“2 hours? It felt Like 3”

For years, I’ve been waiting for this. An actual Assassins Creed Movie. Boom! Since I sat down in front of my x box and played the first assassins creed game I said this should be a movie. It was so original, so ground breaking, so bloody awesome. From jumping stupidly high distance into carts of hay to kicking serious Templar arse, Assassins Creed was the game we were all talking about, so you can imagine the gigantic smile on my face when I saw the posters going up in the cinema for the movie.

It wasn’t long into the movie when my gigantic smile turned to a gaping wound of disappointment, with each passing scene rubbing entire pots of salt into it. How the hell did the director f**k this up? He Had a decent pot of gold to make it, a Hollywood star on bored in the form of Michael Fassbender and some original source material that has inspired a generation, it’s even inspired some kids to learn about history. Something that teachers and documentaries have barley done for hundreds of years. What a massive let down.

Sure, the action Scenes where fantastic and the graphics where awesome, but what film with hundreds of millions in the budget doesn’t have great action scenes. Never have I seen a film be made with so much detachment from its perspective audience. It did have the odd nods to games gone by to keep the fans awake but blink and you’ll miss them. If the film makes its money back it will be because of the pull the games and Fassbender have.

Why did it take so long to turn this in to a movie in the first place? Since the first AC game came out a decade ago every player urged for this to be a movie. Especially in a world where Hollywood grabs as much stuff as possible to milk a film out of.  This whole film was let down by one thing, the story. It was just a clusterf*ck of twaddle and incoherent nonsense. If there is any hope for a successful AC 2 movie, then give it to a writer and director like Paul W. S. Anderson to make. Someone who knows how to take a great game and make an even greater movie.


Utter Crap