Thursday, December 31, 2009

Oh, this should be good.

Welcome to Fellatio and Astroglide Central. The comedic value promises to be enormous.

OH, YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD. So far, new members over there include the depressingly senile Sandy "Everything Stephen Harper does is an accomplishment!" Crux, Justin "Raging Non-Soldier" Hoffer and Dr. Jabba the Roy Eappen. It's like founder Craig Smith sat down one day and wondered, "Is there a place where we could give the most addlepated and deranged Blogging Tories their own sandbox?" And he made it so.


Dear Stephen:

Dear Prime Minister Stephen Harper:


It's just a thought.

Stephen Harper: The man who would (not) be Prime Minister.

With this latest prorogation of Parliament, numerous pundits have accused Stephen Harper of shrieking, pants-peeing cowardice. And while that would be true, the real story here is not of Stephen Harper's cowardice, but his utter indifference to the job of governing. Quite simply, his heart just isn't in it anymore.

Consider that, after his victory with a minority government in 2006, Steve-O had (barring a Parliamentary no-confidence vote) four years to run things. And yet, after less than three years, a clearly bored Harper dissolved Parliament and called another election, effectively resigning his position of PM and walking away, waiting to see what the electorate would do.

Harper wins that election, setting himself up for another four years. Astonishingly, within only weeks, Harper decides he's not all that interested in that whole governing thing again, and prorogues Parliament.

Upon his return, you'd think Harper has his hands full, shepherding the country through a worldwide recession. You'd be wrong as, only a year later, Harper decides once again that running a minority government is hard werk and he'd rather kick back for another couple months and watch the Olympics, but maybe he'll check in once in a while and see how things are going and he'll be back in March, refreshed and all revved up for perhaps several more weeks of intense effort before once again succumbing to terminal ennui.

Yes, he's a coward. But more than anything, Stephen Harper clearly has little interest in being the leader of a minority government. Apparently, if he can't have total and dictatorial control, well, eh, what's the point? If he's not getting his way, his only reaction is to walk away, chill out for a while, then come back to see if anything's changed.

The irony here is that Canada's conservatives are currently mocking Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff, who can't seem to provide a single, compelling reason why he (Ignatieff) should be Prime Minister. What's amusing is that, while Ignatieff can't convince anyone why he should become PM, we have Stephen Harper clearly monumentally uninterested in the position himself. Which leads one to suggest to Mr. Harper -- if you're that bored with being Prime Minister, why don't you wander off and write your hockey book and give the job to someone who actually wants it?

P.S. Oh, and Steve? On your way out, take that useless waste of skin of a Governor-General with you.

Holy. Freakin'. God.

When even the monstrously-deranged Connie Fournier thinks you've gone one bridge too far, you know you've pushed some boundaries.

(Wag of the tail.)

It seems like only yesterday ...

Huh. How ... odd:

Mr. Layton remembers when Mr. Harper, as leader of the Official Opposition, lambasting the Chrétien government's plans to prorogue Parliament back in 2003, to prevent the Auditor-General from reporting on possible abuse of the sponsorship program in Quebec.

“The government will prorogue the House so that it will not be held accountable for its shameful record,” Mr. Harper thundered.

When asked about this apparent double standard, every single one of Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories responded, "I don't get it. What's your point?"

Who will be the first Blogging Tory to go Charles Johnson?

Over the last few years, there have been some entertaining and high-profile defections from the festering swamps of right-wing crazy. There was Balloon Juice's John Cole, who finally had enough of the GOP. More recently, there was LGF's Charles Johnson, who couldn't do it anymore, either. Which inspires the obvious question -- is there a single member of Canada's Blogging Tories who will finally snap from the overwhelming hypocrisy and corruption to say he's mad as hell and won't take it anymore?

I'm not talking about just expressing a couple reservations regarding the creepy fascism of Stephen Harper. No, I'm talking about throwing up one's hands in disgust and walking away. Is there a single BT with an ounce of principle left who's willing to stand up for simple democracy? Or are they all too far gone for that?

That won't happen at the top, of course. No one expects a show of principle from Stephen Taylor, who seems immensely comfortable these days with a buttload of wingnut welfare and as much Stephen Harper dick as he can choke down to keep him happy. But lower down the ladder? Integrity, anyone? Really, it will be amusing to see if there's a single principled conservative left in this country.

And now, we wait ...

Good times at Delisle High.

Calgary Herald journo Michelle Lang dies in Afghanistan. Somewhere, Blogging Tory Kate McMillan is cracking open a cold one and smiling quietly to herself.

: Apparently, a number of Blogging Tories are reporting on Lang's death, and publicly weeping crocodile tears over it. Wouldn't it be amusing to cross-check and see if any of those folks who are allegedly heartbroken over this were over at Kate's earlier, chuckling over murdered journalists and making jokes like, "Journalist. Rope. Tree. Some assembly required."

I'm not interested enough to invest the time to find out, but the hypocrisy sure would be entertaining, wouldn't it?

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Alternative Feces Substitute

The Liberal Party of Canada's bright new failure of leadership, Michael Ignatieff has taken a few moments to reflect and comment on his own redundancy. Typical of the smarmy waffling he has shown in lieu of spine, direction and charisma, the visiting professor talks out both sides of his ass.

"What Canadians want is an alternative to the Harper government, and they want to believe that I can be a good prime minister and give them an alternative government," Ignatieff told CTV's Question Period in an interview that aired Sunday.

But when asked what his biggest mistake of 2009 was, Ignatieff responded that what "(Canadians) didn't want is someone talking about an election. And somehow we got stuck with the idea that we want an election at any price.

Somehow? Somehow! Sweet crippled Jesus on a shortbus. You fucking well came out swearing you'd bring the Harper regime down, then you pissed your pants when the polls tanked and sat in that puddle of your own making and pretended it was comfie and refreshing. Canada, at this juncture, is like a battered spouse. We live in fear of the next outrage Harper might commit but we just don't know how to leave him. And I'm sure chief stroker Donolo whispers to the great man that, yes, Canadians want to believe that Iggy can be a good PM and an alternative to Harper, but there's pretty much nobody else saying it. Hell, some of the
partisan loyalists are beginning to show signs of suction fatigue. But Ignatieff in his own deluded bubble continues to miss the importance of the word he keeps repeating, alternative.

Where is this grand alternative? Where is the variance of policy and demeanour that he imagines he might represent? Its a fucking lie. You can lie to yourself Iggy and your team of greased fluffers can whisper pretty lies to you but don't you dare imagine that you can lie to us and get away with it. We already have a shit spouting liar in chief and your dismal poll numbers reflect the national desire to swap him out for the extra better shit excreted from your facial sphincter.

"We've got a $56 billion deficit. We've got a million-and-a-half Canadians out of work. We've had four years where they had a chance to do something about climate change and the environment and (the Harper government has) done nothing," he said.

The Liberal party is holding a conference in Montreal in March to address such policy challenges as "meeting the climate change challenge without ... harming the economy, getting pension security for Canadians, making sure we get the economy growing again," he added.

Perhaps Canadians can reduce the debt and increase employment by becoming cobblers, a growth industry given the way you spin on your heels. Frankly, the Ignatieff experiment has had nothing to do with forming policy alternatives or addressing issues. Rather it has been one flouncing, failed attempt to
appear to be an alternative instead of just presenting one. You going to erase the debt by becoming woodsy Mike and put out some more Hinterland Who's Who ads? How about battling tough guy Mike, ready to throw down... or run and hide depending on the numbers? And those would be the numbers that crested below the numbers racked up by Dion.

And what's that you're saying about environment there Mike? How do you propose to meet that "challenge" and suck off the oil industry at the same time? You don't have a plan to address climate change, global warming, ground water contamination, acid rain, habitat decimation or anything else that Canada needs to address. Because the economy you don't want to harm is raping money out of filth in the tar sands, so go fuck your self on that one Mike. You are no less a whore than Harper where it counts. You aren't an alternative, you're a dilute version of the same thing. At least Harper has a set of balls as big as his head, he doesn't shrink from his own odious ways, he doesn't pretend that he's in it for anything but power and ego. He may be a snivelling, ignorant little pissrag but Stephen Harper embraces his odious nature, he revels in corrupting and subverting Canada and its values.

And just as we've seen with the feckless centre right Democrats to our south, the castrated, centre right pin heads we call Liberals are wallowing in their own weakness and piddle as right wing interests drive their agenda unopposed. And what prevents our Liberals or their Democrats from stopping them? The simple fact that they are either in collusion or simply wish to replace them in power for the sake of power. You'd be hard pressed to slip a rolling paper thin note of policy between them because there's no honest interest in becoming an alternative. The goal is not to change course but to steer that course, wield power and reap the rewards of same. The reason that I and a lot of Canadians are either sinking into resigned apathy or fuming in anger is precisely because there is no political alternative in this country. We appear doomed to bad governance for the foreseeable future, be it blue or red. So I welcome prorogation of Parliament, let the elected hacks and whores abandon the ship of state, we're no worse off without the rotten creeps squatting on the hill.

Wasn't it just a few months ago?

Sept 28, 2009 (emphasis nad-grindingly added):

Stephen Harper slams Liberals' planned confidence vote as 'irresponsible'

SAINT JOHN, N.B. — The Opposition Liberals are determined to bring down Prime Minister Stephen Harper's minority government Thursday despite Harper's claim, made in New Brunswick Monday, that a "fragile" recovery may be at risk if the country is plunged into its second election in a year.

"Doing anything less than staying focused on the economy is reckless and irresponsible," Harper said. "Trying to force an unnecessary and wasteful election in the middle of a global recession is not in this country's interest."

Yo, Steve! We're staring down the barrel of a $56 billion recession. Any plans?

"Prorogation! See you next March."

Yeah, way to stay focused in the country's interest, douchebag.

Let the deportations begin.

We can start with Michaelle Jean. Unless, by March, she's a fucking Senator.

You have absolutely no idea how much I despise that useless excuse for a human being right now.

: Captain Canada Stephen Taylor puts down his sherry long enough to take a steaming dump on democracy.

WHAT A BUTTHEAD: How stupid do you have to be to have written this?

The case for prorogation is constitutional.

No, Stephen, you twit, it's not. You can't have the case for anything being "constitutional." Being constitutional simply allows you to argue that something is doable. That it's legal. That it's acceptable under Canadian law. Nothing more.

Making a "case" for something involves presenting a compelling reason for why something should happen, which is an entirely different thing, and it's hard to believe that anyone could be so unspeakably retarded as to not understand the difference.

Prorogation! Boo-yah!

A confederacy of dunces.

Kittehs. Going once, going twice ...

If you're local to K-W, these little buggers are at the point where they're ready to be out on their own. They're all on solid food and, if there are no takers in the next 48 to 72 hours, they'll be heading to the K-W Humane Society to be put up for adoption.

It's not even funny anymore.

Make up your own joke.

Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark.

Back here, Blogging Tory Justin Hoffer is shocked by Kathy Shaidle's implications:

As for the link, I've emailed Kathy, asking her to clarify what exactly she meant in that post.

Kathy responds.

I was pretty sure that wasn't going to end well for Justin.

BONUS TRACK: No one does Shaidle like the boys at Sadly, No:

Linked by Malkin in her preliminary draft blame tantrum is Kathy Shaidle, a Canadian wingnut of imperfect renown who attempts an expert dismount from the high horse and ends up flailing limb over limb into a folding refreshments table covered with Dixie cups of Haterade. Shaidle, like Malkin and RedState’s Erick Erickson, among others, is clearly working beyond her ability:

Pull up a chair. Make yourself comfortable. You might be here a while.

Prorogue? Sure, why not?

You can't even be outraged anymore:

Tories seek to suspend Parliament










"Fight them. Fight them. Fight them."

Montreal Simon speaks, you listen.

Sure, what could possibly go wrong?

Yeah, that sounds like a plan:






Let me know how that works out.

Who would be the right person to mock with this?

Welcome to the Manning Centre for Hermetically-Sealed Wingnut Welfare:

Or, for brevity, Stephen Taylor U, Delisle, Saskatchewan.

Violence for thee, but not for me.

Over at Blogging Tory Kate McMillan's "Dead Journalists Amuse Me" Delisle Tattoo Parlor and Laundromat, Kate tries to bring the funny:

Kate's loyal commenters immediately understand their marching orders and weigh in appropriately:

Christians only want to bomb the World with the Bible with the Word of Jesus.
No stoning, explosives or death worshiping allowed.
Posted by: Revnant Dream at December 30, 2009 12:20 AM

The "Religion of Peace" uses bombs to change the world because they serve an impotent god that needs people to defend him.

Radical Christians seek to change the world one heart at a time serving a powerful God that needs no defence.
Posted by: 'biff at December 30, 2009 12:37 AM

In unrelated news, late abortion provider Dr. George Tiller is still dead. Just in case you were wondering.

Well, if you're going to keep track ...

  • Number of Westerners murdered by violent, homicidal Jihadis over the last few days: Zero.

  • Number of Westerners murdered by Mormons over the last few days: One.

Might have to rethink that whole "religion of death" thing. I'm just sayin'.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

One of these things is not like the others.

Who on this blogroll doesn't seem to belong?

Give it time ... it'll come to you.

Ix-nay on the earning-lay, Mike.

There's a (probably apocryphal) story about a highly-regarded rookie NFL wide receiver who, upon scoring his first pro touchdown, celebrated wildly in the end zone. There was all manner of back-slapping, high-fiving, dancing, shuffling and downright gettin' jiggy with it. Throughout all of this, his head coach said nothing.

At the occasion of the second touchdown, there was again all manner of celebratory hoopla, accompanied by the receiver's new carefully-choreographed victory dance that he'd obviously been practising. And once again, the head coach held his tongue.

When the third touchdown produced even bigger and better festivities, the head coach finally called the youngster over and said quietly, "Son, you have a bright future in this league. But if you really want people to think you're a threat to get in the end zone every time you touch the ball, you might consider not making it seem like such a major accomplishment when you do."

Which brings us to this piece by Impolitical (from whom the post title is shamelessly stolen), where we learn that Michael Ignatieff admits that he is "learning" stuff.

Memo to Michael Ignatieff: We don't care about your ongoing journey of personal discovery. Instead of explaining how you're growing into your position, howzabout you act as if you simply belong there? It's just a thought.

About that whole "fascist" label ...

Dear useless, sycophantic, hermetically-sealed Blogging Tories:

If you don't want us to describe Stephen Harper as a thug, bully and dictator, please ask him to stop acting like one.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

I'd give 'em a left, and a right, and ...

Blogging Tory Justin "Raging Weightlifter" Hoffer can't wait to kick someone's ass with someone else's foot:

If Obama stands with freedom, he will order the US navy to send aircraft carriers into the Persian Gulf. Those carriers will then strike down the Iranian air force and destroy the main military headquarters. Green Berets will be dropped in with weapons and ammunition to train the Iranian people how to fight. The Iranian people will do the rest.

Continued Justin, "But before the troops go in, they should find the Amulet of Yendor, which will grant the wearer 16 hit points of invulnerability. And the mystical cloak of Amon-Ra, which clouds the minds of one's opponents. With those, the invasion cannot fail. Dammit, Mom! We're out of Dr. Pepper again! And for the last time, it's Cheez-Its, not Cheez Nips! What's the point of making a list if you're not going to use it?"

I FEEL SUITABLY CHASTISED: Yes, perhaps it's a tad juvenile to be mocking someone who has publicly admitted to suffering from psychological problems. On the other hand, it makes one wonder whether someone like that is really the kind of person you want to be presenting as one of the public faces of a blogging aggregator representing the current governing party.

Is anyone actually running the Blogging Tories web site these days? And if so, are we allowed to ask if there is any filtering whatsoever being done on who gets to blog under that banner? I'm thinking that if someone publicly fesses up to not quite being all there psychologically and emotionally, maybe he needs a bit of a vacation from speaking on behalf of Canada's Conservatives.

It's just a thought. I'm trying to be helpful.

Sorry, what was the job description again?

So what's the deal with the PMO? Oh:

1. The Role of the Prime Minister’s Office

The PMO is headed by the Chief of Staff to the Prime Minister, and is primarily concerned with advising him or her on political strategy, priorities and liaison, as well as on the political dimensions of policy initiatives, and other issues under consideration by Ministers.

Other principal functions of the PMO include:

* coordinating the Prime Minister’s agenda;
* scheduling and arranging the Prime Minister’s travel plans;
* providing communications services, including preparing speeches and other public statements, and keeping abreast of the Government’s communications activities;
* briefing the Prime Minister in advance of House Question Period, press interviews, meetings and conferences; and
* providing advice on Governor in Council appointments (senior public servants, heads of agencies, Crown corporations, etc.).

And acting like petulant, childish, poo-flinging douchebags. That, too.

The above bit of journalistic fluff has been brought to you by the Jane Taber "Why I'd make an awesome Senator" campaign.

Monday, December 28, 2009

An idiot and his money ...

... well, I'm sure you know the rest.

The irony will make your eyes bleed.

Via Dammit Janet:

You can see why Twatsy's so smitten.

I'd like to thank the Blogademy ...

I'll definitely have more to say about this. Heh. Indeed.

"But ... but ... but ... somebody else!!"

Depressingly predictable:


I think we're getting a sense of the answer.




Not quite 48 hours after a Nigerian man -- who got a visa to enter the United States from the Bush administration -- unsuccessfully tried to kill Americans, Pete Hoekstra, one of Congress' more offensive buffoons, is going on national television to blame the Obama administration.

A commenter has a reasonable rebuttal:

The appropriate follow up question would have been: "Rep. Hoekstra, would it be fair to blame the Bush adminstration for 9/11?"

At which point the goalposts were moved, the topic was changed, and many, many bright shiny things were discussed. At length.

Sometimes, accuracy is inherently unattainable.

Blogging Tory "Back Off Government" casually rewrites history:

An attempted terrorist attack on an airplane filled with - lo and behold - innocent bystanders. Except that this attack was foiled by passengers taking the initiative and wrestling the terrorist to the ground.

*Sigh*. No, it wasn't. It was "foiled" by the sheer incompetence of the terrorist, who was apparently allowed to carry on enough explosive material to be lethal, and only failed because he didn't detonate it properly.

If you want to debate this issue, fine. But at least have the decency to not invent crap out of thin air to do it. Is that really too much to ask?

Apparently, it is.

As God is my witness ...

... what the hell to do with this?

Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 16:54:21 -0600 (CST)
From: Kate>
Subject: [cbr] This town is so cool

... About the only thing I can't get in Delisle is laid.

Apparently, even in Saskatchewan, they refuse to date outside of their species. Good for them.

"I'll give 'em a left, and a right, and a ... AHHHHHHH, SPIDERS!!!"

Kathy "Five Feet of Arnie and Ball-Gag" Shaidle will kick your sorry, terrorist ass:

Sometimes the only thing keeps me alive since 9/11...

is the remote chance I might one day find myself in the position to rip someone like this apart with my bare hands.

Or (via Dr. Dawg) maybe not so much:

I'll start reading the post again when they fire Dr. Dawg.

Posted by: Kathy Shaidle at December 27, 2009 8:15 AM

Yes, I'm sure the terrorists live in daily fear of someone who's too pants-pissingly afraid to read a dissenting point of view. I suspect that they do not fear for any of their body parts. On the other hand, when Kathy comes home in that kind of mood muttering about painfully removing other peoples' body parts, I'm betting Arnie dies a little inside.

The first rule of holes, Walker, ...

Blogging Tory Walker Morrow, while fighting gamely, is slowly burying himself under his own inconsistencies and contradictions back here:

Ti-Guy - I'm sorry if my trying to engage in a conversation with you has put you off. Perhaps you're simply not used to the idea of a conversation without an echo chamber.

Yes, Walker ... as a member of Stephen Taylor's Blogging Tories, you're just the person to give us a stern talking-to about echo chambers. But do continue.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Victoria's Secret -- the hacker edition.

Someone needs to get away from their computer more often. Oh, wait ... that would be me.

Yeah, it's pretty much like that.

I think I see the flaw in your logic.

What could possibly go wrong?


I can see the defense now: "Hey! Every other Blogging Tory was saying it, too!" There really are some situations for which the phrase "self-correcting" will probably never apply.

I love being right about everything all the time.

Once upon a time, I suggested that Canada's wingnuts pick a position and stick with it. One of:

  • No one was tortured, or

  • Sure they were tortured, but who cares?

Apparently, Blogging Tory Walker Morrow has moved on comfortably to phase two:

This is just getting ridiculous

My latest for the Libertas Post blog, talking about the Afghan detainees 'scandal', and the Tories' absolutely idiotic and childish response to what should be a relatively nothing issue.

Predicting how these people will react has become so little of a challenge, I'm actually thinking of trying to guess the words they'll use. At least there would be some sport in that.

Blogging Tory Kate McMillan: Wishing violent death on people this holiday season.

That's our Kate:

Kate is referring to this piece by Audrey II, who follows up here and here. I particularly like Audrey's catch of "Five Feet of Arnie Strap-On":

But regardless of what one thinks of Kathy Shaidle, one can at least give her credit for recognizing that she is now utterly unemployable by any remotely meaningful media outlet and has finally descended to her appropriate level of mediocrity and spittle-encrusted hatred.

It's a lucky woman who's found her proper station in life.

Ah, the Denyseitude.

It's been a while since we've checked in on Canada's most prominent IDiot Denyse O'Leary. Let's see just how much whiny stupid she can pack into a single paragraph:

Think of it. I am no longer compelled to fund lethal, focused anti-Semitism with my tax dollars, while the government allows "human rights" Commissions to engage in bizarre practices on the Internet and to persecute pastors, priests and bishops who are only doing their duty by telling people that traditional Christianity does not support the gay lifestyle.

Even for Denyse, that's kind of a record.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Dear Readers Who Are Required To Wear CCM Helmets In Order To Mitigate The Dangers Of Dressing Oneself

Should one arrive at this humble weblog site in a state of fullest dither and dash, smelling of gunnels and threatening to collapse with a debilitating case of the vapours lest the record (such what it am) be corrected, amended and otherwise put to right, there are a few simple steps to take to achieve the very most effective notification of one's distress. Now with extra commas!

Step the First: Read the names of the contributors and select appropriately (this can be tricky, it seems).

Step the Second: Levitate ones cursor over the selected name and clicky.

Step the Third: Once more with the clicky on the link to the appropriate Email.

Step the Fourth: Have a refreshing nap, you have successfully managed a new Learning Strategy!

Then there was cake. Or Jell-O.

LuLu here: I'm going to go with Jell-O -- cake can be quite dangerous for the catastrophically stupid.

I think it's all those sharp corners.

Adventures In Thinkering! (Redux)

Don't judge a bookcover by the cover. No. Wait... go ahead.

In university I spent five semesters as an R.A. for a professor in the architecture department. He taught the mandatory, double credit course on iconography, I picked up on a bit of the jargon. Thus I feel I am as qualified as anyone to perform an learned interpretation of the cover graphic.

The author has established in the title that this work shall offer a course or path that one might follow to achieve a positive result for both student and educator. Breakthroughs in pedagogy await!

Step 1. Open book and follow arrow to Step 1, Subsection 1. Try to put the book in an old cassette deck, perhaps a jaunty Walkman. No wait, that isn't it. Read the book while you listen to tunes. Awesome. No that isn't it either. Read the book into the Walkman. Make sure the Walkman is one that records. Yes. We'll go with that.

Step 2. Hold your headphones above a pad of paper. Nothing's happening. It isn't working, shit. Wait, I got it. Put the headphones on and play back the recording of you reading the book and repeat it to the pad of paper. Maybe just mouth the words. Hmm.

Step 3. No! Play the recording back to yourself and write it down as you go. And look there's a foot long pen as thick as your niece's wrist. Lucky. That way you get a hand written copy of the book that is already sitting right next to you.

Step 4. Pull out the box cutter that was concealed in the rolled over top page of the notepad and turn it into molecules.

Step 5. Molecules!

Step 6. Hide the molecules in the third column of the pad.

Step 7. Jump the molecules around the misprinted field.

Step 8. Pour the molecules into the rectangular hole in the light bulb.

Hope that helped. You're welcome!

Scandalous Update Edition:

Let there be incestuous interlinking!

Yet Another Update, Trombones And Cabinetry Edition:

This post and the first 11 comments originated in February and have defied the laws of physics to reappear here in the afterbirth of Jesus's party day thus proving that global warming/climate change is a hoax. Adscam!

Jason Kenney: Boy meets world.

I don't think Wikio (UK) is doing Jason Kenney any favours. And while you're there, don't forget to vote. :-)

Oh My

Gosh ... who might have seen THAT coming?

Uh oh ... ongoing bad craziness here:


By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS (CP) – 20 hours ago





The stupid. It burns.

How mudfortunate:

It is not easy being Christian in many parts of the world on this the day of Our Saviour's birth.

So, if I read this correctly, one of Canada's Blogging Tories seriously believes that Jesus Christ was born on December 25. How can you even mock these people anymore?

I want Joe Lieberman dead.

Oh, wait, that wasn't me, that was someone else wishing for the demise of a U.S. Senator.

And now we wait for the predictable, pathological liars who will reproduce only the headline of this post while carefully omitting the body. You know it's coming. It's what they do.

P.S. Wouldn't it be awesome to make a list of all of Canada's Blogging Tories who went screeching hysterical over the recent Photoshop of Stephen Harper who simultaneously have public eliminationist "Confederate Yankee" on their blogroll? Wouldn't that have at least a little entertainment value?

P.P.S. Curiously, "Confederate Yankee" who dearly wants U.S. Senator Robert Byrd to please just drop dead is the same "Confederate Yankee" who was, like, totally taken aback last year when someone suggested shooting Antonin Scalia.

Apparently, "CY" has a short memory, eliminationistically speaking.

Ezra wants to lecture you on class and decorum.

And after a petulant and whiny column about how Christians are so gosh-darned hard done by, pathological liar and hypocrite Ezra Levant ends with this bit of breathtaking classlessness:

Those principles are being attacked. Sometimes frontally, as with the latest assault from the Supreme Court.

Sometimes subtly, as with the advent of "seasons greetings" and "winter holidays." There are many solutions needed. But the simplest is to start saying "Merry Christmas," and correcting those who don't.

Good thinking, Ezra, because if someone wishes for you, in all sincerity, a happy holiday or season's greetings, the proper response is to be a total fucking asshole and presume to correct them.

If someone tries that on your humble scribe, I guarantee it would be the last time they tried something so idiotic and condescending.

Dear Ezra:

AFTERSNARK: I am massively amused by the idea that the people who are utterly indifferent to Canadian citizens marooned overseas or war crimes committed when we turn over prisoners to be tortured are the same ones now freaking out when someone wishes them "Happy Holidays."

Fucked up priorities, anyone?

Dear Italy: You suck.


And that's where I stopped reading.

Check back later when another Blogging Tory says something hilariously yet unintentionally self-referential.


One of my all-time fave singer/songwriters.

Sadly, she's not into me, but that's not my fault.

BONUS TRACK FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Embedding disabled by request, but trust me on this.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Yeah, that'll show 'em.


You know what would really show those bastards? Burning your house down. I'm sure it would piss them right off. Seriously. I'd give it a shot.

I sense a pattern here ...

Behold, the dumbassitude.

Christ, where to even begin?

IT OCCURS TO ME TO ASK, Jonathan, that if you claim to have taken your country back, will you finally take ownership of all the bad shit that's going down? You know, like that monstrous deficit? 'Cuz if you really want to claim that you took your country back, then it's way past time for you to show some responsibility for what you've done to it.

I'm waiting.

It's because they're all total fucking idiots, that's why.

Let's pop in on Blogging Tory "Iceman" and see just how awesomely buttfuck retarded a human being can possibly be:

Evidently there is a rumour in circulation that the Prime Minister will request that the Governor General prorogue Parliament in January until after the Olympic Games. While I understand there is a tactical advantage to this strategy, I generally prefer Parliament to stay open for business as much as possible. I strongly support proroguing Parliament when a goof, a Marxist, and a separatist have signed a pact to overthrow a newly elected government. In this current instance of possible prorogation, I have no strong objections. We are preparing to host a major International event in less than 2 months, and I would like the full force of government to get behind it.

I strongly disagreed with Gordon Campbell's past decisions to cancel entire sittings of the legislature, and I do not advocate prorogation under normal circumstances. But it is rare to have a goof, a Marxist, and a separatist sign a pact to overthrow a newly elected government, and even rarer to host the World at an Olympic games. I would like Government ministries to continue operations during this period of time, but I will not be offended or outraged if we pause Parliament for a few weeks.

I particularly like the part where a perfectly constitutional coalition is, in reality, overthrowing a newly elected government.

Stephen Taylor has so much to answer for someday.

Free Me speech!

Yeah, Sarah Palin's really ready for the pressure of the big stage. Would someone please send that Wasilla Hillbilly back to the boonies?

Regarding "CanadianSense" ...

Since I got all hard-ass about this, Blogging Tory "CanadianSense" has not been back here, so I consider the matter closed and you can stop e-mailing me with information about him.

I want to make it clear that he's always welcome back if he wants to participate in legitimate discourse. That decision is entirely his.

Case closed.

Darcey would like to thank the academy ...

I seriously considered having a "Most Outrageous Blogging Tory Blog Post of 2009" contest but, truthfully, I just wandered across a post from earlier this year that is so head and shoulders above the rest that a contest would be superfluous.

I refer, of course, to this. Yes, that would be (at the time) Blogging Tory Darcey Jerrom wishing the Council of Canadians would all die. Sadly (or not, depending on your perspective), Darcey had an attack of lucidity and disappeared that post, but not before the inimitable Dr. Dawg did the honours.

I'm reasonably sure nothing would top that post for 2009, but I could be wrong since all of the misogyny, racism, bigotry, eliminationism and appalling scientific illiteracy over at Stephen Taylor's House of Hate and Stupid starts to blend together after a while. Still, I'm going to have to go with Darcey here. But feel free to correct me. I love being corrected.

That last part was sarcasm. Just in case you missed it.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Dawggy and me.

The fun just never ends:

I almost feel like I should buy a subscription. Almost.

And a Happy Holidays Merry Christmas to one and all.

Who has the best readers? Well, OK, this guy does, too. :-)

Jason Kenney: EPIC FAIL!

The Toronto Star throws wide the doors to the letters section to accept KAIROS-related feedback from ... Jason Kenney:

... I did not accuse KAIROS of being anti-Semitic. What I said was that KAIROS has taken "a leadership role in the boycott, divestment and sanctions campaign (against Israel)." In fact, Toronto Star columnist Rosie DiManno's own research led her to the same conclusion. She wrote that KAIROS has taken "a leading role in divestment, sanctions and targeted boycotts of Israel," and said those who deny that are "disingenuous and dissembling."

Luckily, your humble scribe (uh, that would be me) already disemboweled that particular lie three days ago.

It should impress you how I'm right about everything all the time. It impresses me but, then again, I'm probably easily impressed. Ooooooh ... kittehs!

(Wag of the tail to matttbastard, who also pointed out this. It sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?)


If you aren't following matttbastard, you don't know what you're missing. I also recommend FakeAPStyleBook and ShitMyDadSays.


Geez, Mark, hyperbolize much?

As befits a member of the Blogging Tories, BT "shlemazl" casts a delightfully wide-ranging net:

Just wondering how long it will take for the lefty crowd to get upset about the ACTUAL case of racial discrimation in Bosnia.

Then again... Might take a while - they can't be seen to be siding with them "evil zionists".

Here's a thought, Mark -- given how you and your fellow BTers seem to carefully avert your eyes from all manner of civil and human rights abuses, it's pretty rich to be standing on that moral high ground of yours, lecturing us.

It's very possible, Mark, that Canada's progressives might take some time to get to your particular pet atrocity, but only because they're so busy documenting all of the other ones that you kids choose to ruthlessly ignore.

So here's some advice, Mark -- when you start giving a crap about, oh, Canadian citizens stuck in foreign countries and abandoned by your party, then maybe, just maybe, you can hector the rest of us.

Does that work for you, Mark? Hmmmmmmmmm?

AFTERSNARK: If you really want to know what kind of hypocritical wank Mark is, I offer you this. Apparently, even when I remove vile anti-Semitism from my comments section, it's only a cleverly choreographed act to score "brownie points."

That's why it's pointless to try to engage these people. They are good for mockery, nothing more.

OH, DEAR: Apparently, some people don't appreciate high-quality snark. Movin' on, then.

Dear Reform Party of Canda: At what point are things YOUR fault?

As you can see from that previous post, the entire ideological position of Canada's Blogging Tories can be summed up as, "But ... but ... but ... the Liberals!!" Which inspires us to ask any of these imbeciles: After how many years is it finally your fault?

An American pol (whose name escapes me at the moment) once opined that, when someone new takes power, they normally have a grace period of one year from the electorate to bitch and whine and moan about how everything is their predecessor's fault. But after that year, the electorate isn't interested anymore and wants to see results.

It's now been almost four years since Stephen "Il Douche" Harper took office, and all we hear from his loyal, sycophantic Blogging Tories is "It's the Liberals' fault!" non-stop 24/7. Continuously. Relentlessly.

So it seems only fair to ask: After how many years is it no longer someone else's fault? Really. I want a number. Give me a number. At what point will you folks stop your pathetic buck passing? After how many years will you finally stop blaming someone else?

It's a simple question. I just want a number. Can you do that?

There are no words.

Seriously, what snark could do this justice? When history is written, it will not be kind to Stephen Taylor.

The entertainment value just went up a notch.

For the love of Mutt, Sandy, pick a blog and stick with it!

P.S. Why, yes, I am right about everything all of the time. But you're all used to that by now.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Any interest in a free Linux seminar over the holidays?







The true face of cowardice.

Here you go. If I sincerely want Stephen Harper to go to prison as a war criminal, does that make me a bad person?

Who is Blogging Tory "CanadianSense"? Yes, I want to know.

*Sigh*. I hate this. Seriously, I really, really hate this. But there comes a point where one stops being Mr. Nice Guy and goes on the offense.

Apparently, sock puppet, useful idiot, harassing cyber-stalker and Blogging Tory "CanadianSense" has decided to move into my comments section and set up shop, for no other reason than to leave comments along the lines of, "Blar har har! Stupid, coward leftard! Blar har har!" And even after it's been made clear that he(?) is not welcome here, his harassment continues unabated. So here's the deal, but make sure you read all the way to the end. There are rules.

I want to know who CanadianSense is. The works. Everything. Name. Address. Place of work. All of it. Because it seems that, if CS (as I will refer to him from now on) has chosen to make himself comfortable in my comments section, then it seems only fair that we be on a more intimate, first-name basis, wouldn't you say?

Now let me emphasize that, ordinarily, I couldn't possibly care less about the identity of another of Stephen Taylor's drooling sycophants. But CS has decided to make this personal by dropping in and acting like a petulant cretin, and dropping his steaming turds where the rest of my readership is trying to have a conversation. And that's where my civility ends.So if he insists on sticking around, then it's only fair that we be able to chat with him face to face (or name to name, as it were). Which brings me back to my original request -- I want to know who this person is. But here are the rules, and they're important.

Whatever you discover, do not, under any circumstances, leave it in the comments section here. Anything you learn is for my eyes only, and you shall e-mail it to me, where I will keep it appropriately private. And if CS (wisely) decides to bugger off, then I will consider the matter closed, none of that information sees the light of day, and we all move on.

On the other hand, if CS chooses to stick around and annoy all of us, I will consider that implicit permission on his part that I am free to post whatever I learn about him wherever and however I please.

As a head start, what we (allegedly) know about CS from his profile is that he is based in Oakville, and that he's in marketing. And if CS takes the hint and pisses off, that's all you'll ever learn here. But if he elects to continue to make an ass of himself, then I will use what information I get to level the playing field. For example, it would be interesting to see how well CS's career in marketing goes once it gets out that he's a creepy, harassing, abusive cyber-stalker with a disturbingly violent streak. But I get ahead of myself.

So, one more time -- if he hits the road, then this is over and we all get on with life and do what we do best, which is to mock the intellectually less gifted. If he chooses to stay, then I introduce him to the world.

Does that sound fair? I think it sounds fair. Now go forth, and let me know what you find. I'll be right here.

P.S. Just to be clear, I have never read CS's blog, I've never commented over there and -- to the best of my knowledge -- I've never even linked to him (I could be wrong, but my regular readers can testify that he's not a regular target for mockery). So CS's assholishness is entirely self-driven. I just wanted to make sure you knew that.

: It's been brought to my attention that the only reason CanadianSense has been relentlessly commenting here and insulting people is because he's been egged on by one Patrick Ross. So I'm going to adjust the conditions ever so slightly.

If Patrick comments here again, I will post CanadianSense's personal information online. That seems only fair since CS wouldn't even be here but for Patrick. I'll let those two work it out how they'd like to handle this.

Can someone sue Ezra Levant?


The perpetual boorishness of Kate McMillan.


Here's the actual YouTube:




Think about it.

Just cuz.

Robbie Robertson lays down some wicked licks while some other non-descript loser tries to keep up.

I'm just sayin' ...

I swear, CC HQ is like a Google magnet. Seriously.

Thank ya, thank ya very much.


Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Intellectual discourse with every Blogging Tory you've ever met:

Sure, let's talk about civility.

Canada's Lowest Common Denominatrix Kate McMillan to Dr. Dawg:


You know, I'm betting that if someone on the left had said that about someone on the right, the Canadian Douchebag-o-sphere would have been screaming with rage about it for years to come. It's kind of like telling Dr. Dawg to fuck himself and his grief. And yet, curiously, everyone in Canada's Wanker-sphere seems quietly indifferent to it. How ... odd. And yet, how ... predictable.

Check back tomorrow when we Lefties are once again lectured on civility. Or something like that.

Memmmmmmmmories ...

Once upon a time, Michael Ignatieff simply stated that he would not categorically rule out an increase in the GST, and there was much shrieking and yowling in the Canadian Idiot-sphere, including dishonest accusations that Ignatieff had vowed to raise the GST. Hmmmm ... what ho?

Harper hopes carbon tax not in Canada's future, but won't rule it out

OTTAWA - Prime Minister Stephen Harper has refused to rule out a carbon tax for some time in the country's future, sending Conservative spin doctors scrambling to reframe his comments.

Stephen Harper has promised to impose a carbon tax on the country. You read it here first.

: Mentarch does the heavy lifting.

A job well done.

Apparently, it is done. In exchange, we will need more kitteh pics. There's always a price to be paid.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

So Nice...

Heh. Indeed.

Mark has a point:

If Kate has an objection to Dawg's interpretation, then why has she tolerated without clear comment on her blog otherwise all the bloody comments celebrating the murders of journalists? Here's a tip, Kate: If your readers think you are saying it, then a judge is going to agree with Dawg too.

Quite so. Put slightly differently, if the vast majority of your commenters are howling, "Damn right, Kate, I too enjoy the violent deaths of journalists!" and you refuse to correct them, it's going to be tough to argue that that's not what you were getting at.

More on this later.


Yes, Kate ... why don't you go into battle to protect your reputation? Seriously, is anyone in the Batshit Crazy Wingnut-o-sphere still deranged enough to want to tussle with Dr. Dawg? Last time I looked, that never ends well.

: Oh, man ... this has MASSIVE potential entertainment value. I would like to put Canada's Progress-o-sphere on full comedy alert to start collecting their favourite Kateisms over the years. You know, where she publicly asked drug addicts to kill themselves, that sort of thing.

Screenshots would probably be a good idea.

NOW HERE'S WHAT'S WEIRD: Frankly, it's not at all clear what has Kate in such a panty-bunching snit. Dawg simply suggested that Kate was quietly cackling with glee over the murder of dozens of journalists, and anyone who's followed Kate with any regularity over the years would not find that attitude of hers surprising in the least.

Kate McMillan is the undisputed queen of Canadian bloggysphere eliminationist rhetoric (well, OK, Kathy Shaidle would give her a run), and taking pleasure in the misfortune, injury and death of people with whom she disagrees ideologically is, quite simply, Kate's entire shtick. It's what she does; it's just Kate playing to her drooling, mouth-breathing base. So for her to take offense to someone suggesting this now strikes me as just plain odd.

Kate McMillan's built her entire online career on wishing ill or death on entire demographics. For her to get all snippy when someone calls her on it seems wildly inappropriate.

BONUS TRACK: For someone who finds dead journalists mildly entertaining, Kate seems to have no problem taking an MSM gig when she can get one. I wonder what her fellow National Posties think of her opinion of them.

Time to dig deep, kids: Part deux.

First, before you read any further, nip down to the earlier post and, if the spirit so moves you, make a donation to someone who needs it. I'll wait. Dum de dum dum ...

You're back. And in this season of generosity, if you still have some left over, let me re-introduce you to the CC HQ Beer and Kittehs Paypal button up there on your left. It's for those of you who have, for so long, enjoyed the ad-free snark and towel snapping here at CC HQ and want to show your undying appreciation for the difference we've made in ... in ...

Oh, hell, it's for those of you who have been entertained, and CC is down to his last bottle of Macallan Elegancia, and I'm thinking that, with Lindsay's recent ceiling-related woes, I can take him out over the holidays and treat him to a beer or nine. And these little beggars are probably going to need another bag or two of premium kitteh food any day now. Like today.

So get in the holiday spirit and help us keep CC HQ ad free. God knows, I'd hate to start plastering it with "Plenty of Fish" ads and have to make more Ezra Levant jokes. That would be just cruel.

And I need more Scotch. That, too.

PARTY-FLAVOURED AFTERSNARK: I'm in the vicinity (K-W) for the holidays, geeking out but still on the lookout for a sociable beer or two. I have my hands full, geekily speaking, being the technical editor of one upcoming Linux book and the technical reviewer of another and looking after teh KittehMash, but I can still be persuaded to hie myself somewhere local if anyone wants to organize something. Preferably involving alcohol.

You know where to find me.

Time to dig deep, kids. Somebody needs you.

Scott Tribe has the details. Do it for the kitties.

AND HERE'S WHERE WE JUXTAPOSE: I just sent $35 that was lying around in the Paypal fund. But have you ever noticed that we Lefties get together and help someone out because they need it, and wankers get together and help someone out because they're being sued for libel and defamation and want to cover their legal bills?

I just thought I'd mention that.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Outrage open thread.

I'm tired. Your turn. What's the stupidest thing you read today?

Rosie DiManno: Useful idiot.

Most of the time, The Star is worth reading. And then there's the screeching retardedness of Rosie DiManno. I'm assuming The Star has a journalism program for the intellectually deficient, just so they can feel like useful members of society.

WHAT A DOUCHEBAG: Try to believe that anyone could write something this unspeakably inane:

Let's try to be fair on one point. Immigration Minister Jason Kenney didn't explicitly accuse KAIROS – the Toronto-based ecumenical activist group – of being anti-Semitic in remarks last week at the Jerusalem-hosted Global Forum for combatting anti-Semitism.

What he said was: "We have defunded organizations, most recently, like KAIROS, who are taking a leadership role in the boycott, divestment and sanctions against (Israel)."

Hmmmmmm ... DiManno is technically correct. As long as you read only what she quoted above. Hey, I know, let's look at the context, shall we? Here's Kenney, in somewhat fuller glory:


"We have ended government contact with like-minded organizations like the Canadian Islamic Congress, whose President notoriously said that all Israelis over the age of 18 are legitimate targets for assassination. We have defunded organizations, most recently like KAIROS, who are taking a leadership role in the boycott. And we’re receiving a lot of criticism for these decisions. I can’t recall how many times I’ve been sued for some of the decisions that we have taken, but we believe that we’ve done these things for the right reasons and we stand by these decisions."

No suggestions of anti-Semitism there, right, Rosie? Fuck, what an imbecile. Can someone just hit her with a shoe?

YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO ACCEPT IT ... Unsurprisingly, DiManno is such a gutless hack that that article doesn't allow comments. On the other hand, it does allow you to "Report an error." So your job is to, naturally, report an error -- namely, that DiManno dishonestly stripped the context of Kenney's remark and that she's a lying douchebag.

Go wild. And, above all, do not be polite.

And here's where we juxtapose.

It's not the increasingly frequent links, it's the hilarious difference in the perspectives:

OK, THIS IS GETTING CREEPY: Two links in one day? Someone at the Times is a fan.

Or a stalker. Probably a stalker.

Excuse me while I make shit up.

Shorter Blogging Tory Jonathan Narvey: "It's absolutely outrageous when people accuse Stephen Harper of being just like Hitler. The fact that the word 'Hitler' isn't actually used anywhere should in no way lessen the impact of my argument."

Because IOKIYAC (It's OK if you're a conservative).

Once upon a time, there was a loud-mouthed, anti-choice whackjob named Ed Snell who got pushed off of the car-top platform he built so he could overlook a security fence and shriek at pregnant women who were entering an abortion clinic, and we of the Left really couldn't muster much more than, "Yeah, whatever, he's a nutcase who was harassing women and we'd rather invest our sympathy elsewhere," and oh my Lord, we of the Left were horrifically callous, mean-spirited, genocidal animals due to our total lack of concern for a deranged misogynist like Ed Snell.

Fast forward to Canadian conservative Nick "Ghost of a Flea" Packwood, and his obvious delight in some wholesale skull-cracking:

I also want to second this sentiment.


The difference, of course, is that those dirty, smelly hippies deserved a good beating, and Ed Snell didn't. I'm glad I could clear that up for you.

No, stop, you're killing me!

Blogging Tory "Back Off Government" brings the irony:

A Cardinal That's About To Be Silenced

Welcome to Hugo Chavez's Venezuela:

"This is a very complex issue, but there is no doubt that there are people in prison simply because they are accused of some crime simply because they do not agree with the political agenda of the national government..."(link)

There's only part of Cardinal Urosa's remarks that I disagree with. This isn't a "very complex issue." He's being to generous. It's very simple. Hugo Chavez is a power maniac that is recklessly bringing his country to ruins.

Damn straight, because here in Stephen Harper's Canada, you need never fear any sort of vicious retribution based on your ideological or political position and ... and ... oh, wait.

Never mind. My bad. Carry on.

P.S. The description of someone else being a "power maniac that is recklessly bringing his country to ruins" is just a bonus, wouldn't you say?

And this is why we don't actually try to engage them intellectually.

Over at Scott Tribe's, here's commenter "Roll Tide" showing up with an attitude and a boatload of ignorance:

Kairos has a history of not only anti Israel activities, but siding with the hard left on a host of issues. It ought to be defunded from the taxpayer.

Within four minutes, Scott brings the reality:

“Mr. Kenney is confused. He is confusing the “Kairos Palestine Document” with Kairos Canada. As far as I can tell from information readily available on the internet, these are two different creatures and unrelated. Kairos is a word used by a number of different organizations names. Mr. Kenney needs to do his homework.”

Having almost a full 24 hours to absorb this new information, Roll Tide drops in again:

Mark my word. Christian Reformed Church (CRC) funding of Kairos will be history. I know too many CRC members (my in laws for one) that had no idea their denomination was funding such a extreme ultra left wing political group. This is a case of Synod slipping one by its membership. Grand Rapids will have a hot potato next summer.

To paraphrase an old saying, trying to educate a wanker is like trying to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time, and it annoys the pig.

AFTERSNARK: It's fascinating how only hard left activities should be "defunded from the taxpayer." Have you noticed that? I've noticed that. I'm sure it's not just a coincidence.