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sublime_wreckage's profile

United States 
Favourite metal genre(s):
black/"old school" death/"war" 

I like whatever pleases my ears, so I don't restrict myself to certain types of music. It's varied at times, mind-numbingly narrow at others, and it just comes down to personal taste... whatever that may be at the moment. It's all about the music, though; philosophy, politics, and popularity be damned.

** Review Ratings ** (similar to the grading scale during school -- don't bother reading further unless you're really that interested in how my grading curve fleshes out, as its quite lengthy... and meant to be somewhat of a joke in parts).

100% (A+) = A flawless record... does not exist, therefore no 100s handed down, ever!

99-90% (A range) = Damn Near Perfect, 99 is the highest score I will hand out and should be considering godly; everything else is still classic and very essential. These albums may have small flaws like short lengths, or crappy production that brings them down. All in all these are minor gripes that really have nothing to do with the musicianship or material itself, nevertheless, these are noted here. Albums that score above 90 are of the highest rating and are always considered worthy of purchase, no exceptions!

89-80% (B range) = Above average, though relatively far removed from perfection, the albums that reside here are still pretty essential material. Perfect concept albums reside here unless they are absolutely flawless or have bonus material to boost them up (sorry guys, concept albums tend to contain a lot of filler and sacrifice the quality of singular tracks in hopes that, together, they will be greater than the sum of their parts--while this makes concepts special, it also requires set aside time to pay full attention which relegates the album to infrequent listens as well killing the potential for stand out cuts to be put into playlist rotations, on portable mp3 devices, etc.). All other albums residing in this range are pretty well executed, but may contain a filler track or two. Sometimes records are flawless in every respect, but can be monotonous---songs may sound the same, and ultimately indistinguishable tracks tend to be more easily forgotten (Dark Funeral's Vobiscum Sathanas is a good example of this, though funny enough it finds its way into the percentile just below this one for it's cheese factor).

79-70% (C range) = These are getting to be in the average range, but still slightly above average in the majority; average breaks in around 72%. A lot of albums here have serious potential but may just be too derivative, or considered hokey-pokey as a (sub) genre. Musicianship is still pretty stellar here, vicious attitude is present. Half of the songs may be flawless in every respect, while the other half are just blah; or maybe the album contains more than one major flaw (being monotonous on top of playing derivative material will land your butt here, no matter how much slaying you may do at times).

69-60% (D range) = This is a barely passing grade. The higher scores---68-69%---can be considered to just break into average range, everything else is getting to be below average. Half the albums here, scoring in around 65% and under, are really at the point of being disappointments in an otherwise good discography. Generally the focus or writing-style which made a band great is dismissed here in favor of bullshit trends or lousy experimentation. Though, often albums still retain qualities of the original greatness and contain a couple tracks that wouldn't be half bad by themselves or on another disc. Unknown bands found in this percentile may just be immature, or do not yet possess a voice of their own; its very possible they may improve on further releases and impress the metal community.

59-50% (F range, top tier) = This is a failure of an album, but just barely so. Some of the qualities that make good bands might reside on the album sporadically, but the music here is mostly garbage; not one song is completely void of some major flaw, or several minor ones. Good bands that have albums in this range can do way better... or maybe are considered to have done so 10 years ago (Slayer albums from the late 90s until present day are prime examples of this). Other bands with such grades are mostly hopeless; they are in need of training, or simply copycats, and not very good ones at that. With this group there may be room for improvement, however... as shocking as that may seem.

49-25% (F range, mid tier) = Utter Failure. No great band would ever find their albums in this range, no matter how bad the album was. The only exception would be if a founding member, or members, mostly responsible for the band's early glory had left the band long ago... virtually rendering it a group of sell-outs riding out the band's former notoriety to a horrid conclusion. Other/unknown groups in this tier are about 95% hopeless and show no promise for future recognition. If there are any good moments on an album here, from any band, they are so few and far between it is hardly worth listening for.

24-1% (F range, bottom tier) = ABJECT FAILURE, a complete waste of time; not even worth the hard copy''s weight in salt. Nothing here is of any value, whatsoever! A great band would never find one of their albums here; if they did, the notion that they were ever great is not only debatable, it is most certainly a foregone conclusion. Other bands'' albums found here are the sweaty, tandoori-diarrhea ass hair of a punjabi wrestler! Any album from any band finding its way here is not only devoid of any redeeming quality, it is actually an antagonizing affair that will literally sour one''s mood. Albums with this score are notorious for making otherwise sane, even-keeled people write horribly derisive reviews and come off as total butt-wipes.

0% (Nothingness) = Vortex of eternal damnation. This score is almost never given because the album does exist, for whatever reason, and therefore to render this verdict would be to deny its very existence! There is not even a real life example I could think to offer here, but perhaps at the time of Darkthrone's Goatlord release, 0% would have been an appropriate score because such an abomination like that would be denied its existence in Dt's otherwise stellar discography at the time. Seeing as how its generally accepted that the band now sucks anyway, the score is hardly relevant anymore. Or in other words, an album so bad done by a group so good, that to quantify its atrocity in relation to their normal work, only a 0% is sufficient... also works for those who don't count it as a work worthy of an official release. I also added 0% to compliment the equally ridiculous 100% rating.