

So my roommate was this crazy frat boy wannabe. It was fun at first but right around midterms it got old fast. I wanted to study and he wanted to party and this meant loud music and three or four guys hanging right next to me. Well he blew off mid terms and a few weeks later when finals came he begged me to help him understand Calc. I agreed and taught him that whatever letter was in the equation was that number in the alphabet. A was 1, b 2 and so on. He failed calc and and now my room is quiet 'cause his parents made him move back home and go to a local college so they could keep an eye on him.

Alex Smith

Well this is actually my friend's doing but I just can't get over the awesomeness of it. He got back from hunting and took one of his duck carcasses and put it on his roommate's bed as a prank. The roommate didn't like it all and put it in my friend's t-shirt drawer. My friend returned the favor and stuck it in his roommate's sock drawer, a week went by, 2 weeks, finally after 3 weeks the smell in the apartment was so bad only his roommate still slept there with the window open at all times. Finally my friend remembered the duck and asked his roommate if he had found it, answer: what duck? Of course after three weeks there was a nice pile of worms in it. The only question remaining: How could he go 3 weeks without opening his sock drawer???
Essox L.

I was the one who changed your morning shower music into the Psycho soundtrack. Sorry.
Sophie from Munich

It was my final year at uni and I had this flatmate. Things are cool until he lost his job for sexual harassment but rather than tell me this he stole my stuff to sell for rent money, so I was paying twice without knowing. Then our flat was "robbed." My TV, my PS3, my laptop were all gone, however to my surprise none of his stuff was gone – including the keys to his pride and joy his porsche 928. This was odd as it's a well nice car. I took the keys and had a look inside and all my stuff was in there, but rather than call the police I wanted to get even, so knowing a little about cars I changed his spark plugs so the firing order was screwed and made a short so the battery would be flat every time he tried to start it, so know he thinks his car is scrap so I offer to buy it of him for £1200 he says yes thinking its funk, I spend 10 minutes fixing it, enjoyed the sports car for the summer and sold it for £7000 and got all my stuff back new from HIS insurance.
Chris Y. from Brighton Uni

Every time my suitemate is getting laid, he turns up incredibly loud rap music with equally incredible bass. The walls are thin, and he does this during the afternoon (which is when I sleep) thus making the experience doubly traumatic for me. So I asked my girlfriend to come over the night before my suitemate had an organic chem midterm so we could "just chill". I made a playlist of 30 minutes worth of the loudest and most abrasive Russian metal and maxed out the treble on my speaker systems so he would be able to hear every word. My girlfriend helped me move my bed right next to the connecting wall between my suitemate's room and mine, and I asked if she would yell something in German (she grew up in Stuttgart) over and over while we did it. She chose "mein Kase ist Sonntag", which means "My cheese is Sunday". Once we finished, I planned to just keep the music going; but I flicked it off once I heard him sobbing through the walls. He got a D on his Orgo Chem midterm.
K.W. from Cornell

I had a roommate with a terrible habit of jacking off at all hours of the day. Then, at night he would fuck all sorts of trashy girls. Seeing as I stayed up studying late, and then had to listen to this for hours, I decided to fill his "special" lotion bottle with gorilla glue (expensive for that much, but worth it) and I found out that he was allergic to Latex, so I found this powdered latex bottle at a makeup shop and put it all over his underwear. The next day he walked up to me since I was studying to be a doctor, dropped his pants, showed me his dick and asked what was wrong. It was swollen, red, breaking out in acne and blisters, and had a layer of flaky glue on it all over. Needless to say I told him that he shouldn't have meat or wheat, as he was allergic. He went vegetarian and still doesn't eat bread and wheat because I switched out the lotion and stopped putting in the powder when he stopped eating that stuff.
A.R. from Yale

So me and my suitemates wanted to hang out together one time, except there was this one douche who was like I have homework it's more important. We were like "you can finish it later" but being the douche he was he wasted a lot of our time and he still wasn't done. So when he left the room for a bit, I took his laptop and submitted the wrong answers and he couldn't do anymore submissions. When he came back he asked who did it we were just like we don't know. Well on the bright side we can hang out now :) Sucks for you asshole, you can always do homework at night but can't hang out that late. Till this day he doesn't know who did it.
Jimmy K

I hated my roommate last year for a long list of reasons that are not really relevant. I had good reason to lay claim on the room, and I decided to try to get her to move out. First I tried being aggressive and telling her why I wanted her to move out and asking her to do so. Didn't work. So I started being passive aggressive by having sex in the room while she was asleep (I am normally the sort of person that would be horrified to know that I would do that). Still didn't work. Finally, I had sex in the room while she was awake. She still wouldn't move out. I know for a fact that she was aware that I was doing these things. By this time I assumed she must hate me. I went through a long process to find a new room and move out, and when I moved out, she was genuinely sad to see me go. I don't even know what to make of that.
M. D. from EC

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