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ABC Tweet-a-palooza From TCA

Random sampling of Bastard Machine tweets from TCA press tour

ABC comes in tomorrow with what looks, on first, second and third glance, to be the worst TCA session day in years.

"Smart with heart." That's the ABC brand according to entertainment president Paul Lee. Or, soapy with heart if you want.

We saw a great clip from this week's Modern Family. Again, a show that doesn't need much ink.

There's not a whole lot of meat on ABC's press tour schedule, but then again it doesn't have much coming up at midseason.

I like Paul Lee, ABC's top executive, quite a bit. He comes, initially, from the BBC. But praising Private Practice? Put the Kool-Aid down!

"Our networks have to play and compete 12 months a year. It' not good enough to give up summer. It's not good enough to give up Christmas." - Lee.

"We don't want cookie-cutter television." - Lee. Except for Grey's and Private Practice and...

"There are many dramas that come out fully formed...Comedies, typically it takes time for that group to find itself." - Lee.

By the way, current ABC line-up is not Lee's. Full stamp will come next fall. Partial stamp this midseason.


Lee loves The Middle, and he's right that it was an underdog that's now getting lots of notice.

"It's certainly a risk." - comedies in the 10 p.m. hour. It's a test at this point. If they work, he'll launch another night of comedy.

"I think if you don't take risks, my job becomes less fun and we're less likely to change television." - Lee

I'm going to rebrand The Bastard Machine as "smart with heart." Instead of the current "Don't make me kill you."

Oh, Paul, don't defend Skating With the Stars. No, stop.

"Still fits into the deeply romantic brand of ABC"....The Bachelor. Oh, Paul, no. Come back to the light, brother.

There's a "Winter Wipeout Cocoa Klatch" in the foyer. I kid you not. I hope a bunch of people get knocked down and spill all over themselves

Next up, Pretty Little Liars, a Shonda Rhimes medical drama (!) and Lemonade Mouth from Disney. I'm so going to Pie N' Burger.

We all have our weak spots, our dirty secrets. Mine is laughing at the carnage of Wipeout. It's on a loop here.

ABC Family is talking about "millennials." A lot. Like, every third word. I don't really care about "millennial programming."

I'm getting Lemonade Mouth just listening to this millennial stuff.

I'm not sure we were supposed to laugh at that Pretty Little Liars clip. But we did.

Oh, PLL is about cyber bullying and not taking responsibility for your actions. Now I can TOTALLY relate. Sorry, OWN. Don't kill yourself!

I am so going to cyber bully ABC today.

"How would you compare your own personal style to those of your character?" Actual question. Someone grab that microphone!

If this session goes on much longer, I will giggle like a millennial girl.

There will be 11 people up on stage for the upcoming Off the Map session. Those are always good for narrative flow.

Now taking over/under bets on whether Shonda Rhimes will top Oprah's Filibuster record at TCA. She's got the potential.

Rhimes created Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and now Off the Map. I'm as likely to watch those as Pretty Little Liars or Lemonade Mouth.

Off the Map is Grey's meets Lost - doctors and sex in the jungle. But no Hurley. Nobody on stage is over 3 percent body fat.

"Because it's not." Rhimes less than believable answer to why shouldn't we say this is Grey's Anatomy in the jungle? Oprah record safe.

Rhimes complicated schedule inlcudes this: "On Friday I'm all things ShondaLand." Btw, on Monday's I'm all things CrankyLand.

This just in: Off the Map cast is hot. I know there was some doubt out there.

Caroline Dhavernas from the awesome Wonderfalls gets asked, "Where have you been?" I'm sure actors love that.

Rhimes is doing ANOTHER series about a "professional fixer." Apparently that fixer wasn't available when making Off the Map.

Why call it Off the Map when you could have called it Crazy Sexy Jungle Medicine? Come on, ABC, think big.

Came "home" to housecleaned room, found first-glance shocking bloody footprints on bath mat. Well played, Fearnet. And yet, not great swag.

There's an Off the Map cocktail party from 5-7. Hopefully all the personal publicists have deleted tweets and advance coverage. Bad buzz.

Fox saves night: Just announced they are having "pre-registration" party from 10-midnight, tonight. Still leaves sad 3 hour booze gap.