Chris Rock's UK debut was a crushing disappointment

The American comedian's refusal to tailor his act to a British audience and his reliance on tired gender stereotypes left me pining for Les Dawson

Chris Rock
Rock bottom ... Chris Rock performing live. Photograph: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

All the way to Hammersmith I was trying to think of a good opening sentence for this post. In the trade it's known as "writing the headline before you get to the football ground", and I should have known better. But there was no doubt, the man appearing for seven sold-out nights at the Apollo was a comic genius. I just needed to find the right adjective, up from the top shelf there, to kick it all off. "Astonishing ...", "Awesome ...", "Breathtaking ...". Those would all do.

Here's what I didn't expect to be saying: Last night at the Hammersmith Apollo, Chris Rock was rubbish.

I'm tempted to say that I can't tell you how disappointed I am, but I can - or at least I can try. To my mind, stand up comedy is the noblest of all performing arts, a combustible, exhilarating mixture of rhythm, presence and energy. To me its practitioners seem fearless, I find myself hoping each one of them succeeds. I bet I'm the only person alive to have seen both Bill Hicks (Dominion Theatre, London) and Bernard Manning (North Pier, Blackpool) perform live. I disliked Hicks' horrid misogyny just as much as Manning's horrid racism, but both of them could nail a moment.

Last night Chris Rock was more Martin Lawrence than Lenny Bruce. Sure, he talked about race, about sex, but what his act spoke of was an American cultural imperialism that is as inconsiderate as it is instinctive. Spending 25 minutes talking about the US presidential primaries while onstage in a foreign country is hardly endearing, even less so since I'm willing to bet my VHS copy of Richard Pryor Live On The Sunset Strip that Rock is unable to name the British prime minister. Elsewhere time was devoted to the baseball player Barry Bonds and to a cast member of Grey's Anatomy; US stories transplanted without explanation or reason to an English audience. As it applies here you can imagine America as being the rich oppressor and England the underprivileged minority. How ironic that race and culture should swap places so neatly.

I was hoping for material to equal the rhythmic brilliance of his "black people versus niggers" routine (if you haven't seen it, go here right now) but I was left staring at the stage wondering if this was actually the real Chris Rock. And if it was, then where did all this tired thinking come from? If you're going to do half an hour on the difference between men and women (women want money, men want sex) please say something worth hearing. If you're going to do the timewarp back to the 1970s then please be as funny as Les Dawson.

Brian Logan may have loved it, but last night Chris Rock expected the sharpness of his suit to blind his audience to the dullness of his act. That's the only reason I can think of for one of the smartest mouths in US comedy to cross the ocean and speak like an American idiot.