This is why I love George Carlin

This is why I say George Carlin was a genius…

From the naked mind of George Carlin

1. When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
3. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
4. When someone is impatient and says, “I haven’t got all day,” I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
6.If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
7. Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
8. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
9. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
10. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
12.I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
15. Electricity is really just organized lightning.
16. Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
18. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
19.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
21. Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker? 
22. There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
23. As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
24. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.