Escalation - Public Masturbation

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Darwin Kemper, Jan 13, 2019.

  1. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Having issues with extreme sexual behavior at my local gym. Started off with casual playing with myself in the shower (curtain closed), then moved to masturbating to completion in the sauna (only did it when nobody else with me so had to stop and hide erection when someone would come in), next there is a small pool in the gym that when I am alone (still people in other pool and jacuzzi in big room) I push off under water and it pulls my bathing suit down from the force (usually just exposing myself a little but other day my suit was hanging from my toes, instantly became fully erect) and most recently in the jacuzzi, the force of water jets starts to pull my bathing suit off, but this time I let the jets linger and I had an intense orgasm without touching myself - totally didn't expect it - never done that before.

    I just came to my senses after a week long sex/porn binge. Hoping to reflect on my behavior and see if I can't come up with some strategy to handle intense impulses when they come back. Any help would be appreciated.
  2. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

    Cutting out porn completely would be a nice first step.
    NatureGirl7, Enwar, RobbyGo36 and 7 others like this.
  3. solder90

    solder90 New Fapstronaut

    As mattew said cutting porn is a nice start. You can also start practicing mindfulness techniques to observe yourself and your thoughts process in general as these urges start to sneak in to your mind from time to time. You will then develop a control to observe them and let them go instead of acting on them immediately.
  4. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Normal behavior is I am at the pool and I might see one extremely attractive girl and get aroused, distract myself, go back to working out.
    When I am consuming lots of porn - EVERY girl is sexualized. I am looking for every accidental nipple slip, focusing on every detail - hyper aroused all the time. Hard to control impulses when they come from everywhere.
    marr708, Jwarrior77, Enwar and 6 others like this.
  5. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

    I feel bad for the people who got in the jacuzzi after you!

    You obviously have a fetish for being caught naked in public. The thrill turns you on. It’s fairly common I think, lots of people feel turned on by having sexual in public as the risk of being cause heightens Their orgasm.

    You of course run the risk of actually getting caught and getting in trouble. You may also expose someone to something they don’t want to see.
  6. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    I do feel bad. Having an orgasm was totally unexpected. I would like to think I have willpower not to do it again knowing the outcome. Now I wonder if others are doing this as well and I was the poor soul getting covered in someone else's 'evidence' in the past.
    Rebooter45674, +TenPercent and shen like this.
  7. shen

    shen Fapstronaut

    Gosh I am sure glad I don't go to your gym.

    Glad to see you trying to address this. Who knows how many people do this at public gyms and don't even seek to get support.

    Edit: I mean I don't go to any gym, yet still workout intensely outdoors and at home, so not just yours I mean screw the gym.
    Rebooter45674 and dukesoup like this.
  8. shen

    shen Fapstronaut

    Actually niche workout and training facilities might be a safe option. Ones that don't really have all the excess amenities that a spa might.
  9. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Right now I am trying to at least wear a towel in the sauna instead of just sitting on one. Less likely to lose control if I am not completely naked. Now I just need to start tightening the string on my bathing suit so it can't come off 'accidentally'
    Decerebrate and +TenPercent like this.
  10. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Good idea. I will look into that. Working out was one of my solutions to find better balance in my life so I would masturbate less - Of course I sexualized the act of going to the gym almost instantly
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. N05A9

    N05A9 Fapstronaut

    You need to stay away from things that are going to trigger you. Maybe stay out of the jacuzzi or sauna completely if you have an urge to M. Or, wear a pair of tight briefs under your swim suit so your junk doesn't float around in the water and start the cycle.
  12. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

    Just wear tight briefs without your shorts! Go on be brave!
  13. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    I completely relate, on more levels than I would like to admit . . . but I had almost the same jacuzzi experience after 63 days once. :oops:

    I'm much better at the moment. But I also know all too well that I could fall into a similar cycle at any time and my last round of compulsive risky behaviour was at work rather than at the gym.

    Lots of good advice here already. Stopping porn would be a great first step. Stopping masturbation and fantasy would be much better.
    Play the scenario out to the end - not the one where some hot girl sees you and it's awesome, but the one where you get caught and it's totally not cool, perhaps you get thrown out of the gym. And, it's entirely possible that someone might see you and rather than go to the front desk, they just straight up call the police.
    And then keep playing that scenario out - how might it affect your personal life? Your job? This is no longer fun to fantasise about, is it?

    Lastly, think about going to the gym but taking a break from all of your aquatic activities. It's possible. I do a little cardio to warm up, lift weights and leave. Shower at home.

    Best of luck to you and keep posting to keep yourself accountable!
  14. Clarke

    Clarke Fapstronaut

    There's no secret technique. Just stop being a degenerate.
    Rebooter45674, CH3RRY and Hoots like this.
  15. lif3

    lif3 Fapstronaut

    Those jet hot tubs and jacuzzis in the gym are insane. I had the same problem (though I never thought about masturbating in there). The water jet is stimulating. Plus, my gym's recreation & relaxation area is co-ed and theres always women in there in bikinis.

    I get dizzy and numb if I'm in there for more than 15 mins, but I've stayed in it up to an hour because I have an erection underwater and afraid to expose it when I stand.

    My solution was to never step foot in it again.
  16. johndoe117

    johndoe117 Fapstronaut

    OP, great post. You mentioned the Week long binge, this is something we don't discuss anywhere near enough. Once in that state you are doing the most damage to yourself. I just broke out of one this week and am hitting my life like it's a warzone, and I suggest you do too.

    The issue of exposure is preexisting to internet porn. It's seen when a man doesn't feel seen by women, not having a woman in your life, or a distant or overly sexualized mother. Of course we're fighting something new, because internet porn makes everything exhaustively sexualized.

    Great that you're still going to the gym, I'd suggest high intensity cardio until you're puking. Actually, I want you to literally vomit. Once your adrenaline is so high that you trigger a fight or flight response, your body dumps all unneeded weight to get ready to run or fight for your life. A creature that's fighting for it's life is not going to be controlled by sexual deviancy.

    Internet Porn of our generation, and believe me I know Porn, it is MUCH more than just video's of people having intercourse, I understand the demon. It is hijacking your endocrine system, daily, and as you said in a week long binge, it's hijacking your brain non stop for a week. You need to fight fire with fire, and bar no holds, run till you puke, eat till you shit sideways, punch a wall if you need to. We won't beat this with out a massive life overhaul and endocrine reboot.

    Keep fighting.
  17. Hoots

    Hoots Fapstronaut

    You made me laugh with this, not everyone is as easy going as me though. Be careful you don't end up in your local newspaper as if they catch you once they may review older footage of you and make a compilation.
  18. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

    The place sounds amazing!
  19. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Excellent point. Hadn't thought of that at all. I am pretty sure they don't have cameras in the sauna which is where I am most deviant. I am going to stay away for while. Yesterday I was in there (covered) and the smells and sounds had a pavlov effect causing me to have a total relapse on day 005.
    There was some good advice on just staying away from the water part of the gym(pool, jacuzzi, shower) and concentrate on intense workout.
  20. Darwin Kemper

    Darwin Kemper Fapstronaut

    Good luck with that. I have had some experiences acting out at work too. At the gym I am in a state of arousal from being around beautiful women in states of undress but at work it always seem more pervy. My worst behavior is looking at porn at work when there are people in the room (they can't see my computer screen). I would meticulously check to see if I had any shiny surfaces that could catch a reflection and move things around to block line of site.

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