feeling & running & gratitude.

this is my daughter beauty & her amazing teacher abigail. abigail, as you can see, is one of the most radiant beings. she is fierce and full and light all in the same breath. she has a gumby like patience that could stretch for days. abigail is a deep knowing of love. it lives inside her glow, it's always on like a slow cooker simmering from her soul. it's woven inside her blood, her skin, her stories. abigail has become one of my teachers too.

when it's time for me to leave beauty at school, there is always a moment on the way to the car that i say thank you, thank you, thank you for this safe, magical and love filled place. i think the gratitude, i speak the gratitude but do i feel the gratitude? i feel the magic. i feel the joy even if it's just a minute. do i feel the gratitude? so i have been feeling into feeling the gratitude.

in my personal research, i am finding that feeling the gratitude is a little harder then just saying it and moving on with life. truly stopping to feel into the gratitude is a whole other thing. it's a moment, just like the other moment and totally different than the mental moment. why is it more challenging to feel than to think? feeling is what we did so naturally as babes. thinking wasn't as natural as feeling right? it's like opposite day to my body. does it feel this way to you? 

i find in my self practice and in my healing practice with others that running from seems like the easier approach. the remedies of honesty & curiosity are not even taken into consideration. we develop anxieties, panic, body issues, stress from running to feel. as though are feelings are the law and will be here forever.  as we all know, our feelings change ALL the time. why are we doing this? if we lean into our feelings, our darkness, our fears, they disperse. if we share our feelings with those who are triggering them or involved in some way then you both can be set free. we are no longer holding onto the feelings, we are creating space for truth which creates connection which is what we are all so hungry for! to connect deeply, to be understood, to be gotten! yes? are you hungry for this? when a friend understands my heart, i am nourished for days.  why are we not being honest with ourselves and each other? 

so....back to gratitude in the studio ;).  i am working my way to feeling gratitude and when i do there is a very simple moment that is deeply intimate. i believe this moment is called grace. i am finding my way there in the moments. in the moments surrounded by crazy noise, stress, fear, anxiety, motherhood and more. of course, it's easier when things are good.  feeling into gratitude is the way to the ground. it's how i root into what is important right now. it's a way to lower the volume on all that is not serving me. how do you ground in and lower the volume? are you a runner of feelings? what are you hungry for in feeling? please share in the comments below! i would love to hear you xxxx