Monday, December 31, 2007

Here comes 2008!
I'm always asked if I have any resolutions for the new year. I say of course, mine is 1680 x 1050.

Making new years resolutions is freakin shtupid. If you want to improve yourself, why wait till the end of the year to do it?? Get off your lazy ass and quit procrastinating!

This inspirational post has been brought to you by me finally fixing slurrey.

Sunday, December 30, 2007


Thursday, December 27, 2007


On saturday Eric and I went and saw Vanessa sing at the Wired Monk in Vancouver, then went to Mark and Jessika's apartment for a wee bit of partyin! It was fun shtuff, oh yes it was!!

Then on monday I had to do some last minute xmas shoopin'! Jessika came with me and we went to guildford mall, Blockbuster Video and Winners, and I finished xmas shoppin no problem!

I picked up a little something for myself at the mall.... the telus booth was right there so I grabbed myself.... an HTC Touch phone. It was free with a 3 year contract, so why the fuck not! Goodbye Razr, you served me well (considering you're the only phone I hadn't thrown against a wall yet.... then again I'd be scared to anyways, lest it slice through a support beam or something).

I can't believe how awesome this phone is, especially with Telus' unlimited data plan for just $15/mnth.... something like that is unheard of!!!

Other great things you can do with this phone:

- Surf the net
- Use MSN
- Take pics and video
- Weather updates
- Sync your contacts to outlook on your computer
- Voice recorder
- Microsoft Office
- Email Client
- Calendar and Alerts
- MP3 player

Then I hacked the shit out of it and installed way better software, now I can:

- Surfe the net on a GOOD browser (Opera mobile)
- Watch youtube videos (fullscreen) and download them!
- Watch divx movies
- Use a photoshop-like paint program
- Automatically update everyone in my contact lists' photo with their current facebook photo!!!
- Text messages that look like chat windows

The one flaw? It has worse reception than my Razr did, but if you turn off the screen while talking it'll work way better!

So yah later on monday I met up with El Valito and we exchanged presents. I got her a fancy new glass desk, an R4DS flash cartridge, and 3 DVD movies she really wanted. Plus some gross soap candies.

She got me a Garmin Nuvi 250 GPS and The Matrix Ultimate Trilogy on HD-DVD. Fucking AWESOME x AWESOME.

Christmas day was the usual family thang, big dinner and all! It fuckin snowed too! Who's ever heard of a white christmas in Vancouver? It usually rains every christmas.

Boxing day I was gonna go shopping early, but sleep (something I was lacking lately) sounded way better than spending money (something else I've been lacking lately). I went to future shop later on and bought a new PSP Slim, for only $169 they're a great deal.

Later on I went and saw Alien Vs Predator: Requiem with a bunch of people. Calling that movie a piece of shit would be a compliment. At least it wasn't as awful as I thought it was gonna be, but goddamn there were some head-shaking moments in that film!

Fuck how do movies like this get made and Halo doesn't? It's so hard these days to not be exposed to cinematic fecal matter.

Monday, December 17, 2007


Ashleigh threw her annual christmas party, and it was pretty fun. I didn't drink that much but everyone else did, and it led to some entertaining events.


- Jessika will never ride in a trunk again... especially after that speedbump. Ouch :(
- There was tons of food there, rivalling my birthday party!
- I had the worst headache in the world, which started going away when I had an alcoholic beverage. Weeeeeiiirrddd...
- Shannon showed me how slurrey loads "properly" on her HTC Touch phone. I want one even more now, especially seeing that telus doesn't disable the wi-fi like I've heard.
- Kyle showed me his staph infection on both hands, it was pretty badass looking. That shit can kill ya!
- Boobsh! (reaction?)
- Mark scored some rum?
- Cherie went east indian for a bit.
- Slight drama occurred, thank god I barely got out of the crossfire :P

It was a crazy time!!

On sunday I met up with Vuvito and we went and saw Erin's new place. She lives in the same apartments but she now lives in this awesome one bedroom apt! We hung out there, looked around for Kevin's keys, didn't find them, then went and saw I AM LEGEND.


I AM LEGEND is probable not the movie you expected it to be from watching the previews. In fact, half the shit in the previews doesn't even appear in the movie. I'm serious... no Will Smith crying in front of a family photo, no mutant grabbing his dog, no big new york city explosion, no mutant standing beside him ready to chomp half his fucking face off!!

Nope, the first 3/4 of this movie is Will Smith and his dog surviving, with flashbacks to what happened to create the whole mess in the first place. Still though, the movie is really well done, it will still turn some people off though if they're expecting it to be an action movie where he goes around kicking mutant ass.

I can tell someone with a straight face that one of the most emotional scenes in the movie involves Will Smith talking to a mannequinn. And the unforgettable scene with "Fred". Hahahaha fuck, I love it.

If you're religious this movie might stroke you in the right places at the end. And if you're not down with JC you'll probably think "oh c'mon what a lame way to wrap up the plot, fuck you movie!!".

Hopefully they release the extended edition with the supposedly bleaker ending when it comes out on DVD. Errrrrr... high def. I can't watch regular DVD's anymore after seeing blu-ray of HD-DVD... it's like a nearsighted person never wearing glasses again.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Blarghaflargh I've run out of happy lately!
Fuck winter, it's so depressing.
*shakes fist at the earth's natural rotation around the sun*

On sunday Erin, Erik and I went to the flea market! There wasn't much there cause of the craptacular weather though. Afterwards we picked up Val, Eric came over and we watched Superbad:Unrated Edition on blu-ray! It was just as funny as when we saw it back in the theatres...

Afterwards we all had dinner at BP, and then I drove el Valito home!

Gaaaah I'm boreded!

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Soooo earlier this week I took my car in to get fixed. I took it in to Canadian Tire.
They fixed everything.... or so I thought.

You see, when I pay $1100 to get my car fixed, only to have even more problems a few days later.... it kinda pisses me off. Especially when this same shit has happened before!!

Like what the fuck assholes, if you're gonna fix my car, do it right the first time!! On friday me and Vuv were heading to her work christmas party when my battery started dying cause the alternator wasn't alternating or whatever the fuck it's supposed to do.

When I first took my car in, they insisted I change my current alternator with a new one cause apparently it wasn't working right.


So yeah we couldn't make it to the christmas party, had to try and make it home to surrey, get to Canadian tire, they say they can't even look at it that night, so go home, and try and figure out how the fuck we're getting to the Vanilla Room without a goddamn vehicle.

Me and Vuv end up taking a taxi there and back, and the next day I had to get car insurance for the spare van which cost me another $50.

Canadian Tire sucks dick, ass, and everything in between (eg, BALLS)

Oh btw,


Not a lot of pics, but it was still fun. I did a lot of pre-drinking, and even more post-drinking. It was Erin M's birthday, and Heather was there too.... I hadn't hung out with her in like almost a year. They were wearing mustaches.

Other than that, not much happened. Shannon went out and got my friggin dream phone, HTC Touch. Think of an iPhone that runs Windows Mobile (pocket pc) and actually lets you install your own shit on it... and it's from Telus too. I think I'll have to pick one up sooner rather than later, my razr battery can't last worth shit these days.

I got Tracy a shot of tequila and she disappeared.... turns out the shot was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. Oops 0:)

After the Vanilla Room, Vuv and I took a cab home and she slept over, cause there was no way to get back to vancouver!


Canadian Tire sucks. I'll prolly add more pics to this gallery if anything else happens this weekend.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


Mark had his 25th birthday party at his house last weekend. It started at noon. It was trippy. Stuff was crazy. Everyone had fun. We went to some rave after called "dub forms" or something. The music there raped my ears, in either a good or bad way.... I couldn't tell. All in all, it was a wicked time!!

This weekend was also pretty good. Friday night I went over to Justin's and had some red absinthe, tastes just like the green stuff and gets you wasted almost twice as fast as regular alcohol! It's good shit.

We all hung out, watched some bits and pieces of Anchorman and Tenacious D, more people arrived, Ashleigh got her cell phone jacked, and I can't really remember what else.

Saturday I hung out with El Valito, and it was funfun as always!

Sunday I hung out with Erin and Kevin, we went to Best Buy and then to Ricky's where they bought me breakfast... thanks guys! It was snowing really hard so I came up with the idea to go tobogganing!!!

Jessika had left her cell phone in my car, and I had to go to her and Mark's apartment to give it back to her. Trouble is, there's no way of contacting her at all, cause Mark's buzzer doesn't work. So I stood outside in the cold waiting for someone to let me in there, no one came though. Then I went around back and yelled at their living room window hoping they could hear me, no luck!!! Fuck I was freezing my ass off too!! So I go back around front and ring the office, and they just let me in! No questions asked! Nice security.... not that I was complaining :P

So Mark is there, turns out Jessika went to Tracy's, where I could easily have called and given her her phone! YARGH! But Mark was down for tobogganing! Eric gave me a call to and said he wanted to go!

I go to Tracy's and give Jess her phone, Tracy's down for tobogganing too, and asks if I want to wait for Shannon to get off work so she can come too. I'm like sure and go home to get ready, and wait!

Eric calls and says he can't make it... some semis jacknifed on the freeway and they shut it down! Then Shannon didn't want to drive in so much snow, plus it started raining and it was too late to go, so it looks like tobogganing was cancelled! I went and hung out at Mark's for a bit, and that was Sunday night. Whoooooop?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Whoa! Yesterday! Did everyone see that? That bright thing in the sky came out again! It was really bright!

Tracy and I went to willowbrook mall so she could get pants and give Justin a box of Trix! She found pants, we didn't find Justin though!

Later I picked up Vuv and bunch of us went and saw The Mist. Well.... part of it! No one liked it and wanted to leave, so we left and had dinner at BP. I could always just download the movie later anyways :P

Dinner was interesting. A certain someone showed up and barely said a friggin word to me!! Goddamn.... people need to stop being weird. Or at least tell me why they're being weird. I swear this feels like a breakup or something. Uhhh hi we never went out. Did I miss something?

I'm getting excited for december, not cause of christmas or new years or any of that shiaht (though I DO get a week off work). I AM LEGEND comes out in theatres, plus Superbad and Pan's Labyrinth on high-def, and LOST: Season 3 on blu-ray... fuck I'm gonna be broke ass.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Augh my fucking head is KILLING me! Fuck it's been like this the whole week, I've missed like 2 days of work now. Fuckin' bullshit!

A few days ago me Tracy Cory Kaydence and Shannon went up to whistler for the day. Just walked around and looked at stores, the standard dealio. It was interesting.

The way home though.... oh shit. My car stalled like 3 or 4 times on the sea-to-sky. I lose steering when my car stalls. That's not a good thing to happen in that particular area! It was fucking scary! Who can say they saw their life flash before their eyes 3 times in one night??

Fucking car, looks like it's finally time to get it fixed. Fucking headache, making me miss work which means less money which means fixing my car will be less affordable. Which means arhhgh, fuckin shoot me!


Sunday, November 18, 2007


So for the past little while Erin has had a secret birthday surprise for me! And there was no figuring it out either, with horrible hints like "its arms are tired" or "john A macdonald".

She was scheduled to be on this last slurrey show, and ended up bringing the surprise with her: Karyn!!! I was fuckin floored, she flew all the way from Kingston, Ont. to be here!!! And had to somehow stay hidden as to not spoil the surprise! Goddamn how many people have friends who will fly across the country to not miss their bday party??

Other stuff I got from people:
- Scanguage II from Vuv
- Raving Rabbit stuffed animal MADE by Susan! AWESOME
- Funny card from Brendan
- Lightsaber from Pearce
- Bottle of tequila from Erin and Karyn
- Bottle of Jager from Kyle

Yeah last night I had my birthday party, and it was once again legendary as always. I styled my hair all vertical like, indicating that this wasn't gonna be no ordinary fuckin' party. Even though I don't remember most of last night, lots of stuff happened that will be talked about years from now?

First things first, I had to get some food for the party. The greatest thing about my birthday parties is the amount of munchies always there! This year was no different... in fact I bought way more food than last year. I spent like $150 bucks!!!!!

As people started pouring in I did jager bombs, I finished almost the entire bottle of jager and then moved on to the bottle of tequila Karyn and Erin had got for me! I drank a little faster than I should have and started getting sick... coupled with the fact someone I was good friends with didn't want to come... the night started going downhill fast!

I realized I had to puke. I didn't want to this early in the night, plus I NEVER fucking puke! Alcohol never defeats me, I say. I take a walk a bit up the street and I feel it coming.

What happened next was both the grossest and most badass thing I've ever done. I held the puke in my mouth (a little still shot out) and then fucking swallowed it again.

Me: 1
Alcohol: 0

Although feeling somewhat proud of myself the night could only go uphill from there, and it shure did. Shannon did end up coming, which was a total surprise. We went for a walk and talked about... can't really remember but I do know we worked shit out and everything's all peachy-fuckin-keen again!! After like a month or so of things being weird it was rad for everything to be normal again.

We were only gone for half an hour but it turned out a lot happened at the party... like a street war almost starting cause a bunch of guys in a car tried to get Jess to go in it, and my brother telling them to fuck off, then them circling around and throwing a slurpee at him, prompting like half the party to run outside looking for them... then Jess threw up in my brother's room! Wow.

It also dawned on moi that a lot of people had missed my birthday! Like at least 10 people didn't show up... that's ok though, almost 40 people showed up :P

The rest of the night was more of a blur, the last of everyone left probably around 4 am. A bit earlier than most bday parties... but when you look at how many people puked last night, it makes sense!

Me and Vuv woke up the next day, and I had something I hadn't had in a while.... a hangover.

Me: 1
Alcohol: 389328198 (that's what it felt like)

I love birthdays!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


- Went to a concert
- Bought the smallest computer EVER
- Went indoor rock climbing
- Had a fire in abbotsford
- Got stranded in a McDonalds parking lot

Yes, the long weekend was packed with shit I did without being too shitty!

Friday night me and El Voolito went to the HIM concert. The opening band (Bleeding Through) was also fuckin fantastic, but HIM rocked the place. We were pretty close to the speakers too so my ears bled happiness.

Next day I bought a micro pc. It's a Sony VAIO VGN-UX380CN!!! The thing is fucking TINY, and powerful.

It currently retails for over $2000 new in stores.
I bought it near-brand-new for $900.

So fuckin.... this thing has a touchscreen, 40 gig hard drive, fingerprint scanner (it's how you log into windows vista!), 2 built-in webcams, wifi, bluetooth, a docking station, etc. It's a real piece of work, I love it more than my future children.

After I picked up the microPC, I met up with Eric, Marta, Vanessa, Karbomb, Steph, her boyfriend, etc and we went indoor rock climbing!! That was quite fun, then we picked up Kevin and went up to Eric's for a bonfire and youtube video fest. Not too shabby.

Sunday I went to fix Vuv's busted ass computer, I had to install a new hard drive, re-install windows, etc. When I opened the computer case, the amount of dust inside made it seem like the computer had survived the twin towers collapse. My god, I didn't know that much dust could accumulate inside a PC! It even jammed up the case fan!

Sunday night me Tracy Cory Shannon made (poor) plans to go up to Whistler.... at like 8 pm while a windstorm was occurring. (Un?)fortunately plans fell through and even more unfortunately, my car battery suddenly suicided itself in the McDonald's parking lot so I was stranded there for like 2 hours. I didn't want to walk home in the middle of a fucking windstorm! Luckily Shannon came and gave me a jump!

The next day the power was out. The internet was still working though! That's cause I had my cable modem and router hooked up to a UPS, and the micropc I bought still had battery power.

Then the power comes back on, but the internet fucking croaked. FOR THE WHOLE DAY!!
This happens EVERY TIME there's a windstorm!!! Come on SHAW, it can't be the same goddamn tree branch that keeps knocking out power to your servers! Fawk.

That's my post, and no one can probably read it till blogger starts working again. I'd fire off an email to them.... but at the moment I don't really care too much.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The worst part of halloween is picking out a fucking costume!!!! Every year I've had some great ideas, but in the past all my costumes sucked to wear/drink in. There was no way I was wearing a mask again, those things get hot and sweaty inside and you can't see shit, or see shit all. I guess it means the same thing.

Like that one year I went as THE CROW, fuckin... all that makeup on my face felt disgusting!! I would imagine the same feeling if a girl let a guy spunk on her face, smeared it around, and then left it there to cake on dry.

The next year I went as an xbox. Great idea, but having the pointy insides of an xbox cover stab at my organs and having a controller tied to my crotch was a wee bit uncomfortable.

This year I was gonna keep it simple. I was gonna be Doc Brown from Back to the Future, cause he's one of the greatest movie characters ever and it'd be damn easy to pull it off cause I can replicate all of his crazy faces. Plus all I had to wear was a wig, goggles, and a friggin lab coat and it all worked!

Friday night we went to Tracy's for a wee bit of partying. It was a decent turnout, I didn't drink that much till Tracy got me to do 2 big shots of jamaican rum. It was great.

Next day Val and I went over to Kevin and Erin's for their halloween party with Mark, Jessika, and Pearce. It was cool seeing everyone dressed up, and it was cool having a costume that wasn't annoying the fuck outta me! Mark, Pearce and Jess left for some rave, and after the party when I was driving Vuv home, they called and said the rave had been shut down by cops. So we go downtown and pick them up, I drop Vuv off, and we go back to Mark's and stay up all night watching stucco and waving around a plastic skull on a stick. It was funner than it sounds, really!!

Monday, October 22, 2007

So on saturday I went to the BC Lions game with some of my coworkers. Even though I barely know how the fuck football works, it'd still be fun to go!

So like, random things would happen on the field, and people would start cheering! I didn't know what was going on at all, but didn't mind too much cause I just watched the cheerleaders most of the time.

After that I got Valyce and Tracy and we went to One20 for Kyle's birthday. Kyle was like, already hammered so we had to play catchup with a bunch of jagerbombs. It ended up being a fun night!

That's about it really.... narf

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Whooooo! I can't post to my site anymore, apparently blogger forgot how to ftp.

Fuckin thing has more bugs in it than roadkill on a hot sunny day.

Last friday was Shannon's 20th birthday, and what a night that was. I didn't know I could drink that many tequila shots. I didn't know I could actually get REAL hangovers. Aaaaaand I didn't know taxi drivers were crazy ASSHOLES!

The night began like any other standard birthday thanger. Met up with Val, hung out with her for a bit, picked up Tracy and Jess and headed to Shannon's place for some pre-drinkin! Krystal and Eric(h?) were already there and I met them for the first time, they were pretty cool. I didn't do any pre-drinkin, I was gonna save all that for the Blarney Stone.

I made the (probably bad?) decision to get completely fuckin hammered, therefore I would leave my car at Shannon's and rely on cabs/transit. Eventually we get down to there and even though Shannon had made a guest list, we still had to wait in a lineup. The VIP lineup. Which was LONGER than the regular lineup? Haaahahahah.

After what seemed like an entire geological time period, we get in and the drinking commences. This is the point where I stop remembering shit, so again... the rest of the night is what I could reconstruct from looking at the pictures.

It was a crazy good time, I had 11 (!!!) tequila shots that night. Plus a vodka and redbull and a jagerbomb. I was fuckin blasted! GARGAFARGALARGLLGGLdfkdslfasldkasd etc etc.

We all bought drinks for Shannywack too, you know someone's drunk enough for their bday when they can't spell their own name!

A bunch of people left to catch the last skytrain home (probably the smart thing to do!). We stayed and met with a bunch of Shannon's friends from work, and wandered around downtown. Val and Sara took a cab back to their places, since they live in Vancouver anyways. The rest of us were gonna take the nightbus back, but that didn't work out. Why, I haven't a clue, it's all a blur.

The one thing I DO remember is we stopped to get pizza, and I was so drunk that I just gave the dude the last $5 on me and was like "what can I get with this much??". I think he gave me 2 slices and a coke.

We missed the nightbus, so we wandered around downtown some more and tried to get a cab. 2 problems with that... one being that there were 5 of us, and the other..... cab drivers are greedy assholes and want to stick around downtown and make as much money as possible. We ended up being stranded downtown till like 4 or 5 am!! And it was fuckin COLD too.

It's almost the asscrack of dawn and finally we find some cab drivers willing to go back to slurrey. We take 2 cabs back, the guy driving the one me and Shannon got in was a total retard though. He tried to kidnap us or something, and we got ripped off something fierce.

It was good to be back though, waiting another hour for the skytrain to start up would have sucked a variety of balls.

All in all it was a fucking AWESOME night, even being stranded wasn't too bad cause I was too hammered to care. I DID get a killer hangover the next morning, something that hasn't happened to me in YEARS!!

The rest of the weekend was pretty standard. Tracy and Cory had people over on sunday night and lots of drinking was done... mostly by Justin though he threw up pretty good!

Wish I had gotten pics of that :P

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Holy shit/crap/poop I haven't posted here in over a week!
And this post doesn't count either, as it's just me realizing that I haven't updated in a week.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I must have angered the car gods up there with my previous post, cause today karma (car-ma? ho ho ho) bit me in the ass.

I get to work, and go to park in the underground parkade. This underground parkade was probably designed by clueless architects who think everyone drives a friggin toyota tercel or something, cause everyday it's a struggle to navigate my behemoth of a car into it. I know a drive a boat, but inside that parkade I feel like I'm driving a fucking aircraft carrier.

Well today the inevitable happened and I scraped the corner of my car on a concrete column and successfully un-pimped it (both the car and the column). FUCK!

Then if that wasn't enough, on the way home from work the dreaded "check engine" light came on. Life is awesome!

Let's talk about better days.... the weekend perhaps:


Yet another birthday to celebrate, and boy did we celebrate it! I'm gonna start from the beginning though.

Friday night I met up with El Valito, and we went to get her a new cell phone. Because well, her old one from like... 1982 just wasn't cutting it these days. That thing was a brick and a half, I bet you could throw it at someone and it would kill them.... hell the radiation would probably do them in before it hit them. It was time for her to have a phone that WASN'T found during an archeological excavation.

We went to the Telus store and Val got a Samsung U510, one of those nifty slider phones! I thought it was quite sexy.

Then we went to Red Robin for dinner and had to sit next to these loud, stupid ho's. There's nothing awesomer than eating dinner while listening to conversations so stupid, you lose enough braincells to want to sniff glue to revive them. Like at one point, one of the dumbells told a joke:

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours?"
"NACHO cheese"

Cue screeching laughter and another one of them finding the joke so funny she had to REPEAT IT 4 TIMES!!!!

After dining in hell, me and Val hung out with Shannon and we drove to north van for shits n giggles, it was good times. (Plus it totally helped knowing how to get around that area, since I had to work there on monday)

The next day I unlocked the phone that Val had given me, that Matt had given her, that Cory had given him. Yeah I got like sloppy fourths, a perfect phone for the slurrey show phone line!

That night was Jessica's bday party at Tracy's, and what a party it was. I drank a LOT, and when I finished my drinks, Jessica made me a drink so strong I think it turned my liver inside-out! The rest of the night involved people squirting each other in the face with baby bottles, girls wrestling, girls kissing, girls comparing boobs, and other reasons why alcohol is a pretty good invention.

From what I remember:

- Ummmm

- Uhh

- Walking somewhere

- Hmmm...

Yeah it's all in the pictures. By around 2:30 the party started winding down and most people had left, then Shannon showed up and more drinking occurred... and we partied for another 2 hours. It was a long-ass party... and I did myself proud and stayed consistently drunk enough to barely remember it from beginning to end :]

Monday, September 24, 2007

So I'm trying to watch the season premiere of HEROES tonight, and out of nowhere like 10 fucking commercials for Nissan's Rogue play in a row!! Fuck off!

Like at the beginning of the show there was a message about "limited commercial breaks sponsored by Nissan" and I'm like "awww how sweet". Little did I know that Nissan's idea of 'limited commercial breaks' is playing the same goddamn commercial 2 or 3 times in one break! Like what the fuck guys, you even had that stupid car in the show, do you also have to ram it into viewer's heads with your dick to get the point across?

I'm so annoyed, if I ever see a Rogue at a car dealership, instead of compulsively buying it like Nissan hopes I'll do after seeing their repetetive commercials, I'll proceed to defecate on the windshield. Then I'll turn the wipers on.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Last weekend we went to the Foggy Dew and got shittammered (a combination of shittered and hammered). It was just a standard night of drinking, with a whole bunch of new people too! Karbomb came out, so did Trena, who I've known since grade 9! Met a bunch of Shannon's coworkers too and it was a pretty good time! Even spotted the guy in the fox hat there!

Most memorable moments of the night? They occurred after we left... they included chilling in the parking lot so I could sober up, and then as I'm driving through Wendy's, Tracy opening my car door and puking out of it! It was the funniest shit.

The next day we went to Langley for a bit, then came back to Tracy's and just bummed around. Eventually Valyce joined us and we went to the driving range to hit golf balls! I really sucked at it till Shannon showd me a secret way to hit the balls all the way to the other side... basically by not holding my golf club like a retard. I'm a pro now, I can hit the balls far but I just gotta work on getting them to go in the direction I want them to :P

That's pretty much that weekend in a nutshell. No crazy drinking stories or anything, but don't worry we more than made up for it this weekend! Wait till I post about that one, with pics like this and this, you KNOW it's gonna be good!

In the coming shows we will introduce this number and encourage listeners to phone in to the show! Listener interaction will reach a whole new level, and who knows how many fucked up people will end up calling in!

The phone will only be on during the show, otherwise the number just goes straight to voicemail. If you leave a voicemail, it WILL be played on the next show! No matter how horrible or raunchy it is.

In addition, a bunch of improvements will be coming to the show! These include pre-recorded disclaimers, news segments, a question of the day, and a huge surprise!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I better write about not last weekend, but the weekend before! Cause I have to, eventually. The only hard part is, trying to remember what the fuck we actually did that weekend??


Maybe I'll look at the pics to jog my memory,

(Ah, Bill's Birthday!)

Friday night we went to the casino! Before I went out though, I finished off a bottle of fireball cause Shannon was driving, we got on the skytrain, picked up Kevin and Val on the way, and went to Edgewater Casino for some gambling.

Cory, Tracy, and Kevin went gambling right away, and me Val Shann and Jessika went to the bar for some drinks. Cause spending money on alcohol is slightly more fun than losing it at a poker table, in my opinion at least :P

After having a drink or 2 at the bar and the girls ogling the bartender for a while, we called it a night and took the skytrain back home. Not a huge eventful night, but at least I didn't lose any money by NOT GAMBING AT ALL!

The next day we went to a car show and seeing all those nice cars gave my inner car nerd a huge violent boner, it totally made me wanna sell my car and get something that turns heads, lifts penis and wettens cooter. Not that my current car doesn't do that now, just to a drastically lesser extent (and to an older age group I guess).

After Shannon and I were done looking at cars we found Tracy and Cory again (who were taking care of Kaydence) and went back into surrey.... with about 32841912 different people who decided to do the same thing at the same time! Traffic was a bitch and a half on the way back!!!

I went home and got ready for Bill's birthday, and then met up with El Valito and we went to Red Robin, with Eric Marta and Jessika. After that we went to Bill's and had some fun times!!! Proof? Check out the pics motherfuckers!

After Bill's we partied at Ashleighs, and everyone was there and partying it up! It was a pretty awesome party as well, and once again I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen for a long time! It was great.

That's all folks! Next time I'll post about what happened almost a week ago! Goddamn I LOVE being so far behind on my updates. (That was sarcasm, for the sarcasm-impaired out there! I KNOW you exist!)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I have a giant fucking zit on my forehead. It looks like an (off-center) bindi dot..... which might be ok if I was east indian or there was actually enough sun this summer for me to tan and look like one.

Did anyone see the flashy-flashy boombooms this afternoon?? Wasn't that shit insane?! I guess rain isn't so bad when it's accompanied by lightning bolts and loud noises.

Fuck this zit is pissing me off. It's not one of those ones where you can easily do something about it like pop it or anything, so I just have to sit here and wait till it decides to haul its ass off my face!

Monday, September 17, 2007

I love it how as soon as the weekend is over, the sun comes out shining once again! This seemed to be a recurring theme during the summer... for fucks sakes and people are trying to STOP global warming? Haahahah fuck.

Update on the motherboard from the previous post... I tried everything to revive it, from resetting the bios to performing mouth-to-mouth (or mouth-to-USB port) resuscitation. Nothing!! Jesus Christ!!!! least Christ rose from the dead. ARRRGGGHH.

So I bought a new motherboard, with a new CPU. It's an AMD Sempron 64 3000+. Translation for the non-nerds out there: It's kinda almost faster than what I need it for. I installed it with relatively major problems... you know... accidentally ripping the heatsink off the video card and having to super-glue it back together... then forgetting to plug the gpu-fan in and leaving it running till it crashes. Then burning myself on the overheated video card when I plug the fan in.

Computers. They bring my piss to a boil.

Other than wrestling with technology and repeatedly losing, my day's been pretty alright so far. Soon I'll post the pictures from Bill's birthday, I promise! And if you're too goddamn impatient, just take the URL of the last gallery, and increment it by one. If you're smart enough to do it right, I guess you deserve to see the pics a bit early!

I'm off to bed. Oh wait! There's fucking computer parts strewn all over it! No I gotta decide whether to spend the next hour cleaning up.... or just go to bed anyways and wake up with a Nvidia card stuck to my face and a hard drive lodged firmly in my ass.

Decisions decisions :(

Sunday, September 16, 2007

I fucking hate computers! HATE them!
The one I was working on all day today to use as the new slurrey server, decided to off itself as soon as I was done setting it up. I dunno what it did but it just shut off and never turned on again. In any sort of way.

I looked up the problem on the internet and people say that the particular motherboard (Asus A7n8x) I have is fussy with certain combinations of RAM, video cards, and power supplies. Fussy? What the fuck!! Since when have motherboards had a personal preference to what parts I stuck in them?? Fuck off, does that mean I have to go keep buying different brands of parts to see if my motherboard finds them worthy to use??

Geez Asus, whose company name sounds like a combination of Ass and Anus, way to make a good motherboard. Your motherboards should be able to accept any ram, video cards, or penises anyone would want to stick in them. I want to karate chop this motherboard in half with my dick. Then again, I don't know if I'd want to put any valuable part of mine near that piece of shit.

Today's post brought to you by my frustration with stupid computer garbage.

Sunday, September 09, 2007


We just HAD to go camping one last time during the summer, it's way too much fun to only do twice a year. And now that pit parties are officially dead (cause there's no pit to have them at), camping is the only way to spend a significant amount of time in a non flourescent-lit area :P

Long weekend camping was kinda in the planning stages for the past month... originally we were gonna go stay up in Shannon's cabin thinger in Princeton, but that fell through so we went with our backup plan. That almost fell through as well cause she found out she had to work on friday till 9:30 at night. The obvious solution is to just go the next morning.... but we went with the Slurrey solution: leaving for Harrison at 10:30 at night.

Me and Vuv met up earlier that day to do some last minute shopping, then we picked up Mike and Kyle (and their camping shiota, which barely fit into my car), went back to my house and waited for Shannon. When she came we crammed the rest of our stuff in her truck (more tetris flashbacks) and off we went.

The great thing about leaving for harrison so damn late is... there's no fucking traffic AT ALL to deal with! We ripped it up the freeway till we got to the dirt logging road in Harrison... oh hell even that didn't stop us, Shannon just likes to break the sound barrier going up those things, and my car keeping up with her would bottom out after every bump we drove over! Hahah fuck there was so much weight in my car with us and our stuff, everytime the road dragged on the bottom I'd look behind me to see what car parts I left behind. Hey if I made it all the way up they probably weren't too important anyways.

When we got to the place at like.... 1 am the morning we set up our tents in the darkness.... including Vuv's PALACE of a tent. That fuckin thing is the most frustrating thing ever to put up in the dark. It's my worst nightmare..... I almost wanted to give up and pull a Kyle, who slept outside on the rocks!

After defeating the great tent of frustration, we lit a fire and drank for a bit. Kind of a low key night..... it was pointless to START getting hammered at like 2 in the morning. Well at least I thought so, Kyle and Brophy had a different opinion though.

The next day we did a ton of stuff that should probably be listed in point form cause I'm a lazy bastard!

- First things first, we gotta call a few people so they know where we actually are if they want to join us. Me Vuv and Brophy drive back towards Harrison for half an hour till we find cell phone reception, and proceed to call people. Turns out that this half hour ride was for nothing, cause no one was able to make it up here! AWESOME!

- On our way back Brophy gets an ice cream from the
ICE CREAM TRUCK just cruisin up and down the logging road.

- We get back to our camping spot and
chill for a while.

- Me, Vuv, and Shannon go for a
drive back to town to get some important stuff.... like food, ice, wood, etc. On the way back, they get some ice cream from the random ice cream guy again.

- We get back and hook up the stereo and put some tunes on, then I
cook some badass ravioli right in the can. Little did I know it would be even more badass coming out a few hours later.

- I gave Brophy some
pot cookie.

- Seeing Brophy
stoned out of his mind on pot is probably one of the funniest things I've ever fucking seen! From the way he brushed his teeth, then attempting to clean his toothbrush in the same lake he peed in the night before, to using sticks instead of arms for half the night, to him walking into the water fully clothed, I don't think I've laughed that hard in years!!! The best part is, I got it all on video!!! Now there's something for the Slurrey DVD.

After this point the drinking kinda began, and just like the last post there's big chunks of the night I completely forgot so I'll have to just write about what I remember.

- I pull out the jager and start doing one Jager bomb after the other, Val and Shannon hit their cold shots pretty hard, and Kyle has a huge bottle of something he was drinkin, plus some pot cookie. Brophy's drinking skills were hampered due to being so stoned (not to mention using sticks for arms).

- Shannon didn't feel like getting changed into her other pair of pants so she just
wore both pairs for a while.

- In a short amount of time we were
quite fucking trashed!

- Mike was really really stoned. I was surprised he was still movin'!

- Shannon and I went for a walk somewhere for like half an hour, I think we were trying to find a rave. There was no rave to be found but I think we met a couple of cool people on the way??

- I don't remember this at all, but apparently
Kyle made some new friends!

The night ended with a lot of puke. For the first time in YEARS, I threw up. And I guess I made up for it, cause I threw up 4 times that night. Shannon wins though.... she threw up in her tent. That's what I call a fucking camping party!

The morning arrives. We hear people passing by our camp site and wondering what kind of party occured there. There were alcoholic beverage containers strewn about everywhere... some full, most of them empty. Everyone was feeling awesome!

A perfect feeling to have when you have to pack everything up in like.. an hour! We had to leave by 8:30 because Shannon had to work that day. We pack everything up and head back to Surrey... and kinda relax for a while.

As if that wasn't enough partying for the weekend, that night Dudley was throwing a party! Me and Shannon went there for a while, everyone was there and it was pretty damn fun, but we were goddamn tired and left by like 2 or something. I didn't drink at all, just didn't feel like it! Fuck, who would... after throwing up 2 cans of ravioli, a bottle of jager, and 2 beers the night before :P

On the monday I hung out with Tracy, Cory, Jess, and Shannon at BP, and then we went to Justin's to watch Rob Zombie's Halloween.

That movie sucked my dick. Poorly even! I wouldn't recomment it unless you're a fan of cheesy horror movies. I haven't seen the original, but if it's anything like the new one, I'm not going to :P

Well there's my update for something that happened a week and a half ago! What can I say, I haven't been on the computer much. Stay tuned tomorrow (hah maybe) for a post about last weekend's parties!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Yes, another birthday to celebrate!!! And boy we know how to celebrate the anniversary of someone dropping out of a vaginer!

Saturday afternoon was craptacular weather-wise.... much like every other goddamn saturday this month. Jessika needed to get some stuff for her beard exam, so me her and Shannon drove downtown to pick it up. Took some great pictures too, but since someone accidentally formatted my card at Matt's bday, they've gone up to that big memory card in the sky.

On the way back we grabbed Val, then grabbed Kevin, then grabbbed some beverages alcoholic in nature, and we were set!

We get to Matt's house and wait in his bedroom for him to arrive.... imagine like a 10ft by 10ft space with no windows or ventilation, and like... 15 people in it. What you just imagine wasn't even close to how goddamn hot it was in there but eventually Matt arrived, opened his door, and had the crap scared outta him when we all yelled SURPRISE!!!

On an empty stomach, I drank all my alcohol within 10 minutes. That resulted in the rest of the night being a big blur for me. The only way I can tell what happened is by looking at the pictures and piecing the night together:

- Apparently I was attacked by Val's long paper tongue.

- And it seems as if I counterattacked.

- Tracy and Cory's child was born ready to party!

- At some point it seems as if Matt had a birthday cake.

- Looks like I finally had something to eat?

- For some reason I'm on the phone.... it's not even my phone??

- We took an epic picture!

- It appears as though the cat got violated..

- Val had a nap?

- Remember kids, safety first!

- Where the hell?

- Huh?????

- Well the night sure took an interesting turn!

- A whole lotta :P was going on near the end!

- Looks like I bored Val to sleep again!

- At this point I started remembering shtuff!

- The end of the night, doesn't stop Kevin from drinkin though.

Looks like the night was pretty awesome, as usual. Everyone had a blast and got really shitfaced and probably won't remember the night till they look at these pics!

Unfortunately during the night someone had tried to delete a picture, but ended up accidentally deleting all of them instead. Then, kept taking more pictures, so the first 100 or so pics on my camera were unrecoverable. I managed to get back the rest though, thank god (if there is one).

Well enjoy the pics, I'm off to do something I haven't done in a while. By something I mean sleep, and by a while I mean 17 hours. Chacha!

Sunday, August 26, 2007


This event actually occurred last weekend, but have been to goddamned busy to write about it until now!! Hell, I'm still kinda too busy to write about it, so this is only going to be a pathetic, boring shell of what should be an epic post! Fortunately though, the sheer radness of the pictures more than make up for it.

The night began with me Jessika and Shannon getting dinner at Red Robin, cause drinking on an empty stomach sometimes yeilds unfavorable results. I bought Jessika dinner for her birthday, then we headed downtown, picking up Tina and El Valito on the way.

We arrive at The Cambie, and the lineup was pretty short. Probably because people gave up waiting for it to actually move anywhere! We found different ways to entertain ourselves during the lineup of eternity... not to mention some homeless dude said he'd climb a streetpole if someone gave him 2 bucks. He actually climbed up all the way, crazy bastard!

We all get inside and the drinking begins! Pretty much everyone was here, including Eric, Marta, Kevin, Kyle, Brittany, Dennis, Jessica, Tracy, Ashleigh, Christina, Dudley, Don, and Lee!

The Cambie was an alright place, it was hot and stuffy in there so we didn't stay long. Most of us migrated over to the Bourbon, a better club with marginally shittier music. It was still good!

Everyone got really REALLY REAAAALLLY drunk. Except me tho, I just got really drunk. Everyone danced and bought Jessika drinks and had an all-out awesome time!! We stayed at the place until closing time, and then drove home. Kevin, Kyle, Don, Lee etc were kinda stranded cause they missed the night bus, so they had to cab home (I didn't have room in my car).

I drove Val, Tina, Tracy, and Shannon home..... there's nothing like being sorta lost driving around downtown with 4 crazy drunk girls in your car, that was an adventure in itself. Tina was making prank calls and taking a million pictures, Shannon was asking Tina to roll down her window every 2 seconds and making her drunk GARGALARGINFARGIN noises, and as I dropped more and more people off she eventually took over the back seat and used it as a bed. It was like 5 am when I dropped her off..... the friggin sun was almost startin to come up!!

It was a great night and we all had like 3 tons of fun!! Tune in soon from the pics from Matt's surprise birthday party.... they're even crazier.

Monday, August 13, 2007


Friday we were gonna go to the Blarney Stone for Brittany's birthday. It was me, Val, Shannon, and Jessika. Getting to the place was an epic journey in itself.... Jessika said she knew where the Blarney Stone was, but judging by how we ended up passing by every place EXCEPT the Blarney Stone, I'd say that claim was a weeeee bit inaccurate :P

On the way to the Blarney Stone, we passed by... surprise surprise, Organix! We ran into Mark and Pearce there! Pearce's eager hugging attack resulted in his giant glass pipe in Shannon's face and his elbow in Val's face. Ah, drugs and their effects on motor skills!

Our destination was only a block away, but when Jessika saw the line she decided to go to Organix instead. So like, me Val and Shannon waited in the lineup for a horrifying 20 WHOLE MINUTES, which passed by pretty quickly with all the entertaining events occurring in the immediate area. Such as someone playing with himself in a doorway, and some dude getting arrested while onlookers made fun of the cops, "LOOK the cop's grabbing the guy's ass!! That's sexual harassment!!". It was worth a laugh and a half.

We get in the place and try and find Brittany and her 327328 friends she was bringing, never did find any of them. Probably cause they were never there to begin with!!! Yeah Brittany cancelled her party, ah well, we got drunked anyways.

The Blarney Stone was a lot of fun. Like, $68 worth of fun, cause that's how much I spent on drinks. Plus the half bottle of jager I chugged at Scott Rd Skytrain stn before we left, I'd say it was a pretty good night.

Getting back home proved to be interesting. We took the skytrain there, now we had to take it back. Unfortunately we had to leave early enough that I didn't have time to sober up, so when me and Shannon got back to my car at Scott Rd I handed her the keys. Yeah, I actually let someone else drive my car.... it kinda beats dying :P

The next day was Amanda's birthday!! It was supposed to be a crazy outdoor party, but the rain buttfucked that possibility. Still, it ended up being a decent gathering! Everyone had a good time and some graaaand stories were told.

I actually dozed off halfway through writing this post, due to the lack of sleep during the weekend. I think my brain is trying to give me hints like, "Hey, stop wasting your braincells writing this dumb post and go catch up on some sleep!"

Silly brain, when have I ever used any braincells while writing these posts? Yeesh.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Well, it's been a long weekend..... I have just NOW recovered enough to post about it.

First things first.....


I wonder who'll even bother to read the rest of this post.... I'm pretty sure at least half of slurrey's visitors only read books with pictures in them!

Sooooo the weekend began on a friday night, as most weekends usually do. I was feeling exhausted from the night before, so I thought it was going to be a pretty quiet night. Little did I know that I'd be going to a club, driving from Surrey to Delta to Richmond to Vancouver to Downtown Vancouver to Burnaby to New West to Port Coquitlam to Coquitlam to Port moody (Lower Mainland tour 2007 baby!!) and going to bed at like 4:30 am. EPIC.

Jessika wants to go to Organix from some UHN TISS UHN TISS.... it sounded like fun so me and Shannywack joined her. We drove there to avoid relying on the Skytrain, bah what a mistake. Finding both the club and parking while driving around the downtown east side was as fun as looking for a heroin needle in a haystack....

The club itself was pretty good. We just sat around and drank. I only had a vodka/red bull, while Shannon had friggin' 3 shots of Tequila and a beer. That resulted in pictures like this! Some epic lightsaber fight took place behind us, then I stared at the crazy visualizations on one of the millions of video screens they have there. Crazy, I bet that club could blackout a small town with its power usage. We hung out with Mark and Brian for a bit, Mark was totally foooo0o0oked on acid and that resulted in some good lulz.

We leave Organix, Jessika stays behind with Mark (hmmm!) and me Shannon and Jill go back to my car. Errrrr nope, we can't get into the parkade because the gates are locked. By the time we walk around the building, someone lets us in, find my car, and get out of there, Jill's missed her last skytrain. So she got to came along for the roadtrip we took all over the lower mainland.... it was fun times!! After leaving Shannon in Port Moody I dropped Jill off in Fleetwood and got home when it was almost starting to get bright out again!

Saturday morning comes, and that didn't mean my driving was over! I drove back to pick Shannon up cause she was sorta stranded there, came back, went to FutureShop for a bit and lusted after some LCD monitors, met up with Val, went to Ashleigh's for a bit, then hung out at my house. We were gonna go to the fireworks that night, but ended up at Ashleigh's house again for a wee bit of partying. Well, I was too tired to drink so I just played Sonic CD till I almost beat it. That game is a total trip!! Ashleigh's cat is also batshit crazy, it CHASED Val around everywhere!

I drove Val home and on the way back my tire farted all its air out, leaving my car damn near undriveable. Luckily this event occurred as I was entering my driveway, the most convenient place EVER.

On sunday (a day that lived up to its name, weather-wise) me Val Eric Dudley Amanda Colin Matt Ashleigh and Joe went to Cultus Lake. Eric Colin and I head to the cliffs for some Jolly good cliff jumping. I got some pretty epic pictures of their jumps, and even video of Eric jumping off the 50 ft cliff...

Me: "Any last words?"
Eric: "Shut up Mike!"
Eric: "Seriously those will be the last words on my tombstone, shut up Mike!"

He jumps and surprisingly lives to tell the tale (not like the video wouldn't though!). And we head back and hang out at the beach for a while. It was a good day!

Later that night me Val and Shannon watched 300 on high definition. It was amazing as usual, I've probably watched that movie 300 goddamn times... I can't get enough of it. And on hi-def too...... if it was possible to collect the drool of everyone watching that movie on blu-ray or HD-DVD..... there'd be enough to re-vegetate the sahara desert.

Monday comes around, and I go buy that LCD monitor that caught my eye on saturday. It's a 22 inch LG Flatiron widescreen, with 3000:1 contrast ratio and a 2 ms response time... plus HDMI and component inputs..... for only $379!! If whatever I just said made no sense to you at all, congratulations you are not a nerd. Nyuk Nyuk whatever, I'm the one basking in 22 inches of 'nerdiness' even as I type this right now.

Ew fuck that didn't right at all.

So that's my weekend! I may have spent most of it half-asleep and in the most primitive of mental states, but I sure had some fun!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Since I haven't posted in a while, allow me to share the details of the last 2 weeks with you. Not like you care or anything... ah who am I kidding, look how popular Paris Hilton's life is in news articles. Her left tit gets more coverage than the war in Iraq.


It only took me a few days to recover from the slurrey camping trip. During the weekend we went to Ceilis for some good drinkin', and also because it was the birthday party of some girl I've had on msn for like 7 years, but never ended up meeting.

It was like the camping 2007 afterparty or something. We all got really drunk and had a blast, I think I drank another 452 different types of alcohol that night!

Then last week I started work for my new company. I like it already... no bullshit politics and shit-talking, no being shipped off to Suckchelt, and an actual decent wage too!

Why I didn't do this sooner, I don't know.

Well, I have to use the toilet facilities, so this post will have to be pinched short. Till next time, turd-burglars!

Oops almost forgot:

PICS FROM CEILIS!!! (camping afterparty?!)
Yeah I'm still alive, surprisingly enough. I wouldn't be surprised if that changed soon though, with all the retards on the road.

Here in BC, getting a driver's licence is quite the hassle... new drivers have to go through over 2 years of "graduated licencing" bullshit! However, I question its effectiveness, cause most other drivers I encounter on the road drive like they haven't graduated elementary school yet.

Yesterday a bus driver near surrey central is a foot away from smoking the back of my car with his reckless driving. Goddamnit we already have to yield to these big stupid vehicles... but when there's someone who thinks he's above all traffic laws piloting one of those things.... it's just frightening.

Today took the cake though. Some jackass in a VAN KAM semi decided to cut across 2 lanes and into mine, nearly smashing into me. Luckily I slammed on my brakes as hard as I could, and even more luckily there was no one behind me to shove themselves up my car's ass.

As I was witnessing the 100% pure unfiltered stupidity occuring before me, I pushed the horn so hard I coulda sworn the steering column would get pushed through the dash. God I wish I could replace my horn with say, a rocket launcher or something.

I see him and he's fucking laughing, like he proud of it or something! I think what I did next is going be a new slurrey feature. Portraits of shitty drivers! Order yours today!

"Huhuuhuh me drive good!"

Today's near-death experience is brought to you by nutcase truck drivers.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Greatest Slurrey Field Trip Ever!!!

So it was finally gonna happen, the event that we were waiting 6 months for! The event I had to skip an important class and try and get through on the phone for 3 hours to make it happen!!

It was time to do some fuckin' camping!!

First off, a little bit of background info. I had reserved the group campsite at Hick's Lake back in January. I told everyone about it, and everyone was quite excited about going camping for 5 days! They all had 6 months of notice to tell their places of employment about their plans, and we had up to 45 people saying they were in!!

As the months went by and July 15th crept closer and closer, people started dropping out. Especially in the last week or so.........

So how many people ended up coming?


That's right. Only 9!! And only 4 of us who stayed the entire time! But did it make it any less of an epic party?! Fuck no ;)

So who ended up coming?! Well obviously me and Val, though she could only get 2 days off from work and couldn't stay the entire time! Eric and Marta could only stay for 2 days too, so they were able to give Val a ride home! Shannon managed to get the entire time off, even with 2 jobs (one of them fairly new). Mark and Pearce got the whole time off too, and Mel and Donny were gonna stay the whole time but it started pissing rain and the mosquitos were too much! So they only stayed for 3 days :P


- We wake up and we meet up at my house at 11 am. Since I'm driving Val, Mark, and Pearce up there, there's barely any room for all our camping shit! Luckily, Shannon had room in her truck, and when we changed that, we put the rest in Mel and Donny's van. It was hard to get it all in... but all those years of me playing Tetris (or fitting big things into tight spaces) finally paid off.

- We get on the freeway and head to Abbotsford to meet up with Eric and Marta. We were early so we stopped to eat at McDick's, aka McDonald's.

Do you ever wonder why people call it McDick's? I sure do. I mean, why would any guy want to say they ATE at a place nicknamed "McDick's"?

- Eric arrives and we go shopping! Most of the food me Val and Shannon bought consisted of munchies, cause yeah it was gonna be one of THOSE kinda camping trips! Also got a good amount of Ravioli too!

- So then we head off to Harrison in a 4-car convoy! We make a pit stop in Harrison to get some ice and use the last REAL washrooms we'd be able to use in 4 days, and then head for the group site!

- We get to the group site, YAY!!! And INSTANTLY we were EATEN ALIVE by mosquitos! Cocksucking mosquitos.... quite literally, cause one bit me on the fucking dick!! Fuckers... they can suck my nut. OH GUESS WHAT, THEY DID.

The mosquitos were quite relentless so the first thing we did when we got out was drench each other in enough repellent to poison a small town. And I found that it still wasn't enough!

- The next task was to set up the tents. Everyone else had nice, easy to set up tents! While me and Val were putting up her PALACE of a tent, I think half my brain cells commited suicide trying to figure out how the hell to put it up! Everytime we go camping, Val's tent and I have an epic battle, and it usually wins! Eventually, the tent was up... sorta.

- Shannon had brought up some citronella torches, but you had to pour the oil into them and we didn't have a funnel. I tried doing it first, but trying to get it all without spilling all over the place took FOREVER. Shannon filled the other one with the oil, and I was quite impressed! ... With how much of it spilled onto the floor :P

- We all went swimming in the lake, which actually wasn't THAT cold. We pushed a log into the water, and Eric Marta Shannon Mark and I rode it to the island closest to our beach! It was a neat island, the the rocks around it were disgustingly slimy! So much that you could barely stand up in the water! We never went to that island again :P

- That night we just chilled around the fire and drank a little, it was only the first night there anyways!


- Wake up monday and I start the fire, which was retarded cause we just went straight to the beach afterwards! Eric, Mark, and Pearce were working on a raft! A fucking raft!!! And you know what!? It turned out awesome!!!

- Me, Valyce, Eric, Marta, Mark, and Pearce rode the "HMS Slurrey" to the second island, which was quite a bit farther than the first one and harder to get to cause the freakin currents were pushing us towards the swamp! Shannon hadn't woken up yet (her sleeping patterns are worse than mine :P ) so we just left anyways! After what seemed like eons of paddling, we finally make it to the island and chill there for a bit!

- I'm half-asleep tanning on this flat rock (well, burning myself actually) and Val wakes me up and points out into the water. We see a distant figure swimming towards the island.... it was Shannon! She woke up and swam ALLLL the way to the second island, which is friggin' insane!! That's a fucking long ass swim!!

- After getting back to the beach some people go napping. Shannon wanted to go into town and I've always wanted to go 4x4ing, so me her and Pearce got into her truck and explored the local dirt roads!! Hell, half the dirt on the dirt roads ended up in her truck/on me! I got video too, but so much dust got into my video camera that it didn't record properly.

- We get back and I immediately get attacked by moquitos again, I woulda thought the 2 inch layer of dust on me would have provided SOME protection against them, but they just don't give up!! I swatted one a total of 17 times (yes I COUNTED) and it still kept going after me!

- It was dinner time, and the smokies came out! Now whenever Mark had a weiner on a stick, it always resulted in crazy antics like this. No one's orifice of any kind was safe with Mark and his smokie!

- El Valito and I cooked some hot dogs over the fire and ate them. They didn't sit too well, for me at least. About an hour later they definitely weren't behaving in there, and were gonna come out, one end or the other. I ran to the bathroom and found out which end it was.

- The rest of that night was..... psychedelic to say the least. I found that the top trippiest things were the gravel, the fire, any shadows, the tiki torches in the background, and Shannon's crazy hair. Eventually, Val remembered we had glowsticks, so we opened those up and had a rave of some sort! DJ Shannywack put on some good old-skool tunes, and then DJ Mark took over and put on his hardcore trance stuff. That night will always go down in history as one of the craziest nights ever.

- We took lots of video that night as well!! Not only did I have my video camera there, but Shannon had brought one too!! A week or two before camping we went to bestbuy and I helped her pick out a fuckin' awesome one. She wanted it specifically for camping!

- I thought I imagined mice running around on the ground eating stuff, and oh wait, they were REAL. Those little buggers were fearless. Or just retardedly hungry.

- Even when Val fell asleep on the chair, a spider was crawling on her face! And when I looked at the pics... I saw that the spider wasn't imagined either! For some reason, when the morning came (and the first bit of rain) we tried sleeping in my car!

- Mark tried using the bathroom, but when he lifted the seat, a million bugs flew up out of it! Of course half of them were imagined, but Mark took a can of Off! and a lighter, and made a flamethrower out of it. It wasn't a surprise that it worked better than the Off! stuff itself.


- It was Eric, Marta's and Val's last day here, so we were gonna make it count!! First, I had to hose all the dirt from 4x4ing out of my hair, then we went swimming for a bit. After everyone woke up we headed down to the rope swing. The skeeters were bad so we wore towels around our heads! We looked like a bunch of taliban walking down the road! We finally get to the rope swing and spend a good amount of time there, it was awesome in more ways than anyone thought a rope swing could be.

- Instead of doing the logical thing and walking back the way we came, we decided to just keep walking and go around the entire lake! Ah yes, that's the slurrey way! It was a long walk and I lost like 20 pounds (though I'm not sure if that was from the exercise or from the loss of blood from mosquitos biting me).

- When we got back it was time for Eric, Marta, and Val to leave, so I helped Val pack up all her stuff and they left at like 5 pm. It was too bad they had to leave early!

- It looked like it was gonna rain, so Shannon and I got some sticks and stuff and lit the fire inside the log eating area, and then we started drinking! I just kept doing Jager bombs, she stuck to her Kokanees. Mark and Pearce stuck to their weed, and Pearce in particular was quite stuck to his PSP! Mel and Donny did their own thing for the most part, though they did come and take a few hoots off the aquatic pipe of death :P

- I don't remember much about drunk-night, except for my vision being all blurry (and the camera somehow capturing it), me and Shannon laughing at Eric's porn magazines that he left behind, stupid-ass moths that kept flying into the citronella candles, Shannon eating a cold can of ravioli and dropping her poor CD onto a candle, "THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH", Mark falling asleep (or half asleep) and taking pictures of it, etc etc! It was a fun night.


- We wake up and it's absolutely PISSING rain outside!! It was really bad. At least the morning started off with a bang!

- Not only that, it almost started off with a real bang! When Shannon refilled her torches, there was a puddle of oil spilled again. So she's like "I'm gonna light it on fire to get rid of it!". And as I took a picture I noticed the open bottle of oil sitting right in the puddle! We almost got blown up :P

... except not really, cause even after we moved the bottle we couldn't get the damn puddle to light :P

- That whole day we basically layed around, went into town to get some stuff, etc. There's only much you can do when it's pissing so much rain outside!!

- Mel and Donny left that day. They packed everything up, were ready to go, and...... Donny couldn't find the keys to the van!!! They spent like 5 hours searching EVERYWHERE, even going through the sand on the beach! Eventually the keys were found.... in Donny's pants!

- Tonight was gonna be a good night for.... cookie! Yep, Amy's good stuff! Anyone who listens to the slurrey show knows how much Shannon and I like them! So we had some and put on Pink Floyd.... and it was pure friggin awesomeness. We drank energy drinks so we didn't fall asleep, but that might have been why we didn't feel that good later that night.

- Mark did 4 hits of Acid and was foooooked, and him and Pearce went off on all sorts of hilarious shit. I laughed so hard it probably registered on a richter scale somewhere. Mark also had more fun with his weiner, that thing sure went all over the place!! I thought I was gonna get my eye poked out.

- The rest of that night slowly descended into slight nausea, I guess cookies and energy drinks don't mix!


- We wake up at like 8 am from the sound of the heavy rain ass-pounding our tents. Woooo, packing up was so much fun *shakes fist and/or dick at the sky*

- We packed up and headed back to good ole Slurrey! At one point on the freeway, it was raining so hard I thought we were going to die!

- All that camping left us pretty burnt out, I think I remained in a vegetative state for like 48 hours after camping. I don't unpack my camping stuff till 3 days later! Hell it's been 5 days and I'm finally writing this post!

And that was pretty much it! Of course, a few more things that happened during the trip.... but what happens at Hick's Lake stays at Hick's Lake! Whoever missed out will probably never know the magnitude of fun times they missed out on!

Here's the top quotes that I can remember from the trip!

Pearce: "If anything, we'll probably be lying on the beach in the morning looking straight up into the sky and screaming like pterodactyls"
(Pearce describing being high on acid)

Val: "It felt like the blair witch project when I was going to the porta-potties over there.."
Me: "I left a blair witch project in the porta-potty."

Mark: "This chair... although it may not look it, from your point of view... ooh look it's a fucking chair... but to us, this colors thing is just a thrusty.... oh sexy blanket, show us your secret powers..."
(Mark high on acid)

Me: "Wow dude, for growing up like an ethiopian you sure turned out pretty normal.."
(While Shannon was eating a can of cold ravioli and telling me how she was used to it!)

Pearce: "Let's get it stoned"
(After eric finds a toad in the water and picks it up)

Shannon: "Omg you are so stuuuuupid!!!"
(Seeing a moth fly right into a candle)

Me: "This is like watching a car accident in slow motion"
(Eric swinging on the super high rope swing, not letting go, and bouncing off of trees and branches)

Shannon: "Mike... you just made my entire fuckin year"
(Me putting on Pink Floyd after we got super shtoooned)

I don't really remember any other quotes, possible due to being sober a whopping 0% while camping! Even though the weather sucked, everyone had a ton of fun!

The thing that sucks about people cancelling though... I was required to pay $280 to reserve the group site for at least 20 people! 9 people who came and paid me $15 each, I got $135.... so I was basically out $145. Whatever, it was fuckin' worth it!!!

Anyways, here's the pictures from the trip!


In addition to the 1000+ pics we took, watch for videos coming soon!!!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

In 10 hours we leave for the greatest field trip in the history of slurrey!

CAMPING 2007 will be epic and awesome and well.... take every positive word in the english language and multiply it by 3287239.... and it still wouldn't describe how great this will be!

We'll be back thursday afternoon!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Wanna see a short unfinished clip from the new SLURREY DVD?
There's still a lot of work to be done (music, voiceovers etc) but you'll have some sorta idea what the final style of the movie will be:

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Hi! This is MiKE. You may remember me as the guy who used to update this site eons ago. Well, it seems I've been busy with some projects, in addition to getting ready for the huge slurrey camping trip in like..... 3 days.

One of those projects is our new DVD coming out. It contains HOURS of the most entertaining never-before-seen footage we've captured over the last few years. Not only that, but it will contain many of the slurrey videos on this site, except they'll all be in DVD-quality video!! If this news excites you, then commence your fapping now.

SLURREY: The Movie is due out by the end of summer 2007! This mockumentary-style DVD will explore some interesting slurrey activities, such as our idea of pyrotechnics, survival in the outdoors (aka slurrey camping), alcoholic beverages (and their results), the history behind, and a bunch of other stuff that will entertain the crap out of you (literally.... you'll probably have to sit on a toilet while watching this DVD.

Watch for a preview soon!!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007


Me, Val, Eric and Marta spent the canada day long weekend camping in Tofino!! It was quite fun there, and yet it was also rather COLD!! So cold in fact, that my genital still hasn't returned to its normal size.

So here is a detailed log of our trip!! It's quite long, but not as long as the log I dropped into the toilet when I got back home (I hadn't shat in 4 days!)

- On friday El Valito and I get up and get ready. Being the organized girl she is, she had all her camping stuff packed like... friggin 3 years before the camping trip. I, on the other hand, waited till the last possible minute to grab the shit I needed. It's how I roll.

- We met up with Eric and Marta at guildford, then took the highway to the ferry terminal. The traffic was unforgiving, who knew that THAT many people also wanted to get out of the lower mainland at the same time? You'd think there was like... a tsunami coming or something.... except for the fact that everyone was heading TOWARDS the ocean. It wouldn't surprise me, typical vancouver logic :P

- We get to the ferry and begin the eternal wait in the lineup. I coulda sworn I sprouted a couple new gray hairs during that time. Me and El Valito sat in the car with out nintendo DS's and sent
dirty pictures to each other to pass the time ;)

- We finally get on the ferry and begin our long-ass ferry ride to Nanaimo! It wasn't too boring, there were
lots of great things to take pictures of, and when those ran out, I found plenty of non-great things to take pictures of too!

- We
arrive in Nanaimo!!! This is the beginning of our great adventure!!! How great was it gonna be??! A good indication would be the fact that MY GODDAMN CAR STARTED HAVING ENGINE PROBLEMS AS SOON AS WE GOT OFF THE BOAT!!! Ah what lovely timing, it's like the laws of physics are constantly bent or broken in order to allow any vehicle I drive to break down in the most inconvenient of places. Granted I've had no major problems with this car at all since I've owned it (aside from the crackheads breaking windows and random tires hitting it) so I guess I had it coming.

- We pull over into a
canadian tire parking lot and decide to set up camp there for the night. There was a liquor store nearby as well, so we got some booze and drank and camped in a parking lot!! Goooooooooooood times!

- Morning rolls around and I go into Canadian tire to see if they can fix my car. It would end up costing me $330 bucks... how that made me feel is best described in this
picture of me paying the bill.

You know what's funny about canadian tire?? They charge you $80 to run a ODBII diagnostic tool and check your car for problems. The chick there tried to justify it by saying it's a $12,000 machine they hook up to it!

Ummmmm... so why can I get one for 120 bucks from

So while they couldn't rip me off due to my stupidity, not being able to get my hands on my own ODBII left me with no choice.

- I get my car fixed, and we begin the
long journey to Tofino! We had to go through all these mountains and shit, well more mountains than shit... and 3 hours later we made it to the campsite! And as soon as we arrived, the clouds parted way and the sun shone victoriously, as if to welcome us to this wonderful place!!! It was still cold as fuck though.

- We exploreded the beach, there was lots of neat stuff like....
sand!!! Yeah, an actual SANDY beach!!! And CLEAR water!!! You could see like 15 ft to the bottom of the ocean!!!! Unlike the lower mainland, where all the crap from the fraser river makes the water so murky you can barely sink in it. And with the lack of crap in the water comes.... sealife!! The non-radioactive kind!!! And tons of other sea-related stuff too!!

- That night we went to the beach and had a
beach fire!! The first beach fire we tried to make, the tide came in and nearly trapped us on a rock! So we went back to the sandy beach and had a regular fire! There were tons of other people having fires on the beach too, it was quite the festive atmosphere.

- The next day we went into town to get some groceries, and then went to long beach so Eric could do some
boarding. LONG BEACH WAS COLDER THAN THE INVERSE OF HELL. AND WINDIER THAN THE MOTHER OF ALL FARTS. The wind was so cold that it burned!! I thought my nuts would freeze, break off, and be blown away! But Eric, being the trooper he is, swam in the pacific ocean anyways! After long beach we went to Radar Hill and checked out the views, they were amazing and a half.

- Went back to the campground, and I built a
badass fire while Eric cooked some rad burgers. Eric cremated something that was once close to him (eww), his boxers. It was funny, when he threw them on the fire, it looked like the flames tried to avoid them :P

- We went back into Tofino and watched the
Canada Day fireworks from some random abandoned factory lot. It was raining pretty hard by that point, and I think we were the only ones sober, but that didn't matter cause the fireworks kicked my ass in like 3 directions. On the way back from town, it was quite the challenege not running over people randomly walking into traffic. Losers.

- We wake up the 3rd day and it was
non-stop pissing rain, this also happened to be the same day we were leaving so it wasn't too bad. We pack everything up while nearly catching hypothermia in the process, and head back to Nanaimo to catch the ferry.

Nothing else really happened on the way back!!! All in all it was a great camping trip, and also good practice for the BIG CRAZY ONE coming up in 10 days!!!! Stay tuned for more info on that one!