Tuesday, 17 January 2012

When Is A Twin Not Just A Twin ...

When she's a twin, of course. *Sigh.*

I'm glad I'm not a twin, it looks like hard work. At least in my house it does. 

The Teen Twins shared the womb and since then have shared a bedroom. For several years the 16 minutes between the birth of Twin One and the arrival of Twin Two was the longest time they'd ever spent apart.

They were in the same class together at infants and junior schools and consequently shared the same friends. When at 11, they were separated into different classes at secondary school I thought they might make their own friendships. And they did, then all the friends joined into one big group anyway and so they still socialise together, get invited to the same parties, same cinema outings and shopping trips together.

They might do everything together -yes, even going to the bathroom sometimes *eye-roll* - but they are individual people. Non-identical, they're alike enough to confuse strangers, the unobservant and elderly relatives but their personalities are very much all their own work. 

Effectively they spend more time with each other than even the most devoted and loving of couples could spend together without feeling the need to scream out loud. And some (most) of that time they don't even like each other very much.

There is nothing in all the known world that can be more bitchy, hurtful and manipulative to each other than a pair of sixteen-year-old twin girls because they KNOW exactly where to wound and just how deep to stick the (metaphorical) knife. You don't need an embarrassing mother (and I'm excellent at Embarrassing Mother) to dig out the naked baby photos and tell all about the scraggy teddy you can't bear to sleep without when you have a twin and that twin is right there with you EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

But I must say, they're very fair. They do take it in turns to be mindlessly awful to each other.

I'm only glad that, after an optimistic Year7 tried to date both twins one after the other, I "advised" that they had one rule they kept between the pair of them: That they would never date each other's boyfriends. Boys have tried and boys have failed and generally been made to feel a right royal idiot to even think that one twin would go out with the other twin's cast-offs. AS IF.

And if at times the house seems to be the centre point of a hormonal armaggedon, there are other times when, if they are parted for any length of time, one forlorn adolescent will wistfully wonder how long her other half might be and what she might be doing all the while drooping around the house like a plant without a pot.

And woe-betide the unwary and unwise who might just mention that they might, all things considered, LIKE a rest from each other just once in a while for you risk the Stare of a Thousand Daggers.
*Learns never to do that again.*

Twins kissing


  1. Hi there - I found your post via this week's Parentonomy.
    What a great read - really interesting. I have cousins who are also non-identical twins (but who look very alike) and I have always found the bond between twins fascinating.
    Love the line about them taking turns to be "mindlessly awful to each other"!

  2. Hello there - and wow what a great post. Can't begin to imagine what it must be like living with these two.
    Teenagers are difficult enough, but.....
    Thanks for joining Parentonomy.



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