Saturday, April 4, 2015

PuppyZilla Redux: They're Baaaack. They're Blue. And This Time They Brought Friends.

What's blue and weighs twenty pounds? 

I don't know. What? 

This dining room chair. 

Fashionable. Doesn't poop in your shoes. But weak-sauce.

Which looks lovely and is guaranteed not to pee in the corner but is pretty lame as far as companionship goes. 

What else weighs twenty pounds and is blue? 

I'm thinking. And maybe peeing at the same time...

This bowling ball weighs sixteen pounds, so it's close. 

It looks like it's saying 'holy pudding, those are HUGE puppies'

It also won't eat your socks, so that's a plus. But it stinks at cuddling.

Do you know what else is blue and weighs twenty pounds?

This game is starting to get seriously old, people. Enlighten me.

2.3 gallons of the warm Caribbean Ocean. 

From which this blog is NOT being written, FYI. 
Doesn't that look nice? You can't really bring it home and love on it in your home but hey, it doesn't need regular vet visits either.

Can we borrow that water? We could use some in here...
Okay, so what ISN'T blue but weighs about twenty pounds and is sort of like an eleven week old puppy? 

Howdy. Got any greens? Roughage? We're a little hungry. 
Five thousand locusts. Which is sort of like a mini-swarm. Puppies, like locust swarms, tend to chew through anything in their path, are not housebroken, and never seem to sleep. Unlike locusts, though, puppies can be trained though it takes a while. Puppies, like kids, go through different stages of development and you just sort of have to hang through them. 

You did not just compare me to a swarm of locusts. 

Do you know what else is not-dissimilar to eleven week old puppies and weighs twenty pounds?

Picture a second one as we couldn't find a picture of two weedwhackers together. 
Two weedwhackers. We did mention puppies teethe and chew everything in their path, right?

That is such slander. Nom nom nom.
The moral of this story is this: Puppies are awesome but not for the faint of heart. They're a ton of work. Particularly enormous moose puppies that, while adorable, are going to grow up to be some honkin' big pooches. But if you find yourself up for such a challenge, we have a litter or drop-dead adorbs pibble babies. Check them out.

Hey guys, let's have a 'who can poop in the sneakiest spot' contest. 
If you look at them and think 'Ermaghawd! The adorable! Must....have...but...can't...handle....puppy....bedlam', fear not. We've got you. 

Unlike puppies, I'm not a tornado of pee and destroyed personal items. 
We have sweet Cody, a play-group maestro who likes car rides. He's fully grown and a pocket pibble - he only weighs abut 40 lbs. We also have his buddy...

All the snuggles, none of the chaos....
The most beautiful Farrah-Sweetness. She also is a party animal in our pibble play groups and is a shorty-snortie, too. Cody and Farrah don't need to go home together and both of their adoption fees have been sponsored. 

And of course we cannot forget our most beautiful makeover story...

Have you seen my tongue? It's ADORABLE. 
Fully-furred Sweet Potato is an older pup who's already housebroken, loves other dogs of all sizes and really, really, really likes kids. 

Whether you're up for a puppy of mass destruction or a sweet older pooch, we've got you. If you want 5,000 locusts, a weedwhacker or a bowling ball, that we can't help you with. 

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