Best Place to Meet an Attractive Single Hipster

Colony Club
3118 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 722-7202
This place is hit or miss as a bar—some nights, you can go there and find Cool People fondling each others record collections; other nights it’s a nearly silent, empty museum of mid-century modern decor and just a few Cool People fondling their way through a first date. As a coffee shop, it can get crowded with Cool People on laptops, and the morning rush for a $3 cup of Ceremony drip will attract a phalanx of Cool People lightly jostling for position in the queue. Hang on… why is everyone here so cool? Why is everyone here so attractive? Why does everyone here know how to flirt with you, kind and soft-spoken, in a manner that seems to whisper, “Hey girl, I respect that you’re just going about your day, but if you want a compliment, I’d just like to let you know I’m brimming with the best kind?” Why does this place make me nervous every time I walk by? Why did I have to stop going here every morning? Oh yeah, because I was going broke on $3 cups of coffee for the chance to ogle some hot locals. If the proprietors open a to-go window that allows me to swing by on the morning dog walk, I’ll be back to ruining my finances just to feel some butterflies.