

Thursday, August 14, 2008

If you feel like your heart has broken, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences the type of grief we call heartbreak at one time or another - and some people seem to have their hearts broken many times throughout their lives. Just think about all the songs you've heard on the radio about broken hearts! Of course, it's not really your heart but your feelings that are hurt.
Lots of things can cause heartbreak. Sometimes you might experience the pain of a romantic relationship that ends before you're ready. It might be because you love someone who doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe you've lost a friend or relative or someone else you care about. The causes may be different, but the feeling of loss is the same - whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness. Although poets have written about the pain of heartbreak for thousands of years, when it's happening to you, you may feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same. Or maybe you feel like every sad song was written just for you and your situation!
If you're recovering from a broken heart, there are things you can do to lessen the pain. Here are some tips that might help: · Share your feelings. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust may help you to feel better. That could mean simply talking with a friend or family member. For some, letting the tears flow seems to help them heal faster. For others, simply hanging out together and doing things you normally enjoy, like seeing a movie or going to a concert, can be comforting. Somehow just being with someone who cares about you can make things feel a little better.
· Take good care of yourself. A broken heart can be very stressful. But don't let the rest of your body get broken, too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self esteem a boost.
· Remember what's good about you. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to help you remember what's good about you.
· Keep yourself busy. Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened, it just means you should focus on other things, too.
· Give yourself time. It takes time for sadness to go away. Almost everyone thinks they won't feel normal again, but the human spirit is amazing - and the heart almost always does heal after a while. But how long will that take? That depends on what caused your heartbroken feeling - and on how you deal with loss and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things. Mending a broken heart can take from a couple of days to many weeks - and sometimes even months.
While we're at it, we might as well mention a few things that won't help. Like getting angry (or desperate) and trying to hurt yourself or someone else, drinking or taking drugs to feel better or become numb, or locking yourself up in a dark room. Sometimes, though, the sadness is so deep - or lasts so long - that a person may need some extra support to deal with a broken heart.
So, be patient with yourself - and let the healing begin.