child development, family conflict, family time, health, momblog, Relationships

Guilt-Free Parenting: Why You Need Self-Care the Most

I’ve talked to a number of parents and surprisingly, many of us actually feel guilty when we spend a little time at the salon, at the shopping mall, and in other places of interest! Why? That’s because of the prevailing mentality that parents shall be forever tied to their kids to prove that they are performing their duties well!

Parenting is a tough job in itself and we shouldn’t make it more difficult by creating imaginary and unnecessary pressure to meet the unrealistic expectations of other people. To make you feel less guilty about self-care, let me prove some points:

1. The way you feel as a human being has a consequential effect on the way you act as a parent.


Was there ever a time when you unintentionally blurted out a negative word to your child or shouted at her just because you were so stressed from all the household chores or frustrated from work?

Millions of people across the globe would come to a point when the relationship with their children would get affected by the difficult circumstances of their career and personal lives.

Don’t wait for the time when your emotional bucket overflows with negativity. Rescue your soul from tiredness. Save yourself and your children from regretful situations that you may never take back.

2. Depression and anxiety are increasing at alarming levels among parents.

Generally, parents are regarded as heroes and strong figures in the eyes of their children. Although that could be true, we still cannot disregard the fact that a lot of parents today are facing anxiety and depression from unmet goals, unrealized desires, insecurities, and so much more.


The feeling of emptiness among parents is even furthered by their lack of opportunities to explore their own source of personal fulfillment. Many are trapped in the notion that once you become a parent, your world must now only revolve around your child.

3. Happiness is contagious. Where will your child’s happiness come from when you are void of it?

sebastian-leon-prado-dBiIcdxMWfE-unsplashWe all want to have happy children. We want them to grow up with the ability to smile despite life’s struggles. We’d like them to see laughing yet also learning from their mistakes. We want them to take the world easily yet also with full responsibility.

Such a predisposition in life can only be attained when they have the right influences. And who can most easily affect the way that children think but their parents, right?

4. Self-care is a right, never just a privilege. You do not lose this right by virtue of being a parent. Never!

Whoever said that you lose your right to self-care when you became a parent? Yes, you were given the responsibility to raise little souls but that does not mean that your basic right to experience personal happiness from your own hobbies, leisure activities, and other stuff would consequentially be removed from you.


Remember, you can and you must still take care of yourself and allow yourself some fun even when you are now a parent. Take a few hours off in a week to go to your favorite place, visit your friends, or have some me-time in a coffee shop. Don’t be afraid to ask help from your spouse or your extended family. Allow them to help you in raising your child so that you can also have the time to take care of yourself.

how to be the most loving parent the smart way


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child development, family conflict, momblog, Relationships

The Hows of Positive Parenting: Proven Tips to Raise Happy & Successful Children (Part 2)

Do you still remember the first 4 hows of positive parenting that we have discussed in the previous post? Let me recount them:

  1. Manage behaviour with Clarity
  2. Implement Rules with Transition
  3. Frame your Instructions in a Positive Manner
  4. Work on Your Own Mood and Transform Your Perspectives

Now, let us look into three more tips that can help you raise happy and successful children through positive parenting:

5. Validate their Feelings and Empathize with their Emotions

Is your child afraid because of the spider? Is she annoyed because of her sibling’s mischievous actions? Do not discount her emotions. Do not undermine how she feels by saying that it’s nothing or it’s not correct to feel a certain way.

We must all acknowledge the fact that all humans can become disappointed, frustrated, sad, lonely, and angry at times. Even though we are pushing for positive parenting, we cannot remain blinded by the truth that negativities can happen anytime most especially during the most unexpected times.


When your child shows signs of anger or sadness, validate her feelings and empathize with her emotions. You can do this by uttering the following expressions, “I understand that you are sad (or mad) because of what happened. I know the feeling and it’s totally okay to feel that way. Come, let me embrace you.” Then after a few minutes of empathizing, it is now your turn to transform the negative into positive. Encourage your child to forgive and understand other people and her environment. Teach her to move forward from negative emotions.

6. Interact with the Same Level Physically

Mom and daughter talking about travel in the cityNot until when your child reaches a certain age, you would surely still be taller than her, right? But do you know that this physical gap between parents and children can contribute to misunderstanding and feelings of aloofness? In order to address this, you can actually make adjustments.

Physically, you can make sure that you are always talking at the same level as your child. Let your eyes meet hers whenever you discuss something. This will fortify the impression that you are sincere with your child. Even the very act of lowering yourself to her level shows humility and compassion and can even encourage more openness and acceptance on your child’s part.

7. Let Self-Expression Be Free Yet Proper

Your child is bored from your lunch meeting with friends then she suddenly cries really loud. Your daughter screams during your church’s afternoon service because she hasn’t had her nap during the day. Your son throws a tantrum at the mall because you didn’t buy him a toy.

Sounds all too familiar? Don’t worry, you are not alone. These kinds of circumstances are normal in almost all families in the world. That’s particularly because our children are children! They haven’t developed maturely yet. They don’t even have enough capabilities to control their emotions.


As a parent, it is your duty to respect the way that they vent out their emotions. And it is also your responsibility to teach them the proper ways of managing them. First, look into the reason why they suddenly reacted in a certain way and resolve that. Second, create a diversion so they could move from the negative behavior to a more acceptable one. Third, talk to them calmly and clearly explain how they should behave the next time. Do not worry that your child won’t understand you because of her age. Just do the talking, and she surely has her own way of figuring out what you intend to tell her.

Positive parenting is a complex approach. It is not as simple as giving you a few commandments or guidelines to follow. So don’t be surprised if we will still have a third part for this topic. I know that you are eager for more tips.

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child development, Child's Education, family conflict, momblog, Relationships

Harnessing the Positive and Taming the Negative on Strong-Willed Children




1. Give Options Instead of Directives.


Pretty Hispanic teacher works with cute little preschooler


2. Let Her Claim Authority Over Her Own Body.




3. Establish Rules and Routines.


4. Have a Strong Personal Connection Founded on Respect.



how to be the most loving parent the smart way


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child development, family conflict, momblog, Relationships

6 Easy Methods for Preventing and Controlling Tantrums



1. Let your child have a positive emotional foundation



2. Do not be triggered by your child’s behavior.


3. Be able to understand where he is coming from.



4. Give him the space to vent out.


5. Be creative – offer other objects of interest.





how to be the most loving parent the smart way


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child development, family conflict, family time, momblog, Relationships

The Six Best Tips to Prevent Shouting at Your Kids






1. Identify what triggers your shouting.


2. Make your commands doable and easily understandable.


3. Offer warning signs to generate teamwork.

"I'm sorry Dad!"


4. Set realistic standards.


5. Reflect on your day and your life.



6. Practice. Practice. Practice.



the quicker_ better way to get your child potty trained



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