Beijing Olympics: Events you might just miss

Handball Not American but European handball: a cross between basketball, five-a-side football and something you might dream up in PE. Silly and wonderfully intricate. Amuse yourself by shouting "handball" every three seconds.

BMX Beijing is an Olympic debut for the BMX - perhaps offering hope of a similar elevation to activities such as roller-blading, micro-scootering and break-dancing. Medals will be awarded for jumps and ramps. And nothing to do with pulling a wheelie while giving one of your mates a backie.

Trampoline Your chance to be the best in the world at bouncing.

Softball Bumped off the roster for London 2012, along with baseball, its more credible cousin. Will presumably be looking to go out in a blaze of glory.

4,000m Team Pursuit The track-cycling event that looks weird, but is skilled and deceptively dangerous. Teams form a nose-to-tail two-wheel daisy-chain around a bowl, alternating the lead by careening off up the side.

50km walk Longest of all the speedwalks, an event that remains an easy target for mockery. Perhaps it's the prancing gait and the hawk-eyed pedantry of the not-raising-your-heel rule.

Flat-water canoeing The Olympics is fascinated by canoeing. Twelve golds are up for grabs just in flat-water canoes. A sport involving paddling. On flat water.

Beach volleyball The same as indoor volleyball, but on sand. Women's beach volleyball retains a leery air, as though it were a distant cousin of mud-wrestling or topless darts.

Synchronised swimming Still the only sport that involves underwater speaker systems, waterproof hair gel, decorated swimsuits and an insistence on maintaining a tortured grin at all times.

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