Watch out, Arsene

Watch out, Arsene

The new Russian owner of Chelsea football club, Roman Abramovich, is deep in thought over the sale of his 50 per cent stake in Rusal, the aluminium firm. It could net him a cool $3 billion. A Rusal sale is possible as the three-year lock-in period, preventing a disposal, has expired. Rumours, so far unfounded, over the departure of Russian Prime Minister Mikhail Kasyanov - an Abramovich ally - could encourage the oligarch to sell up. If he does jettison Rusal - and speaking as a Blues fan - he could spend some of the money on buying Arsenal, put them out of business and use Highbury as Chelsea's training ground.

Moving tale

Sometimes Cheapside wonders what the state is for. Turning to New Labour, the answer arising is - bog all. What else can explain the decision to offer up to tender a contract to store all Department of Work and Pensions' records? Highly sensitive documents are bound to fall into the hands of private contractors. And, in a turn of events that astonishes unions, along with old favourites Capital, Serco and US group Iron Mountain, removal firm Pickfords is on the list of possible takers.

Tee UC?

Anyone worried the new TUC general secretary will renege on the 'partnership with business' spirit fostered by his predecessor, John Monks, can rest easy. Brendan Barber recently paid a visit to Pittards, the Somerset leather manufacturer, where it was said he displayed serious interest in their latest golfing products. Could Barber be the first TUC leader to beat the bosses at their own game?

Merv's nerve

Is the Bank of England's new governor, Mervyn King, a touch power mad? The Bank's first press conference of the Merv era is due to take place on Wednesday. Under his predecessor's command, this would be the cue for the deputy to take centre stage and chair the proceedings. The deputy, of course, happened to be Merv. This won't be the form now though. Cheapside learns that Merv's number two, hardliner Rachel Lomax, will have to button it. I feel a campaign coming on.

Mexico wave

In the first of a regular series, Cheapside ventures into Meteorological Office territory with_ Cancun Hurricane Watch. In the past few weeks the host city for next month's vital World Trade Organisation talks in Mexico has seen Tropical Wave Carlos, Tropical Storm Claudette (almost a hurricane, causing a red alert in Cancun) and run-of-the-mill torrential rain lasting more than 24 hours and flooding all of Cancun. In such storms, ferries do not operate, the road between the town of Cancun and the hotel zone closes, parks are submerged under a foot of water and the streets flood. It's a sign... it's a sign.

Olden balls

Cheapside last week went up west to buy fetching new swimming trunks for the summer hols. It was an unsettling experience, but we won't go into that. What was striking, though, was that the London clothes stores themselves were empty of people but full of winterwear on what seemed like the hottest week of all time. Worse, at Marks and Spencer there was row upon row of unsold David Beckham endorsed T-shirts and shorts. We hope Goldenballs' commercial magic is not on the wane.

Top Marx

How we laughed last year when Irwin Stelzer, the man who advises Rupert Murdoch on world economic and regulatory affairs, in an article headlined 'Time to end our reliance on Saudi oil', put forward the suggestion that the US could seize Saudi Arabian oil. Now we know where he gets it from. Could Irwin be related to Groucho Marx? US troops in Mecca? It's the way he tells 'em.

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