Giant insects invade the tunnel of CERN’s particle accelerator (Switzerland – Geneva).

CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is again in the media spotlight with another incident that may further tarnish the prestigious organization’s image.

Since the case of the disappearance of a physicist sucked into a mini black hole created by the large particle accelerator, CERN’s engineers have been working tirelessly to recreate the conditions of the experiment in an attempt to bring back the unfortunate scientist unwillingly projected into hyper space.

But have the researchers really weighed up all the risks involved in their dangerous experiments? In their unsuccessful attempts, did they really understand that they were playing the sorcerer’s apprentice in unwisely venturing into the unknown realms of cosmological physics?

Whatever the case, CERN’s tunnel has since then become the scene of terrifying events worthy of any of the best science fiction horror films. Hundreds of giant parasitic insects akin to those of the spider family have invaded the research center’s corridors as a result of the further mini black holes created by the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).

As the outcome of these cosmological quirks, these awful creatures have a terrifying span of several meters and do not hesitate to attack staff in order to satisfy their ravenous appetite for human flesh. For the time being, the colony remains confined in CERN’s tunnel but in view of the increase in the number of spiders that appear each time the particle accelerator is run, how long will the tunnel’s gates leading onto the outside be able to withstand the onslaught of these horrible bugs?

This invasion regretfully confirms the wild rumours that have been going round on the Internet about the creation of synthetic black holes capable of projecting our planet into parallel universes with the intention of opening up the gates of hell.

Faced with this situation, which may very quickly become uncontrollable, NATO armed forces are considering the use of nuclear weapons to seal off the passage to the beyond accidentally opened up by the risky experiments of CERN scientists.

The irony of the story is that who would have imagined that a nuclear research center would one day itself be nuked by a nuclear warhead?

CERN’s physicists remain sceptical in the face of this extreme solution and suggest initially trying to use insecticide sprays rather than nuclear bombs to overcome these nasty alien insects.

This French translation of this article is available by clicking on this link : Des insectes géants envahissent les galeries techniques de l’accélérateur de particules du CERN

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  1. Is this real or a joke? Cause I’m not laughing!

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