Scarleteen, sex ed for the real world


How many partners for oral, vaginal or anal sex have you had? (only answers from those under 25 years old, please)

25% (1109 votes)
23% (1028 votes)
14% (615 votes)
8% (369 votes)
5% (204 votes)
4% (170 votes)
Five to ten
8% (354 votes)
Ten to fifteen
4% (190 votes)
Fifteen to twenty
2% (108 votes)
Twenty to thirty
2% (76 votes)
More than thirty
6% (257 votes)
Total votes: 4480


I answered this honestly (one

I answered this honestly (one person), unlike the 6% who selected 'more than thirty'. ;P

    I wouldn't normally publish a

    I wouldn't normally publish a comment like this, because what it does is suggest that the range of human sexual experience isn't real, or that only one person's experiences can be real while anothers' cannot be.

    But I did because I wanted to make sure to address this. People under 25 having thirty or more partners is fairly unusual, but that's why we're only seeing around 6% reporting that. However, I'd not at all say that 6% of people having had that many partners for one or more of these kinds of sex suggests people are making anything up. When we look at studies and national data for the number of partners people have had, a figure like that is actually pretty in alignment with other data. In fact, it's having had only one partner by the age of twenty five that's more unusual, but I certainly would not suggest you reporting that for yourself is a fiction because it's unusual.

    So, just like one person can be honest in reporting that, so far, they have only had one partner, so can others be when they report greater numbers. Let's make sure that anywhere we are at Scarleteen we're always keeping in mind that chances are always awfully good that a given person's idea of what's real and common is usually based on themselves and a small peer group and is often inaccurate when it comes to how diverse human sexuality as a whole really is. Cheers!

      You can believe the high numbers

      Maybe college is a lot more boring than it used to be (I don't think so) but by the time I was 25, I had had more than 30 partners if you count "sex without intercourse." Counting only intercourse, my wife was my 25th and last. And I didn't think of myself as any kind of super stud, just aware of the ladies.

        i am polyamorous, an ethical

        i am polyamorous, an ethical slut, and liberated!

          only one..

          i've only had sex with my boyfriend of 7 and a half months because i loveee him!!!!

            Realy oral?

            I would have felt better about answering that if not for having to count oral ...


              I've never had sex and am not ready yet but I have have and given orals so...

                It might help to take a look

                It might help to take a look at this: What's Sex?



                The thing is, oral sex is a kind of sex, just like intercourse is a kind of sex. It may also help to remember that there are people who have whole lives where they never engage in intercourse, but instead in other sexual activities, and telling them they haven't had sex lives because they haven't had one kind of sex, or the kinds of sexual partners where they can even have that kind of sex isn't sound.

                Plus, from a medical/health perspective, oral sex poses some health risks just like intercourse.

                Really, the idea it isn't sex usually comes from one of two places (and sometimes both): from people being heterosexist or from people really wanting oral sex not to "count" as sex, a la, President Clinton. We might also want to factor in there that sometimes people who have never had intercourse have the idea it's way different than other kinds of sex, an idea that, if and when they do engage in intercourse, they usually realize wasn't sound. But either way, it really doesn't serve people to only count one kind of sex as "sex" and to deny everything else is, for a whole mess of reasons.

