• 5 months ago

    Begging for any advice or help!!! Frequent Urination, Penile Retraction, Rare Sharp Urethra Sensation when Urinating, Rare Hard to Describe Pains

    So this has been an issue that hae plagued me for over half of my life and has resulted in terrible depression and a very poorvmental state. I beg of anyone to please take the time to read this post in its entirety and give advice or get it from an expert that could help. I'm currently a 24 year old Male. Around the age of 12-13, I was masturbating and tried to urinate in the middle of the process. I don't know why I did this at the time, I just remember do this. I was pushing out very hard in order to force urine through the erection. I looked down and saw a little blood come out. I stopped immediately. The next time I tried to masturbate, I felt a very sharp pain upon ejaculation. Ever since that moment, I started having the urge to urinate more frequently and I was always able to with ease. I also noticed that a small brown dot formed on the head if my penis. It's so difficult to explain what it felt like but it was almost as if my bladder wouldn't even hold urine, and that the urine would just go straight to my penis. My penis was also always going into a retracted state when I had to urinate or make a bowel movement. I also noticed I had this new ability to just keep pushing small amounts of urine out, which mainly occurred during bowel movements as I was already sitting on the toilet. Continuously doing this would greatly flare up my urethra and make it feel as if I needed to urinate even If i had already gone. It wasn't that bad at first so I didn't even realize anything was wrong. Through the years of puberty, my penis would on rare occasions go through periods of throbbing, specifically in the urethra area and almost always at night before bed. My penis also never really grew much during these time and it seems as if it's the same size as when the incident happened. As the years went by, the frequency of my urination got worse and worse and I was kind of living in denile because I was afraid to ask someone about it or go to a doctor to talk about my issues "down there." My freshman year of college, I was probably 18 or 19 and I finally got the courage up to say something to my mom. I thought at the time "Oh I must have a UTI" after doing a few minutes worth of research, so I ended up going to my family doctor and tested perfectly healthy. My family doctor ended up referring me to my first urologist. The urologist did a bladder ultrasound to see if I had any urine remaining in my bladder after urinating for him and he saw none. He figured I had some type of overactive bladder and put me on a medication for overactive bladder with directions to come back within a month. Well the overactive bladder pills did absolutely nothing for me and I ended up not returning because I was just so afraid of talking to someone about this issue. Fast forward about 5 years and I'm in my final year of college. My mental health is in peak decline. I'd been afraid to approach woman my entire life at this point due to my issues down there. It's also worth noting that the frequency of urination was at a point where I would ejaculate urine during periods of masturbation. This is one of the biggest issues I have with this main issue as it makes sexual intercourse a very awkward experience if I'm ejaculating urine from having to pee so badly after having just urinated 10 minutes ago... So I decided to try another urologist. This is where things go serious. Ended up getting a penile/bladder scope. It was a brutal procedure, I thought there's no way it could ever get worse than that. The nurse had to hold me down. This is where I thought for sure they would find something wrong, only to my mortification, it looked perfectly fine. I ended up getting put on another couple overactive bladder pills for month long periods all to no avail. Finally, they decided to do Urodynamics on me where they fill up my bladder and monitor the release. I was wrong about how it couldn't get any worse. I still have PTSD of sorts after getting the urodynamics done to me. Holy heck, that was brutal. I remember my urethra getting so flared up that I had to pee within 5 minutes and it was super hard to urinate in the position they had me sitting. I was sitting as I had almost passed out from the process of having the line pushed up into my bladder. The urologist determined from the results that I should have incisions made to my bladder neck which is typically only done to older men (I'm only 24). This procedure would prohibit me from ejaculating and greatly complicate the rest iprocedure. I have no desire to live life like that as a Male. I ended up going to a 2nd urologist in down in Columbus, OH and he was very surprised by hearing that this other urologist wanted to make bladder neck incisions due to the fact that I'm fairly young. This new Columbus urologist ended up putting me on a couple more overactive bladder medications that did nothing. He seemed really confused and ended up setting me up with a Pelvic Floor Therapist before deciding on moving forward with any procedure. It's now worth noting that none of these urologists spent much time at all drilling me with questions about what was wrong and none of them were very personable at all. The Pelvic Floor Therapist that I'm currently seeing was totally different. She spent the first session asking me a million different questions for nearly 2 hours which made me feel like she really cared. She also has me filling out bladder diaries (daily charts showing exactly when I'm peeing) which I was very surprised that the urologists had never done before. The therapy involved her trying to loosen up and relax certain muscles in the pelvic floor area. Unfortunately, it doesn't really seem to be working much. I talked with her about how frequent pushing out of urine, which mainly happens during bowel movements (I can just continuously push out small amounts of urine), really irritates my urethra and makes it feel as if I need to keep going. So part of the therapy also involved me trying to let any urine come out naturally without ever using the muscles to push out unless necessary. Doing this allowed for me to lengthen some of the time between urination and it also allowed for me to not need to ejaculate any urine during masturbation (up until about 15 min or a little before which still isnt 100% optimal). The current therapy is to try and hold my urine in and just increase the times between urinating in order to get my body and mind used to not peeing as often while is somewhat difficult after years of just going as much as I felt I needed to. I truly feel as if something is internally damaged although I'm not at all positive. I'm just really confused. I dont want to live life with any type of major procedure that wouldnt allow me to properly ejaculate semen anymore. I didn't think the urology field would be littered with so much uncertainty as well so that adds to the paranoia of nobody ever being able to tell me what's wrong or pinpoint something. If anybody has any advice or knowledge that I could pass onto my therapist or urologist, it would be life saving at this point.