While in Thessaly, Greece, this author met and befriended Nathan William Smith, a 34-year old U.S. Army combat veteran from the American Midwest. Smith went on the record about the very real challenges of growing into manhood, finding life purpose, and being in war. He also spoke in-depth about how his military service and career as an Air Ambulance pilot expanded his views about the impact individuals can have in their communities and the world at large.

The result of the interview is a four-part story, to be featured in four weekly segments. This is the first installment of four.

Nathan William Smith has fond memories of growing up in a double wide trailer between two tobacco farms in Rocheport, Missouri.

He said, “It was the best you ask for. The whole area was a giant playground,” Smith said as he described his old stomping grounds with nearby creeks, pear trees, apple trees, and a family of deer that could often be viewed from the back porch.

“I looked up to my older brother, Nick, and I always remember being provided for, but looking back, we were pretty poor.”

Smith’s mother, Gloria, worked as an administrative assistant and his father, Windell, worked various jobs at the University of Missouri and the Veterans Administration Hospital.

Smith said, “My dad was unique. He was a very smart man … Pop was a professional athlete. He was scouted by the New York Yankees, and played minor league ball for one year … He served as an airman in the U.S. Air Force and was a combat controller in Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos. He was the guy on the radio calling in air strikes.”

Windell discouraged his sons from joining the military. He encouraged higher education.

Smith says he did not think much about joining the military until the World Trade Center attack happened on September 11, 2001. He was sixteen at the time of the atrocity.

He said, “I went to cross-country practice. I remember being very confused. Not knowing how I should necessarily feel.”

Smith’s confusion turned into deep anger. He was still two years away from being able to enlist in the military, but he now considered this as a possibility.

When Smith reached age eighteen in 2003, the political stories had begun to shift.

He said, “It started to seem a little less sure, from the political perspective. Are there weapons of mass destruction? Are there not weapons of mass destruction? I questioned whether joining military would be the right thing. Seemed like we were rushing, jumping to conclusions without having definitive facts.”

Smith went on to attend the University of Missouri, where he ran cross-country and track and studied history. He found it challenging to run 150 miles per week while managing a full schedule and holding a 3.2 GPA, but he succeeded until an unexpected loss interrupted life as he knew it.

In 2004, Windell passed away. Smith was devastated.

He said, “Our biggest fan was gone. Running didn’t feel good anymore. Nothing felt good anymore. We looked up to Pop. When he was gone, part of us was lost … didn’t feel right anymore. I wandered. Didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what I wanted.”

Smith knew he wanted to be a contributor to society, but did not yet know how to achieve that.

The mourning twenty-year-old left college and headed to Orlando, Florida to live with a friend. There, he began a new life working in a surf shop. He spent his free time learning to surf the waves of the Atlantic Ocean. On the inside, he experienced the psycho-emotional waves of early manhood: striving to discover his purpose in the world, striving to find his strength, all while honoring the deep sadness that took the place of his closest ally in life.

He said, “It was a very dark period. Lots of soul searching. Who am I? What do I believe?”

“For a young man, the years between ages 18-22, are confusing times. Couple that with a traumatic event, and that can send someone into a spiral.”

“There were so many times between ages 18-22 that I wanted to just curl up into a fetal position because I didn’t know what to do. It’s such a unique time in a young man’s life, the feeling that you’re supposed to have all the answers. But you’re still a young man, and have a lot to learn. You can’t have all the answers.”

“Your ego is trying to exert your influence, but you don’t even know what your influence is or what you stand for yet.”

Spending long hours on the water brought Smith healing and answers. He described that once the surf breaks, the water gets smooth, peaceful, and quiet, offering solitude.

He said, “I explored my feelings on the surfboard. That’s when I realized my emotions weren’t steady. I felt broken. I also felt like I could start to process and heal.”

One day, while surfing at Satellite Beach near Patrick Air Force Base, Smith watched a Black Hawk fly traffic patterns over the water. On the drive home, he stopped his vehicle to nap. Before he could fall asleep, he saw a helicopter flying overhead and watched the operators use a Bambi bucket to extinguish a brush fire.

“That looks like something useful,” Smith thought. He immediately started researching career possibilities for flying helicopters. Since civilian flight schools were cost prohibitive, Smith decided to learn to fly through the U.S. Army.

After successfully completing multiple tests and physicals, Smith was accepted into Army Flight School. Upon acceptance, he was ordered to leave for basic training just two days later.

Smith began his military career on July 25, 2007. He completed basic training and flight school and worked at Fort Riley, Kansas until being deployed to Iraq in 2010.

The American led invasion of Iraq had begun years prior in 2003, and while the official end date of the war was December 15, 2011, violence was reported to continue and worsen after 2011. Smith was being sent into the thick of the conflict.

He said, “I thought one thing: we’re gonna win a war, and I want to be a part of it.”

The young soldier was energized by the excitement of doing something dangerous and by contributing to something which (at that time) he felt was a noble cause.

He said, “I felt like I was doing something very special and didn’t want to let anyone down.”

Smith’s journey into manhood and world service was just beginning. He was now a well-trained military machine, but he would have to summon a deeper strength from within himself to pilot through the atrocities of war.

To be continued…