How to Seduce Difficult Women

Director-writer Richard Temtchine on romancing the fairer sex

Richard Temtchine has experience with women. "A long time ago, I was a top hairstylist in New York, probably the Frédéric Fekkai of my day," says the Paris-bred Renaissance man, who eventually turned his attention from follicles to films as the founder of Quadrant Entertainment. "I spent 12 hours a day with women—as a straight man—for about 25 years." There he picked up plenty of material for his forthcoming comedy How to Seduce Difficult Women, which follows French lothario Philippe's efforts to impart his expertise of affaires de coeur to a ragtag group of romantically challenged New York City men. We consulted Temtchine—who gives seminars on the subject—for some pointers on the art of seduction.

Don't call a woman difficult . "I ran into a former client who I remembered was a really difficult woman. And I said I was going to do a film about her. She said, `And what would that be?' I said, `How to seduce difficult women.' And she said, `Me? I'm not difficult.' I said, `So, what are you, easy?' and she said, `Oh no.' And I thought, now this is interesting. Here's a woman who does not want to be labeled difficult...and doesn't want to be labeled easy. So I said there's something there. What is the definition of that woman? And I realized that the word that women are really happy to adopt is complex."

Know what (and who) you want. "What you want wants you. If you want a woman, she'll be yours; but you'll have to work hard at it. You really have to want it. If you ask most people `what do you want?' they don't know. Ninety-five percent of people are doing jobs that they don't really want to do. Ninety-five percent of guys are with women they really don't want to be with or vice versa. If you see a woman you really like, just go tell her and really mean it. This woman I just met recently was beyond beautiful; I mean, one would have to invent a word for her. I went up to her and told her that. And I told her at the same time that I'm totally broke. `I worked on the film for three years; I don't have a penny, so if I can take you out to dinner, we're going to have a sandwich.' And she said `Fine, let's do it.' But I was really taken by her. I think that what most people really lack is inspiration."

The truth is sexy. "Women have an antenna. Bullshit doesn't go through; they recognize it immediately. So just be yourself. Tell the truth right away, for better or for worse."

Don't be in a rush . "In our society today, men want sex right away, and a lot of women don't. They want to take their time to get to know each other. Men are in a rush, and women are not. That's what I call jetlag. The one thing that women appreciate most in a man, whether it's in sex or relationships or just approaching them, is someone who takes his time."

Talk is overrated. "The other night, we had a party for the film. Three guys said to me, `Give us an example of how you seduce a woman who is very beautiful.' So I said nothing, and I turned to [a woman beside me] and I looked at her. And after a while, she saw I was looking at her and then it was intense. I turned to these guys and said I did nothing, I just looked at her. Men don't look enough. The eyes are the reflection of your soul."

Making the first move is the hardest part . "I observed that American men seemed a little fearful of women in general. There was a term thrown at me which I really didn't understand well: approach anxiety. I thought, let's get Frenchmen to teach these guys how not to be fearful. Once guys made the first step, it's okay, so I decided that teaching a class about that first step would be really a good idea if it was done not in a didactic way, but if there was some humanity to it. In the film, the teacher is very tactile with these guys, puts his arm around them; he's very, very engaging, very reassuring."

How to Seduce Difficult Women opens Friday, October 30.

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