But you can totally sound like you read the Wall Street Journal if you stick with us! (For talking to Dana Vachon types, natch!) Today we wondered, will LVMH's loss of Heidi Slimane roil global stock exchanges once investors realize how traumatized everyone in New York is about it? No! LVMH stock seems to approve of the Slimane sackery! But his name was so easy to remember! And we still don't get why we're supposed to care about Proenza Perfumedress. At least Hedi 2.0 has an easy to remember name: it looks like Kiss My Ass! Actually, Hedi's departure from Dior was, according to the one person we know who actually knows about this shit, in the works for a loooooong time, so let's get on to more interesting things.

  • Take it from the Journal: skinny jeans are over. [WSJ]
  • What's harder to pronounce than "Ghesquiere"? Hachette Filipacchi, the owner of Elle, whose CEO Jack Kliger claims teenage girls would rather use the internet than read print magazines and informs us Elle Girl is actually still online. [WSJ]
  • If you shop, as we shop, at TJ Maxx, your credit card information stolen from the company by hackers has probably already expired, so if you are, as we are, completely irresponsible you will proabably just forget about it and commence not ever looking at your bill. [WSJ]
  • Nobody knows how the fuck to pay for college. Take it from us: don't go! [WSJ]
  • You will be more Zen if you get organized, closet therapists say. You will also be more Zen if you have money, Suze Orman says. We would be more Zen if we had some Adderall right now, because none of that shit is happening.