Thursday, May 20, 2010

Heartbreak Ridge Was Never This Arrogant

Karl Lagerfeld, you just made me burst into fits of laughter, you old turd !

Woah, the last time I posted crap was 5 days ago ? It feels like it has been a week or two *rubs chin*

Diagnostic just started today and BM didn't give us any mercy. It wasn't that hard but I wouldn't want to boost my confidence. Paper 1 didn't make me go all fidgety, thank God. I was so worried ! But of course, every time I'll end up getting lame marks. Paper 2 was pure crap, especially section B and C. This time, the government decided to make everything based on facts. So for section B, we were supposed to right on "Cara-cara mengatasi kes jenayah" and section C, I chose to write on "Usaha-usaha melahirkan pelajar cemerlang". I didn't know what got into me, the question about an incident was easier but heck, I gave it my best shot. Fingers crossed, hope I'll get an A.
Tomorrow we'll sit for English paper. I'm not as nervous as how I felt during BM just now. But, Pn. Suzila's marking skill is strict, not kidding !
I can't screw up my Diagnostic, I can't end up with 4A's like my Intervensi 2. No matter how messed up I am right now, that won't be an excuse. Yes, no excuses.

I've been going to and fro, from home to Ampang Puteri Hospital. Mom got transferred from DSH to that hospital. Now she's back home, thank God. I'll definitely give her a helping hand. She seems weak after all the tests, and now she's still waiting for the results from two other tests.
Dad has been quite stressed up for the past few days and I'll be the one receiving tirades from him, for no reason. I get it, you're stressed but you don't need to put all the pressure on me.

Emotional posts will conquer my blog cause well, my life is on a very very long roller coaster ride right now.

My closest friends like Dydy and Sabrina most probably know that I'm the kind of girl who keeps everything to myself. I only let it out when I feel like I can't handle it on my own anymore. People say that keeping things to ourselves isn't a good way. It's like you're pressuring yourself. You're already stressed with the problem you're facing, then you're adding the pressure with the fact that you're facing it on your own. Definitely not a healthy way. But that's how I roll. I keep it to myself til I feel like bursting. Why ? I just don't want to drag people into my problem. It makes me feel selfish. I mean like, it's MY problem and if I tell someone, that person will start comforting me and all maybe. That makes me feel guilty cause I'll ask myself, "Why should they be apart of my problem, listening to me ranting about my problem when maybe, they have their own problems to handle ?". I will feel like I'm carrying guilt with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Now, just try and understand why do I always go on the silent mode. Understand why don't I answer honestly when you people ask me what's wrong. Just understand me for a change.


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