Cruise Control

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Five: Zip It! How Many Times Do You Need To Hear This?

Lee takes his head out of Carolyn's ass, then Bill's shows up. Dan interviews that Lee contributed nothing beyond -- without being asked -- courting favor with Bill and Carolyn and cornering them and making himself look all knowledgeable. Dan, and then Tarek behind him, smelling his hair, bitch at people for being in the shot. Leslie -- oh, right, she was the blonde in the restroom -- mentions her background in broadcast journalism and how excited she was to use her "creativity" and the "attributes [she] got from college." Sadly, there's a cut on "attributes" to Leslie (I think) talking in front of a camera wearing a boobish top. It's not Theresa-obvious, and I could be making shit up, but after the bagel thing earlier, it's interesting. Leslie's funny talking about how by the end of the setups, she was over the idea of helping and was thinking maybe the people not in the three-man frat of Bryce, Tarek, and Dan could have hit some bars or a club or something, and that she had no idea what the point of them being there even was. We see a bit of the commercial, the shipwreck guy being brought on board with seaweed in his hair, a wristwatch being dropped in the trash bin.

Showtime, Synergy. Twenty-three minutes left. Roxanne tells a couple to sit at a table in a dining room and not enjoy themselves, just look "very, very bored" and twiddle their thumbs, and interviews again that they wanted to differentiate the excitement of a NCL cruise with a normal one. To the director: "If you can make it look drab and disgusting, that would be good." Hilarious! Andrea watches, chewing on the inside of her mouth. They start shooting the couple, and Roxanne gets a walkie from Michael and steps away to talk to him. Andrea looks on for three seconds, then wades in, in a very irritating fashion. "Let's do it again, and have a little more fun." Bill -- who HATES Andrea, of course -- wrinkles his face. Roxanne comes back and Andrea advises her of how she's told the couple to do something entirely different, and doesn't really explain herself well. Basically, she's decided, on her own and in the last three seconds, that they don't want to convey that the other cruise is "terrible," just that it's standard. There is no spice in this woman's tofu. I love how she's like, "God forbid we insult the made-up cruise line for the sake of a silly comparison." Roxanne explains to her the more pressing of the two major problems with this, which is that they've...already done a bunch of shots that fall in line with the agreed concept, and are running short on time, so now's not really the best moment to rethink the concept of the commercial. Especially for this one, solitary shot. Roxanne interviews that Andrea is really good at "being bossy and taking over," but is bad at playing "in the sandbox." I would also say her creativity is poor, at best, which means she should not be jumping in with the fine-tuning, because she overthinks and her notes are bad. Bill shakes his head directly at the camera as Andrea continues to attempt to get a thumb in the soup, and is soundly ignored. Andrea finally tells Roxanne they have to wrap it up, because didn't Roxanne know? They're on a deadline!

Andrea interviews something boring and self-righteous, although there's a very endearing moment where the foghorn on another ship blasts and she jumps and takes a second to get it together. She's being very awful, like, "I just hope we're creative enough as a team to put the footage that we did manage to get together into a beautiful commercial...but, if we lose this task because of the footage that we didn't get, it will be Roxanne's fault." Which is not exactly true, because time stops and starts at Andrea's command, but only for Andrea herself. How obnoxious she has become.






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