Big interview

Ricardo Vaz Tê: whatever the obstacles, if healthy I'd tear them down

West Ham's much-travelled promotion winner steps out against Manchester United on Saturday after the toughest of journeys
Ricardo Vaz Te
Ricardo Vaz Tê made his first start for Bolton at Manchester United and is likely to face them again in the FA Cup third round. Photograph: Tom Jenkins for the Guardian


His journey almost ended before it began, with a childhood brush with death, when the pyrotechnics were terrifyingly real. Vaz Tê's escape from civil war-torn Guinea-Bissau in west Africa came in 1998 and on a day that stretched like an eternity. "You're seeing bombs dropping and all you're thinking was … I don't know … just get out of here, perhaps?" he says, with a nonchalance that did not exist as he willed the container ship he had boarded to depart the carnage around the small port.

The Portuguese authorities had diverted the vessel from Senegal to rescue its nationals from the former colony and Vaz Tê was one of them, having been born in Lisbon. His parents had divorced and his mother sent him as a baby to live with his father in Guinea-Bissau. On that day, however, it was a scramble for life jackets, and passports were hardly being checked. The ship's captain was commended for bravery.

"I was with my auntie, her sons and my brother," Vaz Tê says. "It wasn't even a proper boat. It was meant to deliver cargo to Senegal so it had all the containers … the oil on the floor. You had no safety. Kids could fall. It was crazy. It probably took a day [to get out] but it seemed like forever. We went to Senegal and from Senegal we took the plane to Portugal. I had many relatives that lost their legs and some died so I'm very grateful that I was on that boat."

Vaz Tê describes himself as an "explosive mix" of cultures and there is a mercurial quality about his style; Manchester United will need to be wary of him in the FA Cup tie at Upton Park on Saturday. His mother's grandfather was Brazilian and he feels he has "the strength of an African, the intelligence of a European and the flair of a South American".



It only made the fall seem harder. After making regular appearances for Bolton in the 2005-06 and 2006-07 seasons, albeit largely as a substitute, he succumbed to serious knee trouble that wiped out virtually all of the following three campaigns and led specialists to write him off. He had five operations – four to the right knee, one to the left; released by Bolton in 2010, he was forced to cast about for an opportunity at lower levels. He calls it a "ghost period" and its capacity to haunt him endures.

"In football, the only respect you ever get is when you play and you're playing well," Vaz Tê says. "If you don't play, you lose your voice, and it is hard to deal with. I came close to putting my boots on the side and saying: 'Never again.' I told my agent that I didn't want to play.

"I had trials in different places, I failed medicals. I went to trials when I knew I wasn't quite there and the players were looking at me, thinking: 'Who is this guy?' It's horrible. They disrespect you, they look down on you. From being high up there to back at that level … I mean, I'd never been down there. It's crazy, suicidal."

Vaz Tê checks a characteristically passionate monologue. "No, I would never take my own life," he continues. "I come from a poor family, a hard-working family so no matter what, I would always fight another day. But what I'm saying is it's very degrading, very humiliating. I lost all my money. I started gambling and going out every night. I needed it because you will never find the same adrenaline anywhere to what you find in football.

"When you go out, people respect you. You go to a restaurant and you are first in the queue, even though you haven't booked. They are little things that become a big thing. No matter where you go, you haven't got a voice. It wasn't a gradual change, it's a massive change, especially when you are told: 'This is it, you'll never play again, find something else to do.' I have people that I look after, people that need me. It just adds up."

Vaz Tê refused to lose sight of the dream. His final-roll-of-the-dice operation in the US brought stability and he moved to Panionios in Greece on a half-season contract in the summer of 2010. Panionios went through two managers, one president and a financial meltdown. "I didn't get paid for four months," Vaz Tê says. He could not stay until the end of his contract.

He played the second half of the season at Hibernian, having signed for six months, after turning down three-year contracts in Poland and Ukraine. "It was very risky, considering my knee," he says. "But I decided to go to Hibs, and literally for no money, because if I wanted to come back to England I had to take that step because the visibility [in Scotland] is much wider."


It is easy to be cynical in modern football but Vaz Tê's comeback seems like a fairytale, particularly as his 24th goal of the season was the 87th-minute winner for West Ham against Blackpool in the Championship play-off. The first 12 had come at Barnsley in what seemed like a military boot-camp to Vaz Tê, such was his treatment by Keith Hill and David Flitcroft, the manager and assistant at the time. Vaz Tê says that he "needs love" but to Hill and Flitcroft the motivational weapon of choice was a very big metaphoric stick.

"Every club in the Championship turned me down for a trial in the summer of 2011 until Barnsley, luckily, offered me one," Vaz Tê says. "I stayed for two weeks and I signed on a free transfer for one year. It was very rigid and maybe they were tougher on me. But I can only look back and thank him [Hill] for it. I knew where I was going and no matter what obstacles were in my way, as long as I was healthy I would tear them down."

Vaz Tê was reunited with Allardyce when the West Ham manager paid £500,000 to take him from Oakwell last January and unlike at Bolton, the goals flowed. In his previous eight seasons, seven of which were at the Reebok, Vaz Tê had scored nine times.

His play-off winner brought overwhelming emotion and he took stock alone in the dressing room rather than celebrate with his team-mates on the Wembley pitch. There was plenty upon which to reflect, not least the sacrifices he had made to have the season he did. "I never went out, I never had a relationship," Vaz Tê says. "It was just training, home. Training, home."


He believes that West Ham should be "talking top 10" in terms of a Premier League finish, and if he refuses to specify his personal goals it is safe to describe them as lofty. Thoughtful and intelligent, Vaz Tê bristles with artistic intensity and conviction.

"Perhaps I wouldn't be where I am now if I didn't have the hard times," he says. "They made me grow up, learn so much and really appreciate what I have. That's why I'm fighting so hard. It's about what you want out of life and what you are prepared to do to make it happen."

Ricardo Vaz Tê and West Ham United support the Bobby Moore Fund for Cancer Research UK

  • I Am The Secret Footballer Small Graphic


Today's best video

Today in pictures