are you OK? There are creams available if you are not.

Yeah??? Well what about that woman in that bar the other night that kept wanting to bite me on the neck. Oh wait...that wasn't me...for get it.

Just remember that there are other methods of sucking our blood than just biting a neck...ie taxes. Don't tell me that there aren't any vampires out there--take a good look at Congress.

Math sucks!!!

This is assuming that a vampire needs to feed once a month. and that every vampire lives forever, and that every vampire bite would turn it's victim, and it rules out feeding on animals.

I think they're just trying to lull us into a false sense of security.

I'm ba-a-a-ack.

And, I'll bat this study is probably true.

In fact, I'll stake my life on it...

If bloodsuckers don't exist, how do you explain politicians???

P.S. My retinas are permanently damaged from that bright purple background...

Yeah! Where's the whole stake through the heart mortality factor, huh? Mr. Smarty Pants with a Transylvanian sounding name. Phtbtbtbtbtttt!

Basic error in their study.

They assume that one bite from a vampire turns the victim into a vampire. Folklore is that only those killed by the vampire turn (and possibly not all of them). Some legends state that it takes three blood drinking sessions to turn a human into a vampire, some just leave it at being drained of all blood.

Therefore the one vampire can, by being careful with his 'herd' drink from the same village for quite some time without producing any 'offspring'.

Heck, if you go with the idea that turning someone requires having them drink the vampire's blood then the creation of new vampires is entirely under their control and they need never fear overpopulation.

So this study only shows that one variation of the Vampire legend is mathematically impossible.

That and professor Costas Efthimiou has never been seen in the light of day.

KCSteve, be careful with too much debunking. We might have to fund a Homeland Security Study to determine just how many vampires are in the US and how they got here.


I read "enhance public literacy" as "suck all the joy and fun out of life." Pffft.

I dunno. There are a few people who suck the life out of me. Most of them are scientists but that's probably 'cause I work at a university. No relation whatsoever to the whole vampire thing so just put that out of your mind.

*cough, cough, cough*

Sorry, to be coffin like that. See blurk, no -ing there.

Yeah, I know. This one was reaching a bit.

Does this mean I can stop wearing garlic necklaces?

A friend's kid goes to that school. Note to self: tell Patty & Rick to get their @sses over there; & see what's really happening on that campus.

Plus, there's the whole AIDS thing! How many of those HIV positives are a result a very alternative lifestyle?

Suzy, if you've been wearing them long enough, I don't think stopping is gonna' help. Just sayin'.

Lookout! 'of' hurling zone.

*zips in for a sec*

estro, you forgot to cross your heart.

Of cruse I fixed it for ya.

sorry 'bout that one, stretchin' the limit, I know.

History Lesson
The best explanation I've ever heard was that the vampire legends grew out of real tuberculosis outbreaks.
/History Lesson

"I vant to suck your blood. But first, can I please see the results of your HIV test?"

no vampires?


suddenly i feel kinda guilty about that whole stake thru the heart, beheading incident last halloween

Well, having been a "Buffy" fan since ever, and NEVER a math fan, I chose fiction over science and math everytime. It's prettier, and the dialog's better. Hmph!

That's okay, TCK, I deleted all the pics pff my phone. No one will ever know. Oh.

Thanks for covering it, Wyo. Got sidetracked by someone at work e-mailing me to look for the proverbial needle in a haystack. This happens 'bout once a week...

I know you'd have gotten to it, estro, but it was just drivin' me batty.

*zips back to work*

ec, I seem to attract a lot of Italians. NTTAWWT

woohoo! My tuition dollars at work.

I showed this to a coworker who immediately pointed out that the researcher did not account for vampire slayers and accidental vampire deaths by splinters and sticks.

Hey, Wyo. Does Eleanor know you're using her zips?

The good people conducting this study have obviously never met my ex-wife.
Or her lawyer.
Or the judge.

I'm sorry, do I sound bitter?

Let's hope Stephen King doesn't read about this.

Suzy, I'd answer that, but my zipper's broken.

and blurk, don't leave out the IRS.

bye all.


*poofs into a bat and flies away to seek new line of work*

Yeah, I forgot about all of the lawyers. I worked for some once, I KNOW that they're vampires!

DPC--math is cool!

YAY I'm home ;)


btw, Dave & judi...on my way home I saw some banners for the Hunt around Sunset!! LOOKED great!

And I think kevlar textbooks should be poofed into bats, NTTIAWWT, so that the chillen would be better defended and have a lesser chance of getting their fingers hit than they would if they were swinging textbooks.

Siouxie - Did you say sunset???

*Usually start looking over my shoulder for vampires at sunset, but now confidently strolls hom...AAAARRggbblllggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh....*

*snork* @ Suzy, her Italians, & blurk

blurkie, bitter is okay - an honest emotion.

Sioux, can't wait to drive home for many reasons, mostly related to this office today, but especially will look for the banners. Oh yes, check your e-ml.

I KNOW we're not supposed to make fun of names but...

who the HE!! names their kid Costas Efthimiou????

*apologizes to all the Costases Efthimiouses out there*

Punkin...I shoulda said Sunset Place, the location of this year's "Hunt".

YOU OK???? need a cross or somethin?

Now lets get the math guys working on something important like a sure fire cant lose roulett strategy for me.

Belated *snork* @ Leetie.

Halloween dilemma.

A certain television program will be on next Tuesday evening. Plus, I arrange my house backwards; nobody that knows me uses the front door and that area is kinda my 'media center.' So, I obviously turn off all of the lights, put the TV on the headphones and don't open the front door to all of the juvenile burglary casers. Right?

Did the Count from Sesame Street review this data?

Yah ok..but who said vampires could do Math?

One! One lovely jugular! Maawahhahahaha!!!!

(This suckage has been brought to you by the letter "O" positive)

This guy is embarrassment to the geek community.

You know, if you're going to break out a frickin calculator to debunk something, you should, you know, research what you're going to debunk.

Leaving aside feeding frequency, Vamp mythology says that you have to bite a vamp back to become one, and more importantly, they have to let you. An important feature in the stories are that vamps are predators and such who are naturally suspicious and selfish, and are normally not interested in siring more vamps...

Plus, he totally ignored slayers! And sunlight! And...

Stake him!

...meaning these guys aren't real? I'm so very very disappointed.


Down with the mathematicians! Destroying our fantasies one calculation at a time!

It's okay, Bumble!

Junk math hasn't proved David Boreanaz isn't real! Or James Marsters!

*sharpens stick* Stay away from the Calculus, people....

Marlo, as anyone knows that watched serious vampire things having to happen in a 1/2-hour soap, Dark Shadows legend-math sides with the Transylvanian author. Buffy math and Christopher Lee math are more like calculus.

Bangi--Count Dracula

CJ, but, but, that's confusing your vamps with your werewolves! You get bit be a were, and yea, you're f...urred.

Marlo scores with a simul, psychic, on response to own post. Difficuly factor 3, final score 9.4.

This update sponsored by the number 7.

Did you hear about the guy walking home on a dark, dark night? He heard a noise behind him...thump, thump, thump. He looked up to see a casket, its lid thumping as it followed behind him. Petrified, the man hurried home. Still the casket followed - thump, thump, thump. He slammed and locked the door to his house. Crash! The casket smashed thru the door. He ran upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom. Thump, thump, thump - up the stairs came the casket and smashed thru the bathroom door. Desperate, the man grabbed the first thing he could find, a bottle of cough syrup in the medicine cabinet, and threw it at the casket.
.the coffin stopped.

CJ, is it scary, to be in my mind?

And hey! Stay out of the back room. It's...dirty.

lookin' up the thread, it's nice to see so many names. looks like a Hall-0-Fame reunion er sumpthin.

Punkin, ya done good. Or did you wanna be called Bitey now?

i'm really bad at math, can i still believe in vampires?

Bumble, Marlo.....I have that same photo, framed on my desk. My teenaged daughter gave it to me. When people ask who they are, my 4 yr old granddaughter says "Those are Nanny's boyfriends"

So, *brandishing crossbow* stay away from my boyfriends!

Article says he started his analysis with this info: "On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911."

Er, yeah. On Jan. 1, 1600, they were barely even sure when was Jan. 1 was.


cg, if anybody's got no fear of vampires, it oughta be you. None would go near your house!

But, Punkin, they can't be _your_ boyfriends, they're _my_ boyfriends...

They're cheating on me!

*pops tiny crossbow from pocket*

I've been pouring over this article for the better part of an hour. I can't quite put my finger on it but something just doesn't add up.

Let the groans begin!

CJ-I believe that, if you were to rank all the major events in an adult-type person's life, the first new House in what, 3 weeks is much, much higher than Halloween. Besides, do you really want to contribute to the dental visits of a bunch of kids? Or you could just leave a bowl of candy out with the lights off. If the first kid who sees it empties it, well, that's not your problem.
**drool** at Hugh Laurie, anytime, anywhere.

*snork* @ Annie!

marlodianne~ Whew. That's a relief.

And I wish I could stay away from calculus, but I have tons of it for homework, and it's due Monday. :-)

*dashes off to statistics class*

crossgirl, I was a music major in college, because it had no math requirement. Did I have talent? I had a checkbook!

*snork* @ blurk

Oh whoa. I typed that last before Punkin's comment; it just took forever to post.

Anyway, you two can fight over them all you want. I'll just keep him.

♪ Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand.
I don’t care; I’m still free. You can’t take the sky from me… ♫

marlo - how's about we share?

*can you imagine the vampire hickies???*

I can.

Ok.....must think about math, yeah, math.......

*groan* @ blurk



Bumble, he's Canadian, so I get him too.

marlo~ Oh no you don't. And yes, that Lassiter works.

And if it doesn't, I've got a backup plan by the name of Vera. ;-)

Punkin, I don't know, they're pretty exhausted from trying to keep up with me...You want them while they're sleeping?

As for the biting, well, I try not to leave marks...*innocent look*

Bumble, but you can't understand him! He knows medical care like you can only dream of!

*snork* @ Wyo, way up there. Annie, you know dang well you tell that joke to the kids and then release them to society.

Mare: I can't do it! The cute kids from dusk to 8pm must be candified, so I have to cover the entire front of the house with scary sheets. Now, I'm just plain wierd and think it is much more work than bags of candy for me to spend the next several days picking delicious grapefruit from the backyard. That way, when every darling bangs on the door and moons me, I can hand them a delicious, fresh, healthy grapefruit.

I just had the house painted, but am curious as to how it would look draped in toilet paper. And grapefruit. Thoughts? Advice?

Meanie made my point for me, but I am still left with the question as to how this guy arrived at his precise population count. Unless, perhaps, he was there then...

Bumble, yea, another FireFly Fan!!

Me, too, Bumble!

CJ, were you lookin' for tips from urban or urbane folk? Just seekin' clarification.

(not that I qualify either way)

Any absurd comments are welcome, as there is no right answer.

We're also coming into drought season and crazy neighbor [my favorie] lady is going to start pumping every time the lights go off [so's her lawn will stay purtiest]. I suck [in so many ways] from the same water table and will suck air and will want to sneak over and start greasing her windshield, to make her think she's going blind and unsafe to drive. Now, I'm thinkng, save the neighbor-children and start boring a hole in her well intake pipe. I could thread it, insert a machine screw, and make her well suck air when mine does. That would work, but she'd never figure it out and never throw tangerines at me. Dilemmas.

'round here, we just tip over the privvy.

CJ - Or you could install a switch that you could then hit on her pump when she starts pumpin', so she thinks it running, but it's not. Maybe she won't figure it out. :) Really gotta dislike the water hogs.

Now, Wyo, I clearly stated that was an urban dilemma. In the sticks, I could bribe all of the older kids with garage time and cookouts. In the city, Moms drive kids around neighborhoods and let 'em loose or they drive up. I'd shoot them all, but there's no season for Mom's Kids. In St. Pete, there is no in-between. There are elderly and there are Section 8 kids. I would love to have young neighbor boy [or gal!] spending time in my shop, but he has no sense of ethics or safety. My shop would be empty, next time I came home, and neighbor boy would be crying, 'cause he got taken by what he thought were friends. Urban is just tough, but my neighbor kids could be great. If only their Mom would stop coming over and unbuttoning more jean's buttons.

Envy you some rural things.

kittypaws, baligurl and marlodianne~ Everyone I know who has see Firefly loved it. Can someone please explain why it went off? *whimper*

My sister tells me one of her Firefly fanatic friends went to a premiere of Serenity where some guy had brought his guitar and was playing and singing this. It was so good. Such a shame it never took off.

Honest truth and I think it's funny. I'm on vacation last week, this week, and next. I have been working a little, just to keep things moving. I wanted a good, very well-organized person to take over some projects. She wanted the same. One of my toughest is an in house project and not even as far a commute, as the office, for an employee out of the headquarters. I arranged to fly in from out of town today, while on vacation, and show her the ropes. She really wanted this project. At the last minute, she called me and said she was allowed no choice. The two top officers decided she was going to work a sales show, instead. Her last words to me, as she got dragged off head and foot, were, 'I'm sorry, but my brown face is needed elsewhere.'

I postulate that I work with the best people, but for the worst company on the Blog. Takers?

That only means that we are ALL Vampires. Sounds about right to me.


You have earned my eternal emnity for that remark!


You have earned my eternal emnity for that remark!

But did this guy take into account all of the Vampire Slayers? Hello!! What about Buffy?

I thought this was going to be about their irreflectivity being impossible.

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