When It Comes To Foreign Substances, Listen To Gaylord Perry

For those who don't remember Gaylord Perry, despite being the only member of baseball's Hall of Fame named "Gaylord," he also holds practically all of the modern-day petroleum-based pitching records. All of our current CSI television programs combined would be hard-pressed to figure out how Perry kept the spitball alive a full 60 years after it was officially banned in the majors, but he did; getting caught only once, in 1980. So what would you say that Perry's take would be on baseball's current steroid controversy? Not what you might think. He wants the game cleaned up.

And come to think of it, who would know better than Perry, the greatest cheater who ever played? And we mean that in the best possible way. Said Kevin Modesti of the LA Daily News:

Doctoring a ball without being detected while standing on a mound in front of 40,000 people requires the sort of finely honed skill, wit and nerve that defines a great baseball player. Proceeding to admit it bespeaks an admirable audacity. (But) Jamming a needle in your backside while hiding in a clubhouse bathroom stall is the act of an oaf, a dullard and a coward. Denying it in the face of scientific evidence suggests the shrinkage the experts warn about is already in effect.

Makes sense when you put it that way. We guess.

To Some, Cheating Is In The Eye Of The Beholder [LA Daily News]