March 30, 2012 by

Part 1:

Part 2:

These are statements made by rabid movies fans or "fanboys" to discredit the opinions of people who don't like what the movie fan likes. What makes these statements so interesting is they are repeated by so many different and, seemingly, unconnected people...both male and female. The statements are eerily similar; almost cult-like in their frequency of use. In fact, the statements are so similar you would think they came from a book or sacred tome of knowledge.

Keep in mind, we all have different tastes, and we all have "guilty pleasures"...movies that aren't very good or are absolute trash, but we like them anyway.

Cliché #13: High Profile Actors, Producers, and Directors Means It’ll Be Good

This is the argument that somehow the movie having a famous award winning actor/actress, producer, or a successful director behind it automatically means that the movie is good.

It doesn't matter what the concept is...

It doesn't matter how badly you know the movie will deviate from the source material...

It doesn't matter how many people are disappointed after test screenings...

It doesn't matter what film critics and massive amounts of viewers are saying...

...if the actor, actress, or filmmaker is attached to the project, you know it's good and everyone else is just haters.

To be honest, using unknown, but good actors and actresses, and reducing the reliance on CGI, explosions, and epic slow motion could probably save enough of the film's budget to rewrite or polish the script and have a few more test screenings to correct flaws that are likely to sink the project.

Cliché #14: What Do You Expect From a Comic Book Movie?

Another in a long line of pathetic attempts to disregard the opinions of people disappointed with something you liked. A movie doesn’t need a compelling story or interesting characters? Really?

Since when did the fact that the source material was a comic book mean we had to be satisfied with a half-assed movie? So what these people are saying is we shouldn't expect much from the movie if it is based on comic book heroes, superheros, or on a storyline from a comic? It's just a comic book movie is not a valid excuse if it sucks ass.

All a good movie needs is action, famous actors, 3-D, awesome CGI, above average to reasonably attractive chicks, epic slow motion, and explosions? Seriously? Sorry boys and girls, but the things that happen onscreen should happen for a reason that makes sense.

Are these people for real? So I guess all the successful movies based on comics or stories from Marvel, DC and other publishers never happened?

Cliché #15: Why Don’t You Make A Movie?

You’ve got to love the mentality of the people who use this one. So basically what you're saying is a person cannot have a negative opinion of a movie or project unless they have experience in the film industry or they are capable of making a better version themselves?

You don’t have to jump off a skyscraper and hit the ground to know the impact will kill you.

You don’t have to be kicked in the balls to know it hurts.

...and you don’t have to be a filmmaker to recognize a bad movie.

Sorry, friends, but the time and money you spend on a movie entitle you to slam the hell out of it if you think it sucks ass. What sense does it make that only people who write, direct, or produce films can be the only ones to critique them?

If only filmmakers can offer critiques, I guess that disqualifies the film’s supporters too...doesn’t it?

Cliché #16: Watch the Movie and Decide for Yourself.

Believe it or not this is actually good advice...except for a simple caveat: reviews must be mixed among critics and movie viewers for it to make sense as an option, and there's still no guarantee you'll like it.

This argument is used when a highly anticipated movie or project is released, and the majority of film critics and early viewers rate the project lower than used toilet paper. I can buy the argument when a small amount of film critics and viewers may not like a product that the majority of other people like, but when massive amounts of people say a movie or project was ass, crap, doo-doo, maybe they know what they’re talking about.

When you consider the price of a movie, concessions, and any extra people, it ain’t worth taking the chance that the movie stinks. I’ll wait for Netflix or Redbox, thank you very much. Why should anyone take the advice of a few faceless posters from a website comment section who are slavishly devoted to a character, concept, or film franchise over the advice of considerably more people?

When film critic after film critic, blogger after blogger, fan after fan, and viewer after viewer say they wouldn’t disrespect their anus by using the project to wipe after taking a dump, maybe it’s time to listen. Okay...tell you what, if you pay for the movie, I’ll check it out.

Cliché #17: The Personal or Flame Attack.

This is the last ditch desperation attack in a fanboy/girl’s arsenal when they're forced into an intellectual corner and have exhausted every other strategy to convince someone they're right.

Since these individuals are incapable of defeating opponents with their twisted logic and poor arguments, they'll flame their opponents into submission instead.

The attacks include such wonderful gems as...

“you’re an idiot or you’re an idiot for listening to someone else’s opinion”

“You’re probably a overweight loser who needs to get laid”

“Your opinion makes you sound like an old person”

“You liked that movie, but this one is better…that makes you a dumbass”

The soul shattering classic insult "You're a troll"

...and any number of other wonderful phrases.

Let's face facts; we're all fans or fanboys of something. It doesn't become a problem until we refuse to accept that other people don't share our enjoyment of something and we attack them for it. :)

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