Mixed feelings about a British guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2005
Mixed feelings about a British guy
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 12:55am
Here's the situation:

I've been seeing this British guy for the past 7 months since he first moved here(he's 23 and lives with 3 male roomates, i'm a couple years older.) This is going to be a long one, so I appreciate you reading this, it might sound strange:

There was a good connection and things were good for the first 3 months. Sex was great, and happening often. He was being charming with me and talking often. Then one day he brought up the topic about where the relationship was going. We agreed it wouldn't be too serious. Except he never called me his girlfriend, nor would he ever call what we had a relationship. He just called me "the girl he was seeing." Thing is, we only saw each other on weekends because of the distance. Then, after Christmas he started acting all weird and different and a bit self-centered around me and brought up the fact that this "thing" we had was getting to the point of being serious but he still

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 1:15am

My take is that he is luke warm about you.. He likes you, but doesn't really want a relationship with you.. If he did, he'd be calling and asking you out. When a guy sends mixed messages, it can really throw a girl off and knock her confidence and that doesn't end up being so sexy. So my advice is, don't settle for this. This is a casual hook up; this guy isn't dating you and he doesn't seem to want to get to know you either. Sex is great, but unless you are one of those rare women that can separate sex from emotions; casual sex often ends up feeling a bit empty.

Many times men get more hooked on a girl when she demands (by her actions) that he takes the time to get to know her before they have sex. This means that once sex happens, the guy is much more invested in the girl and feels more comfortable because there has been all this time getting to know each other before the sex happened.. And since you've waited a good amount of time and had a good few dates, by the time the sex happens, you are not wondering what it means; you KNOW it means he's into you, because you've been building up to this for a while. Try and set things up a little like that the next time you meet someone you like. Make him date you for a while before having sex and you won't be sitting there stressing like you are now (lord knows, I have been there done that!!)

You are 23 and there are plenty of fish in the sea.. Throw this Brit Boy back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 1:35am

Scrappy, you haven't responded to the responses on the "should I stay or should I go" board.

Perhaps we're not telling you what you want to hear?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2010
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 7:25am

I think you two really hit it off for a while. And then as so often happens, after the first infatuation wore off, one person (you) was

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 8:54am
Personally, I believe he's not into you like you are with him. You're chasing him. In my opinion it's over and he just doesn't want to come flat out and tell you. You call, come over, have sex, to him it's all good. If you want more then move on from him and find someone that is better suited for you and wants what you want in a relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 03-31-2010 - 7:27pm

nhgal, in Scrappy's other post she said that during their post Christmas chat, he talked about them stepping back to being "friends".

Breakups don't get much clearer than that.