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..abt the boy..

Aidan threw a mega tantrum yesterday morning. We were both caught off-guard as it had been a while since he'd thrown such a fit.

It was in the morning, just before he was to leave for school. Hubby was driving him there and since I'm on leave (till Wed), I wasn't accompanying them. Was woken up by his cries and immediately went to see what the commotion was about. Aidan was in his room, clutching his precious box of crayons and pens, saying"I want writing test! I want writing test!" (testing of alphabets and numbers - it's a term coined by his grandpa) . Both Hubby and Nenita were attempting to get Aidan to stop doodling but he simply refused. Started to whine initially and it then turned into a full blown tantrum as he began to weep woefully, his face all scrunched up ,tears and mucus flowing non-stop and arms flailing about wildly. Our tries to convince him that he could do his 'test' later when he comes back from school were unsuccessful and when we tried to carry him out of the room, he'll block our attempts by warding us off with his hands and refusing to budge. Lost my patience and grabbed hold of the box of crayons, placed them out of his reach and forcefully carried him to the living room. That made him angrier and he cried even harder..

Hubby, who was running late was getting quite pissed too. Told him to leave without Aidan but before he did that, he held Aidan by his shoulders, looked at him sternly and scolded him after which he chucked Aidan's schoolbag on the floor and left in a huff..Never saw hubby that angry at the boy before..It then dawned on Aidan what had happened and that his dad has left without him. He became distraught, quickly grabbed his haversack, placed it over his shoulders on his own, ran towards the door and started pounding on it crying out "daddy..daddy..want to go school! go school!" ..."daddy daddy..come back!" Quite heart-breaking to see him like that. Called hubby up but by then, he was quite a distance away. The boy refused to be consoled and stayed rooted by the door, calling for daddy while crying so pitifully. I told him I would send him to school instead but that didn't stop his tears..Had no choice, simply left him to his own devices and let him cry it out for abt 15 minutes or so till his voice became hoarse. When i approached him later, he then snuggled up to me,still sobbing and calling for his dad..but much softer..Repeated to him again that I'll bring him to school and that quietened him down.

He was still subdued while in the cab as he laid his head on my chest, sniffing away. But as we arrived at his school, his demeanor changed instantly. He happily got off the cab but not without saying a chirpy "goodbye and see you" to the cab driver..ran towards the school and started greeting the teachers and his classmates. It was like he'd forgotten all that had happened earlier on...*argh*

Later that afternoon, when he came back from school, I tried to explain to him why his earlier behavior wasn't acceptable but he refused to look me in the eye..But he did say sorry a while later. He does apologize when he realises that we are angry (and when he isnt)..

We've not used our hands on him nor do we cane him at all. So far, he hasn' really been punished (think we are considered quite lax with him) but then again, he has not really been *that* naughty. Am still not sure what we should do to instill some kinda discipline. We're not really comfortable with smacking or caning him mainly because we don't want him to learn from example as we may be sending a message that hitting is a reasonable solution to problems. You never know how a child's mind works and I've heard from some moms that it had happened to their kids. Reasoning with him doesn't seem to help though. He's been using his tears to try to get what he wants. Nenita told us that it was how he made his grandparents give in to him all the time..and they sorta spoil him. I guess most grandparents do tend to pamper their grandchildren quite a bit so I don't blame them but I guess at this age when Aidan is testing his boundaries, we have to make sure he learns that he shouldn't be using tears and tantrums to get his way. Next time he does it again, we'll try our best to ignore him and let him cry it out. He has to learn that a throwing a fit doesnt mean we'll pay attention and give in to him..Gotta try to harden our hearts and bear with his cries..But we also have to remember not to lose our cool or over-react..

Man..being a parent isn't easy and it's an on-going learning experience..I know we're still quite fortunate that Aidan doesnt go into his tantrum mode often (hope I don't jinx it by saying this). The last major one was in May which I'd written about here..That's probably why we are kinda gabra when it does happen :P. I've instructed Nenita to hide his box of crayons in the mornings so that he won't clamour for his 'writing tests'. ..It was all peace & quiet today.

Hope Aidan's enthusiasm for tests doesn't wane when he grows older :P

Aidan requesting for 'writing test' *again*

a moment with his granddad this afternoon..

Oh..we finally weaned Aidan off the pacifier.. at the grand ol' age of 2 years 9 months! People told me that it usually takes abt 2-3 days for them to wean off completely. He took longer..abt a week plus! He would whine/cry himself to sleep because we refused to give him his "choo choo"..But fortunately, he has since accepted the fact that he won't be seeing his pacifier ever again and is able to sleep without it..

His 'collection' of pacifiers..~
Wonder what he'll do if he sees this pacifier tree now :)

from ramblinglibrarian's blog

Just wanna share this with all the moms out there..This was in the Aug issue of Young Parents under Mailbox and submitted by Kathie Davis..Just a reminder that our li' ones won't always remain as 'babies' and that their childhood period would soon be just a fond memory to us. We should treasure as much time we have now with them, when they still enjoy our cuddles and hugs.

I was sitting on a bench
while in a nearby mall
when I noticed a young mother
with two children who were small

The youngest one was whining
"Pick me up" I heard him beg
but the mother's face grew angry
as the child clung to her leg

"Don't hang on me" she shouted
as she pushed his hands away
I wish I'd the courage to go up to
her and say...

The time will come too quickly
when those little arms that tug
won't ask for you to hold them
and won't freely give you a hug

The day will sneak up subtly
just as it did with me
when you can't recall the last time
that your child sat on your knee

Like those sacred, pre-dawn feelings
when we cherished time alone,
our babies grow and leave behind
those special times we've known

So when your child comes to you
with a book that you can share
or asks that you would tuck him in
and help him say his prayer

When he comes to sit and chat
or would like to take a walk
before you answer you can't
'cause there's no time to talk

Remember when all parents learn
so many times too late
that years go by quickly
and that childhood doesn't wait

I watched the mother walk away
her children followed near
I hope she'll pick them up
before her chances disappear

Seize other opportunities
if one should slip away
reach hard to get it back
don't wait another day.

from Kathie Davis, Aug issue Young Parents -Mailbox, Page 128

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Aug. 30th, 2005 08:11 am (UTC)
aiyo, the calling out for daddy part at the door so 'ke lian'.

Parenting is definitely an ongoing learning process, we can only stumble along and learn. Each child is different so something that works on other children might not be best for our own. We would be the best person to judge and decide what kind of approach will be most effective and best for our kids.
Aug. 30th, 2005 09:32 am (UTC)
I totally agree with you. As parents, we are the best person to judge and decide on the most effective approach for our kids. Does having no. 2 makes it any easier for you?
Aug. 30th, 2005 09:44 am (UTC)
easier in the sense that we're not so 'karang kabut' when she launches into one of the crying fits. But Kim is very different from Charlene so I'm still trying to find the most effective approach for her.
Aug. 30th, 2005 11:01 am (UTC)
Yeah i guess as much in a way as each child's temperament is different so the experience would be so too. But heh..less gancheong im sure!

And Kimberly is such a smiley kiddo..!