What’s in a Name?

January 21, 2015


In my novella, What’s in a Name?, the viewpoint character, barista Jimmy Patterson, has noticed that the burly, bearish bartender of Stonewall Saloon wears a different nametag every time Jimmy and his boyfriend come in.  This unleashes curiosity in Jimmy.  What’s the bartender’s name?

Jimmy understand being given a embarrassing name at birth.  After all, his mother named him for the Bible by her hospital bedside: King James.  Fortunately, there was the “James” in there which he immediately turned into “Jimmy.”  And he always had the backup of his initials, K. J.

But Jimmy wonders what it would be like to have no useable parts to a given name.  What if both of the bartender’s names were horrible–especially for someone over six feet tall and burly–and even his initials can’t be used?

In writing the novella, I had to come up with at least seven plausible given names that would be embarrassing for a big, gruff man, names that couldn’t be abbreviated to be acceptable for a bartender.

What are your guesses as to the names I came up with?  What names would you never, ever want as your first name?

6 Responses to “What’s in a Name?”

  1. Angela says:

    Some embarrassing nicnames would be Tiny, skinny or shorty :)
    But as for real names maybe Dick (in dutch it’s just a name but in english it means something else to :)

  2. Pat says:

    Anglea, those are awful names. And, yes, you’re absolutely right about Dick. I think that’s why my son-in-law prefers that we call him Richard or Rick.

  3. Susan says:

    Another embarrassing name would be Aubrey (I don’t see a big guy using Bree as a nickname).

  4. Trix says:

    I was going to say “Marion,” though I guess it evokes images of John Wayne, too…

  5. Pat says:

    Susan, yeah, I’d think Bree would be pretty ghastly for a big guy to use. Maybe he could be an A. B. Though, still, that’s not much better, is it?

    Trix, when I first found out what John Wayne’s real name was, there was no doubt in my mind about why he changed it. Although, maybe he could have made thousands of movie-goers like the name Marion if he’d kept it!

  6. H.B. says:

    I don’t think Lindsay would be a a good name for a guy. It’ll probably be okay to have Say as a nickname but Lie, and lin just don’t sound so appealing for a guy.

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