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I try so hard to understand and I just can't

Why do grocery stores place black pepper in the egg section~am I missing something....salt taste so much better on hard boiled eggs than just pepper.

What exactly does "one size fits most" really mean to clothing me it means if you have boobs or an ass it will make you feel like a tuna boat.

Why if I wax my brows at night do I swear I grow em back by morning.

How did I ever miss "Gilmore Girls" when it was in primetime?  I love it.  Just like me I don't find a series until it's over, think "Firefly"

Mean girls?  What's the purpose really?  When you mean girls, you know who you are, snigger at someone in public or roll your eyes and look over at me, are you expecting because maybe we dress alike that I'm going to smile and agree with you?  No you will get the patented Bacongal "eat shit and die" look.  Graybelle named that look back in the late 80's, so I'm very good at it.

Oh and more about the above...mean girls.  I think they exist for two reasons, separately or are mean because you are hungry and therefore bitchy or because your mom's let you be a mean girl.  My mom, she told me I had two choices, be nice or be quiet.  Ha!

Jalapeno spiced sweet potato chips...someone please make them, I'll buy them in bulk.

Why at the end of a 5k do people anchor it right at the finish line to take a selfie?  Why?  You know that chip that you ziptied to your shoe, well it times you and some of us really care about our time.  I swear I'm steamrolling the next selfie taker.  Look for news at 11.

Soooo if I get a bikini wax, do you actually have to see my junk?

Really?  I like my junk it's pretty and all and useful but I think it's just for me and Riddick


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