Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Building Trust after Reprimand

A reprimand is one of the hardest situations that a leader ever has to deal with as it is always used as a last resort.  It is negative in nature, corrective in consequence and ever-lasting in effect.  It is difficult for the leader and for the one receiving the reprimand to move forward.  So what happens after the reprimand?  Do hard feelings persist?  Does awkwardness abound?  Is the organization affected? 

The answer to all of these questions is yes to some degree.  The ultimate purpose of a reprimand is to direct actions in the right direction.  It is designed to help the employee perform in a way that benefits himself and the organization.  But there is always this disconnect, a chasm of mistrust.

There are times when reprimands result in a change in behavior.  And when reprimands are effective, leaders can rebuild trust with the employee.  Other times, the behaviors don't change, so trust is difficult to reestablish.  So how can leaders cultivate a productive working relationship with employees that struggle with being written up?

Here are ways that leaders can build trust after a reprimand.

Wait Time

A reprimand is a painful experience and emotions run high afterwards.  Allow time for both you and the employee to return to normal and get back into a work routine.  Just getting back to work provides an eventual open door to reestablish communication.

Personal Conversation

Leaders move to talking about work and don't check in with the employee on their personal life.  Asking about their family, how their weekend was or their feelings on a current event conveys interest in the person.  It breaks down barriers and allows the employee to see the leader in a different light.


People need to hear that they are moving in the right direction.  Affirmation is the critical component of constructive criticism.  Acknowledging the current reality coupled with gauging improvement towards the target is necessary if the employee is going to feel comfortable trusting in the leader.

Positive Feedback

We all grow with praise.  Leaders must realize that celebration through positive feedback is critical if the employee is every going to reach your expectations.  The praise may not be directly related to the target of your expectation, but everyone does something well.  Let them hear about it.


Nothing breaks the ice better than a good sense of humor.  Showing your humor regularly communicates your humanity and your heart.  The best leaders use their humor wisely and purposefully to make sure all employees see them as approachable and ultimately trustworthy.

When we were corrected as children and as students, we felt attacked, guilty or less than worthy.  We all are hard-wired from childhood to react this way as adults, even if we acknowledge that the reprimand is correct.  Leaders can bridge the divide so that employees can overcome a reprimand and get to the real purpose of  reprimand and that is growth...

Why We must Listen to Excuses

This morning, I read a great post by @leadershipfreak called Getting Past Excuses, and it was very powerful for me to understand the importance of building systems to help teams and individuals get past making excuses so they can move to action.

But what about the excuse?

There was a reason that it was made in the first place. Leaders move too quick to the "get over it" mentality when dealing with the person who is making excuses. Moving past the excuse without analyzing the source of its existence can lead to the excuse rearing its ugly head in the future. In essence, getting over it without identifying the source can lead to resentment and ultimately lack of productivity.

What causes a person to make an excuse?

1. Fear
People make excuses if they fear for their job, status or safety. Leaders must probe excuse-makers with questions that help the person resolve their fear, but more importantly help the leader identify if systems or statements made by the leader have generated fears within the individuals or better yet, the organization as a whole.

2. Misconceptions
Excuses can be the result of preconceived ideas about expectations that are not what the leader intended to communicate. When leaders make a statement, followers can internalize it to mean many things. Listening for misconceptions, asking follow up questions and clarifying misunderstandings can definitely build trust between the leader and members of the organization; thus reducing the frequency of excuses being made.

3. Old Expectations
Expectations that were made 5 years ago or two leaders ago still exist in every organization. Whether you like it or not, leaders must listen to excuses to see if an antiquated expectation is preventing individuals or teams from being able to produce results. If so, the leader must clarify and rectify the discrepancy so teams can move forward.

There are quotes as far as the eye can see that speak to the weakness within excuses and excuse-makers. I contend that excuses communicate something deeper, a weakness of trust within the organization. Leaders must listen to organization to identify gaps in trust and understanding in order for teams and individuals to move to a place where flexibility and empowerment transform excuses into action.

We have a choice. We can listen to excuses and use them as building blocks of systemic progress, or we can dismiss them all together and watch our organization fail to achieve.

What's your excuse for not listening to excuses?

Humble Pie for Thanksgiving

My taste buds are ready for Thanksgiving, and there's one reason why. There are so many pies to choose from. Chocolate, pumpkin, sweet potato, and apple are just a few pies that instantly come to mind.

While it would be easy to be thankful for pie, I'd like to direct you to the worst tasting but most helpful pie of all, Humble Pie. While it doesn't taste very good going down, it definitely improves our quality of life, albeit not instantly.

Humble pie has a distinct taste. With the bold flavor of crow, it leaves the bitter aftertaste of foot-in-mouth.  There's no doubt. When you've bitten into this tart delicacy, your face cannot hide your immediate displeasure. 

So What is Humble Pie?

Conflict & Confrontation
With every person that we have battled with, we have grown. Conflict doesn't help us grow until we come out on the other side which is called understanding.

Opposition & Obstacles
We will always have people and things in our path that attempt to prevent us from moving forward. Persistence and commitment are our blades that are sharpened as a result of these two ingredients. 

Rejection & Reprimand
We have all been told we're not good enough. Whether it be a job interview or being corrected for our mistakes, we have been humbled greatly by rejection and reprimand. By learning from each of these ingredients, our resolve and confidence grows. 

This ingredient needs no introduction. If I asked you to think of all the bone-headed things you have ever done, these embarrassing memories emerge as quick as the smell of your favorite Thanksgiving dish. Surviving from and laughing with our embarrassment builds character  and acceptance of the fact that we are human.  

Humble Pie, the CORE of Growth
If you want to strengthen your core, you need to eat a lot of humble pie. The ingredients are easy to find. They're  anywhere in your life. You just have to be willing to swallow the fact that they are a purposeful part of your life for a very good reason. 

Here's a bonus to today's post, great apple pie recipes from www.drosengarten.com

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Simplifying The Complexity of Question 3


Vertical Alignment Meeting Agenda
Vertical Alignment Intervention Worksheet


Question 1 & 2 Must be Answered



Before Question 3 - Use your Student Work


Question 3 - Struggling Student Work



So What about the Vertical Alignment Document?




Friday, November 2, 2012

Silencing the Silence

How often have we heard that the silence is deafening? Can you really hear a pin drop? Do the crickets actually commence to chirping as soon as the elephant enters the room?

Dictionary.com describes the noun of silence as:
1. absence of any sound or noise; stillness.
2. the state or fact of being silent; muteness.
3. absence or omission of mention, comment, or expressed concern: the conspicuous silence of our newspapers on local graft.
4. the state of being forgotten; oblivion: in the news again after years of silence.

As a leader I find it interesting that silence is defined as the omission of mention, comment or expressed concern. As I reflect on the noun of silence, I wonder what conditions are created that force teammates or employees to purposely fail to bring about issues of concern. Is the culture so toxic and threatening that members hold their tongue when they need to address really important issues?  In order to answer the questions about how silence is created, we must dig deeper to learn more about silence.

Dictionary.com goes further to describe the verb of silence:
1. to put or bring to silence; still.
2. to put (doubts, fears, etc.) to rest; quiet.
3. Mil. to still (enemy guns), as by more effective fire.

Here we find that the action of silence has 2 opposing responsibilities for leaders to consider.  Each action will take the culture of an organization to 2 completely different places.

1. Leaders can squelch the conversation and subdue voices that differ from theirs, or 
2. Leaders can put fears, doubts or uncertainty to rest.

To synthesize this even further, suppressing the conversation does not put fears to rest, and putting fears to rest requires anything but cutting off the conversation.

So what steps do leaders take to silence the silence?

1. Welcome the Elephant into the Room

The leader must model a positive approach to solving difficult problems. Keeping the team focused on what's best for the organization is key to effectively dealing with difficult situations.  Conversation must be open, authentic and focused on a resolution. People appreciate a leader when he has the courage to address the elephant.  They see that moving forward is not only attainable but essential.

2.  Listen to the Crickets

When the crickets are chirping, trust is uncertain.  Fear and uncertainty abound.  This is your cue to put fears and uncertainty to rest.  Frequent individual conversations with multiple people and continued dialogue with the group are essential to remove the perceived gag-order.  As long as the crickets are chirping, your progress is stalled.  If you want to quell the crickets, you have to make some noise.

3. Question Why the Pins are Dropping

If you want to help your team members, you have to allow them to address their own doubts.  Leaders are most successful at helping others when they use reflective questioning, rather than endless suggestions and directives, to guide others to untangle their own web of confusion.  To help teams discover the answer to why silence is present, the leader can't answer his own questions.  The answer is in the room and the team has to find it with your support and guidance.

Silencing the silence takes courage.  It takes vision, and it requires an unwavering commitment not to people, but to something bigger, the team.  It requires situational awareness which is only possible when the leader knows their staff deeply, knows the daily undercurrents of the organization and uses both pieces of information to guide the organization to resolve its problems and ultimately to become better for kids and each other. If the leader fails to confront the elephant, the crickets and the pin-dropping, they will lull their staff to a state of silent lucidity.