University boffins currently seem handy with an equation to work out why this or that day is better or worse than any other in the year.

Last year they got in quick with a formula showing Monday, January 24 was the most depressing day of the year - a time when foul weather, debt, fading Christmas memories, failed resolutions and a lack of motivation conspired to take us right down.

Part-time Cardiff university tutor Cliff Arnalls came up with 1/8W + (D-d) 3/8 x TQM x NA where W is the weather, D is debt, T is the time since Christmas, M for motivational levels need we go on?

But this year, shouldn't someone be looking to jump on the Professor Brainstorm bandwagon now? Is it rocket science to declare that we are going through a period that qualifies as one of the most depressing times in the recent history of the UK?

It's always easy in retrospect to declare a period of unrest was in the offing. Look back at any major doom-laden event and experts and analysts - like the prophets of old who pointed out meteors and comets - will tell us the signs were there and that we just ignored them.

Somehow the time of year seems perfect for predicting appalling events. Those clever clogs may think January - when we are cold, debt-ridden and cowed by endless short, dark days - is the nadir. But what about today - when we are cold, debt-ridden, cowed by endless short days and, facing further spending to provide a Christmas to remember? After all, it could be your last if you listen to reports about the state of health in Wales.

Are the storm clouds gathering or is it just that it's human nature to get bored when there isn't a new catastrophe to worry about? Or do we seem to have had it just too damn good for too damn long for the bubble not to burst? In our rush to the shops, are we trampling on the vital hints - the credit card bill on the mat, for example - that all is not well in the financial world?

And, in the same way a power-mad Government seems to outstay its welcome after three terms, perhaps we are all pushing our greedy luck with our endless appetite for consuming food (see rising obesity levels), which is gathering fast on the Christmas display shelves of the supermarkets.

If pi - 3.14159265 - represents the ratio of the circumference of a circle to the diameter, pie - 10xG where G = Greggs pasties - equals a BMI (weight (kg)/height2 (m)) which is way too high.

And our appetite doesn't stop at food. There's cars (equals global warming), and garden decking (equals sharp rise in disease-spreading rat population thanks to the warm nesting facility it provides).

Add to that the war in Iraq, which many believe to be a pointless exercise in aggression and needless, shocking death and are we approaching A.AAAA (apocalypse infinity)?

Surely though currently taking pole position in the Black Christmas competition has to be the housing market.

Certain individuals, having previously warned of dark times and then furiously backtracking, are now surely quietly hoping they will be proved right after all. (A case of RI (rising interest rates) x IHOP (introduction of homeowners pack) + HMC (housing market crash) = NE (negative equity) perhaps?)

There's the political situation - the Labour Government's dwindling fans, who were previously so slavish in their devotion and the Blair and Brown show (Bx2 = xl (unidentifiable leader or extra large mess where xl remains an unknown quantity)). And what about David Cameron making a fool of himself trying to ingratiate himself with young people (yob - b + c - l = yo Conservatives without a leader)?

Obviously in an age of such diversity, it would be impossible in the interests of sophisticated analysis to offer a one-size-fits-all equation that addressed everyone's lifestyles.

In England, where a reassessment of the poll tax has resulted in IQ (intrusive questioning) x 100/1 + EFDG (extra for double-glazing) divided by Dfne2 (desire for new extension so desperate it's multiplied by itself) = PRTS (potential riot in Trafalgar Square).

Or as we approach Christmas, how about: MW (miserable weather) + CE (comfort eating) x TIRR (threat of interest rate rise) + IRBRI (income rising below rate of inflation) + EAB (excessive amount borrowed) = BAC (bloody awful Christmas) - AFC (anyone for charades)?

Those with one main interest in life may not be affected by complications such as the IW (Iraq War) concept or its DT (death toll), an amount often multiplied by the TU (totally unnecessary) principle.

Some lead mathematically uncomplicated lives, such as the TV addict whose existence at a time when contestants on the latest game show have been announced can be worked out thus - JL (Jan Leeming) + IAC (I'm a Celebrity) x JD (Jason Donovan) = D2 (desperation squared).

Any fashionista, with a love of trends, is going through a grim - some may say grey - time. MW (mercurial weather) + L (leggings) - M&S (increasingly seen as good news) = bh2 (bad hair squared) x fc (fat calves).

And the WAG must be at her wit's end. Once everything was simple. You had long, blonde hair, fake tan and loads of bling. But can VB (Victoria Beckham) + Pob (new haircut) = LL-CL (losing long-cultivated locks) really be applied to everyone?

While proof of impending doom in the form of an equation should be depressing, the very fact our frivolous whims and wants can be quantified in such a solid, 2+2 sort of way is curiously uplifting.

It creates a sense of solidarity, a kind of we'll-all-go-down-together type feeling which should bring out the good old British bulldog spirit and ensure that we don't let the ******* get us down. It's quite simple. DM2 (doom merchants squared) = UY x 100 where UY represents the traditional value of up yours.