Men Put Down

Why do men like smart women?
...Opposites attract.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
...Because after 20 seconds they forget what happened!

Why are dumb blonde jokes usually short?
...So men can understand them.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
...To stop the snoring before it starts!

How do men define a
"50/50" relationship?
...We cook - they eat.
We clean - they dirty

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
...Make him wear shoes!

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
..."My wife says..."

Why do women live longer than men?
...Someone has to stick around and clean up after them!

Why is Mr. Potato Head the perfect man?
...He's tan, he's cute, and if he looks at another woman
you can rearrange his face.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot easier for men than for women?
...Because when it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there!

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
...Because none of them will stop to ask for directions.

What did God say after creating man?
...Hmm, I can do better!