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Whoa, Momma!

Sharon Kennedy Wynne, Tracey Henry and Suzannah DiMarzio

Really, we're not a bunch of drunks



Spilled_2 OMG, please don't let this be an omen for the school year.

Boom, a full glass of wine -- red, of course -- spilled on the dinner table last night, spreading like a funky scarlet letter all over my daughter's homework and other school papers. (No, we were not drunk!) And on the freakin' first day of school. Holy crap.

As my poor daughter's face fell, Daddy-dear tried to keep a sense of humor. "Just tell everybody your dad's a wino."

Which she will. Great.

But he's not! We're not! No, really! And that's the problem. It was just a stupid accident, but why do we feel so ashamed? Because the first impression our daughter's new teacher will have of her -- of us -- is homework soaked in red wine. Oh, and the office staff too: Today I returned the "Parent Commitment" letter and all that other first-of-the-year paperwork with huge purple splotches.

"This one is supposed to go on the wall, Mom," my daughter huffed as she used a pink crayon to turn a Rorschach-shaped wine blot into art on her drawing. On the wall in front of the whole class? The whole school? Fabulous. If only crayon could cover our embarrassment.

And what does that Rorschach wine blob say about us? That we can't handle our wine? That we do homework drunk? That we're the parents to party with? Holy crap.

I wrote a note to the teacher, and I told my daughter everything will be fine, but the truth is I have no idea whether her ruined homework will be accepted. And it's not her fault.

What can parents do when their actions make life difficult for their kid at school?

-- Kelly Smith



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