Tales from the front.

He's Found Soul Mate But She's Not Sold On It

June 17, 1999|By Cheryl Lavin, Tribune Staff Writer.

Dear Cheryl: I met a woman that I believe could be my soul mate, but she is involved in a long-distance relationship. I decided to express my feelings toward her in a letter. Ever since then she barely can speak or even look at me. I keep telling her that I respect the fact that she has a boyfriend and I can handle being friends.

Prior to sharing of my feelings, we seemed to be pretty good friends. When she would say goodbye she would look me right in the eyes. Sometimes I would feel as if her eyes were touching my soul. (It occurred at least six times.) I have this very strong sense that we are meant to be together. I scare myself when I think this way. Is there anything I can do to get her to relax around me? I'm afraid of ruining what could possibly be the best thing in my life.

Frustrated and confused

Dear F and C: You believe strongly in fate, so you have to accept that if it's meant to be between you and her, it will happen. But now, you have to let her go. Get out of her life, as hard as it may be.

Dear Cheryl: I've been seeing this guy for about a year and a half, and he has a couple of quirks that are driving me crazy. The worst is he likes to go to work at all hours of the night. He's an attorney, so he does have to work a lot, but have you ever heard of someone working from 10 a.m. until 8 p.m. and then going home to walk the dog and going back to work at 10 p.m. and working until 2 or 3 a.m.? He does this at least three times a week. Or he'll go in at noon and pull an all-nighter.

The other huge problem is that he has a tendency to hang on to his old girlfriends. Last weekend we went to a christening. He was the godfather, and he failed to tell me that the godmother was an old girlfriend. This would be no big deal if it didn't happen all the time. I've asked him not to put me in those situations anymore, and he does it anyway.

This guy is a self-proclaimed totally honest man, yet why do I have the feeling I'm being duped all the time? It seems like he's finding more excuses to get away from me than to be with me and purposefully disregarding my feelings. I guess it's time to wake up and smell reality, huh?

Am I crazy?

Dear Am I: No, you're not crazy. If you were a priority, he'd arrange his hours so he could see you and he'd respect your feelings. It may be time to join his exes. They seem to see him more than you do.

