Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Tools For The Work of Living!

Be mindful of each moment in your day. SLOW DOWN! Your journey is not only about arriving at your destination. The journey is the journey. The end is not the journey. The destination will be what it will be, but did you enjoy the way?
                                                                ~~Ron Rathbun

When the daily realities of life have us spinning out of control, there are several ways we soothe ourselves. The 4 “biggies” are eating, drinking, smoking and spending.  Some of you may be quite proficient in achieving life balance when things start getting crazy, but others have a tougher time.

I found some powerful and easy to follow solutions in the book, "The Pathway: Follow the Road to
Health and Happiness" by Laurel Mellin, M.A., R.D.  She writes that we need to learn how to be self-nurturing and to set effective limits so we can comfort ourselves from the inside.  Without these skills, we are more prone to looking outside ourselves at toxic methods like overeating, drinking too much, spending more money than we have or any of  the many other excesses we can find to comfort ourselves.  Ms. Mellin suggests we ask ourselves the following questions:

For self-nurturing, ask yourself:

1. HOW DO I FEEL? Before just mindlessly putting something in your mouth, consciously examine what you are feeling at that moment. It probably has nothing to do with hunger, nicotine withdrawal, thirst or needing to buy something at the mall.

2. WHAT DO I NEED? You may need sleep, time for loved ones and yourself, or spiritual renewal. You probably don’t need to eat, drink, smoke or shop to get better.

3. DO I NEED SUPPORT? You might need moral support from a trusted friend or physical support to finish holiday preparations. Maybe you just need the support of loved ones appreciating what you do. But eating, drinking, shopping or smoking won’t give you the support you’re looking for.

For setting effective limits, ask yourself:

1. ARE MY EXPECTATIONS REASONABLE? Often we sabotage ourselves by expecting that we can be a superwoman and do it all. You can’t do all the shopping, all the cleaning, all the cooking/baking, all the decorating or all of anything. Understand that you are one person and just do the best that you can.

2. ARE MY THOUGHTS POSITIVE AND POWERFUL? What you think about expands in your life. When negativity begins to creep in (“I’m a bad person because I can’t juggle everything”) get rid of it immediately and think of powerful and positive things you can say to yourself to get back on track (“I’m going to do what I can to the best of my ability and that will be enough”).

3. WHAT IS THE ESSENTIAL PAIN AND THE EARNED REWARD? This is usually a realization of the lesson you’re supposed to learn from the situation you’re in, such as you are not in complete control (the essential pain) but you don’t have to be (the earned reward).