Tuesday, September 23, 2014

What makes a wedding ceremony memorable?

I'm having a hard time thinking about what our wedding ceremony will look like.

Upon first thinking about it, I thought it was going to be quite simple!

1. I walk down the aisle
2. The officiant (my brother) says a few words
3. Vows are read
4. Rings are exchanged
5. Kissy kiss
6. Voila! We're married.

15 minutes and I got myself a husband!

But THEN...

The florist wants to know what kind of flowers we want on the gazebo.
The resort wants to know if we want 500 scattered orchids in the aisle or 1,000.
What songs will the Hawaiian Duo be playing?
What song do I walk down the aisle to?
Will there be a special poem reading?
Will there be a song performed mid-ceremony while we all awkwardly stare at them for 4 minutes?

Will there be a sand union ceremony? Only if we can do neon colors like the ones below.

Just kidding. No.

Will there be doves released?

Seriously. That's a thing. And I have no idea what it's supposed to represent.

But, no.

Will there be a conch shell blown after we say, "I do"?

Again, no. Hell, no.

Will we bow to each other's parents like the traditional Koreans do?

Nope. (Oh hey, Brother. You sure did it like a champ, though! ;)

Do we write our own vows or do we say the traditional ones?
In what order will the wedding party be standing?

Good thing I can check that off my list.

And good thing I'm such a talented artist. With evil Asian eyes and a mullet.


Most of these things seem kind of....cheesy to me (no offense if you did any of these things at your own, I'm sure it was lovely!). But, come on now.

Here's what we want:

A memorable ceremony that is short and sweet.
A ceremony that won't bore our guests to tears.
A ceremony that's sentimental, but not cheesy.
A ceremony that doesn't cost a million dollars for 20 minutes of time. (a.k.a, No I don't want the $500 floral arrangement for the gazebo when it'll just die and no one will be looking at it anymore because we'll be at the reception staring at the other floral arrangements you had me purchase).

Soooooo. What does that entail, exactly?

Have you been to a wedding where you've seen them do something unique at a ceremony and it left you thinking, "Hey, that's nice. And not the least bit cheesy. And oh hey, I think my eyes are leaking because this is just so damn beautiful."? Or are all weddings just kind of cheesy, but that's what makes them fun and filled with love and rainbows and butterflies?

As much as I just want it to be short and simple and I just want to marry that beautiful man of mine as quick as I can and then party the night away with all my friends and family, there's a part of me that also wants it to be memorable. And I know, I know, the mere fact that we're getting married makes it special and memorable (to us). But is that enough? Of course it's enough. But will I look back and be like, "Man, I wish we released the doves. The DOVES! WHY???"

Does any of this make sense?

Am I turning into a cray bride who's lost her mind?

I should totally get the doves, shouldn't I?

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  1. you definitely are not a crazy bride! the wedding is most importantly for you and your significant other so however you guys want to do it should be how it's done! just because it's short and sweet doesn't mean that it won't be as meaningful as ceremonies that are over an hour long. I'm sure whatever you guys decide will be great as long as it's what you want :)


    1. Thanks Diana! That's exactly what I was hoping to hear. :)

  2. Ohhh I get you girl!! I personally think simple is best, quick and to the point but allow it to flow romantically at the same time. One thing I've seen done at wedding's that I think is really sweet is a time capsule. You write letters to each other and lock them in a box to open on a later date. A tad bit corny but it's different and pretty cute :)

    1. Okay, that's actually a really cute idea and equally cheesy. Maybe I AM a big ball of cheese?!

  3. You sound almost EXACTLY like me when I was planning my wedding! I actually felt a little conflicted because, really, the ceremony was the more important part of the day, yet it gets the least attention and you want it to go quickly (because yes, people do get bored when they can't drink). I've been to fantastic ceremonies where the couple's friend became an officiant (God bless the Internet) and they basically wrote the ceremony together. So if that's an option for you (you have a friend/relative who's willing and your families won't keel over) I'd recommend it!

    I found an officiant who gave us a whole binder of different options for the ceremony -- we could kind of mix and match, like "this opening speech, these vows, that presentation of the rings" or whatever, and picked our own readings -- so no matter what, know that your ceremony can be whatever you want it to be. Just make sure, at the bare minimum, you include vows of some sort, an exchange of rings, "I pronounce you husband and wife," a kiss, and you're gold.

  4. Alright Mish...You need to go to my blog and read about my bubble wrap wedding...here's where I should throw a link...but I have no idea how. I seriously walked down the aisle on bubble wrap. We exchanged ring pops instead of our rings (side note: ring pops don't fit grown folks fingers) and I had a mascot! Jorge the pinata!

    In the end, all that matters is that you're happy and there is no sense in making yourself stressed and crazy before hand. Yes, YES, I know it's inevitable, but try to not worry. No matter what you choose to do, it will be perfect because in the end, you've got your HUSBAND!

    I planned and married within three months. We were on a tight, tight budget...and a tight tight time line. My hubby's grandmother was coming from Hawaii, for likely the last time. We threw it together, figured it out and had a blast...

    You're gonna do great. It's going to be beautiful!

  5. those are amazing things to do. I will love to try them out or just one

  6. Here's my two cents. Have a quiet ceremony with you, your guy, and immediate family. It will be intimate and special. Then,have a big ass party/reception where you will greet your guests. Several of my friends have done that recently, and I think it's pretty awesome. All that money spent on flowers and decorating the church seems wasted. I mean, it's beautiful and all, but that part only lasts a few minutes. Spend the money on the reception and honeymoon.

  7. I didn't want NO cheesy stuff during our ceremony - and I wanted it to be super fast so we could go party... That said, the music was important to me and the reading was important. I walked down the aisle to "Here Comes the Sun" and as we left they played "I Do" by Colbie Caillet - but no playing during the ceremony itself. As for the reading/vows/ceremony words, I scoured the interwebz for things that represented US - but were also short & sweet ;) I'd be happy to send them to you! One of the most helpful things I received were outlines of my married friends' ceremonies/picture list/music lists etc!

  8. Don't add anything in just for the sake of having "something" memorable. Only incorporate things that make sense and have meaning to you two. THAT is what makes it memorable, not random doves flying out of a box.

  9. You should think about a wine box ceremony. It's not as cheesy as the sand but is still romantic and memorable.

    1. I was going to say this too.. because well its wine!! duh. and sweet :)

  10. I agree with Hopeful Wandering about the box and letters! The most recent wedding I went to, the couple wrote each other a letter, each parent wrote their child a letter, and they were all sealed in a box with a bottle (or two!) of wine during the ceremony. The couple then opens the box when they have their first fight, or on their anniversary, or whatever theme you pick. Each reads the letters wrote to them, then they share the wine and talk about it. Super sappy and sweet, but only adds a couple minutes to the ceremony! I'm sure whatever you guys do though, it will be memorable to you!!

  11. yes! the ceremony is like, 20 minutes tops. spend your $$ on food, booze and good music because that's what will be memorable. I've been to a lot of weddings over the years and I honestly can't remember what the ceremony was like (unless it was super hot, windy, boring in a church, etc.). The reception is, in my opinion, be the memorable part.

  12. I have a feeling this will be me the closer I get to my wedding date. I started looking at venues and got overwhelmed so I stopped.. I have yet to return to doing so ha ha.

  13. We lit a candle for my mom, grandpa and husbands grandpa so they could be in our thoughts since they had passed away. That was the tear jerker part! After out reception, we went to our favorite bars and burrito place! The perks of living in a college town. It was memorable and all of us were still in our wedding attire :)

  14. We didn't have anything extra in our ceremony except for a memorial candle for my hubbys parents that have both passed away. It was a little awkward though because it didnt stay lit :/

    One thing I did add to the wording was something about the engagement ring, which I thought was unique and really beautiful:

    (Officiant holds up engagement ring)

    "The engagement ring is a symbol of a promise and intention. Now today, the intention is realized and the promise is fulfilled. So Groom, would you please place the engagement ring on Bride’s finger over her wedding band, symbolizing that the love that brought you together will protect and sustain you."

    Too bad the officiant totally screwed it up. He held up the ring and then asked me to put it on.....completely skipping the entire explanation above!

    We didn't pick out anything for our ceremony until maybe 2-3 weeks before....you've got plenty of time!

  15. hahaha this was hilarious. just keep it simple! You seriously wont regret it when you're livin the good life and your friends are all in debt ;)


  16. I just got married a week and a half ago and I was on the simplest of simple ceremony sides of the page for the longest time. We still had a very simple ceremony - walk down the aisle, vows, exchange of the rings, say 'i do', but at the very last second, I added in a short reading right before the final kiss and the officiant inserted some words of his own here and there. I think it's important to make the ceremony specific to the two of you and not worry about if others are bored, excited, etc. In the end, no one's gonna remember the ceremony unless you set off fireworks or something equally as ridiculous/expensive! :) Good luck!!

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