A Visit to Car Talk Plaza

Robin Newberry sent the following letter

Dear Click and Clack,

Well, your secret is out.

On a recent trip to Cambridge I decided to make the pilgrimage to CarTalk Plaza to meet and greet all of the nutballs involved in putting out your show. I had been in contact with Doug Mayer prior to my trip, and he assured me that we would be welcome to drop by. So, my wife and I, along with our kids, dropped by.

When we arrived at your door, we were accosted in the hallway by an intense individual flashing a badge and demanding to see some ID. Once satisfied that my family was not an itinerant group of rapists and murderers, he revealed that he was, in fact, the guy who owned the bookshop next door. He then took it upon himself to let us in to your offices, so that we might meet all of your hard-working employees.

As it turns out, there is actually only one hard-working employee, whose name is Katherine. Her rather lame excuse for being the only one in the office was that "everyone else had the day off." She told us that Tom was rumored to "work" out of another office somewhere in Boston, but that Ray was hard at work at the garage, and she graciously gave us directions so that we might at least meet Ray.

After a short train ride and a long walk through some of the most dubious real estate I've ever set eyes on, we arrived at the garage, where a very nice man explained to us that Ray was not there.

We schlepped back to Harvard Square and the train, ruminating on fate and existence.

I've been thinking about this for a few days now, and I've come to the conclusion that you do not actually exist, at least not as we mortals understand existence. Some way or another the whole operation is pulled off by the one lone Car Talk employee--Katherine--possibly with the assistance of the wacko next door. How exactly she does all of the voices--while also answering the phone and mail--is a puzzlement, but I'm sure computers are involved.

On the off chance that you do exist (and have simply found extremely cushy jobs), I've one question: how can I get a job like yours?