Do You Feel Unwanted

Skating on thin ice, taking a risk on my life.

Confused like the identity of a dyke.

Am I afraid like the 40 year virgin trying to get laid?

I complain about wanting more money, but do I want to get paid?

I complain about reckless people, but do I really want to play it safe?

I tell myself I am going to make it, but will my talent go to waste?

It’s me aginst the world and suicide is tempting like being freaky to a Tupac temeptations song,

but unlike Paul, these negative thoughts I am learning to ignore

by listening to a gospel song

even though the devil finds his way in the church.

Should the church doors be locked at all times

since the demons are at work?

With the good, comes the bad, like a young lady with a pretty face and no ass,

or a nice ass with a unbeautiful face?

But am I sinning again for judging something I didn’t create?

How can I place criticism on something I didn’t help build or help create?

Well other people do it all the time so I should follow the crowd?

Is that a good reason why I should smoke loud?

Is that good reason why I should continue pulling down her panties underneath her night gown

knowing that I don’t plan to wear a glove when peoples intentions is brutally cold like russia during WW2.

An STD do comes unexpectedly like a dream just came true.

Back and fourth thinking what should I do?

The demons are active like volcanoes and

are on the loose

and I’m screaming like simba when witnessing

his dad slipping

when scar was the one that let his grip loose.

Never trust a hand that didn’t raise you or feed you.

Everbody in this world don’t have a mind that’s 1+1 = 2.

We are all suppose to be created equal, but that line in the constitution is deceitful.

Racism is alive and its a disgiuse between the eyes.

Sexism against girlfriends and wives, so protection is deprived.

Young ladies in this world are the remainders

since satan divides.

Men only want to be fruitful, but some

unintentionally multiply

but when a fetus comes to life, a man is subtracted, stress and anger is added,

famililes is now divided.

Life blows like a sega genesis cartridge.

Marriage almost damn near facing extinction

and its hard to make a relationship work

when your partner doesn’t have what it takes to make it work.

So when your birthday comes up, ever think to yourself, was you an unwanted birth?

I Have Questions

I Have Questions and I Have More Questions! – Please click and read the questions I left on these blogs.

For those of you that don’t know me, I’m David Hockaday and I have been blogging for a little over year. I have been writing poetry for almost four years and poetry is my passion. I started a blog to express my thoughts on life and the experiences I have been through. I write about all kinds of topics, but my topics I love to write about are deep, dark topics and I will add some links below of my top ten deepest,darkest poems.

Top Ten deep dark poems

10. Heartless and Heartbroken

9. Tired of being the nice guy

8. Do I Perfer Strippers?Women Got Me Fed Up

7. Meaning OF Fear

6. Praying For A Better Future

5. Don’t Give Or Receive

4. The Way The Heart Works

3. This Is A Cold World

2. Where Have You Been?

1. How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie

I don’t expect you to read all ten, but just pick the one that caught your attention based on the title. Last November I wrote a Who Am I? post and please click and read if you are curious to know more about me. I want to build, connect, and learn from other bloggers. I am a very curious person and my mind is loud and always racing. They say quiet people have the loudest minds. In person I am very silent and shy so I do all my talking through my poetry and I share it on here for everybody to read so it can give the courage for other people to open up. I just want to say, no matter how dark or deep your mind is, never be afraid to express yourself and release any pain, any frustration that bothers you. Keeping things inside with fuck with your mind so poetry is my exercise. We all get lonely and though some of us like being alone, sometimes we need to talk to someone. Now nobody has our back like family and it’s always family first but sometimes its always good to talk to new people as well to pick their brain so that’s why I am writing this post. So below I will list down a few questions that I have been thinking about for the past few days.

1. Women out number men on this planet Why do you think it was God’s intention to have women out number men? Do you think there will be a difference if men out number women?

2. If your daughter was grown and she wanted to go to the dealership for a new car but she never been to the dealership before and she wanted her father to go but the father made excuses does that make him a bad father?

3. Like I knew this woman who was mad with her husband because he would constantly read his sons a bedtime story and sleep in their beds What’s her problem like why was she mad?

4. Is it harder to forgive yourself or somebody else?

5. If your bf can’t dance is that a turn off? If your bf refuse to dance at parties, clubs,weddings etc are u breaking up with him?

6. Can you hate yourself but love somebody else?

7. Can you marry somebody that don’t believe God?

8. Once you child is over 18 but yet so they still live with you, should they still be forced to go to church or should the decision be on their own?

9) What is the appropriate age to talk to your kids about sex

10) Why is lack of communication a common problem in a relationship?

11) Do you need to have a healthy sex life in a marriage?

Out of all these questions, pick one question that either caught your attention or a question that have thought about before and comment below your answer and I will respond regarding my answer to that question. Also please as well if there is a post that you want feedback on, please post a link in my comment section your favorite and most powerful post and I will give my opinion regarding the post

I Love You Like Hip Hop

The deep affection I have for  hip hop.
I will always love it until the beat of my heart stops,
Listening to it on the beat box.

I love listening to the beat.
Just the sound, I listen to right before I fall asleep.
I close my eyes
I feel so mesmerized.
Like brown sugar in oatmeal,
Hip Hop, you are so tasteful.
You are my  addiction.
In a good way, unlike a cocaine addiction.
You are healthy and lift up my spirits
As I hear you and I listen,
To your words.
You articulate your sentences, in a powerful way to be heard.
I love you like I love hip hop,
And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
And I always will until the clock stops

Have You Ever Thought About These Questions?

For the month of June, I will be posting a blog everyday. I plan to post as much as I can uploading my poems.

These first two questions are for parents that have kids in their teens?

1) How would you feel if they had an blog account on WordPress without telling you?

2) How would you feel if your teenage child became pregnant or got a girl pregnant?

3) How important is family to you?

4) As a parent, have you ever embarrassed your children?

5) As a child, have you ever embarrassed your parent?

6) Do you think it’s okay to lie?

7) What benefits does art provide in society?

8) What do you contribute back to society?

9) For parents with adult children, if your child was over 21 and your child quit their job and kept it a secret and didn’t tell you, how will that make you feel?

10) Is it right for parents to keep secrets from their children?

11) What do you think is the biggest waste of human potential?

12) What is something that overwhelms you?

13) Comapred to life 40 years ago, why is it so hard to get married?

14) Is it okay for Christians to date a non- Christian?

15) What physical proof is there that God exist?

16) What is something that everybody looks stupid doing?

17) In one sentence, how would you sum up life?

18) In one sentence, how would you sum up the internet?

19) In one sentence, how would you sum up why the devil is a liar?

20) In one sentence, how would you sum up life in America?

For those that want to answer one of these questions, comment below and ask me a deep, provoking question for me to answer

Deep Life Questions For You To Answer

This post is not a poem. My next poem uploaded will be on June 2.

This post is a post of variety of deep questions I want bloggers to answer in the comment section. Choose one question from this post that you thought was most challenging to answer

1) Would you lie to your best friend if you knew the truth would end the friendship?

2) Of all your blogs you posted on WordPress, which one was your most successful and why do you think it was successful?

3) Would the world be a better place if celebrities didn’t exist and if they were ordinary people?

4) Are some people more special then others or are we all special in our own way?

5) What would the world be like today if social media existed in the 90’s?

6) If you had the power to end racism or poverty, which one would you pick?

7) Is this a man’s world or a woman’s world?

8) What’s the most memorable lesson you learned from your enemy?

9) If you had the option to know the date and circumstance of your death, would you want to know?

10) The last nightmare you had, if that nightmare came true, would that be the worst day of your life?

11) Is it possible being to creative to the point of insanity?

12) Do you need love in order to survive in this world?

13) Is a life that focuses on avoiding pain and seeking out pleasure a good worthwhile life? Why or Why not?

14) What makes you the most angry about yourself?

15) Is there any emotions that you are afraid to show?

16) If karma was coming back to you, will it help or hurt you?

17) Think really hard, what was your first memory?

1)How much control over your life do you have? What makes you say that?

For those of you that don’t know me please read Who Am I. This post introduces me and explains why I started blogging

“How much control over your life do you have? What makes you say that?”

Has anyone ever thought about this question? This question is very interesting to me. I had to really sit back and sit for a minute. I wake every morning, I brush my teeth, take a shower, eat breakfast , and drive to work on my own free will without being forced. But have you ever heard of the phrase “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!” so I ask myself again, do we really have much control over our lives? These are questions that I thought to myself

“Why do we have laws to follow?”

“Why do we die?”

“Why are babies aborted?”

“Why do we get eaten by most carnivores and omnivores ”?

“Why can’t we choose our parents at birth?”

“Why does racism exist?”

Let break something down!

When your visitor at somebody’s house, how much control do you have in the house your visiting?

Well once you answered that question,answer this one!

Who does the Earth belong to?(another words,is this a man’s world or a woman’s world?)

Now tell me


Please comment below, I look forward to reading your answers

I will post my next blog on May 15

Btw I have some questions for you bloggers to answer because I was bored and I am curious to see your opinions lol

1) For those if you that are currently in a relationship, let’s say your significant other tells you that he/she wants to have sex everyday once ya get married, how would you respond?

2) For the women that have boyfriends, if  your boyfriend told that he believes that women should be head of the house hold, how would you respond?

3) For the men, if your wife told you that she rather you stay home and take care of the house and the kids, another words be a house husband, how would you feel?

4) For the women that are married, if your husband told you that he loves you but his mother comes first, how would you respond?

Fall In Love Or Die Trying

Broken for the words I spoken.
Poisoned like a mushroom,
my earth fell in a tomb
and how do I heal wounds?
I spoke to soon
without thinking.
Grew up surrounded
by everybody constantly
Deep feelings hang
in my mind like a closet.
Deep feelings hang
in my mind like monkey bars.
Just left scared hanging
and constantly bruising
for not putting alcohol
on my scars.
Always thought I was being
manly for not wearing a scarf
when life became cold.
I caught an infection
that needs healing.
Irritation burning my patience
and drunk off of my hallucinations
Despite my aggravation
I still searched for confidence
by providing space
to rebuild earth
to see that enchanting smile
on a irresistible face
even though I wasn’t in shape.
Like rocky I needed to train my brain
I just need a track and a engine
to operate.
My mind is underground
in which people choose to underrate
by dick riding popularity
like fans do to mainstream rappers.
Climbing the ladder is harder
than sliding down the slide.
This is why I’m shy.
Unexpected rodent bite
in my sleep
have me fearing the bed
and dreaming.
Thought life was clean
like a Will Smith CD
but the disc has deep scratches
and can’t disappear.
Life is not magic.
Wipe the dirt of their shoulder
toward your sneakers.
Carrying someone Else’s luggage
and yet I struggle with my own.
So hurt so I started to smoke,
even thought about sniffing coke.
Was defeat my density?
Was contemplating self harm
while staring at the empty glass
of Hennessy.
Ignoring my instincts
for earth
made things worst.
Holding on hurts more
than letting go
It deteriorates the soul.
Can no longer hold
your composure
as you land your fist
on the large boulder
or dislocate your shoulders
just to receive Earth’s attention
but earth deflected you for
another planet.
So I will commit suicide
to demonstrate how
to fall in love or
die trying.

This is just a poem that’s over exaggerated. Not meant to be take seriously

A One On One Deep Conversation About Death

This was a heart to heart conversation about life and death. Two people are going back and fourth, expressing their deepest thoughts


We don’t know what it feels like to die.

Never been in it’s presence or time.

We know it exist and it’s something we don’t wish.

Until you experience the true meaning of life.

Life is about smile and cries but let’s talk about cries

Why do we cry?

Tears falling from the face comes from a broken heart.

Feels like your life fell apart.

Life itself isn’t hard but the people in it make it


A broken heart makes pain unbeatable.

Pain hurts most when it’s unexpected

like an STD for having sex unprotected.

School teaches you education but what about real life lessons?

Feeling like bubble boy trapped in a bubble.

Trying to remain humble but people mock and laugh at you

So bad that you either become suicidal or homicidal.

Suicide will break your mother’s heart on the inside.

Or you can conserve your life by committing homicide.

Turn to a serial killer.

A broken heart turns a person so apathetic

Secrets of deep thoughts exposed

like diaries in dusty attics.


Or matter of fact feeling low like a crack addict or even standing on a bridge thinking of doing something drastic

In your mind you’re thinking to yourself wouldn’t this be fantastic, I gotta have this
The pain released from my soul which would give me happiness

It’s all madness

We all have problems in different shapes and sizes but, most of us take a passive approach and try to hide or disguise it

Like a sad clown behind his mask or forgotten child in need of assistance you didn’t ask
They all say the hurt and pain you had is in the past but, what about that new job that didn’t last or more recently when one of my loved ones just passed

It’s real and part of life. Yes there’s positivity but, there’s also strife. With one there always come the other and nine times out of ten the obvious one outweighs the other.
But I choose life over death.

The best to do list item I keep close to my chest. It’s been weeks tossing over this idea, in which I hadn’t slept.

But what do you expect?

Every day I pick up the pieces of what life couldn’t been and work on ways for how it should be.
One of the keys to success and to see and believe.

Now I know there’s nonbelievers and can’t fathom seeing the other side but, although I see it from their view, I’ve decided to put my pride aside.

Let’s face it, we don’t really decide if we live or die.


Because death is promised to us all.
It’s never a goal

but rather we stand still like a pole

or move around like electrons
death come to us all.

Ever since the devil broke his bond
with God

Life is the real death

and death is the freedom

Demons and angels maybe imaginary
and humans are the real demons.

Think about Cain and Abel

It’s all hereditary.

Thou shall not kill

Thou shall not steal

we disobey by our own free will.

Every step u take, we could be stepping in a trap

and be a victim in a person’s attack.

Life is overrated

like sex to a person with a low sex drive.

Babies are forever precious

but even Tupac new parents are devious

just ask Brenda.

Unlike the tribe in black panther,

black people don’t stick together.

We receive hate like the Jews did from Hitler.

A devil in disguise,

poisoning minds

by disguising poisoned mushrooms

into red apples.

What seems healthy

can put you in the grave early.

But maybe an early grave

is the best day

since we escaping dooms day,

you know the place we call life.
Shit I don’t fear death


I fear life and I’m tired of the fight


It’s interesting that we think the fear of difference is fear of life itself.

Worrying about other people’s opinions to the point it affects our health.

However, remaining hidden in plain sight like a cheetah that’s stealth.

Or masking our fear with creating problems that haven’t been dealt.

I believe there are demons that walk amongst us on this earth, the same people that need to look in the mirror and go to church.

They need to worry about getting themselves right and avoid at all costs for them not to get hurt.

Betraying their spouse, mother, or brother or throwing a friend’s name in the dirt.
It’s not that death is the better choice for us all but, for some it’s the easier option to befall.
Drugs, sex, money, they’re all a different kind a poison. Leading to our so called miserable lives and causing mass destruction.
The root of all evil is sometimes staring us in the face, evil has no color no matter the race.
Divide and conquer is what has been the trend. The endless violence on each other seems to never want to end.
It’s takes only one voice to be heard, hand to be raised, two feet to be stood on to choose peace. Reminding us all that we all need to love one another as Martin Luther king Jr essentially quoted in his I Have a Dream Speech.
Life is tough and life can seem like a personal hell. But, only God can judge the living based on how we followed his rules well.
So turn the other cheek and love hard towards one another because when that judgement comes God surely won’t stutter.

Questions to think about

1) If you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

2) The bible says more people will go to hell then heaven, what’s your opinion about that?

3) If misery didn’t exist and everybody was happy, would this affect music and poetry?

On Tuesday May 1st, I will post my next blog

I Have More Questions!

Warning: This blog have a lot of tough, horrible, questions. So if you don’t like negativity what so ever then I rather you leave now instead of leaving a negative comment criticizing my blog. This is my blog and these are the questions I wanted to ask.
Purpose if this blog is to make your think and this contains a lot of bad situations and negativity. The reason why I wrote these  type questions is because a lot of these questions are real life situations where we can all end up. I believe when your stuck between a rock and a hard place, it makes coming up with a solution more difficult and I want you guys to really think about this. Again I did ask a lot of negative questions, but I also asked some good questions as well
When you answer theses questions, there is no in between, no I’m not sure, you have to pick an straightforward answer.  Yes I know these questions are not straight forward, but I am challenging you to come up with an answer and I promise if you  comment below answer that I will respond back with an answer as well


1) In the bible in genesis, the serpent gave Eve to eat the apple. Eve gave the apple to Adam and he ate the apple. Now curious question, God knows everything and he knew Eve was the first one that are the apple before Adam, now why did God approach Adam and question Adam first?


2)  If you was in a baby’s room and you saw the baby sleeping surrounded by two rats in the crib, what would you do?

3) If you was on the roof with your enemy, your enemy was on the ledge getting ready to jump off and commit suicide, which you try and convince that person not to jump and what would you say to enemy from committing suicide

4) Is life a reality or a dream?

5) Imagine if everybody in the world told the truth, would life be a better place?


6) If everybody waited until marriage to have sex, would the crime rate go down?

7) If everybody was broke, would the world be a friendly place?

8) If everybody was rich, would people be more anti-social?


9) If everybody waited until marriage to have sex, would there be any use for condoms?


10 )What would life be like if  imaginations were non- existent?

11) What is more frightening, a gun being pointed by your head by a loved one, or waiting for HIV results in the waiting room knowing that you had unprotected sex with 100 people in a year ?


12 )Would you rather be paralyzed or HIV infected?

13) Between Play station 1 and and Nintendo 64, which system would rather play?


14) What’s more embarrassing, walking in on your parents having sex or urinating on yourself on the first date in public?


15) Would you rather somebody embarrass you or you embarrass somebody?


16) If you was a billionaire could you honestly say that you could be the same as you are now or would the money change you in the slightest?


17) If you had the chance to win a 5 millionaire dollars and all you had to do was to trust me to write a poem once a day for a year straight and each line had to be 20 lines, would you take that offer?

18) Would you rather have Michael Jackson ‘s talent and Michael Jordan personality or Michael Jackson’s personality and Michael Jordan talent?


19 )Would you rather get in the ring with Mike Tyson in his prime or play a game in the NFL as a quarterback?


20) Would you rather make out(not just a quick kiss a full make out session) with your significant other in a crowd full of strangers or watch your parents make out in the privacy of your home?


21 )Would you rather go a whole year without no sex or go a whole year having boring sex with a person that’s just sloppy and clumsy?


22) Would you rather date somebody that is extremely shy or extremely talkative?


23) For the women: Now would you rather a guy take you out on a date and he pays for everything but one condition you have to have sex or would you rather play it safe but have to pay for the whole date?


24) Would you rather fall out of a plane with a para shoot or go scuba diving?

25 )Which one is worst, you paying somebody 200 hundred dollars (which is your kids birthday money) for a chain that somebody robbed from you, or you getting stuck with a flat tire without no spare in a blizzard?

26 ) What’s worst to watch a love one die in front if your eye’s or a loved one watching you die?


27) Would you rather bury your kids when they are young or commit suicide?



28 )Do female celebrities have sex with male groupies?

29 )Would you rather spent the rest of your life in prison for a crime you didn’t commit or have somebody to jail for the rest their life for a crime that you committed?


30 ) Would you rather be in jail and your ex spouse visits you through a glass and she is with your worst enemy and they are kissing and you are watching them kiss through the glass or would you rather have your mom/dad walk on you performing oral sex on their bed with their  boyfriend/girlfriend?

31  ) When Cain murdered Abel, how do you think Adam And Eve reacted to Abel being murdered?

32) Would you rather be trapped in the woods with Jason, or have Freddy Cruger appear in your nightmares every night, or be trapped in a dark abandoned house with Annabel?

33) Would you rather stay single forever or be with in a relationship that will last for 10 years but the person you are with for 10 years will break your heart in the worst way you can imagine after 10 years?

34) What’s a worst crime, murder or rape?

35) What’s harder to do, forgive when your hurt, or telling the cold hard truth to somebody who is sensitive?

36) If you had the power  choice, would you rather  take away cartoons from all kids permanently , or take away their birthdays and they won’t be allowed to celebrate their birthdays until they graduate high school?

37) As a parent, if you had  a choice, would rather your child become a parent, making you a grandparent at the age of 16, or to not have grand kids at all knowing that your kids want kids?

38) For men: If you are married, who comes first your mother or your wife?

39) The day before Tupac died, if you was in private one on one conversation with Tupac and you had one question to ask him, what would you ask him?

40) For those that have a high sex drive, would you marry somebody with a low sex drive  if they have everything you wanted in a boyfriend/girlfriend? For those that have a low sex drive, would you marry somebody with a high sex drive if  they everything you wanted in a boyfriend/girlfriend?

41) What’s more important in a relationship/marriage, passion or dedication? (pick one)

41) Would you rather marry somebody that is the complete opposite of you, or marry somebody that is exactly like you in all areas?(don’t say 50/50 lol)

42) For mothers, would you be disappointed if your daughter was a lesbian or if your son was gay? ( I have no problem with people who are attracted of the same sex but just curious to  here your answer )

42) What is the most difficult question to answer in your opinion in the world?

43) If you had a choice, would live in a world where have the power to read each other minds but none of us can’t speak at all to each other, or live in a world where we can all speak to each other but we can’t read at all not even a single letter of the alphabet?

44) Would rather  have knowledge on everything subject, every area possible  but no common sense what so ever or have all the common sense in the world but have no knowledge whatsoever to the point where you don’t even know elementary  stuff like reading on a first grade level?

45)What’s worst to lie in somebody’s face or to gossip the truth about other people’s business?

46) Would you rather be friendly with everybody with pessimistic thoughts or have an attitude with everybody for no reason but have  optimistic  thoughts?

47) If you could cheat on your partner knowing that you will get away with it and they will never find out, would you?(If you answer, please use the first thought that comes to your head and be honest I’m looking for a simple yes or no)

48) Now after reading question 47,  for those of you that are in a relationship/marriage, would you ask your partner this question? If they answered no, would you believe them(Be honest)?

49) Would your rather teach somebody how to count, or how to read the alphabet?

50) If you had the power, would you scarfice your child  and let you child rot hell after he/she so everybody can be in heaven(including yourself, all the evil, rapists, child molesters, serial killers) or would everybody on this earth from this day on would live forever, nobody dies but everyday somebody is born but nobody dies, another words would you rather live in an overpopulated world where nobody dies or scarfice your child to the lake f fire while everybody goes to heaven

51)Bonus questions, would you rather answer take the time the first 49 questions and avoid 50 or just answer question 50 and ignore all the other 49 questions?


With the exception of question 50 and 51, pick a question  from 1 – 49 and answer that question in the comment section, the one that was most difficult between 1-49, and when you do, I will comment back with my response. If you want to answer more than one question be my guest and  I will respond to everybody that comments. Please don’t answer 50 or 51, those are very personal but at least think about that.  Please pick the most difficult question to answer.  Also is there any other questions besides the one that you will answer in the comment section,  that you want me write a poem on and this includes question 50(I won’t upload the poem until January)  write the number in the comment section in quotes?