Tuesday, August 17, 2010

[Women in Magic] A story from thephoenix5

I promised to post up this anecdote from @thephoenix5 on my blog. It highlights his concerns about why the environment at gaming stores may be hostile for women players.

Why don't we have more female players playing magic? 
After tonight, my view is because of the males playing magic. But before I go into details about this evening, let me first share a little background information about myself. I'm Male. I've just moved to a new city (Pittsburgh). I've been playing magic for about two years. I consider myself a spike. I have a degree in computer science. Oh, and did I mention I have a Fiancée? 
My Fiancée is an amazing woman for many reasons, but the most relevant to this post is that she not only learned how to play magic so she could play with me, but she goes to tournaments with me, and does pretty well for herself, (more on this in a later post). 
Tonight we went for our first FNM in a new city. The gaming store we chose had been recommended to us by many people (including a member of the WotC R&D team) as the best in the area. Upon our arrival a few players were sitting around waiting for 8 people to start a draft. Most of the players were in their twenties, but a few very young players were there too. I overheard a remark about the fact that a female showed up to play, but it was not disparaging and it's something I've come to accept. Most magic players are male, females automatically get noticed. What followed, however, was a forty five minute speech, held very loudly, about "Chocolate Rain" (not the song), female orgasms, and other bodily functions, lead by one of the players. Now I'm not a prude by any sense of the word, but to launch into such a discussion in response to the presence of a female is appalling, even more so in the presence of the younger players. 
I'd like to say I was incredibly surprised by this turn of events, but I'm not. Every gaming store has its own one or two socially awkward players. Especially around members of the opposite sex they seem to not know how to behave. However what upset me was not the one boorish player, it was the table full of other players who merely sat and listened, rather than taking any measures to stop him. Behavior only persists in a culture where it is tolerated.
So the next time you are at a magic event, and you see someone acting inappropriately, and you wonder why there aren't more women playing magic... speak up. Make sure that your local playgroup is such that women would feel comfortable hanging around. 

Highlighting this one incident is perhaps not enough for what the story is trying to accomplish. However I do encourage any other Magic players to go ahead and send me their stories - I think the more stories we have, the better. It is similar to talking about cheating and scumbaggery openly - the more we talk about it, the less likely people do it, especially considering how public the internet makes everything. By highlighting the bad stuff, we can try to curb people's behavior and hopefully remind people that Magic isn't truly a boy's club. It's not a fraternity house. It's a game for children, women, men, mothers, and fathers. It's a family game, and even though it's easy to forget that - considering who the majority of the customers are - we should try not to alienate ourselves too much. Magic is expanding, and whether you like it or not, you're going to see new faces at your local gaming store and at your prereleases and at your PTQs.

I don't have many stories of my own to share (crazy! I know), so it would be nice if you all could contribute and share your collective experiences. Just use my contact form above if you want your voice heard.