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It's so can you NOT care?????

DarkStar's picture

I get to add another disgusting hygiene SD story to the many already on this site, yay me!
Laundry is one of my chores. It's my chore zen. I stopped doing SD16's laundry almost 2 years ago because of the nasty period/poo panties, failure to put clothes in the bin, and leaving her socks and panties all balled up with her pants.
I have also stopped telling her to do laundry because she is 16 friggin years old and I'm done.
It has been at least a month since she has done laundry. I try not to think about it. Gross.

There was a schedule mess this week and I did some dropoffs so we could all get to school and work on time. I drop SD16 off on Tuesday and notice a smell of Fritos corn chips and how she has major saggy butt on her jeans. You know how jeans get all stretchy when you don't wash them and how the smell of unwashed clothes kind of smells like Fritos? Just like that. THEN I notice a half-dollar sized round dark spot in the middle of her butt crack. Gee, I wonder what that could possible be?

In good disengagement form, I say NOTHING to SD16, but mention it to FDH. Last night, FDH was telling me how SD16 was stinking up the car but that she had just showered the previous evening. "It's because she hasn't done laundry in over a month and she's been wearing the same period stained jeans for over a week. I TOLD you about this, FDH." FDH calls SD16 over, and sure enough, same nasty period jeans. FDH asks why she hasn't changed clothes..."I haven't done laundry"....why hasn't she done laundry...."I dunno." I wanted to scream "because she is a lazy piggy that can't do anything without Daddy up her butt reminding her!"

We are all in a hotel for last night and tonight. The wood floors at our house are being refinished and need time to cure. SD16 could not be bothered to bring clean clothes, but she sure found it important enough to bring her nasty pillowpet blankie thing that she uses to suck her thumb and sleep at night.

I just don't get all these nasty SDs. How can you stand to be dirty or to be wearing dirty clothes as a soon to be adult????? And also as disturbing, as a Dad, how can you not be bothered that your 16 year old daughter is not practicing basic hygiene? She had her nasty period butt on the leather seats in my car, all over the couches, chairs.....GROSS!!!!


tog redux's picture

Many kids nowadays seem about 3 years behind their chronological age, so think of her as 13 and you have your answer.

Thisisnotus's picture

This is so true for skids! I thought when SD16 got a boyfriend this year she’d change her habits...wrong!

she still rarely showers and then she goes to school without brushing her hair or teeth wearing what look like dirty PJs. The first time her boyfriend come over DH even said to that what you are wearing? Are you going to shower? Then she wolfed down 4 pieces of pizza and had sauce all over face.

DarkStar's picture

Well, I didn't get my period until I was 14, so I couldn't say about a 13 year old, but I had a couple of "leaks" at school where it went through to my pants and I.WAS.HORRIFIED that someone would notice and know that I was on my period! Even more horrified that someone would notice that I smelled bad!
I just don't get it. Why isn't she embarrassed? In this day and age of selfies and me me me, why doesn't she care? It's so gross.

MurphysLaw's picture

It's very strange behavior but so very common to read about on this forum.

 I was exactly like yourself when I was 12+, I HAD TO take a bath & wash my hair EVERY DAY. I never had an "accident" at school TG! I would have had to change schools or die of embarrassment.

I don't know if it's this generation …or is it only CODs???

tog redux's picture

Yeah, true - that's a good point. I'd have been horrified to walk around with period-stained jeans at 13.

But why oh why doesn't DH MAKE her do her laundry? My mother wouldn't have allowed to behave that way even if I wanted to.

Jcksjj's picture

This is weird to me, because shes at the age where appearances and not being gross should matter to her ALOT.

Besides being disgusting, it seems more typical of a boy that's like 8. I mean obviously not the period part, but the lack of caring about hygiene. 

ndc's picture

I read about all these gross teenage girls on here, and I just don't get it.  I was a clean freak at that age - showered at least once a day, hair washed daily, face washed multiple time daily, teeth brushed multiple times a day, wore clothes once and then worried they'd smell (drove my mom nuts with my having to wash jeans constantly).  OK, I'm talking personal cleanliness; my room was still a mess.  All of my friends were the same way back then.  The teenage girls I know now practice good hygiene.  My skids, who are only 4 and 7, practice excellent hygiene.  I feel so fortunate that I don't know any of these gross kids, because it would really disgust me. There is no way that I would allow that in my home.  Yuck!  If the skids turn into disgusting creatures who don't bathe and wear dirty clothes, they can take their filth to BM.  Except that BM is a total clean freak and wouldn't allow it.

MurphysLaw's picture


Oh God yes!!! I was terrible about that too! Probably around 12-13. I can't imagine wearing same clothes day after day....gross.

CLove's picture

My SDs couldnt be more different if they tried. SD13 Munchkin is more mature than SD20 Feral Forger. Munchkin is also good about cleaning, her room smells like feet but thats ok, shes GENERALLY clean. However her showers are so infrequent that I worry.

Feral Forger, according to munchkin, will drink and take meds, puke in her bed and sleep in it. Cockroaches were found in her room as well, but she has since moved out and the apartment bug bombed.

Feral Forgers room at our house was so nasty that when Dh would take off the door I would beg for it to be put back on, because the funk was so bad. When we cleaned out her room after she moved out, bags and bags of trash and dirty clothes, and dirty period pads, and all that.

Dh is a clean freak. Toxic Trll Bm is a dirty woman, and supposedly her apartment is a shambles.

I think its a combination of your parents getting on you, your own cleanliness...

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

My SD13 is like two different people.  When she is here, she showers daily and changes clothes every day.  I know because she puts her clothes in the hamper every night.  

When she spends time at BM's house, she rarely showers or brushes her teeth.  We know this because she stinks when we pick her up.  And my DH will bluntly ask her when the last time she showered was and she will tell him several days or she doesn't remember. I think it is not an expectation at BM's house so she doesnt do it.  BM and her house are filthy. SD knows the deal when she comes back.  She goes straight in the shower and any clothes she wore are put straight in the washer.  Then her hair is lice treated.  We do this every time, no exceptions.

Chmmy's picture

Even SS12 & 11 shower every night & wear clean clothes. Sometimes DH has to remind them to shower because they'd rather look at screens but they know they have to shower or they lose screen time. I'm the last person to praise DHs parenting but he doesn't allow them to go to school dirty.

Step-girlfriend's picture

This is sooo gross!!! I couldn't keep quiet, I would be on her like white on rice. I'm so glad my SO is as Into hygiene As I am. He has a very sensitive sense of smell, so if a skid hasn't put deodorant on or showered he knows. Sometimes they have showered that day, but didn't put deodorant on, and he reams them out. Now SS13 showers without being told every morning, and even SD10 showers without being told 9 times out of 10, every day or every other day at the very least. It's amazing. We don't put up with stink in our house! 

somethingwicked's picture


Invest in water proof  covers for your car seats or cheap throws that can be laundred.Cover your home  furniture as well.

Pack a can of Lysol in your car and lots of alcohol based hand wash gel.

Her father is a failure and poor parent when he allows this behavior to prevail.Get him to take her to a therapist to discover why she has zilch self esteem.

Does she have any friends? I wonder if they also enjoy their concentrated body odors?

Very sad this young person who has no clue about basic hygiene extending to clean underwear and clothing.

As your title says~How Can You Not Care?That extends to her father as well.

Ban them BOTH to the back yard shed until he gets her cleaned up and some therapy. 

And I love your description of doing laundry as  your  "chore zen"..I think I will steal that as I enjoy it ,too.


somethingwicked's picture

OT~ what kind of wood floors have you and what kind of stain /sealant is being applied.

We have solid maple wood floors all through and I am so torn about how to refinish  ..thanks for any info.


Cooooookies's picture

Ok really you have a DH and his ENORMOUS lack of parenting problem!!  That is disgusting.  As you know, SS17 loves to poo himself until the ripe old age of 15.  However, we were always on it.  Always making him wash them out, have shower, ground him when he hid them or sat in it, etc.  Even now, if he smells like teenage swamp arse, I tell him and he showers.  He showers every night now.  But DH and I were on him about personal hygiene.  Always.

Your DH is allowing this.  I'd have that girl in a hot shower, clothes in the bin and make her sit her stank butt in a laundry mat until all her damn clothes were clean!!  I'd be fumigating her, her clothes, her room and wouldn't let her do anything or go anywhere unless she was spotless.  That's what your DH should be doing!  Kids don't magically learn these things!

Just. EWW.

Harry's picture

Is no driving SK around.  If you did not drive her yoir car would not smell.  No one can associate you with SD. 
And yes the major failure is your DH for not parenting her.