20 Simple Ways To Get More Pleasure In Your Life

Sublime and silly ways to remind yourself of all there is to savor

We women are so good at serving others. Putting our family's needs before our own feels like second nature. Day in and day out, we automatically say, "It's my pleasure," as we cook, clean, shop, and care for our partners and kids (or moms and dads) and bosses. But when it comes to claiming pleasure for ourselves, we often feel guilty or selfish. The irony is, the more we meet our own needs, the easier it is for us to help others without resentment or anger, and the healthier we become.  

Here are 20 ways you can begin enjoying all the benefits that pleasure can bring to your life right now. 

Watch a funny movie. This one's easy. Don't try to make the rest of your family—or anyone else—happy with the choice. Pick out a movie that only you want to see. The funniest I ever saw was a Korean film called My Sassy Girl. If you can't find that one, try The Princess Bride or the original versions of Cheaper by the Dozen and The In-Laws. You can lose yourself laughing through old episodes of I Love Lucy and The Three Stooges, too, which will not only make you feel good, it will also help keep your blood vessels healthy, say researchers at the University of Maryland School of Medicine.

Do something you've never done before. Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, reports that doing novel things actually boosts brain levels of dopamine, which increases feelings of pleasure. Try learning a new skill, like rollerblading, horseback riding, or tap dancing. Or just check out a new store—and don't be afraid to try on a Chanel dress, wild earrings, or other stuff you might never buy.

Savor a romance novel. Speaking of novel things, reading books with happy endings is one of life's greatest pleasures, and that happy feeling lingers long after the book is done. I love anything by Eloisa James or Julia Quinn for their historical but passionate and funny stories of love conquering all. (Need ideas? Check out 8 Sexy Books For Your Bedroom.)

Go for a swim. Find a place where you don't mind revealing your beautifully imperfect body and jump in. Dive. Do a cannonball. Float. Or if you're feeling energetic, you can melt away 340 calories by swimming laps for half an hour. 

Write a letter. Get out your good paper and a fancy pen and write a letter to a long-lost friend, family member, or lover. Pour your heart out. You don't even have to send it if you don't want to—in fact, don't if it's an angry missive. The only place to send irate letters is to your local newspaper's editorial page. (An extra benefit: Expressing your feelings—even the angry ones—helps keep your immune system humming.)

Create your own prayer. Make it as personal and specific as you want. Write it down. Say it every night before you go to bed, silently if you like. Every time I take off on a plane, I pray for protection and safe travel, and pledge my service and gratitude. The combination of lifting off and surrendering to the will of the universe gives me a powerful feeling of safety.

Spend an hour alone in your room. Close the door and do whatever you want (except clean). Dream, dress up, or...

Take a snooze break. Don't worry about when you'll wake up. Open the window and breathe in the fresh air. You'll know you've succeeded if there is drool on your face when you're done. Even a 15-minute nap will make you feel more alert and ready to tackle anything, say Japanese researchers at the National Institute of Industrial Health in Kawasaki. (See how to have the best nap ever.)

Sleep in your birthday suit. Go ahead, get naked. Feel the soft sheets against your bare skin and imagine what it felt like to be a baby—safe, cozy, and blissfully unaware of any problems.

Have sex-à deux, or alone. From ancient Roman times to the prudish Victorian era there actually was a name for the illness women got from not having enough sex: hysteria. The honest-to-goodness cure was called medical masturbation, and doctors invented the vibrator to make it easier. Since then, scientists have figured out why it works: An orgasm boosts levels of estrogen, which lifts our moods, and endorphins, which are natural painkillers and depression fighters. So if you have symptoms of crabbiness, overwrought emotions, crying fits, and a high-strung, nervous constitution, follow doctor's orders: Have an orgasm. Repeat if necessary. 

Play with some animals. Yours if you have them, others if you don't. Stop by the local pet rescue home just to visit. It's time well spent: Studies have shown that stroking an animal can counter stress. Play tag, fetch, or just...

Snuggle with your pets, your kids, your partner, your grandkids. Get close and just enjoy the wonderful feeling of warmth and love. You'll all benefit from the contact: Frequent hugs help keep blood pressure low and hearts healthy, report researchers at the University of North Carolina. (Don't have a pet? Here are 7 healthy reasons you should.)

Document a special occasion with photos. Make a story out of it. Only pick pictures of things you really want to remember—the kids' puppet show at your family reunion, or the five-tiered cake at your anniversary party. Imagine your great-great-great-grandkids laughing and crying over the images.

Give yourself a day off for good behavior. Don't wait until you're sick or depressed. Take a day to do whatever you want to do, to reward yourself for all your hard work. Spend all day reading in bed, plant a new garden, or clean out a closet. Play music really loud and sing along.

Eat out solo. Order whatever you want. Enjoy the indulgence and the silence. Savor the food, and the great company. Don't be surprised if it's hard. But the rush of pride you feel when it's over is better than any dessert. 

Develop a craft. Always wanted to learn how to knit? Take up watercolors? Make time to do it. You'll enhance your brainpower by forming new neural connections. 

Give yourself a beauty treatment. Take a relaxing bath and give yourself a nonpolish manicure (push back cuticles, file, and buff), slather an herbal mask on your face, or deep-condition your hair. Or book a day spa appointment for something you've never tried before but have always been curious about—a hot stone massage or a grapeseed body wrap. Skip the stuff aimed at making you look better for others, and focus on what will make you feel your best. You are already beautiful. 

If you have access to a giant trampoline, jump on it. Don't let kids have all the fun. You'll feel like you can fly and won't be able to help but laugh. Don't try any crazy moves, however, just jump! You'll be giving your coordination, balance, and agility a big boost. If there's no trampoline nearby, then...

Dance. Put on some happy music and jump or waltz around. Grab anyone who happens to be nearby or just do it on your own. Put on a polka, some Strauss, Keith Urban, or OutKast—whatever rhythms you love.

Lie on the grass and look up at the clouds. Try to remember what it was like when you were a kid, and see if you can recall what you wanted to be when you grew up. What would your little-kid self think of who you've become? If she would be bummed, think about the kinds of changes you'd have to make in order to make her happy. Then ask yourself, what's stopping you? Don't let fear hold you back. Follow your pleasure.

MORE: 10 Simple Ways To Boost Your Mood

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