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How has addiction indirectly affected you?

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by kwp731, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. kwp731

    kwp731 Member

    Addiction doesn't just affect the abuser, but family, friends, and loved ones as well. My brother (22) started smoking marajuana when he was 12 and that led to other illegal drugs and substances. It has affected me (18) in ways that I had never realized. I have had issues with anger and relationships throughout my life. I am now just starting to realize that the struggle of dealing with my brothers addictions has affected my entire life. I am now just starting to seek therapy for this through support groups and talk therapy. How has it affected you?
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @kwp731... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing. We're glad you're here.

    You are so right. The ripple effect of addiction touches everyone who knows and loves the addict. And from my experiences, siblings of addicts are among the most affected people. So it's a great thing that you are seeking therapy to help you out.

    My son struggled with addiction for 10 years, and our entire family struggled right along with him. But we learned through Al-Anon that we didn't cause it, we couldn't control it, and we couldn't cure it. That helped us get our lives back on track.

    The most important thing you can do is focus on you. Do everything you can to help deal with the pain and suffering your brother's addiction has caused you.

    Thanks again for sharing.
  3. Amelie Santos

    Amelie Santos Active Contributor

    My dad's addiction to alcohol cost him his life, which means I've now had to live without him for 14 years. My mom had to accept that she was a widow at 47. My brother had to face his teenage years without a strong male presence in his life. We miss him terribly, and we pray for his soul every chance we get. We pray that he has found the peace that had eluded him on earth. We pray that there is a God, that heaven is real, so that one day, the four of us will be together again.
  4. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    My partners addiction to alcohol has destroyed our relationship. He choose the alcohol over me and our life together. I spent so many nights crying and begging to no avail. It drug me down to a place I had a hard time coming back from. I have to learn to focus on me and my health. I needed time away for my own sanity. It is difficult living with an alcoholic or any addict.
  5. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    How are you dealing with your brother's situation? His addiction has affected you to the extent that you can get angry, sometimes. It seems like you hate his habit so much that is why you easily get angry. You are the one who is wrong because you are unable to show love. How many times have you ever needed support? Your brother is in that state, right now. Are you willing to give him a helping hand?
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    So true that addiction can affect a lot of people not just the person having an addiction problem. Mostly the ones who are directly affected are the family. It can cause anger and being hard to trust.
  7. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Personally I was never affected for a family member because I have only a sister who has never been addicted, and my parents weren't either.

    However at this stage of my life and after undergoing detox, rehab and recovery, I can see how badly my addiction affected my family. If I would knew such a thing was going to happen, probably it would influenced me to stop timely because despite all past problems I could have with parents or with my sister, I love them so much to wanting to hurt them.
  8. HalfBeard

    HalfBeard Active Contributor

    My oldest cousin and closest and best friend growing up got addicted to marijuana by the time he started college, dropped out, now lives with his mother and works at Shop Rite at the age of 22. As a teenager, my family inevitably distanced us to keep me away from any bad situations and trouble (even though I've never done a drug and my life or had any disciplinary issues).
  9. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    My mom's addiction affected me directly.... by pushing me into addiction. I still feel like a broken toy, something that needs to be fixed. My mom is very toxic, I love her, but sometimes it's so hard to deal with someone who communicates like her... I need to talk things in depth, open up and end it with a hug or something like that. My mom in the other hand prefer to run and avoid ''conflict''. She is no longer an alcoholic, by the way...
  10. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Hello there, @kwp731! Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing. I am glad you're seeking therapy, and support system now. All the best to you.

    As for me, none in my family ever got dangerously addicted to something, and for that, I am truly thankful. My best friend has an alcoholic father though, and somehow, it has already affected her personal relationships.
  11. HalfBeard

    HalfBeard Active Contributor

    Update: Very proud to announce my cousin has been clean for almost three weeks now. I'm incredibly proud of him and hope he can keep it up. Maybe this will be the beginning of him turning his life around. Best of luck to all of those struggling, may this be a beacon of hope for you!
  12. endoftherainbow

    endoftherainbow Active Contributor

    I lost someone that I was in love with to addiction 2 years ago as of this January. I can forgive her, but I cannot forgive myself for not stopping her from it. I feel that there was a way I could have changed things and made her stop what she was doing, but I was afraid to control her, to change her life for the better. And sometimes I can't sleep at night because I feel that she died because I didn't try hard enough to help her. Her sister tells me that I did all I could, but I don't believe I did. So it's affected me directly and indirectly, and even though it's been a few years it still affects me as if it were yesterday.
  13. Jasmine2015

    Jasmine2015 Community Champion

    The addiction to alcohol for my step dad has cost him his family. We have had money stolen from us and even the very ring my grandmother wore before she died. It was to be given to me and guess who swipes it first? Now he wants to play innocent all the while not tell what happen to his own marriage ring, that he pawned it for alcohol money.