“GET A JOB, LOS ANGELES” by Tadeu Bijos

Dude driving, dude driving vast expanses, dude fucking up on the GPS, dude asking for directions, dude getting off on the right off-ramp and hitting the ocean after three blocks. Dude making a smoothie. Dude learning how to eat kale, dude loving to eat kale, Dude working out, Dude getting, not like, jacked, but built. Dude having a cocaine phase, dude wearing sun-glasses, dude wearing sun-glasses inside, dude getting called out on it. Dude wishing it was raining, dude enjoying the weather, dude getting tanner and tanner, dude hitting the waves. Dude joining a band, or maybe modeling. Dude getting a cult following, dude starting a cult. Dude getting instagram famous, dude quitting instagram. Dude having dreams, dude paying a lot of money for hack to interpret dreams, dude interpreting dreams himself, dude getting paid to interpret dreams of others. Dude meditating, dude into crystals, dude levitate, levitate, levitate, dude levitating, dude achieving nirvana, dude kissing another dude, dude dating multiple people at once. Dude falling in love. Dude falling out of love and dating actresses. Dude acting. Dude trying to act, dude trying really hard to act, dude going method, dude booking a commercial. Dude making craft beer, dude visiting San Francisco and considering it, dude thinking about designing an app, dude coming back, dude loving everything about it. Dude having dreams, dude dreaming of death, dude’s dreams dying. Dude forgetting about his dreams; dude’s dreams changing. Dude moving up, dude doing deals, dude shaking hands. Dude doing high-fives, dude doing the shaka, dude doing the hang-loose, dude hanging out, forever.

Tadeu Bijos writes a bunch of stuff, is a crybaby, will do anything for money, tweets @jtbijos.

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