Miss Manners.

When Bored With Same Old Story, Daydream

April 12, 2000|By Judith Martin. Distributed by United Feature Syndicate Inc.

Dear Miss Manners--I love my father-in-law very much, but he insists on telling long, tedious stories over and over. He asks periodically whether I'm interested in the story.

How can I tell him that I am not interested without indicating I don't care? I have tried telling him about our lives, but he doesn't seem interested, or else he can't hear us and it makes him feel old. Please, how do I handle this situation in a polite and caring way?

Gentle Reader--By woolgathering.

Miss Manners is offering this as a compromise between your wish to do the polite, caring thing, which is to listen to those stories, and your wish to head him off by admitting you don't want to listen, which is understandable but rude.

True, he gave you an opening, and you could try saying, "Oh, yes, that's one of my favorite stories," but since he already will be started by then, and since he doesn't listen to your replies, Miss Manners doesn't offer you much hope. She suggests developing the ability to maintain a rapt expression while running over in your mind the plot of that novel you always meant to write.

Dear Miss Manners--Could you provide any information regarding what teenage girls and boys should and should not do during proms, dinners, etc.? Some of my questions are: Which wrist should a girl wear her corsage on? Where should a young man's boutonniere be worn? What forks should they use for specific foods at the dinner table?

Gentle Reader--Flowers are generally worn on the left, and forks are used from the outside of the place setting toward the plate itself. That part is easy.

But Miss Manners really doesn't want to give impressionable young people a list of things they should not do during proms and dinners, much less during the etc. part of the evening. It seems to her that they manage that quite well enough without her assistance.

Dear Miss Manners--When sitting down to dinner or lunch, wearing a sweater or coat, do you remove same and drop it around the chair back, or do you remove it as you are sitting and push it back over the chair?

Gentle Reader--A lady's wrap is draped gracefully over the back of her chair, lining out, although this does not entitle her companions to lean across to read the label. A gentleman does not have this problem, as Miss Manners trusts that he checks his coat and would not be caught dead removing his jacket at the table.

