Rude for students to grill teacher on absences


Q. My child’s teacher has had a substitute maybe half the time or more since school started. She is very guarded and will not say why this is occurring and has told the children it is rude of them to ask. My child is in the fourth grade, so this seems like a perfectly natural inquiry to me and furthermore the amount of absences is disruptive and upsetting.

My child is not going to have a productive year if her teacher will not attend school as often as her students. We have already directed this concern to the principal but I was wondering your thoughts on the amount of absences. When can a teacher be removed from a classroom for attendance?

A. There are a couple of issues happening here. First, your child did have a perfectly natural question, but it was also somewhat rude to ask. When a teacher comes back from any absence, many kids ask us where we were and what we were doing. This is innocent, for the most part, but we explain that it is not polite to ask and that the information is private. It could also be embarrassing, to be perfectly honest, so we simply move on to the next topic. As children move on in the grades, and usually by the fourth grade, they know it is not polite to ask or to question the teacher in front of the class.

If this teacher is experiencing a health scare or concern for herself or her family, she will need to be absent, and may not want to talk about the details. This would happen with anyone in any job. It is not convenient, nor is it what is best for the students, but it may be something the teacher needs to handle. We have rules with our absences, and our district makes us follow those rules carefully. No one wants a teacher to be out for long stretches. We would not necessarily be removed from our job if we had something terrible happen in a year, but if we exceed a certain number of absences, the class can be turned over to another teacher.

I would approach this as a concerned parent, but do not forget to be concerned for the teacher as well. I think talking to the principal is absolutely the right thing to do. The principal cannot tell you why the teacher is out, but the principal will be able to watch the absences, hold the teacher to the contract, and try to help along the way. The principal is qualified to handle this, so bring the concern there and hope that it all works out best for your child and this teacher.

A. This question is regarding your previous column on the student who was injured being afraid to go back to class. You mentioned the injured child moving to another class; why wouldn’t the classmate who injured him be moved to another class or another school?

A. It is frustrating for us teachers, too, but sometimes issues like this arise. We do not decide the punishment, and we also have to accept what the administration decides. I would have thought the other child would be up for suspension or possible expulsion after that incident, but if it was decided that the aggressor was to stay put in the same classroom, the only other option would be to move the other child to another class.

It didn’t sit well with me either, but I have seen things like that happen before.

Contact the writer at goasktheteacher@yahoo.com.

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