Thursday, 16 August 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: I'm going to knock love into you

I just watched the live feed from last night; I enjoyed Julian and Lorenzo's chat. So Lorenzo isn't REALLY a prince. I liked the convo about civil partnerships. That's the sort of Big Brother I want, not all this BS about tasks.
OK so Harvey held a knife to his girlfriend's throat. Do they just let ANYONE in that house these days? They'll probably give him a knighthood.
So is there an eviction tomorrow? That's what I wanna know.
My boyfriend just said 'what is The Situation? Is there a specific situation he was involved in to get than name?' Anyone know?
Just noticed Bet Lynch's leggings from yesterday. I'd wear them. I don't mind her hair either. She's like Courtney Love's mum.
Oh God, I can't sit through this ear piece tyranny again. We're having to sit through loads of this crap again. It's always the way. Why pander to the people who didn't watch yesterday? Fuck 'em.
'I didn't recognise you without your balaclava on.' to Heather. Nice one.
'What's your function? I'll try and use short words.' Rude! Don't treat The Situation like that. He's The Situation. I want to be called 'The' something.
Did you see Sit's face when Rhian walked down the stairs? His eyes were out on stalks like . She seems quite lovely. I hate Tess Daly and Vernon Kay anyway. The way he goes on, he sounds like a pathetic teenager bragging about sex to his gormless mates.
The Situation has action man eyes, sliding from side to side. Sit put his hood up when Harvey walked in. Territorial pissings. He's not interested in anyone who's not DTF. Samantha Brick has a face like a weasel. I'll give her a chance, though. Hev's eviction song: Lonely Goatherd.
Sit's eyes are working overtime; I've not seen such eyeball rotation since John James/ Britney off BB USA.
My boyfriend just called this respected Olympian 'who-do'. Does that joke work written down? Er... no.
I can't quite quite get over how much Jasmine Leonard's face has changed since Make Me a Supermodel. My boyfriend thinks she's 40 years old. She's 5 years younger than me.
That faux row was so silly. 'Don't talk shite!' was quite convincing, though. It was quite good that Hev can make herself cry on cue.
I wish Jasmine would take that gold jacket off. She looks like a gameshow host. Did she just say to Hev 'don't cry, you look beautiful'? You'd swap, then, would you? 'I got your back.' Sweet, US speak! Coleen is also in the gold jacket alliance. The flammable fabrics alliance.
Bet would have been called to the DR for violence for chucking a drink over someone, dur. Does Sit know what hotpot is?
Jasmine: 'don't trust those two bitches.' They were on a task!
Why does Jasmine keep telling everyone she's known for her bad behaviour?! That's not a way to get people on side. Hold on, I'm a Gemini, what are you fucking saying?! Fuck off talking about starsigns. If anyone started talking about starsigns to me I'd punch them in the face. Grow up. They'll be talking about fucking crystals next.
Steve Owen to Sit: 'I would' about the laydeez.
Bet using a cigarette holder: cool. I thought that was just her character's affectation. Almost worth the lung cancer just to look that badass.
Jasmine's gnashers are enormous. Sit is trying to find out who's got boyfriends. I like Lorenzo. I like quite a lot of them, actually.
Ashley speaks like a simpleton. Eh heh, check out Julian's pyjamas. They remind me of Michael Madsen's last year.
WTF is a 'screen munch'? Does she mean a 'screen dump'?  I like Jasmine stirring Rhian up to kick off.
I really like Danica's accent. The Situation: 'I love people who are genuine.' Is that his best pick up line?
Everyone I've spoken to today seems shocked Martin Kemp is in the house, and wondering if he's down on his luck. He obvs needs some more Gold. My boyfriend just said of Martin Kemp/ Steve Owen: 'Remember when he got off with his mum?'
I like the new cushions in the smoking area. Jasmine is doing therapy speak! All addicts together. Are they going to start going on about God? Heaven help us. Harvey needs a woman to sort him out! Oh dear. Sort yourself out, kiddo.
Jasmine does accept men's indiscretions! WTF. Why is she saying that on the first day? Uh oh, Harvey's after the bad girl.
I actually don't mind Bet Lynch so far, weirdly. Wish we could have seen more of the show tonight. Too much of last night rehashed. I think this is going to be a good series.

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