Google Glass Invites: Who We Hope Doesn’t Join the Club

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Last night Google sent out a message to its elite cyborg troops —the “Explorers” who paid $1,500 to own a pair of Google Glass when the product was first released in 2010—summoning them to recruit new members. Early adopters of the tech company’s wearable computer program have been granted three invites each, to send to whomever they please as long as they’re U.S. residents over 18 who have $1,500 to spend on computer glasses. Per the invite:


According to many Glass users who have taken to posting the invites on eBay, the best type of Explorers are the ones who have hundreds of dollars to spend on an invite to spend $1,5000 more on computer glasses. One has even taken to warning users of his celebrity status after buying glass: “After you buy these, you'll get a lot of attention from people interested in your new Glass. You'll also start smirking when people call them "Google Glasses" or "Google Goggles." :) Keep that in mind.”

Below, we offer a plea to Glass owners of who in their friend circle they should not invite. Please, humanity’s future depends on you.

—Anyone who is inclined sit at bars, make eye contact with strangers, and say loudly, to no one in particular, “Hey, you’re probably wondering what these silly things on my face are!”


—The friend who pauses a conversation every three minutes to IMDB things like “that really bad Woody Allen movie that co-starred Sharon Stone.”

—People who already have a problem with driving and texting.

—Kanye West. Think of the typos! Oh, dear God, the typos…

—Grandparents who regularly call to complain of their recent fight with Siri

—Kristen Stewart. Glass doesn’t have the technology to understand commands via tortured scowls yet.

—Lenny Kravitz. Because this.

—Dana from Homeland. Think of the sexts! Oh, dear God, the sexts. . . .*

We would like to petition, however, that anyone who dresses up like this for Halloween be given a pair immediately.

Photos: Jeff Bezos, Melinda Gates, Eric Schmidt, and Others at Summer Camp for Billionaires