or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › How much physical affection do you have with your older (5-9 yr. old) children?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How much physical affection do you have with your older (5-9 yr. old) children? - Page 2

Poll Results: Are you as physically loving with your older child as you used to be?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 11% (10)
    I am just as physical and cuddly as I was when my child was a toddler, and I only have one child.
  • 39% (34)
    I am just as physical and cuddly as when my child was a toddler, and I have more than one child.
  • 14% (13)
    I am less physical due to my having/had to focus so much physical attention on younger siblings.
  • 34% (30)
    I am less physical; it seems to just have happened naturally as my child got older.
87 Total Votes  
post #21 of 27
My ds is 7 and a real cuddler. He is my only child and we have always been really close. He hasn't expressed any embarrassment yet if I hug him or hold his hand in front of his friends.
post #22 of 27
My five year old is still affectionate in public, even at school. But he stopped liking "kisses" about 5 months ago. Just out of the blue. It broke my heart a little but I respect his wishes and only give him a kiss when he wants one. My 4yo has always been super affectionate and has these wonderful chubby little arms that still reach around my nect so easily. *sigh* Lucky me. Long may it last.
post #23 of 27
I love Mothering . It never fails. When I'm feeling out of sorts in some fashion I can always go to mothering and find just what I'm looking for. I was up all last night with mommy guilt wondering if I'm spending enough "quality" time with my children. I have three, ds is 6, dd#1 is 4 and dd#2 is 22 mo. Ds has recently said he doens't want to be kissed anymore at school when I drop him off but he will give me a hug (this broke my heart, but I respected his choice). This is hard, because we have always been close until recently...well, maybe over the last year. I know that's my fault, because when I would sit with one child, another would come over, but then they would fight over who would sit where on me or next to me, or she's/he's touching me....it got to the point where it was so stressful that I would just leave. (sleep depervation played a big role in that, neither dd #1 or #2 slept at all!!!, and I was a bit on the impatient side). So now I wonder if I'm sitting with them enough, hugging them enough, playing with them enough...I feel like I have less and less in common with my son. I coach him in soccer and work in his class once a week, but I still feel like we are not as close. DH seems to think it just "growing pains", that ds is just spreading his wings... I don't know, but It's nice to see other mom's with the same concerns. I guess we can't keep them babies forever .
post #24 of 27

I read this letter...

...in a magazine yesterday about a mom with an 11 year old daughter. The long and the short is their pet guinea pig died in a horrible way and they took it to the vet. The vet told the daughter and mom that the pet would need to be put down...the daughter was very upset about this and this is what the mom wrote...
Antionette burst into tears, and I rushed to comfort her. Her body was stiff, and she pulled away from me, flinching. My initial reaction was embarrassment. (Did anyone see her do that?) but later, as we dug Freckles grave together, I tried to question her gently about her extreme reaction. Was she upset? Was it the way Freckles died? Why didn't she want me to touch her? Her answer was simplicity itself. "I'm not used to it" WHAT???!!! My only daugher is not used to me touching her?
...the mom sat down and thought about how she had slowly but surely got out of the habit of touching, in nice ways, her daughter. She couldn't remember the last loving physical contact she had.

This letter bought home to me my own upbringing. I can remember the last time my mom hugged me, I was five. I don't want my children to ever have to think about the last time they were lovingly hugged. They are going to be great big fathers themselves and I am still going to be hugging them every chance I can get.
post #25 of 27
Thank you so much for the post Funkeemonky! Perfect timing.
post #26 of 27
My ds will be 6 in July, and I have a dd who is 3. I know I'm not as physically affectionate with ds as I was when he was a baby who was held a lot, but we are still very affectionate. Lots of hug, kisses, and I love yous. I hold his hand in public, and he's always welcome to sit in my lap.
It seems that in my area parents are not as comfortable being very affectionate with their sons. Especially as the boys get older. I try not to be that way.

post #27 of 27
Well, DS1 was an only child for 5 years...Now, he's 8 and constantly on the go, but he gets tons of hugs and kisses and head pats and hair playing from Mom. Since I don't see him for about 1/2 of the week (I have joint custody), I have to get in what I can! He's a love bug, tho!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Childhood Years