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Dr. Tundra admits he has a problem

bloodshot eyes

Once again, Dr. Tundra woke with a splitting headache, the feeling that he’d fallen asleep with a mouthful of half-masticated rat, and a pain in his lower back that could only be called apocalyptic.

He opened his eyes; it felt as though a demented carpenter had been at his eyelids with coarse grit sandpaper all night.

The walls were swimming a bit, and he could just barely focus on the floor, where he could see the empty pizza boxes, Coke cans, and what … was that a pair of panties?

He sat up in bed, and realized that at the tender age of 37, perhaps it was time to admit he had a problem. This was worse than his days of pretending he was Carlos Castaneda — the peyote days. He’d fallen under the thrall of a new mistress, and not the nice kind decked out in leather and handling a whip either. No, he’d sunk into a new addiction. One that could ruin him — ruin his relationships, his work, his life.

At the far end of the bedroom was the TV, and sitting underneath, the device. And within it, the software that caused his cravings:

Fallout 4.

Put down the controller and mess up your eyes with some of my addictive long fiction!

It is wise to consider if you are an addictive personality before you load up any form of electronic crack on your gaming console or computer: Gaming fanatics show hallmarks of drug addiction. Thanks to maxf for the eye. Alltop also has a series of addictions. Originally published in 2008, when the punchline was Civilization IV.


  1. I once, not so long ago, became addicted to Mentats. The rush of intelligence they provided was intense. I had the power to crack into computer terminals that only moments before would have been impossible. My senses were heightened: I knew where people were located, when lesser men would have been ignorant. And beyond this, I gained a power to charm beyond my means.

    Besides the addiction, these Mentats had one other flaw. They stopped working when I turned off Fallout 3.

  2. Civ IV…no!!!

    *hand starts to shake uncontrollably*

    No…no. Not that!!!

    *a line of drool forms at the corner of my lips*

    Anything but that!!!!

    *starts to insert disk*

    Must…resist…can’t….no time to conquer the world…damn you…

    The meek will never inherit the earth. Only a mile-high stack of modern armor supported by stealth bombers can do that.

  3. Lies. These are all lies!

    Wait until my cities reach legendary culture status, and then we’ll see what your mentats and armor can do.

    Carlos was fun, thought that Don Juan guy was a maniac.

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