

PMS Could Win You A Prize This week!

Let's be honest, we have all experienced the enormous power of PMS in getting men and small children to perform extraordinary feats (such as actually changing the toilet roll or hanging up wet bath towels). Which got me to thinking. What if we were to collectively harness PMS and use it to eradicate Rhino Poaching?


Now don't get me wrong, I am sure that posting gruesome pictures on Facebook of rhinos with their horns removed is FAR more effective than, say, actually doing anything about it, but bear with me for a few moments, okay?

Picture it - the Kruger National Park at 5am in the morning. A helicopter descends and three rhino poachers jump out into the dried grass, ready to chop off a rhino horn and fly off into the distance. When suddenly they come face-to-face with three deranged-looking hormonal women sporting enormous pimples on their chins, taser guns in the one hand and bars of chocolate in the other.

All hell breaks loose. The men fly into a panic as one woman grabs the nearest poacher and begins to scream at him for waking her up when she is JUST. SO. TIRED. Another tries desperately to scramble back into the helicopter as a sobbing woman drags him out again to talk about her feelings of being taken for granted and a lack of self-esteem that surely stems back to her tumultuous relationship with her mother. While yet another sits dumfounded as he is given the silent treatment by an evil-looking woman, calmly eating her fourth chocolate bar and just waiting for him to move a muscle. So she can kill him.

Then the police arrive and arrest the men, all weeping with gratitude that their lives have been spared. Newspaper reporters and TV cameras are next on the scene, trying desperately to be the first to break the story. (Sadly, their questions of "How do you feel, knowing you have saved the life of a rhino?" will most likely be met with "Piss off, arse-face! Do I LOOK like I want my photo taken? For ONCE IN MY LIFE could I just have FIVE MINUTES to myself without anyone WANTING something!) Erm, yes.

But on the whole, it's a brilliant plan! Women will be granted 5 days leave a month when they will be flown to the Kruger Park - all expenses paid - to help eradicate poaching. Their families get to live PMS-free, safe in the knowledge that Mummy is helping save the rhinos. And word will soon get out that it might be best to look for other sources of income instead of having to deal with highly irrational women who will kill you with their bare hands, just for even LOOKING at a rhino.

You know, it might just work!

WIN a customized Lifestyle Ultra gift pack, including pampering vouchers, a bespoke piece of jewelry by Waif, chocolates and Lifestyle Invisible samples - valued at R600. To enter, simply tell me YOUR funniest (or craziest PMS moment) below - we've all had them! Competition closes on 5 November 2013.

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