Thursday, September 21, 2006

One full crazy week smoke free

I made it 7 days.

I got Nicorette.

And I am flippin' INSANE.

Things people won't tell you about quitting but I now know:

  1. Nicorette will get you high. You will get this five minute surge of euphoria, soon to be followed with a peppery burning and feeling like you are about to spew.
  2. Quitting smoking will make your sleep and sleep patterns messed up. I'll be fast asleep dreaming of some hot and steamy love affair (erotic dreams are a side effect, don't judge me.) and then I wake up hanging off the bed in some crazy position wondering if I really did just go do all that I dreamed of... I might have, sleep is so commatose when it hits I have no idea what happens.
  3. I'm delicate like a flower. I have become such a sensitive wussy. If the homeless dude on the street asks everyone else for change but me, I start thinking I'm not good enough.
  4. My overall behavior might be crazy on a much higher level. I am lucky enough to have awesome co-workers. There are four of them that I used to smoke cigarettes with everyday. The smoking crew is known for sitting outside with cups of coffee and bitter/stand off behavoir - we are way to cool for all you pink lungs. Now, I am still allowed to go out and chill with them, but I'm scaring them with how antsy and neurotic I'm acting. If I keep this up, none of them will ever want to quit.
  5. Without a cigarette to plug my mouth, I will say exactly what's on my mind. Oh the inappropriate things I say. It just floods out. Instead of grey puffs of smoke I now just let out big gasps of the madness that are on my mind. Wanna know how I really feel about you or someone else? Get me during a stressful time of day when I would've been sucking down a Parliment, I will lay it all out for you in colorful words and gestures.

With all this insanity though, I have to admit, I am feeling better.

People say "after a week, you know you've beat the addiction".

No, that's not true. It's after the holiday season.

If I can make it through Ground Hog's Day without a cigarette, I'll really feel like I've made it.


Toby Leah Bochan said...

One thing I looked forward to when I quit was this moment described by Norm MacDonald:
"I can taste my food. That's one thing. All my food now has this incredible taste. Oh man, everything I eat, I go hey, what kind of food is that there you're giving me? That's a tangy, zingy food there, isn't it? What kind of a tangy zingy...? It's a boiled potato, huh? Remind me to get the recipe."

I'm rooting for you! Gooo ass-flavored gum! The crazy dreams last for about a month, if I remember right.

Esther Kustanowitz said...

Whoa...good luck! Nicorette sounds like a ride, what with the potential spewage and erotic dreams...

Thanks for the link, BTW.