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Army Wife: Not a real "job"?

Comments (443)

Last edited 02/02/2012

So, like my mom used to say, when do two wrongs make a right? Who cares if other military wives play this game. Why bring it here? 

Posted 02/02/2012

I am an Army wife and have been for 16+ years. I have never thought of it as a job...why would I? It ISN'T a job, it is a way of life that sometimes sucks and sometimes rocks, but a job it isn't. Of course, I also never look at other SAHM/SAHD's as having a "job, job" either but a lifestyle. It isn't lessening what they do it just isn't a job. It is a title.

Sometimes though, the title sucks especially after the stupid, never going to happen Lifetime show "Army Wives" and then meeting a few of the whinny, complaining, boo hooing military wives myself, I kind of do not want to be linked with them.



Proud Army Wife of 4 kids ages 10,6,4,and 1

Last edited 02/02/2012


What? I didnt bring anything here, I just said why I didnt think  being a military spouse is a job.

Posted 02/02/2012
Mom2- I hatehatehatehate Army Wives. I've had to deal with a few new spouses who have had a hard time adjusting bc life wasn't like that show. Don't even get me started on the fact that no one even PCSes lol...

 ~ Anne
...and If I don't make it, know that I've loved you all along, just like sunny days that we ignore because we're all dumb and jaded...

Posted 02/02/2012


I was responding to someone that did, and you copied that. Sorry for the confusion. 

Posted 02/02/2012

Lol sorry its late here but I cant fall asleep since Im waiting for someoneCry

Posted 02/02/2012

 The marriages that work best in the military are those where the spouses have the same level of appreciation for what the other does. 

Well, to be fair, the marriages that work the best outside of the military are this way, too. Wink


For me, being married to my husband (AD Army) is extra work. I was volunteered by DH to run the FRG and I spend a lot of time helping new families settle into our post. I've created welcome gifts/packets, assisted with family crisis (I'm also on the care team), meet with the command bi-weekly, and the BN monthly to make sure that I am doing as much as I can to help people. I've put in well over 100 hours in under 6 months, which imo is a lot for a volunteer position. 

See...no. Being married to your husband is not the reason for this extra work. The volunteer positions and your involvement in your community is what makes the extra work.

For instance, many women married to men of my husband's rank and billet "work hard" on military stuff. I don't. I don't care for it. I get involved with the things that interest me or that I feel passionately about, but I don't pay my dues to the spouses' club and I don't take on extra responsibility just "because". It is a choice.



Like I said once we moved into base housing that shit was amplified. We were at a lunch and these women were going on and on about how much they would miss their husbands and one asked me and when I said I was the one deplying it was like I didnt count anymore.


Eh. I think they found it hard to relate to you. They likely get together with one another because they can relate to each other's circumstances and commisserate. They don't know what it is like to be on your side of the fence. 

I have some issues being friendly with the spouses because I served, and I often view things differently because I have seen both sides, and many of them have not. I pick and choose the conversations I get into carefully and pick and choose my friends even more carefully. I don't think those women meant to be rude or mean, I think they just didn't know how to relate.


Nixon, Bitches!

Minister of Punk Rock and Builder of Memes.

I'd go again even though they splattered lube on my designer shoes...

Posted 02/02/2012

My husband is in the Navy and whenever I tell people that Im a "Navy wife" I do not mean thats my job! When Im asked, "so what do you do?", they think I am from that area and are trying to get to know me. So when I use that term Im about to let them know my long story because I definitely dont live a "normal" life lol..Im always moving back and forth due to my husband deploying and what not! We go through a lot..have to pack up and leave all our family and friends and move across the country to live in a new state..having to adjust to your new surroundings sucks and especially whenever your husband is constantly leaving all the time and you dont know a single soul..not trying to whine just trying to make a point. Its more of a title than a job


Proud Navy Wife

Posted 02/02/2012

Dudes need to chill out and stop worrying about what other guys' wives are calling themselves. If it's your wife and it bugs you, take it up with her. If it's someone else's wife, then MYOB, who is it hurting? Sheesh.

And for what it's worth, I think spouses of those who are in service of the greater good have a different life than the rest of us. What quicker or more clear way of conveying it than "military spouse" in whatever variation.
Posted 02/02/2012

I agree that it doesn't fit the definition of a job but if people need to say it, let them say it. It's not something that I do BUT I know a lot of women that need that. It's part of what's keeping them going.

I completely agree with this, which is why I think the FB post is so unnecessary. If someone is sad, and their kids are crying, and their husband is overseas, and it makes it a little easier to think to themselves "this is my job, this is my job, this is my job..." more power to them.

But, if someone comes onto DT and asks me "is being an army wife a job?" I'll answer "no".

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