Series: The Q&A

Q&A: Stephen Merchant

'Being 6ft 7in is too tall. 6ft 4in is much better'
Stephen Merchant
'My greatest fear? Boredom. Also, giant crabs.' Photograph: Spencer Murphy/Getty Images

Stephen Merchant, 38, was born in Bristol. After studying film and literature, in 1997 he became Ricky Gervais's assistant at Xfm radio, and they went on to create the award-winning television series The Office. He toured the world with Hello Ladies, a stand-up show about his quest to find love, which he turned into a sitcom, now on Sky Atlantic. He is still single and lives in London.

When were you happiest?
Watching Bruce Springsteen at Glastonbury. During Because The Night I actually shouted, "This is the greatest moment of my life!"

What is your greatest fear?
Boredom. Also, giant crabs.

What is your earliest memory?
On a potty, surrounded by Lego.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Overthinking things.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Property aside, what's the most expensive thing you've bought?
Who are you? The Inland Revenue?

What is your most treasured possession?

What would your super power be?
A total lack of inhibition.

What makes you unhappy?
Ignorant people who think they're right when they're wrong.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I'm too tall. I am 6ft 7in, so I've been most people's height at some point in my life, and 6ft 4in is the best. You're tall, but you don't have to bend when you go through a door.

What is your favourite word?

Men wearing hats every day.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Gromit from Wallace And Gromit.

Is it better to give or to receive?
Depends. Gifts or chlamydia?

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

The Spanish pen friend I never wrote back to when I was 14.

What or who is the love of your life?
Air miles.

Which living person do you most despise, and why?
The teenage girl sat in front of me at the cinema. Stop texting and watch the fucking film.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. Something funny is bound to happen.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Sorry, this doesn't normally happen to me. Let's try again in the morning."

What has been your biggest disappointment?
Failing to get anything in the New Year honours, not even a poxy CBE.

How often do you have sex?
If I had my way, on the hour.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
More air miles.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Making a living doing something I enjoy.

What song would you like played at your funeral?
Is That All There Is? by Peggy Lee.

How would you like to be remembered?
Sir Stephen Merchant, CBE.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Buy a decent bed.

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