Finally, a Chance to Listen to Other Ladies Act Dumb About Sports

Tee hee hee. Isn't it adorable when women don't know about sports? One Canadian broadcasting company certainly thinks so. In fact, they find ladies chattering inanely during the game so adorable that they're broadcasting their ramblings during hockey's Stanley Cup. The name of the feed? While The Men Watch. Is there an emoticon for the sound of a long, drawn out fart? How about a face with barf coming out of its nose?

The idea behind While The Men Watch (giggle giggle!) was launched by Lena and Jules, a duo of Canadian women, both of whom hated hockey but who happened to find themselves married to men who love it (Cathy cartoon!) which is hard, especially when you're into girl things like tampons and throwing bridal and baby showers and not knowing how to step with the opposite foot when you throw a baseball. They write,

As our men were glued to the game, we were on the phone talking to each other about what we saw on the ice in a way that was completely different than what our guys or the real announcers were saying. Why were the players getting a seat and a drink in the penalty box if it's supposed to be a punishment? And how exactly did that coach pick out a brown suit and tie combo four sizes too big?

Fashion! Phone talking! Acting dumb and having it be cute! Fuzzy slippers!

While the Men Watch soon began covering other sports besides hockey and livestreaming their commentary on the internet, and they began covering it when the men were not watching, which means that the name While the Men Watch was technically not exactly true. While the Men Played. In the words of Lena and Jules, they never bothered to learn what was going on during the games because they preferred to spend their time discussing the players' sexiness and the way the equipment looks, like cheerleaders minus cheering and backflips. They also talked about stuff that wasn't sports during the game — like, periods. Prince Charming. Yogurt. Bikini waxes. Dieting! OMG BIKINIS! I'm so fat. You're totally not. You're hot! No, no, you're so much skinnier than I am. You're my best friend.

Why anyone would tune in to listen to the same sort of conversation that you spend hours on a plane fantasizing about no longer having to overhear is anyone's guess, but apparently While the Men Watch has garnered itself quite the following. "Thousands" of men and women now tune in to Jules and Lena livestreaming their brain diarrhea, and even more read their blog about how to act like an asshole who thinks you're totally cute around people who are trying to pay attention to the game. Articles like Sex on Game Day- Does He Love You Up or Lock You Down give women who wait around for their sports fan husbands like domesticated house pets with no interests of their own that aren't dependent on their dudes something to read about and think about while they wait for their mate to pay attention to them. Stereotypes!

Jesus ice-dancing Christ — how are we still stuck on the notion that when it comes to watching sports, women are clueless idiot children? This is insulting to not only women who genuinely care about the game, but to all the female sportscasters who have had to work twice as hard as their male peers to get half as much credit.

I liked this better when it was called Shit Girls Say and it only lasted a minute and a half.