Santa’s stuck

by Ed Higgins

Santa's stuck

you say? In the chimney of course.

The lard-arsed ol'bastard struggling

soot-faced and yelling like a Salvation

Army bellringer for seasonal attention, 

waking the whole damn sleeping house.

Rudolf shining his nose-red lamp

down the flue at his struggling boss

barely suppressing a snicker

wondering if the old grog-soused fart

just hasn't had too many cookies

and tippled too much candy cane schnapps!