I love America as much as the next citizen who was born here and who has never traveled out of its borders. I think like all countries we have our strengths and weaknesses. The one strength I read about all the time is our democracy. Compared to other countries who are ruled by despots, dictators and bad guys (who we feel compelled to go to war against) we are free to vote our leadership in and out of office. Isn’t it grand?

That brings me to a weakness I haven’t read a thing about lately. It’s our democracy. The same freedom we have to hold elections and vote, has gotten completely out of hand. This current presidential election season is nuts. I noticed the problem last go round, when Obama formally announced the opening of his campaign for presidency TWO YEARS before elections. I’m sure other candidates have done the same and I just didn’t pay attention. I don’t think Mitt Romney ever stopped campaigning from his last attempt. It has become his full-time occupation. On his IRS forms where it asks Occupation, he writes Candidate.

Yes, because I live in Iowa the whole situation is magnified for me. Those of you who live in a small area not worthy of visits from every shape of presidential wannna-be, be grateful. You get to watch regular car commercials on tv and listen to crappy music on your radio instead of being bombarded by endless, 24-hour political news cycles where every time a hapless candidate picks their nose it has to be discussed, dissected and his chances for presidency measured against his competitors latest gaffe.

It is so friggin’ tedious and we still have a full year left of it before the next election. I don’t think I have the will left to enjoy my share of democracy. It has been completely sucked out of me. I am so, so over my right to listen to potential presidents each take frantic turns at the lectern trying to convince me they are the smartest, handsomest, and most qualified person to ever run for office . Stop the ride, I want off.

Lest you think I am anti-America or just rambling on and on about my own personal agenda, I have come up with some real world examples to put this situation into context. These vignettes should make your spine tingle with fear and loathing.

1. A young man/woman can repent of their youthful sins and commit themselves to serving the Lord on a mission. They put in their papers, visit the doc, go shopping for missionary socks and wait for their mission call. They get the call, pack and report to Provo, UT. They learn a foreign language in the MTC. They fly around the world, learn how to teach the gospel in another language, become fluent in that culture, learn to love the people and after 18 or 24 months they return home. First thing they see as they exit the plane in their hometown? A billboard for a presidential candidate who is STILL campaigning for the same race he was actively campaigning for BEFORE the kid left on his mission.

2. A person can lose their job (due to these unfortunate economic times), spend 3 months looking for another job in their now defunct career field before slumping into full-time despair. They spend a few months on the couch, watching mindless tv until their cable is shut off due to nonpayment. The home teachers come to visit and help him shake off the funk of despondency by giving him a catalog of courses available at the local community college to start a new career. “Yes! This I shall do.” the person vows and immediately picks a new, rewarding job and signs up to start classes. Here is a short, non-comprehensive list of job training the person can indulge in while utterly unemployed:

Surgical Technologist
Automotive technology
Automated drafting
Licensed Practical Nurse
Preschool Teacher
Emergency Medical Technician
Computer Technician
Medical Coding and Billing Specialist
Fire Management Specialist
Computerized Accounting Specialist

After considering all the many options open only in America, the person takes classes, graduates and begins working their new field. For example: One year intensive training to become a hairdresser then six months on the job training to get decent in the craft. If that hairdresser lived in Iowa, they best be prepared to have a presidential candidate come through the door, looking for a haircut from a real, live working person. All of this happens while the politician is STILL campaigning for the same presidential race.

And my last and I think, best example, of how ridiculously long presidential campaigns are:

3. A man and woman meet at a young adults dance in Utah. They date for 4 months, decided to marry and are engaged for another 4 months. They get married, move into BYU married student housing and get pregnant. The baby is born healthy and strong. Time flies and soon the baby is crawling, cutting teeth and eating table food. All the while, the political candidates are STILL campaigning for the same race.

I’m telling ya. It is C-R-A-Z-Y.

All those in favor of a new three month limit on presidential campaigns, say AYE.