New father admits: 'Why I'm not aiming to be the World's Best Dad'

By Kevin Bradford|

Approaching my first Father's Day as a dad, I've been given a whole new perspective on parenting.

Whilst I've always bought a card for my own dad, I'm now in a position where (hopefully), I'll be on the receiving end.

So, my previous focus on what would appeal to my 'old man' (I'm talking stream trains, cameras, and guitars), has been replaced by a new consideration of what I think might be most appropriate and fitting for me, from my one-month-old son.

Kevin Bradford Father's Day
Sydney dad Kevin Bradford with his newborn son. (Supplied)

And it was on closer inspection of the designs and wording that I realised there was a common theme, which I immediately felt in my case was inaccurate, and somewhat unachievable.

"To the World's Best Dad", read one. "The Greatest Dad", read another. "World's Number One", "Best EVER daddy", "All time greatest". You get the gist.

See, what I have realised early on, is I'm not aiming to be "The World's Best Dad".

I realise I'm likely to make mistakes, fall short, and mess up. And if I put pressure on myself to be that perfect parent, I'm likely to under perform.

So instead, I'm looking at it as a new job - a new career path I hope to do well in.

Kevin Bradford Father's Day

And taking that professional approach is not all that uncommon, according to author and director of Parenting Ideas, Michael Grose.

He points out that a lot of men are becoming fathers for the first time at an older age, as they get into their 30s. They already have a whole lot of life experience and are confident in themselves, but are more au fait with office work, than prepared for poopy pants.

"Men nowadays want to be there and they want to know about the process," Grose says.

"In the past it was about providing for the family. Nowadays for men, it's a lot more about being hands on.

"They see parenting as a job, they want to be involved and to be part of it, to know what the right thing is to do for their child, and to be able to help out the mother."

Kevin Bradford Father's Day
New dad Kevin Bradford admits he's never going to be father of the year. (Supplied)

And that's certainly true. The more I can do to help support my partner, to ensure she has everything she needs to be a great mum, is crucially important.

Her instincts with our son are far better than mine, and it has been wonderful to see her revel in that role.

But for me, it's not something I'm immediately comfortable with - I'm essentially the office newbie. That difficulty with adjusting, Grose explains, is partly due to the fact I'm a lot further away from my own childhood. I don't have siblings, and have not really had any cause to be involved with kids in the community.

So, I have to put the role in a context I can understand - it's a job.

"With a first child you're going into new ground. A lot of learning and a lot of pressure," says Grose.

"So, a child is usually a passion, seen as a project, and professional men seem to do it well."

Kevin Bradford Father's Day
Kevin Bradford, pictured here soon before his new son came into the world. (Supplied)

For me, that workplace perspective of wanting to take pride in my position, have a drive to improve and find time for fun, is what I want to take into my parenting.

I want to have that positive work ethic that can help deliver a product I'm proud of. But just as in any workplace, however hard one tries, there are simply times when there will be people who are better at the role than you are.

And in this 'line of duty', there are obviously blokes out there more deserving of the "Top Dad Title". Setting myself up to be the best, is setting myself up for a fall.

I mean, Chris Hemsworth for example, gives it a red-hot crack. Hollywood's actual Thor, who can then pop down to his local school to help out with canteen duty.

And Prince Harry, what with being a real life solider, with his castles, and an unwavering commitment to charity work. That sort of stuff qualifies for 'Best in Class'.

Prince Harry
Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan, introduce their baby son, Archie Harrison, to the world on May 8. (AAP)

But, while I maybe can't hit the heights of Harry, it's his role model message that does resonate.

He recently talked about the "newfound clarity" he has as a father, adding: "My son will always be watching what I do, mimicking my behaviour, one day maybe even following in my footsteps."

He talked about how, even when you don't realise, there is someone who may be looking up to you. "You inspire them to be kinder, better, greater, more successful, more impactful," he said.

And Grose agrees, saying most new dads are struck by the realisation of wanting to teach, to hand down knowledge, when their child is born.

"The job is to look out for the next generation," he says.

"The instinct is to provide for the family, to make them feel safe, to help them do things.

"There's a drive to teach the child new things, particularly sons, because deep down, there's always the feeling that 'one day I'm going to die, and you will have to fend for yourself'."

So, with that in mind, while I'm not aiming to be the world's best dad, I am certainly hoping I can pass something on, and be the best dad I can be.

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