The Key to Self Awareness

Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed. ~Thich Nhat HanhSelf awareness is a vital key to your ultimate freedom. Why do we do what we do? What causes us to take the action and make the choices we make? Or to maybe NOT take the action we know we should take?

Being able to self reflect and really know why we do what we do is imperative to our creating the change we want in our lives and world.

So what’s key to being self aware? Honesty. Not with someone else, but with you. Yep, being honest with yourself is imperative to self awareness. We can fool a lot of people and we spend an awful lot of time trying to fool ourselves, but as is usually the case, honesty is the best policy.

When we’re honest with ourselves about what we’re really feeling we can get to the heart of the issue. How many times have you found yourself upset with someone or something only to realize later that your level of upset didn’t really match the offending situation? Or maybe you were upset with the wrong person!

Each of our emotions are layered like an onion. The core of it was the first time you ever experienced the emotion. Perhaps you picked up the energy from a parent or other family member, maybe something upsetting happened to you, or both. From that first moment until you release it and allow the energy to move, that emotion continues to attract layer upon layer through each similar experience in our lives.

What you feel majorly upset about today is actually the extension of an emotion that many times started years ago.

When we know this we are able to see how we can sometimes over-react to small situations. They sure don’t seem small in the moment, but that’s because it carries with it years of upset, injustice, resentment, anger, fear, hurt or worry. That’s not to say that all situations are small. It’s just an opportunity to recognize that no matter what the circumstance we can respond differently.

What’s currently “wrong” in your life? What are you upset about?

You already know what it is. It’s that thing you think about all the time that makes you feel terrible. (When you think about it, where do you feel it physically in your body? Stomach, heart, throat, lower back, neck?)

Your weight, anxiety, your or a family members nagging health issue, money, your child, your aging or ailing parents, relationship issues, grief, your inability to get pregnant or an upcoming meeting/appointment/event.

Maybe it’s something that’s happening to another person or a situation you have no control over. That’s OK too. Your newly expanded self awareness will help you in finding clarity.

Ask yourself what’s at the core of my feeling about this situation? Do you feel responsible for fixing it? Do you feel like you should have done something to prevent it? Are you angry at the person you’re worried about? Let yourself explore your emotional feelings around the struggle. Allow yourself to get familiar with how you honestly feel.

Ask yourself what’s really going on? What started this? What’s this really about? When was the first time you recall feeling this emotion? Do you feel scared, mad, overlooked, overwhelmed, unworthy or not good enough? Regardless of your answers, it’s OK. Everything is always working out for us, no matter what it might look like right now.

Let yourself ask the questions and then relax. Don’t rack your brain trying to figure it out. It’ll come up easy enough, and if it doesn’t don’t force it. Notice where you feel it physically and soften around it. Tell yourself you’ll think about it later, but right now you’re just going to be. Breathe deeply and give yourself some mental and physical soothing and support. As you move through the physical energy, your mind will have access to more positive perspectives and ideas.


When you become truly aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions a picture of your life will emerge. Things you struggled over or wondered why about will suddenly come clear and you’ll have a better grip on what you want and what you need to do to get there.