Sunday, August 28, 2011

Project Runway Recaps: S09 E05



Another team challenge! I swear they are doing more of them than usual this season, probably because of Bert. Everyone hates Bert! And with good reason. Anyway, they are given New Balance clothing and taken to some kind of running hall and made to run for the privilege of being team leaders. This is a bit unfair because boys have big muscly legs, even dainty fashion boys, so all the team leaders are men. Anyway before this even happen Cecilia leaves because she is upset that Julie went home instead of her(?). I will miss her crazy accent. The most important thing is that Tim is wearing a totally awesome outfit: a pink shirt, tartan tie and red pocket square! ADORABLE!!!

Heidi has "designed" some shoes for New Balance so they have to make clothes to go with them. Shades of Tyra! I have always sensed a true megalomaniac beneath Heidi's milkmaid exterior. They are in groups of three, and Viktor and Oliver get to choose who comes back so they choose Josh C, about whom I can remember exactly nothing. Josh M chooses Anya because she is awesome, and Becky because she is good at sewing. Nobody wants Bert, but Anthony Ryan and Laura get him.

Back at the studio Josh M (updated George Michael) is horrible to Becky, ignoring all her suggestions and treating her like a seamstress. When she asks if she can design something, he explains why he can't allow that:

"You do dowdy dresses, you know that!"

When she gets upset he tries to convince her that "it's not a bad thing" but then gets angry when she won't stop crying and start sewing. He says, "If you're tired, take a nap!" which is something I wish my coworkers would say to me. She goes into the ladies' toilets to cry with Anya and he bursts in and semi-apologises so she will come back and sew some more.

Bert is grumpy and awful, muttering under his breath and refusing to change his design even though with the sneakers it makes the model look like one of those ladies who go on the train with their work clothes on and their high heels in a plastic bag. He is possibly nuts but probably just an asshole.

Heidi comes in to check on them and Josh C refers to her as "the Klum of Doom," which I like a lot. They are all doing so badly she gives them an extra five hours!

Laura complains that her model has a big butt. Bitch, you are designing New Balance casualwear to be sold on Amazon. If you can't fit a big butt into some jersey, you might as well give up now.

The clothes are kind of boring, which is not surprising given the assignment. Anthony Ryan manages to make a truly astoundingly bad playsuit in Grecian-draped jersey, with huge shorts that nevertheless give the model cameltoe.

Heidi wants to send him home but the others are dead against Danielle, who keeps making sad tops in chiffon. She has even used chiffon in this athletic challenge (after being told to concentrate on denim and suede), so this seems justified.

There are two winners, Viktor with his motorcycle jacket and Josh M with his (Anya's) dress. When he comes into the waiting room he ecstatically hugs Anya and declares, "I couldn't have done it without you!" Then as an afterthought he turns to Becky and says, "And Kimberley! ... I mean Becky!"


  1. holy crap, what a bunch of douches.

  2. Oh I hate Bert. I want him out so bad! :(

  3. They haven't really captured Bert on camera doing anything truly awful yet. He's a bit snide and is obviously playing the game. Given the crowd he's surrounded by, I think he'd need to be a bit catty.

    Both Josh M and Anthony Ryan have displayed themselves to be horrible people. I was happy that Bert was enjoying Anthony Ryan being ripped apart on the runway. It is just deserts! And I hate that rich brat Laura. Hope she goes soon!

    Bert ss a bit of a teachers pet, kinda like Michael Costello from last season. You can kinda see that Heidi loves these characters, and they'll get carried through with her patronage.

    With Josh M, spot on with the updated George Michael comparison. But George Michael at least has some brains going on behind the arched eyebrows! Josh M's treatment of Becky was reprehensible. But his shallow apology was even more painful to watch.

    I could remember nothing of Josh C either. It's a shame they didn't bring back that African-American dude with the great indie hair. I forget his name. He did those tracksuit pants with the seem that no one liked, but I think they were awesome!

    It seems unfair that Danielle is booted, given how Anthony Ryan failed on all accounts: worst outfit, bad leadership and attempts to throw someone else under the bus. But to some extent, if you're going to go on PR, you know you need to insert your personality into the show. And fight for it to get in there. Danielle goes home for not having as compelling a personality as Anthony Ryan.

    To some extent I blame sexism for this. They really need to give the women more attention to communicate what makes them quirky. And what kind of crazy sexism is involved in racing to be team leader? Although the smartest contestants will never try to be team leader, if they think about things tactically.

    You just know that on the basis of 'saleable personality' Bert will ride all the way to the end (much like Wendy Pepper from Season 1). It seems like Anya is the only interesting designer this season. I'd like to find out more about what makes her tick.

    How's that for a non-linear comment!

  4. Ha ha Alex, you just wrote your own recap! I love talking PR, I can tell you're as much of a tragic as I am :D