Feels like I'm in this alone

Month after month AF shows her ugly red face. Every month a little piece of my soul dies. I'm losing all sense of hope. I used to be able to see myself as a mom. Now I just picture myself alone, with my husband who seems to lack empathy. I try to talk to him but always get the same bullshit response..."I'm sorry, we'll try again. FUCK OFF. I wish for one moment he'd understand. I wish he understood how much I feel like a failure of a wife. I wish for one moment he'd say just what I want him too, with out me telling what to say. I'm approaching 39, the rate for success just goes down. Now I don't even feel like trying anymore. Why take the Clomid? Why BD? Why care?