Monthly Archives: February 2007

Throw me in a wood chipper

I don't like funerals as a general statement. Outside of not liking them emotionally, in general terms I find the process of corpse disposal offensive — the idea of spending tens of thousands of dollars, as well as valuable realestate, on a corpse, seems completely idiotic (as does pouring the equivalent of 320 gallons of fuel on someone to cremate them — which incidentally makes up 0.2% of all CO2 emmissions on the planet and aerates many other toxic chemicals). But, even atheists do this nonsensical and destructive religious act, in part because the government forces it.

Here's what I want for my funeral.

I want to get stuck in a freezer so I'm completely frozen solid all the way through. Then there's to be a big party in a forest, at the height of which my frozen corpse gets chucked in the wood chipper and I'm sprayed into the forest, where I'll be directly reabsorbed into the latticework of life on this planet. The bacteria in my body that make me who I am will go on living in other animals, and to a small extent I stay immortal… Much better than being embalmed (filled with poison) and placed in a sealed box to ensure that whatever miniscule part of me is left alive will not transition from life to death to life as has happened seamlessly until very recent human history.

Too bad it's illegal to be a part of nature.

Anyway, speaking of funerals, what I dislike more than the concept of funerals is the legal protections that specific forms of funerary practices receive. What I've described above (and even milder variations on it like getting buried on your family farm) would be very illegal in most areas. However, if some rich dude dies, the police escort a huge procession that shuts down taxpayer streets, runs red lights, and so on. Yesterday I was driving down the street and a suited woman stepped out into the street with a big stop sign, in front of the funeral home that always has its hearse parked illegally in front all the time. Oh, speaking of driving:

My truck got towed last week, but their hearse doesn't get towed. What, I transport a living three year old to school, and that's less important than transporting a dead eighty year old guy to get tossed in a hole in the ground???

So anyway, this woman steps in front of me with a big stop sign, literally trying to stop all traffic so their stupid hearse and support vehicles could all leave at the exact moment they felt like it. Fuck that. So I just kept going. I may have even sped up a little. She had to jump out of the street. Seriously, I have no patience for people who think they have special rights to use resources we all pay for (like the roads). That means if you're a hearse, you'd better respect cars, and if you're a car, you'd better respect bikes.

Seriously, next time I see that hearse parked illegally blocking rush hour traffic I'm going to hook my winch up to it and drag it down the street and dump it in the lake.

Three short films

All by the same director:

So start that company already!

I was reading this “top ten ways you know you're an entrepreneur” list, and I was thinking that everyone (except people with a really low or unambitious self-image) would walk away from the list with the impression that they might be. That said, everyone might be so I guess that's fair, but then what's the point in the list in the first place?

The problem with the list is that it leaves out what you really need to be an entrepreneur — fairly relentless drive and almost pathological faith in yourself or your project (the willingness to do unlikely things because you so believe you can help make them happen) I'm saying “yes” to everything on that guy's top ten list, but I don't really feel that I'm an entrepreneur, because I have zero sense for business or corporate management… I really feel like I'm more someone who just likes making things — for example, if I finish my breakfast before Nefarious (um, always pretty much), I doodle pictures to amuse myself and her. That kind of sums me up.

That's her on the right, refusing to eat, and on the left is a doodle that half way through (which is why the eyes are not adult sized in relation to the skull size) she asked me to change to “Captain Jon Cárron” (Jon, but with a new last name for some unknown reason)… I think I need to start doing more life drawing. I'm pretty sure dogs, smart dogs anyway, might be able to draw better than me if a really smart vet gave them thumbs.

That's not a joke, I have a lot of respect for dogs.

Aerial Photos


I posted a new avatar image (also on the right; it's one of two I added today so it won't show as the top one on IAM). I've been stuffing myself the last few days so I managed to gain a few pounds (to about 165 I think). I want to start back at the gym this week and really focus on gaining weight. It's funny… Everyone complains that I don't post heavy people on ModBlog, but then goes and attacks anyone who's underweight. Trust me, and this is coming from someone who spent most of his life overweight, being underweight is less fun. I guess in part because “fat rights and civility” awareness promotion has been so effective, it's considered in poor taste to make fun of someone because they're overweight, but no such poor taste rule applies in reverse.

Anyway… Here's a funny thing I saw on Google Maps — some strange “Escher” like behavior in NYC, where the perspective on buildings changes from block to block. The reason that it particularly interested me is that I don't believe that this is algorithmic — I'm almost certain that this is patched together in a Photo editing application. I don't think this could be done automatically.

There are plenty of places where Google has overlapped different map sources of course… Even inside Central Park there are resolution overlaps for example, where one image has higher quality than another. For example, here's one not far from the pictures above:

That's most likely done automatically because it's just a blurline (that said there's a suspicious distortion in the bottom right building that looks weird to me), but it wouldn't surprise me if pretty much every high traffic location in Google Maps has been gone over by hand… It reminds me of the “college student algorithm” that was said to be behind fractal compression (ie. where a college student sits in a closet and matches up the math by hand).

I prefer fire to burned stuff

First of all, I've been neglecting Shawn, who's got this amazing t-shirt drawn by Wayde Dunn (brilliant scarification artist) for sale only for the next few days to help cover costs for Scar Wars, an important and groundbreaking event that he created and runs. Click the picture to jump to his page.

Speaking of mod-related clothing, I can't remember if I already mentioned it here (probably did), but BMEshop got larger printing facilities, so now when we do prints that can scale up (like the bmezine text on this hoody), they're much larger prints than we used in the past. It might not seem like much, but visually it makes a big change in the impact.

Anyway, on to the real entry…

My RAZR's screen died again. This is the second RAZR to break for me, but at least this one lasted longer… oh… maybe nine months or so. I have dropped it lots of times, but the display actually shorted out just from opening it (straw that broke the camel's back I guess). The phone still works, but since I can't see the display, calling people is a big pain in the ass! So if you want to talk to me, call me and don't wait for my call!

I'm super tired this morning because Jon and I stayed up late last night building the foundation for a new content management system for BME's experiences (basically sticking all the data into a giant customized WordPress setup). As well as better searching and organization, instant updates (so an experience would be posted as soon as it's moderated), new ways to read BME, it will allow better integration across BME's family of sites, will allow people to comment on experiences, will make it easy to edit experiences as needed, and most importantly:

I plan on making all of the textual information (experiences, etc.) on BME/HARD and BME/extreme free. I hope I'm not making a financial mistake (since the members section of BME is what makes the rest of it all possible), but I really believe that people need to have easy access to those stories before they do a DIY procedure and take photos, and I think so some extent it runs counter to BME's philosophy of education and documentation for the public good to keep those stories behind a lock if I don't have to! That said, if anyone thinks I'm making a mistake with this decision, please let me know ASAP.

I posted some cute photos of Mia More on ModBlog last night (click through for the set), and got jumped on for complaining I was single too much (which is funny, because I don't think I said a word about it in that particular entry)… But seriously, people should remember that I write ModBlog in a pretty tongue-in-cheek and exaggerated tone. Don't get me wrong, just about everyone I post I think is gorgeous and I'm sure having sex with them would be awesome (I mean that in a complimentary, non-perverted way), but seriously, I'm not desperate for every girl I post! And I'd say I'm too old for, oh, 99%. Here's my basic priorities these days (and other than Nefarious, this is how they've always been):
  1. Nefarious
  2. BME
  3. Current Girlfriend
  4. Art
  5. Family/Friends
  6. Getting a New Girlfriend

And the sad truth is that you can ask any of my past girlfriends and they'd probably give you a similar list (but they would leave out #6 since that only applies if I'm single). Don't get me wrong, I'd rather not be single, but I really hope I am not giving the impression that I'm just sitting here whining about it. As someone recently commented, the trouble with posting all these beautiful girls is that you don't know them. Hahaha, true. Oh yeah, and to keep this entry from being too male hetero: BMEboys.

See, what I really need (and I think what really needs me in return) is a smart girl that's a good driver and has a good head for new business ventures, taste in art, and as many technical skills as possible. Oh wait, I pretty much had that, messed it up. Oooooooops… Now I'm left with the possibility that I meet someone who can't drive and they wreck my car!

Well, today's a mix of #1 and a little of #4 I think… Like I said, I'm pretty tired, but I think I might mix a few jars of the base colors for the big new painting. Because I use so much paint, it's easiest to make batches of the core colors pre-mixed with the polymers I want to use, in advance.

I finally took a set of photos that I got from Jerome to be framed. It's pretty expensive getting stuff framed! Or maybe I'm just cheap. Anyway, while I was there I also asked what it would cost to have some of my paintings framed. To build something like the last frame I made (basically a 4'x4' square made of two by fours, painted black) would cost $450 to $1500 depending on my choice of materials.

One painting.

That's ridiculous — for that price I could buy a nice table saw to do the corner cuts, and a router to give the moulding I create form. It's insane. I never understand why people routinely have others do things they can do better themselves. I understand taking a load off every once in a while, like having help with chores, going out to supper occasionally even if you can cook better than the restaurant's chef, and so on, but I know for me, if I have to choose between buying an overpriced meal, or a stove and some raw food, I'll buy the latter every time.