Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Some ideas of what Sarah might be thinking

I know I'm not the first woman to feel this way, but it's really annoying me how women's voices are missing from the Torah. For example, here is a very well-known story, the story of Abraham and Sarah. Sarah is old, she hasn't had a child. She ends up giving her servant woman to Abraham so she can have a child "through her" (surrogacy 3000 years ago!). In the end, G-d decides to let Sarah have a child after all... at age 90... Here is what I imagine she might be thinking....

A. I heard G-d (well, it seemed like men, but I knew it was G-d) talking to my husband, saying that I was going to have a child. Me - pregnant - at 90! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I always wanted to have a baby, but I gave up that dream years ago. There is no way that this old tired body could carry and give birth to a baby! Who is this G-d that my husband has decided to obey? Why does this He want to torture me? What have I ever done to Him to deserve this?

B. So...unbelieveably... it has happened. Even though my periods stopped years ago, even though the change of women already passed, even though I'm old and wrinkled... Abraham came to me, and we made love, and a few weeks later, I realized that Abraham's G-d is very powerful indeed. I am with child. I had to go to much younger women to learn what I need to do now, what foods to eat, how to care for my growing body. I hope I can do this. I hope this G-d knows what He is doing.

C. Pain. Unbelieveable pain. How will this huge child ever come out of my body? Damn this G-d.

D. We have a son. Abraham is so happy, so proud. I am amazed, and tired. We will call him Yitzchak because his very existence makes me laugh and laugh and laugh....