It’s Working

A parents of tweens group I lead had been discussing common concerns of middle school moms and dads; juggling the demands of school work and home life and handling the emotional ups and downs of preteens.

The son of one mom was going through a particularly challenging fall as homework and test pressures began to take a toll. He had begun to withdraw from his parents at home, was usually in a negative almost sad state of mind and had became increasingly lethargic about his school work.

His mom began doing everything she could think of to turn things around. She helped with homework, kept in good contact with his teachers, talked to the school guidance counselor and advisor, found fun and physically active things to do during their free time and listened to him as much as she could.

She began a recent meeting by saying, “I’m killing myself to spend time with him.” Another mother quickly cheered, “and it’s working!”

Indeed for the last several weeks the mom had reported significant changes in her son’s mood and responsiveness. He had been talking about things on his mind, finishing more of his homework, and appearing less withdrawn and more engaged.

They had taken a walk in Manhattan to celebrate the holidays and at the end of their day together, he had proclaimed, “This is the best day of my life!” The difficulties were not completely behind them but things were definitely moving in a good direction.

It can take a lot of time and effort to support a child through a challenging phase but I believe that moms and dads can make a world of difference.