To Your Health

It is incredibly important, as you know, to examine in fine detail every ingredient in everything you put into your body. Your body is a TEMPLE, you know. More importantly, your body is the machine that keeps your brain alive. If you wish, therefore, to have a well-functioning brain, you really ought to ensure its body temple is kept neat and tidy. It’s rather like your computer or your vehicle; you don’t want all the working bits to get grotted up with refuse and bits of skin and tiny mites and dust and God knows what.

In Canada, all food items have to have list of ingredients on them. And, as the health gurus say, you really ought not consume any food which contains ingredients you cannot pronounce. Of course, that is a bit of tongue-in-cheek advice, as any one of us can pronounce Sodium carboxymethylcellulose and Disodium ethylenediaminetetraacetate and Neohesperidin dihydrochalcone and Tert-butylhydroquinone if only we *try*. It’s not the same, of course, as eating fresh, whole foods, but one does what one can.

In our house, we do try to eat well, although I must admit, sometimes I’m rather lazy when it comes to these sorts of things. So we try to make sure that for those times when our diet consists of burgers from fast-food restaurants and soup-from-a-can, we also have vitamin supplements handy. And, as you can see from the list of ingredients on this supplement drink, it is *very* healthy. It has things like parsley and spirulina and wheat grass and kelp.

It contains all sorts of green things that are very, very healthy for you. It’s chalk full of minerals and vitamins and things that plants use to do impressive things like photosynthesis that we could do too, if only we were more similar to plants on a cellular level. So, in an effort to be more plant-like, which of course, means more healthy (I bet you never saw a plant get rubella, did you?), we consume green things. Like peas, and cucumber, and broccoli.

And spinarch.

Spinarch, is, as you know, a sort of leafy green vegetable that can only be found in London’s East End. It is very high in all sorts of things that are necessary for continued health, such as the colour green. And the adjective ‘leafy’.

Because spinarch is a vegetable, your children might not be all that keen on eating it at every meal. In fact, some children flatly refuse to eat spinarch at all. You can sometimes sneak it in to their casseroles or lasagnas, but children are often very clever little buggers and can suss it out even if you’ve hidden it very, very well. Other children, however, love the stuff. They turn out to be the most capable sorts of people when they become fully actualised, probably because as scientists will tell you, spinarch is a powerful ‘brain food’. Now. That doesn’t mean you feed it directly to your brain! Oh, no. You cannot mainline spinarch. It must be taken orally.

It’s so good to know that supplement manufacturers can now include the juice of the elusive spinarch plant (which grows to be at least thirty feet tall, with a very narrow spine, causing the tops to bend rather markedly at the height of the plant’s growth cycle. In the great spinarch farms of East End London, enormous groves all bend together, giving a curved appearance under which great numbers of randy young Cockneys have courted) in their vitamin beverages. I, for one, am relieved.




i make squee noises when you tell me stuff.


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