Friday, 29 January 2010

Friday fun: Is it ever right??

For the final part of this debate series I thought I'd have some fun and ask, is it ever right?

1. To tell a curly that her hair looks terrible?
I do think it is quite mean spirited to walk up to people on the street and give hair advice, however, I think that it is a different case when people place pictures up and ask for comments. I rarely if ever see a negative critique of any natural or curly hair pictures.

One album that I stumbled upon yesterday had a couple of pics which were actually seriously bad (bad styling, terrible really). The lady in the picture looked like she was going to cry and was highly critical of the style but other naturals rallied around to say the pictures weren't bad and they would even have the style themselves (No you wouldn't, liars!!). I think it is natural to want to raise someone's spirits but I really don't think it is right to tell a blatant lie. What if this woman did this style again, she looked a mess and knew it, why lie to her? I think something negative can be said with kindness or is this not possible?

2. To buy a new conditioner out of boredom?
I am toying around with the idea of buying some cholesterol because Moni, one of the regular commenters, mentioned that she uses it with very long lasting results. I'm also thinking about the garnier fructis line because I saw this on another blog (helen chambers I think). I do like the herbal essences line but I'm ready to try something new, I guess I can always go back or is this just the beginning of the descent into pjism??

3. To reprimand people you don't know?
I hate, yes I said hate, people who put weaves on babies! I hateeeeeee it so much. I have seen it now three times in one week and what annoyed me is that one of those little girls was still in diapers. I sometimes really wonder what goes on in the mind of a mother of a one year old who thinks the child should have waistlength straight hair. Seriously one year is not long enough to have grown that much hair?! I cannot imagine the future complexes this child will develop. Anyway unfortunately I am too conservative to scream at people I don't know but sometimes I wish I could.

Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions?


  1. hmm i dont believe i ever asked myself these questions but none the less they are very thought provoking!

  2. I've asked myself some of those questions, particularly the conditioner question (oh, how I love conditioner). The question I ask myself most is "Should I offer some resources to this person who looks like are struggling with hair." Most often, the answer is no.

    BTW, we tried the Garnier Fructis line a long, long time ago and didn't have any luck with it. If you do try it, please share your thoughts!

  3. 1. There's nothing wrong with constructive criticism.

    2. If your budget allows it, I say go for it!

    3. This is deplorable, and I can't believe the practice is spreading! As the mother of a two year old, I've only seen one kid in her playgroup under the age of 3 wear extensions, and I said something to her mother about the long-lasting effects of such a style. I was polite, focused on the facts, and provided an alternative. Someone has to stand up for the children!

  4. Lol. I have asked myself some of these questions. The weave on babies, dead azz wrong. I reprimand the mothers in my head. What possible reason would you do that?! Like you said, many are so young it's not even possible for them to have super long hair.

    And about the bad styling one, yeah, I've seen that before. You can give uplifting and constructive criticism without just outright lying and saying someone's hair looks fab when it doesn't just to make someone feel better. When I see pics like that, I either don't leave a comment at all or I'll say, "I know a way you could make that style look even hotter! Try yadda yadda..."

  5. 1. Yes. We are not immune to bad hair days.
    2. I'm guilty but it's like eating out of boredom. It's not healthy but people do it all the time.
    3. I feel you and got your back on this one. Baby weave is just wrong. My mom always says to be careful tho, people are crazy these days and like to shoot. But if you feel the need, let em have it. Respectfully of course!

  6. 1. Hmm, I think it's definitely possible to offer constructive criticism. However, when it comes to other people's hair, I usually follow "if you don't have anything nice to day, don't say anything at all", even if they ask (or they're family!). I definitely wouldn't tell someone that their hair looks great if I think it looks terrible!

    2. I think it's ok to buy a new conditioner, even if you don't strictly need it, if you do so in moderation. You know your product supply best, as well as your pj tendencies, but I think it's ok to treat yourselves once and a while. I definitely vouch for the Lustrasilk Shea Butter and Mango cholesterol. I've tried others that weren't nearly as good. I've even used it as a leave-in to do twists.

    3. I don't reprimand people I know, though sometimes I REALLY want to! I think weave/extensions shouldn't be applied to any children, or at least very rarely. Imo, all that heavy hair is a strain on their follicles, and it really does hurt my heart to see young girls with eaten up hairlines (not to mention the self-image issues).

  7. 1) If it looks bad and I'm ASKED for advice. I'll probably me honest.

    2) As a semi-pj, I refuse to answer this question :)

    3)I might give them "a look" but I don't think I'd say anything. I wish I was rich enough to give everyone who does that a book on natural hair care though. If you're in DIAPERS you don't need a weave/realxer!

  8. I've never seen a baby with weave, at least not vis a vis. I know I wouldn't say anything though. People tend to be hypersensitive about their children and even though a comment might be coming from a good place, that origin could be misinterpreted and the listener could become offended and I abhor public scenes.

  9. I really don't know why these people put their babies in weaves. I think my worry with approaching the parent is that the child will be present. I definitely think that if the child walked away with a relative I would have words with the mother. I doubt she would be pleased but seriously! Sometimes I think I should print out some cards with child friendly hair blogs and hand it to these women.

  10. 1 I agree with Milan. I would say something encouraging, then throw in a suggestion. That or just KIM

    2 Absolutely nothing wrong!

    3 Girl you must be trying to get shanked! lol You don not tell another woman how to raise her children...especially a woman of color. I would just say a silent prayer and, again, KIM

  11. lol nappy headed black girl! I have thought about that possiblity since I'm in UK which has a problem with knife crime.

