The National Guard: Fighting Pollution, Not Insurgents

It's the time of year when juniors in Houston high schools, like juniors everywhere, are getting mailboxes full of pamphlets and crap from colleges and other places determined to be a part of the kids' future. (Seeing as how Teh Kidz do everything on the net these days, it can seem an astounding waste of resources, but -- as those same kids say -- "whatevs.")

Among the institutions trolling for young flesh is the National Guard. We have in our hand one of the pamphlets that's going out.

"Benefits For You And The Environment" is the cover headline, over a picture of kids in recycling t-shirts gathering up plastic bottles dropped in the middle of an airy, green park. Nowhere does it say who's the subject of the pamphlet, but open it up and you'll see the hed "The Guard Is Green!", complete with exclamation point.

"The Army National Guard is a perfect way to combine your commitment to a sustainable future with a promising and exciting career," it says.

The perfect way? Okay.

The pamphlet goes on, showing camo-clad soldiers looking at test tubes or putting up solar panels, displaying a map of the U.S. with National Guard projects highlighted  (In Texas it's "Wildlife Protection"), and listing all the rewards you'll get for joining the Guard. You can even get a "eco-friendly" t-shirt or bag just for asking for more info!

Nowhere does it seem to indicate you might be expected to possibly, you know, get shot at.

Number of rifles or other arms shown: None.

Mention of deployment overseas, much less in hostile territory: Zip.

We guess any pictures or prose related to that would have wasted precious natural resources.




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