Friday, September 11, 2009


In some parts of the country Fall is marked by the changing of the leaves, the cool air slowly creeping in, the first day of school, a change in wardrobe....

But around these parts, blazing heat, red level fire watch, and FOOTBALL, mark the beginning of Fall. It's funny to me that the absolute HOTTEST time of year in San Diego can be experienced in the Fall.

When tourists arrive in June I can only imagine their disappointment as they try to experience all San Diego has to offer, in the rain. And often times they end up buying themselves a whole new wardrobe because all they thought to bring in their carry-on bags were their bathing suit covers and bikinis.

This morning our family went walking on the beach with some friends and for some odd reason I had put on jeans before we left the house. I was sweating bullets by the time we got back to the car. It was so hot that even the air conditioning set on the highest level felt like a person desperately trying to blow on me in an attempt to cool me off.

But despite the fact that the weather here in San Diego does not appeal to the senses in the same way that those folks back east and in the midwest might be experiencing right now, there is still change in the air. A new season is definitely upon us... that is upon me and my little family. We have friends going off to college for the first time, friends that are newly engaged. My older brother's ordination reception is a few short weeks away, and our treasures are (hopefully) going to start dance class and soccer for the first time ever.

And in the midst of all the good, every season has it's heartaches. We have some folks in our lives that are very, very, very dear to us, that are ending their commitments to one another and starting over alone. Another family member that has been MIA for some time now called yesterday and somehow thinks that he's just going to jump right back in where he left off. And just when I thought that I was beginning to understand grace, I hung up the phone with that person and felt like i've never even heard of the word grace, better yet had an understanding of how to administer that grace to someone such as himself. (I am so human sometimes that I can hardly stand it.)

Change is inevitable though...

Sometimes it is short-lived. Poor little Reesie is a mess right now. She fell off her bike yesterday and has a huge raspberry on her forehead. I (being the wonderful mother that I am :) didn't change her diaper quick enough and now she has a horrendous rash on her bum. And to top it all off she is getting four teeth, so her nose is running and she has had a low-grade fever almost all week. The good news is that all these things are fleeting... her current ailments will last but for a moment. And the inconvenience of it all only effects her and no one else.

But other times change lasts what seems like forever. Sometimes the consequences of our choices roll out like dominos stacked on a table, and each and every person in our little world is touched in some way or another... whether that way be positive or negative.

There are changes going on in my little world right now that bless my socks off. My kids are growing, they're succeeding in new things, they are overcoming fears, they are learning new words, new skills, new tricks. They are experiencing deep deep love and they learning how to handle their pains in a healthy way. My Man and I are growing deeper into our commitment to one another. We are daily assuring one another through our words AND our actions that, with God's help, we are in this for the long haul.

(Many years ago when Joey and I were dating, we were in the mountains at the end of a week-long "break" that we had taken from one another (the only break we ever took, by the way). We spent hours that day talking about our relationship and our commitment to one another and what not. On the way back to the car Joey picked up two stones. With a black marker that he had in the car he wrote on each stone Committed For Life. We each took a stone home and put them next to our beds as a reminder of our commitment to one another. We have moved nine times since the day of our wedding. Each time we set up our new house I always love pulling those stones out of the box and carefully placing them on our designated sides of our bed. Every time I see that stone I whisper a prayer of thanks for my marriage and for the strength that the Lord has given me to stick with my commitment to my Joey. To HIM be all the glory!)

There are also changes going on in my little world that are hurting my heart more than I ever knew they would. I have been nauseous for days and not getting the best sleep. I have praying fervently and believing God for miracles, and in the same breath admitting my doubt and asking the Lord to help me with my unbelief. Most of the time I feel compassion towards these folks (whom I love so dearly). My heart breaks that their hearts are so broken that they are finding themselves in the position that they are in. But once in a while, I feel anger creep in. I just wish that there was no such thing as sin.

Change is in the air...

Some of it I love, and some of it I don't much care for at all...

But all of it is doable with the one who loves me perfectly.

And For that I am grateful.