754: Steven Hayes on Why Craving Pain is Human

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one of the most effective methods to increase psychological flexibility – but what exactly is ACT, how can it decrease the suffering in your life, and why is it so crucial to leading a happy and fulfilling life, especially in this day and age?

What to Listen For

  • What is the bus driver metaphor and how can you use it to prevent your thoughts and feelings from controlling you?
  • What is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and why is it so effective?
  • What one question can you ask yourself to determine why something is important to you?
  • Why is it important to us to experience the full range of emotions, rather than just the good ones?
  • How can you learn to appreciate negative feelings just as much as positive ones so you can decrease the suffering in your life?
  • What can you do to turn negative feelings (like anxiety) into a guiding compass for what you want in life?
  • What has been the biggest challenge with the way our lives have been infused with technology and what can you do to lessen the negative impacts?
  • How dominant is the comparison of more versus less in our heads?
  • What is the best way to start overcoming your anxiety, and why might it seem counterintuitive at first?
  • What simple exercise can you do to transform your mental state whenever you want?

Pain is unavoidable. One could argue it is the most important stimulus for change and growth in a person’s life. And if pain is that important, then having a mindset or method for dealing with pain can only benefit you in the long run. If you allow yourself to get hung up on painful moments and refuse to learn from them, then you will only increase the suffering you experience.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy helps individuals to shift their perspective on pain and suffering by improving their psychological flexibility. Think of it as a tree in a storm. If that tree is stiff, it will eventually snap under enough stress, but if the tree is flexible, no matter how hard the wind blows, the tree will simply bend until the storm has passed.

Do you want to snap under the stress of life? Or do you want to bend, and come out the other side stronger and wiser?

A Word From Our Sponsors


Babbel is the new way to learn a foreign language.You can try Babbel for free. Download the app or text CHARM to 484848.

Access a World of Knowledge. Unlimited video learning with the World’s Greatest Professors at The Great Courses Plus. Start your Free Month trial now by going to thegreatcoursesplus.com/charm

Go to stateandliberty.com and type in the code CHARM to get 10% off your first order or mention this podcast at any of their locations.


Resources from this Episode

Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit

Steven Hayes

Episode 727: Sugar Ray Leonard

Mental Brakes to Avoid Mental Breaks | Steven Hayes | TEDx

How love turns pain into purpose | Steven Hayes | TEDx

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

AJ on Instagram

Johnny on Instagram

The Art of Charm on Instagram

AJ Harbinger - author of 1139 posts on The Art of Charm


Email · Google+ · Facebook

in Podcast

Leave a Reply

