Family Reunion (2019) s01e07 Episode Script

Remember the First Day of School?

1 [SCATS.]
A Netflix original I want y'all to meet my family They're coming down south To stay with me - Big Moz - Do you love me? - Yep - I'm Cocoa Jade in the house, I've got a lot to say I'm a big sis Can't-miss renegade - Call me Shaka now - Hey - I'm the, I'm the chief rocker now - Hey Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi That's me - Little mommy, I'm Ami - Hey Singing loud and having fun It's Family Reunion [M'DEAR LAUGHS.]
Family Reunion was filmed in front of a live audience.
Jade, you don't wanna be late for first day of school.
Did you know kids in Sweden only go to school for three hours a day? Name a city in Sweden.
Huh? Uh That's why you go for six.
Both of you, brush your teeth.
Let's go.
Brush 'em all.
I thought last night, we decided on the denim romper.
Oh, it was too cute.
I'm the new girl, so I'm already gonna stand out.
I don't want to look thirsty.
I see you don't have any problem looking triflin'.
What do you think? This says fun-and-friendly Jade, but then this says sophisticated-and-approachable Jade.
Which says dressed-and-in-the-car Jade? You know, Jade, you will look great in anything.
I remember when I was tiny like you, only I was known as Big Booty Judy.
Why Judy? Because Big Booty Amelia doesn't rhyme.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Whoa! Can a brother get a warning? Almost put my eye out with that thing.
I hope you spend as much time with your books as you do with your clothes.
Of course I do.
- Then where are your books? - They're in my room.
- Then what are these? - Like I said, they're in the kitchen.
- Mommy there's a woman's march on Saturday.
Can we go? Oh, absolutely, sweet pea.
You know, Jade, you should come this time.
That last one was so empowering.
Support the sisterhood.
I'm a nasty woman.
I do support the sisterhood.
Which is why I hope you'll bring me back another girl power t-shirt.
Well, don't you want to march and earn it? [GROANS.]
That just sounds so sweaty.
I pity your generation.
Hey Hey Hey Hey, hey, hey - Hey, Jade.
- Hey.
Everyone is so smiley and friendly.
Is this how they treat all the new kids? Just the ones with toilet-paper tails.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- My God.
- Don't worry.
It happens all the time.
- Really? - No.
I just wanted you to feel better.
Actually, it's Jade.
Remember? Of course it is.
As-salaam-alaikum is Arabic.
It means, "Peace be unto you.
" It's like, "Wassup?" Oh, cool.
My Arabic's a little rusty.
Um a-salami-bacon to you, too.
Good morning, ladies.
- Hi.
- Good morning.
I am Principal Glass, and I'm new here.
Can someone please tell me why you are dressed like you are going to a discotheque? Is that a new app? No.
It's an old club where your grandparents used to shake their tail feathers while I was out risking my tail for America.
Your attire is unacceptable.
What? Why? Too short.
Too tight.
Too naked.
Consider investing into fatigues.
They're neat and practical.
But we're not at war.
The battle to train the mind never ends.
All three of you, march.
Come on now.
Y'all wouldn't have lasted five minutes in Fallujah.
Come on now.
You must be May-zi.
Oh, it's Mazzi.
Cool name.
I'm Andres.
What are your folks feeding you? You're a giant.
That's funny.
I'm usually the shortest kid in class.
Yeah, I'm hoping for a growth spurt.
Dunking on LeBron is on my bucket list.
Good morning, everyone.
I'm Ms.
Find your seats.
Okay, let's start with an icebreaker.
Can anyone tell me what an icebreaker is? - Tell me your name.
- It's Mazzi.
And an icebreaker is? - A fun get-to-know-you game.
- That's right, Mazzi.
You're our first winning student.
A teacher giving out candy? Is this a set-up? She's drumming up business.
Her husband's a dentist.
Can't knock the hustle.
Okay, I want everybody to say why they're excited to be in fourth grade.
Fourth grade? I thought this was fifth grade.
It's definitely fourth.
Candace there has been my woman since we were in kindergarten, and we just celebrated our four-year anniversary.
It's a love-hate thing.
Oh, man, I'm in the wrong class.
I've gotta tell Miss Fink.
Oh, Mazzi.
My superstar.
Tell us why you're excited about fourth grade.
But before you do, take two.
I'm excited about the fourth grade because I have the best teacher in the world.
Good answer.
I thought you were gonna tell her.
I changed my mind.
Maybe I'll tell her.
Good thing we had these clothes in the lost and found.
Otherwise, you would've had to go home and change.
This shirt smells funny.
There's nothing funny about the way mine smells.
You should've thought about that before you came to my school dressed as Hoochie and the Blowfish.
I don't understand why my outfit was inappropriate.
This is the student handbook.
Section 163 clearly states our dress code.
Commit it to memory and show up here for lunchtime detention.
And next time, make better choices.
- I wish I'd chosen my denim romper.
- That's a negative.
First you're wearing a romper, then you flirt with a cashier at the grocery store.
Next, you're leaving your devoted husband of ten years, so romp that romper right back into your closet, Carla.
I mean, Miss McKellan.
Ooh, girl, you better run.
Yeah, Principal Glass is on a romper rampage.
Nice backpack.
Hey, is this yours? Is this yours? [SIGHS.]
"Brooke Green.
" You have great taste, Brooke.
- Hey, Brooke.
- Hey.
Oh, you're my dream You're my dream Brooke.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Maybelle, for the last time, I do not have your frying pan.
I have the memory of an elephant.
I What? I said "memory," heffer.
That's why your third husband left, 'cause you don't know how to talk to nobody.
Besides, I only use cast-iron skillets.
Now, I would remember if I borrowed your stainless-steel frying pan with that big ol' letter "M" in the center.
Isn't this an "M"? Oh, no, baby, that's not a "M.
" That's a "W.
" See? My folks used to post up like this and watch us come home from school.
M'Dear could tell what kind of day we had by the way we were walking.
Oh, here comes Jade.
What's that walk say? That's definitely an "I had a great day and can't wait to tell you all about it" walk.
Hey, sweetie.
How was your first day? Ahh.
Horrible, humiliating, traumatizing.
I may have read her walk wrong.
Well, honey, and I hate to pile on, but why on earth why would you pick that to wear? I didn't.
The principal made me.
He's a crazy ex-Army lieutenant who runs the place like a military academy.
I got detention for wearing this.
- That's an adorable top.
- Uh-huh.
Wait, that's my top.
How dare he tell us what we can wear? - Our top is fine.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, I'm not sure about the color [BOTH.]
Our top is fine! Okay.
It's fine in Seattle.
But we're in the South, and I told you things here might be different.
You said different, not oppressive.
- We need to have a talk with that man.
- And say what? "We're ignoring school policies so our kid can show a little skin?" He'll laugh us out of there, and I bet all the schools in town have the same rules.
So you mean I don't have any choice? This is not fair.
- Life isn't always fair, baby.
- [COCOA.]
I want to go home.
Okay, remind me why this move was a great idea.
We knew there'd be some bumps until we all adjusted.
Upp, here comes Mazzi.
Oh, no.
Poor fellow looks like a dead man walking.
- Hey, son.
- How was your day? Awesome! I love school! I love Columbus! I'm so glad we moved here.
You're just not good at this.
Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
You're home late.
I've been trying to find Brooke Green to return this backpack.
Oh, yeah? Is she pretty? I mean, smart, in case your mother's listening.
Oh, yeah, she is real smart.
And we have a lot in common.
Check it out.
An Oculus Rift, Beats headphones, and Air Max 95s.
Just like me.
She might be your soulmate.
So what's your play, playa? - Put on a fresh button-down - Mm-hmm.
a little smell-good - Yeah.
- then drop those words on her.
What kind of words? I was thinking the emoji with heart eyes.
Emojis aren't words, son.
It's a good thing you're married, Dad.
The game has left you behind.
That one hurt.
Why are you so excited? Oh, let me guess.
You didn't pee in the bed last night.
You can't prove it was pee.
I got put back into the fourth grade.
And you're happy about that? It was great! For once, I was one of the tallest in the class, I knew the answer to every question, and my teacher loves me.
You got lucky.
College athletes hold themselves back all the time.
It's called "red-shirting.
" It gives you a year to get better, faster, stronger, and Yes.
I'll red-shirt myself this year and come into fifth grade next year better, faster, stronger.
You might want to think about red-shirting two years.
I think I peed again.
Much better, young lady.
Much better.
This is an example of what you kids should aspire to.
The outfit is supposed to be ironic.
I'm making a statement.
And what a positive statement it is.
Dismissed! Hut! Hup! Everybody back.
I am Coach Wilson.
The rules of detention are simple.
Books open, mouths closed.
Coach, aren't you the owner of a blue 1997 Ford Taurus with a broken headlight and duct tape on the hood? [ALL LAUGH.]
I drive a Mustang.
Way cooler than a Taurus.
Ha ha.
- [GLASS.]
Okay, thanks.
It's not Coach's.
Tow it! I gotta hit the ladies' room.
Be right back.
I'm Floyd.
That's Marty and Tank.
- What y'all in for? - Jade.
Dress-code violation.
- Us too.
- What are you in for? I got caught smoking in the boys' room, Marty cheated on a test, and Tank here Tank's in for pushing a kid down the hill in a Port-a-Potty.
- Serious? - Gross.
Tank's got some issues.
I wouldn't make direct eye contact, if I were you.
So, you guys are doing hard time for real crimes, and we're in detention because of our clothes? Did you see there are three pages of rules telling us what we can and can't wear? And it seems to only affect the girls.
All you guys have to do is basically not show your butt cracks.
It's just not fair.
What's the big deal? Nobody cares what guys are wearing.
And that's the problem.
Look at Tank.
Not in the eyes, though.
He can show his shoulders.
Marty's shorts are form-fitting, and they aren't touching his knees.
Mm, neither has lotion.
It's a complete double standard.
These are our bodies.
Yeah, and it should be our choice what we put on them.
Our bodies, our choice.
You know that slogan's taken, right? I can show my shoulders if I want to.
- [ALL.]
- That's right.
I could show my shape.
- Ooh.
- [FLOYD.]
Girl, I'm with you.
I can show my legs.
Yeah! Look away.
Ladies, it's time for us to take a stand.
Sit down! We'll stand up when the bell rings.
Hey All right, Shaka, you got this.
- Hey.
Brooke, I'm Shaka.
- Hi, Shaka.
I think this belongs to you.
You stole my backpack.
I found it.
Everything's still here.
Well, I see we both like Air Max 95s and Oculus Rifts You went through my stuff? I was just trying to see who it belonged to.
It's not like I had your number.
But we could change all that now.
You're just trying to get my number.
So, did I succeed? Did I give it to you? Oh.
Well, see you around.
762-555 We're not gonna take it We're not gonna take it No rules, no rules, no rules, no rules We're not gonna take it We're not gonna take it We're not gonna take it We're not gonna take it We're not gonna take it We're not gonna take it No rules, no rules, no rules, no rules What is the meaning of this stunt? We're standing up for ourselves.
Well, good for you.
Now you can do it at home, because you guys are all suspended for three days! Dismissed! Hoo.
Yep - Hey - Hey Let's go before you're late.
Lee says kids can't be late.
It's parents who make us late.
No Christmas card for Mr.
Uh, why are you dressed? Did Principal Glass reverse his suspension? No, but I'm going, anyway.
I'm fighting the school's policy.
I went on social media and organized a protest.
All this over a dress code? If you want to make waves, why don't you join the swim team? I don't want to make waves.
Then fall in line and follow the rules.
They're there for a reason.
To keep women in their place.
Well, the last time I checked, you're not a woman, you're a little girl, and all of this dress-code issue is not that important.
Just because it's not important to you doesn't mean it's not important.
Cocoa, talk to your child.
I will.
Jade, I am so proud of you.
Ha ha.
You've got my full support.
Oh, thanks, Mom.
I'm gonna go grab my signs.
That's my daughter.
Well, don't you worry, 'cause I'm sure not claiming her.
Ah-ah Get down Uh, how long is this protest gonna last? I got a 2:00 appointment.
Honey, playing golf with the boys is not an appointment.
Babe, do you see this? Go ahead, Mazzi.
Fourth-grade Star of the Week.
Moz, Mazzi is in the fifth grade.
I knew that.
It's Ami who's in the Third grade.
- Do you know anything? - Know I'm not gonna play golf today.
- Are you whining? - [WHINES.]
My star.
You got another perfect score.
I love fourth grade so much.
Excuse me.
I'm Moses McKellan, Mazzi's dad.
Oh! It's so nice to meet the father of such an outstanding student.
Can I speak with my fourth-grader, please? - Boy.
- Stranger danger? Mazzi, you're so funny.
Ha ha.
Yeah, he's a regular Kevin Hart.
Dad, what are you doing here? What are you doing here? Red-shirting so I can go to fifth grade next year better, faster, stronger.
What? You know how things were last year.
I was a "C" student.
In this class, I'm a superstar.
So you decided to cheat? Who's cheating? They put me in this class.
You're cheating yourself.
Last year may not have been a banner year, but you earned the right to go to fifth grade.
But it's gonna be so hard.
Maybe, but it's the only way to challenge yourself and truly get better, faster, stronger.
But she gives us candy in class! And I think her husband offers a discounted dental plan.
How much of a discount? Never mind.
Mazzi, this is serious.
- I guess you're right.
- I know I am.
There's no shortcuts in life.
Now go get your stuff.
I could still make my appointment.
Moz? Like I said, son, there are no shortcuts in life.
Jesus, ooh Jesus [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Oh! [RING.]
Hello? - [RING RING.]
- This fool thing! Oh, it's this one.
Hello? Maybelle.
Slow down! Jade's protest is on the news? Oh, well, don't act so smug.
At least I have grandbabies.
No, no, no, you started this.
You know something, I'm hanging up first.
I am hanging up.
Yes, I - [HANGS UP.]
- Oh, no, she didn't hang up on me.
Maybelle? [CACKLES.]
I got her back! Ooh, Jesus, let me get out of here.
Jesus Fight! Fight! Fight to make the dress code right! Fight! Fight! Fight to make the dress code right! Fight! Fight! Fight to make the dress code right! Fight! Fight! - [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
- Ooh, nice calves.
I never skip leg day.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, young lady.
Excuse me, young 'un.
For the last time, if you don't disperse, I'm calling the National Guard.
Girl power! [ALL CHEERING.]
Your grandbaby is making a difference.
No, she's making me late for bingo.
- Hello, Dana.
- Dana? [LAUGHS.]
I hope you're here to talk some sense into your granddaughter.
These kids should be in class learning and not protesting rules that have been in effect for decades.
Let me talk to her.
Get down here.
M'Dear, you're the one who told me how you took three different buses to get to Selma to protest with Dr.
You were only 15, but you said you had to march so that future generations would be able to eat at the same lunch counters and drink from the same water fountains as white kids.
But, baby, that was different.
I was marching for civil rights.
You're marching for spaghetti straps.
You were fighting for equality so that your children and your grandchildren would always be treated fairly under the law.
Whether it's a lunch counter or a dress code, the rules should apply to everyone or no one.
Hand over that megaphone, young lady.
Thank God you're putting an end to this nonsense.
I stand with Jade! [CHEERING.]
How can you support this? I don't have to agree with what my granddaughter is protesting to support her right to do it.
But the rules Can change.
There was a time when women were not allowed to show their ankles.
Nobody blinks now.
And let me tell you, I don't see anything wrong with showing a little, ahh, shoulder.
Principal Glass, all we're asking is for you and the school board to consider reforming the dress code to make it equitable.
Hee-hee, ho-ho, dress suppression has got to go! Hee-hee, ho-ho, dress suppression has got to [BLOWS WHISTLE.]
Fine, fine, fine, fine.
We will discuss this dress code at the next school-board meeting.
And what about the suspensions? Consider them reversed.
Good job.
See? I told you things here would work out.
Since I was right, I think I should be able to - Nope.
- Okay.
They got the same taste in dresses.
I don't care if that girl is dumb as a brick, she's cute.
Come on.
So, pretty amazing, right? Great job, Jade.
Nice to see you're waking up.
Wanna hang out after school? I only hang out with the fully woke.
One protest doesn't make you Angela Davis.
Well, the joke's on her.
'Cause I don't even know who that is.
Ha ha ha.