Has Your Partner Shut You Out?


Your partner may seem distant, unengaged and uninterested in the relationship.

This can lead to you feeling shut out.  You may even push for answers, asking “What’s wrong?  Why won’t you talk to me?  Why aren’t we close anymore?”

Unfortunately, this can sometimes backfire and cause your partner to shut down and shut you out even more.

So what recourse do you have?

In this blog, I’ll tell you what to do when your partner has shut you out, giving you 2 tips for opening the door once again to your partner’s heart.  Please keep reading…

When a Partner Shuts You Out

If your partner has shut you out, you may feel very hurt—even abandoned.

That’s a natural response.  When you’re in a relationship, you expect it to be a close and loving partnership, at least the majority of the time.  A deep, abiding emotional connection is what we all crave in a relationship.

So when your partner shuts you out, you can feel very alone, as if you’re really not in a relationship at all.  And this is unhealthy, both for you and your partner and what ties that do keep you together.

If you’re used to talking about problems to work them out, you may be confused about why your partner is just the opposite.  After all, how does shutting you out resolve anything, right?

But some people are not comfortable with what they perceive as conflict—even if resolution would make them feel better in the long run.

Also, there are many people who aren’t comfortable expressing their emotions.  So, for example, if your partner feels hurt about something, such as their perception that you haven’t been giving them enough time and attention lately, they may crawl into their shell to nurse their wounds.

However, this jeopardizes a strained emotional connection even further.

So how do you get a partner who has shut you out to let you back in?

Here are 2 tips to get your partner to once again open the door to their heart:

Heart-Opener Tip #1: Create an Emotional-Connection Conducive Environment

How do you think your partner would respond if you planned something that was just for them?

Everyone likes to know that the people they love know them well enough to know their likes and dislikes.  One way to get your partner to open up is to plan a special day or evening where the focus is on them.

It can be a day trip to see something they’d enjoy, such as a museum or historic site.  Or, you could plan a meal for your partner with all of their favorite foods featured.

This creates an environment where the emotional connection can begin to repair: your partner will have a smile on their face from your effort, and you’ll be smiling to see them happy.

Heart-Opener Tip #2: Write a Heartfelt Letter

Once we’ve been in a relationship for a while, we forget to do some of the simple little things that actually add up to something big.

For example, many couples can say that they have a few letters from each other from their early days of dating.  People seem to enjoy pouring out their heart when they are feeling the new flush of love.

And then… we get comfortable with each other and forget to say those things, let alone write them.

So surprise your partner: compose a heartfelt letter.  You can include happy memories, things you appreciate about them today, and hopes for the future.  This may help spark a conversation where they open up to you and let you in.

My best to you in getting your partner to open up.

When is the last time you planned something special for your partner?

When is the last time the two of you wrote each other letters?

Why do you think your partner shuts you out?

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.