5 Ways to Connect with Your Partner

It doesn't take a stay at a luxury resort to reinvigorate your relationship with your partner. Try these simple ideas to get closer to your loved one.

By Mariel Goodson

By Getty Images

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1. Take it to the guest room.

Bring some newness to your sex life by getting intimate anywhere other than in your bedroom. Like the den. Or the kitchen. "We're turned on by differences, not by the same old, same old," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and coauthor of The Normal Bar: The surprising Secrets of Happy Couples. "Turn the evening into an adventure, even if you're just down the hall."

2. Sleep nude.

According to Schwartz's research, 34% of American women regularly sleep in the nude—and more should. Simply bedding down naked is foreplay in itself, says Schwartz. "When you're lying skin-to-skin, it signals desire, availability, and sensuality."

3. Say thanks.

A study at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill found that couples who kept a daily log of each other's thoughtful acts felt more satisfied and connected. "When you've been with someone a long time, it's easy to feel he doesn't appreciate you," notes Schwartz. Break that resentment-breeding rut—set a cell phone alarm for the same time each day, and tell him three things you're grateful for, however trivial (e.g., "It was sweet of you to get me a glass of water"). We bet he'll happily return the favor.

4. Be each other's tour guide.

Once a month, Susyn Reeve, author of The Inspired Life: Unleashing Your Mind's Capacity for Joy, suggests celebrating a "wish day" and letting your partner devise his ideal 12-hour itinerary (the same way you might on vacation). That could mean a day of Simpsons reruns or something rated NC-17—just go with it. You'll shake things up, and by letting him take charge, you'll be showing him you value his needs. "The point," says Reeve, "is to make each other feel loved and acknowledged."

5. Dine in bed.

"Pretending you're in a luxurious hotel can feel as romantic as actually getting away," says Schwartz. To set the mood, freshen the bedroom with crisp, clean linens and candles. Then order in from your favorite takeout place, and kit out two dinner trays with cloth napkins, place mats, and flowers. You'll get all the romance of room service—without the interruption.

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