One word - unbearable - sums up the overwrought tearjerker “The Art of Racing in the Rain,” the latest canine flick exploiting the nature of a dog’s soul and how our prized pets fill our hearts.

Simon Curtis (“Goodbye Christopher Robin”) is the orchestrator of this mangy mutt adapted by Mark Bomback from Garth Stein’s 2008 bestseller. The presentation is flat, the dialogue pedestrian (“he’s more person than dog”) and the story is frustratingly predictable, the kind where a character’s seemingly innocuous headache turns deadly.

The title is a mouthful, but the plot is simple: Boy meets dog, then girl (Amanda Seyfried), then comes baby (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) then life goes off the rails. It’s Hallmark Channel 101. A golden retriever named Enzo (Kevin Costner, gravelly) narrates, starting at the end of his life while laying in “a puddle of his own making.” Cue the flashbacks to when Enzo first found his owner, Denny (Milo Ventimiglia), a racecar driver in Seattle. Enzo (as in Ferrari) leads the way while eschewing some Mongolian philosophical beliefs that one day after he dies - or when his soul learns what it needs to learn - he will reincarnate as a human, remembering everything he learned as a dog. You’re probably ready to roll over and play dead, right?

The film frequently references the metaphor in its title. Denny is particularly adept at racing in the rain, a skill he mastered on the wet tracks of Washington state. The gist is you can control the skid if you can anticipate it. He’s not-so-good at rising to the challenges of a script resorting to terminal illness, litigious in-laws, a custody battle, financial trouble, packing school lunches, braiding hair ... Playing virtually the same loving father and husband he portrays on TV’s “This Is Us,” it’s a role Ventimiglia can do - and does - in his sleep.

At one point Enzo says: “Gestures are all I have. I can’t talk.” That’s ironic because this movie is all talk. Costner never stops. The narration is constant, and while there was a line or two drawing a chuckle, it’s tedious. Scenes taking place at the racetrack are a welcome distraction but can’t absolve the tedium. The movie is literally missing in action.

Denny’s races mostly take place off-camera. If Curtis and Bomback had a grasp of sports-movie beats, they would have provided something beyond’s Enzo’s beef with a stuffed zebra and the “accident” all over a white carpet. This passes for comic relief?

At least it’s preferable to the swelling music letting you know exactly how you’re supposed to feel. It’s unabashedly manipulative with a positive message about perseverance (“There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose.”), which goes unappreciated because the melodrama gets the best of everyone. It’s a “ruff” ride.


“The Art of Racing in the Rain”
(PG for thematic material.)
Grade: C-