Veronica Mars
The Bitch Is Back

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 21 USERS: A
...And She's Hella Pissed

By the elevator, Parker runs into Veronica and tells her Logan's all hers. Veronica: "Trust me. Not why I'm here." If I'm Logan, this is where I figure jumping off the balcony yields the best odds of survival. Parker disappears. Bye, girl. You went out with a whimper, but you sure came in with a bang. (What?)

Veronica barges in, tells Dick not to go anywhere, and then informs Logan that Piz had five stitches. Logan asks who else could have taped her, but Veronica tells him that it wasn't Piz, and besides, it's none of his business. Logan: "Aren't we trying to be friends?" The individual words in that sentence go off to shower, feeling very dirty that their collective use could be so disingenuous. I have to say, I actually like, story-wise, that Logan beat up Piz. It's consistent -- even though I liked him being more mature earlier in the season, the sex tape is still enough provocation for his loss of control to be consistent. But I think it would have been far more interesting if instead of the emo My Heart Still Pines For You crap from the last few episodes, Logan and Veronica were actually getting along as friends; it would have made the aftermath of the fight a lot more unpredictable. There have been some lazy, clichéd choices in this plotline up to this point. Veronica tells Logan in no uncertain terms that he's out of her life forever, and she shuts the doors to his room.

6. "Two words for you, Clarence Wiedman. Game. On." Was this a smart thing to do? Not by a long shot. Was it a bad-ass thing to do? Oh my GOD, yes.

Veronica then summons Dick, who tells her that from a guy's perspective, her "stock just went up." She calls him a "jackass piñata" (hee) and orders him to get his computer. When he balks, she asks, "Do you not instinctively fear me?" I agree that he should, but you have to make allowances for the left hand of the bell curve. (Ooh, tell me I just didn't find the name for the comedy troupe I have yet to put together.) Anyway, Dick opens himself up in the cyber sense, and he finds that the email came from Chip Diller. Veronica is horrified to note that Dick forwarded the video to his whole address book (and it's titled "Emission To Mars," which HA), but Dick tells her that's de rigeur for him with porn. "When it's good." Hee.

Outside, Weevil is limpingly trying to catch up to Veronica, but she says she's busy. Weevil: "Yeah, that figures." Um, hee. Veronica blanches and stops, asking Weevil to shiv her. He tells her he didn't watch the whole video, and offers to help her in whatever way she needs. She says that she most likely will indeed take him up on that. Veronica and Weevil, teaming up in anger. I hope people still have fallout shelters in Neptune.

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Veronica Mars




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