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"My parents saw the president they loved get shot in the head." I saw my president get head." - Elon Gold


Fifty things that women can't do
1. know anything about a car except its colour 2. understand a film plot 3. go 24 hours without sending a text message 4. lift 5. throw 6. run 7. park 8. understand the off-side rule in football 9. read a map 10. rob a bank 11. resist Ikea 12. sit still 13. tell a joke 14. play pool 15. pay for dinner 16. eat a kebab whilst walking 17. pee out of a train window 18. argue without shouting 19. get told off without crying 20. understand fruit machines 21. walk past a shoe shop 22. make a decent bacon sandwich 23. not comment on a strangers clothes 24. use small amounts of toilet paper 25. let you sleep with a hangover 26. drink a pint gracefully 27. get a round in 28. throw a punch 29. do magic 30. like your friends 31. enjoy porn 32. eat a really hot curry 33. get to the point 34. buy plain envelopes 35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet 36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold" 37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates 38. avoid credit card debt 39. dive into a pool 40. assemble furniture 41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb 42. set a video recorder 43. not try and change you 44. watch a war film 45. understand why flirting results in violence 46. spend a day by themselves 47. go to the toilet by themselves 48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket 49. choose a video quickly 50. get this far without having argued with at least 1 of the ABOVE.
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