Saturday, 8 September 2012

Cats Think I'm Stupid!

Once again I have confirmed my cat's opinion that I am the densest thing living in this house.  Dogs don't do that.  Dogs think you are a veritable genius for being able to open fridges and drive cars!  Cats have a whole different set of criteria for intelligence.

Today, I gave this guy a kiss goodbye when I left the house. ~

He didn't move.  Not a twitch.  I called his name. Nothing.  Oh, my gosh, he's dead!  I did the only thing you can do with a dead cat and called his name louder and shook him.  He gave me a look that said, "Why would you wake me from such a good nap in that brutal way?".  Oops!  Hey, he's over 20 years old and I can't detect life in an animal that lies there like a stone!

That doesn't make me stupid does it?  Oh no.  I'm wise to their tricks.  I know they won't come when I call, if they don't feel like it.  I know they think I'm an idiot because I can't see where they are.  But, I've learned to look in the direction the other cats are looking, as they shake their heads in dismay, over my poor sense of vision, hearing and smell.  Aha, there you are!

I don't try to race this girl to the top of the stairs anymore.  She thinks I'm the slowest thing on the planet and even has time to pull most of the peacock feathers out of the vase before I get there!   If she's feeling really saucy, she'll teeter along the top rail to watch me hold my breath.~

They've no idea how I expect them to use this thing for anything other than a bed. ~

There's a perfectly good tongue and groove board wall upstairs to use for sharpening claws. ~

But the real insult came from the stray I call Black Kitty.  He can't have a name because he fights and sprays.  If he doesn't have a name he can't come inside to live. ~

Also, I already had three cats and I'm single and in danger of becoming the CRAZY CAT LADY!  For two years I've fed him outside.  The neighbours asked me not to.  Actually, they asked me not to feed any wild animals because they got a silly notion that the reason we had a wild animal problem was because I fed them all every day.  I just gave the neighbours my best, "What is wrong with you?" cat look and that ended the discussion.

Anyway, I've taught Black Kitty to roll over, which is the only trick I've ever been able to teach cats.

Get ready for it.  Start rolling! ~

Wait a minute!  Something is on his neck. ~

It's a flea collar and I didn't put it there!  Maybe I should attach a note asking if someone owns this guy. ~

My cats looked smugly at me as if to say, "We always knew you shouldn't be giving him any of our food.". Two years I have fed this guy and put up with him spraying my windows and doors!

I truly hope someone has just adopted him and I'm not losing face with the entire feline population, feral or otherwise, in this village!


  1. hehehe, it's okay to be the crazy cat lady, better than the boring lady next door! I do think the cats may have you suckered though! You have the cats, I'm the insane woman with ALL those kids :)

  2. You are a riot! I so wish I could have cats! Sam is allergic...horribly. But they are the best! You...a crazy cat lady! I never would have guessed! (My company is sleeping in, so I took a few minutes to read my faves with my coffee!)

  3. OMGOSH- Is that funny or what? Ummmm...You are probably thinking or what. How hysterical that he shows up with a flea collar. He probably has a whole route he from one....warm milk from another.....a flea collar old fish there......omg-I could just go on and on and on. Don't touch the flea collar-it may be a faux Snow White's Apple, if you know what I mean. xo Diana

  4. This is hilarious. I did the same thing once. Oh my goodness. I did attach a note to the collar and that was the end of the cat begging for food at the door. They are smarter than whips.

  5. You made me laugh! Our dogs are such good liars. I feed them and then when my family awakes they act as though they are starving and get fed again. :)

  6. What a hoot! Sounds so familiar. The idea of a note? Well last night on tv a program about cameras and the funny ways they are sometimes used was on and a photographer attached a camera to his cat which prompted other people to volunteer their cats for the same thing. One lady was really surprised to find her cat was a cheater...he actually had another home and took turns living in them, LOL. I wonder if this is a common cat trait??? Oh yes, and I'm on the CRAZY CAT LADY list too. My latest stray is now eating me out of house and home in the laundry room, because he's soaking wet from the downpour last night, LOL.

  7. It's not just you Maureen...we are all stupid in our cats eye's. We always had 3 cats until the kids left home and we moved into our condo. Dang condo rules!!

  8. Lol - Cats are indifferent to us because they are sooo clever. They look needy and we all succumb to their charms, because you can't beat cuddling a purring cat !
    Our dog has managed to get two dinners out of us before - we don't communicate enough, and he just looks at us with those doggy eyes.

  9. had me rolling on the floor lady!
    Honestly, I kind of don't like cats but these guys seems to keep you on your toes! Sweet they are :)

  10. I can so relate to that! My cat gets me to shake her food bowl every time before she eats. she also gets me to leave my comfy chair and hand it over to her. no idea how she does that, but i guess we humans just maybe really are stupid...

  11. Oh my gosh, Maureen! I'm more of a dog person but when we lost our doxie, I missed having the affection/company. We do like to travel and dogs are a lot of work, so I decided on a cat. (Mr. DIY is a cat LOVER...his lives at his office). Well, I do have a shadow but they are so much different than dogs for sure. She knows what she isn't allowed to do and does it anyway. (Dogs at least stop when you tell them "no".) And those claws? Every morning they fish under MY covers for my feet. Not the cat lover's feet, but mine. haha! And cats don't play or get all excited (not in the way a dog does) but I'm adjusting and love her. Anyway...great post because I get superior looks from her all of the time and know how it feels!

  12. Oh, the cat with the collar is funny! One time when I was a kid, we fed a cat forever and wondered if it was someones cat, so we tied a note on a collar with our phone number and yep, we were feeding someones cat....Yep, they are sneaky like that


  13. Four cats are much better. Honestly, when EMily showed up back in January, the other three cats were happier. Go figure! I love Mr. Stray Black Kitty. Our Julius pulled that stunt when we were living in NS. He started showing up at our back door and we fed him and eight months later, took him in. Meanwhile our neighbours were feeding him too! But he turned out to be OUR cat. :) He had been a stray milking it for all it was worth.

    Cats! They wouldn't tolerate our stupidity if we didn't hand over the stink food so readily. :)

  14. Sweet cat post. Yes I think you should attach a note with your number. I'm curious if this smart cat is getting fed in two places, giggle.

  15. Bah ha ha,....isn't it the truth. Every day I am so thankful that our cats continue to let us live here,...probably just to laugh at us.