dogs and newborns

Do you think only children grow up to be self centered adults?

Posted 11/25/2010

I'm not trying to encourage anyone to have more kids or anything. It really doesn't matter to me. This is nothing but a simple discussion.

I'm just wondering how many of you have spent time with adults who were only children. Do they seem more self centered than adults who grew up with siblings?

Unfortunately, I've noticed this among adult onlies. They seem offended and annoyed when they have to consider other people's wants and feelings. My husband was one of those, though he's slowly growing out of that. He even admitted to me that he got used to being selfish and enjoyed the fact that everything was all his.

Am I the only one noticing this?

Comments (60)

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Posted 11/25/2010

My husband can be like that and he has a brother.

It seems to me that issues like that have more to do with HOW the person was raised and less to do with him/her being an only child. Sure, some only children get indulged by parents more than some children with siblings, but I've met many a child from a family with siblings/step-siblings/divorce who are very spoiled.

In fact the most selfish person I know is my cousin, who is the youngest of 2 with a step-sister. BUT, her parents have been divorced a combined 5 times each one remarried 3 times. She is the master at playing her parents against each other! She is very demanding and actually stopped talking to her siblings because they both had children who were getting more attention from her parents (duh they're grandchildren!!) than she was getting. She even tried to find a lawyer to represent her in a lawsuit against both parents to pay for her new car after she had one repoed in her own name, both parents refused to co-sign for a new car, hence the lawyer. She is 24 years old, btw.

So no, I do not think it is an only child thing. I think if you set boundaries and do not always give ANY child everything they want, the selfishness and entitled attitude can be avoided.


I won't judge you for your family choices as long as I get the same respect. 
Start with the negatives about only children and it's on like Donkey Kong

Posted 11/25/2010

totally agree with Rea..

spoiled is completely attitude driven. I dont think it has anything to do with being an only.. Ive met and are related to some realllllly self centered people who are not onlies.


a family of 3 we are happy to be! One and done!

Posted 11/25/2010
My dad is really selfish, more than anyone I know, and he's the middle child of seven kids! Meanwhile, despite the flaws my DH has, selfishness is not one of them, and he's an only raised by a single mom.
Posted 11/25/2010

I thik that if you are an only and selfish, then it's labeled as because you are an only. If you have siblings and selfish, then you're just a jerk.  Just one of those things, like if a man is ambitious hes assertive, but if a woman is ambitious.....

I think being an only could result in a spoiled child, but I know some very over-indulged kids with siblings as well that are not exactly a picnic to be around.  And some of it I also think is just personality.

Posted 11/25/2010

My dad is the most selfish person I know and he had 3 siblings. My MIL is also the very selfish and she also had 3 siblings.

I have a very good friend, she is an only. Yes, I can see her being selfish sometimes, but not in a mean way. It's usually small things that don't bother me, and otherwise she is the nicest person I know!

I do think it has something to do with personality. Regardless of siblings.


Me - 36; DH - 35; DS - 7

Posted 11/25/2010

Yeah, I know selfish onlies and selfish people with sibs. I think it is just a stereotype and people are likely to recognizes situations that support the stereotypes they hold.


Last edited 11/25/2010

I'm an adult only child and I don't think I'm selfish at all ;)

Just about anyone can be selfish though, its probably an inborn trait more than anything else.  Siblings don't begin to factor.

Posted 11/25/2010


I so agree with the above statement. LOVE IT!

I also know way MORE people who have siblings that are selfish than the onlies I know. Its just a stereo type that won't go away....sigh...

Posted 11/25/2010

FIL is an only child and one of those most hard-working, giving people I know.  He does ALL the work around the house, cooking, cleaning, yard work.  He is an extraordinary and kind man, an absolutely wonderful FIL and grampa.  When his mother was in a nursing home, FIL & MIL drove up every Sunday to visit her 2 hours away; he was a very doting son.  I don't think you can base something like this on anecdotal evidence.  I've known lots of crappy people in my life and most have not been only children Wink

Posted 11/25/2010

Also, there's often the sentiment that only children of older parents are indulged more and can become selfish, esp. if they were a miracle baby due to infertility or something.  FIL's mother was 41 when she had him after trying for 13 years.  And he STILL kicks ass Smile

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