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29 M Walnut, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Okay, so like, let me first start off by saying that I'm totally okay with the idea of dying alone. I mean, I've thought about it, and at first I was all, "I don't really KNOW if I'm okay with that?", but then I was all, "No, I am. That's totally fine. I'm okay with that." So...I'm not on here looking for someone to die with. That being said, let's say we meet up at some point and we're driving somewhere, maybe to dinner or drinks or a comedy club or something, and we're doing the whole semi-awkward small-talk get-to-know-you thing -- you're like, " many OkCupid dates have you been on so far?" and start to perspire as I tilt my head and begin to deeply ponder the question; perhaps I even glance down to my hands and start counting on my fingers, or mouthing names to myself, etc. -- and all of a sudden there's a ton of brake lights in the traffic ahead, and you turn to me and are all, "OH MY GOD I'M FLOORING THE BRAKES AND NOTHING'S HAPPENING!!!", and I'm all, "HOLY SHIT!!! 17 dates btdubbs...", then suddenly a Mack truck comes out of NOWHERE and is all, *HOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKKKKKKK* with its ridonculously blinding lights, and we turn to each other and are both like, "O_O .... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" and then it just like, SLAMS us and we're both dead and stuff? If THAT happens, I wouldn't be in Heaven going, "Damn it, I really was hoping to die alone and not with that OkCupid girl." I mean, if it happens, it happens, ya know? You should probably get your brakes looked at though, cuz I'll be honest with you, that's NOT how I'm trying to check out. You never know, maybe we'll fall madly in love and then I'll go crazy and forget who you are, and we'll eventually peace out spooning in some old fogies home Notebook style. Or spooning on a floating bed aboard the Titanic as our room floods with freezing water. Well, not THE Titanic, cuz like, that already know what I mean. The point is, if your brakes fail and we die on our first date we could be missing out on those other more romantic options. But I really am okay with dying alone, so no pressure.

Here are some things about me:
-I like playing tennis. I started playing when I was like 7. Took lessons, played in tournaments, school team, etc. I even string my own racquets.
-I once played and recorded all the parts to "Where Is My Mind." You know that song at the end of Fight Club when all the buildings come crashing down?
-One time I tried playing saxophone. I spent about 30 minutes blowing into it while pushing every button combination in existence only to produce a single tone. It was totally broken.
-I think things like laser tag and go karts are fun. And paintball too. Because who doesn't like shooting people up with little balls of goo?
-Tweek is my favorite character on South Park. "Ahhh it's too much pressure! "
-My favorite concert was the Eagles at Hollywood Bowl.  I've been known to frequent classical ones as well. The sound of strings warming up is quite nice. Rock, rap, country, jazz, whatever. Just as long as it doesn't scream it's cool beans.
-Cooking is the best. It always tastes better when you make it yourself. Who needs Burger King to have it your way?
-I'm a championship winning card player. I've been told that makes me a professional.
-I took home first place in a baby contest. I still have the trophy for it. If you want to know what it was in you'll have to ask!
What I’m doing with my life
After graduating I jumped into go-karting and worked with two national championship winning teams which was hilariously entertaining. Who wouldn't enjoy being a part of real life Mario Kart and watching little koopa troopas race around? Now I work on video games for Activision.
I’m really good at
Being funny!! Well...kind of. See, I'll say one funny thing and everyones like "OMG YOU'RE SO FUNNY!" and I'm like "....really?" and then I get stressed out because I feel like I have to be funny again. SO much pressure. I can't handle it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told my actions can take minion-like form. :D
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TV: Breaking Bad, Dexter, Big Bang Theory, Game of Thrones, Arrested Development, South Park, Fullmetal Alchemist, New Girl

Movies: Pulp Fiction, Die Hard, Forrest Gump, Mallrats, Fifth Element, Fight Club, Mean Girls, Twelve Monkeys, Juno, Star Trek, Good Will Hunting, Annie Hall, My Cousin Vinny

Music: Beatles, Elliott Smith, Radiohead, Interpol, Strokes, Pixies, Beach Boys, Eagles, Pink Floyd, Doors, Cake, Aimee Mann, Beck, Shins, Sublime, Foster the People, Two Door Cinema Club

Food: Teriyaki, sushi, and pizza are some of my favorites. And gummy bears.
The six things I could never do without
1) Plumbing. Yes, plumbing is important. Plumbers are important. Disagree? How dare you.
2) Pandora. Like a mystical fairy you magically know what kind of music I like.
3) GPS. Even though you like to get me lost, I forgive you.
4) Bread. *looks at Atkins dieters* I propose an alternative dieting system where you should eat as much bread as possible.
5) Electricity. You know how shitty it is when the power goes out?
6) Hugs! I'll give you a hug when we meet!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
And I recently discovered they never clean the ball pits at Chuck E Cheese’s and it totally just blew my mind. I mean back in the day I was all up in there. I mean come on, what kid doesn’t want to jump into a bucket of giant sized Skittles, swim around and pop out shouting ‘Bazinga!’? I suppose it's still the best place to go for bigger representations of protons, neutrons, and carbon atoms.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was a kid I had a friend named Luis. He was a slender Italian guy that liked to run around and collect coins. I called him Luigi by accident.

I failed my road test 4 times....I couldn't parallel park. I get anxiety just thinking about it. The same guy failed me 3 times, and then I met Sandra. She believed in me and I passed. God bless Sandra.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
You should message me if
-You're musically inclined.
-You enjoy playing games.
-You like hiking, museums, or shooting hoops.
-You want to teach me something.
-Your first thought when watching this is awesome! Let's go!