Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Royal birth and how it complicates my devious master plan

So we have another heir to the throne, although I'll never see his coronation given I doubt he'll be south of 70 before he accedes to the throne, thus I'll have to be older than 120 probably to see this event.

Now - you know they changed the law so if the baby had been a she they would still have remained 3rd in line to the throne even if the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had a subsequent male child?  Well they did; however this was not retrospectively applied.  This means Princess Anne, whilst being the Queen's second child, is actually lower in line to the throne than Andrew and Edward, her younger male siblings, and all of their offspring.  I think this is a travesty for woman's rights and should be corrected forthwith!!!   Actually the main reason I have this interest is that it would elevate Zara Philips (Princess Anne's daughter) from a lowly 15th in line to I think 9th.  

Why is that important?  Simple.  Zara is married to Gloucester rugby star and former England Captain Mike Tindall (the man with a nose that can smell around corners) and I can't help having silly desire to see him as HRH The Prince Consort to HRH Queen Zara.  Can you imagine Mike greeting various heads of states or going on tours to the Commonwealth?  Having to dress up in all the regalia etc?  Come on I bet it's just brought a smile to your face.

The new baby therefore adds complication to my master plan which is clearly to see all those preceding Zara in the line of accession meeting an untimely and sticky end so that my devilishly funny plan to see Mike alongside Zara in full regalia at the State Opening of Parliament can be fulfilled.   Brrrrhahahaaha  (That's meant to be a demonic maniacal laugh btw.).   So if I can get the female accession act amended to be retrospectively applied I reduce my task by 6 and spare both Andrew, Edward and their offspring meeting suspicious ends.

BBC Royal Family Tree showing accession and titles etc.


  1. The hullabaloo about the royal birth s a welcome comedy for me amid a sad time in my family. On the local news the other night, they ran a story about some family in Texas preparing a big party for the ten impending birth.

    I live in New York, and it was funny to me that so little was going on in the world that the fluff piece was presented as a real news item.

  2. Your ulterior motives are both admirable and slightly skewed. It'll never happen.

    I wonder what they did with the royal afterbirth? Here in the insane U.S., they've taken to EATING it! They also plant it in the garden as fertilizer. I attended the birth of both daughters and have never set eyes on it. I was warned not to from my brother-in-law, advice that I'm eternally grateful for.

  3. Yes, I would pay good money to see Prince Mike.

  4. i'm so oblivious that i hadn't realized female royals had no shot at the throne - there have been plenty of Queens, so i figured there was equality. silly me...

    and you realize that should something happen to all of those standing in the way of your desired outcome you will likely become a 'person of interest' because of this post!

    1. Opps that might somewhat scupper the plans if they read this...