Hallo, Comrades! Did you wake up this morning feeling extra-communisty? We sure did, but we weren’t quite sure why we had a deep urge to fling our rich clothes to the poor, a la St. Francis of Assisi. Of course, there's a reason we didn’t know why: We're pinheads!!1! And if our heads are the size of pins, who better to REDsplain to us why we are communists than someone with a ginormous noggin? Take it away,Bill O’Reilly:

The answer is that Obamacare is just part of a vision for the forced sharing of American assets.

Our third-grade self wants to share our ABC gum with Bill. 

Bill-O cherry-picks some quotes from Democrats about health care being a civil right, one of them there positive rights that the gubmint should provide for everyone. But in order to keep all the poors from dying of preventable disease, or a disproportionate number of non-white womyn from dying in childbirth IN FUCKING AMERICA IN FUCKING 2013, it might cost a little bit of money. And Bill is super-duper concerned about our national debt, so much so that he mansplains why we have such a huge debt:

Some of that debt is because of wars. But most of it is providing entitlements and infrastructure, things like roads, water, police protection and we Americans pay taxes to have those things.

Slow down, there, Billy. While we may have small-sized heads, we are able to drag our drunken commie eyes to Teh Google and try to learn where, in fact, the debt actually comes from. While you gloss over the glitch-free Iraq war, and fail to mention the Bush tax cuts AT ALL, could those have anything to do with national debt? According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities:

By 2019, we estimate that these two policies [Bush tax cuts and Afghanistan/Iraq wars] will account for almost half — over $8 trillion — of the $17 trillion in debt that will be owed under current policies.

Holy Slanted News, Batman! It seems as if facts have gotten in the way of calling those who like health care commies. Apparently most of our debt actually comes from Republican policies of bombing browns and giving massive tax cuts to the wealthy. We here at Wonkette are in utter disbelief that the stalwart of honesty and truth, Fox News, would be so incredibly deceptive.

Wrap it up for us, Bill:

"Talking Points" believes that most Americans don't understand what the deuce is going on in this country. Slick politicians on both sides can easily obscure the truth. But the truth is that the USA at this point in time can't afford to pay for Obamacare unless working Americans give up more of their assets. In some cases much more.

Apparently, not-very-slick asshat teevee talking heads can also obscure the truth. As for not being able to “afford” Obamacare, pesky facts once again get in the way, this time via the Center for American Progress:


So it sounds like rather than giving up assets, Obamacare can provide affordable health care to millions while reducing our national debt.

Just to recap:

  • Republican policies killing lots of people and giving handouts to the rich actually cost the rest of us trillions in national debt.
  • Librul policies of helping the masses get affordable health care saves everyone money.

We may be commie pinheads, but math and data seem to indicate that Bill O’Reilly is a lying sack of ‘the deuce.’

[Fox News / CBPP / CAP]


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