Muscle And Flow

Vin Diesel's steely exterior can't hide his soft spot for Wonder Woman

Bradely Patrick/Headpress/Retna

Who is the real Vin Diesel? Mark Vincent, the Dungeons & Dragons-obsessed kid who grew up in boho artists' housing in Greenwich Village and telemarketed his little butt off to finance his first film? Or is he fundamentally the Vin Diesel of adolescent boys' imagination: a smooth-domed, titanium-biceped human wrecking ball who went from beating up real thugs in nightclubs to beating up pretend thugs in popcorn flicks like xXx and The Fast and the Furious? Don't look at us for an answer, though you may find it illuminating that he'd rather belt out a show tune than, say, crush a beer can on his head to impress women. This month, you'll see Diesel flexing his downtowniest thespian muscle in Sidney Lumet's courtroom drama Find Me Guilty, a role for which he packed on 20 pounds and glued on a ferret-resembling toupee. Even given all that sensitive stuff, we don't advise you to tease him about his hair. That is, unless your name happens to be Bruce Lee.

ELLE: When was the last time you cried while watching a movie?

VIN DIESEL: I have a twin brother, so every time I watch Ordinary People, I always imagine that I've lost him out in the ocean somewhere, and I just break into tears.

ELLE: I found this on a highly reputable website: "When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, 'Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!' Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with." Pretty accurate take on your early love life?

VD: It might describe my life in the '80s when I was bouncing at clubs. Most of my confidence came from being with ladies, because I certainly wasn't getting any acting jobs.

ELLE: If we assembled the women you'd slept with in a room, how would you be received?

VD: With open arms.

ELLE: Not one solitary girl hurling a coffee mug at your head?

VD: Oh my God, of course. There are millions of them. "You never called me, you son of a bitch!" But I grew up in a household with a lot of strong female role models. Women are sacred.

ELLE: Give us a snapshot of some adolescent humiliation.

VD: When I was 16, Dreamgirls was playing on Broadway. On Valentine's Day I waited on line for five hours to get tickets for me and my girlfriend. I get a little suit, flowers, and go over to her house to pick her up. As I'm waiting for her, she's dropped off by another guy. She told me that he was giving her driving lessons.

ELLE: I'm sure he was.

VD: It's experiences like that that make us men a little more callous.

ELLE: I read you were into Dungeons & Dragons. Is this true?

VD: I was completely into it for many, many years to the point where if I wasn't bouncing, I was playing all night.

ELLE: Were you the only kid in America playing D&D regularly and getting laid?

VD: Probably. Every other moment of my life was about women.

ELLE: Have you ever watched a movie and identified with a character romantically?

VD: Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind. Here's this guy saying, "I may be rough around the edges, but I'm the better man for you, and you're still locked over there with pretty boy."

ELLE: Which actors working now or in the past could kick your ass?

VD: Bruce Lee.

ELLE: Who were your very first pop-culture crushes?

VD: The girls of Charlie's Angels. I was only eight, but still, it was like, What I would do to these girls. Jaclyn Smith blew my mind. She was the most beautiful girl in the world.

ELLE: I read that you've dubbed your biceps "the kryptonics." Have you ever introduced a woman to them by name?

VD: No! What do you take me for? I'm much more romantic than that. I'm more likely to sing Broadway show tunes to a girl.

ELLE: How much dough could get you to go without sex for a year?

VD: It wouldn't be a matter of money. I've turned down twentysomething million dollars for movies.

ELLE: Surely you'd do it for an Oscar...

VD: I don't know about an Oscar, but I might do it for a character. If it's an amazing role, I'll do anything.

ELLE: You've inspired me. I'm going to write a brilliant screenplay about a eunuch, and I'm going to make you abstain in preparation.

VD: I don't want to go too far with the eunuch thing.

ELLE: People have been surprised to see you wearing fake hair in the clips of your new film, Find Me Guilty. Tell me, your shaved head: a choice or a response to baldness?

VD: Let's put it this way, we're all going to lose it eventually, so you're better off making a stylistic choice early. Then nobody will be able to fault you for it later when it's your style and you're really losing it.

ELLE: Your mom is an astrologer. Do you ever feel like she's making up stuff about the stars just to get you to settle down?

VD: No. She doesn't exert pressure. And she's covered with grandchildren right now. But eventually, you gotta supply the babies.

ELLE: Have you ever been in the presence of a man whose magnetism with women has put you to shame?

VD: [Long pause] Have you?

ELLE: If I walk to the corner deli I feel that way.

VD: No, I really haven't. And I guess even if I did feel that way, I'd just have to challenge that feeling.

ELLE: What woman represents your beauty ideal?

VD: Salma Hayek.

ELLE: Lynda Carter in Wonder Woman or Linda Evans in Dallas?

VD: Lynda Carter, clearly.

ELLE: Jessicas—Alba or Simpson?

VD: I've got to say Jessica Simpson because she's got an incredible voice. Doesn't she have an incredible voice?

ELLE: Well...she's not exactly Christina Aguilera.

VD: Don't be mean. This isn't a time to start critiquing people.

This Is A Developing Story

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