Joke of the day

Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Joke N° 3263
Toughest Golf Shot
A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed like an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it man, you'll never hit her from here!"
Dean F.
Joke N° 3264
Blue 1985 VW Golf
Rosy F.
Joke N° 3265
My Son
Four work buddies are out playing a round of golf. On the 11th hole, one guy says, "Guys play on, I've got to go to the bathroom." So the others play on without him and they get to talking about their sons. The first guy says, "I am really proud of my son. He is doing so well, he bought his friend a new car." The second man boasts, "My son is doing so well that he just bought his friend a 24' boat." The third guy says "Well, my son is so well off that he just bought his friend a new house with a pool." Finally, the buddy that went to the bathroom gets back and asks, "What were you guys talking about?" They all reply that they were talking about their sons. The man looks at the ground and shakes his head. The others ask what's wrong. He replies "Well my son is gay. I'm not thrilled with it, but he is doing well. His last three boyfriends bought him a car, a boat and a house."
Joke N° 3266
25 Kids' Books That Didn't Make It
25- You're Different -- And That's Bad 24- The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables 23- Robert: Dad's New Wife 22- Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share 21- The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking 20- Kathy Was So Bad That Her Mom Stopped Loving Her 19- Curious George & The High-Voltage Fence 18- All Cats Go to Hell 17- The Little Sissy That Snitched 16- Why Can't Mr. Fork & Mrs. Electrical Outlet be Friends? 15- That's It, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption 14- Grandpa Gets A Casket 13- 101 Things You Can Do at the Bottom of the Pool 12- The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 11- Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear 10- The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy 9- Strangers Have the Best Candy 8- Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way 7- You Were an Accident 6- Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will 5- Daddy Drinks Because You Cry 4- Your Nightmares Are Real 3- Where Would You Like to be Buried? 2- You've Got Hepatitis B, Charlie Brown 1- Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose
Clayton D.
Joke N° 3267
Me Tarzan
Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. One day, deep in the wild, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while. Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch. In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?" Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels."
Mike Fennessy
Joke N° 3268
Job Interview
John, who was born without ears, needed to hire a new Bank Manager. He set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, John asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply. John did not appreciate his candor and threw him out of the office. The second interview was with a woman, who had been with the bank a long time. She was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said, "you have no ears." John again got upset and tossed her out. The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch. He was a young man who had recently earned his MBA. He was smart, handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman that the first two put together. John was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man, "Do you notice anything different about me?" And much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes. You wear contact lenses." John was shocked and realized this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***in' ears!"
Dave Brown
Joke N° 3269
Blonde Arithmetic
A group of people decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb. For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembley stadium. A guy who's hosting the show randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center. They are standing at the microphone as he asks her: "What's two times two?" "Five", answers the blonde and smiles. The guy shakes his head, but the whole stadium shouts, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then the guy asks her, "What's three times three?" "Eight", answers the blonde proudly. The guy is about to let her return to her seat, but the whole stadium starts to shout again, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" So the guy asks her one more question. "What's four times four?" "Sixteen", answers the blonde shyly. Before the guy expresses his reaction, the whole stadium starts to shout, "Give her one more chance, give her one more chance!"
Leli C.

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