And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
A map they could all understand.
"What's the good of Mercator's North Poles and Equators,
Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?"

So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply
"They are merely conventional signs!
But we've got our brave Captain to thank:

(So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best..
A perfect and absolute blank!"
This was charming, no doubt; but they shortly found out
That the Captain they trusted so well

Had only one notion for crossing the ocean,
And that was to tingle his bell.
He was thoughtful and grave..but the orders he gave
Were enough to bewilder a crew.

What on earth was the helmsman to do?
Then the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder sometimes:
A thing, as the Bellman remarked,

That frequently happens in tropical climes,
But the principal failing occurred in the sailing,
And the Bellman, perplexed and distressed,

That the ship would not travel due West!
But the danger was past..they had landed at last,
With their boxes, portmanteaus, and bags:

Which consisted to chasms and crags.
The Bellman perceived that their spirits were low,
And repeated in musical tone

Lewis Carroll