The list

2013-03-01 16:29:04

We all have The List in our minds: Those hated, maddening quirks and behaviors we witness at our gym.

Who is Gruntman making those growls for? And what's with Ms. Pink Spandex over there? She's got all her gear laid out as if she's about ready to make camp for the night: dumbbell, water bottle, jump rope, towel, backpack. Why should we have to detour around her staging area to get to the military-press machine?

Here are the top 10 most annoying things at the gym:

10. Cell-phone chatting/texting. Is a jetliner at 30,000 feet truly the last safe haven from phone intrusions? Sample conversation: "Not much. Just finishing up here. I work on arms and shoulders on Wednesdays ..." And on and on.

9. Getting testy at rush hour. Dude, you're the one who thought it'd be a good idea to swoop in for a 45-minute workout at 5:30 p.m., so don't take it out on us.

8. Unorthodox exercises. That might be the way they used that machine when you were on the Romanian Olympic wrestling team, but can you observe proper technique?

7. Wearing overly revealing outfits, or leering at my revealing outfit. Some people go to the gym to be ogled, and that's fine. But the floor ain't no catwalk. At the same time, keep your eyes in their sockets.

6. Dropping weights. Occasionally you hear the thunderclap of two 80-pound dumbbells hitting the floor.

5. Bad class etiquette. If you're going to arrive late for a group class, at least set up on the fringes. Don't try to squeeze in right next to someone.

4. Not reracking weights. Removing four 45-pound plates to pick up after someone else is a workout unto itself. You see it on the machines, too: 165 pounds on the rotary chest? Come on. Not only do I have to move the pin down to 80, but you're making me feel bad, too.

3. Body odor. Not to sound like your middle-school P.E. teacher, but wash those togs every day, please.

2. Machine-hogging. Don't sit at the curling machine, bobbing to the hip-hop playing on the sound system, and do an occasional set. Get off the equipment to rest so others can work in.

1. Take your sweat with you! If you took a poll every year, failure to wipe down machines and benches would be the No. 1 worst habit every time, forever.

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