You Decide

Step Right Up

Take this quiz to find out if you’re brave enough to go on a Loco trip. Want more info? Tough sh*t. And let’s be honest, we won’t even read your answers. This is just click bait.


What’s on your playlist?

Correct! Wrong!

Any other band that ever existed, obviously. For all you kids out there, the Eagles are like if your dad bought an ugly guitar and joined Nickelback. And yes we know that saying you hate Nickelback or the Eagles is like saying you hate racism but come on, they really do suck.

Which is more fun?

Correct! Wrong!

Put it this way, if you want to fight for a deck chair with a greasy guy named Dwight from Iowa who reminds you of your creepy uncle Vern and his pasty wife Irene, who smells like sweaty cheese, then go to the all inclusive because you probably won't want to come with us.

What should you eat?

Please select 2 correct answers

Correct! Wrong!

Tip to tail is some hipster shit where you eat the entire animal, including the naughty bits. And Meat is Murder is a Morrissey reference. It has something to do with clubbing babies. I don't know, look it up. Anyway, eat whatever you want.

What if I'm thirsty?

Please select 2 correct answers

Correct! Wrong!

Diet anything is like drinking cancer! Not that we would ever encourage drinking alcohol but both wine tours and pub crawls can be fun depending on who you're with and how much you drink. Do drink lots of water.

What about culture?

Correct! Wrong!

This place all the way! That shit is cool!!! Of course the Eiffel Tower is ok too but you can see that on your honeymoon or the seniors tour you take with your mom.

Netflix and chill?

Correct! Wrong!

Neither! You're going somewhere awesome so turn off that damn screen and go outside!

Baby can I drive something?

Correct! Wrong!

The chicken bus may smell like vomit (probably yours) and the chickens may be kind of weird but it only costs $0.37 cents to get you half way across the country and your Facebook friends will think you're really cultured. So chicken bus. Hint... Don't eat the mystery meat that woman is trying to sell you. We tried it... not good.

How should I pack?

Correct! Wrong!

Rolly-suitcase... haha. People will laugh at you. We're laughing at you! No really, pack any way you want but the right answer is backpack. Bonus points if all you bring is your passport and toothbrush.

What should I wear?

Please select 2 correct answers

Correct! Wrong!

Whatever, we aren't the fashion police. But don't wear a Speedo to the restaurant. Show some respect. Correct answer... neither.

Chicken Quiz
You are not a chicken!
You are awesome and we want to be your friend! Please book with us and share lots of pictures on Instagram because we know you're followers are probably awesome too. Can you come on our next trip?
You are a little bit chicken
You'd probably still sleep in your mom’s bed if she'd let you but we think you have potential so book away!
You are a chicken!
We don't think that you're brave enough for Loco Tourismo and you might want to book a seniors cruise instead. I hear that shuffle board can be calming. Ok ok you can come but keep your neurosis to yourself, everyone else is trying to have fun.

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