Monday, 5 August 2013

Not for me, thanks

Things I don't do:

1) Wear red trousers
2) Wear lacy knickers
3) Eat meat
4) Chew gum
5) Drink Coca-Cola
6) Own a pet
7) Sleep with a teddy bear
8) Buy porn mags
9) Ring the Samaritans
10) Cry my eyes out
11) Giggle uncontrollably
12) Blush
13) Go to the gym
14) Ride a bike
15) Look for trouble
16) Look for excuses
17) Recite poetry
18) Read the Bible
19) Sunbathe
20) Keep a diary
21) Jump for joy
22) Jump queues
23) Bite my nails
24) Dye my hair
25) Go clubbing
26) Collect shells
27) Talk in my sleep
28) Sing in the bath
29) Shoplift
30) Hug trees


  1. Now I really do think you should consider shell collection Nick!

  2. I do
    9 ( I am in training to be one)
    How interesting I am

  3. Suburbia: Apart from my lack of any visible enthusiasm for shells, they would be yet another dreadful dust trap....

    John: Number six many times over! Ten, eleven and twelve? Ooh, you big girl's blouse, you.

  4. I do 2 (of course!), 10, 11 (well, not so much giggle as straight out laughing), 12, 13 (have in the past, currently more running/walking), 14, 15 (in spite of myself), 19 (if covering myself in sunblock and only going out in the low sun hours when I'm at the beach counts), 20 (my blog), 21, 24, 26, 27, 28 (shower), 30. I don't know about 9 because I don't even know what that means.

    You're missing out!

  5. Oops, that was me!

    And what the hell is a big girl's blouse?

  6. Agent: I am missing out, aren't I? I must make a few changes.... Ah, the Samaritans is a helpline for people who're feeling emotionally distraught or suicidal. And a big girl's blouse means an effeminate man. John of course is gay....

  7. Swap 2 for 9 and I could be John G. Though I also keep an appointments diary and my blog is a daily journal (that's probably tautology), so I could add 20 too.

  8. Grannymar: Oh, I've been telling you that for well over six years!

    Z: Lacy knickers are popular, I see. Biting one's nails is common too!

    Bonsaimum: So tree-hugging has its devotees as well!

  9. Only in times of stress - fortunately, August is a quiet month at the Zeddary.

  10. Z: Glad to hear that!

  11. Ah...I think I do quite a lot on your list.

    We can still be friends, can't we? Even if I wear lacy knickers, occasionally chew gum and sing in the bath?

  12. Rosemarie: He he! Oh yes, just because I don't do these things doesn't mean nobody else is allowed to! I'd love to hear you singing in the bath....

  13. Not talk in your sleep, Nick? How do you know?


  14. Ursula: I think Jenny would have told me by now....

    I do talk in my dreams of course. But I don't think that counts, because nobody else can hear it.

  15. "Jenny would have told me by now" - But would she? It's extraordinary what people do reveal in their sleep. I once, sharing a bed with my sister, myself pinned down by her cat on my front, heard her play out a conflict with someone; a conflict I had previously not known about. Interesting. Very.

    My son talks in his sleep. He, the most laid back person I know, is in knots over potential embarrassment when sharing a room with friends. Told him not to worry: At their age they sleep through thunder and lightning.

    I on the other hand, causing me great amusement, will wake myself with my own voice, holding conversations with people in my dreams - aloud. I tell you, Nick: The path to madness is steep. Let's hope I'll never see the zenith.


  16. Ursula: Well, I haven't had any experiences like that. Jenny certainly doesn't talk in her sleep. My sister I wouldn't know about! What wakes me from a dream I don't know, but it's not talking to myself. More like the dream is just getting too anxiety-ridden to cope with!

  17. Ramana: Eh? What's a pity? My dreams getting too anxiety-ridden? Your lack of lacy knickers? The continuing turmoil in the Middle East?

  18. We've got nothing in common. But if you wear my *clean* lacy knickers, we will have.


  19. www: Goodness, what an invitation! Well, why not? I look forward to some clean lacy knickers in next week's mail....

  20. You don't collect shells?! Ah, maybe you are a long way from the beach. There can be no other reason.

    No, wait, you're a man. Husband doesn't collect shells either.

    So much pleasure you are missing out on judging by that list!

  21. Liz: There are beaches a few miles away on Belfast Lough, but I've never felt the urge to collect shells. Is that a man thing or just a lack of interest?

    I may be missing some fun from those 30 items, but the list of things I do do and get pleasure out of would be a great deal longer!

  22. Now my comment disappeared. 21 is my favorite.

    Cheerful Monk

  23. Jean: Really? Do you jump for joy a lot then? You must have a very exhilarating life!

    All three comments went into my spam folder because they were anonymous, but I picked them up on email.

  24. Going to the gym and singing in the bath are rather pleasant habits to acquire, though :)

  25. Jenny: I think about going to the gym occasionally, but as the nearest one is quite some distance away, thinking is as far as I get. I shower rather than bathe, but I might try singing in the shower....