Monday, August 26, 2019

Three Sunday Morning Questions: Creating Easygoing Holy Conversations

It took a while to name it. Relationships were healthy, interest good, curriculum fun and theologically terrific. But things seemed to move along like lugging a heavy bag up a hill.  What took a while to name was that what many people needed most on a Sunday morning was a break from demands and information and performance of accomplishment. Little league, music lessons, school work, day after day. When being at church at 9 am is the easy day of the week - that reality needs to be cared for. Plus some studies suggest that typical teenage brains are not most apt for complex learning until a bit later anyway. 

There is no way that folks are going to become world-class theological ethicists in an hour a week - no matter how awesome my plans are. What we can offer on a Sunday morning is our best imitation of Jesus: welcome and freedom to check-in or just listen; love mixed with some tickling of the sacred desire. Oh, and food. Our friends know they are hungry more than they are clear that they have questions about who we are and who we are called to be.  

This method is very simple, very intuitive if you think of ministry as a call to gather at the table, and it may not work for every setting or every settings goals.  It worked for me in one setting, and I suspect it could be a gift for others.

In the parish setting, we centered the conversation with large coloring posters (Illustrated Children's Ministry - thank you).  This gives a focus to the gathering and opens up that space of learning while hands are busy.  We colored them together - which was bonding - and about anyone can color.  Sometimes we filled in the spaces with words that were said or patterns.  Perhaps this is why some restaurants cover tables with butcher paper and offer crayons.  It somehow fosters friendly togetherness.  That butcher paper and crayons idea might be all that your friends need.  The nice thing about the posters is that they made colorful art for the walls!

We also equipped the room with a toaster oven and electric kettle (and the freezer with breakfast treats, and hot cocoa mix/tea for the kettle). I tried to get folks to premake and freeze breakfast casseroles, but that idea failed promptly - however , maybe it is a good idea for another setting.

These are cafe style questions; ways to sit together and grow together.  They were written for a wide range of young people, however, I trust that they can be adapted for adult gatherings. I imagine them as life-givers at pub theology meetings, prayer knitters groups, outdoor duty clubs (weed pullers and lawn cutters..).  They could also work as table-toppers at a dinner.

The first is always an on-board silly would you rather type game - expanded a bit. (See above to the right).  Seven items are written up, sometimes with a lead-in question, sometimes no question just there. Then you have two dice and folks roll the dice and have to choose between the two matching numbers, and if a person were to get two of the same number then that is where the x comes in. 

Then we chat through the questions which go from worldly to faith-based. Usually three, sometimes four questions. Sometimes I would let the participants choose the order of the questions.  They tended to foster other questions - the kind that could be answered with a bible dictionary or google.

This can be added to with scripture and/or theological readings and reflection. What I found was that it met people where they were and invited them toward bigger questions to be explored at another time. It is non-demanding and simple and meets a human need which can caress the hesitant into engagement.  

Here are some of the question sets:

  • List the most important rules for life together.
  • Tell about a time when you broke a rule.
  • Why is it hard for some people to choose to follow God's best ways to live?

  • Name your favorite animals.
  • What animal is most like you?
  • List jobs that are important but get no respect.
  • Jesus says he is the good shepherd'.  How does that make you feel?

  • What do you do when you need to 'look busy'?
  • Tell of a time when you should have prepared more than you did.
  • What does God want us to do to be prepared?

  • Name book/movie characters that are good friends.
  • How can friendship be risky?
  • Can you imagine Jesus as a good friend?
  • What is better: one fabulous friend or many alright friends?

  • Tell a story about needing to be silent.
  • How do you feel when it is silent?
  • Is the call to be still and listen well followed?

  • Name books/movies about disasters.
  • Which is scarier: being all alone or in a crowded mob?
  • What good things can come out of accidents?
  • Does God cause bad things to happen?

  • Weather can be lovely and terrifying.  What is your favorite type of weather?
  • How do you respond when others are afraid?
  • Find a bible passage where God (or Jesus) responds to fear.

  • What color can signify LISTEN?
  • Name a favorite sound.
  • Do you listen more or make noise more?
  • How is prayer listening?

  • What does WELCOME taste like?
  • How is welcoming difficult?
  • Find or recall a time when Jesus was welcomed.

  • Tell a brief story about finding something important to you.
  • What makes you say 'whoa'?
  • How do you experience God/Son/Spirit?

  • What are some things for which we should be more grateful?
  • Imagine yourself as another animal.  What would you be and why?
  • What does Jesus give thanks for?

  • What are some things that seem ordinary but are actually special?
  • Name ordinary things that God does amazing things with.
  • Imagine yourself in Jesus' company - what is ordinary and what is special about that scene?

  • List fictional kings and queens.
  • What is hard and what is easy about being a national leader.
  • Why might the church focus on Christ the King this week?  (Last week before Advent)

  • Name tasks you do not want to do.
  • List classic stories with trials and hardships.
  • Name some of the experiences that being 'sunk' might represent.

  • Name songs or music that lifts your spirit.
  • Tell about what you like to eat when you are sick.
  • Do you expect God to help change and heal us?

  • Tell about an object you loved when you were younger.
  • Talk about the pro's & con's of Valentines Day (as it is practiced).
  • How is God's love like and not like romantic love?

  • What natural disasters frightens you the most?
  • Tell about a time when you had to start over.
  • Do you think God gets frightened?

  • Share some of the interesting names you have heard.
  • If you could name yourself what would you choose?
  • Why does how we speak of God matter?

  • Name some rules you think are absurd.
  • Why is it hard to follow the rules?
  • What one command would you add to the top ten?

  • What do you like to do when you have no demands or plans?
  • How is sabbath helpful?
  • Why might God need rest?

  • If life was full of monsters, what would they be?
  • Tell about a time when you conquered a 'wild beast.'
  • How does God help us face the 'monsters' around and within us?

  • Tell about a fantastic party you attended.
  • Who would you like to have a party for?
  • What would a party with Jesus be like?

  • Can you share an outrageous daydream you have?
  • Name three adjectives that you hope people would say about you.
  • How do we know about what God hopes for us?

  • Share about a time when you were surprised.
  • What needs to be challenged to better care for the whole creation?
  • Which does God require more of - right words or right actions?

  • Talk about allowance, chores, 'toothfairy' money etc in your household (currently or as a child).
  • Name some things you know (or can quickly learn) about income inequality.
  • Find a parable Jesus tells that applies to 'money'.  How does it connect to your life?

  • What do you think people like about this neighborhood?
  • Name a few things that strangers do that make you leary.
  • Tell about a time you changed your mind about a place or people.

  • How is risk attractive?
  • Tell about a time you took a risk.
  • Name 3 courageous people in the Bible.