9 March 2008


I almost wasn’t gonna post this, so I’m sorry if its crap.

Meaning of Life

Pretty much this "joke" (I subscribe to ArcaMax to get free jokes daily... I am so fucking sad) sums up a lot of changes in my lately:


I would give you my complete "Meaning of Life" but want to save that for my book. Lol. If I ever get away from this stupid computer shizzz.

But basically, life is split into four main points -

Problems/Understanding - without an understanding of the world and how to cope with it, you cannot survive.

Survival - knowing how to avoid disease, battle against competition, the instinct to keep away from anything bad including people etc.

Moderation/Tolerance/Mediation/Assertiveness/Justice/Balance - for every situation and choice you come across, the best way to approach it is with assertiveness (not being completely passive but not completely aggressive - to be neutral but active). You must be able to tolerate a lot of things and ignore stubbornness/denial (a 1st level defence mechanism in basic psychology lol). You should also try out as many things as you can to bring out your inner extrovert, and stop being isolated and quiet all the time (I was always like that until I realised all this).

Influence - how are you going to change the world? How are you going to help people? A quote from Matt Bellamy (Muse) about Atheism made me really think about this - ""Being an atheist means you have to realise that when you die, that really is it. You’ve got to make the most of what you’ve got here and spread as much influence as you can. I believe that you only live through the influence that you spread, whether that means having a kid or making music.""

It really got me thinking - once you’re dead, you’re dead. If you do nothing all your life, the world will exist afterwards as if nothing happened, so it is up to you to try and make as much of an impact as you can.

And of course, these four things form a rich and complex interdependent tapestry. 8-)

That’s my best interpretation of life anyway.
I’ve been working on it for 5 years. :O
I’ve tried to tackle it and improve it in every way that I can, utilising every single experience and situation to perfect this, and I think it is pretty much complete.
My philosophies do go a lot much more beyond this, but I don’t have the time to explain everything I think about. I do record everything I think about, however.

And as I like to think even further after I get used to things, the "joke" above points this out, as does the song "Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" -

"Enjoy your body,

Think about it. If you’ve been born on this planet, you will have been given the greatest gift of all - a mind and a body. And nobody can ever claim these for their own (I mean unless you are kidnapped, but otherwise, you are the sole owner and controller of your body). This means that you should try and use your mind and body in every way, because when you’re dead, you won’t be able to use them ever again. All the opportunities will disappear. Seize every opportunity that comes your way!!!

Okay, so that’s the meaning of life. Right. Next bit.

Futility of Desire
People who know me well will know I am absolutely FUCKING CRAZY about guys and girls. If I see a fit guy I just WANT HIM. But I don’t bloody jump on them, or tell them they are fit or whatever. I can only do that in my mind... LOL!!!!!!

After meeting a few guys and girls I’ve learnt that being a walking emotion (lust/desire) is pointless. If you want to get closer to guy or a girl, treat it like you wanna be their friend. Don’t ever tell they they are gorgeous, but you can drop subtle words about how good they look. If you shout out to people how fit they are (some fucking idiots who’ve messaged me randomly on MySpace AND MSN are like this, and tbh, it does seem weird, OTT and desperate).

So just remember, Friends > Love
Friends are much more important than finding someone to love.

For more inspiration, go to Rachelski’s photosite:

Reality and Fiction
I’ve also had a lot of reality shifts lately... I’ll be daydreaming about an idealistic world or justifying things out in my ming and then suddenly... WOAH... back to reality. I must read "Nausea" by Jean-Paul Sartre (a book about existentialism). Tony was reading it in the first series of Skins. Oh yes he was!!!! AND I MET HIM LOL!

Good Times
Extroversion is taking me over.
I’ve been to 2 gigs already, 30 Seconds to Mars was awesome, NME Gig was awesome, seeing Mitch Hewer was like OMG!!!!!!
Joshiee, Rachelskii and Samed, you are legends =D
Must book more gigs. Any rock gig, whatever.

Thursdays I go Bar 11 to dance a little and see if there are any fit guys...hehehe
Fridays sometimes I go Square, to see the emo kids :D
Sometimes I go Stortford to hang out with some HILARIOUS people.
And OMG I fucking met "aXXo", the movie uploader!!!!! :O
Saturday and Sunday... WORK in Primark :D

I am hoping to join the gym or something, I want muscle. I hate being skinny.



I might try highlights in my hair maybe sometime hehehehe.....

God, I do so much shit on this computer!
I need to listen to more music,watch more films and TV and play more games.

And finally... I need to do college work.


Oh and right now, I love "Moving to New York" by Wombats.

Catch you later dudes!!! GET ME V FESTIVAL TICKETS PLZZZZZ!!!!!!!