These days I'm always hot to foxtrot

James Bond is back, with his suits, stunts and slain enemies. But where is the sex? A friend who has seen a preview says there is a distinct lack of flirting and double entendres. 'What's happened to the battle of the sexes?' he moaned. 'There's no fun, just killing.'

Well, I replied, all the flirting, sexiness, passion and tension that you could ever need - enough for 10 Bond movies - is on the telly these days, on the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing

Like millions of others, I have fallen in love with this show and its subject matter. A few years ago, my parents became smitten with ballroom and Latin American dancing and were transformed. They started going to classes three times a week, talked about it with contagious enthusiasm and even practised in their living room, in full view of their neighbours.

I couldn't help but join in. I used to think I had two left feet, but now I can waltz, quickstep, cha-cha, samba, salsa, tango, rumba and jive.

Of course, here in Scotland, among the tougher religions of the north, it used to be said that dancing is the devil's work. And it's true that there should be a health warning.

Dancing takes you places you don't expect. You have to let go of yourself, lose your inhibitions, surrender control, swivel your hips. Which for repressed, uptight people like me and, dare I say it, quite a lot of Brits and definitely swimmer Mark Foster, can be surprisingly difficult.

You can see it in Strictly. It is not surprising that every series is accompanied by rumours about affairs, jealousy and relationship breakdowns. A few years ago, newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky was forced to issue a denial that she was doing more than just dancing with professional dancer Brendan Cole. Now gossip has it that his current girlfriend is so worried about the growing chemistry between him and George Clooney's ex Lisa Snowdon that she is attending their training sessions.

Last year's series had similar drama. GMTV presenter Kate Garraway won damages following false claims she had a fling with her dance partner Anton du Beke. The series also resulted in the end of the decade-long partnership between professionals Flavia Cacace and Vincent Simone when she fell for EastEnders actor Matt di Angelo. He was clearly head over heels. As Flavia said at the time: 'Sexual chemistry and having fun is very important when you're dancing.'

Indeed it is.

In the right circumstances, it can be powerful medicine. Watching my parents dance after 37 years of marriage is inspiring. My father, a lovely man but one not inclined to let himself go or express too much emotion, unless Celtic won a European Cup, is a sight to see strutting his stuff on a dance floor.

Yet the dangers are obvious. I fall in love with my teacher every time I dance with him. It doesn't matter that he's married and 70. He looks two decades younger and moves like a dream. Cares and worries fall away when I am led around the dance floor by him. Credit crunch, falling house prices, increasing unemployment? So what?

So let Bond carry his troubles with him as he seeks revenge and eschews sexual intrigue. I'll be on the sofa on Saturday night. Give me John Sergeant. And Bond girls? I'd far rather Kristina Rihanoff. The devil's got all the best moves.