To refuse to hand over my freecycle offers to this girl?

(177 Posts)
GoodTouchBadTouch Mon 29-Jul-13 16:54:34

We have recently moved and I put a load of stuff on freecycle.

I was emailed by a woman who asked for 3 things, and I told her to pick one as I wanted to share them out. She says, OK, she will have the home gym.

She turns up in a very nice car - I assumed she would be a bit poorer to be scouring the giveaways on Freecycle.

She comes in to get the home gym and spots the dining set out in the hallway ready to be re-homed. She asks if its a G-plan, and when I say yes she asks for that too. She hadn't asked for it originally, but I didn't put the name in the Freecycle ad.

Then she says she can give me 20 for it, and I say no, then she says 40 and I say no, so she asks how much do I want for it and her husband can bring the van to pick it up tonight. Im thinking she is likely going to sell it on and tell her that I wanted to help someone in need and she cant have the table or the home gym, she gets a bit stroppy, but leaves.

Then I get an email from the Freecycle group, saying this member is really disappointed and would I reconsider. Im not going to, but just wondered WWYD? Was I totally out of order?

And is this how freecycle is?? A load of freeloaders trying to make some extra cash? Ive offered before, but only stuff that would otherwise be scrapped, this is the only time Ive offered anything with a resale value.

Also had an email from her, saying she will withdraw her complaint if I let her husband collect tonight. Im not really worried that she has my address.

EeTraceyluv Mon 29-Jul-13 17:49:03

I agree with the op - whatever the site was set up for, it should be about helping people. I also get e mails along the lines of 'alrite I'll hav it' and such like. On the other hand I posted asking if anyone had a totally obscure car item for dh's broken car and had three replies from people saying they had one!

NatashaBee Mon 29-Jul-13 17:49:20

So what models of car do you consider acceptable for Freecycle collectors to drive? I'd make sure you list them on your offer post next time smile

In all seriousness, though, it is annoying when dealers grab anything and everything on there to sell on and you get a pile of replies saying 'i'll have it pls call me on xxxxxx'. Personally I don't care who takes the item, and am just happy to have the item out of my house, so I usually give to the first person who asks vaguely politely and tells me when they can collect. If they want to sell

silverten Mon 29-Jul-13 17:50:21

I think if you were that picky about who got the goodies then you should have made it clear how people were supposed to meet your requirements. Perhaps you could have specified acceptable car makes or clothing brands or something.

Freecycle is basically about matching up people who don't want their stuff with the people who do, so that it stays out if landfill.

The whole issue of selling stuff on is a bit of a red herring. If the stuff is that good then why isn't the original owner doing the flogging? That's right- it's a complete pain in the arse. So what if that bloke was making money selling things he'd fixed? The people who'd given him the stuff couldn't be bothered to do it. Why shouldn't he have got some return for his time and effort?

At least with freecycle you can generally get someone to pick your stuff up from your house- which is less hassle than dumping it if you organise it right. Yes, there are rude and flaky people on it but these are everywhere...

SirChenjin Mon 29-Jul-13 17:51:01

I used to be on Freecycle but gave up because there were so many people asking for specific things (the 'king sized bed with chocolate leather headboard' was my favourite!) - I didn't ever think of it as anything other than a way to keep things out of landfill.

I would suggest donating stuff to charity if you want to make sure the 'right' people benefit (BHF will come and uplift stuff, and then send you a lovely email to let you know how much the item went for and how much giftaid they were able to claim), or sell it on Gumtree (my new favourite place) and donate the money you make to charity.

liquidstate Mon 29-Jul-13 17:51:23

I freecycle regularly and the I always thought the rules are that you offer to whoever you want. If you want to wait and see who emails then put FOP in the title (Fair offer policy I think) this shows that you wont give to the first person who replies. I always like to give to people who need the items for their own use rather than those that collect and sell on ebay (after covering with Annie Sloan paint so they can charge a packet for it).

I think the lady behaved very badly offering you money and then complaining.

eccentrica Mon 29-Jul-13 17:52:16

yanbu. I've given lots away on freeycle, and received some things too. while it's a great idea, the rudeness of people can get depressing after a while. it's nOt about whether people are rich or poor, it's whether you are giving to someone who really can make good use of it, or someone who wants to make money out of you.

GoofyIsACow Mon 29-Jul-13 17:52:30

Freecycle is horrific, i de-reg'ed after my last ordeal, giving things away is infinitely harder than selling it, people are rude, to be honest in your position, if I had just wanted it out of my sight I would have let her take them i would have seethed inside though but if you weren't that bothered about it going immediately you could have sold them on.

Ponders Mon 29-Jul-13 17:52:59

There's nothing to say you can't offer money for something that hasn't been listed on Freecycle though - which is what happened here

OP said she had listed it, but not as G-Plan. Woman didn't ask for it when it was anonymous - only when she saw it was worth something...

Get over yourself. You put your stuff on Freecycle to get rid of it, that's the point of it.
If you wanted to help someone out , give your stuff to charity.
The aim of Freecycle is to stop stuff going to landfill, not to give you a smug feeling of self satisfaction.

RoxyFox211 Mon 29-Jul-13 17:53:21

Your trying to do a good thing and she's taking the pee. Your property, do what you want with it. If you've already said no she should take that for an answer shock. Sounds like she's not used to not getting own way.

Treagues Mon 29-Jul-13 17:55:13

I wouldn't even think twice about this. Thinking about it positively, she has given you the heads up that you can make some money from what you thought was junk.
Yes Freecycle is full of shitheads with a sense of entitlement. The clever ones play nice so you don't care as much grin

AncientCrone Mon 29-Jul-13 17:55:50

Does it really matter if people sell things? I just FC stuff to get it the hell out of my house. If something is broken and would otherwise be binned, wtf shouldn't someone fix and sell it?

I have never sold anything off FC btw.

The messages here are ridiculous, comments about people not looking poor enough, comments about the cars they drive.
If you're using Freecycle to make yourself feel better about giving stuff away to the unwashed masses then you've missed the point of the community.

starfishmummy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:01:56

Cheeky of her to only ask for the table etc when she saw it was probably worth something. I think I would have told her it was already taken even if it wasn't.
However you had told her she could have the other item so you were unreasonable not letting her have that.

Twirlyhot Mon 29-Jul-13 18:02:35

If you want to give stuff away is a good choice.

maja00 Mon 29-Jul-13 18:04:23

If you didn't want to give her the table, fair enough - but it was unreasonable of you to decide she didn't deserve the home gym.

Freecycle is a way of getting rid of stuff you don't want. It's not supposed to be about enjoying the power of who is poor enough to deserve your old crap!

HesterShaw Mon 29-Jul-13 18:05:12

Thought the point of Freecycle was to recycle items which would otherwise be scrapped. It's not a charity.

HoneyStepMummy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:06:07

It's your stuff so it's your choice what to do with it. But- if all you wanted to do was get rid of it without filling up a landfill then does it really matter who takes it?
The naice way to deal with this would have been so say "I'm so sorry, I already promised it to someone else who's picking it up later. So sorry".
I would also recommend selling any futures items, even for a small profit, if you are going to be upset over dealing with people like this.

I came on to say the same as Ralph, British Heart Foundtion will come and collect.

We gave them some seriously random stuff (knitting machine etc) and they sent us a letter back saying it had raised over £200 from the items we had donated.

Warm and fuzzy feeling complete. smile

TarkaTheOtter Mon 29-Jul-13 18:10:40

Not sure car is a great measure of financial situation anyway. We are a two car household (live very rurally). DH has a brand new, expensive company car. I have a very old hatchback. Guess which car we use to visit the estate agent/collect things from gumtree etc. DH would park his car round the corner when we were getting quotes done on the house.

Madlizzy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:11:00

I'm a co-owner of a freegle group and agree that the aim is to keep stuff out of landfill. it's not about who is poor and needy, although we can be a great help then. our group does not allow constant wanted posts, and if we think that someone may be taking the pee a bit, they go back onto moderation. we dont mind people selling on, as long as they are open and honest about it so the gifter can make their own decision. we discourage first come, first serve, asking people to give it a bit of time so more members can see the post. we also encourage members to report problems with others do we can try and sort things. no money should change hands.

lljkk Mon 29-Jul-13 18:11:34

yanbu to deny her because she was pushy and that's good enough reason to say no.
But otherwise agree Freecycle is about getting rid of stuff quick & avoiding landfill. Not a charity.

I've had such nice grateful receipients for most my Freegle stuff. The only problem is no shows (assume these are carbooters who want everything delivered to them. hmm ).

Madlizzy Mon 29-Jul-13 18:12:37

oh, and not handing over what you had promised would have warranted a complaint.

MissStrawberry Mon 29-Jul-13 18:13:29

She is a bully and black mailing you.

Balaboosta Mon 29-Jul-13 18:14:19

So you still have the home gym sitting in your place and have to spend more time and effort getting rid of it? Yeah, you really played that

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