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Monday, October 22, 2012

[3.00/10] Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

Brief review: 5? Seriously? Let's all hope it's the last, because this franchise really got milked to death. Yes, the original was great gory fun and turned into some sort of modern horror classic, and the first sequel was a passable entertainment as well, but the next three installments, including this one, were just plain awful and rather unnecessary. "Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines" is every bit as terrible as 2009's entry, "Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead", and not at all worth-seeing, unless you are a die-hard gore freak. Pretty much everything about this stupid sequel is wrong, from the wildly unimaginative script, shallow dialogues and stereotypical characters, to the hideous direction, laughably bad make-up effects and below par execution. Moreover, it would be a complete waste of time to mention anything about the storyline, simply because such is lacking. To be able to create a decent plot for a horror movie, you need some fresh ideas, tiny bit of imagination and some inspiration, but obviously director Declan O'Brien didn't think of that, as he delivered arguably the most dull, generic and lazy sequel in the series. No need to mention that such important factors as scares and suspense are completely non-existent, but at least the kill scenes aren't that terrible. Yes, the gore looks quite fake, but there's loads of it, and the deaths are fairly well-executed, and gross enough to please most blood-lusty horror buffs out there.

Overall summary: A couple of cool, yet repulsively gory death scenes aside, "Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines" is yet another unnecessary entry in the already drained franchise, with no plot, zero scares, cheap make-up effects, awful execution, and dumb, poorly-acted characters.

This review is also featured on TVFilmNews.com


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Five? I never even knew about the three in between.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Alex, I reviewed the past three as well. :)

Melissa Bradley said...

LMAO! I love how these Wrong Turn films try to be so serious. My God, you can see the smoke from the ears of those empty-headed actors as they strain their brains to remember their lines.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Mel, it's annoying when such a dumb film as this takes itself seriously, isn't it?
LOL. Well-said, hon, and so true!:)

doctorcarnage said...

These films don't take themselves seriously at all.I think you are missing the point.From the second movie , the wrong turn franchise became a splatter movie , meaning it was all about the gore.Everything you say in your review speaks of that fact.They are homages to classic 70s/80s slasher movies at heart , and apart from the third film in the franchise ( which wasnt that bad in my opinion ) they have stuck to the formula.You all need to lighten up , and learn to enjoy these films for what they are , not for what you expect them to be.
And the original wrong turn a classic??Since when??

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

doctorcarnage, you always leave grumpy comments, and I would lie if I say I appreciate that.
If you have any problems with me or my reviews, don't read them. It's simple as that.

At the end of the day, I can like or dislike whatever I want. And don't tell me I should learn to enjoy such crappy films as these one. I don't mind cheesy fun, but this film is laughably bad.

I think you're the one who should lighten up... you seem aggressive to me.

And just for the record, the original turned into a classic since the year it was released. If it wasn't a classic, there wouldn't be four sequels to it, right?

Take care, and don't forget to take your chill pills.

Kaijinu said...

...wait, so Three Finger survived a hook through the brain?! Okay, there has to be in-joke there somes places...

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Kaijinu, there are hardly any jokes in this joke of a movie. :)

B2B said...

I liked the first 2 movies. The 3rd one itself was just passable.

Nice review, George and keep up the good work :)


Mind Of Mine said...

I have given up on the Wrong Turn franchise. One is awesome and 2 was almost enjoyable. Since then, its not been worth my time.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

B2B, I liked the first one only. The second I thought was mediocre at best, while the third was barely watchable.

Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed my review. I appreciate it. :)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Mind Of Mine, I couldn't agree more.

venoms5 said...

This was a horrifically bad movie and I was pissed at myself for wasting $15 on the DVD. I kind of figured I'd be getting the shaft on this, but heard it was actually pretty decent. Not sure what movie said reviewers had seen, but it obviously wasn't this.

If some folks like it, that's fine, but I was so irritated and the rampant stupidity unraveling before me, and especially in that it was shot in Bulgaria of all places and an entirely European cast doing good American accents. That's about the best thing I can say about it.

However, I think the first movie is the only one I've seen (not seen part 4) that takes itself seriously. The others (particularly part 2) were trying to make it comedic in a Peter Jackson DEAD ALIVE vein. Part 3 didn't even try to be a horror movie, it was just horrible. Even so, I think it's telling when filmmakers "intentionally" make these stupid, mentally defunct "movies" and then reviewers cover for them by saying "I'm supposed to like it because it's intentional crap."

There's more and more of this sort of garbage surfacing here in the US that "we're supposed to like" and it's one of the main reasons I tend to avoid newer movies at my own site because of wastes of shelf space like CHILLERAMA and V/H/S to name two.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

venoms5, it seems we share the same opinion about this crap of a movie, well, maybe apart from the fact that I still think these franchise takes itself seriously in general, and that's the only thing that makes it fun to watch.
To mention the amazing Dead Alive when speaking of these films is a crime. No offense! :)

Shot in Bulgaria? Seriously? I had no idea it's been shot in my country, so thank you for letting me know. Having said that, that kind of explains its cheap look and amateurish acting. LOL!

Didn't think VHS was that bad. It was definitely overhyped, but nothing that terrible.

Your site is amazing as it is, so keep up the great work! ;)

venoms5 said...

On the DVD extras, the director said he was aiming for a DEAD ALIVE feel for his movie, or at least in the death scenes. From what I understand, the last three movies were all shot in Bulgaria.

Yes, I absolutely hated V/H/S and was so shocked at how awful it was and that I paid $11 for the PPV after so many review sites praised it to high heaven. Just my opinion, of course.

THE POUGHKEEPSIE TAPES is a far superior FF movie, and one that deeply disturbed me in ways so many of this current crap crop of horror hasn't been able to consistently do in my book. And yet it remains unreleased.

Meanwhile, more movies like WT5 will be made, and it looks like a part 6 will happen.

I saw the first film in the theater THREE TIMES. I loved it. Some palpable suspense and a great atmosphere that recalled similar movies from the 80s such as JUST BEFORE DAWN. I never got that same level of seriousness from parts 2, 3 and 5. Haven't seen part 4 and not sure it's worth the effort considering it's from the same director.

If nothing else, wastes of film like WT5 will possibly encourage fans to revisit the first picture to appreciate just how good it really is.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

venoms5, the fore was definitely over-the-top, though not as insanely over-the-top as it was in Dead Alive, but I didn't think once of Peter Jackson's genius horror flick while I was watching this movie, and Dead Alive is my all-time favorite horror comedy.

I loved the first tone too! I've seen it 3 times myself.. well, not in the theater, but.. :)
I was defending it back then (and still do now), because it had so many haters.

It's weird that I haven't heard that these films were shot in my country. I should have know, right? No, I'm not arguing or anything, I'm just quietly shocked that I didn't know. :)

venoms5 said...

Wow. I wasn't even aware the first film had lots of haters!

Don't feel bad, as I wouldn't have known it was shot there had I not watched the extras on the DVD, lol.

And I believe it was Harry who confirmed to me that part 3 was shot there and part 4 in Canada.

Regarding part 5, the Euro performers did a great job with their American accents. That's about all the good I can say about it. And it was my first review for November, lol; albeit on the Dis List.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

not many people loved it. I have no idea why. I quite enjoyed it. :)

I was wondering I you knew I was from that part of Europe? the ugly part... lol :)

You should check out the fourth entry. It was pretty decent compared to 3 and 5.

I have to check out your review.... I've obviously missed it.

venoms5 said...

To be honest, George -- and despite your last name -- I thought you were British! At least I had the European part correct, lol!

And I'll give part 4 a go, but this time I will rent it instead, lol.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

venoms5, I'll take that as a compliment. :)

Well, no, I'm Bulgarian. :)

HorrO said...

Man, I love this franchise! Why... for the "gory fun" you mentioned. Yes, as far as a movie, absolutely terrible. But I love all the blood and guts so this is one of the few franchises I give a pass to. Great review!!!

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

HorrO, really? Hm, I didn't expect you to say that.

I'm a big fan of the originals, but the follow-ups to be more than disappointing. To me gore and guts doesn't necessarily mean success, but I admit that it's fun to watch people getting ripped off :)

Thanks, buddy. Appreciate that.

HorrO said...

Yea, most people don't expect it when I say I like these movies. I think everyone has that one movie or franchise that they like, but most people are like "what the hell do they see in that movie?" Like I said, I mostly like the gore. And I agree, gore doesn't mean it's good.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

HorrO, the gore is mostly good, but for me personally it can't make up for the lack of plot and originality.