Peeples: Live your life, and I'll live mine

From the editor

Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2005

I know everyone has met at least one of these people in their lives - the people who spend their lives putting others down to make themselves feel better. They pick apart every dream, plan or idea you have even remotely considered. They only tell you what is wrong with the ideas you have about your life and never compliment your success or commitment. I am not talking about the person who listens and offers solid advice when truly needed, but of the totally negative, nothing is ever right, the sky is falling persona. I have met several people like this and can assure you that it's obvious these people are not where they wish to be in their own lives.

One example of this behavior is when a person clearly tells you what you do and do not want in your life. How would you know what I want? I personally wish to have three children (two girls and a boy to be exact) one day. I have had someone tell me that, in fact, I do not want three children.

Another experience of mine is when people inquire as to my educational/career plans. I explain what my plans are only to have negative or discouraging words returned. I have had people almost insist that these hopes and dreams are impossible to achieve or that they think I should choose a different profession. I want to attend college, begin what I hope to be a successful career, get married and have children. Is that so mind-boggling?

Many adults want to judge teens and criticize their behavior. I'm not saying who there are not young people who behave improperly or irresponsibly. I see them everyday. However, I also find that adults want to judge a teen for an action they do themselves. For example, I know of an older teen caught drinking and their parent could not believe their child had done this. Yet, the parent will admit they find nothing wrong with social drinking. How can the parent discipline the child for something they do themselves? If the young person grew up watching a parent drink, this person has found this as acceptable. How can the parent be upset with the child? Is it a double-standard?

I'll be the first to tell you, I don't think I'm the smartest or most important person. I'm not going to act like I know everything or act any different around certain people than I do anyone else. I'm just me, if you don't like it, that's life. No one person will be liked by everyone. I have chosen to live my life the way adults stress that young people should. I don't go out and "get in trouble"- no speeding ticket or accident, no drinking or smoking, no becoming pregnant. So far, I don't think I'm doing too bad.

I can see why so many young people have problems. If they were to make a mistake, could they go to their parents for compassion and assistance, without being ridiculed and alienated. The sad answer is probably not.

They often don't even receive the support needed to achieve their dreams, much less help in a time of need. I am one of the lucky ones.

My parents always have pushed me to believe in myself and my dreams. They told me if one dream fails, another will come along, better than the last.

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