what age did YOUR bed sharing baby finally sleep through the night? - Mothering Forums
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Co-sleeping and the Family Bed > what age did YOUR bed sharing baby finally sleep through the night?
gardendweller's Avatar gardendweller 09:28 PM 09-24-2013

my sweet girl is 10 and a half months old.  she wakes to nurse at night at least three or four times, and I am starting to wonder if bed sharing was a mistake, I keep hearing stories of children three and over who still cant sleep through the night!  SO, I am wondering when other breast feeding, bed sharing babies finally slept through the night.....

(I love sleeping with my baby and I am in no hurry to stop, but I would love to know there is a light at the end of the sleep deprivation tunnel!)

Daffodil's Avatar Daffodil 10:15 PM 09-24-2013

Both of mine were nightweaned around the time they turned 2.  DS immediately started sleeping through the night almost every night.  DD slept through the night for the first time ever on her 5th night of no nursing, but she still woke up most nights for a while after that.  By the time she was 2 1/2 she probably slept through the night about half the time and when she didn't she usually just woke once.  She's 10 now and still not a very good sleeper. 

gardendweller's Avatar gardendweller 09:23 PM 09-25-2013

out of curiosity, did they still sleep in bed with you after they night weaned?  I would love it if my little monkey still sleeps with me as a toddler! (but I could live without the night nursing by then!)

Daffodil's Avatar Daffodil 09:40 PM 09-25-2013

Yes, they kept sleeping with me after nightweaning.

katelove's Avatar katelove 04:44 AM 09-26-2013
I night weaned my oldest at 2yrs 3mo. She would still wake up but would settle quickly when I told her it was still night time. After the baby was born she started objecting noisily when I refused to feed her overnight. I started feeding her again just to avoid waking everyone up but that wasn't sustainable for me. The baby and I moved to the spare room. My now 3y4mo sleeps with my husband. From the first night she slept through. She occasionally wakes for a drink of water or has a bad dream but settles easily. She often wakes at 5am but DH tells her it's too early and she usually goes back to sleep til 6am.
Laurucha's Avatar Laurucha 06:28 PM 10-04-2013
I have a 14 month old and I have been wondering the same thing! On a good night, he wakes up 4-5 times, and I don't always fall back asleep easily. Then we have bad nights when he seems to wake every 20 minutes and doesn't settle back down right away. It feels like forever since I've gotten a decent night's sleep and I'd like to know whether the end is in sight!
Chloe'sMama's Avatar Chloe'sMama 06:50 PM 10-04-2013

mine have all woke up lots to nurse until they night weaned (20 months and 22 months).  They slept through the night soon after that, although my 3 year old is not a great sleeper and has lots of night terrors and my 5 year old needs to get up to pee at least 1 time a night.  ds is almost 8 months and wakes 10 or so times a night.  He was down to about 3-4 and is back up at least every hour.  my girls woke up at least 3-4 times a night to nurse until they nightweaned.  

I feel lucky that I had such low expectations for sleep that I am never disappointed when they sleep terrible.  

gardendweller's Avatar gardendweller 09:20 PM 10-05-2013

Laurucha, I hear that!  I just tell myself it cant last forever, and I will never take a good nights sleep for granted again!! (I also have insomnia so its a double whammy!)

Skelly2011's Avatar Skelly2011 10:13 PM 10-05-2013
It's all so individual. My 3 and a half year old daughter is one of those cosleeping kids that STILL doesn't sleep through the night. Her brother is 5 months old, breastfeeds and bedshares, and will maybe (and I mean maybe) wiggle over and nurse for a second in his sleep once or twice during the night. He's been sleeping 12 hour stretches at night since 5 weeks old.

Granted, my kids are at opposite extremes, but I think no matter what you do or how old your child is some kids just have different sleep habits than others.
earthmoma's Avatar earthmoma 08:28 AM 10-06-2013
I felt the same way as you until my lo was about 11.5 months. I then started our nighttime routine as. Feeding & rocking for 7 min then we both lay on the bed and she flops around until she puts herself to sleep. Now she sleeps amazing at night and at 13 months she has lost interest in night nursing. We just started letting her put herself to sleep for naps and so far so good. We have a queen mattress with crib railing around it for naps so I lay in there with her for now. The goal is for her to be alone for naps smile.gif
cyclamen's Avatar cyclamen 09:13 PM 10-06-2013

Around age three when we moved her to her own bed and taught her to fall asleep on her own, without someone laying next to her..

contactmaya's Avatar contactmaya 01:36 PM 10-07-2013

DS1 before 6mths (i cant remember exactly, he's 8, but it was early)

DS2 around 4mths

DD1-still nurses once or twice  before 5am, at 20mths


They were all ebf.

TiredX2's Avatar TiredX2 09:46 AM 10-08-2013
We partially nightweaned DD at 24 months--- so she started going 4-5 hours. She didn't make it through the night without nursing until 3.5.

With DS we did not nightwean. He was 4.5 before he went 5 hours and over 5 before he went the entire night without nursing.

DP and I are poor sleepers, so we weren't surprised. We're more surprised by our new baby who, at 7 weeks, has already gone four hours several times.
LilaLove's Avatar LilaLove 11:17 AM 10-08-2013

Oy! I feel for you all... I slept with my daughter for 8 months and thought it would be forever.  She was still nursing two or three times a night. Within three nights in her own room, she only woke up once around 4 am, nursed and went back to sleep until 6:30. Within a week, she was sleeping through the night. 


I thought we would co-sleep forever.  I still love snuggling with her at sleep times, and miss her sweet sleepy self all the time. But EVERYONE sleeps better now, and that makes EVERYONE happier. It's a personal choice, but I totally stand behind ours.

sjmomma's Avatar sjmomma 11:27 AM 10-08-2013

Mine started sleeping through the night around the time I stopped nursing. It was trying but he's been sleeping through the night almost 2 months now & he's 15 months. I think it also helps that we started with day care recently too so he gets up earlier & stays busy/entertained and keep him on a schedule & instead of 2 little naps he only takes 1 decent one. Hang in there!

aelfie's Avatar aelfie 11:36 AM 10-08-2013

My oldest is 10 1/2 years old...I'm still waiting for him to sleep through the night!


And I'm defining sleeping through the night as saying good night in their own beds in the evening and not having them come into mine before I wake up.


My youngest is 4 1/2 he also still crawls in 99% of the time.


My twin daughters who are 8, sleep in their own beds 99% of the time.


Every kid is different.

hkusam's Avatar hkusam 12:02 PM 10-08-2013
I was TOTALLY wondering about this question! I started night weaning at 12 to my girl we co sleep with. I would just hold her on my chest when she woke up wanting to nurse (which at that point was 2x per night ). It would work well! She cried for less than 30 seconds honestly. At 13 months she is now in her own crib art the foot of our bed, and 80% of the time she sleeps through the night (8pm - 6/7 am).

I had heard that co sleeping babies always want to nurse int the night, and therefore that's the price if you want to co sleep......SO not true! As other Mommas have said here it can work, and if that's what you want keep on co sleeping!
crunchymama731's Avatar crunchymama731 12:55 PM 10-08-2013
My bed sharing EBF son started sleeping in 5 hour stretches at about 5 weeks and has been sleeping more at night since then. He's 11 weeks old. We keep blinds open all day, dim the house at night and try to make sure he's not over tired at bed time (I let him nap as he needs but try to get him to at least cat nap if he has been awake for more than 2 hours). It's not a real "method," and after seeing my nephews and nieces develop, I kinda think some kids just are natural long sleepers and some have a harder time with sleep. I don't feel like I did anything to make him sleep well, he kinda just came that way. I wish I had something better to offer; but I don't think where one sleeps is always a main player. Best of luck!
Rebecca Tonon's Avatar Rebecca Tonon 01:08 PM 10-08-2013

My son was the same way! Things got better for us about 18mos, he starting sleeping in 3-4 hr chunks. Then at 2 he went from getting up at least 2-3 times a night to sleeping thru at least half the time and then up only once or twice otherwise.  He's now 2.5 and since we night weaned a month ago he's been sleeping through the night.  Mostly :)

RunningMom26's Avatar RunningMom26 01:46 PM 10-08-2013
My first started sleeping through the night when I stopped letting him nurse all night. That was at 2.5. (He would nurse from 1-5am, many times with no break.) My second is 19 months and he already sleeps more and never latches longer than a few minutes at a time (at night). He always needs me more when teething or sick. My first has been sleeping in his own bed since around 4 1/2. But if he wakes to use the restroom, he sleeps the rest of the night with us. We love joy.gif bed sharing!
blessedwithboys's Avatar blessedwithboys 01:52 PM 10-08-2013

Both at 24 mos

randihope's Avatar randihope 02:54 PM 10-08-2013

Yes there is a light at then end of the tunnel! My co-sleeping 3 year old was night weaned at 18 months. I used Dr. Jay Gordon's gentle night weaning method and it worked. He does not recommend night weaning until at least 15 months. I made a book for my son and read it to him daily for at least 3 months before and since then he has slept thru the night. Good luck!

flyrabbitfly's Avatar flyrabbitfly 03:32 PM 10-08-2013

My DS is 39 months. And it DEPENDS. Most nights for the last year or so, he only nurses once during the night, and it is fine. IF he is sick, he nurses like a newborn. If there is a mosquito, he nurses pretty often, if there is a new tooth (last one now!) he nurses pretty often. It's toughest when he's sick. We haven't done anything to night wean him, but MOST nights we all sleep fine, and he is gradually slowing down of his own accord.

We sleep with a queen and a double bed pushed together on boxsprings. My husband sleeps on the queen and me and my son on the double. If i have to get up for any reason,  I go back to bed on the queen side, otherwise when I get back in it wakes my son and he nurses, and then he is usually more restless all night and nurses more. I think that those nights I am mostly on the other side he seems to sleep the best.

gardendweller's Avatar gardendweller 04:08 PM 10-08-2013

sounds like the main theme here is that all babies sleep when they are ready (something I already knew, but somehow always need to be reminded of :)  I truly don't mind night nursing as long as I feel rested the next day, and for the most part I do.  I just love co sleeping with my sweet baby so much!  when I started this thread dd had just cut two more teeth so I was pretty darn sleepy!  my mantra as a mommy is "cycles":  bad sleep one week is not too bad when it is followed by good sleep the next :)  thanks for all the great replies!

Alison Day's Avatar Alison Day 06:24 PM 10-08-2013

12 months old & no end in sight. I plan to keep going until she is ready to stop, both with the feeding and the co-sleeping. We rarely have to carry her around crying at night thanks to the ease of nursing in bed, I think those who don't co-sleep & night nurse might be even more frustrated and sleep deprived than we are some nights! LOL

lauren's Avatar lauren 06:48 PM 10-08-2013

All three of mine at about 2 years after we night weaned (gently). They were excited to sleep in their beds, though would occasionally come back to our big bed. 

trinajohamak's Avatar trinajohamak 08:58 PM 10-08-2013

I've been wondering the same thing...my DS is 11 1/2 mos old and still wakes up and wants to basically nurse all night long.  I'm wondering if anyone can give advice on how to night wean?

csbowley's Avatar csbowley 05:23 AM 10-09-2013

Dear Gardendweller, no one can answer this question for you, only your baby. Every child is so different and it depends on so many factors... I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, but I think its better than having a false expectation because of what another child did. My daughter is 6m and breastfeeds once in the middle of the night (most of the time); she goes to sleep around 7pm then wakes for a BF around 11-12, but I'm usually still awake, then again sometime in the middle of the night and the next around 6-7am and then she is wide awake and ready to play. I have a co-sleeper bed, so after breastfeeding her I push her back in "her bed" most of the time, don't know if this helps, but with my son, I felt like we kept each other awake, my slightest movement would wake him and then he would want the breast and this happened alllll night long, I did it for 7 months, then we put him in a crib next to our bed and he slept through the night the first time! Well woke around 4 if I remember correctly, for me that was amazing. I hope to co-sleep longer with my daughter. I never refuse little arms out stretched toward me with big bright eyes begging to be cuddled, never!  Good luck! 

IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar IdentityCrisisMama 06:13 AM 10-09-2013

I don't have very reassuring news for you. Neither of my cosleepers were/are great sleepers. Nightweaning didn't do much for them either. Both of my kids just wake up a lot. I'm sure this has been mentioned (didn't read the whole thread) but I think night waking is pretty natural. It's a matter of them finding ways to get back to sleep without waking up their parents. For some kids (or, perhaps, some kids of some parents?), that takes a long time. What cosleeping did for us is get everyone on pretty similar sleep cycles so, although I am waking up, I am rarely getting woken from a sound sleep. So that's the good news. The bad news is that my 2.5 year old still wakes up a night (she no longer nurses at all for about the past week or so - we night weaned about a year ago thinking it would help and it didn't). My older child did not stop night waking until after that. 


Re: night weaning. I did night wean our toddler. In part because I thought it would help with night waking, which it didn't. But, for us, we had other motivations for night weaning and I'm still glad we did it. It really wasn't hard for a verbal child who is ready. I just told her that we were nursing downstairs before bed and then again in the morning. She kind of magically got it. I think it's a matter of finding a sweet spot when both the mother and child are ready. If it's super hard, I would stop and try again in a few months. But, seriously, if you don't want to stop other than for night waking, I'd reconsider. For my DC the two weren't all that related...and then it takes longer for the child to get back to sleep w/o night nursing. If the motivation is sleep - I think you may end up with less, unfortunately. 

sparklemaman's Avatar sparklemaman 06:36 AM 10-09-2013

I agree with all of the posters who indicated that it completely depends on your child. My DD was always a big nighttime nurser, every 1-1/12 hours (that I was awakened), all night, every night, until I nightweaned at about 2.5 years. She was very verbal at that point and understood when we talked about it for a few weeks before. I did not get any resistance really (I don't think I could have done it if I had!).  I, like several other mamas who have already posted, thought it would help me get more sleep. It sort of did, but not really. DD still woke frequently, perhaps not quite as often, but went back to sleep less easily (as IdentityCrisisMama indicated above). And she continued to nurse in the daytime until almost 3 years old. Ultimately, she continued to cosleep until she was about 4.5 years. She didn't sleep through the night ever until she was 5-6 years, and then only infrequently. She is 10 now and still wakes, typically only 1-2 times a night, to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. When I would tell friends that DD wasn't sleeping through the night at 2 and then 3 and then 4, they were horrified. But her wakings were never anything that could be ignored or changed or "trained" as some people would suggest. She would often wake to use the bathroom but just as frequently had bad dreams or growing pains (where she'd wake with tears streaming down her face). How do you not attend to that?! And with illness. It seemed like there was always one of those variables at play. It never felt manipulative either, again, as some people have suggested to me. She is who she is and she is not a great sleeper. My DH and I are not either. shrug.gif  While I do wish I could have gotten more and better sleep those first few years, and I know how amazingly difficult it was emotionally and physically to work and be a mama with the sleep deprivation, I don't think I would or could have changed it. And yes, it does definitely get better!! It's always a little crazy :dizzy but better. Good luck to you!!

Tags: Sleep , Co Sleeping And The Family Bed , New Mom Guide
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