'True Blood' season 3, episode 5, 'Trouble' recap: We need to talk.

Follow on Twitter
on July 19, 2010 at 1:32 AM, updated July 19, 2010 at 1:42 AM
true-blood-season-3-episode-5-trouble-nelsan-ellis.jpgLafayette (Nelsan Ellis), left, gets a visit at Merlotte's from his mother's orderly, Jesus (Kevin Alejandro).

A bang-up episode of "True Blood", mostly due to the entertaining ravings of one Franklin Mott, who brings a tied-up Tara to Russell's home, gets into a hissing pissing match with royal consort Talbot, gets jealous of Lafayette, shows the extent of his rage issues, and makes a proposition to Tara, and no, we're not talking about the midnight trip to Shoney's.

Franklin and Talbot are interrupted by the return of Russell, Lorena and Bill, evidence of their "dinner" all over their clothes and faces. Tara could not not be more surprised to see Bill. Everyone one else just wants to know what she's doing there. "She wants to be with me," Franklin says. "Hence the restraints," Talbot snips. Franklin and Russell go off to the study while Tara pleads for Bill's help. He refuses. Franklin has brought Russell the dossier he found of Sookie at Bill's home. The conversation switches to Tara: Is Russell going to have to extricate Franklin from another mess, like when Franklin accidentally slaughtered those church ladies at the Biloxi casino? No, Franklin says, Tara is different -- a disaster like him. "The attraction is eeeeeletric." I'm starting to get on board with Franklin. Russell suspects that Sophie-Anne sent Bill to gather intel on Sookie and wants to know why, and he's pleased when Franklin tells him that Sookie's in Jackson.

Lorena is hoping for a little nookie, but Bill closes the door in her face.

Sookie and Alcide made it out of Lou Pine's alive; Alcide almost shifted but was able to stop himself. Sookie wants to talk to Russell, but Alcide won't hear of it. Later, Debbie Pelt shows up at Alcide's apartment and is about to warn him not to tell anybody about the initiation when she spots Sookie and gets jealous. Sookie throws it in her face that she's slept with Cooter, among others, in Alcide's bed, then tells her she's thrown out everything for someone who's half the man -- and half the wolf -- that Alcide is. Sookie reads Debbie's mind and finds out she doesn't know anything about Bill.

Eric shows up at Russell's house, and Talbot couldn't be more pleased with this fine vintage Viking specimen. Eric asks Russell for permission to hunt for Bill in Mississippi. Russell plays dumb, and when Eric tells him that Bill is wanted for selling vampire blood, the jig is up. Bill turns up in the dining room, and Talbot tells Eric that Bill is way too square to deal V. Bill tells him that he's at Russell's of his own accord, and though it kills him to say it, he tells Eric that Soooo-keh is no longer his. Eric lays out his cards -- unless he gives the Magister Bill, Pam will be killed, for good. Turns out Russell is no fan of the Magister, "a nasty little anachronistic toad."

Franklin dresses Tara up in an old-fashioned gown and ties her to the bedposts. First he's reciting endearments, then he's attacking her for getting a text message from Lafayette, suspecting he's her boyfriend. He's her gay cousin, Tara tells him. Phew. Then he makes her watch while he ... text-messages Lafayette back really fast. Disturbing! The next day, Tara gnaws herself out of the ropes and tries to make a break for it, but Cooter, first in Were form, then in naked human form, catches up with her. That night, Franklin is sobbing over Tara's betrayal. A glimmer of cagey Tara returns; she begs him for forgiveness: "It's not you I'm afraid of, it's this place. All the other vampires, they're the ones who scare me." "I'll never let them touch you," Franklin promises.

true-blood-season-3-episode-5-trouble-james-frain.jpgMy, what long fangs Franklin Mott (James Frain) has.

Later, Tara tells him that they need to talk. "Don't say that. When you say that, everything goes black and I wake up surrounded by body parts." Ha! Tara flatters him, but tells him he needs to remember that she's alive and has certain needs, like food. He tells her he's going to take her somewhere special: the Shoney's in Vicksburg. (For you Yankees, Shoney's is the Southern equivalent of a Denny's, with AWESOME biscuits.) Then Franklin proposes ... that Tara be his vampire bride. Duh-duh-duuuuh!

Jason shows up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for his first day of work at the Renard Parish Sheriff's Office. Deputies Kevin and Kenya are not pleased. Acting Sheriff Andy gives Jason a desk job. Montage, including playing limbo with a safety pin daisy chain. This subplot must end. He barely lasts a day, then is sent outside to wash police cars. There he spots the same blonde he saw in Hotshot driving off in a pickup. Shirtless, Jason jumps in a patrol car and makes pursuit. He pulls her over, puts his sunglasses on and asks for her license and registration. There's some flirting, and then he asks her why she was crying the first time he saw her in Hotshot. She won't say, but she tells him her name is Crystal and drives off as Jason tells her he'll be at Merlotte's that night. But it's Andy who shows up, telling him that he just has to take the physical and the written exam to become a deputy. Jason tells him he can't take a written test. Jason spots Crystal outside the bar, and she tells him that she can't be with him, but can't explain why. They go for a walk and they kiss.

Sam moves the ever-lovin' Mickens clan into a new house. Terry drives up, tells Sam he's moving in with Arlene. PTSD Terry is thrilled to tears. Sam gets Joe Lee to be a handyman for Arlene and Terry, but Joe Lee is acting a little twitchy; where's a telepath when you need her? Tommy reports for duty at Merlotte's. He's sharing a cigar with Lafayette when Jesus, his mother's caregiver, shows up. Lafayette shoos Tommy inside and prepares for Jesus to tell him how his mother died. Jesus is mortified that he didn't realize Lafayette would think that; his mother's fine. He just wanted see Lafayette, who immediately jumps to the conclusion that Jesus wants some V. Turns out Jesus just wants a date. Lafayette is adorkable, telling him that he doesn't get off until 11. Jesus comes inside to hang out. Later, they flirt some more. It is very cute.

There's some tension between our resident redheads at Merlotte's. Arlene refuses to look Jessica in the eye for fear of being glamoured, which is actually perfectly reasonable, as Jessica uses her next opportunity to glamour customers into stiffing Arlene. Hoyt shows up at Merlotte's with a date, but he clearly just wants to make Jessica jealous. Jessica is upset, but Tommy comforts her with a little flattery. Joe Lee calls; he wants Tommy home pronto. Tommy asks Sam if he can stay at Sam's that night. Sam wants to know what Joe Lee wants from Tommy. An apoplectic Joe Lee later shows up at Sam's house looking for Tommy. "I own him head to tail," he screams at Sam. "He's got to learn RESPONSIBILI-TAY!"

Alcide and Sookie go to visit Alcide's packmaster, Col. Flood, although Alcide has major misgivings because he's not supposed to reveal himself to a human. Col. Flood says he knows about the V-drinking Weres but there's nothing he can do about it, telling Sookie that Russell is the vampire king of Mississippi, and he's had a coterie of Weres servicing him for centuries. Col. Flood tells Alcide to obey him and drives off, but Sookie hears that he's afraid.

Russell shows Bill the Stackhouse family tree Franklin stole from his house; Bill pleads ignorance, but Russell guesses that Bill is trying to figure out where Sookie's telepathy comes from. Cooter tells Bill later that Russell's mad at Bill, and gives him the news that Sookie is sleeping with Alcide here in Jackson. Bill beats the crap out of Cooter and messes up the vampire bodyguard outside his door and splits.

Eric approaches Russell about the need for speed vis a vis Pam, but Russell waves him off, saying he has business to attend to. Talbot gives Eric a tour of the house, which includes some 16th century Japanese vampire erotica. There is some tactical flirting on Eric's part, until he spots something else in Russell's collection: a Viking tribal crown. Flashback! Eric's father, wearing the selfsame crown, is giving the louche young Viking (do not miss the long hair!) a talking-to about responsibilities, her responsibili-tays. Eric leaves to attend to a certain serving wench, until he hears screams from the main chamber and sees Weres attacking his family. His father warns him just in time for Eric to kill one, but another attacks his father. He sees the Were tattoo as he hears someone call to the Were to bring him the crown. He doesn't see the man, who is hooded and robed but must be Russell, and who tells him not to be a hero. Eric's dying father tells his son to avenge him.

Sookie wakes up to hear Alcide calling her. She leaves her room to find Bill there. They hug, and he tells her that she has to leave Jackson as fast as she can. Bill says there's no hope for him. Just then, Cooter and Russell show up. Cooter attempts to take Sookie, but she does that white hot hand thing that she pulled with Maryann last season, and Cooter goes flying. Russell is overjoyed.