How you know you’ve found true friends



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They make you fall out of your chair laughing. Are your first phone call about everything. And encouraged you to challenge yourself.


Who are they? True friends. Through all life’s ups and downs, these are the people who make us who we are. While we are constantly interacting with a variety of people there are nine similarities in all true friendships.


1. They are your first phone call: Whether it’s your first call, text, iMessage, GroupMe, Facetime, or whatever platform you use, they are the first one to be on the receiving end of your “breaking news”. Whether it’s good or bad, you know you can trust them. They are the ones you want to share experiences with and who make everyday moments special. Whether it’s laughing about the silliest of jokes, or talking about your deep aspirations, (or anything in between), a true friend is the person you know will want to pick up the phone when you call.


2. They know your strengths and weaknesses and love you just the same: Growing up, my Dad would always remind me of this fundamental truth about friendship. It is important because while the world is full of the expectation of always showing your best side, everyone has issues they struggle through. In the end, it’s your true friends who know about the rough patches and still provide unconditional friendship. While this kind of friendship is important for everyone it has a unique importance for us Type As. While we are constantly working and racing around trying to perfect ourselves, it is often easy to get lost in the desire for perfection and the reality that all humans make mistakes. Being able to have someone who you can trust to confide in when struggling (and can trust to be there for you) is important for your own health and happiness.


3. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself: Everyone has moments where they see themselves through a bent lens. True friends, however, are the ones who remind you of who you truly are. No matter the situation they are able to remind you of your strengths during difficult times and keep you moving toward your aspirations. These are the people who know what advice you need to hear (because they know you!) and are able to get you back on the right track. Whether you need someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay or give you ideas for fixing a problem, they can relate to you and help point you in the right direction.


4. You want to be there for them: Real friendship works both ways. While they are there for you, you also want nothing more than to be there for them. When your friend is having a bad day, it becomes your mission to make it better. You remind them of their strengths and give them a set of ears when they need to talk about an issue. Ultimately, their well-being is incredibly important to you. Whether you see each other every day or not, you are always interested in how their life is going and want to make sure they are happy.


5. You are their biggest fan and supporter: When they are excited you are jumping for joy. When they achieve something great, you enjoy celebrating along. When they are in a good mood, you are in a good mood. By knowing what is important to them you are able to feel intense joy when their special moments roll around. Whether it’s a dream of thiers coming true or listening to them talk about their passions, you are happy for them. Not only are you proud of them but you celebrate their successes during mini life moments. When a casual conversation or TV advertisement makes a reference to their success, you take a silent moment to enjoy knowing how happy the particular moment made them.


6. You push each other to be better: Best friends believe in you so much that they will encourage you to push your boundaries. They find ways of encouraging you to believe you can accomplish your goals and help you clear our the obstacles in your path. No matter how many times you may worry or self-doubt yourself, they find a way to pick you back up and help you continue striving for your goals. Ultimately, when you succeed you want to share it with them because you know how big of a role they played in making you the person you are today.


7. They inspire you: Hearing my friends tell me I inspire them will never stop leaving me speechless. Often it’s because they are the ones inspiring and motivating me! This cycle of motivating one another is an important aspect of a strong, healthy friendship. When you are constantly surrounded by people who make you stronger and who you make stronger in return, you each leave a lasting effect on one another. (Shout out to those who continue to inspire me!).


8. You have your “thing”: Be it nicknames, or inside jokes, you have that lighthearted thing (or things) that keeps you connected. While these special somethings naturally evolve over time, they are the unique qualities of your friendship. The closer you get to a friend the more you learn about what makes your friendship unique. These can be noticed through-

  1. Mundane things beginning to remind you of a conversation or experience associated with them
  2. You both laughing for an extended period of time without having to vocalize the joke
  3. Literally finishing one another’s sentences
  4. Starting to take on habits that you learned from them


9. Distance isn’t an ultimatum: True friends can go extended periods of time without seeing one another and reunite like nothing has changed. Especially as a college student, it can feel as if you are living two different lives: one at home and one at school. While there are different people you see on a day-to-day basis in both these lives, you can immediately reconnect with your best friends after being away for a while and pick up as if nothing changed.


Now that you’ve read about your best friends share this article with them to show them how important they are to you! And be sure to thank them for helping you become the person you are today. 🙂

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