MOTHER LODE: My new fundraising motto -- Just don't do it

Cathy Runyon | By Cathy Runyon | Advance Newspapers
Email the author
on May 03, 2013 at 2:12 PM, updated May 03, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Finally, someone understands me.

Big Brothers, Big Sisters of the Lakeshore matches adult volunteer mentors with children from a five-county area. As you may imagine, that takes money. The organizatioin is attempting to raise $30,000 in 30 days with a non-event. That's right. I am invited not to run in a 30K race. I can just donate instead. The flyer suggests I not run with them at donation levels from $100 on up to whatever.
"We're not running, and we hope you consider not running, too," the flyer says. They suggest I also encourage my friends and family to not attend this imaginary event. Funds can be collected using the motto, "Don't run with me."

What a great idea! Not only do I avoid running, but I don't even have to pay for the privilege. I can enlist the support of friends to support my decision to sit at home and relax.

 You've heard the joke about the guy who thought exercise was healthy, so he paid someone to do it for him.  The $30K imaginary race is the closest thing I've seen to that philosophy in real life. Imagine the possibilities.

Maybe I can collect donations for not washing dishes. Surely there's an organization out there that will put its stamp of approval on letting the plates pile up. I'll tell my friends and neighborrs, "I'm not doing housework for a good cause. Want to donate?"

There's such a long list of things I put off and avoid altogether, I should be magnificent as a fundraiser. Who'll support my efforts to not write letters and make phone calls? Hurry. Sign up for a spot among those who will pay to keep me from raking leaves and washing the car. 

I was first introduced to pledge walk-a-thons when the teenage boy next door asked me to support his participation in a march for a local school for the disabled. "How much does it cost?" I asked. "Anything you want to give," he said, "like a dime a mile, or a dollar." I chipped in for 30 cents. Those were the days of cheap charity.
Later, I became acquainted with runners and the concept of paying to be in an event, even if it wasn't a race and there wasn't any prize. I didn't understand it, and still don't, but I sure appreciate those who get behind a cause and support it with whatever abilities they have. Now, finally, I too can make a difference just by not showing up.

To learn more about Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Lakeshore and how to donate to the imaginary $30K, visit