Advice For Men
— Which techniques work better for sex, and why.






Take Jeremy, a 40 year old man who had honed the techniques of pickup artists for over a decade.  After years of ‘getting women into bed’, Jeremy was finding dating boring and sex uninspiring. He was having a difficult time reaching orgasm, and the ‘system’ did not seem to work with women he was really interested in.  He was completely lost and terribly lonely.


Which pick-up artist techniques work?


  1. The Three Second Rule:


Sexual Analysis: Spontaneity can add excitement to a sexual encounter.  Don’t over-think sexual exploration.


  1. Touch Quickly:
    A pickup artist knows what the behavioral sociologists have known for a long time — touching in a casual and non-threatening way can allow the woman to relax around you, while her reactions to your touch can give you valuable feedback as to her physical limits and her impressions of you.


Sexual Analysis:  ‘Good touch’ establishes the physicality of the relationship quickly. Start out with a non-sexual touch — graze her arm, hand or small of her back as she is getting up or when you are making a point. Her response will give you valuable information as to how quickly you can advance sexually.


  1. 3.      Give Her Time to Come to You:

The pickup artist will tell you that when it comes to moving onto to kissing and more, first show interest and
then pull back a bit and let the woman respond.




Which pick-up artist techniques fail? 



  1. 1.      Negging:  ‘Negging’ is a technique used to pick up ‘attractive’ women accustomed to receiving compliments. The pick-up artist criticizes her to catch her off guard, make her self-conscious and look for the negg-ers approval.


Sexual Analysis:  Drawing attention to a woman’s physical insecurity will only focus her attention on that judgment (called spectatoring), and away from her sexual arousal.   A lack of arousal and erotic focus is a recipe for bad sex.


  1. 2.      Freezing Out: ‘Freezing out’ is a negative reinforcement tool in which the pickup artist stops conversation or acts as if disinterested to control a woman’s ‘bad’ behavior. 




Once Jeremy identified which techniques were useful and which were destructive, sex started to feel different to him — more exciting.  By being more discerning about the advice he follows, he is feeling less lonely and more connected with women he is interested in.



Discover more:

Are pick-up artists good lovers?

What is it like to have sex with a pick-up artist? 
One woman’s experience