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Nick: Because college is so expensive...
Angie: I'm a stripper.

Everybody hates the Jews! Your mom's in the majority! I'll convert to Indianism!


Winston: The phone?

You my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long.


I'd put it in a bowl and eat your hair.


Jess: Ew, but okay!

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosÃ©.

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