Wednesday, September 24

Last week I realized that I am now the older woman dear Mr. Titus was speaking to since I now find myself about eight years ahead in age or eight years ahead in parenting than a lot of mamas. The older woman. Yup, I'm cozy with that. Are you?

Do you know how many young newly married couples would love to be invited into another couples home or how many young mamas would love someone to come alongside them to encourage and teach and tell them to relax? Me neither, but I am guessing that there is a lot since I was one of them and often times still am.

Trying to get my older woman act in motion, I had a casual friend and her two kiddos over today. We've chit-chatted in the church nursery plenty of times and I have wanted to get to know this sweet woman better. Our kids had a blast and one of hers left crying for having to leave the chickens behind. The chicken love was heavy in the air.

Through most of lunch a little one of hers fussed and fussed. I barely noticed but for my friends apologies as she tried to explain having a strong willed, temperamental child.

And there we clicked, she and I.

I understand completely. Wholly. All-encompassingly. I quickly told her how I was once stopped in a parking lot by a well meaning lady as I was trying to peel one child and his tantrum off the library pavement. My friend relaxed then.

I could have told her how on our recent vacation a stranger followed me to our van as I carried a screaming kiddo in my arms, trying to whisper calming, sweet nothings into his ear to no avail. I sat in the front seat of the van holding the wee one, still screaming and the lady stood outside the van staring in. Funny in hindsight. Not so much then, though I'm sure she was well meaning.

A reminder that when God is in in our hearts He helps us use self control and a refresher in appropriate public behaviour and forty five minutes later we were back on the beach with the rest of the family, wee one with a now sunny disposition. Switched back to normal. Yes, it took forty five mintes. We had some relapses.

If you've never had a strong willed child, I understand your shaking of head and clicking tongues and won't hold it against you. If you do, give a nod sister, we understand each other!

It ha always amazed me that children raised in the same environment, with the same disciplines could be so different. And there's definitely a difference between a strong willed child and an undisciplined one. I see you nodding. Its good to not be alone.

So be encouraged. Grab a young(er) lady and have her over. It doesn't matter if the house is a jumble or if there's chicken poop in the walkway.


Emily said...

It always good to hear of other Mama's with strong willed children. Thank you for the godly encouragment.

Lynn said...

Small get-togethers like this are very encouraging, and so much fun! :)


Tamara Jansen said...

It's hard to find time in our busy lives to visit but thanks for the reminder that it's important to make time....

Mrs. S said...

I really appreciated this, Hannah. Our two year old son is what I assume is a strong willed child. He is our first and with only a four week old to compare, we know nothing different.

I once had to apologize to our family doctor during a routine check up. My boy had ripped pages out of a book in his office and then nearly cracked his skull open as he did his 'tantrum flop' when I took the book away. Another time while at the bank with my husband I incurred a severe scratch when our toddler wanted to jump out of my arms but I wouldn't let him. He lashed out in anger with some sharp fingernails. I also know what the stares feel like.

How do you generally deal with tantrums in public and in private? Publicly I find just holding him and removing him from the situation is the most effective. Not allowing him to continue his flailing limbs and body throwing is a must.

Thanks again for this.

Mrs. S

Janel said...

I've been on the lookout for Titus 2 older ladies forever. I have trauma stories from trying to engage some in our first church and being horribly disappointed.

With almost 15 years of marriage and 13 years of motherhood to four, I try to encourage and engage younger women as well.

Excellent encouragement! :)

Sommer said...

What encouragement to know that I am not the only one struggling with a strongwilled, tempermental child. My girl is almost 6 but still will throw quite the fit(thankfully this usually occurs at home not out and about). I often feel that I must not have a disciplined child and yet we try to train her right. It can be very discouraging when we think we've finally gotten it nipped in the bud and then it rears its ugly head again.

Thank you for sharing your own experiences and for encouraging each of us. I have found a sister:-)

Lots of love,

ConservaChick said...

Oh boy, I have had this same reality check. Suddenly I'm not the newly married mom of toddlers, but the veteran parents and wife of 10 years. Where does the time go? I still can't handle being called an "older woman" at 31. ( ;

BethAnn Rivers said...

Thank you for your wisdom. I am a new young mother and wife, The past two years have been huge learn-the-hard-way type of years for me, and i have desperately wanted and searched for older women to give who would offer instruction and wisdom on anything... cooking, parenting a baby, cleaning etc. So many older/wiser women dont offer guidance, i feel like i almost have to plead, and they still dont understand, maybe they think young women of this generation dont care anymore or dont want to know such things... but there are still some of us out there!! Thank you for being a titus 2 woman!