GE Engineer Crushes Your Childhood Dreams

GE Engineer Matt Gluesenkamp decided that to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the laser, he'd destroy any hope you ever had of lightsabers becoming a reality. Hey, Matt, next time just blow up some balloons or something.

Gluesenkamp spends a good amount of energy explaining the various reasons why lightsabers could never be real. The main hurdle seems to be, well, basically everything. The death blow summary:

It seems quite impossible to create a lightsaber, as seen in the Star Wars films, using existing technologies, materials, and physical laws.

But other than that, we're still on track, right?

Oh, wait, actually: we are. Take that, Matt Gluesenkamp! I look forward to your next project, The Impossibility of Warp Factor 10. [GE via Dvice]