Friday, July 17, 2009

secret 17 - reality t.v.

i remember the early days of reality t.v. i was a loyal follower of MTV's Real World, especially the one in SF, with puck (he was so awful) and rachel (bitch nose) and pedro, the sweet guy who was dying of AIDS. i watched Real World marathons when they had those on the weekend--staying in my PJs, ordering in pizza, asking people to bring over beverages--because i was glued to the t.v. and couldn't leave. i also loved MTV's Road Rules and think of MTV as the pioneer of reality t.v., tho' i know there are those who beg to differ. mostly because those shows were pretty scripted and probably not all that real.

but then, i drifted away from reality t.v., so aside from the odd episode of stylista or the aptly named biggest loser or the evil (and FAT!!) tyra banks' america's next top model when i'm alone in a hotel somewhere, (shh, twitterers, i wasn't going to mention that brain-numbing episode of paris hilton's new BFF that i accidentally watched) i don't really follow reality t.v. today. i'm rather old school about it.  so no temptation island, big brother or survivor here.

however, this has not stopped me from coming up with several sure-fire reality t.v. concepts:

  1. Quack Docs - real people performing surgery on other real people. simple surgeries, not heart transplants and such. we're talking appendicitis or removing the odd lipoma. the kicker is that you would find people so desperate for their 15 seconds of fame that you would have willing "victims" on both sides. people who wanted to perform surgery and people willing to have it performed on them.
  2. Near Miss  - ordinary people as air traffic controllers. harder to get permission for this one, i'll grant you. and it could be a one-off, where you reveal at the end that the whole thing actually took place in a simulator (the simulators are that good). but once people knew the kicker, it would lose its appeal. better to have it take place in an airport like, say, detroit, where people wouldn't mind the near misses quite as much. 
  3. Gay Construction - this idea arose out of TV Danmark's Gay Army reality show, where gay scandinavians were paired with an american drill sergeant who tried (actually quite sincerely) to whip them into shape as army recruits). Gay Construction would involve giving a lot of asphalt, building materials and heavy machinery to a group of particularly effiminate gay men and having them build things - roads, houses. i have a picture in my head of the guys in evening gowns and high heels, trying to get the big rolling machine going.
for your viewing pleasure, a little clip from Gay Army:

do you have any reality t.v. show concepts lurking in the back of your mind?


Anonymous said...

How funny. The near miss one happens daily here I think. Our house is two minutes from the airport and I swear one morning I might wake up to a stewardess trying to serve me breakfast.

S. said...

I am addicted to American Next Top Model-s. Although,my fav one was called "Farm" and just as it sounds, there were a buch of people running one. Hilarious. That would be the only reality show that I would willingly take part in, but for some reason the first season was the last one. :(

Bill Stankus said...

You got me on this set. I'm probably the only person who hasn't watched any of the "reality" shows. None. Zip. Nada.

I guess I'm old school - I prefer shows with actors, plot, story and cleverness.

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Nice. I've been working on a post about reality TV all week, just haven't had time to finish it. I'll have to add a concept of my own to it. Your concepts are brilliant, I think the quack docs would be hysterical. Dangerous and lawsuit enabling, but hysterical.

Starlene said...

Oh my God! (Probably Odin.) I bust up laughing just now. You're sick! I like it. I really do.

My name is Erin. said...

OMG! Gay Army is soooo my next facebook posting! Aahahahahaha! Too much! That is hilarious.

Oh, and my dad bawled his eyes out when Pedro died and went on a five day Puck bashing spree to anyone and everyone. I don't think anyone in his age group even knew who Pedro was.

Char said...

I think that was the last real world for me too. i couldn't handle puck.

i'm a sucker for the dancing show on right now and big brother . . . just the concept of being watched 24/7 is creepy to me and I can't imagine why people would subject themselves to that.

I would like some type of show where rude people are herded in by people they have offended and they get a electric shock or something each time they continue to be rude.

spudballoo said...

Waaaah, I didn't read the intro to your concepts and thought you were giving a summary of your favourite shows, snigger.

I HATE reality TV, I just don't get it at all. It's like a part of my brain that is missing...

Sara said...

I wish we could have watched Gay Army here. People in the US would probably have had to much of a fit over it but it looks funny.

There was a TV commercial advertising a fake show to promote a product (Geico?...). It was about newlyweds where "the house was built to small" and they have to bend down all the time because they don't fit anything. I would watch that one just for the laughs!