How to master ‘air sex’

The backdrop for the new movie “Love & Air Sex” is the wild world of “air sex” competitions, a riff on air guitar. What is it air sex, exactly? One person takes to the stage, clothed, and simulates some form of sexual act to a song. Although the movie, which is available on demand Tuesday and in theaters Friday, is really about the relationships of two couples trying to figure out their crap, we were interested in what on earth this air sex phenomenon is all about. The Post caught up with the film’s director, Bryan Poyser, to figure it out.

So you learned about air sex from a competition at Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse. What’s it like?

I guess some lonely Japanese men were doing that in bars, and [Alamo Drafthouse founder] Tim League decided it would be perfect to bring to Austin. It became a sensation, and I was kind of scared of actually witnessing it. [My wife] and I went to one of the competitions for research. It was one of the most hilarious and embarrassing things I’d ever seen. I knew that somebody at some point was going to put it in a movie, because it was just too full of comic potential. I decided I wanted to be the first one.

Did that make you the on set air sex-pert?

I ended up being the de facto one. We wanted to get the real air sex emcee at Alamo, this guy Chris Trew — he’s sort of like the ringleader of the circus, but he was out of the country at that time. So it fell to me, as one of the only people who had actually gone to one of these things, to kind of guide us through what it would be.

So you taught the actors how to do it?

I mean, we worked through it together. I wrote down ideas about what I wanted them to do, describing what the action would be — something like, “Jeff attacks the wall with an invisible chain saw made of his penis.”

Michael Stahl-David and Zach Cregger star in “Love & Air Sex.”Photo: Tribeca Film

Was the air sex choreographed or was it improv?

For each one of the [main] performances, I wrote out a version and worked it out in conjunction with the performer. But there were a couple of them that were a surprise. There’s a character named Hugh G. Rection. His character is this big, dumb, drunken frat boy. [The actor] just thought he was going to be a guy in the background, but then we sort of had to rearrange things, and suddenly he actually had to come up with a performance. It ended up being, to me, one of the most hilarious moments in the movie. He just got up there and pulled his pants down and started doing inappropriate things with a beer bottle. I can actually still hear myself laughing in the final version of the movie.

In real competitions, are the competitors choreographing routines?

The one I went to, that I drew on for what I wrote in the movie, there were a couple of people who definitely had worked something out beforehand. But there were a couple of people who basically just got so drunk and their friends worked on them so much that they were convinced to get up onstage and just do something. Those performances were more embarrassing because they had no idea what they were doing.

In the movie, the competitors have these drag-esque names, such as F - - kasaurus Sex or Insane Clown P - - - y. Do they really do that?

That is part of the deal. You’re supposed to come up onstage with a song that you’re going to perform to and a name. I had a lot of fun coming up with those names.

Any that didn’t make the movie that you’re proud of?

You can’t really hear them because they’re in the background, but there’s a character you see who’s dressed like a bunny, and his name is Donny Darkhole.

Are there world champions in air sex who take it really seriously?

Oh yeah. Chris Trew, the real emcee, it’s his mission to convince people that this is not a game, it’s a sport. He really tries to push that idea that it’s a competition, and that there’s an art to it.

Ashley Bell and Justin Arnold star in “Love & Air Sex.”Photo: Tribeca Films

What has been the air sex community’s reaction to the film?

I don’t know if a whole lot of air sex champs have really seen the movie yet. When we go on tour with the movie starting next week, we’re going to have local air sex champs do demonstrations. I’ve tried to make it clear that the version of air sex in the movie is not exactly the same. Our version is a little more amped up. Maybe it’s not quite as raucous of a scene [in reality] — there’s more horrified and embarrassed laughter than cheering. Some air sex champions may take issue with the liberties, but hopefully not. I tried to present the spirit, not the law, of air sex.

Let’s talk rules. Are you allowed to get naked?

No. There’s very few rules, but the main ones are that: You’re clothed; you’re by yourself; and all orgasms need to be simulated.

Can you get down to your underwear, though?

Yes, and some people do. My opinion is that it should be more about creativity than anything else. So if people have to get down to their underwear, to me, they’re maybe reaching a little.

Any pointers?

You need to be telling a story. It’s not just getting up onstage, humping one way, humping another way, and changing sex positions. You want to tell a story. You have to choose a song carefully that’s going to allow you to have a narrative — from beginning to end. Create a character with your air sex-ing, not just a humping animal.

Give us an example.

When I went for my visit to that first air sex performance, the girl who won was not the prettiest girl who got onstage. It was a girl who did a performance to [Night Ranger’s] “Sister Christian,” and her performance was all about a demure, shy girl who starts out with some light kissing and heavy petting, and then she throws herself with carnal abandon into a sex scenario. She won, not the girl who got on the stage and bounced around like a porn star.

Is your interest piqued? Poyser and his cast are touring the country with an 11-city Air Sex Road Show. In New York, after screenings of the film at Cinema Village on Friday, you can test your skills at the “Air Sex Winter Classic” competition, taking place at Drom (85 Avenue A) at 11 p.m. Click here for other road dates around the country.

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