Why Unconditional love is so important in Child Development



Defining unconditional love:


What is unconditional love? It's knowing that someone loves you no matter what you do, who you are, what choices you make in life, what you get right or wrong. Their support is fundamentally guaranteed. This type of love and support matters most for children to receive from their parents growing up and leads to long-term implications.


I am of the opinion that it is vital to have unconditional love in your life as a child in order to feel that you can step out, be your true self and take anything on in the world.


I wondered over the last few years why I have never felt fear - it's an emotion that I have never really truly understand. I recently read through the huge international bestseller, "feel the fear and do it anyway", by Susan Jeffers. I have never felt fear at doing anything in any of the suggested areas in the book. So I began to question why is this? Why do so many people have to go on a journey of self-discovery to conquer their fears? Why do so many of my clients struggle to be true to their inner selves?


Why is unconditional love so important?:


Why is it so rare for me to see people who are not afraid to be themselves? They have this inner core of strength that allows them to express themselves. Like me, they are always seen as "strong" people. There is a strength of character that in fact attracts people to them that haven't experienced unconditional love themselves growing up.


I describe this feeling as being similar to a tightrope walker at the top of a circus tent who can walk along this fine wire right up in the sky pf the tent because they know there is a safety net below. It's this conviction that no matter what goes wrong in life you have a solid foundation to fall back on. There's an infinite sense of comfort for your whole life that everything is possible for you. You are built for life from the inside out.


Changing the generational patterns:


So why do so many parents struggle to give such a simple comfort to their children? Why is the focus on goals? Often academic ones? Why have we lost sight of what really matters? While recording a podcast on this topic recently it was pointed out to me that you needed to have self-love in order to be able to give unconditional love. Are we simply then stuck in an environmental vortex of not being able to give what we didn't experience ourselves. I know it is possible to give this support to the next generation even if you didn't experience it yourself. But I guess awareness is key. As one of my clients put this into words, "Your work is key. It unlocks a person's potential, which makes them feel worthy and stops them inflicting damage on the next generation."


The search for Self-Love:


I find that when people have not grown up with unconditional love they find their lives searching for a feeling to fill a chasm that has been left inside in them. We often have the wrong focus that results in excess materialism or a real need to prove ourselves academically. We are constantly seeking validation. You constantly read articles on how to produce brilliant, well-adjusted and clever children. I often find parents setting academic milestones for their children to reach or I find the children seeking attention in negative ways with the idea that any attention is better than no attention. These children will often talk about materialistic possessions in a hope to impress others. I find it most disturbing that it often depends on where you were born in a household as to how much love you feel you receive. We have a terrible habit of the first child being born into a family receiving huge attention and then either being pushed to the side with later arrivals or the younger siblings not receiving the same attention in the same way. It really is so easy to give this love to your child which forms such a strong basis for their lifelong development.


The wider implications for human interactions and relationships:


With unconditional love, we could eradicate the need for the whole personal development industry overnight. Since the beginning, I have always strived with my work and research to make myself obsolete. I know to truly make lasting changes to the way we live and interact with each other this has to be achieved through experiences not talking. If you have experienced unconditional love you know how vital this is to pass on to your next generation. If you didn't have unconditional love growing up and you have spent a lifetime searching for a belief that will make you feel whole, you also now know how vital unconditional love is for the people in your own world. Either way, your own life experience has thought you what is needed.






Published by Family Friendly HQ















1: Literacy and intellegnce not in the same sentence.

2: Make school more enjoyable for everyone.






Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly.


Ageism and establishing your role in life before it hits – especially important for women

I have started to see a serious pattern that only self made established people have a place in society in old age. It helps to be your own boss in old age. Employers leave you feeling discarded when they let you go for retirement, particularly for women when this often coincides with the family having grown and left.

This recession has been harsh because it has let people go from jobs at a point in life where they feel there is no return. Larger companies are becoming increasingly underhand in how they force older employees out of the work place. Even our self employed female clients struggle to be confident at a certain age. But if you have not well established yourself in your 40's there seems little hope for you in your 50's, 60', 70's and beyond.

eileen grayIt seems a rarity to find people such as Eileen Gray working up until her 90's or Agatha Christie who wrote her last novel at 83. She in fact wrote the last books for her Poirot and Miss Marple characters 36 years earlier allowing them to age too!agatha christie

When we start to look around for "older" female role models we struggle a bit. One woman told me recently that "the world fails to see you after 50 in the workplace".

So it is becoming increasingly obvious that employees need to start building an exit strategy. The only contented older people I know all are self employed or "self made". The feel like they still have a reason to get up in the morning.

water for elephants100 year old manTwo books in recent years which have been made into films have highlighted the dejected feelings of a nursing home, Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen and the Swedish based book The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson. Both of these are a great insight into older men in the retirement home hell. The hundred year old man really challenges our perceptions of what older people can get up to and how much trouble they can get themselves into!


dame judi dench

We really need Dame Judi Dench and Maggie Smith at 79 to fill our screens and show it's ok to age. You can still do what you love. But if you are relying on others to show you your place in the world you will be waiting. You need to establish yourself before you get old and set yourself up to be taken seriously, regardless of age.



I always enjoy working with older clients because they have so much experience to bring - we just inject the fresh start mentally. It's like working with the full circle of development.




If Hillary Clinton runs for president at age 66 it'll be a new frontier.


Dr Naoise O'Reilly Expression Developist™.


Dr Naoise O’Reilly Methods Development and Purple Success:™











Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly Expression Developist™



Hillary Clinton Informed of New Anti School Shooting and Stabbing School Alarm Prevention System Following Pittsburg Attacks

School Alarm

School Alarm

Hillary Clinton has today been contacted about a simple means to help prevent further school shootings and school stabbings in the United States and around the world by education expert Dr. Naoisé O’Reilly Ph.D. an Expression Developist.

In the aftermath of this weeks latest American school stabbings at Franklin Regional High School in Murrayville near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania the recurring theme amongst convicted perpetrators of similar offenses is that everyone afterwards describes these people as loners.  Dr. O’Reilly said, “there is no safe and fool proof mechanism in place right now and this is what School Alarm fixes.”

She added that, “I’m sick of hearing information after the fact.  If I met one of these students I would instantly know there was something drastically wrong.  If I had walked into a class beforehand I would have sensed that something was brewing.  Somebody always knows deep down that there’s an issue but because of the current system, repercussions and the fear of saying something, especially if you are a teacher, nothing is done.  The fact remains that after these atrocities have happened somebody always comes forward and says the killer was a loner, they were weird, they were being bullied, they never spoke to anyone, they never looked happy.  There’s always oceans of information divulged afterwards - when it is too late.”

There are an unacceptable number of school shootings and school stabbings across the United States, Canada, Mexico, Russia, Finland, Norway, Scotland, Germany, Croatia, Sweden, The Netherlands, Greece, Hungary, France, Argentina, Brazil, Israel, Yemen, The Philippines, China, Thailand, Lebanon, India, Azerbaijan, Australia, New Zealand, Nigeria and so on.  That’s 294 lives lost worldwide in school shootings by bullet injuries alone.  This is not just an American phenomenon.

Dr. Naoisé continued by saying, “I’m not talking about arresting people or locking them away in a psychiatric ward.  It is about somebody non-judgmentally coming along and talking with them, sitting down and listening to them, asking if everything is alright.  There could be an undiagnosed mental condition that can be treated before a violent escalation.  Or perhaps they have a learning difficulty and they have been really struggling in school.  It is usually all down to the fact that they cannot express themselves.  If this was dealt with in an effective way they wouldn’t need to feel that the only way out was to shoot and stab the people around them.”

Dr Naoisé (Expression Developist™) & Marie O'Riordan



Divergent Movie Demystified for Real World by Doctor’s Psychological Profiling

Divergent is making waves in popular culture with the release of part one of the hollywood movie trilogy inspired by Veronica Roth’s books.  This follows the mammoth success of The Hunger Games starring academy award winning actress Jennifer Lawrence.

There are two main themes in Divergent.  The first is that it is bad and possibly even fatal to fit into more than one aptitude.  The second major theme relates to growing away from your parents. 

In Divergent’s futuristic world it is seen as threatening to fit into more than one faction made up of five temperaments which are selfless, peaceful, honest, brave and knowledgeable.  It is difficult to compare this directly to personality theory as it is generally regarded that there are in fact sixteen types of people in the real world.

However, this does compare to our four defined learning styles which are the ways that people take in information from the world.  Our four categories of psychological profiling methods include auditory, visual, practical and kinesthetic.

All of the students we work with that do not fit in a box and struggle in school have what we call multiplicity.  This means, like in Divergent, they have all four aptitudes.  They are quite often overwhelmed by the amount of information they absorb from all environments.  Multiplicity is what people commonly see as “clever” and “intelligent.”  All of our ideas of cleverness and intelligence come from people who can absorb ideas quickly and have a multitude of interests.  This is where we break away from the norm.

Multiplicity is drilled out of children in school by age fifteen.  Only a very small percentage of the older students we meet have still retained their natural multiplicity.  They are quite often seen as “freaks.”  Some of them were very heavily medicated before working with us for just having too much energy or being too “distracted.”

In the film Divergent the main character takes an aptitude test at the age of sixteen.  This is true to school life.  There have been some pretty hilarious conversations within our team about what they were told at sixteen.  The Senior D.N.A. Geneticist on our team was told at sixteen that he would never be any good a science.

This brings us to the second main theme in the film and the challenges the main character experiences when she realizes that she cannot follow her family.  She does not easily fit into their faction and this is a real life experience for many of our students.  Children really struggle when in their teenage years they appear to have nothing in common with their family and parents don’t understand them.

In many cases the students we work with have just simply skipped a generation in aptitudes and personality.  It is quite often revealed that they are much more like their grandparents and great grandparents.  A mother or father can feel that their children have nothing in common with them and this can also be the case in partnerships where there are children from different relationships.

We work with adult clients in the business world in their late thirties too who had struggled to find their path in life.  Having attempted the career path of their parents they have not fitted in.  They quite often do not feel any real support or understanding from home about who they really are.

The good news is that it is perfectly alright to be divergent and movies like this can only help to shine a positive light on psychological profiling and our ongoing research in the area of personality types and achievement.  Anyone who works in personality theory does so because they have an overwhelming desire to help people find out who they really are and wish to help them to succeed.


Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly & Marie O'Riordan


St. Patrick’s Day 2014: Ireland the Land of Learners

One of the great difficulties with education is that we attempt to fit everyone into the same box.  It is generally accepted that this does not happen but how else can we effectively teach the masses?  Well, as we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day and all that is Irish this is in fact the first mistake when thinking about teaching.  If we instead focus on the learners, the actual students and look at the world from their perspective we may begin to not only accommodate everybody but have them reach their full potential.  Most of all, even experience these people being happy and enjoying education.

So, if we take the learning nation of Ireland, what are we really like here?  We are a country stockpiled with sociable chatterboxes and have a huge number of successful athletics when you think about the size of this land.  We make an impact wherever we go and we are also very generous philanthropically for the size of Ireland.  We as a race contribute hugely to global charities, peace keeping forces and volunteer work.  We are hugely proud of anything remotely Irish.

So, in simple terms that makes us auditory and kinesthetic learners that need huge amounts of encouragement and praise.  We really care about what everyone else thinks of us.  So like most other parts of the world we are a largely extrovert society.  We need to work with others in social settings and we are very social beings.

The hugely interesting fact about auditory learners is that they do not need to just listen, they need to talk as well.  We all know how much we Irish love to speak.  The idea of us starting school at five and learning to be quiet in a classroom situation is just outright ridiculous.  We must admit that we work our way through so much in Ireland by gossiping. The information overload taxi driver, the restroom queue gossip or the local store conversation. It makes us better able to cope with the legendary Irish rainy weather if nothing else.

One of the real difficulties with being an auditory learner (besides just being in trouble in class for talking all of the time) is the rambling way we work, there is no structure.  This is the most common difficulty that many of our students have, especially all the super talkative kinesthetic boys who are brilliant on the sports field but feel like trash at everything else in school.  They simply have no idea how to structure an answer or to focus their thoughts onto the page at hand.

Sure, for the Irish it is perfectly alright and acceptable to write exactly the way you talk too.  The best way to work with auditory kinesthetic learners is through role play.  This is sociable group work that allows us to talk out scenarios.  We get to put ourselves in the situation and we all do great in this part of oral school examinations.  We are a country filled with bucket loads of generationally provided and divided political views.  It is important for us to get to talk about these at length on a regular basis.

Students almost fall off of their chairs with shock when we ask them what they think or have a personal opinion on, but it is so much easier to write about what you feel especially when this is what matters to you when you are kinesthetic.  Normally boys just get to run this out of their systems on the sports field rather than working through it in english or history class.

It is equally vital to allow us Irish to talk about everything that matters to us in our own unique way.  The Irish have a great gift of the gab, the wit that has a name for every object, landmark and sculpture.  We talk about creativity and innovation, this is a wonderful example of innovation with words.  We can express any situation as a joke.  We have always been gifted story tellers and can spin any yarn.

We are also hugely competitive, hence our many sporting heroes, the mark we leave whatever we set our minds to.  Competition is such a great way to inject energy into any learning environment too.

There is a pride deeply engrained in the Irish and as a result we can never cope with being made a fool of in public.  We may try to joke our way out of any situation but it hurts deeply.  Everyone we have ever spoken to in this country has a school story where they lost face and they have never forgotten it.  This is why we have to focus on the learners always, the real people we are helping to grow and develop.  Everyone is different but we all fall into patterns of behavior that can be accommodated.  You can't just take an education model from one country to another and expect it to work, especially since the models are always developed for the teachers and governments not the students.  There are very simple patterns and learning styles but you have to look for them and you have to use each nations strengths and values to achieve what is important for them, even the Irish.  Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the island of saints and scholars.

Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly & Marie O'Riordan



ADHD Treatment

I was delighted that the kindle version of the ADHD book I'm part of was launched last week in the US - according to them I'm one of the experts with proven results they searched the planet for!

Link to kindle book on Amazon

Purple Profiling™ & My Business Hat

It might seem odd to combine Business and Education but then I'm not your typical educationalist - in fact that is why I had to devise a new term and genre, Expression Developist™. 

For me success is all held in the key to being able to be the best of yourself and express the person you truly wish to be!

Recently someone told me that,

"When I speak with you I feel that you are looking into my soul and it is so liberating."

The important point for me here is not just that I can see people's true potential inside but that it is ok for me to do this. People feel safe and trust that there will be no judgement of their crazy ideas and dreams. I have been told repeatedly by clients that "you give me permission to be myself" and recently in the pub when I was asked what I do and groaned... a friend stepped in and described what I do for me .. I hate the question "what do you do?" I was described as having "an aerial view brian" that can see where everyone is, the best thing they should be doing and how to go about doing it.

This is why we can together to blow it out of the water with The Forever Method. We combine our expertise, mine being how people tick to have them excel in as short a time as possible! For me this is why I can combine my work in Purple Profiling with the genius of The Forever Method because both are results driven and get those amazing results in the shortest timescale humanly manageable! For me it doesn't matter if I am working with an 18 month old small person or a 72 year old big person. The end result is the same - for them to truly Express themselves to Success!

Some of our resent success stories and media coverage are below

David did 6 figures in 7 days to beat entire 2012 in just a week after Marie & Dr. Naoisé of The Forever Method


CBS Money Watch also featured Our Client David & Us after His financial success in just 7 days with The Forever Method

CBS Money Watch

Our Client David & Us featured on ABC, FOX, NBC, CBS etc. since His massive success within 7 days of working with Us

ABC News

We made Top News Story in Business & Leadership


RTÉ Nationwide National T.V. Show on Marie O’Riordan & Dr. Naoisé O’Reilly transforming the World of business


Our Biographies at The Forever Method


What ADD & ADHD are really all about explained by Dr. Naoisé O’Reilly

I always see ADD and ADHD as an affect of what is really going on with the students who come to me looking for help and support with their school work. This has helped me to coin a term over the last 4 years called "Diffuse Focus™" to describe what is really happening for them. I equally see these patterns of behaviour carried through to adult life with our business clients!


Dr. Naoisé (Expression Developist™)


Welcome to the Purple Learning Project.


