Saturday, October 19, 2019

The terrifying epiphany of Local Bargain Jerk...

From his comments in the earlier post, on attending last night's game...

"Giancarlo came to the plate with two runners on, and I turned to the 20-something kid next to me who was there with his dad. I said, "Hmmm, now what do you think Stanton's going to do?" He looked at me and knew what was on my mind and said, "I'm looking for a three-run bomb right here. That would be nice." Then he laughed hysterically, and so did I. I looked over to the WFAN booth to see if I could catch sight of John S. and Suzyn, when my eyes fell on the banner above the media booths. The banner said something about the Yankees being the proud winners of 27 World Series titles.

"I looked back to the plate and watched Stanton strike out. We were sitting along the 3rd base line in the infield, and I noticed that Stanton wears #27. And I had this horrifying insight:

     "We will be stuck at 27 WS victories for as long as #27's contract wears on..."


TheWinWarblist said...

It will be at least that long ...

The Yankees could have already won this series if they had a competent field manager or two more basehits. We are the accursed franchise now. Along with Minnesota. Ouuff! What the fuck did Minnie do to piss off the JuJu firmament?

Fuck the ownership and management and a couple (you know who you are!) of the coaching staff.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Swing for the fences on every pitch.

Then wonder why you don't win the big ones and fewer people want to watch.


Yet ticket prices will still go up next year.

ranger_lp said...

If we didn't pitch Ottavino or Happless, it would have been minimally 3-2 Yanks right now...

13bit said...

13bit said...

“In the Bible, the twenty-seventh book of Proverbs has twenty-seven verses. After Julius Caesar’s assassination, the Roman Empire was established in 27 BC. The planet Uranus has 27 moons, and elephants have 27 pairs of chromosomes.”

HoraceClarke66 said...

Interesting to see those TV stats, Ottavino. Attendance down as well, in such a terrific year.

I'm guessing it's three things:

—The length of games is out of hand, especially in the playoffs.

—Baseball itself has been made intolerably boring and one-dimensional by these analytical lunkheads.

—Yankees fans have seen this too often. Most of us don't really believe we can win in the end.

TheWinWarblist said...

I want Jennifer in charge.

13bit said...

Exactly, Winnie. Jennifer is like the Lion King or whatever the fuck - the true baseball heir to King George. They have effectively sidelined her, written her out of history, but SHE is the one who could lead us out of the wilderness. Sadly, Hal would have to be exiled to someplace like Elba or Siberia first, better yet, shot to the moon with a five-year air supply and a few Stanton jerseys to keep him warm.

I think LBJ might be on to something with his epiphany. Joey Binders may have known about the curse of 27, which is why he wore 28 at the end. For this terrible knowledge, Joey had to go. Brian, dark lord of the "Idiot Ring" in Dante's underworld, a lesser-documented place, is the enforcer for Prince Hal, known in the netherworld as "Hollow Head." 27 begins to assume more ominous proportions when you consult the gypsy woman down in Mississippi, the VERY SAME ONE who told Muddy Waters' mother about him being a mannish boy.

See, when great minds are on the case, ALL THE PIECES of the puzzle come together. Sit back, everybody, and take off your pants. LOS VASELINOS are riding into Houston and they're going pitch the MIGHTY HAPP. It is all foreordained. We will win 28 one day, but you and I may not be here to see it. Still, I have been to the mountain and I have seen something, but I smoked too much weed in the 70s and can't remember what. I think it's a good day for ramen.

Anonymous said...

People aren't watching because people don't have cable anymore. None of my social circle does.

I'm sure viewership is down league wide honestly.

TheWinWarblist said...

Can't Hal continue to manage the multisport media empire and delegate just the Yankees to Jennifer?

13bit said...

She probably left a dog turd under his pillow when he was 5 and he'll make her pay for it forever. Isn't that how it always works?

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