Mosaic Body Treatment

Those of us who would like to have our cake and eat it are drawn like moths to the flame to treatments with words such as 'contouring' in the title. Who wants to waste their salad days weighing out mean portions of grilled chicken, when you could lie on a comfy massage table in Harvey Nicks, have your podge spirited away, then pop to the fifth floor for champagne and a burger?

Except, alas, it doesn't quite work like that. 'I want a flat tummy,' I explained to the lovely therapist, Laura, when she asked what I wanted from the treatment, which involves exfoliation, massage and a peel-off body mask. 'Treatments can't change your shape,' she replied. 'They can only deal with water retention, and help with skin tone and texture.'

She was right. The oiling and pummelling left me marvellously silky-smooth, but sadly still with no resemblance to Christy Turlington. No matter: Laura's massage while the body mask worked was worth a million size 8 bikinis.

· Mosaic treatment, £85 for 75 minutes, Daniel Hersheson Hair & Body, Harvey Nichols, London SW1, 020-7201 8797.