How do you live your life?

– Hugh Prather.

Can you identify with this? I totally can. Since it always kept happening to me as a child, I learned by the age of 11, not to make plans or fixed decisions. Not about anything, ever.

Everytime I made a plan for something, it never worked out. Everytime I thought I finally caught a break, things would collapse again.

By the time I was 13, I started meditation. This only emphasized to me what life already taught me. Only, it gave me a new perspective & clarity. Life & God were not against me, I was not cursed or doomed to fail. I didn’t have to live fighting or with dejection, when things didn’t go my way. I deeply understood that change is just the nature of things.

At 16, I did Vipassana, which taught me about annichha – impermanence. Which helped me stop taking life, people, situations and myself so seriously. To trust life, flow with it instead of hustle. So I’ve never been competitive, fought for work, cheated others to get more etc. What’s meant for me will always end up on my lap. There are enough amazing, kind, supportive and generous people around me thankfully. I believe this firmly, because life made sure it rubbed it in deep.

Obviously, I’ve also met tons of well-meaning people who’ve said that my way of living is wrong, that I’m ‘airy-fairy’, living in the clouds, that I should grow up & live in the real world. I listen, but keep on walking (or floating as they say), without looking back, or caring about their beliefs of ‘should’. I understand where they come from.

But we all have our own learnings, and through them our beliefs. I love who I am, and living the way I do – mistakes, falls & all. And for all change & other life lessons, I always remain open.

Happy Teachers Day, to life, every single person on this planet & their opinions. 🤗🙏

Misunderstandings (Part 1)

How often do you misunderstand people?
How often do you feel misunderstood?
Could that be because you lack the appropriate skills to communicate?
Or is it because of perception?

You are perceived by others, only in the way they know how. That could be based on their past, their patterns or their beliefs and conditioning, or their mood at this moment – not as you want, regardless of how honest your intentions are. Or as we often see on social media (especially Twitter), regardless of simple logic or established facts. In fact, the more logical or practical you are, the more angry people tend to get. Why is that?

Because they don’t have a reply?
Because they have to accept a truth they’d rather be in denial about?
Because it shakes them out of their comfort zone?
Because they realize there might be truth to what you say, which means what they believed was wrong – and since most people identify themselves with their beliefs, that makes them and all their years of existence wrong? And being wrong according to them, is a bad thing, a shameful thing. It means you accept defeat, that you are a loser. And no one likes to lose, right?

You will always only be received and understood, by the way another chooses, consciously or subconsciously to receive you. No matter what you do. Understand this deeply.

So always communicate with love and calmness. Choose to respond, instead of react. Be kind to those that are stuck in the frustration of not being able to receive kindness, love and help, when you communicate with them. Try not to judge, or condemn them for it.

Can you relate to this in other areas of life?
– Ramona Arena.
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