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Greatest Hits - 2 years 7 months

"Of course I didn't put a poop in the dining room. I put it in the kitchen."

1. Sleeping is not always a pleasant experience. Ana's first night in her new "big bed" started out relatively well. She went to bed happily, on board with the new arrangements - that is until about 2 a.m. Thank God for baby monitors! Over the airwaves, as calm as could be, we hear "Help. I'n stuck. He-elp! I'n stuck!" Upon investigation, Daddy discovered that Ana had rolled out of the space between her toddler rail and the headboard and in the process of falling to the floor, had instead gotten her head wedged tight between her nightstand and the bed. Had it have been either of us, we both agreed that we would be a lot less calm when calling out for help. Luckily it has caused no fear of sleeping, but Ana does like to say "Ana stuck" and point to the offending spot each time we tuck her in at night.

2. This month Ana coined her own toddler-appropriate version of the phrase "shit happens": "Sometimes the poop comes out."

3. The beginning stages of potty training are about as fun has having your toenails slowly pulled out one by one. It is hard to remain positive when changing a panty-load of #2 in the Walmart bathroom and hearing the snickers from under the next stall as you go through your Mommy routine: "It's okay, honey. Just tell Mommy next time when your poo-poo needs to come out and then we can put it in the potty instead of in your pants. Poo-poo likes to go in the potty. NO! Don't put your hand there!" (This was the moment that inspired the aforementioned "Sometimes the poop just comes out".)

4. The cursing like a sailor continues, made worse by Mommy finally addressing it after Ana let a "shit" fly in the very quiet public library. Ana overheard trying to leave a playdate the other day: "Sh*t, I can't open the door." The worst part is that she always uses it appropriately.

5. If you've read Terri Hatcher's book, Burnt Toast, you know that the title came from Terri's propensity to serve herself the worst of everything and give the better pieces to her family. After Mommy burnt toast the other day, she took the burnt piece and gave Ana the golden brown one, prompting Daddy to say, "Just call Mommy Terri Hatcher." Taking it as a command, Ana did. For the rest of the day. "Terri Hatcher, I wanna milk." "Terri Hatcher, I hava go pee-pee."