Feds finally catch up with Whitey Bulger - bad breath and all

Feds finally catch up with Whitey Bulger - bad breath and all
Fugitive mobster James "Whitey" Bulger and his girlfriend, Catherine Greig, in FBI photos. (FBI)

After all these years, how do the feds finally catch Whitey?

By running an ad on "The View." Or "Rachael Ray." Or some other silly daytime women's TV show. Whitey, the president-for-life of the He Man Woman Haters' Club, brought down by the likes of Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.


And where were he and Catherine Greig living? Not in some dreary British tenement, but in Santa Monica, LaLa Land. And no Hollywood ending either.

Hey Whitey, in case you've forgotten, Oklahoma and Florida are death-penalty states.

The best part about this capture is that now our worst nightmare isn't realized. His greedy little brother, Billy, does not get to step forward and claim the $2 million reward - one final thumb in the eye of the American taxpayer.

Not a single confirmed sighting of the creepy old serial killer in the U.S. since 1996, yet the FBI suddenly decides to run those PSAs in a bunch of cities, including Los Angeles.

Did somebody give them a heads-up after all these years?

I know one guy who's very happy - Detective Mike Huff from the Tulsa PD. He's been on this case for 30 years, since Roger Wheeler got clipped in his Cadillac outside the golf club.

The only disappointment for the detective is that they didn't catch him in the location Huff listed on his Tulsa "Wanted" poster where he was most likely to be holed up - "a homosexual nudist camp."

The other distinguishing characteristic, according to Tulsa? "Extreme bad breath."

I guess we'll know about that one soon enough.

Doesn't this mean Kevin (Two) Weeks will now have to testify against his former boss? Wait 'til Whitey gets a look at how Weeks has gone to seed over the last 15 years.

Down in North Carolina, (Rogue FBI agent John) Zip Connolly is finishing up his federal sentence this week, saying goodbye to his new best friend Bernie Madoff, and preparing to begin his 40-year murder sentence in Florida. This isn't good news for the old appeal, Zip.

Stevie Flemmi (a close Bulger pal), in solitary in Otisville, is doing life. This has gotta bring a smile to his face, too.

And the two Somerville gangsters Whitey set up for the FBI - Johnny Martorano and Howie Winter - they're free men now, after doing their bits.

So who really gets the last laugh now?


One last thing: Anybody who's got a book out now about Whitey is going to make a big score here. And anyone who's got two of them is going to do really, really well for the next couple of weeks.

If you see a network TV crew out there, give them my phone number.

Howie Carr is a longtime Boston Herald Columnist who has written two books about James (Whitey) Bulger.

Reprinted with permission of The Boston Herald