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Showing posts from 2017

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Black love ain't easy

Black love ain't easy. We see the t-shirts and the insta posts and snaps. We gush at the #relationshipgoals, we nod our heads at the #squadgoals, but what is our reality? As a whole, in this society, we are unstable.

Truth is *in my Fantasia voice*, we often find ourselves at odds as a people and with society in general. With all of the talk about F-Boys and Thots, trash baby-mamas and deadbeat baby-daddies, it is a wonder how we even manage to reproduce. You see people priding themselves on rolling solo and not trusting anybody, focused on "doing me" and ravaged by inner-community perils, so how do we build with no partnership? 
Black love ain't easy. Keep in mind, I'm not talking about romantic love, solely. I'm including love for our brothers and sisters, the young and old, etc., in general.  Love is so necessary for building a strong foundation. It is hard to love someone else when you struggle to love yourself. We happen to live in a society that exacer…

'Fix me a sandwich'

"Fix me a sandwich," is something I've heard from some rude behind menfolk when they feel they are the authority on a particular subject where women need not speak. I feel it is said to not only dismiss your opinion but to put you in your place. You know.. like the only thing women are good for is catering to a man and making sandwiches.

Some dudes, who have never had women as peers, tend to see this as no big deal. Why? Because they have only been around other like-minded clowns with little exposure to women as anything other than sexual objects or romantic partners. That's just how I see it. Over time their views may change, but they hold onto nasty little habits when it comes to interacting with women.

Bad habits are hard to break. I have a bad habit of checking Facebook when I wake up each morning. That bad habit sometimes takes me down a rabbit hole of debates and snarky comments...and I thrive on the snark!

This morning I woke up to this:

I need your opinion on…

Clothing stores of my youth...from YBBGStyle


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Issa vs Tasha: The paradox of shooting your shot

Have you gotten into Insecure on HBO? I love the show, and we are now into season two. The first season was only eight episodes, thirty minutes each, so if you have not yet seen it, you can catch up really quickly.

I won't go too deeply into the plot. But here it is in a nutshell: In season one, Cali gal Issa is experiencing a lag in life and the dread that comes before hitting the big 3-0. She's in the space in life where you're still trying to figure life out and make a come back from the mistakes of your twenties...all in the few months you have before reaching age 30.

One of the plot conflicts of season two:

Issa is the ex-girlfriend of Lawrence. Tasha is the current friend with benefits of Lawrence. Lawrence is this dude who just became employed after two years of living off of Issa. Now, I don't know what their relationship was like pre-funk. Lawrence found himself in a funk while trying to develop some app that did not take off and not wanting to work... he then…

Girls Trip Movie Review...kinda

Girls Trip is taking the box office and social media by storm. Some say it is like Hangover with Black Girl Magic sprinkled all over it.

Ryan (Regina Bell) is set to give the keynote address at Essence Festival in New Orleans. She decides that it is the prime opportunity to bring back the Flossy Posse, her crew from FAMU c/o 1995. The ladies have not seen each other in five years. There's the reformed party girl Lisa (Jada Pinkett-Smith), the journalist turned gossip blogger on a budget Sasha (Queen Latifah), and the wild child who never grew up Dina (Tiffany Haddish).

The ladies' first class trip to New Orleans takes some wild turns from the plane to the hotel to the hole in the wall club where they have a dance off that ends with the police being called. Throw in some wild rides, some old and new flames, some drank and a couple of magic tricks and you have a hilariously funny comedic trip through friends, foes and fun. 
I won't spoil the movie for you, but I will tell y…

Husband material

Husband material... It was something my college friends labeled my college boyfriend. They would say, "Girl he is husband material, you'd better hold onto him," as I looked at them dumbfounded. What made him "husband material," exactly?

As a matter of fact, what is "husband material" anyway? What does that even mean? The way I figure it, being husband material requires more than great physical attributes, though those don't hurt. It means someone who can actually sustain a healthy relationship. It is more than going to church every Sunday, paying tithes and being on active duty in church ministry, though many a church girl swoons over such actions.

Good decision-maker
To be husband material, a man has to have a track record of making good decisions that far outnumber his bad decisions. I mean, we all make mistakes, but multiple "mistakes" are not mistakes at all, they are more like habits. Furthermore, to meet husband material criteria, a…

His image in his daughter's eyes

His daughter was born. The image he had of himself began to fall away, being replaced by the image she had of him. Were his actions meeting her standards? Probably not. Did his decisions change the way she saw him? Probably.

What's a daddy to a little girl? A superhero. Her first love. The strongest man in the world. The lens through which she sees all men.

But what becomes of him in her eyes, when his actions seem more like a villain?

I am a fan of storytelling and poetry. As Tupac once said (paraphrasing), Rap is merely poetry set to a beat...without the beat, the poetry would still be there... It just seems that these days, the poetry and storytelling are gone and without the beat, there would be nothing.

The other day, I listened to Kill Jay-Z, on Shawn Carter's latest album: "4:44". Carter said he began writing it when he was snapped out of sleep at 4:44 a.m.  I have had those kinds of wakeful moments in the middle of the night, so I understand.

In Kill Jay-Z, …

Hoop Dreams: Grandpa wants to join the NBA

Calvin Roberts is angling to make the G-League (formerly known as the D-League), NBA developmental league. Roberts is 61-years-old. From Fox News:

Not to date myself, but I was in diapers when Roberts was drafted and ended up playing, I am just a couple years younger than Vince Carter, the oldest current player in the NBA. Carter recently said he's, "open"to joining the Golden State Warriors.

NBA Basketball is like a drug. Out of all other sports, I swear basketball is the one where every player still feels like he has something left in the tank and either can make it to the league for the first time, or make it back into the league. Just the other day, I was listening to local sports radio, when former NBA player Stephen Jackson was on promoting the Big…

Keeping tabs: Concern, Suspicion, or Crazy?

A few years ago, I wrote this post about keeping tabs on your significant other. A couple of days ago, a gentleman posted a comment to the post that recieved interesting feedback. 
How do you view "checking in" with your significant other? Is checking in a good or bad thing? #relationships #dating #blog #ontheblog #datingadvice #issues A post shared by YBBGBlog (@ybbg_blog) on Jun 27, 2017 at 6:54am PDT
In light of this comment, how do people view checking in with or on their significant other?

"Depends if they are married. Or if they are exclusively dating. Or if they are just casual acquaintances. If they normally communicate a few times throughout the day. Then I can see his point and his concern."-CC, gent"Her phone was in the back seat? She took issue with him wanting to know what she was doing? Hmm......I would need more details about this because I got more questions than answers."-L.W., gent "It really boils down to the nature of the relations…