Ya’ll know I was born and raised in North Dakota, right?  Well, my foolish impression of sweet, little North Dakota has always been that we’re basically a live-and-let-live state.  You know, what you do is none of my business because damn it, I don’t want anyone in my business, so either I was completely ignorant as to what North Dakota was really like, or shit has changed in the last five years.  And this little post here is not really politicky, but more what-the-fricky.  There’s this sweet little town up north called Minot.  It’s close enough to oil country to make people nervous but not right in the thick of it, you know?  Minot’s biggest claim to fame so far is that actor, Josh Duhamel (Transformer’s, Las Vegas) that guy, is from Minot.  Minot has one newspaper, the Minot Daily News.  The biggest newspaper day is Sunday.  It’s not really any big deal, but Sunday, April 19, the Minot Daily News decided to just go ahead and take the money and run this little ad.  Now if ya can’t read it, here’s what it says:


Youth are taught that drugs and smoking harm the body. However, it appears that even young children are being indoctrinated into a belief system that a lifestyle that includes sodomy us a healthy lifestyle to choose. It appears that it might not be politically correct for schools to teach that sodomy used to be a felony in all jurisdictions in America because of the serious health consequences. Therefore, it could be beneficial for teenagers to view shocking 2010 CDC Update About Homosexuality on YouTube. Teenagers should be given a right to learn that there are valid health reasons to avoid sodomy.


1. Sodomy is a destructive act against nature. Consent does not change the fact that acts of sodomy are unwise. The grave consequences that occur make it obvious that no person has a body designed for sodomy.

2. Sodomy is a want, not a need. Participating in sodomy is a choice.

3. Since persons are not born with bodies designed for sodomy, it is vital for teenagers to be aware that the part of the body often used for sodomy is designed with a thin, fragile membrane that tears easily.  A tiny tear can become infected and since this cavity does not heal quickly, a colostomy bag is often required. Sodomy can cause severe damage to the body which can result in death.

4. Sodom spreads disease rapidly because the membrane that often suffers abuse leads directly to the bloodstream. Protection designed for normalcy is often ineffective when used for sodomy.


Sponsored and paid for by concernforchildren, box 115, 200 Maragaret Street, Almont, ND 58520

Now, take a couple seconds and just let that sink in….

Um, why do I care at all about sodomy?  Why is this in my damn paper?  Why does it look suspiciously like an actual news article?  Um, so…..yeah….ok.

The paper has since been flooded with calls and emails and asked to ‘splain itself, Lucy! Of course, the paper has taken the road that all “journalism” outlets take these days as to why they accepted the money to run this full-freakin-page news/ad.

Here’s the deal folks….if this is free speech, why did they have to pay for it?

If the paper prints any ad based upon our constitutional right to free speech, where do we draw the line?

Like, if I wanna advertise my “barely legal porn site”  is that ok?  Free Speech!  If I wanna advertise the next KKK rally, is that ok?  FREE SPEECH!

And thus you have the problem with today’s media.  They work for money. If there’s no money, they go out of business. The first amendment has gone from a way to protect the truth to a way to invent the truth.  Yes, you can say whatever you want. Yes, you can print whatever bass-ackwards moronic thing you want to print if it’s paid for.  But no, you aren’t free from repercussions of your stupid speech. So, I’m sorry, but I’m not a moron (and most North Dakotans aren’t). So, I read your ridiculous ad and all I could think of was this line from the Simpsons–which had an equally ridiculous plot.

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