Sayins to Make ya Laugh!

A Cowboys Christmas Prayer
A Cowboys Dream
A Cowboys Prayer
A Cowboys Rules for his Gal
A Cowboys Wish
A Cowgirls Prayer
Always Remember
Annie Oakley
Calamity Jane
Outlaw Gangs and Gunfighters
Connie Douglas Reeves
Cowboy Dictionary
Cowboy Funnies
Cowboy Poems
Cowboy Quotes
Cowboy Wisdom
Cowboys in Heaven
Cowgirl Joke
Essential Cowboy Gear
Evolution of the Cowboy
Horses & Cowboys
How to Be the Best Gunfighter
It Might Have Been Me ~ It Might Have Been You
Just A Little Refresher Course In Personal Freedom
Law Dawgs
Lord, Always Keep Me Humble
Lucille Mulhall
Old Cowboys Prayer
Old West Poetry
Old West Wisdom, Old Sayings, and Famous Cowboy Quotes
Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association
Prorodeo Cowboys World Standings
Quiz 1
Quiz 2
Quiz 3
Quiz 4
Quiz 5
Quiz 6
Quiz Answers
Recipes: Breakfast
Recipes: Candy & Cookies
Recipes: Chili, Soups & Stews
Recipes: Entrees
Recipes: Pies
Recipes: Side Dishes
Rodeo Lingo
Rodeo Wisdom
Sayins to Make ya Laugh!
The Cowboy Way
The Old West Quiz
The Rattle Snake
Vanishing Breed
Western Facts
What A Cowboys Mama Teaches
Western Funnies
What all Cowboys and Cowgirls Know
What is a Cowboy
Ya know youre a Horse Lover When
Ya Know Your A Team Roper When...
Ya Might Be a City Girl
Ya Might Be From A Small Town If
You might be a city cowboy if:
You Might be a Cowboy-Cowgirl If
You Might be a Redneck If


DUDE - One of them stall-fed tenderfeet

HUNGRY - He dug in like a wolf after guts

WILD - Wild as a corn-crib rat

TIGHTWAD - He wouldn't loan yuh a nickle 'lessen yuh got the Lord an' all his disciples to go on the note

SLICK - As slick as snot on a door knod - Slicker'n calf slobbers

QUIET - So quiet yuh could hear daylight comin' - Quiet as a hoss thief after a hangin'

NOISY - As noisy as a calf corral - As noisy as a scrub bull in a briar patch - Noiser'n an empty wagon on a froze road - Made more noise than a hair-lipped hombre tryin'to whistle

SCARCE - Scarce as bird dung in a cuckoo clock - Scarce as hiccups at a prayer meeting - Scarce as hens teeth

UNHAPPY - His luck was runnin' kind of muddy - Looked so sad his ears flopped - Had more troubles than Job had boils

MEAN - As mean as a naggin' woman - Meaner'n a rattlesnake on a hot skillet - Puffed up like a green bronc on a cold mornin'

DEAD - He saddled a cloud an' rode to the great beyond - He was starin' at the sky an' seein' nothin' - Dead as a can of corned beef - We put him to bed with a pick and a shovel

CRAZY - I rekkon the heat kinda addled his think box - Kind of off his mental reservation - He was plum weak north of his ears - He couldn't sell hacksaw blades in the hoosegow

HOMELY - Looked like the ugliest mare ever foaled - His front teeth stuck out so far he could eat popcorn out of a jug - She could eat corn through a pickett fence - Had a nose yuh could store a small dog in - Her face looked like the east end of a westbound jackass

LIAR - He was as shy of the truth as a goat is of feathers - Could color up a story redder'n a Navajo blanket

KILLING - He had no breakfast forever - He won a pitchfork for the Great Beyond - It was a corpse 'an cartridge occasion - He had leaned again' a bullet goin' past - A bullet nailed him down - Took all the slack out of his rope - Shot him where he looked the biggest

MAD - Mad 'noug to kick his own dog - Mad 'nough to chomp a chunk out of his axe - Madder'n a rained-on rooster

HE-MAN - He stood out like a tall man at a funeral - A man with fur on his brisket - He maybe don't say nothin', but it ain't safe to ask him questions - He's a man that stood up before he was weaned - His craw was full of sand an' fightin' tallow.

MAD COW - Thet cow  maybe a mother, but she shore ain't no lady - I fogs it acrost the corral like I'm goin' to get my gal to dance, with thet cow a scratchin' the grease off'n my pants every jump            

PROUD - Statred walkin' like a tomcat in thin mud - Was walkin' like a dog had pissed on his off leg

SINGING - His singin' would stop a freight train - Had a vioce like a gut-gored buffalo - A dry axle could outsing him - His songs were mighty shy on melody, but a heap strong on noise - Couldn't carry a tune in a corked jug

HARDUP - He musta hard wintered by the looks of his outfit - Boots so frazzled he couldn't scratch a match without burnin' his feet - He didn't have 'nough  clothes to pad a crutch

FAT - He was fat in the middle an' pore at each end

GRUB - Meat so tough yuh had to sharpen yore knife to cut the gravy -   Chili so hot it had to be kept on ice - Deceitful beans -- those as talked behind yore back

SHY - Felt as out of place as a cow on a front porch - As shy as a green bronc at a new water trough

CLEAN - Makin' lather with laundry soap an' alkali water is like tryin' to find a hoss thief in heaven

GAMBLIN'- Nothin in his hand but some very young clubs - When the game was over, he didn't have a tailfeather left - His luck kind raveled out an' cleaned him down to his spurs

POOR - Steers were so thin yuh could look right through them to read the brand on the off side - As poor as a toothless coyote

SLOW - Took him longer than a hair-lipped hombre callin' his dog - So damn slow he couldn't stop quick - Slower'n a snail on crutches

Misc.- Don't corner somethin' meaner than you - Keep skunks and bankers at a distance - Don't name an animal you plan to eat - Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal

Y'all come back now ya hear!