How Do I Have the Time? My Secret:

3:47 PM Katy 9 Comments

Recently several people have asked me how I find the time to do everything. By "everything", they mean raise three kids by myself, work the full time engineering gig, travel for my job, and remodel houses in the evening.

This post by Maria is part of the secret: I find the time for the things that I'm committed to.

I am not committed to making this blog into a job, therefore it won't happen.
I am not committed to having the house clean all the time, or the laundry or dishes done, so it doesn't happen.
I am not committed to cooking, so it doesn't happen.
I am not committed to advancing my career to the point where I manage others, or have lots of letters after my name. Therefore it won't happen.

I am not committed to anything other than my kids, my relationship with my God, and my passion.

Here's another part of the secret: I am not married.

I am not committed to working on a relationship, meeting a man's needs or expectations, making sure there is meat for dinner every night, or scheduling my life around a man's activities.

Therefore, I have time that married women don't.

It may seem illogical that I could have this crazy life full of so much responsibility and no one to "help" me, and yet I have the time for the things I love.

When I was married I was *constantly* worried about what would happen at 6:00 when my husband got home and saw that I hadn't accomplished what he would expect of me.   I remember one day while he was at work I tore a big hole in the bathroom wall, because I wanted built-in shelving. I lost track of time, and when I heard his car pull in the driveway I freaked. I raced into the bedroom and made the bed in less than 10 seconds, throwing the pillows on just as he came down the hallway, hoping he wouldn't notice that I was breathing heavy. lol

 Now I have no worries. There won't be any punishment or disapproval because I didn't make the bed or cook anything for dinner. Nobody cares! (All the foods my kids love to eat are inexpensive and don't require lots of kitchen time. I NEVER make pot roast or fish anymore, for instance, because they won't eat it.)
We have a slightly different diet now. :)

The last part of my secret is this: when I have an emergency and really need help, my whole family lives within 10 minutes of me. My dad takes my son to Cub Scouts for me, because my daughter has choir practice at the same time. If you figure out how to be in 2 places at once, let me know!

So that's the story. Yes, my days are packed and I'm constantly exhausted. You probably do lots of things that I don't, because our commitments are different. (I have no "time" to go to the gym or exercise either, because I hate it.)  ;)

*edit* I'm not glorifying divorce since it was the most horrible thing me and my kids have suffered, but it did have a lot of silver linings.

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  1. Katy I agree (although I am married) everything you write about dinner, housekeeping, etc is so true. I must admit my hubby is very easy going but I do feel the pressure. Love your priorities too - be passionate about your passion.

  2. AMEN to this post for all parents. i spent the first 10 years as a stay at home mom doing much of what you describe--not b/c my husband expected it of me but b/c i demanded it of myself. once i went back to work and saw that we all survived a day with a sink full of dishes and laundry knee-high, it finally started to occur to me that i was my worst enemy! and i stopped clenching my jaw and shrieking like a nut case!

    keep 'em coming, katy...when you have the time!!

  3. Katy, you are so smart. You know what's important and what's not. You also get that we can't do everything. Thanks for the wisdom and inspiration!

  4. This was definitely my favorite post of the day! I love your motivation and drive! You go girl!

  5. I notice when my husband travels, I have so much more time...and yet, he doesn't expect dinner on the table or the house clean...but I put that pressure on myself and then I feel guilty.

    Amazing when we look, we can find a silver lining in EVERYTHING WE DO.

    I'm featuring your banquette that you linked to "I turned the daunting into the do-able" last Tuesday at Project Queen. It will be posted tonight.

    Hope you come back and link up again.

  6. You are an inspiration, young'un. LOVE your priorities...

  7. I definitely agree with you that the house doesn't have to be perfect all the time. There are more important things in life. Working on my projects makes me happy and is fulfilling; so I chose to devote more of my energy to that.. And when Mama's happy, everyone's happy!

  8. I too would not glorify divorce. Sometimes though, divorce is the healthier option between the two which sounds like it was in your case.

    There are some advantages to being single, one of the top being that you can choose to do what you would like with your time. That doesn't necessarily mean there's a lot of it, just that it doesn't need someone else's approval.

    As in all things there is a hidden lining. Digging deep enough in life's pockets to find that treasure is the trick.
    Which sounds like you so readily do!
    Good for you!!

  9. hey, i landed here by way of tiny houses by way of a caboose photo by way of . . .

    love this post (and all that i've seen thus far in your blog). yes for you! i am a writer, editor, poet, photographer--- but i only came to all that once i gave myself "permission" to live the way i had to. creative expression (whether we build crown molding or write stories) is vital to being.



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