My husband Will Not job hunt....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2002
My husband Will Not job hunt....
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 12:37am


Please give me your upfront advice.

I have been married 5 years to "Jim"  I am the breadwinner (I make just $28,000 by the way).  My husband lately only has a part-time job, has run out of money --  I am paying 97% of all the bills, and he is being **slow**  in a Job Search -

Quick background:  We both worked full time for years while we dated.  Jim did "ok" financiallly if he worked overtime hours some, which he did (that company is now out of biz., was an industry hurt by the recession) ......  Since we've married, he's had money issues.  In fact, we'd been married less than a year when he called my mother (without asking me) and borrowed $600 from her for his share of our household bills.  We went to a marriage counselor over that and a few other related things.  

His job situation:  He hurt his ankle badly at work, had surgery (I felt badly for him), recovered -- he got a cash $12,000 settlement but had to resign the job as part of settlement.

He has only been able to find a 16 hour per week job since his settlement, and has eaten through his settlement. Normally, he gives me a certain amount for part of rent, water bills, groceries.  His last 2 checks to me bounced and he said he has $60 to his name.   I am now faced with paying about $600/month additional - for his share of bills - until he can find a 2nd job or different job with more hours.  I have been charging groceries on my credit card to be able to cover all the bills myself

Here's my dilemma (1) He's had the 16 hour per week job 10 weeks and only job-hunts "some" -- he will apply online for posted jobs, but will not go out in person and will not make a different version of his resume or attach cover letters.  My dad said yesterday "maybe Jim should go knock on some doors if he has no money and is facing car payments, child support payments to his ex, having me (the wife) pay all the bills"  Jim says to me that he DID job hunt in person a bit in July, but "all companies make you apply online now"  I'll find a job online and he'll say "I'll never get that one, it pays $17/hour, why should I bother to apply"  The last time Jim ran out of money, he build up at $2,000 debt with me as I paid all the bills, plus he borrowed from 2 of his brothers. He paid us all back.  What would u do if your dh would job hunt just 1 hour a day, not attach a cover letter, and expect u to pay all the bills?  My daughter loves him and I love him, but I expect more effort in a job search - in about a month he'll probably lose his car due to non payment.  FYI he does apply to WalMart, seasonal jobs online but rarely gets an interview - advice?



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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 6:18am

It reads like he is depressed and needs professional help.  He truly is in a bad position and today's job market is very different from only a couple of years ago.  Add all the other weight and it is no reason why he is depressed.  In olden times one would "shotgun" for jobs today that does not work.  Yes job hunting from a computer is the most efficient method of submitting resumes and doing employer research.  And there are state agencies to help.  Yes he might need retraining to be able to be hired by a better company.  IMO asking the state for help is reasonable and maybe he could get enough money to get above water.