


Love, Life and Feelings









For me at least, these 3 categories cover everything that I choose not to dwell on as a thinker. Everything I don’t want to feel sits under these umbrellas… and psychosis doesn’t shower you with stuff, it pelts you with lead injected olives!

I have profound realisations during this turmoil; because when you are really really scared of one thing, you lose the ability to be strong about the rest of the stuff in your life. And if you’re really unlucky, the dopamine shoots you some inner mdma (the base ingredient of ecstasy) and it completely removes all anger; opening up a river of empathy for others; one that your wise thinking mind could never grasp!

FOR DAYS… I haven’t stopped blubbing at movies I normally laugh at… I’ve lost the digi-box remote so its DVD ‘chick-flick-arama’ @ Dawny’s. Even the top ten comedies are making me sob like a baby!

So without this hell that I periodically go through…I may well be an emotionally detached robot. And that would be a truly shocking state of affairs

So I’m forced to say….Cheers Psychosis, you necessary yet hideous little Shite of my life you!

7 responses

  1. Albertass, I love the description in your comment and I totally agree with you; these empathy bitch slaps are by far the hardest, I feel everything all day! Everything…as for it leading no-where good, I have to say that every time I come out the other side I do figure something out that sits deep deep down, that I needed to, sometimes growth comes disguised in mass foilage…thanks so much for commenting 😉 Dawny

  2. Ahhhh Pleut, Thank-you…this is a beautfiul comment and it made me semi sob! FFS! I am a leaking tap 😉 stay on the peninsula bayo le freese! As for sadness, i’m still pelting the swine, sadness is the after effect of all 3 so it can definately still ‘DO ONE’ asap. I shall be laughing at it again before long! Enjoy The UAE! No kissing on the street, you’ll be banged up!

  3. hey chook, I’m not on any medication although I should be according to many people. The pills are to awful and I can’t function so I ride the insanity whilst pretending to be fine tut half the world ;). The chemical surges are bought on naturally by mania and psychosis; it just somehow hooks you up with the stuff that you have buried for years. I hope that makes a bit of sense! oh and I thinks its gaba/dopa/and serotonion that fluffs me up! (not actual mdma) the body is not THAT clever lol 😉

  4. I’m not sure what to think about that. Is it the psychosis that’s good for you? or the pills that bring on the outpourings of empathy? I have to think about what you’ve written a bit more!

  5. I think you owe your sadness an apology too, you belted it with abuse last time BUT at least it still forces you to feel it.

    Being emotionally void is not necessarily a bad place but it is an isolating one for most of the part.

    dare i say without ghost and sister act, and some odd snippets of random things like charlie biting his brother’s finger, i would be completely off into a deep thinker island rather than the penisula i am currently on.

    but still try and free yourself from the terror,fear and shame, don’t let them cage in your wings, they are too beautiful to stay folded forever

  6. I sometimes find the bouts of excessive empathy worse than the bouts of anger. They somehow open the lopsided gate to that dark, foliage covered, tree canopied lane with overgrown roots that grab at my heels. Beautiful at the start, but it leads no where good.

    Great post. Thank you.