Thursday, March 31, 2005

UN Security Council will after all appoint a special commission to investigate the murder of Hariri. The Secretary General made it clear that if you have more than a billion dollar, and if you fly in a private jet, and if you meet regularly with Iyad Allawi (puppet prime minister/car bomber/embezzler-in-yemen/former Saddam henchman) in Iraq, and if you invite famous and rich dignatories to your fancy Paris apartment, the security council will hold a special meeting if you are murdered. He added that the UN Security Council will NOT investigate the murder of those nameless and faceless Palestinians (who do not fly in private jet) who are regularly killed by Israeli occupation forces; it will not investigate the death of more than 10,000 civilian Syrians who were killed by the Syrian regime in 1982 because they did not meet regularly with `Allawi; it will not investigate the murder of poor Syrian workers in Lebanon who are being murdered by the "heroes" of the Lebanese right-wing opposition because they did not wave the Lebanese flag (not to be confused with the newsly designed Hummus Flag--see below); it will not investigate the death of poor Jordanians who die in Jordanian mukhabarat torture chambers; and it will certainly not investigate the death of thousands of innocent Iraqis by US occupation forces in Iraq. But if something happens to any of the oil princes of the Gulf, and their associates, the UN Security Council will be dispatched to the scene of the crime. Beware. International Justice now Prevails. I am suffocating. I better go out and get me a bowl of chili from Wendy's. Wait. What if they put human toes in it? Would they do that? And do they make you pay extra for human fingers, or do they come free with any large order?