Sunday, September 23, 2018

The Clock Is Ticking: The Pressures Of Turning 30

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves when thirty is approaching? Or shall I rephrase that question. Why does society put so much pressure on us when it comes to turning thirty? I myself have been feeling the pressures that comes with it. I am not thirty yet but I will be turning 

September 28 and I must admit this birthday doesn't feel like others. Its the reality that in three years I will be thirty years old. I remember telling my best friend "Wow I am now the old bitch in the club". I won't lie to you all and say that I did not let society's stigma of being married with kids by the age of thirty get to me. I always thought that by thirty I would be married with 4 kids living a happy life raising a big family. Let's just say I got at least one kid out the way.
Normally I would spend my birthdays out partying with friends getting drunk. This birthday I only want to reflect and enjoy me time. I'm at that point where quality time is peaceful. I was talking to someone I love who has already experience the transition of turning thirty. The advice they gave really put in perspective what I feel and what many of you may be feeling. He said,

"Birthdays have a way of putting shit in perspective because we sit back and think to ourselves like when we were younger we pictured our lives being at a different level or point. That tends to make one look at their current place in life unsatisfied. Feeling you can do better, but have come up short. When in all honesty we do what was meant when it's meant. It takes time for your purpose to come clear.

You have to live this mfcka with the thought that everyday is just to better equip you for what lies ahead"

 What he said was really on point because that is exactly what big birthdays such as thirty does to you. Not feeling as if you have done enough or accomplished what you set out to accomplish.

I remember reading a article where a actress talked about how she spent so much money trying to keep up with the appearance of twenty one year olds and how the movie industry, her agents and parents put so much pressure on her because she was twenty nine approaching thirty. Society has made us feel that our life is over once we turn thirty.

I had a epiphany one night. Age does not define who we are. What matters is using our twenties to make mistakes, learn and grow from it. Not use it to worry about whether we have accomplished everything by thirty. What matters is our happiness, our health and self love. So what if you haven't got where you wanted in your career. Ask yourself are you at least working towards it? So what if you don't have a husband. Ask yourself why is a man needed to justify your life? Great things take time. No matter when it happens whether at twenty five or thirty five, it will happen.