The Euphemisms

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The Euphemisms


Features, Women's Rights

(after Peter Reading)

A great and sure remedy

for unmarried ladies. A boat

somewhere so she can sort this out

and then get back to her life.

A Ryanair flight to Leeds-Bradford.

A pill the modern woman

can take with her coffee.

An ex-nurse above a fish and chip shop

who helps girls in trouble.

A day trip to a clinic

near Liverpool. Flushing it

down the lavatory. Something

the Irish government is in no rush

to legislate for. What the Bishop of Kerry

is definitely against.

Something no one wants.

The world’s second oldest profession.

A number in England her doctor

suggests she phone.

Something the Irish government

will deal with in a prompt

and appropriate manner.

The constitutional amendment of 1983.

The letters A, B, C. The letter X.

If we leave it long enough

all the letters in between.

Something you can’t have women

walking in off the street

and demanding.