Monday, December 13, 2010










And yet


There is a pounding in my heart.

ba-bump. ba-bump. ba-bump.

I fear for what I will leave behind.





  1. I've lived in Chicago (or immediately around it) for 90% of the time I've been on earth. I love it here, I'm comfortable here, I'm very settled. Chicago is a part of me and it always will be. When you said you wished you'd always lived in the same place so you'd never know what you were missing it made me think of all the times I've wondered what I was missing despite having never really lived anywhere else.

    I feel like a little kid sometimes that just wants to stay up late so he doesn't miss anything that happens, I want to know what goes on everywhere. I've traveled a little but not nearly enough. I feel tethered here but thankful its at least a nice place to be tethered to.

    I'm sure at some point in my life a time will come where I'll need to go somewhere else for a while, but I'll come back here, eventually. Then go back to wondering about the rest of the world with different rules and different people. No matter where I am I'll always want to go somewhere else. If I'm here in Chicago I'll wonder about what it'd be like in Paris. If I was in Paris I'd be longing to return to Chicago.

  2. How strange, how rootless so many Americans seem to be, Carolina. Are you coming back here? My new friend Bev told me she didn't fully realised that she was definitely English - not British - until she visited her parents home country of Jamaica for the first time.

  3. Awwww don't be sorry for writing this!! This is lovely!! It's great to know you are a citizen of the world and that you have lived and moved in so many places!! How lovely - and your fears and hopes and emotions resonate with such honesty!!!

    I'm glad you got to have a tea kettle!! LOL!!!! You must never leave home without one!! Thank you so much for sharing here!!

    p.s. I work with a Brummie and he's lovely! LOL!

    Take care

  4. Oh your post is so touching... I live in the same place since I was born, so I can't say I really understand what you are feeling, but I can imagine... I don't know how I would react if I had to move, but I'm pretty sure it would be awful...

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, it is a beautiful post :)

  5. I hate looking at a house I used to own. I'm the only one who knows or cares were old pets are buried.

