UnNews:New Sony PSPs are hot gynoids

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12 July 2006


This advertisement displays two new PSPs functioning in the popular multiplayer "catfight" mode

Sony drew a lot of attention and controversy today when they released a new product that represents a substantial upgrade from the original PSP. Shunning the small hand-held version of the system, Sony has instead created realistic gynoids which it intends to sell to males between the ages of eighteen and thirty-four, ostensibly for sex, although it is still possible to play playstation games via a strategically located dataport. You can see the action by gazing deeply into the gynoid's eyes, which fuse together and flatten out into a looking screen when in gameplay mode, which is rarely used, since in a somewhat frustrating development, Sony refuses to say where the controls are located. "You have to find them yourself, just as if she were a real woman" is all they will tell anyone who asks.

"This is the end of humanity as we know it, and more importantly, the end of video games" complained Kevin Netters, owner of the world's largest Colecovision (7 stories high). "Video games filled a vibrant niche of teenagers and pathetic single older men who had nothing to do on saturday night except cry and watch Oprah while crying. Now that Sony released hot robotic girls that will let gamers have sex with them in every disgusting way they can imagine or heard their older brother brag about, who would want to play Command & Conquer? Or do anything else, for that matter?"

Mr. Netters confessed, for full disclosure, that he had already brought three of the new PSPs and had never been happier in his entire life.

Requests for comment from Sony as to whether a version for straight women (and possibly gay men) would be coming out was met with a "Meh, we'll get around to it sometime."

Reference: Sony pulls controversial Dutch PSP ad

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