Chris Evans cocks and squeezes without even touching his piece in Push.

It's been said that Ayo! Scott's pipe game is superhuman, but he is in fact mortal, flesh and blood and spunk all up in the woman that you think loves you. Not that Ayo! blames you for thinking he might be a superhero. Nowadays, two out of every three movies to hit theaters is a tights, cape and cod piece production that's either adapted from comic books or inspired by them to create new generic heroes, so they're on the brain like Ayo!'s tip...

Of these films, Push is the latter. Like many superhero stories, it begins with Nazis experimenting on people to transform them into weapons. As a result, a portion of the world's population now has powers like telekinesis, clairvoyance and mind control. A shady government agency called the Division is trying to gather people with powers and turn them into an army, killing anyone who resists. Telekinetic Nick Gant (Chris Evans) teams up with clairvoyant Cassie Holmes (Dakota Fanning) and his mind-controlling ex girlfriend Kira Hudson (the seemingly comatose Camilla Belle) in Hong Kong to pursue a mysterious briefcase that might bring the Division down. In pursuit of them is the high-powered Division agent (Djimon Hounsou) who killed Gant's dad.

As superpowered flicks go, Push is notable for not relying heavily on special effects (because audiences clearly hated all the hot-ass flying stunts in Iron Man) and for effectively flipping the powers into plot twists. Still, it ends up feeling like a marginal superhero'y'know, the kind that gets killed off so the real heroes can investigate and save the day. While worth a watch, Ayo! suggests you hold off for the DVD. Or, if you wanna go against Ayo!'s advice, peep the trailer and buy a ticket. Just know that 122 minutes is a long time for Ayo! to get up in your girl's guts with his super sperm.