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  • Edie Montreux

Going to Hell

This fall and winter, our neighborhood has suffered an invasion of Jehovah’s Witnesses. For some reason, they think we need to be converted, now more than ever. They get much better reception from Lemur. I…well, I should have slammed the door in their faces. Instead, I told them where to shove their pamphlet.

I don’t care that they were children. What do children know of God? What their parents told them. When I see a person who has chosen the Watchtower for himself, then I will run hard and fast away. When I see a child pedling wares of stupidity on my doorstep in five-degrees-above-zero temperatures, I am thankful for a warm house and a double-locked door between them and me. I hope their parents have enough sense to get them home before they freeze to death.

Well aware I’m going to hell, if it exists. That’s right. I said “if.” Pretty sure their little book doesn’t even begin to answer the questions I have about the validity of their religion. (Or any religion.)