Sunday, July 18, 2010


I received the email below from Tasha* yesterday. It nearly broke my heart.

Tasha is begging for help. I'm unable to reply to her directly because she wrote to me using her father's email address.

Tasha, if you read this, please talk to your parents about what you're going through. Please be honest with them. They love you and will help you to get the medical attention you need.

If you're unwilling to tell your parents, please call the telephone numbers below as soon as possible. The person who answers the telephone at those numbers will help you.

Thursday's Child National Call Center/The National Youth Advocacy Hotline:

1-800-USA-KIDS (1-800-872-5437)


Boys and Girls Town National Hotline:


If anyone is able to offer Tasha advice, please leave a comment on this post. Thanks so much to all who comment.


"hi medusa ,

i probably wasting you time by emailing in, so im so sorry. please can you not email back, as i want to keep evrything that i think about and do private from my parents .

but anyway ima 12 yearold girl and i always go on your site , almost obssessively! to be honest with you i found you looking for pro-ana. it makes me feel sick and im ashamed to admit i look at such sites but its as i derserve to starve.

ive always been obsessed with my weight. in fact i remember going on a diet about 5 and being thrilled when my ribcage protruded. im a disgrace and a failure though now. i eat compulsively , always thinking about what to eat next my next meal. if i try to diet i ALWAYS end up binging and eating all the snacks at home. fat failure. i know im not really fat but i am. i no it dosent make sense but thats how i feel.

im 70 pounds and am 4 foot 8. all the girls on your site weigh less than me. i no they are sick and i should be repulsed but they have an elegance about them. theyre tiny and perfect and dainty and delecate. im a gymnast so i often see my body very graphicly. my gym has a lot of mirrors , and i cant help starung at how big my thighs are , how round my bum is. how heavyi must be.

im sick and twisted and depressed. i always look up vi deos and pics of anorexia. im sick and derseve to die. those poor girls are dieing and all i can do is be envious if them. no selfcontrol cow. ive made myself throw up twice but i scratched my throat and then i realised how stupid i was.

how come evryone around me is stick thin and eat chocalate and cakes and dont feel guilty or get fat?! do they throw it up to? sometimes when im ona diet my freinds make me eat. i hate them for it because then i loose evrything and eat it all. then i love them bcause they care. my parents worry because i always look up my bmi. i think it is 17.5. obese. only one person understands, a close freind of mine whos been through the same.

exept im sick fat idiot. noone understands either. i hate myself and soorry for wasting your time. please if you do put this on the site change all names. but i dont know why you would im justa fat nothing.

lots os love tasha* xxxx
thankyou for being their, i really need a shoulder to lean on right now . :'( x"

*name changed

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Val said...

I can relate to you almost completely. I was obsessed with my weight/calories/bmi etc from the time i was very young too, because everyone was trying to make me gain weight. Doctors accused my parents of starving me because i was so underweight while in fact they were crying and begging me to eat. The doctors thought they were helping me. They caused my anorexia. A 4 year old shouldn't even know what a calorie is and I was very aware of what foods had how many calories. They made me obsessed with it. I always knew how much I weighed, and i can still tell you how much I weighed in each year of my life. I just checked your bmi and it isn't 17.5. It's 15.7. Normal range is 18.5-24.9. I understand that someone can be under that and yes be perfectly healthy but also not look too thin. I have a bmi of 17.6 and people don't think I look to thin. 15.7 however is very thin. Too thin for you to be. I understand you completely, and yes, your friends do care. When I was starving myself, my friends noticed. My whole class noticed, and yes I only have a class of 12, and as hard as it is for me to admit it, they do care about me. I have my times when I use "my" logic. "My" logic is basically a screwed up way of thinking that just always has the conclusion that i don't deserve anyone and everyone is better than me and no one even cares about me at all. But I try to not use that and use rational logic. And sometimes "my" logic seems completely rational to me. It isn't to anyone else. Because it's not. They do care about me, and thats why they noticed that I was eating and begged me to. Thats why boy in my class asked me if I was anorexic. Thats why my friend made me eat when she saw me getting dizzy. Thats why my other friend stayed on the phone with me telling me I was beautiful and amazing and that he loved me. People care about me and people care about you. You do deserve to live and be happy. I know you can't see that. Most of the time I can't see it about myself. I don't know you and I care about you. Thats why I am using my time sitting here trying to help you, and I know I probably won't. But that doesn't matter to me. I want to help you so I will try everything I can to. i can't do much but write to you through this site and it probably won't make a difference to you. But I hope it does. You matter, you deserve to be happy, and I hope that one day you will see that. I will write a million comments if I have to, or if you want me to.
Here to help, talk, and listen,

Medusa said...

Val, thank you SO much.

Crystal said...

Dear Tasha,
If you are a gymnast your legs look that beautiful because the natural body of a gymnast is strong. I was a gymnast too. I to have big legs. But since gym was a short time of my life so what was once muscle is now fat, and I'm okay with it because I have learned that no guy truly prefers a skinny girl, sure, they may like thin, to a certain extent. I no just from the words you speak that you are beautiful. NOT fat.

Eltiteretista said...



Seriously!! What kind of girls is dieting at the age of FIVE??
What the hell is going on in her house???
Either her mother has serious problems herself or she is getting raised by the television instead of a pair of human beings with functional brains. SOMETHING IS WRONG IN THAT HOUSE and Tasha is the one suffering for it!

When I was five years old my main concern was memorizing the names of all the Power Rangers 0_o

Concerned said...

Hi Tasha,

17.5 is Thin. Your "Perfect" not fat but "Perfect":)... Please please don't purge... Please....

Love you...