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Sleep Help is Here! Compassionate Sleep Solutions


Message to Compassionate Sleep Solutions:

Is lack of sleep turning you into a zombie?

Is lack of sleep turning you into a zombie?

My 7-month old nurses to sleep for nights and naps. He wakes exhausted and so do I. He wakes after 45 minutes of night sleep, and continues to wake every few minutes to every two hours all night long. I am a zombie and not able to parent my oldest with love and respect as I feel I always have. I feel like I have been obsessing over my baby's sleep since he was 3 months old but didn't know "how to change" and here we are again in the same place I was with my oldest (nursing to sleep). I feel very, very anxious to go through another 3 years of no sleep and how it will affect my health. Extremely anxious.... can't decide how sleep learning sits with me but wanting to consider it. Anxieties: • Asking him to change • My baby crying for help • Me not "doing what he knows" • Is the stress too much for him (or us)? Is he capable, ready? • Will there be regret? • Will he be detached? Very anxious and also feeling SO guilty and regretful that I "got him here". I am sleep deprived and constantly obsessing over sleep. All to say just feeling unsure. Am I being unfair to him or taking the easy route by forcing a change? OR, is it possible that this is best for him, for our family. Some hope there. Please help! Zombie Mommy

My reply: Dear Zombie Mommy,


Thank you for your honesty and openness. You state the common ground of that place where many mommies send out their cry for help.

The rock - The Gibraltar nature of this rock is a common starting point. This rock makes it clear that we can't continue in the current way that sleep is being done.

The hard place - These are the mixed emotions of anxiety about change and the all too common "mommy guilt" that got us in this jam to begin with. Our natural aversion to change makes us thing change will be bad for our baby. Not so!

Your concerns and anxieties


Him crying for help - You will be able to help him. By not fixing sleep for him or rescuing him he will learn a new skill. It truly is "on their own with our help".


Your questions:

Is the stress too much for him? No.


Will there be regret? Maybe. Many parents I work with regret they waited years for good sleep. If we look at the elements of regret there is sadness, disappointment, loss and grief. This means at some point we will experience regret. Considering how invested we are in our child's experience then eventually we are bound to feel some of those elements.

Cheetos? What Cheetos?&nbsp;

Cheetos? What Cheetos? 

However, regret feels solid and hard. Another rock, another hard place. Regret is being stuck in a perpetual loop of those elements above. It feels like s#!t. Being stuck in the deep doody of regret is hard to transform. Deep regret is for grownups. Children don't get stuck there. Regret is ego driven and they have no ego - yet. It is why they are so free and happy. They are far too fluid and changing to waste time in such a waste of time that regret can become. The only thing that transforms regret is compassion for the self and the other. Forgiveness, love, compassion are the elements of transforming regret.

Will he be detached? - No. He will be separate. There is a HUGE difference.


"Am I being unfair to him or taking the easy route by forcing a change?" I assure you that you are not being unfair nor forcing a change. It is incredibly supportive to allow changes to occur that are developmentally appropriate.

If there were an easy route out, I would be the magical fairy godmother of sleep and I would be spreading that magic all over the globe. I may have clients far and wide who think I am magic. But this is not magic. It is about choice. A common feeling (not fact) about feeling stuck is the feeling that we have no choice. Unless your baby's name is Kim Jon-un and calls himself the Supreme Leader - then you do indeed have a choice.




If you are interested in the reality and joy of peaceful sleep contact Eileen at Compassionate Sleep Solutions!