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It's a conspiracy
by Neolander on Sun 8th Apr 2012 06:34 UTC
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Okay, you've read the official version, now here is the real deal.

As you all know, Apple hate interpreters. These nasty program are a way out of the "App Store" ecosystem that they cannot control or apply pressure on. As such, as is shown by the large number of infected IP addresses from Cupertino, they deliberately engineered malware targeting the Java runtime environment so as to reduce public faith in it and reduce criticism towards their latest decision to remove it from Mac OS X and making it increasingly harder to get it back as time passes.

It goes further than that, though. Following a secret plot that has been devised by Steve Jobs himself as a last will, Apple is currently examining ways to completely remove web browser functionality from their operating systems, as these represent an unacceptable source of free speech.

The first part of the plan, getting rid of every technology that could put web applications on par with native code (by slowly phasing out plugins and messing up every part of the HTML5 standard that represents a threat as badly as a polar bear raping a baby seal) is now completed. Now, the next step is to slowly inject security flaws in the Webkit codebase and design malware for it, so as to publicly make fun of Google Chrome and simultaneously announce with puppy eyes an increase in "techno-terrorist" attacks targeting the Safari web browsers. Finally, Apple will be able to introduce a "curated, secure, and family-friendly" alternative to the Web, called the iNetwork, which will gradually be the only thing that shows up when you click the Safari icon on an Apple device.

And after that, they will replace the iMac line with giant iPads with maniacal laughters.

(Joking aside, it wouldn't surprise me that Apple would use this as a way to justify their phasing out of Java ^^)

Edited 2012-04-08 06:37 UTC

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