Thursday, December 20, 2012

Everyday Heroes {A Tribute}

When Chris and I started the adoption process we sought advice from a variety of sources...most of them through our agency.  At the time we didn't really know many people, closely, who had adopted domestically, and were at a bit of a loss for who to turn to.  We just had to plow through on our own and learn as we went.  

However, we did have this one couple in our lives who shared intimate details with us about birth parents.  They were extremely open regarding the feelings of birth parents, the struggles they face, what they hope for their babies, what makes them happy about their babies, what makes them sad, what they want in a set of adoptive parents, and the hopes and dreams that birth parents may have for a relationship with adoptive parents.  We counted on them to give us insider information to the other side.  We ate up everything they had to say.  It was gospel.  We wanted to do right by our potential birth parents because we wanted to 'do adoption' the best we could.  

My brother-in-law and his wife.  Pete and Marci.  Birthparents.  Everyday heroes. Selfless. 

Yesterday marked the 18th anniversary that their first child was born.  An amazing little boy that they loved enough to know that they were not ready to give him the life he deserved....they weren't ready to be the parents for him that they knew all kids desperately needed.  They were young.....but oh so wise.  

They're married now and have three more amazing babies who call them mommy and daddy.  And my husband and I couldn't be more proud to know them and call them family.  They were invaluable to us as we walked through the adoption process and made me love birth-parents before I'd even met Georgia's.  

And the fact is not lost on me that one day, they quite possibly could be exactly what Georgia needs as she begins to understand her own adoption and what that means.  I know that if she wants to fully grasp how birth parents make that decision, and how much they love children and that's why they do it--Pete and Marci will be there for her.  Whatever they'll tell her, it will be perfect.  I know that. To have the other side of adoption represented in our family, for her, is another piece of our adoption story that I believe was written by God eighteen years ago, before she was even conceived, before any of us even knew each other.  

Pete and Marci. Birthparents. They make our world a better place.  They change the world for one child.  They give adoptive parents the greatest gift.  

Thank you Pete and Marci.  Thanks for teaching me how life-giving birthparents are. Thanks for giving me one more reason to love them like crazy and thanks for working to build a culture of adoption in this country.  We need more of you.  A lot more.  


  1. That's really awesome! The world really does need more people like this. I've never given much thought to adoption so I really love having my world opened up by reading your blog.

    I hope you don't mind my asking, but do they have any sort of relationship with their son or was it closed?

    1. It's fairly closed. They'd love it to be open--however--when they made their adoption plan it was right on the cusp of open adoptions becoming more popular....closed was still really how things went. They've had some contact here and there through the years but it's not really an open adoption per se. We're hoping it might not always be like that though! And there is nothing I mind answering about adoption--nothing! So ask away! :)

    2. Well, hopefully he'll decide he wants more contact now that he's older. I'd be very curious if I were him. It seems like many kids that have a closed adoption are either curious or not curious at all about where they came from. Personally, I'd be very curious.

  2. As always, you've done an amazing job sharing another piece of your seriously awesome perspective on adoption. I was just putting together a post that describes the gifts I've put together for our birth parents and I think I will link this post.

    Thanks for being a most wonderful ambassador in the world of open adoption.

  3. Amazing post! U r so right- they are everyday heros. I love love all the many dynamics of adoption and how each family that takes this path has a very unique and special story on how they find their children. :) <3


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