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Let’s Understand the Concept of Boundaries – Psychotherapy 1

We can see several different types of boundaries around us like fences, hedges, wall and other all physical boundaries.  These all boundaries are different from each other, they give the same message. This is where my property begins. In General if I am property owner than I am legally responsible for take care of my property and what happens to it.  Same way personal boundaries define us. These are essentials because this defines what is me and what is not me.  A boundary tells me where I end and other person begins. It leads me towards sense of ownership and ownership motivates me to take care what is mine.



Now let’s move towards concept of freedom.  Freedom is knowing what I am to own and what I have responsibility for. If I know where my property starts and ends. I can freely do whatever I like with it. My friend start taking responsibilities and many different options will open for you.  If I prefer to stay lazy and won’t take responsibilities of life than my options and choices are very limited. A boundary also helps us to define what not my property is and what I am not responsible.  Let’s take an example of general life: We are not responsible for other persons. So boundaries also help us to define what’s good for us and what is bad. We can inhale what’s good and keep the bad out while remaining permeable enough to allow danger out.

Letting Go of Pain 

When someone hurt us in any way, its natural tendency of human being to keep holding the pain inside and close ourselves off from others.  When human being gets abused, for example if i am get abused then my natural tendency will be to reverse the action and keep the bad inside and outside out. If I am not open to let support inside from outside then it can prevent the healing process from occurring.  Always remember it’s always easy hurt those people who haven’t worked through their past pain to allow others to dump more pain on them.

Letting Go of Pain Exercise

Suppose I have bought a new property, I need fences around my property So that for protection. My boundaries also needs gates So that i can let out what is bad and let in what is good when it is offered to me. Consider these questions:

  • What pain is poisoning you from inside? So you want to get out the pain so that it stops you positioning from inside.
  • What Bright things would you want to be able to receive?


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