Thursday, 24 March 2016

gender defender

we're all alone
on the stage tonight

g e n d e r   d e f e n d e

an overview of gender discrimination
in modern society 

little girls love their Daddies
even if they do bad things 

he's a monster

it's obvious that he is a misogynist and under fire
he has even openly admitted that he enjoys 
inflicting pain on women for sexual pleasure
and so, if they just happen to be there
wrong place at the wrong time
then I guess it's their problem
isn't it


predators prevail
millions of men abuse women every day 
because they can - legally
even religiously justified

and so

this incredulous incarceration?
all temporary - water
under the bridge
soon to be

because now her credibility is in question

she gets what she deserves
what she has coming
to her 

I mean ok - bottom line
 most women who are sexually assaulted
were asking for it in the first place



sex is almost always on his terms
because men are meant to be
in control - and get to be
just that

women - submission
quietly and all under the radar
ah shit - new rules - WTF
relief arrives - ah yes! 

"not guilty" - a verdict pronounced
by a judge in the Canadian legal system 
having found flaws, ok "inconsistencies"
in the (so-called) victim's testimony in a court of law
limp and languid - desperately dangling
hanging onto calm resolve

their apparent confusion
targeted - seeking emancipation
facts left out - shame
now lies

all she really wanted
was to be loved - going along with it
because it's what he wants
and she has no idea
what's going on

we know all our lines so well - aha
we've said them so many times

sometimes there are juries made up of men and women
who compose a verdict based on the evidence
transcending the barriers and reaching up
not this time - nope

one male judge presiding deciding

 it's an unspoken phenomenon
ok, behind closed doors
 or in a smelly locker room
after their ritual squash game
2 guys convalescing

women (essentially) are liars 
colluding in sin, in defiance 
in reaction - wrongdoing becomes
gender specific yet again

she doesn't get to do that, get away with it
can't be trusted

she becomes permanently damaged

and yet he now is free to roam to continue 
doing what he does - because he can now 
free to do whatever he chooses 
back to black

you see, this isn't a man problem
it's a woman problem

ok, I was there but this has nothing to do with me 
this is all her bullshit

 I mean - come on
she deserves it - she had it coming to her
can't you see that


in 1968 my Mom lost a custody battle with my Dad
because the courts judged her incompetent
in her inability to raise us properly - ok

Dad hired an expensive (pit bull) lawyer in London
Mom (having no money) hired a lame local Woodstock lawyer

deer in the headlights

she only gave us up to him because she was sick (1966)
cancer - no choice/options - recovering later
wanting us back 

she even has a steady job - better now
and we really wanted to be with her again
municipal social workers coming to our school
asking us/me - telling them of my (our) wish
to go back to her

nadda - not an option

not a chance - the courts judged her callously
he took us away from her to punish us/her

for even considering leaving him
more than anything

he didn't love us
like she did


my younger brother and I had no say in it
just kids - so nadda - not possible

oh, and let's not forget ...
she was fornicating with another man in the "marriage"
and there is undeniable proof of that

so was he (only multiplied) 

none of that matters anyway
because he is a man and she
is a woman

it's like he has the 'right' to do that
and she does not

promiscuity is a word in his dictionary, not hers
and shame is a word in her dictionary, not his
"get over here"
now watch and learn - if in fact - she actually comes?
well there you go

case closed  

Dad didn't beat Mom (physically) - I was there
even though he really wanted to beat her to a pulp
didn't happen, BUT he abused her emotionally
leaving her for weeks alone
with next to no money - with two kids
the word, "terrorism" has far too many ramifications
5 bucks for a pack of smokes - you can do this
maybe some groceries - weiners and beans
yet again  

and when he came home
there was no interest in her, because he had his fill
in the days previous - "so shut the fuck up"
and leave me alone to drink
and jerk off in peace 

traveling salesmen
doing what men do after hours
in some bar in nowhere Ontario
while she waited for something
that she wasn't allowed
to have

Dad was a barfly who picked up lonely women
and fucked them because that's what men did
in the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's - even still

oh wait, I have no real "proof" of this
herein lies the heart of the problem
and even if I did, as a woman
presenting it

not a chance in hell 

out of sight - out of mind
what does it matter?

nothing has changed since

oh yes - there are many many

mean spirited women in the world too
even evil and yes, there are 2 sides
to every story

women in multitudes 
who would eat any man for lunch
if they had the chance to
so maybe, I'm out to lunch here 

my theory is a simple one - and that is this ...

there is a good reason why they are like that 
they weren't born that way - it just happened
they came to be this way for reasons
that we may never know 
"so who do you think you are anyway?
you don't get to be anything
because you are nothing"

I remember him saying that


you deserve nothing more than this
this is your destiny - your neglect - is real
your inappropriate behaviour
in your inability to pay proper attention

to me

we're all alone
on the stage tonight

Read more at:

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

message in a bottle

detach yourself from the seeming
successes and failures of your children

 by doing so, you become able
to be one with them at all times
you do not live your life
through your children

 therefore they are free
to find their own true fulfillment

The Parents Tao Te Ching - translated by William Martin

m e s s a g e   i n   a   b o t t l e

and at once, I knew
I was not magnificent

unemployed again - late in the game
I’m looking for a job where there’s room for my spirit to grow 
(easier said than done)

I've been most fortunate
in having rewarding employment
jobs that I liked (ok most)  

it’s always been important and especially so now
it's becoming more of a challenge with each passing day
in a fixed timeline tock-ticking and where relevance 
becomes an exercise in irreverence 

my home is in a world vibrant, fragrant and abundant
by a field near water with blue sky and clean air

less - is more


I’m thinking about what it will be like 
sitting on the rocks of the southern shore of Lake St. Clair 
on a cold cloudy day in March 1969
where I lived as a 12 year old boy in isolation
parents split - spitting strangely - stupidly

living with Dad and this woman - an old flame fermenting
who hates us because we're just in her way
she just wants him - not us
me and my younger brother
Dad always gone, out of the picture
so yeah, both parents
in absentia 

Dad drinks, everyone drinks - a lot
beach-combing - a daily ritual for David and me
finding shit that washes up 
looking out, just the sound of the waves 
and the hollow, haunting cry of the seagulls

floating by (going with the flow)

I can do this
looking up

it's all in the absorption

seeing a corked clear bottle drifting my way 
lifting it out - removing the slippery, cold green seaweed 
opening it - a piece of paper - wow! 
this handwriting looks familiar 

it’s a note from me, written 47 years in the future (March 2016)
unraveling the roll and absorbing it in the quiet

it reads as follows ...


I want to think about progress in nature
I want to see the stars and
thank the gods
I’m 59 and there’s not a whole lot of time left
and I want what’s left to count for something in the world
spending time thinking about what we don’t want 
(or what has gone wrong) 
is a waste and I’d like those years back - gone 
I want to spend time thinking about what I do want 

I want to inspire people
everyone around me
that being said, I am consistently reminded 
that we live in a world 
made up of shapes and things
circles, triangles and squares
and that thinking out of the box

means compromising the integrity 
of the infrastructure


there’s black and white
then the primary colours then - ok
I think you get the idea
rules are important because structure is important 
without them there would be no order in the universe
so I respect our rules and laws - values and beliefs
providing one doesn’t get stuck inside them

magnetized to the dots on a flat white page 
with an inability to connect them
let alone distance oneself - seeing the bigger picture
from a fresh new perspective (from afar)

this for me is what life is fundamentally about 
that willingness to take a step back and appreciate
what goes on under the surface
or beyond our exterior

utilizing our resources 
to their utmost

listening to her nautical narrative 
silently sung
between the lofty lines 
the magic that exists in all things 
and yet remains elusive 

to the naked eye



 spending time thinking about what I don’t want 
is a waste of everyone's time 
I want to spend what’s left of my life 
thinking about what I do want

and at once, I knew
I was not magnificent

there are those who would say no
I would do nothing differently - me?
I would do everything differently
starting with this

I love you friend

may you live abundantly 
and love every single, breathing moment 

that remains