What Women Say & What They Really Mean - Part II

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the dating phase

She says: "Do you really want to go to that restaurant/movie/dinner party?"
What she means: I really don't want to go to.

Why she does this: She doesn't want to go, but she doesn't want to appear stubborn either. She is probably hoping you'll sense her hesitation and come up with an alternate plan that pleases her.

What you should do: If you have your heart set on going to that particular destination, stick to your guns. Otherwise, you might want to switch up in order to please her. Remember this: If you keep her happy, she'll keep you happy.

She says: "You have a knack for dealing with kids. They really seem to respond to you."

What she means: I am contemplating eventually having children with you and am wondering where you stand in that department.

Why she does this: An indirect question is her way of feeling you out without freaking you out.

What you should do: Don't freak out. She is probably thinking very distantly into the future (yes, women do this). If, however, you absolutely positively know that you never want kids, this would be a good time to say it.

She says: "Where is this relationship going?"

What she means: I would like us to graduate to a more serious, exclusive relationship.

Why she does this: She wants you to be the one to suggest exclusivity.

What you should do: This depends on whether or not you actually want exclusivity. If so, suggest it. If not, let her know that you care about her, but are not interested in being exclusive right now.

She says: "I feel so close to you right now. You know me so well."

What she means: I am starting to feel the l-word, but I don't want to be the first to say it.

Why she does this: It's a scary thing to be the first to say "I love you." It's much easier for her to hint and hope that you'll take the plunge first.

What you should do: Do not — under any circumstances — say the l-word if you don't mean it. If you do feel it, then go ahead; otherwise, don't say anything. In the long run, you'll be happy not to get entangled in such a lie.

She says: "I feel like our relationship is stuck in a routine right now."

What she means: I want you to be more romantic and spontaneous, and surprise me more. I need you to pay more attention to my needs.

Why she does this: She doesn't want to hurt your feelings and admit that you are, in part, the cause of the rut.

What you should do: You don't need to change your personality entirely, but it wouldn't kill you to surprise her every once in a while. Call her out of the blue and tell her you're taking her for dinner, go on a spontaneous weekend away, or just surprise her with her favorite chocolates.

What does it mean if she tells you some guy was flirting with her all night, if she asks whether you get along with your mother, and all those strange things she says when you're breaking up...


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