Rick Perry Hosting Prayer Party for Govs

Maybe-presidential candidate Rick Perry doesn't just have a spirit animal—he is a spirit animal. That's why he's hosting a "solemn gathering of prayer and fasting" for America's governors in August. Inspirational video inside!

Officially titled "The Response, a Call to Prayer for a Nation in Crisis," Perry's Pray-n-Fast will take place in Houston and be "a non-denominational, apolitical Christian prayer meeting" featuring both governors and alt-governors ("Christian political leaders"). Paying for the festivities is the American Family Association, whose leaders hate green dragons, gays and their gay Home Depots, and Indian tribes, among other people and things. Because of the AFA's family value-style generosity, nobody will have to pay anything to deprive themselves of food with the popular party host.

If everything goes according to plan, and no fights break out, attendees will "rise up and make a sound that will be heard in heaven." And then hopefully Jesus will come and take away all the "depression, addiction, fear" and other evils that have suddenly popped up in America, after more than two perfect centuries. This video sheds light on how much America has deteriorated after two years of godless socialism:

Look at how sad everybody is! Hopefully Rick Perry can make everything better.