The prequels that do not exist

If you’re about to show the Star Wars movie to some kid who has never seen them, for God’s sake, start with Episode 4: A New Hope. Don’t ruin it for the poor tyke.

I can’t stand the prequels and like to pretend they never exist. Oh, sure, if it was just those three, it would be an acceptable trilogy, no better than many other space operas. But the fact is that they ruin the original trilogy’s storyline in so many ways as to make me pull my hair

If you watch the films in order, you’re sure to ask:

What’s the big deal about the line “Luke, I am your father”?  So what, I knew that all along. 

Why doesn’t C3PO tell Luke who his father is? For that matter, why doesn’t Obi-Wan recognize the droids (and vice versa)?

How could Luke be “hidden” in plain sight on Anakin’s home planet with his relatives and not been found?

And how did Obi-Wan age so much in the twenty years or so between trilogies?

Why did Leia say she knew her mother in Return of the Jedi when her mother died in childbirth?

For that matter, why did Obi-wan have to be reminded by Yoda that there was “another”? He already knew about Leia, right? 

If midi-chlorians are in the bloodstream, then why don’t people just do blood transfusions so everyone can have these powers?  Surely the Empire would have thought of that by now.

Look, maybe I’m pickier about these kinds of things because story is most important to me (says the guy who writes novels). I’ve never been impressed by mere special effects and cool battle scenes without some connection to the characters and the plotline.

So between the unlikable characters and the contradictory plots in the prequels, you can see why I tell everyone THEY DON’T EXIST.  Because otherwise, they just ruin my enjoyment of the original series.