THE  P.A.N.D.A.  WAR  

b y  D a n  S h e a

Won the Austin Film Festival Best Comedy Screenplay Award.

A little bit about the story:

THE P.A.N.D.A. WAR is about NEIL SHARMA (13), the most average kid in a family of over achievers whose quest to win a lowly school attendance award leads to him beating them all, on his own terms.


Imagine being the child of George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin…That’s how NEIL SHARMA (13) feels. He’s like most of us—completely normal and terribly average. His family on the other hand, are off the charts amazing:  his genius twin sister is already at Harvard, his older brother is a 4-time All-State quarterback, his mother is an Olympic gold medalist and ex-supermodel, and Neil’s dad, well, he died, but not before winning the Nobel Peace Prize, leaving Neil one hell of a legacy to live up to. Neil needs to win something, anything, to prove his own worth, to make his father proud. But with no real talent, there’s nothing he’s likely to win……unless he wins The Perfect Attendance No Days Absent (P.A.N.D.A.) Award. No one in the history of his school has ever won it and this is his ONLY shot at ever truly being a part of his stupendously magnificent family. With no challenger in sight, Neil stands one month away from triumph. But out of nowhere comes a new girl, transfer student MOLLY MALONE (13). She’s also never missed a day of school and she wants to win just as badly as he does.

(Mis)guided by janitor-mentor SPERMAN (late 30s/early 40s) and aided by best-friend and super-nerd TOMO (13), Neil goes undercover and befriends “the enemy”. Unfortunately for Neil, Molly’s not only secretly supported by PRINCIPAL BIZ (late 30s/early 40s), who has a score to settle with Sperman after he dumped her in junior-high, Molly’s also really really…intriguing. Neil’s plan backfires—he and Molly fall in ‘like.’ Hell-bent on winning both the P.A.N.D.A. Award and his dead father’s approval, Neil buries his affection for Molly, loses friends, and incites an all-school battle of the sexes, which turns into a school-wide campaign against Neil. Moments away from winning the trophy, though, Neil examines the costs of uncompromising ambition:  he’s lost his dignity, his friends, and his first love for… what? Neil realizes: Glory isn’t something you can put on a mantle; knowing that you did the right thing, loving the people that love you back, and defining your own version of winning is what makes a person truly awesome. And Neil takes a decisively un-Sharma-like action:  Neil lets go of winning in favor of making Molly happy. Seeing her smile. THIS, he decides, makes him the REAL winner on the Sharma family mantle of awesomeness.

Co-producer:  Kelly Kiernan - Kelly has worked with directors and producers including Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino, Tony Scott, Bryan Singer, Steven Soderberg, and Doug Liman. Her feature film credit highlights include PULP FICTION, RESERVOIR DOGS, MR. & MRS. SMITH.


b y  D a v i d  J.  H a s k i n s  a n d  D o n  T y l e r

BOHEMIA is about the life of author Henry Miller after he was labeled a pornographer. What did a man both vilified and revered in the urban jungle want with a life of isolation and hardship on the hostile ridges that are the coastline of California’s iconic wilderness Big Sur? Testing man’s need to both escape and belong, this is a visceral exploration of Henry’s time in Big Sur. Showcasing the wild landscape and characters that surrounded him, it relishes his journey from naïve urban prick to self-proclaimed holy man and everything in between.

Director Rémy Bennett  (BUTTERCUP BILL) will direct as her second feature. Producing with Orian Williams whose work includes the superlative CONTROL

Dirty Monty is a creative production company led by Rachael Mooney. Projects are selected for their original voice, unique aesthetic, and “marketability”.

Each project on our slate is assessed for its potential in the current market as well as its creative spark.

Our partner producers offer a wealth of experience that is supportive and nurturing, and facilitates steady steps to completion, distribution, and financing.