Random Unemployed Dude Wins South Carolina Democratic Primary

Some unemployed guy defeated a former legislator in South Carolina's Democratic senate primary. He had no money, no signs and no website. Did he win because of his brilliant policies? Or because his last initial came first in the alphabet?

Tonight, 32 year-old unemployed veteran Alvin Greene won a 16-point victory over his seemingly much more qualified opponent, 64 year-old Vic Rawl, a former judge and legislator. Greene did not fundraise at all, while Rawl had about $186,000 in cash, according to the AP. Greene is such a nobody that the Huffington Post asks at the end of their article: "Do YOU know anything about Alvin Greene? Do you have any photos of him? Email us."

Greene really does seem like some random dude. Here's what he told a reporter for the Columbia Freetimes, when they asked why he was spending so much of his own money to campaign against a popular incumbent, Republican senator Jim DeMint:

Asked if he thought it was a good investment to spend so much of his own money in a two-way Democratic primary to run against a popular Republican with millions in campaign cash, Greene replied: "Rather than just save the $10,000 and just go and buy gasoline with it, just take [it] and just be unemployed for [an] even longer period of time, I mean, that wouldn't make any sense, um, just, um, but, uh, yes, uh … lowering these gas prices … that will create jobs, too. Anything that will lower the gasoline prices. Offshore drilling, the energy package, all that."

Oh, OK! So how did he win? The chairwoman of the South Carolina Democratic party speculated to the AP that "people who didn't know either candidate and voted alphabetically may help explain Greene's win."

Alvin Green: An inspiration to random unemployed dudes everywhere.