Monday 7 December 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Donald Trump says something awful, presumably

Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump probably said something utterly horrifying today.

The business mogul and bastard said something utterly repugnant about immigrants, Muslims or poor people, or did an impression of a disabled person.

“Yeah, one of those, I guess,” confirmed news anchor Marty Pedalfast.

“It’s not worth checking and I’d rather not spend more time looking at his face than is absolutely necessary, which is zero seconds.

“Just write the vilest thing you can think of that a person might say in the context of political discourse. He can’t sue you for it because odds are he’ll at the very least agree with it.”

Donald Trump has been saying terrible things ever since announcing his bid for the Presidency, which naturally led him to becoming the frontrunner for the Republican nomination.

“I completely agree with what Donald Trump said today,” said lunatic, Simon Williams.

“No idea what he actually said, but he’s exactly like me: he hates everyone that isn’t like me, and I like that in a man.”

“Plus he’s really rich, so I know he’ll be sharing it out. He’s definitely that kind of guy.”

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