I have this perpetual TO DO list on my phone that includes everything from milk and bananas to sort out finances. It's a bit like Tetris in that if the stack gets too big I feel an oppressive need to delete delete delete. I have a compulsion to get shit done. Sometimes I will cheat by adding in a throwaway like get manicure so I can enjoy the accomplishment of erasing something without doing something.

The list stalwarts, ever present and shuffled around like so many piles of unfolded laundry for months or even years, all involve the following: paperwork, bureaucracy, knowing how much money we actually make, and the post office. Thus, I have made a huge push to accomplish these by the end of April:

- Complete wills, living wills, powers of attorney etc
- Nag Sam to renew his expired passport
- Apply for Roan's passport
- Apply for life insurance
- Start Roan's college fund
- Harass Sam about doing his citizenship application
- Apply to preschool for Roan

Clearly we had some catching up to do in our transition to full adulthood from the transience of our previous life but that's what having kids will do. We've gotten off to a decent start until we get to the last two when it all comes to a screeching halt.

Sam has been talking about applying for citizenship for years and it is only his hatred of paperwork and gift for procrastination that has kept him from doing so. He wouldn't have to give up UK citizenship or anything (although he does have to sign a pledge that he is willing to go to war for the US) but he has to write down every single trip he has made out of the us in the last 10 years which involves trying to sort through every wayward stamp in his passport (why don't they just stamp in chronological order??) to come up with an honest time line.

Then there is the matter of preschool. I refuse REFUSE to buy in to the panic that people succumb to in applying for preschool.  Frankly, I think it's a construct that non-native New Yorkers have invented to prove to themselves that they have somehow earned a place in this city.  That said, this application is for Roan to go in 2013. 

We are only applying to one school and that is the Coop School in Bed-Stuy - not too fussy or precious, but fairly progressive and super imaginative.  Roan would absolutely love it. I don't care if he doesn't get in until he's 12, he's going. I had to write an essay about why I thought Roan would be a good fit with the school and I wasn't sure if I should write about Lula.  I don't want every story in his life to be prefaced with sadness, but I couldn't find any way to write about him and who he is without her and the impact she has had on all of us.  It just reminded me once again of her eternal presence in our lives. 

It does feel good to get all of this stuff out of the way and when I am done with it all I am going to celebrate with a manicure and pedicure and that will be the last thing I tick off the list.