Punchy Punitive Punditry Today? – No, Just More Puny Pungent Puns!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yes it’s another selection of those groan-making jokes carefully wrapped up in the thing we call puns.

Enjoy, if you can.



When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.


What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing – but it let out a little whine.


A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability.


Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.


If you give some managers an inch they think they’re a ruler.


Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.


Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.




When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.


Prison walls are never built to scale.


There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.


We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.


I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


The poet had written better poems, but he’d also written verse.


There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.


Ancient orators tended to Babylon.


What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married?

Can’t elope.


For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.


Did you hear about the guy who sent ten puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.




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