Studman's Soapbox

Surfing the vacuous void of disabled in the media


Stow, Ohio, USA
December 14
Resident Smart Ass
Self employed

MAY 3, 2010 11:59AM

Fish Sticks and River Monsters-Be careful where you swim!

Rate: 4 Flag



              (Discovery channnel's) River Monsters-Who's eating who?)




With nothing else on TV last night, and not really having much to share with the blogosphere last night, I found myself watching a new show, River Monsters, on Animal Planet.

 Yeesh, that was a mistake!

I don't know if I'll ever go swimming again!! Certainly not in open water of oceans and rivers!

The particular episode that caught my attention last night, featured several varieties of Amazon River catfish, all of which give new meaning to the term "bottom feeder".

Most avid fishermen know that catfish are generally harmless, and tend to feed on the bottoms of lakes and rivers, preferring algae and pond scum at the bottoms of their habitat.

But, that's only the species of catfish that we know. There are several other species of catfish which seem to have abandoned their bottom feeder tendencies, and turned into scavengers, and outright carnivores.

Many, if not most of us have heard the urban myth of The Amazon, that there is a fish there, which is small and narrow, and dart-like. This particular fish, and forgive me for not knowing or having the name or pics, is said to have a tendency to find a human (and presumably other animals) "host", and swim up into their urethra...

 That would be the penis, for those who are in too much shock of pain to remember the anatomical name.

Another fish, and again, I apologize for not having photos or the official name, actually takes large circular vampire type bites out of its victim, and burrows its way up into the body cavity. And when there are numerous counts of these fish going after the same victim, the swarm of fish can literally eat their meal, from the inside, out...leaving nothing but bones and the skin.

 Now, here's the thing...Anyone who watches The Simpsons, knows that the 3-eyed fish episode is widely considered one of the best pieces of satirical comedy in recent history.  But, with the recent oil spill in the gulf, and the complete mystery of how these fish evolve from being what we know them to be in our local habitats, to what they could be with improper environmental conditions...well....


I think I won't be swimming in the Amazon any time soon!

I like fish that I can eat, not fish that're gonna eat me!

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I have a summer house on the Ganges, so we never worry about that stuff.
Hahahaha. I hear you, Studman. I've seen that AP episode and it scared the crap outta me. Catfish have always looked rather sinister to me, even though they are my favorite for eatin'.

Yeesh, the microbes in that river probably take care of any pesky predators!


yeah, catfish are some good eats!...if they're not eating you LOL
That was an hilarious episode. I thought you were talking about those fish that are taking over the Mississippi River and making there way to the Great Lakes. They jump in boats, and eat everything that they see. This also is going to be an economic disaster. They've already found a few, and where there a few, theres eggs, and where theres eggs, well...,

yeah, this is gonna turn into a lesson in biology on Bizarro world I think
Yikes! It's a fish-eat-humans world? I agree with you; keep the fish on my plate and off my body!

I've done medical leech and maggot therapy, but this is going a bit overboard! :-))
Hmmm, I may never swim in the Amazon again either. rated.

"Again"?? Is there a story there we should know??

dude...ever since watching "Piranha" .... I've been scared!!!

Agreed. They may be great on the plate, but I don't want them using me as a plate! LOL