Vintage Reads #18: Pulp Stories

There's nothing new under the sun.  Today's tabloids may choose to concentrate on celebs more than they used to, but it's basically just as cheap, tawdry and senseless as it ever was.  The pulps and tabloids of the 50s - 70s typically preyed on people's fears of the new and unknown: beatniks, bikers, homosexuals, loose women, foreigners, etc.  The article title page was often decorated with a photograph or illustration to further escalate the rabid frenzy.... and the audacious titles closed the deal.

What's not to love about these old pulp headlines? Not only are they a great insight into the collective consciousness of the times, but they're also good for a laugh.  Let's take a look at a few...

"The Beat is the thing.  Unless you're Beat, man, you're just not hip.  You might as well go crawl back into ivy league suit and hide your head in shame.  You're out."

How quaint.  "Right now, if a man spanked his wife he'd go to jail.  All the laws favor women.  Big strong man can't touch little cutie.  The girls hike their skirts in court and the judges throw the book at the breadwinner.  the whole country is female oriented.  It's time for men to strike back."

"Dear Editor: I am 24 years old, and for the past seven years I have been an inmate of houses of prostitution. In May 1952, I married a professional pimp, and the next month he put me in a whore house!.... Two years ago, my husband was convicted of White Slavery.... I placed myself in the hands of another pimp.  At present I am in a five dollar house of prostitution."  And this story's just getting started!

"Editor's Note: We all cried when we read this story, and you will too."

You mean, even during the Sexual Revolution, you should still sometimes say "no"? Is she serious? This must be some kind of joke.

Those crazy kids and their sex riots. God love 'em.

They're X Rated in bed? I'm impressed.  My wife and I are still PG-13 in bed.

Here's a nice charming story: "...I'd say Vera was the happiest whore in town.  But more than that, I kept my eyes open for other potential prosties.  Most whores are very dissatisfied with their pimps.  But I had a lot to offer a high class girl: good organization, good customers, and good pay.  For a while I even toyed with the idea of setting up a pension fund."

"Impossible? No, true!"


  1. Forget tabloids, these headlines read like promos from local news broadcasts (or what passes for news these days). Lurid has always sold and always will.

  2. I feel like I need to take a shower after reading this!

  3. Just how, exactly, would a "sex riot" work? That's what I want to know.