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Always Winning Can Negatively Impact Your Child

Posted By Center for Mediated Divorce || 28-Nov-2016

In a world of the “every child is a winner” mentality, studies might actually be showing that letting your child win every time could do more harm than good. According to recent research, when a child wins 100% of the time he or she can develop confidence traits that hinder problem-solving skills. The child can no longer identify helpful resources and can fail to use proper problem-solving skills. Children that win all the time tend to trust their own instincts, no matter how wrong, over helpful and accurate resources.

Research Looks Favorably on Failure

Researchers took 112 children between the ages of four and five and separated them into four different studies. In each study, the children were told to find a hidden toy using a laptop game. Each child had two adults providing them clues; one adult provided helpful clues and the other provided clues that were unhelpful. Half the children were always rigged to find their toy and the other half was rigged only to find their toy some of the time. At the end of three of the studies, 73% of the losing children were able to identify the helpful adult, but the winning children could only identify the helpful adult 50% of the time. In the fourth study, the winning children showed a higher interest in the helpful adult after losing only once.

What does this mean for our children?

It means that we need to let our kids lose. Letting them win all the time doesn’t make them winners. In fact, it can cripple their ability to identify helpful strategies, the usefulness of help from others, and other vital problem-solving skills. Every parent wants their child to be a winner, but being a loser could be more important.

Contact our Irvine divorce lawyers for more information about helping your children through a divorce or other matters concerning the development of your children.

Categories: Parenting

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