Irish Jokes

The Irish have a long tradition of telling jokes over a pint or ten at the pub. The're also known for not being afraid of throwing some punches so watch who you say these to.

The Best Irish Jokes

Irish saying - There are only three kinds of men who don't understand women: young men, old men, and middle aged men.
Irish diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they'll look forward to the trip.
Irish Blessing - As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
What do you call two gay Irish men? -- Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? -- A bachelor.
The Irish way - Now don't be talking about yourself while you're here. We'll surely be doing that after you leave.
How does every Irish joke start? -- By looking over your shoulder.
What do you call a big Irish spider? -- A Paddy long legs.
What do you call a Irish man with a piece of glass behind both ears? -- Paddy O'Doors.
An Irish man walks out of a bar...oh, right, stumbles out of a bar
Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? -- There's one less drunk.
What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't wander around Dublin thinking he's Bono.
What's the difference between Ireland and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight? -- Liam Malone
What do you call an Irishman covered in boils? -- A leper-chaun.
Did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest? -- Me neither.

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