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The ups and downs of share housing when housemates don't get along

By Lisa Clarke
Quote: "Living in a share house again was a big adjustment". Image: A man's leg hangs out of hammock

A former masonic hall on the Coal Coast of New South Wales has become a battle ground of testosterone.

Two flatmates with differing personalities, expectations and hygiene standards have come to a head and are parting ways.

There's no doubt share housing can be messy. It can get especially so when neither person chose to live with the other in the first place.

Mitch Steele, 35, recently re-joined the share housing scene after a marriage break-up. Leaving his home of Cairns, the musician hit the road for two years to live a nomadic existence, before finally wanting to plant down new roots and be close to family.

"Living in a house again was a big adjustment because I've kind of been living the van life for a number of years," Mitch says.

"So, I decided to do something where I would minimise my responsibilities and commitments, and also so I could save as much as I could. That was my reasoning behind ending up in a share house."

A man sits on a seat in the sun wearing a hat and sunglasses and with his boots up on a chair for a story on share housing.

'We were stuck with each other'

His first share house was the home of a 60-year-old former minister.

"It was just like I was a guest in someone's house, living in his grandkid's room which still had Disney stickers with their names everywhere. That was really odd," Mitch says.

"My underpants draw had Caitlin written on it, next to a sticker of Ariel the mermaid."

After two months he was happy to be leaving but struggled to find a new place that was suitable.

"When I found this place I'm in now, it was just an empty hall."

A local company bought the old building and converted it to add some bedrooms then rented it out. Mitch fell in love with the place because having residential-industrial zoning meant he could play music as loud as he wanted.

"The landlord didn't care what I wanted to do, as long as I paid the rent each week," Mitch says.

Andrew Merryfull moved in around the same time after a split from a girlfriend.

A man leans on a kitchen fridge while another bites into a whole roast chicken for a story on share housing.

"This situation has been a little bit unique in the sense that the landlord picked both of us. I moved in and then three days later Mitch moved in. So, we were sort of stuck with each other," Andrew says.

'You can't tell people what to do'

With completely different personality types and expectations, the relationship has had some ups and downs.

"We're both considerate people, but also quite animated people," Andrew explains diplomatically.

For Mitch, hygiene standards have been a major issue.

"Boundaries about cleanliness in shared spaces is the main thing that can be tricky."

Andrew agrees: "Chores are a funny thing, because you can't really tell people what to do."

A man leans on cases of musical equipment stacked in a room for a story on share housing.

Doing the dishes hasn't been the only contentious issue, with the police being called out a number of times after things have become heated.

"He's sort of kicked me out … there's been the most hectic shit that's happened up here," Andrew says.

"For boys, for men … who are share housing and are doing that sort of more boisterous thing, these feelings and experiences do come out into the light.

'I'll remember it for the rest of my life'

Despite a rollercoaster ride of an experience, Mitch still doesn't look over the past few months negatively.

"The relationship developed as you get to know someone, and it's been a wild time.

"What I have learnt, there are people who are in a share house because they don't have any other option. With myself it's a bit different. It's a choice for me. I'm choosing to put myself in this situation.

"I know that we were put together for a reason. We've both grown a lot from it. It's still been a good experience. I'll remember it for the rest of my life. It's not all bad."

Mitch only hopes that his next roomie likes a tidy house just as much as he does.

In recent months, Andrew moved out of the share house.