America's Most Smartest Model: Episode 9 "I See Dead People..." Recap
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Previously on America's Most Smartest Model: The alliance of Aussie Rachael, Andre, Brett and Pickel crumbled as VJ and Angela won the Edge Challenge and then soared in the runway show.  Pickel's goofiness finally caught up to him and he was purged, ending his love affair with Brett.

The contestants are playing with pickles, in memory of their fallen comrade.  Brett Novek is sad to see his BFF go home, but he's consoled by the awesome boxing robe he made with Jeff Pickel that won them the fashion challenge.  I hope some clothing line decides to market that, because it looks damn comfortable and I'd totally buy one.  They get their Edge Challenge telling them to divide into teams of two, but with an odd number, one person is a team of one.  Brett immediately volunteers, saying Pickel will be his partner in spirit.  Every time Brett talks about Pickel this episode, just add "in bed" to the end of it.
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The other two teams are as usual: the foreign contingent of Andre Birleanu and Aussie Rachael Murphy, then the outsiders with VJ Logan and Angela Hart.  They walk into a garage to see go-karts, tools and all sorts of automotive equipment.  The special guest judge for today is Carter Oosterhouse, better known as the man who took over for Ty Pennington as the hunky male carpenter on Trading Spaces.  Despite living in a house full of models, all Aussie Rachael can focus on is the hotness of Carter.

The task is to build a go-kart with the materials and instructions provided.  The first two teams to finish will get to race, and the winner of that race will win the Edge.  Angela loves it because she's worked on cars since she was a little girl.  Is Angela really an "expert" at every single challenge?  Dissect a fetal pig?  She's done it a million times.  Design an outfit?  She sewed clothes with her mother.  VJ recognizes this as well, saying that if she were in a water drinking contest, she'd claim she used to be a fish.

Before starting, Mary Alice Stephenson wonders if Brett is the one-man team because he misses Pickel.  In bed.  The teams pick colors, and Andre goes straight for red.  Where's Joseph McCarthy when you need him?  Aussie Rachael thinks Andre must know about cars because he's a man, but unfortunately the Soviet is from a family of diplomats, and has thus never done anything for himself.  Brett is only slightly better off, as his only experience is with Legos.  Man, I remember Legos - they were awesome.  Brett wishes Pickel was there with him (in bed) and we get an awesome thought bubble of Pickel giving Brett encouraging words.  Later, imaginary Pickel also implores Brett to work quickly, saying "Don't make me come over there and beat your butt."  In bed.

VJ and Angela finish quickly and get it right.  Despite not knowing what nuts are, Andre's team finishes second.  I guess two heads are better than one.  For the race, each model must do five laps.  Aussie Rachael jumps off to a quick lead.  It proves unsurmountable, and the foreigners win the Edge.  Angela is crying.  The Edge is a 2007 Jaguar XK-R.  They get to drive home in it and check out the brochure, because the Callback Challenge is about being a spokesmodel for said car.

When they get home, the models find a note.  Everyone must pick who they think is not smart or model enough for the competition.  If the person they pick doesn't win the Callback Challenge, they will be on the chopping block.  VJ instantly recognizes how unfair this is because a majority of the remaining models are in an alliance whose main goal is to eliminate him.  They all do a secret ballot, and of course, VJ gets three votes while Andre gets the other two.  Gee, I wonder who voted for who?

While Andre and Aussie Rachael study the brochure by the hot tub, VJ calls up his best friend Jared to get him to find out all the information he can about the car.  I'm typically a fan of VJ's sneakiness, but this one seems like outright cheating.  Aussie Rachael, with her great accent, calls it a "Jag-you-are" and I'm reminded of a very funny Saturday Night Live sketch with Will Ferrell asking "Do you like luxury?"

The models get a quick rundown of the 2007 Jaguar XK-R features by the executives, and it's a lot of stuff.  The first twist is that they're giving their presentations to an audience.  Twist number two is when the stage begins spinning.  Aussie Rachael goes first, and she talks more about herself than the car.  Andre is flummoxed trying to remember the stats, so he stammers about torque and RPMs and other things someone buying a car doesn't care about.  He uses the fact that he's Russian as an excuse.  In a stroke of genius, he claims he could talk about this car a lot and five minutes won't be enough, though he's clearly struggling to fill time.  That's followed by this gem: "It's not a car.  It's a vehicle."

Brett gives a confident, strong open, but then the car spins and he stalls, stopping the presentation to actually say he's not doing so good.  Then he drops some F-bombs.  VJ is the first model to do the smart thing and step off the rotating circle so the car spins, but he doesn't.  He tells a pretty good story about how sexy and awesome the car is, focusing on selling the idea of a Jaguar rather than the specific details.  He gets a standing ovation from the judges.  Angela uses the rotation to her advantage and thinks of it as a stage where she can do her little turn on the catwalk, so to speak.  She nails it and gets the second standing ovation.

The judges offer their critiques.  Aussie Rachael has trouble working in long dresses.  Andre lacked confidence.  Brett is surprised to learn he cursed in the middle of his presentation.  VJ did a great job speaking to the target demographic, and Ben Stein says he "burned this mother down."  Angela also nailed it, and the executives say either her or VJ would make a great spokesperson for the car.  The judges declare it a tie!  Both VJ and Angela are called back.  Suck it, alliance!

The judges see the models voted VJ to go home, and though the alliance tries to complain about his cheating, the judges don't care.  VJ claims he just "wiped my ass with their face."  When they get home, Mary Alice has sent Angela and VJ a bottle of champagne, and they toast "To the best kind of revenge: success."

America's Most Smartest Model Purge Time!  The three members of the alliance are called down, and Mary Alice says she expected all of them to be in the finale.  Andre claims the car was so beautiful it made him speechless, and the judges love it and wish he said that during the presentation.  They determine Andre is no good at being a spokesmodel, and he is somehow both in agreement with that statement, and offended by it, both at the same time.  Ben is pained, but he eliminates Aussie Rachael.

Brett and Andre breathe a sigh of relief, until Mary Alice tells them there's a second elimination!  Andre has the most experience,but is difficult to get along with.  Brett has a lot of potential, but seems lost without Pickel.  In bed.  Brett is the second person eliminated.  Now he can go be with Pickel.  IN BED!

On the next episode of America's Most Smartest Model: The final three head to Palm Springs for a photo shoot.  VJ is accused of copying Andre, who is wearing the skimpiest male bathing suit known to man.  One more model is sent home before the finale in two weeks.

-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)

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