Just Who Is Teaching Respect?


I grew up in a (very) large Christian homeschooling family where children were expected to be "respectful." Or so I thought. Mainly this meant saying "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" and obeying your parents, and now I'm shaking my head at how shallow this is and everything it misses. A few weeks ago my two youngest brothers, still in elementary school, shamed my mid-twenties next-in-age sister for getting a tattoo. They verbally berated her and heckled here and generally sought to humiliate her. My … [Read more...]

Respecting Every BODY

spinning bucket

Today I was pushing Bobby on the swing at the park. Each time his swing came toward me, I reached forward and tickled him. He responded by smiling and laughing, leaning forward and grinning at me. Each time as he came toward me he became excited, anticipating my tickles. Then something changed. Bobby still laughed when I ticked him as he came toward me, but he did so in a forced, annoyed way, and he leaned away from my touch. He managed to get out an "uh-uh" in the midst of his laughter. And so … [Read more...]

“Don’t Lie to Me, Mommy!”


Sean and I have a bit of a habit of "kidding" each other, and it's something we've carried over to how we interact with the children. To explain what I'm even talking about here, I'm going to have to give an example. "Mommy, are we rich?" Sally asked me recently. "Well, we have plenty to eat and a safe place to live and lots of friends, so I'd say yes, we're rich," I responded. This was not the best answer, maybe, but I wasn't exactly in the position to explain things like global … [Read more...]

When “Respect” Involves “Disgust”


Growing up in a conservative evangelical home, I believed that we were the ones who truly respected women. I believed that our young men---the young men in my homeschooling community---were being raised to treat the women around them, of whatever age, with respect. I was wrong, very, very wrong. A reader recently pointed me to an article on World Net Daily that presents a fictional scenario where an "normal" girl, Jane, is ordered by a judge to leave her public school and be educated in a … [Read more...]