Ask E. Jean: He's Just Not That Into You

Our relationships expert explains why men are more turned on by a challenge

Gregg Delman

Dear E. Jean: I'm a 28-year-old television news producer in Atlanta, and I met a guy (a creative director at an ad agency) two weeks ago in a bar. We had fantastic chemistry. After dancing half the night, we went back to my place. It all felt so good until he took his shirt off. I ran my hand over his back, and he was covered in large moles! I got seriously turned off, couldn't touch him, couldn't even look at him. I said we were moving "too fast" and asked him to put his shirt back on.

He stayed the night, so basically we made out. I have to admit I was not impressed with the way he kissed. In the morning, I just wanted him out of my bed. Frankly, I was desperate to get him out of my apartment. Okay, he was a lousy kisser and his moles got to me, but my question is: It's been 13 days, so why haven't I heard from him? What went wrong? I thought he liked me! Why hasn't he called?—Crazy, Stupid Crush

Miss Crazy:  Auntie Eeee will lose her faith in womankind if you're sincerely asking why you haven't "heard" from a chappy you couldn't bear to "touch," "look at," kiss, or run your hand over. For future reference, if you want a man to call, tell him: "Don't call me." Men (and women—as you so perfectly prove) are more turned on by a challenge than by an invitation. For more tips about calling (and cocktail coaching), go to

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