A Player's Perspective - Dump Stat Adventureshttps://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/Mon, 22 Jul 2019 19:08:44 +0000en-USSite-Server v6.0.0-19023-19023 (http://www.squarespace.com)College of Negotiation - A Bard subclassD&D playerHomebrewChris CurranFri, 19 Jul 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/college-of-negotiation-a-bard-subclass5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5d2deed6fe453d0001f303a4Not every encounter needs to involve violence and bloodshed, sometimes you need to be able to talk your enemies down…Bards. When they aren’t trying to fuck someone, they are hurling insults at the nearest bad guy. But what if the Bard broke free of the murder-hobo thought process that most players have and tried to work out their differences with the monsters? You don’t always need to be hitting things. Sometimes words can be more powerful than the sword.

The College of Negotiation was the result of a request I got from one of our patrons (Thanks Stonie!). His son was trying to come up with a class or subclass that would focus on talking before trying to murder his foes. This doesn’t mean he was looking for a pacifist class, just one that would try to talk things through before crushing their skulls with his mace. I get that D&D in a combat based game and players like to hit things and roll dice, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to be gained by trying to talk to your potential foe first. Maybe you will get some valuable information about what lies ahead, or they could try to pay you off so you won’t kill them. I know you can just take the money off their dead bodies, but burning those spell slots could prove costly if you run into a horde of kobolds before you take a long rest.

A good negotiator relies on his ability to calm and soothe the person, usually through speaking to them and through body language. Charisma is the key stat for a negotiator, so bard was the obvious choice. Many of the bard’s existing abilities lend themselves to being able to have an effect on an angry person or creature, whether through words or song. Sometimes those words talk the angry individual off the ledge, other times they influence them to the extent that they realize that maybe fighting isn’t the best idea.

So let’s dive into the College of Negotiation Bard and see how words can tame even the most savage beast.

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Silver Tongue

If you’re going to try and negotiate with someone, it helps if they can understand you. Furthermore, you can set someone at ease right away of you can talk to them in their native language. So it made sense to have the Bard learn three additional languages right off the bat at 3rd level. This gives the bard the ability to speak common and at least 4 additional languages. That’s pretty impressive, since after four years of high school Spanish, all I can remember is “Donde esta la biblioteca”, and I really don’t give a shit where the library is.


Art Credit - Bard’s Tale Trilogy, Krome Studios

Art Credit - Bard’s Tale Trilogy, Krome Studios

Also at third level, your confidence and natural eloquence when you speak can reduce the effectiveness of you opponents attacks. Using an action, the Bard can expend one use of their Bardic Inspiration to see if they can enthrall their foes with his or her charming voice. In fact, you’re words are so sweet sounding the the ears, you can use this ability on multiple creatures, based on your Charisma modifier.

If your opponent(s) succumb to your eloquence, you get to roll that lovely bardic inspiration die and subtract your roll from their attack roll. Even better, when you reach 6th level, you can use your bardic inspiration on your opponents next attack, saving roll or ability check. Your choice, and with your inspiration now a d8, your silky smooth voice is even more enthralling.

Keep Them Laughing

You’re a funny guy. People think you’re hilarious. They howl in delight at your silly antics. People around you laugh so hard at your biting satire, that tears come to their eyes. Part story teller, part jester, you’ve become a master at making people laugh.

At 6th level you can use your biting humor to stop your foes in their tracks, incapacitating them for at least a round. Having to make a wisdom save against your spell DC, they better hope they are tuning in to the rest of the world around them, or they will become overwhelmed with laughter.

Greatest Desire

I just watched the first three seasons of Lucifer on Netflix. One of my favorite parts of the show is when Lucifer uses his ability to make his quarry confess to him their deepest, darkest desires. You can tell the the show runners have a great time with this, as some of the answers are hysterical.

Art Credit - Brian Wells

Art Credit - Brian Wells

At 14th level, you can spend 1 minute to weave a story of great interest and power to any humanoid within 30 feet of you. They have to hear you and see you which goes without saying, but you know us players. We try to get away with everything.

At the end of your performance or speech, they must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your Bard Spell DC or become charmed and will be willing to reveal their greatest desires and secrets. The poor sap now thinks that you are his closest and most trusted friend, and will be extremely amiable to your suggestions and commands. You can’t make them go against their moral values (alignment based) and you can’t have them do something that would get them killed (no jumping off a cliff orders folks), but otherwise they will think all your ideas are great ones and follow them.

So charmed by you, this effect lasts 8 hours! You can’t attack them or other friends they might have, or the charm will be broken. At the end of the 8 hours, the creature will not realize they were charmed and will try to figure out what the hell just happened. Don’t laugh too hard at them.

So there it is…the College of Negotiation. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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College of Negotiation - A Bard subclass
Exotic MountsD&D playerChris CurranFri, 12 Jul 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/monsters-as-mounts5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5d261f57edc2c3000133c61dWhy go through the bother of training a boring, old horse to be your mount when you could get an ogre? Or something bigger…..Last week we talked about war mounts. Those beasts were different than normal mounts as they were trained for battle, but still animals that a character would have to purchase. Today, let’s talk about some completely non-traditional mounts…monsters that your party can ride to victory!

We are going to exclude intelligent mounts such as dragons, unicorns and the like. These monsters can be used as mounts and have been discussed many times over. The monsters we will be talking about usually need to be created by some sort of magic or a bargain must be struck between them and the character. Each type of monster will be looking for a different arrangement, as each one has its own needs. These ‘contracts’ between rider and monster are usually tenuous at best, so the character better keep up their side of the bargain. Even if you do, you’ll still want to keep a close eye on them.

Monster mounts are unique among their brethren. They have some minor differences in their abilities versus a regular monster of that type, which makes them an option to be a mount. They still retain most, if not all of the normal stats for a creature of that type, however, they may be slightly less intelligent or have been cast out from their normal society. Whatever the reason, these creatures will do what they need to survive, and if that means carrying you around on their back, so be it.

A couple things to note. These monsters are not companions, but mounts. Being as they all have an intelligence score of four (4) or lower, they are unable to make any independent attacks, unless specifically stated in the creature description.

Let’s take a look at some of the monster mounts below.

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Earth Golem Mount

These golems wander the material plane looking for a new master to serve. Some may not have been given an assignment before their possessor died or they lost the treasure they were assigned to protect. Some will attack when confronted and these golems are not able to be mounts. Others will be found standing still, waiting for someone to come along allowing them to be of service. If the character can find the amulet that binds the golem to them, they will now serve its master. The earth golem mount will perform all commands as stated in the PHB, pg. 167.

An earth golem mount takes on the shape similar to those of other golems, however, it walks severely hunched over with its hands barely scraping the ground. It is unable to stand up straight due to its construction and cannot use its arms to attack. It can deliver a vicious head butt though. Ever get hit in the face with a brick (hopefully not)? It’s just like that, only the golem’s head is harder than a brick.


First, I want to say thank god the owlbear now looks like something we should fear, not laugh at out of pity. Seriously though, what character hasn’t wanted to ride an owlbear at some point in their life… probably those that value their existence. These owlbear mounts have been trained in the far reaches of the wild, and look to serve someone that will feed and provide them with shelter. In return for that, you get to ride around on the owlbear you have always craved.

Tough as nails, these owlbear lose their ability to multiattack, as they risk throwing off their rider when they try to attack twice. They have, however, been trained to release a deafening screech that will scare the shit out of everyone in the vicinity. As if an owlbear bearing down on you isn’t scary enough, now it’s screaming at you too. You’ll probably be glad when you fail your saving throw, as you’ll want to get the fuck out of there as fast as possible.

Riding Ogre

These ogres have been cast out from their society and wander the land alone. Any time they attempt to make a lair, other ogres and giants that come across them will attack and usually take over their domain, stripping them of their home and possessions. Because of this, riding ogres rarely stay in one place for very long.

When one comes across a riding ogre, they will be able to identify them by the crude ‘harness’ that is attached to their shoulders. Riding ogres, for all their stupidity, understand that to survive, they must be able to have a rider, and that rider cannot be falling off constantly. The harness is usually made of simple leather and rope construction, with straps going underneath the shoulders and armpits of the ogre, which keep a small seat that is fastened to the straps in place. A character slides into the seat, with their legs dangling through two holes that are in the bottom of the seat. Because of the way the seat has been constructed and how it sits on the ogre’s shoulders, only a creature of small stature or less may ride an ogre mount.

Art Credit - Dota 2

Art Credit - Dota 2

These ogres never learned how to swing a club effectively or the proper way to throw a javelin, so they do not have these weapons at their disposal. They can, however, slam people, creatures and most everything else with their fists. Now if your target doesn’t want to get too close so that they aren’t pummeled to death by those meaty ham sized fists, they can be crushed to death by rocks.

Finally, if an riding ogre takes damage equal to or more than 50% of its total hit points, he gets supremely pissed off. The ogre will fly into a rage, allowing it to move twice as fast and hit two times a round with those meaty hands we talked about above. The ogre will rage for three rounds, after which he will be exhausted and not be able to move or attack for a round. It takes time to recuperate from running around and beating the living crap out of everything.

Warforged Charger

Not understanding the concept of free will like their more intelligent brethren, these warforged look to serve a master like they did on Eberron. Designed to serve on the battlefield, the warforged charger is no stranger to the battlefield. Their creators developed them with the ability to maintain their balance with an unnatural grace one would not associate with the warforged. And even though their primary purpose was to serve strictly as a mount, they were equipped with some basic attack abilities to keep the mount alive as long as possible.

Running across the ground much like a bull, the warforged charger can slam into a creature with its “horns” that protrude from the top of its head. If it is able to gore the target, the charger can then continue to move forward and trample them. It’s kind of like getting run over by a car, but instead of tires, it has hands and feet.

There it is, our list of monster mounts. Agree? Disagree? Have a monster you think would make a great mount. Leave us a comment and let us know!


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War MountsD&D playerChris CurranFri, 05 Jul 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/war-mounts5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5d0aaf846efcf4000142e505Mounts can carry you, pull carts and be loaded down with all your gold. But what if they could do more? Take a look at our War Mounts.I went over Mounts in one of my first articles. They are criminally underutilized in most D&D campaigns, and they are expensive. They are horribly overlooked by most people, and the DMG has less than one page of information on them (DMG, pg.155). Mounts need barding (unless you want your horse, Bob the horse, to die in combat), food and lodging. That doesn’t even include buying them. My beautiful elephant costs 200 gp, and that’s just for a normal old elephant. (No DM in there right mind will only charge 200 for an elephant, but I digress.) Body armor for an elephant is bloody expensive. And after all that gold you spend on them, they can die pretty quickly if you aren’t careful in battle. If I can’t get my elephant, then I’m playing a halfling with a mastiff next campaign!

The number of actual mounts is somewhat limited. The'“official mounts” found in 5th edition are as follows - Camel, Donkey, Elephant, Draft Horse, Riding Horse, Mastiff, Pony, Warhorse. Pretty straightforward and honestly, kind of boring. Some people use mounts all the time, take feats to assist in mounted combat, and love their mounts as much as they do their pets. But when I talk to players, most say that mounts don’t factor into their games.

Mounts are basically a faster method of transportation. While you are able to attack from your mount, it can only take the Dodge, Disengage and Dash actions during combat. Mounts cannot attack unless they are dismounted and the mount is intelligent enough to act independently or it is provoked. I’m pretty sure a Donkey would run away, but if cornered it would fight.

Some mounts have been trained for battle and excel when out in the field crushing their enemies. These highly skilled mounts are not only used for transport, but have been training in the art of battle. Training for these creatures starts when the beast is still very young and is a long, arduous process. It is not cruel however, as these animals are meant to serve their masters with courage and stamina that is not found many warriors, let alone other mounts. These mounts have different focuses - some attack, some focus on defense and all have an intimidating presence as they travel through your town.

War Mounts

As stated above, the Players Handbook states that “It moves as you direct it, and it has only three action options: Dash, Disengage and Dodge.” (PHB 198) None of these ‘common’ mounts have a high enough INT to act independently on their own. Most will probably run for safety until the battle is over. That makes sense for common mounts that have not been trained to fight. But what about mounts that have been trained in the art of battle?

Since these specialized mounts have double duty as something that carries you around and can inflict damage during battle, they are much more expensive than a normal mount. That said, all of the attacks listed for each mount require the rider to use their bonus action to utilize the mount’s attack. Riders can use their actions as they normally would when mounted.

War mounts are usually the largest beasts of their kind so that they can carry the weight of armor and possibly multiple riders. It takes a special kind of person to break and train these mounts, and they expect to be compensated accordingly. Barding and upkeep on these mounts is also expensive, so players will have to figure out if the cost associated with each mount is worth the benefits it provides.

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The War Elephant

The war elephant is the largest of all the war mounts. Its presence on the battlefield instills fear in even the most seasoned of warriors. The war elephant’s abilities and attacks are as follows:

Art Credit - Enkrat

Art Credit - Enkrat


  2. Stomp. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5ft., one prone creature. Hit: 22 (3d10+6) bludgeoning damage.

  3. Trunk Sweep. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 13 (2d6+6) bludgeoning damage. Target must succeed on a DC 10 Strength saving throw or be knocked back 10 ft. and is prone. If the creature makes the saving throw, they are knocked back 10 ft. but remain standing.

  4. Charge. If the elephant moves at least 20 feet straight towards a creature and then hits it with a gore attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 15 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

The charge feature is brutal. If it wasn’t bad enough that you just got gored by the elephant’s tusks and run over, now it can stomp on you. The trunk sweep is less of an attack than a way for the elephant to clear a path forward by knocking over those in front of him like bowling pins.

The war elephant is also the only mount that can carry more than one person. If the player chooses to, he can buy a riding tower for the elephant that can hold up to 3 people at a time. Each tower is fitted with quivers in each corner for easy access to arrows, spears and other ranged weapons.

The war elephant does have one disadvantage that the other war mounts do not. Due to its massive size and height, rider(s) may only you melee weapons with a 10 ft. range or ranged weapons.

War Rhinoceros

The movie Black Panther made the war rhino famous. The scene where they charge onto the battlefield is amazing and led me to create this mount. If you haven’t see the movie yet, it’s a must see.

The war rhino’s abilities and attacks are as follows:

Art Credit -  Stian Dahlslett

Art Credit - Stian Dahlslett

  1. Charge. If the rhinoceros moves at least 20 feet straight toward a target and then hits it with a gore attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 9 (2d8) bludgeoning damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 15 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

  2. Body Slam. If a creature is flanking the rhinoceros, it may slam into the creature with its hind quarters. The creature must make a DC 12 Strength saving throw of be knocked back 5ft and be prone.


The body slam is my favorite ability. I’m not a huge fan of flanking, so go ahead and try to flank the rhino. His big old butt will knock right off your feet!

War Allosaurus

I wanted to add a dinosaur to the list and since everyone loves the T-Rex, that was my first choice. Problem was, the more I looked at the T-Rex, the more I realized it just wouldn’t work. In the same ‘family’ of dinosaurs was the allosaurus, and after reading about it and looking at the pictures, I realized that we could make that work.

The War Allosaurus has a special saddle that is more of a harness which is wrapped underneath the dinosaur and that the rider puts around their arms and legs. This gives the rider the freedom to swing his sword or shoot her crossbow and also prevents the rider from being dislodged when the allosaurus uses its pounce ability.

The War Allosaurus abilities and attacks are as follows:

  1. Pounce. If the allosaurus moves at least 30 feet straight towards a creature it can leap up to 10 feet towards a single target. That target must succeed on a DC 13 Strength saving throw or be grappled by the allosaurus.



  4. Tail Sweep. If a creature hits the allosaurus while flanking it, the allosaurus may use its tail to hit the creature. Target must succeed on a DC 12 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

The Pounce feature is one that a regular allosaurus has, but the war allosaurus has been trained to do so with a rider on its back. Being grappled by a dinosaur can’t be much fun, especially when there is someone riding it and swinging their warpick at you.

War Turtle

There is history with my old character and turtles, but that is a story for another time. You may notice that there are no flying mounts in this list, but I did decide to add a mount that can travel in and under water. Flying is overrated anyways, and if your realm is anything like earth, there is more water than there is land, so having a mount that can swim makes sense.

The war turtle has the following abilities:

  1. Hold Breath. The turtle can hold its breath for 20 minutes. (and hopefully you can too)

  2. Retreat. When dismounted, the turtle can pull its head and legs into its shell, giving the turtle an AC of 20.

  3. Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (3d6 + 4) piercing damage. The target must succeed on a DC 12 Strength saving throw or be grappled.


  5. Shell Protection When a creature makes an attack on the rider, the turtle's provides them with a +2 bonus to their AC. (Reaction)

Art Credit - Everton

Art Credit - Everton

Everyone knows that turtles have a very hard shell. This plays into the war turtle’s abilities in two ways. First, if the turtle is severely wounded, the rider can dismount and the turtle can defend itself by hiding its shell. Hopefully you’re not one of those jerk animal owners that would abandon it, but if you are, the turtle at least has a higher AC. The second way the shell is important is that it not only protects the turtle, but the rider. War turtles have had their shells modified so that when the rider gets on the specialized saddle, they slide their legs inside the turtle’s shell. This protection can give the rider a +2 to their AC.

So there they are, the War Mounts. They may cost a small fortune, but seriously, who wouldn’t want to go shell surfing on the back of a battle-trained turtle?

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War Mounts
Life of Pets II - Man's Best FriendHomebrewD&D playerChris CurranFri, 28 Jun 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/life-of-pets-ii-mans-best-friend5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5d1396c651c1e50001f1d292Dogs. Those lovable furry companions that bring joy into our lives, have the skills to do more than just provide your character will emotional support.As I wrote about in last week’s article, everyone in our current campaign has a pet of some sort except me. Mine is an animal companion - a worg named Worg. I do not consider her a pet as she follows me of her own free will and knows that she can leave whenever she wants to. My half orc is currently using her as a mount, and she fights along side us when it suits her. (She is a worg after all).

The pets are fun, as they add color to our game but not much else. Some have been trained to do certain basic things, but they don’t really provide any tangible benefits outside of love, companionship and emotional support. But what if they could? Let’s take a look at man’s best friend, the dog, and see how this pet can provide your character with actual in game benefits.

There are over 300 breeds of dogs. They can be broken down into seven major categories and each group has a skill or natural ability that is common within that group. The groups are as follows: (Credit - National Dog Show)

Terrier Group
All but two of the terriers evolved in the British Isles. The geography of the specific area (water, rocky terrain) helped to determine the exact duties of each breed, but it usually involved hunting vermin and varmints ranging from rats to badgers to otters and more. These are dogs of great determination, courage and self-confidence, with a great willingness to go to ground in search of its quarry.

Toy Group
Toy dogs have been around for centuries, and are bred for one purpose: to be companions for their humans. Many have been bred down from and still resemble their larger cousins.Their small size and portability make them ideal for city dwellers and those with limited space.

Working Group
While the uses and appearances of the dogs in the Working Group vary, most are powerfully built and intelligent, performing various tasks for their people. These dogs are working farm and draft animals. They guard homes and livestock, serve heroically as police and military dogs, security dogs, guide and service dogs and hunters.

Sporting Group
The invention of the gun led to the development of the sporting, or gun dogs, to aid in hunting upland game birds or waterfowl, performing at the direction of the hunter.While a number of these breeds perform more than one task, it is generally the duty of pointers and setters to point and mark game; for spaniels to flush game; and for retrievers to recover dead and wounded game.

Hound Group
Originally classified as sporting dogs because of their function as hunters, breeds in the Hound Group are of a great variety of size, shape and coat. Most of these breeds were developed to hunt somewhat independently for their humans, who usually followed on foot or on horseback as the hounds chased down the prey. This group informally consists of scent hounds, dogs that hunt by tracking a scent, and sight hounds, who spot their game and run it down.

Non-Sporting Group
The AKC originally registered dogs as either Sporting or Non-Sporting. Eventually, hounds and terriers were split from the Sporting Group, and the Toys and Working dogs were split off from Non-Sporting, with the Herding Group eventually splitting from Working. Today, the Non-Sporting Group is literally every breed that is left, resulting in a wide variety of sizes, shapes, hair, function and history.

Herding Group
Herding is a natural instinct in dogs that is seen in the wild. Humans have used that instinct to their advantage on farms and ranches with herding dogs who have the sole purpose of gathering and moving livestock from one place to another.

As you can see, each group has specific characteristics and functions. The breeds within each group can even have specialization within each group, as some dogs truly excel at what they do. With that in mind, I have created this homebrew that details what a certain group of dogs can provide to your character.

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While anyone can find a stray dog on the street, the ones listed are of pureblood (except the lovable mutt) and cost accordingly. One cannot just find a purebred German Shepard that is fully trained just wandering around. Breeders can be found in most large cities and the DM can choose what breeds the trainer may specialize in. It is extremely rare for a breeder to specialize in more than one group of dogs.

Breeding and training takes time and the cost is reflected in the skill set that the dog may be able to learn and the time that it will take. Each breed of dog is broken down into one of seven groups… eight if you include the Mutt. Some dogs take longer to train, but they usually have a wider range of skills available to them. Below is a list of the more common dogs in each group. Discuss with your DM if you are looking for a specific breed and find out what group they belong to.

Dogs Groups & Breeds

  1. Terrier - American Staffordshire, Bull, Fox, Rat, Russell

  2. Toy - Chihuahua, Poodle, Pug

  3. Working - Akita, Doberman, Rottweiler, Husky

  4. Sporting - Brittany, Labrador Retriever, Pointer

  5. Hound - Beagle, Bloodhound, Wolfhound

  6. Non-Sporting - Bulldog, Eskimo, Shiba Ina

  7. Herding - Collie, Corgi, German Shepard

Art Credit - Tanya Wheeler

Art Credit - Tanya Wheeler

The Mutt

Ahh, the lovable mutt. The dog that everyone loves but no one knows what they are. Mutts can be found in most big cities, sometimes traveling in packs, sometimes as loners. They have learned to fend for themselves and sometimes have skills that purebred dogs don’t. Mutts are usually wary of humanoids, but food is the great equalizer. If a player wants to have a mutt as a potential pet, they can make a DC 12 Animal Handling check to see if mutt is willing to befriend them. If the player makes the check, the DM will make a roll to see if they have any special abilities.

01-50 - No special abilities, other than loving you…as long as you have treats!

51-65 - +2 to all attacks on medium creatures or smaller. Life on the street has made some mutts skilled at defending themselves. They have to hunt and fight to survive, and therefore gain a bonus to their attack rolls.

66-85 - Advantage on Intimidation and Persuasion Checks. Some mutts would rather deal directly with humanoids to get food. Sometimes they use scare tactics, other times the try to look all cute and tug at the heart strings of people.

86-99 - Knows Sit/beg and 4 other basic abilities. Not all mutts have lived their entire lives on the street. Some have come from homes that, for one reason or another, got rid of the dog. Some families couldn’t afford the dog due to financial ruin, others are cruel bastards that kicked the dog out, and the worst of the worst may have abused the dog and it ran away (there is a special place in hell for those people). Some of the previous owners took the time to teach the mutt some basic skills and they use these skills in an attempt to look cute and get food.

00 - Speak common. Just for shits and giggles.

The Basics

All dogs have the ability to learn simple commands. Dog owners everywhere have at one time or another tried to teach their best friend some of these basic commands, with varying amounts of success. But training takes time, and you have to have some skills to teach your dog some of the harder ones. I borrowed the chart on basic skills from Stephen’s Downtime Days article. Since there are too many to list here, I attached the link so you can check them out.

Group Skills

As stated above, different groups of dogs have different skill sets. Dogs get certain bonuses depending on what group they belong to. I had a great time researching all sorts of dogs. The skills below are based on their history, training and how they have been utilized in the past and continue to be now.

Art Credit - Hanny Cnossen

Art Credit - Hanny Cnossen

  1. Terriers - These little dogs are rodents worst enemy. Trained to hunt down vermin, they can burrow through the earth and track them underground. This is their primary skill set. Therefore, these dogs get bonuses when it comes to hunting and killing tiny creatures. Spending a great deal of time in dungeons? Get yourself a terrier.

  2. Toy - The nobility of dogs. Sure, you have to carry them around in you purse (or satchel in the D&D world), but they are naturally charismatic and can charm the pants off of most people. They are the dog of choice for the nobility class.

  3. Working - The most functional of all dogs. These dogs do it all, but their primary purpose on this world (or whatever world your on) is being a guard dog. They are fiercely loyal and will protect their owner to the death. The breeds in this group are on average some of the largest dogs and therefore do a little more bite damage than the rest of the breeds. If you want a dog that will have your back, breeds in the working group are the dogs for you.

  4. Sporting - If you’re looking for a dog to help you hunt in the forest, breeds in the sporting group are your obvious choice….I’m looking at you rangers. Forests are their natural terrain and they are experts at finding and killing all sorts of beasts. They are also larger sized dogs (still medium size, but on the big side). The mastiff is a sporting dog, so this group also has the ability to serve as a mount for smaller humanoids.

  5. Hounds - Expert hunters. History tells us that many of the smaller hound breeds travel in packs, and when they do look out. These packs will tirelessly chase their prey, wearing them down until they are surrounded.

  6. Non Sporting - This group is a mish-mash of all the dog breeds that don’t fit into any other group. These dogs are usually loyal, cute and easily trained. If you need a friend who will love you unconditionally, get yourself a French bulldog. He’ll never leave you and will charm the pants off of all your friends.

  7. Herding - This group is the smartest of all dog groups. Herding dogs use their intellect to size up beasts and humanoids and can often sense what they are feeling. Dogs in this class are also great at gathering and separating groups of beasts; therefore herding dogs can disrupt any beasts that have the pack tactics ability.

Negative Effects & Flaws

Like all things in life, with the good sometimes comes a little bad. No matter how much you train some breeds of dogs they just can’t go against their natural instincts and can get themselves into a spot of trouble. They don’t mean to, but sometimes your best friend can cause headaches for you and your merry band of friends.

Terrriers, those cute little dogs with boundless energy may not realize just how loud they are as they are running through the forest looking for rodents. Stealthy they aren’t.

Toy dogs are prima donas who feel that their paws should never touch the dirty hard ground. They must be carried at all times (unless to do their business) and while small, will add 10 lbs. to your weight carried.

Sporting dogs can get so focused on hunting their prey, sometimes they look up and have no idea where they are. When chasing that tasty looking deer, they spend so much time watching the deer they have a chance to get lost in the forest. These breeds will be able to find their way back eventually, and hopefully you and your friends are waiting, and aren’t being attacked by a horde of kobolds.

Beagles sure are cute, but they will howl their asses off occasionally. Hounds are known for being loud dogs, especially when potential prey is around. So sometimes, just when you have fallen asleep after a long day of adventuring, they will wake you up when they start barking at that stupid squirrel.

Art Credit - Jerome Smith

Art Credit - Jerome Smith

Non sporting dogs are cute and loyal, but attack dogs they are not. When confronted by an enemy, they will cower and hide. Being loyal to their owner, they won’t run away, but loyalty has its limits and taking on the wolf bearing down on you is where they draw the line.

The DM can also decide to roll to give your dog a flaw, just like his owner probably has! Everyone has a flaw (most of us have a lot more than one) and dogs are no exception. Some dogs can be vicious towards strangers, some want to cuddle all day long, and others just like to pee on everything to mark it as theirs.

So there is it, the Dog. If you get a chance, go to GM Binder and take a look. In addition to everything above, you’ll find stat blocks for each group. Man’s best friend can be more than your friend… s/he can be a useful pet in D&D.

Art Header: Knight for Apples by AssasinMonkey

Life of Pets II - Man's Best Friend
The Life of Pets, Familiars and Animal CompanionsD&D playerChris CurranFri, 21 Jun 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/the-life-of-pets-familiars-and-animal-companions5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5d0a29495b425100012aabdbAnimal companions aren’t just for Rangers anymoreIn our current campaign, everyone has felt the need to get a pet. Why this phenomenon took place, I have no idea. Could it be the the giant wolf pet effect from GoT? Or maybe the jealously that the fighter class has felt all these years towards magic users and their silly little familiars finally bubbled over. What ever the reason, we now have a party of 10 as each of the 5 party members has an animal friend of some sort.

Me and my buddy Worg - Art by Alex Honeycutt

Me and my buddy Worg - Art by Alex Honeycutt

Our Druid’s best friend is a raccoon named Dash. This makes sense since she’s a Druid, but why it’s a trash panda I have no idea. Our Atavist has an undead bat as a familiar (please don’t even get me started on this, just go with it). Our Bard, apparently not satisfied with having fuck buddies all throughout the city, needed to adopt a cat to fill that emotional void inside her. Then we have the Warforged Cleric, who went full Tin Man on us and found a little baby chick to care for - he literally keeps it in his chest piece where a person’s heart would be.

As I said in a recent episode of our podcast, I did not want a pet. Of course, Stephen then set it up that my Half-Orc Samurai would find a worg. Instead of setting it free - it had been the mount for some goblins we had fought - I took her with me. That said, I refuse to call it a pet. It’s an animal friend that happens to live and hang out with me. I have enough pets in real life. We have two dogs, two cats and as Stephen would say, my two kids fall in this category. I don’t need a pet in the fantasy game I play in.

There are different types of animal friends that someone can have in D&D. I have broken down this discussion into three parts; animal companions, familiars & mounts and pets. This week I’m going to look at animal companions and what makes them unique.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind Animal Companions:
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GM Binder
Animal Companions

Animal Companions

Companions are different than pets. A pet implies ownership. An animal companion is a creature that travels with you of its own free will. The worg that travels with us, Worg (yes I named the worg Worg. I was inspired by Good Omens) is such an example. The Ranger beastmaster archetype gets a beast companion that bonds with you and won’t abandon you. This animal companion is under no such obligation to do so.

So let’s take a look at how the animal companion works. If your party comes upon a beast that it doesn’t attack - I know, fat chance that happens, but let’s pretend. Now this beast, Burt the brown bear, has lost his way and ends up near the outskirts of the city you are in. It’s lonely and confused and looks at you with more curiosity than hate. With its Keen Smell ability, it senses the jar of honey that the rogue stole for no other reason than he’s a rogue. Even though Burt is just a brown bear, he’s not an idiot. He knows if he attacks the rogue, the party will kill him, so he stares longingly at the pouch holding the honey. Our Druid, seeing an opportunity to make an animal friend, asks the DM if they can work with our buddy Burt.

Now just because we want a furry friend doesn’t mean we just get one. I’ve consulted with the best DM ever, Stephen, and this is what we’ve come up with to get us our friend, Burt, to hang out with us.

First, we are looking at this from a party standpoint, not as an individual character. The DM would call for an animal handling check by the party. Whoever has the highest bonus rolls. If they fall the check by 5 or less, the animal is wary of staying and will follow the party at a distance. If they fail the check by 10 or more, the animal will leave. Multiple party member can make animal handling checks, but if 2 or more characters fail their checks, the animal will leave.

So how do we determine the DC of the animal the party is trying to befriend? A DC 10 animal handling check seemed like the right place to start. But a DC 10 didn’t seem right for a camel on one hand and an eagle on the other. The DC is adjusted based on the beast’s Wisdom score, so our camel would be a DC 9 and our eagle would be more difficult at a DC 12. Intelligence was discussed as the modifier, but since these are mostly animals we are talking about, we thought it more important for the creature to be swayed by how they felt about the party (insight), versus the creature’s investigatory ability (Investigation).

Two final questions remain. How often does the party need to make a check to see if the animal will continue to travel with the party and what things would have an effect on the creature’s willingness to stick around.

Burt the brown bear - Art by Frankie Perezar

Burt the brown bear - Art by Frankie Perezar

The party should make a check whenever there is a serious change to the DC of the Animal Handling check, maybe there was a lot of combat that day that stressed the creature out, they’ve been traveling for weeks in the desert and the penguin wants to go back to glaciers or the party is fighting weird creepy things too often. I think it’s fair to say that Burt the brown bear would have to seriously think about staying with the party if they just fought a slew of kuo-toa. Of course, this is all up to DM’s discretion as to whether or not the party has a close enough bond with the animal to forgo a check. That said, there are also a number of things that can sway Burt to fight or run for the hills. I have attached a small chart in GM Binder to serve as a guideline of things that may have a positive or negative influence on our old friend Burt.

Once all of these things have been determined, your animal handling check will decide exactly what the companion will do while they are with you. Again, the chart found in GM Binder will list out what kind of actions the animal will take based on how well you roll. Animals are fickle creatures and they will not just lay their lives down for anyone. But if you and your party members have been treating Burt right (you know the Druid combs his fur out every night), he will stand next you in battle as one of the party, facing down that pack of tiny, ugly kobolds that deserve a painful death.

So, as I stated before, I have no desire to have a pet. But since Burt the Bear isn’t anywhere to be found, I am enjoying the company of our new companion, Worg… the worg.

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The Life of Pets, Familiars and Animal Companions
Way of the Faceless Men - A Monk SubclassD&D playerHomebrewChris CurranFri, 14 Jun 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/the-faceless-men-a-rogue-subclass5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cfd353556757600018a9c0fGoT may be over, but it can live on through the Faceless Men - Monk subclass!*The article below contains spoilers for GoT seasons 1-8.

Game of Thrones may be over, but it will live on in the minds and hearts of its legions of fans. It can also live on in D&D with the Faceless Man subclass. The season 5 plot involving the Faceless Men and Arya was my favorite part of GoT. Then I got a request to make a subclass from one of our Patrons (Thanks Stonie) and I was excited to give it a whirl.

To start, I had to decide what class to begin with. Rogue was the easy choice, but as I thought more about it, I didn’t want to remake the Assassin. The assassin’s disguise abilities wouldn’t do justice to the Faceless Men. The Bard’s Mantle of Whispers comes close, but the flavor of it came up short. Sure, I take quite a great deal from the Mantle, but there are a few subtle changes that, to me, make all the difference.

I landed on Monk, and the choice was met with cheers and jeers. I thought that many of the of the abilities that a Monk gets fit for the Faceless Men. Slow Fall - yep, seems like something they could do. Extra Attack - of course. Evasion, Stillness of Mind, Purity of Body - check, check, and check. Plus, we’ve all seen Arya do some pretty cool shit through the final seasons. Who couldn’t envision her doing what a Monk does.

The biggest question was how Ki fit into the Faceless Men subclass. My justification is that the Faceless Men have abilities that transcend what a normal assassin could do, but I didn’t want to use magic. In the books, the ability to steal someone face is done through a combination of blood magic and alchemy. I didn’t want to get into the whole blood magic thing, as that opened a rabbit hole I didn’t want to go down. So Ki was my replacement for magic.

The Faceless Men killing has meaning, as they serve the God of Many Faces and the kills are basically a tribute to him. Assassins take contracts for money and have been known to kill indiscriminately. In the novels, the Faceless Men also are a league of assassins, but their abilities go beyond that of a normal assassin. What finally convinced me that Monk was the way to go was after reading through the Training and Asceticism section of the Monk (PHB, pgs. 76-77). Read through it again. I hope you’ll understand why I went this route.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind the Faceless Men:
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Faceless Men Subclass
GM Binder

Assassin’s Blow

Being that the Faceless Men are a league of assassins, one would want to give them something akin to rogue sneak attack… but I was discouraged from doing so and the argument presented made total sense. I replaced a monkish sneak attack with something Stephen came up with which we call the Assassin’s Blow. Starting at 3rd level, when you hit a creature with an unarmed strike, you can expend a number of ki points to directly attack your target's weak spot and deal additional damage. The extra damage uses your Martial Arts die and for every ki point you expend, you roll that number of dice, to a maximum of 3 ki points. That’s a good amount of extra damage at lower levels. It scales well, as the maximum number of Ki points you can expend increases at 11th level to 4 ki points and at 17th level to 5 ki points.

It may not be as powerful as the Rogue’s sneak attack, but it does provide the subclass to inflict extra damage right off the bat. The part we both agreed upon was that it only applies to your unarmed strikes. Arya may have always used a dagger or her rapier, but I am sure that Jaqen H’ghar used his hands on more than one occasion to kill his enemy.

Tools of the Trade

I added the ability to use a scimitar and rapier based solely on my love for Arya, who uses a rapier throughout the series. A scimitar also seemed like a good fit.

Wearing Another’s Face

Wearing Another's Face is the core of the Faceless Men. While it’s an incredibly powerful skill, it made no sense to have to wait to level 11th to gain it. I mean, this is why you took the subclass in the first place! There was no way you get the ability off the bat either. So at 6th level, you gain the ability to wear another’s face. Per the description:

The Faceless Men's greatest ability is not only to be able to imitate another, but to steal their entire persona. At 6th level, you can take 10 minutes and expend 3 ki points to channel your ki, along with alchemical substances, to take on the persona of someone that you have killed. This ability may only be used to impersonate humanoids that are the same size as you.

You gain not only their face that your may now "wear" but also that person's height and weight, voice and all their memories, though none of their secrets. A person that is actively examining you may make a Wisdom (Insight) check contested by your Charisma (Deception) check. You gain a +5 bonus to your check. This ability lasts until your take a long rest or you end this ability early, furthermore you can only use the same 'face' once every seven days.

Control Your Senses

Remember when Arya is inflicted with blindness and has to learn how to fight without sight? It took her a while, but she was able to hone her other senses so that she no longer needed to see and still fight effectively. The scene where Arya extinguished the candle with her rapier and killed the waif in the pitch black was freaking awesome. That little bitch deserved it too.

At 11th level, you gain Blindsight. Darkvision isn’t a powerful enough skill to justify what the Faceless Men can do and Truesight was just too much. So blindsight it is!


Stephen and I have had many an argument over how Arya managed to kill the Night King. I claimed the she had mastered the ability to move silently and quickly and was able to zip by the White Walkers and attack the Night King. I loved the entire action sequence, and thought it was a fitting end to the Night King.

Stephen was annoyed with the whole scene. He wanted to know when Arya got the ability to teleport and that it was ridiculous how she could get past the army of White Walkers. So, this one if for you Stephen. Once you reach 17th level, you have the ability to Vanish. You may expend 5 ki points to teleport up to 30 feet and make an attack with advantage on an unsuspecting creature. When you land that awesome blow, you also get an additional 2d8 necrotic damage as you begin damaging their essence. The Faceless Men weren’t the best assassins in the land cause they could just stab people in the back!

There it is, the Faceless Men Monk Subclass. Please feel free to comment below, and if you have any ideas for a pop culture class/subclass you’d like to see, drop me line.

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Art Header: The House of Black and White by Donato

Way of the Faceless Men - A Monk Subclass
Artificer Q - Subclass for the ArtificerHomebrewArtificerChris CurranFri, 07 Jun 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/artificer-q5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cf71a92342c7a00014d743aWith the release of the Artificer 2.0, we’ve created a new subclass based off Q, the man behind all James Bond’s gadgetsThe Artificer was originally release in February, but in May it was updated. The Artificer 2.0 adds some cool new things, tweaked others and generally tightened up the earlier release. For a full review of the Artificer 2.0, listen to Episode 11 of the No INT Here podcast, where we review and compare the update to the older version.

I like the Artificer class, but have a hard time seeing many people playing it. They do some really cool things and have some unique abilities, but I just don’t know. The spells seem like a cheap attempt to get people to play the class, by making them a weak half caster. That said, I may just play one so I can get a turret, as that is one of the coolest things I have seen in a while. I envision the Artificer as an amazing NPC class, since they wouldn’t be counted to do much in battle but can supply the party with defensive measures and make them cool ass stuff.

The big adds in the update was the inclusion of two new archetypes, the Archivist and the Battle Master. Both of these new archetypes are cool in their own right, but they fail to address, in my opinion, one of the major issues with this class. Both new archetypes, just like the Alchemist and Artillerist, are defense based. The Artillerist description says that they “use (sic) magic to create explosions and defensive positions” and the Battle Smith says “Armies require protection, and someone has to put things back together if defenses fail.” What’s interesting is that these defensive creations are often used for offensive purposes, mainly to crush one’s enemies in a violent and explosive way.

This got me thinking - the Artificer is a tinkering wiz, who uses his skills to make incredible things and infuse them with magical properties. One of the greatest ‘tinkerers’ in movie history is Q, the genius behind all the James Bond gadgets. Technology is the magic of the real world, and Q’s gadgets were always using the latest technology to make more useful (and cooler) items for Bond to defeat his enemies with or escape from their evil clutches. Q could make weapons, give Bond tools to disguise or hide himself, and gadgets to assist in the escape of his inevitable capture. Reading through the different archetypes, they all had a piece of what make Q such a fascinating character, but none of them quite capture his flavor.

One big point of difference to note before we dive in is that the Q Artificer can let one other character use his creations, including the Clockwork Mount. Q didn’t make the car for himself, but for Bond. So, while Bond may not be in your party, I’m sure your fighter wouldn’t mind having one. Just don’t let the rogue too close to it.

So, here is the Q Artificer subclass for everyone to enjoy.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind the Q Artificer:
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Q Artificer Subclass
GM Binder

Tools of the Trade

Simply put, smith’s tools and tinker’s tools made the most sense to me for what he can create.


Q creates both offensive and defense gadgets. This is why, at each level, the spells are usually one of each. In the movies, Q’s creations can usually either help Bond out of a bind, or give him that crazy attack that his enemies never saw coming. Either through some sort of sneaky distraction or blowing something up, Q’s gadgets gave Bond that one extra edge every time. I would argue that the Counterspell is the magical equivalent of many of Bond’s crafty escapes where he uses the villain’s own deathly devices to escape; Live and Let Die, where he jumps on the crocodiles to escape being eaten, or in Goldfinger, where he uses the laser that is going to fry his testicles to break free of his restraints. And while it may not be a Cloud of Daggers, it seemed like almost every pen, watch or camera could shoot a dart or dagger at someone, just like the ski pole in A Spy Who Loves Me.

Clockwork Mount

The most iconic of all of Q’s inventions was the car he would create and that would inevitably be destroyed. Undeterred, he would create another one, with cooler and more specialized features. The Aston Martin is the James Bond car, but it is Q who makes it the amazing vehicle is is. Since we cannot have cars in D&D (I wish Descent into Avernus was out, as it is to have Infernal engines, which could have added a whole new dimension), the Q Artificer has the ability to create a clockwork mount that either he or one other character can ride. Sure, it’s no Aston Martin, but riding a robot construct shaped like a horse is pretty cool.

Crossbow bolts replace the rockets. You get a total of six, and they need to be reloaded every short rest. There was some debate on giving it a bite and or a claw attack. In the end, it was decided that a slam attack and the ability to knock someone prone fit better. Nothing like getting knocked around by hundreds of pounds of metal to ruin someone’s day.

As stated above, the mount can be “given” to another character to use. I know this breaks with Artificer tradition, but since in the movie the car was made by Q for Bond, I felt it matched the flavor we were looking for. Lastly, the mount lasts until it is killed. No deciding you don’t like Bob the mechanical horse and making Billy the Mastiff the next day. Trust in Bob, he’ll serve you right!


It seemed like every movie had smaller gadget that had some minor yet important feature that got our hero out of a scrape. From the Stun Gas cigarette in The Spy Who Loved Me to the Electromagnetic Ring in Diamonds are Forever, there was always some trinket that Q gave Bond in the early stages of the movie that was crucial late in the game.

Rings seemed like the most logical item here, since their aren’t many watches in D&D and we don’t want kids to smoke. At 6th level, you learn how to take any common ring and enhance it with a variety of special properties. After you finish a long rest and have your tinker tools, you can give any non magical ring one of the following properties:

Adrenaline - Minor healing to get you through the fight.

Escape tactics - How many times has Bond escaped certain doom.

Sleepy Time -Poison and knock out darts are a staple in the Bond universe.

Smoke Bomb - See The Spy That Loved Me.

Sneaky - How he gets in so many places is beyond me.

Winning Smile - I needed to add in Bond’s ability to seduce women and make friends somehow.

Remote Control

In Tomorrow Never Dies, Q made the car (a BMW…for shame) able to be controlled by remote control. This has been applied to the clockwork mount. At 14th level, you have been able to give your clockwork mount the ability to function on its own. It can now move and attack independent of you, but will always respond immediately to all direct commands it is given. Not only that, but you have also learned how to upgrade Bob the mechanical horse with some new features:

Multiattack - Two crossbow bolts at a time.

Upgraded Missiles - More missiles!

Poisonous Breath - They love gas almost as much as the darts.

So there it is, the Q Artificer. Have comments? Please feel free to let me know below.

Artificer Q - Subclass for the Artificer
Swords Suck - Alternative WeaponsHomebrewWeaponsChris CurranFri, 31 May 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/more-on-weapons5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cef1df14e674500016129adIn a follow up to last week’s articles, we’ll examine some homebrew weapons that aren’t swords.Last week, we discussed some of the Weapons that are, in my opinion, under appreciated in D&D. As a follow up to that, I wanted to create a few homebrew weapons I came up with this week, along with homebrew for some of the weapons we talked about last week.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind the Weapons:
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GM Binder

Warpick Variant

As stated last week, I’m not sure why the warpick doesn’t get more love. I’m sure one of the main reasons is that the absence of magical warpicks make it useless when you start getting all the fabulous magical swords. For new characters, however, it’s great. The warpick does a decent amount of damage and looks cool. Why don’t people take one when they are buying their starting supplies then? Maybe it’s because it only does piercing damage. Well, I’m here to solve that problem.

This warpick variant is primarily used as a hammer (1d8 damage), as the size of the “pick” has been reduced (now only doing 1d6 damage) and the hammer head has been enlarged. Both sides can be used to inflict damage on your foes, so no more issues when you’re fighting an annoying Xorn that is resistance to (non-magical) piercing damage.

Barbed Net

This is one of my favorites and I think would put the net on the map. The barbed net is similar to the net found in the PHB, except that it now has small barbed hooks looped into its netting. When a creature is hit by the net, tens of those little hooks attach themselves to the target doing damage, where the normal net causes no damage. Sure, the damage is minimal (1d4), but damage isn’t the true purpose of a net.

The target is still restrained, and it’s now harder to remove the net. The target trapped in the net cannot remove it themselves and they have limited to no mobility due to the hooks that have imbedded themselves into the creature. Another creature can remove the net, but it is slightly harder to do so (DC 12 Strength check), once again due to the hooks. It’s made even nastier since the creature caught in the net will now take damage (2d4) when the net is removed, as all the hooks will tear out little bits of flesh as they are pulled on. If you want to take the time to remove the next without taking damage, it will cost the creature an action, so you’ll get another chance to beat them senseless.

Finally, the barbed net can be cut open just as a normal net can, but it will not just fall off. Dealing 5 slashing damage to the net (AC 10) will open the net, however it will still be attached to the creature by those pesky hooks. Such creatures will no longer be restrained but have it's movement reduced by half and any action that require intense physical movement (ie. swinging a sword) will result in the creature taking an additional 1d4 damage. Long story short, adding some hooks to a net makes it a whole new weapon, and one that my character wants.

Collapsible Baton

This collapsible metal baton is small and easily hidden when collapsed, and can be quickly whipped out and extended with a sharp downward motion. Once extended, it is locked into place by a spring loaded mechanism. Once this happens, you can start beating your opponent to death with it. The baton is nothing fancy, and doesn’t do a lot of damage (1d4), but its ability to be concealed makes it a weapon to take a look at.


Fans of Star Trek will immediately recognize the Klingon handheld weapon. A double sided weapon, it has a long curved blade on one side, with up to 4 sharp metal points and up to three handholds on the other. It is a fairly light weapon, and is meant to be used in a fluid twisting motion.

Another weapon that has the potential for two types of damage, it is commonly used by swinging the large front blade in graceful sweeping arcs with one hand. As a two handed weapon it’s commonly used to deliver a downward chopping motion, or a thrusting motion causing piercing damage. This type of attack is usually to coup de gras, and is a violent end to your opponent for sure.

Glaive Boomerang

When one thinks of the glaive in DnD, they picture the pole arm weapon. There are two types of glaives, and this is the other one, which is basically a large throwing star. This ranged weapon has three large curved blades on it and when thrown has the same return properties as a boomerang. On top of that, it does excellent damage (1d8), and the opportunity to use it multiple times as a ranged weapon with no loading properties or decrease in your inventory make it a weapon to think about.

Plus, it was in the classic 80’s movie Krull. Enough said.

Tekko-Kagi (or Hand Claws)

Like most nerds my age, I was a big fan of kung fu/ninja movies when I was a kid. Enter the Dragon was one of my favorite movies, and I must have watched it 100 times. Bruce Lee was a martial arts savant and it can be argued that all other martial art movie stars since his untimely death have borrowed from him in one way or another.

In the final battle scene the BBEG slashes away at Lee with a giant claw “hand” he attached to his arm. This is Tekko-Kagi, except normally you hold onto it via a leather or metal strap that you slip over you hand and grip. You can use one, and if you have the ability to dual wield, wear two if you so choose. If you decide to go that route, you have the chance to release your bear spirit animal and maul someone to death. Just don’t let them fool you into stopping your attack if they try to play dead.

Two Handed Mace

In the movie Conan the Destroyer, the character Bombatta swings a huge two handed mace around in circles to keep her foes 10 feet away from her. It was a great scene from a not so great movie. The two handed mace qualifies as a pole arm, a two handed weapon with reach. It’s pretty straightforward, and this weapon now gives you the ability to crush someones skull from a distance.

So there it is folks, some new weapons you can hopefully convince you DM to let you use in your campaign. They may not be as flashy as swords, but you can sure beat the living crap of some kobolds with them.

Swords Suck - Alternative Weapons
There’s Other Weapons Besides SwordsD&D playerChris CurranFri, 24 May 2019 13:19:54 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/theres-other-weapons-besides-swords5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5ce1da689df43b00012af908We all love swords, but that doesn’t mean we should all use swords.The most iconic weapon in D&D is the sword. That doesn’t mean that other weapons aren’t used, but the sword is far and away the weapon used the most. You’ve got your Shortsword, Longsword and Greatsword, and they cover the bases for weapon properties. The shortsword is a finesse and light weapon doing 1d6 damage, the longsword a versatile weapon doing 1d8 damage, and the greatsword is your two-handed weapon doing 2d6 damage. So if you don’t know what weapon to take, there is always a sword that will fit your needs.

Maybe you are playing a class or race that doesn’t like pointy weapons. Clerics use maces, Dwarves got hammers, Wizards got their staves, and Elves got their traditional weapons of bows. Now I know these are stereotypes, but it’s one of those things that have stuck throughout the editions. There is nothing wrong with tradition. But with so many weapons available, why not spread your wings and try something new.

There are a couple issues/deterrent with wanting to use non traditional weapons. Some people think that there is no difference in what weapon you use. Sure, my character can only use finesse weapons, so I’ll just take the weapon with the highest potential damage. That limited thinking prevents adding fun and flavor to you hero. On top of that, with the advent of custom miniatures, you can have a truly original looking mini if you try one of the more obscure weapons.

Another argument is that why bother with obscure weapons when most magic items are “standard” weapons…swords, maces, hammers, etc. Sure, you have your Javelin of Lightning and Trident of Fish Command (now known as the Aquaman Trident), but these are few and far between. Again, that’s limited thinking. A DM worth his salt will be creative and make some homebrew items if the player really wants a unique weapon. Maybe they will allow the weapon to be imbued with runic gems to give them magical properties. No matter how it happens, you are only limited by your (and the DM’s) imagination and creativity.

So here are some weapons I would like to see used more of, and if you and your DM broaden your minds a bit, there is a ton of potential for them.

War Pick

The war pick is another weapon that if you look at the picture, you can see the potential for it depending on the situation. Now that potential is limited by the description in 5e, but talking to your DM may unlock the fun of the fantastic weapon known as the war pick.

The 5e version does 1d8 piercing damage, and is one of the few weapons with no properties listed. It is a handheld weapon with a long handle, a slightly curved blade on one side and a ‘hammer’ on the other. It’s that hammer side of the war pick that I wish was shown some more love. A player should have the option to hit with either end of the war pick, dealing piercing or bludgeoning damage based on the type they want/need to attack with. I understand that the hammer isn’t going to do the same damage as a warhammer (1d8) based on its size, but why not 1d6 bludgeoning damage? Having a weapon versatile enough to have two types of damage would be neat to have and the possibilities for a magical homebrew item are only limited by one’s imagination. Maybe only the hammer has magical abilities. Could one side be powerful, but the other be cursed? There seems to be so much potential with this weapon, I think it deserves another look.


Listed as a special weapon in the DMG (pg. 148), it’s pathetic. It does no damage, and anyone hit with it only needs to make a DC 10 Strength check or do 5 points of slashing damage to break free. Now it does restrain the creature it is used on, but given the stats above, the creature will not be restrained for very long.

Based on the simple description its given, and the properties it has, I’m tempted to say it shouldn’t even be classified as a weapon. It sounds more like an item that should be listed under adventuring gear. It’s usages seems to be like that of a flask of oil or ball bearings… items that players usually forget about, only using in very specific circumstances (like we discussed on our podcast when the players try to burn the Sea Ghost in Saltmarsh). The net as described seems more like an item you’d use when you are trying to subdue a creature so you can question it and find out where all that glorious treasure is.

So how do we make the net a weapon? In doing some research for the Sahuagin Deep Dive, I came across a net that did damage in one of the editions. This was a barbed net, and while it didn’t do a ton of damage, it did do 1d4 damage per round, and made it more difficult to escape from. Simply put, the net was covered in small little hooks (I envision a net covered with small barbed fish hooks). On a successful hit with the net, the hooks attach themselves to the creature doing 1d4 points of damage and the creature is restrained. Armor type is important here, since the hooks have little effect on someone wearing plate, but if your gnome wizard with no armor is trapped by a net, it’s an issue.

Escaping from the net is made harder now, as you can no longer simply shrug off the net since it is attached to you. Someone could pull the net off you, but that would incur additional damage from the hooks. The net can still be cut, but it would still be attached to the creature. I would argue that the creature is no longer restrained, but would incur some disadvantage of some sort, maybe just disadvantage on attack rolls or they take 1d4 points of piercing damage if they move more than half their speed in a round. Now the net goes from an inconvenience to a serious problem.

The net is definitely not a traditional weapon. You don’t swing it and you’re not hitting someone to do typical damage. That doesn’t mean you should disregard the net. If used in a original fashion, the net can be a fun, inventive weapon that players can use to capture instead of kill. That may confuse your normal murder hobo players, but for thoughtful player, a net can be a cool item to have.


The flail was used a lot in my old campaigns. It was the fallback weapon for the cleric if he didn’t want to use a mace or hammer. I don’t see many flails out there today and it makes me wonder why. Sure, it’s basically a mace head attached to a chain, but, once again, it has potential to be so much more.

The standard flail has historically had a small wooden or metal handle, usually 1-4 feet long, to which is attached a length of chain. The chain length varies but can be anywhere from a few links of chain to several feet long, at the end of the chain is usually attached a metal spiked ball. Sometimes the bludgeoning part of the weapon is a flange mace head or metal weights with which you hit your sworn enemy with. Basically it’s a stick with chain attached to it, with a large piece metal at the end that you hit people with.

Yep, that’s actually a flail - offered by Outfit4Events

Yep, that’s actually a flail - offered by Outfit4Events

In D&D, the flail is a martial weapon that does 1d8 of damage. The mace is only a simple weapon that does a 1d6, so while you may not be able to use a flail, if you can use martial weapons, the bump in damage is nice.

Where one could have fun with the flail is when you find one that has a 4 foot handle and another 3-4 feet of chain. Now we’re talking a weapon with reach. The flail in the picture is over 6 feet in total length. That makes it around the same size as the traditional halberd and only slightly shorter that the glaive. Is it possible to give this weapon reach? Possibly. Something of this length does fit the length of a weapon that would normally have reach, but it would be up to you and your DM to discuss.


Indiana Jones was a bad ass, and part of the reason why was because he had a whip. The problem with the whip is….well, it just sucks. Sure you have range, but it only does 1d4 damage. So maybe it could be used as an off hand weapon to give you the reach advantage on a second attack if its available to you, but beyond that, why bother?

My biggest problem with the whip isn’t that it doesn’t do much damage, but that you have no chance to do any of the other cool things we’ve all seen whips do in the movies. Where’s my chance to knock that gun out of my opponents hand with a ear splitting crack that leaves them disarmed and holding their throbbing hand? Or what about using the whip to grapple your opponent, pulling them in so your allies can attack them with ease? None of these properties exist in the Player’s Handbook or the Dungeon Master’s Guide and that stinks.

Looking around, the whip has inspired some decent homebrew, some of which capture what I am looking for in the whip. There are specialized whips, whips whose sole purpose is to restrain a creature or even swords that can change into chain whips to give the players reach and damage. There are even feats that give you the ability to grapple and disarm your opponent. It’s a shame that 5e doesn’t provide these properties in the core rules, but if you look around, and your DM is open to it, the whip can become a very effective and useful weapon in the hands of a skilled character.

Got a weapon you’d like to see used more? Put it in the comments below!

There’s Other Weapons Besides Swords
Spike Spiegel - A Cowboy Bebop Rogue SubclassChris CurranFri, 17 May 2019 13:21:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/spike-a-cowboy-bebop-subclass5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cd0a26e4c5b030001248c1cSpike Spiegel is an iconic character from anime. The Cowboy Bebop star has long been a favorite of mine, and it’s about time he got his own subclass!Spike Spiegel is arguably the best bounty hunter in the known universe. The blue suit wearing, chain smoking, former assassin for the Syndicate is one of the most beloved characters in anime. He is so much more than just a Bounty Hunter. The label may be correct in terms of what he does for a living, but his character is so deep and he has so many more skills than the other bounty hunters, we shouldn't play him as just a Bounty Hunter, but as a much more complex character.

Should it be a class in and of itself, or a subclass? Rogue or Ranger? Spike has so many traits of so many classes - Bounty Hunter, Assassin, Monk, Gunslinger, Ranger, it was hard to decide what to do. I even thought of adding a dash of the Bard, since Spike had some pretty funny one liners throughout the episodes. I landed on making it a subclass. Now I had to decide what it was going to be a subclass of. There are so many Bounty Hunter subclasses out there, do we really need another? Yes, because Spike Spiegel deserves his own! Reading through many of the Bounty Hunter descriptions, they all seemed to have some elements of Spike, but nothing quite captured is essence.

So where to start. Spike is not your typical 5e bounty hunter. He has a past, and I can tell you it was definitely not a ranger. I understand why people would use this class as the base for their creation, since they can do all sorts for dumb ranger things, like track people and creatures. But Spike wasn’t fucking Aragorn in his previous life. He was a bad ass, stone cold killer. So then fighter or rogue? Well, it’s true that Spike was an assassin for the syndicate before he left that life. I really wanted to make him a fighter subclass, but the more and more I thought about it, the abilities that the rogue gets as they level up makes more sense. So rogue it is.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind the Winchester Hunter:
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Spike Spiegel Bounty Hunter
GM Binder


Spike’s weapon of choice was a nine millimeter, which obviously translates into being proficient in firearms. It would have been fun to have done a subclass for Spike’s arch enemy Vicious, as his weapon of choice is a sword. But since we are talking about Spike, firearms is what you become proficient in.

The Hunted

Also at 3rd level, you get a modified version of the Ranger’s tracking ability. In Cowboy Bebop, Spike hunted down mostly humanoids but it can be argued that a few of the people he attempted to collect the bounty on were magical creatures of some sort, but in really they were still humanoid. Therefore Spike gets two choose two humanoid races to be his favored enemy. Wisdom for tracking and Dexterity for sneaking up on the bounty works well here. Finally, you get to add one additional favored enemy at 9th and 15th levels.

Strike Fast

For anyone that has watched the show, they know Spike can fight like Bruce Lee in close quarters. He is just as good in hand to hand combat as he is with a gun, possibly even better. The fight scenes in the show were amazing. The animation was so far ahead of its time (and still better than some of the anime crap that is out there now) that the scenes were detailed, fluid and beautiful to watch. The crazy ninjitsu that Spike would use in the show was basically the Monk’s Martial Arts skill. I didn’t want to create a whole new skill set (that’s Stephens forte), so the using the Monk skill with a few minor tweaks made sense.

Gettting the Jump on Them

The element of surprise is important for any bounty hunter. Spike would seemingly appear out of nowhere and get the jump on his quarry. Sometimes he would act the fool, with his opponent underestimating him and getting the crap kicked out of them. Sure, sometimes it went horribly wrong, but that makes for good TV. The opening of the movie is a good example. Spike plays the idiot when he walks in on the people he is hunting, and he (along with Jet) take them down quick. Of course they didn’t realize that one of the bad guys was in the bathroom, but Spike was able to drop him with one well placed gunshot. At 13th level, you gain advantage on your initiative rolls, and for good measure you can’t be surprised.

Take Them Down

Spike could usually take his opponent down with one crippling strike, either from his gun or some crazy karate chop. Sure, I know you’re thinking, “Why not use that strike first and end the fight right there?” First, it’s a TV show and we want our action scenes. Second, you have to wear your opponent down a little bit before the attack will be truly effective. At 17th level, you gain the ability to land a critical hit on any one attack. You can use this ability equal to your Dexterity modifier per long rest.

There it is, the Spike Spiegel Bounty Hunter Rogue Subclass. Please feel free to comment below, and if you have any ideas for a pop culture class/subclass you’d like to see, drop me line.

Header Art: Cowboy Bebop - Adult Swim

Spike Spiegel - A Cowboy Bebop Rogue Subclass
No More Pizza - Easy Recipes for Your SessionChris CurranFri, 10 May 2019 13:04:08 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/no-more-pizza-easy-recipes-to-make-for-your-session5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cd0d5be4e17b6053073032fYou can’t play D&D on an empty stomach. Here are a few simple recipes that anyone can make and everyone will love.It’s game night. You’ve been waiting all week for everyone to come over and spend 4 hours rolling dice, using funny voices and trying not to get your character killed. Hunger sets in pretty quickly and what happens? You order pizza like you do every week and everyone sits around grabbing a slice of semi warm pizza, wondering how much takeout one person can eat. The game stops so you can pay the delivery guy, open the boxes, grab your slice and settle back in (ok, most of the time its prepaid these days but you get what I mean). Now, people are munching away, there’s no more funny voices, and your character sheet is all greasy.

What if you decide to make something before the people arrive? You can snack, eat and catch up prior to the game starting and then be able to focus with a full stomach and no interruptions. I know it’s a novel idea, and many of us love pizza and will never get sick of it, but it’s time to open your minds to change. Plus, now you don’t have to use your character sheets as napkins for your greasy fingers.

“But I can’t cook” is the usual refrain I hear when this is brought up. Below are some easy recipes that just about anyone can make. Sure, you have to go the grocery store and know how to turn on an oven, but trust me, it’s better than one more session of crappy takeout food.

Queso and Chips

Yes, you can buy the pre-made goo at the Circle K. But this old but goody doesn’t take long and is really, really good. It’s super easy and lasts forever. That’s the beauty of Veleeta!


• One 16 oz package of Veleeta Cheese, cut into small cubes
• One 10 oz can of Rotel Diced Tomatoes and Green Chiles
• Tortillas Chips


1. In a large pot, mix Velvet cheese cubes and Rotel on medium low heat (Do not drain the Rotel).
2. Stir often until the cheese has melted, around 6-8 minutes.
3. If too thick, add 2-4 tablespoons of milk or beer and stir
4. Pour into bowl. Eat.

White Bean and Asparagus Toasts

For the vegetarian in the group… or just people that need more vegetables in their life. It’s surprisingly good, and while most of us would rather eat queso, you should really try them. How often do we eat healthy? This is your opportunity!


• 1 loaf of French Bread
• 1 15oz can of White Beans (Cannellini Beans)
• 1 lb Asparagus, bottoms trimmed
• 4 tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2 cloves garlic
• Zest from 1 lemon
• Juice from 1/2 a lemon
• Salt and Pepper


1. Slice bread in 1/2 inch thick slices
2. Heat oven to 425 degrees. While warming toss the asparagus, 2 tablespoons of olive oil and salt and pepper in a bowl and spread out on a baking sheet.
3. Roast asparagus from 11-13 minutes
4. While asparagus is roasting, put beans, lemon zest, lemon juice, and remaining olive oil in a bowl. Grate garlic (or go easy and buy diced garlic). Mash beans till mixture is roughly combined
5. Remove asparagus and cut in half
6. Toast bread
7. Build - One spoonful of bean mixture on each toasted bread. Place 4 pieces of asparagus on top of beans. Eat.

Mexican Pie

As you may have noticed, we love Mexican Food. This is an easy throw together that only takes a total of 10 minutes to make and makes quite a bit!


• 2 cups crushed tortilla chips (or Doritos)
• 1 pound ground beef
• 1 packet of Taco Seasoning
• 1 can chili beans (optional)
• 1 - 16 oz container sour cream
• 1 - 14 oz can diced tomatoes, drained
• 1 - 14 oz jar of mild jalapeños
• 2 cups cheddar cheese (grating your own is better, but you can buy pre-shredded if you’re lazy)


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Spread crushed tortilla chips along the bottom of a greased 9 x 9-inch baking dish.
3. Brown the ground beef in a medium skillet; drain. Add taco seasoning and simmer for ten minutes.
4. Add in the can of tomatoes and beans (if using). Pour and spread over the tortilla chips.
5. Spread sour cream over the meat mixture.
6. Top with cheddar cheese and jalapeños.
7. Bake, uncovered, for 30 minutes. Eat.

Fried Rice

The hardest thing about this is remembering to make the rice the night before. The best thing about fried rice is you can subtract many of the items on their list and/or add in things you have leftover in your fridge… like Doritos. It’s also a great way to get rid of the leftover chicken breast that you’ll find in the back of the fridge two months from now.


• 2 cups of White Rice
• 1 to 2 tablespoons Vegetable Oil (depending on how dry your rice is)
• 1 egg
• 2 - 3 tablespoons Soy Sauce (to taste)
• 1/4 cup diced onions
• 1/4 cup diced carrots
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• Salt and Pepper
• Any cooked protein you have around; this includes meats like chicken or beef; protein substitutes like tofu or black beans; and anything else you can think of


1. Cook rice the night before (Steamed works best, but however you want to make your rice is fine). Put rice in the refrigerator uncovered overnight.
2. When ready to cook, heat frying pan or wok over medium heat. Add 1 tablespoon of oil.
3. Break up rice with you hands and put into pan, if needed add additional oil. Stir.
4. After about 2-3 minutes, add peas, carrots, onions, or whatever vegetables you have decided upon. Stir and cook for 5 more minutes.
5. Make a small hole in middle of rice so you can see the pan. Crack egg into the hole and cook for 2 minutes or until cooked. Mix the egg into the rice.
6. If you are using any protein, cut into small pieces or shred and add after step 5.
Add soy sauce. Stir together well.
7. Eat.

One Pan Pasta Bacon Ranch Parmesan Pasta

There are a million ways to cook one pan pasta. This one is a little different and doesn’t involve pouring a bottle of tomato sauce on top of cooked pasta. This is a great dish to make if you don’t want a bunch of dishes afterward.


• 6 pieces of Bacon
• 1 tablespoon of Olive Oil
• 1 tablespoon of Butter
• 1 1/4 cups of Milk
• 3 cloves Minced Garlic
• 2 cups of Chicken Broth
• 1 box Spaghetti
• 1/3 cup Parmesan Cheese
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 1 packet Ranch seasoning


1. Cook bacon in pan until crisp. Remove and wipe down pan. Return pan to heat.
2. Add olive oil, butter and garlic to pan. Stir and cook for 1-2 minutes
3. Add chicken broth, milk and pasta. Stir and bring to a boil.
4. Reduce heat and stir until pasta cooked through, about 8-10 minutes
5. Stir in Parmesan cheese, sour cream and ranch seasoning
6. Crumble bacon on top of pasta and stir.
7. Put it in your mouth faster than anyone else so you can get seconds before it’s all gone.

Chili for Dummies

Chili an easy throw together. I know summer is coming soon and people think of chili as a winter food, but chili is good all year long. If you like spicy chili, add a 1/2 tablespoon of your favorite hot sauce to the recipe. If you don’t have a slow cooker, you can just put in a large pot and let it simmer on the stove for 2-3 hours. This is a fantastic recipe that is fairly cheap and can serve a lot of people.


• 2 lbs ground beef
• 1 cans (14 oz) of diced tomatoes
• 1 chopped onion
• 1 chopped green pepper
• 2 cloves minced garlic
• 1 can kidney beans
• 3-4 tablespoons of chili powder
• 1 teaspoon cumin


1. Add beef, onion, green pepper and garlic to a pot over medium heat. Stir until meat is browned
2. Drain grease from pan. Add meat mixture to a slow cooker
3. Add remaining ingredients to slow cooker and stir
4. Cook for 4 hours on high setting
5. Serve with cheddar cheese and cornbread.

Game nights don’t always have to include greasy take out food, and eating before the game is a great way to bond with others in your group, though just make sure you make enough so there are no arguments over who gets the last of the Mexican Pie!

Art Header Credit: Troll by Jan Ditlev

No More Pizza - Easy Recipes for Your Session
Demon Killing Brothers - The Winchester Hunter Subclass for the FighterPlayer PerspectiveD&D playerChris CurranFri, 03 May 2019 15:28:10 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/demon-killing-brothers-the-winchester-hunter-subclass5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cc10b78e4966bdef42dda91Everyone’s favorite demon killing brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, are featured in this week’s homebrew, The Winchester Hunter Subclass. DS_SupportPatreon.png

So this fighter subclass should have been a no-brainer. I’m a little disappointed in myself that it took me so long to think up a subclass for Sam and Dean Winchester. Supernatural has been one of my favorite shows over the past decade, and it’s about time someone made a homebrew for them. That someone is me.

Supernatural has been around for 14 seasons, and this upcoming 15th season will be its last. The Winchester brothers, along with an assortment of supporting characters throughout the show, have been fighting demons, devils, undead, gods, and anything else you can think of that is from earth, heaven, hell, purgatory, etc. Unfortunately for the Winchester’s friends, none have survived very long. Sure, Castiel is still around, but he is an angel after all, which is not to say a countless number of angels haven’t died. Castiel is the Winchesters best friend, source of reason, and guiding light (Unless he’s God or filled with Leviathans). They also had to fight some pretty evil people through the series, but a majority of the abilities listed below focus on fiends and the undead.

The biggest issue in making this subclass was, after 14 seasons, there were so many directions you could go and so many abilities you could give the subclass. I gave some thought to adding additional fighter attack/damage bonuses since they spend so much time fighting. I also thought about a taunt like ability, since Dean can piss off even the most calm and serene of people. A resurrection ability was on the table too, because we all know how many times the brothers have come back from the dead. In the end, the following abilities are where I landed, and I tried to make sure that the traits of both brothers were included throughout the progression of levels.

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Winchester subclass
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Hunter Spells

At 3rd level, you gain the ability to use your divine knowledge to use a limited set of spells from the Cleric spell list. I had to make a couple tweaks to what would normally be viewed as the Eldritch Knight subclass. First, only being able to learn Abjuration and Divination to start spells fits into the flavor what I was trying to accomplish. Conjuration was originally on the starting list, since the Winchesters summon everyone from minor demons to Death himself (or herself after they kill death), but it just didn’t feel right. Once the characters reach higher levels, they do gain the ability to pick from all the schools of magic. Experience does come with its benefits after all. There was some discussion about using Paladin spells instead of Cleric spells, but the Winchesters weren’t exactly Holy Warriors, and the only oath they took was to each other.

The other adjustment made was that their spell casting ability is based on Intelligence and not Wisdom. I fought long hard hard with Stephen about this. He believes that their magic powers came from a divine power, hence wisdom. I see how in the last 4-5 season that can be argued. I went more old school, (season 1-6) and said that their “spell casting” ability came from study, much like a wizard. How many times did we see the boys spend hours and hours of study, usually by Sam, while Dean ate crappy food and looked at Asian porn? Oh, and since it’s my subclass, I got final say. So if you think it should be wisdom, put that in the comments below. It will make Stephen feel superior and lord it over me. (Joking aside, a quick thank you to Stephen for helping me with this, as he does with all my articles)

Speak with the Devil

This one is pretty straight forward. In the show, the boys could talk to every single fiend they came across. I’m pretty sure that not all of them spoke English, but who wants subtitles on your favorite show? Being able to speak Abyssal and Infernal makes it easier for those players, who are playing the role of Dean, to insult the fiends until they fly into a rage.

I See You

At 7th Level, as a bonus action, you can get advantage to all saving throws as long as you can see the creature. Once the creature disappears from you sight, or you hit a different creature, you can say goodbye to your advantage.

Looking back at some of the older episodes, the Winchesters got their asses kicked when they couldn’t get a line of sight on the creature they were fighting. Sure, they got their asses kick almost every week, but they really struggled with those beings that could pop in and our of their view. They always figured out a way to negate this effect by keeping the creature visible, trapped on the material plane, or limiting the creature’s ability to teleport. Once they were able to do that, victory was theirs. So being able to see the creature equals good things for the Winchesters, which in turn equals good things for you.

Well Sam, I think I Know What We Are Dealing With Here (It’s not the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man)

At 10th level you have spent so much time fighting fiends and undead, that you gain an innate sense to tell when they are nearby. As an action, you can learn the location of any fiend or undead within 60 feet of you, unless they have total cover.


Hell/Heaven Wants You Back

At 15th level, The Hunter has the tools at his disposal to return all fiends and celestials whose Challenge Rating is equal to or less than one fourth your Fighter level (rounded up). This means that at 16th level, you can target a CR 4 celestial or fiend.

As an action, one fiend or celestial that can see or hear you must make a Charisma saving throw against your spell save DC. On a fail, they are returned to their home plane, and cannot return for 24 hours. You may use this ability once per long rest.

After the first couple of seasons, when it became blasé for the Winchester to just fight the traditional creatures that go bump in the night, the boys started to fight demons and deal with a host of assbutt celestials. So what did they do? They learned how to banish them, whether by casting out the demons from their host bodies, or zapping them back to where the came from. Problem was, those same creatures usually came back in a later episode really annoyed. How many times did they banish Crowley back to Hell, only for him to show up next episode?

The Arrival of Castiel

Starting at 18th level, you can summon a celestial of CR 5 or lower. This being will be friendly towards you and your friends, and will remain with you for 24 hours. The celestial being will not take commands or sacrifice itself for the party, but will fight along side the party to the best of its abilities. Once you have used this ability, roll a 1d6 to determine how many days it takes before you can use it again.

Castiel was introduced in the 1st episode of season 4, bringing Dean back from Hell after he was shredded by a bunch of hellhounds. Since then, he was been a fan favorite and permanent fixture in Supernatural. Sure, he goes to the dark side every so often, but he always comes back to save Sam and Dean. So, I wanted the Hunter to be able to summon a best friend like the Winchesters have in Castiel, hence the ability.

So there it is, the Winchester Hunter subclass. I know there are a ton of passionate Supernatural fans out there and not all will agree with how this was built. I look forward to constructive criticism, as it can only make our products better in the future!

Art Header Credit: Supernatural - Winchester Brothers by thirtyARTsix

Demon Killing Brothers - The Winchester Hunter Subclass for the Fighter
Why are we always hitting things - Other action optionsD&DD&D playerChris CurranFri, 26 Apr 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/why-are-we-always-hitting-things-other-action-options5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cc10d0ee2c483cbbd6a1e26Sometimes, your action can be used for more than just hitting something…In the heat of battle, most players want to attack the creature that is currently their sworn enemy. Either through melee attacks or casting a spell, players are constantly focused on hitting the monsters over and over again until it dies.

But why are we so limited in our thinking? There are so many other things we as players can do other than just swinging our swords or casting fireball. Players are so obsessed with standing toe to toe with a monster that many times they die in the process. So today, we are going to take look at other actions in combat that players can do. Some are actions we use all the time, some we forget about until its too late, and I’ve included new actions that you might have thought of, but were too afraid to ask to do.

I use these all the time.


Disengage - If you take the Disengage action, your movement doesn’t provoke opportunity attacks for the rest of the turn. (pg. 192 PHB).

Those these are two of the most common actions used outside of attacking. They usually have opposite roles in combat, as dash is used to catching up to something so that you can hit it, while disengage is used when you realized you made a grave error in judgement and should run way.

I’ve heard of them.

Hide - When you take the Hide action, you make a Dexterity (Stealth) check in an attempt to hide, following the rules in chapter 7 for hiding. If you succeed, you gain certain benefits, as described in the “Unseen Attackers and Targets” section later in this chapter.

”Only Rogues should hide” is what a few people have told me. That’s bullshit. No one wants to seem like a coward and say they are going to hide, however, hiding doesn’t mean you’re running away. Hiding can give you and your party a tactical advantage. Don’t think of it as running away, but as using strategy to kill all those little murder hobo kobolds.


I’ve never seen dodge used. I understand why. If you are worried about getting hit, why not just disengage as your action and move away. Well, there are a couple simple reasons I can think of. If the creature has a ranged attack, moving away may not help you from getting attacked, which doesn’t help when your at low HP. When you know your friends are coming to assist you (hopefully), the dodge action may be your best choice

Help - You can lend your aid to another creature in the completion of a task. When you take the Help action, the creature you aid gains advantage on the next ability check it makes to perform the task you are helping with, provided that it makes the check before the start of your next turn. Alternatively, you can aid a friendly creature in attacking a creature within 5 feet of you. You feint, distract the target, or in some other way team up to make your ally’s attack more effective. If your ally attacks the target before your next turn, the first attack roll is made with advantage.

Here we get into actions that people usually forget about until after their turn and the player next to you says “Dude, you didn’t do anything. You should have used the help action with me!” Help seems to be primarily used when you are trying to make some sort of check, such as investigation. But in battle, it’s all about trying to kill the BBEG. So if you can’t reach the monster, but are within 5 feet of your foe, help helps.

Wait, I though only monsters could do that.


In my opinion, the most under utilized action in combat. Sure, it’s not as good as being able to restrain someone, but being able to stop the creature from running away is a pretty powerful thing to do. The creature can still attack, but if your front line party members are just wailing away on the poor xorn, it probably wants to run away to fight another day. Best part is, when your turn comes around, you can hit the creature while still grappling it. Grappling can be the difference between killing the monster or letting it get away. And if it gets away, you don’t get that precious exp.


While I was writing the above, all I could think about was the 90’s song “Somebody to Shove” by Soul Asylum. Of course that has nothing to do with the shove action in 5e, but I wanted to share that tidbit.

I didn’t really understand the purpose of wanting to push someone back 5 feet versus knocking them prone. Talking with Stephen, I have a better understanding of why you may want to do so. His first statement was “If you’re on a volcano, push them into the lava.”

I was hooked. Shoving someone back is more of a niche ability, but it can be useful. Push someone off a cliff. Push them back and then, if you have a second attack, shoot them with your ranged weapon without being at disadvantage. The synergy between shoving and using a polearm works well. Long story short, shoving someone back 5 feet can be useful.

Knocking some prone by shoving them can be very useful given the circumstances. They lose half their movement getting up. When you’re within 5 feet, you get advantage on your attack. If the creature doesn’t get up, it’s attacks are at disadvantage. Sure, ranged attacks are at disadvantage, but the positives way outnumber the negatives.

Oooo…I’d like to try that!

These are some homebrew actions that I wanted to try out. They aren’t a finished product, and I’m hoping Stephen will work with me on them so I can try them out during our campaign. Of course, he’s got to be sick of me doing crap like this, so I can’t blame him if he laughs in my face.

Tackle - Sometimes you just want to knock someone down or land on top of them. You make a Strength (Athletics) check contested by the target’s Strength (Athletics) or Dexterity (Acrobatics) check. If you win the contest, both you and the target are both knocked prone and the monster is grappled.

Trip - This is more of a reaction, but I wanted to include it here. The mechanics can be improved by a good DM (looking at you Stephen), but here’s the gist of it. As the target moves past you (must be within 5 feet) you can make a Strength (Athletics) check versus the targets Dexterity (Acrobatics) check. If you win the contest, the target will stumble and immediately lose all additional movement, stopping directly in front of you.

Taunt - Need to get that Barbarian away from your little gnome wizard with only 5 hit points left? Piss him off by making fun of his mother! You make a general Charisma check against the target’s Charisma check. If you win the contest, the target will disengage and move directly toward you on its next turn. Must speak the creature’s native language to use the taunt action. Of course, this is up to DMs discretion as it can effectively wastes the monster’s turn and some monster’s just don’t care if you insult your mother.

Slam - Ever been in the moshpit at a concert? This action is like that. Immediately after using your dash action and moving a minimum of 20 feet, you can use your bonus action to slam your shoulder into a creature. You make an unarmed attack on the target, on a hit, you deal bludgeoning damage equal to 1+ your strength modifier and knock the target back 5 ft.

Hitting things is nice. We all love to do it and if you don’t hit them, how can you kill them and get all that precious experience. But there are a number of reasons to use actions other than attacking. Sometimes its harder than you think to kill that BBEG, so thinking outside the box can give you that little advantage you need to defeat your foe. Maybe you shouldn’t kill the creature outright, but subduing it to get some information out of them. I know we as players act like crazed murder hobos a great deal of the time, but talking can sometimes get you the directions to the pile of gold, which can be better than the experience, since being rich is better than getting a measly 200 exp.

Why are we always hitting things - Other action options
I'm John Constantine, I do Stupid in Spades - The Laughing Magicians BloodlineD&D playerChris CurranFri, 19 Apr 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/im-john-constantine-i-do-stupid-in-spades-the-laughing-magicians-bloodline5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5cb90e51e4966b7f98c983e1A selfish bastard with a heart of gold, John Constantine comes from the famed Laughing Magician bloodline. Now you too can save souls and screw with demons.I had a great deal of fun coming up with the Browncoat subclass last week, so I figured I try my hand at another one from a TV/movie that I loved. After giving it some thought, I landed on John Constantine, of movie, TV, and comic book fame. I decided on doing the subclass as a sorcerer, and I know this will be a point of debate amongst people reading this. He could have gone either Sorcerer or Warlock, and I chose Sorcerer, as the description of how the class gets their magical abilities lined up better with my vision. This subclass is a combination of all three genres, so if you’ve only watched the movie, go pick up the Hellblazer comic to see where some of my inspiration comes from. You won’t be disappointed.

Constantine was born with his powers, as he was one in a long line of sorcerers known as the Laughing Magicians. The Laughing Magicians are magic-users from a particular bloodline, characterized by both their unique ability to utilize Synchronicity Wave Travelling and their tendency for rebuking and outsmarting Gods, Demons, Spirits and just about everything else. Synchronicity in magic is the belief the universe is guiding you. By using this power, you take control of synchronicity, making your own luck and advantages in battle. This allows Laughing Magicians to use fate and synchronicity to their advantage, putting fate on your side and multiplying the chances of succeeding even more. Simply put, synchronicity allows a Laughing Magician to create their own luck, and by doing so, reshape the battle they are fighting to their own accord and liking.

Laughing Magicians have existed for most of history as people who rebuked the Gods whom others worshiped. Some even managed to destroy or use Gods for their own purposes. While not all Laughing Magicians have such great powers, a select few have the abilities above.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind the Laughing Magicians:
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Laughing Magician
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Laughing Magician
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Devil Tongue

Constantine spent most of his time talking, arguing and making deals with demons and angels. So it made sense that the Laughing Magicians can speak, read and write Abyssal and Celestial. Knowing their language gives you advantage on History (Intelligence) checks to recall information about them. If your bloodline has, throughout history, screwed with demons and angels alike, it probably makes sense that you should able to communicate with them.


One of the core abilities of the bloodline, at 1st level when you see a creature make an attack roll against you, you can use your reaction to ride the Sychronicity Wave and impose disadvantage on the attack roll. Whether the attack hits or not, you can then move up to half your speed without provoking opportunity attacks. You can use this ability a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier per long rest. While it may not be as powerful as I hoped for this skill, it was important to give the subclass the ability right away. One point of debate (Stephen changes everyone of my ideas, oh wait, I mean helps my through the mechanical issues) was whether The Laughing Magicians should be able to use their reaction to make an attack or be able to move away safely. I opted for safety, as it seemed to be more in line with what the character this bloodline is based off of would do. Constantine is a spell caster not a melee fighter. Once again, for those of you that have only seen the movie and/or TV show, go read the comic and you’ll understand how important this is to the bloodline.

Sigils of Protection

Among the many abilities the Laughing Magicians have, using sigils to protect themselves from danger is another core tenet of the bloodline. There is a list of the sigils in the subclass description, so I don’t want to go over them in to much detail here. I felt it was important to give protection from both spell and weapon attacks, since Constantine, while a great sorcerer, was only an average melee fighter at best. So you’ll want some protection for those annoying creatures that get a little too close. *Author’s Note - I wanted to acknowledge that I used some of the runic weapons descriptions when doing the sigils. I don’t want Stephen to get all mad at me for not giving him credit.


The 2005 Constantine Movie starring Keanu Reeves opens with him performing a rather difficult exorcism on a demon trying to cross over to the material plane. It’s a cool scene and sets the stage for the main plot line. While I was going to base the exorcism skill on the cleric Excorise spell from AD&D, it was pointed out to me that their isn’t really possession in 5e, so the spell didn’t have much mechanical use. Instead, Laughing Magicians receive the ability to learn Dispel Good and Evil, which upon comparison is basically the 5e version of exorcism in many ways. It’s a pretty powerful ability, but being able to cast out demons and other supernatural beings is the name of the game for John Constantine, so it was important to make sure it was a powerful ability for the Laughing Magicians. Also included at 14th level is having advantage against being charmed and frightened.

Portal to the Depths

Screwing with the undead and fiends are what the Laughing Magicians do best. Not only can they travel to their domain and mess with them, but the Laughing Magicians can trick the creatures onto the material plane to be bound to do whatever the sorcerer wishes. Constantine took great pleasure in trapping demons and making them do his bidding. While sometimes it didn’t work out like he hoped, it never deterred him from trying over and over again. It also seemed like John spent just as much time in Hell as he did on Earth, so allowing him to travel back and forth between specific planes was a critical skill for this sorcerer subclass to have.

So there you have it, the Laughing Magician Subclass for the sorcerer. It was impossible to include all the abilities and skills our inspiration, one Mr. John Constantine, has acquired over the years and from all the genres he has appeared in. It was important for me to not only base the subclass on Constantine, but the lore and background of the Laughing Magicians themselves. I hope you enjoy trying this out!

Art Header Credit: Constantine: City of Demons

I'm John Constantine, I do Stupid in Spades - The Laughing Magicians Bloodline
I Aim to Misbehave - The Browncoat SubclassD&D playerChris CurranFri, 12 Apr 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/i-aim-to-misbehave-the-browncoat-subclass5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5caf3a19ee6eb0327c4a464eWhat better way to misbehave than to create a rogue subclass for all those Browncoats? We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.I love the TV show Firefly.

I love the movie Serenity even more, as it provided a certain amount of closure to the ill fated TV series (An amazing movie review by Movies with Mikey can be found here). Malcolm Reynolds is the embodiment of the Chaotic Good alignment and plays the role of a Rogue/Gunslinger. The remainder of the crew all fits into some sort of D&D class category: Fighter (Zoe), Barbarian (Jayne), Cleric/Healer (Simon), Bard (Wash - ok, he’s comic relief but I found that he inspired the crew and his wife with his lighthearted ability to provide the party with options other than fighting), Paladin (Shepard Book), and Artificer (Kaylee). I left Inara out since I couldn’t quite figure out what class she would fall into, so let me know what your thoughts are.

Also missing is River. In Firefly, it was obvious that she was a 2nd/3rd season character development plot line, but since the TV series never made it that far, it was a godsend that they were able to do the movie. In Serenity, she was some crazy dual class Monk/Psion (3.5e) that we all knew she would be… and it was fucking awesome.

Before I go any further, I have to admit something. I’ve been jealous of all the amazing content Stephen has been putting out lately: Runic Weapons, Smith’s Tools, Downtime Days, etc. While I love writing the more philosophical articles, player/GM content material is also fun to do, and I figured it was time I get off my ass and provide something tangible for players, just as Stephen has done for the GM. That said, he did contribute to this homebrew subclass so, as much as it pains me to say, he gets some of the credit.

For those that don’t want my thought process behind the Browncoat:
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Browncoat - GM Binder Browncoat PDF

The Browncoat - A Rogue Subclass

Starting at 3rd level, you gain proficiency in firearms and tinker’s tools. Tinker’s tools allows the browncoat to spend some of his downtime repairing his weapon and creating ammo so that he’s not always looking for someone that can do it for him. I thought about limiting it to just pistols, but after watching the movie again, I realized that Zoe often uses a rifle, and since she was also a browncoat, I left it open for all firearms.

Master of Vehicles

Also at 3rd level you gain proficiency in either land or water vehicles. The Serenity was basically a cast member, as it served as home for the crew and was crucial to how they made their living. Since you can’t have a badass spaceship (that is constantly falling apart), I thought it only fair to allow the player choose a set of vehicles to assist in their endeavors. More importantly, the Browncoat gains advantage of Deception and Sleight of Hand checks when using these vehicles. In the TV show, the crew uses a variety of secret compartments to stash illegal cargo, so it seemed only fair that the player should get some sort of bonus to keep their goods safe. If your GM is really nice, you could even choose Airships!


At 9th level, the Browncoat gets the Troublemaker ability. In the TV show, bad luck and misfortune follows the crew no matter where they go. But as the show progressed, and especially in the movie, Mal always seemed to be one step ahead of the impending doom. In the movie, Mal goes to see Inara, even though he knows it a trap. Before doing so, he makes sure that things are in place to be able to survive his encounter with the BBEG. He takes the beacon so that the Alliance cannot find Serenity and blow it out of the sky, and upon their escape, he makes sure that he confounds the Alliance so they can’t be followed. Mal also takes the first shot at the BBEG, and even though it didn’t work out as he planned, I would argue that he still had the initiative in this encounter.

As far as not being able to be charmed, I felt that it was fair to give the Browncoat this ability at 9th level. Sure, in the TV show, Mal succumbs to the seductive charms of Christina Hendricks’ character, but in later episodes he is able to see her for what she really is. It takes him a while, so that is why I feel that 9th level is a good place to gain this ability.

Sometimes You Just Have to Run

One of my favorite lines from the movie is “You run when you should fight, and fight when you ought to deal”. Mal isn’t stupid and he understands that sometimes running is your best option. In the TV show, while the crew tries to stay one step ahead of the Alliance and other threats, sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. They always manage to escape, and they usually do so by running away, not by fighting their way out. Yes, I know there are some exceptions, especially the end of the movie, but for the most part, they only fight so they have the chance to run.

Therefore, it only seemed fitting that at 13th level, the Browncoat gets the Sometimes You Just Have to Run ability. Being able to take the Disengage action and immediately move up to up to half your normal movement away from the threat seemed perfect to me.

Fight till the End

Finally, at 17th level, the Browncoat get the Fight till the End ability. This ability is based mainly on the ending of the movie. The crew is fighting off the Reavers in a no win situation, and everyone gets shot or wounded in some way, yet they manage to fight on as long as they can. Meanwhile, Mal is fighting the BBEG and getting his ass kicked all over the place. But no matter how badly he is getting beaten, Mal always seems to be able to dig deep and keep on fighting, even when he should be down for the count.

The Fight till the End ability allows the Browncoat to use their reaction when an attack would drop them to 0 HP to instead drop them 1 HP. The Browncoat also gets to roll their sneak attack dice to gain temporary hit points based on the result of the roll. At 17th level, a rogue has an average of 80 HP with a +0 Con modifier. By rolling your sneak attack dice, the browncoat has the potential to get up to 54 temporary HP, with the average being 32 HP. Plus it gives the Browncoat something to do with their sneak attack ability other than inflict pain.

So there you have it, a roguishly handsome Browncoat!

As always, any constructive criticism (not bitching at me… looking at you, Stephen) is always appreciated.

Header Art Credit: Daniel Dos Santos

I Aim to Misbehave - The Browncoat Subclass
Creating Sub-Optimal Characters Is Not A Bad ThingD&D playerEtiquetteStephen BandstraFri, 05 Apr 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/creating-sub-optimal-characters-is-not-a-bad-thing5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5ca3b48471c10bd5769cab62Sometimes you want to play that super goofy paladin that forgets how to swing their sword, but that isn’t always appropriate for the table. Let’s discuss how the fun of the table effects character creation.Well… well… well… Chris is gone for the week, taking what he described as a ‘well-deserved’ vacation to San Francisco! Which means you are left here… with me… Stephen. For those unaware, I write The GM Is Always Right articles and am the annoying voice on our fantastic podcast, No INT Here - The Podcast. You should check out both of those!

But, we aren’t here to talk about how great I am, or how the Kobold is the greatest monster to ever come out of DnD. But I totally could talk about the Kobold if you wa-… Huh… you don’t? Fine… Let’s talk about how your choices to create a character that some may call ‘sub-optimal’ is not a bad thing.

Disclaimer: Sometimes it isn’t appropriate to make a sub-optimal character. Some games are set up with the idea that it is for ‘hardcore gaming’ where death is likely around every corner unless you plan smartly. Make sure you discuss with your GM about your character before creating them… and the same goes for GMs, before you put the final touches on your Deathbowl Slaughterfest campaign, make sure you’ve talked to your players about it first.

Sub… Optimal?

Before I get carried away into a rant, let's talk about what I mean when I say Sub-Optimal. There are three rough categories for how well designed your character is. There is Optimized, Optimal and Sub-Optimal.

Our Optimized characters are the ones that focus really hard on specific things and they do those things overwhelmingly well. Some players may even get upset by those characters because the Optimized can do things and roll more dice than the other characters thought possible… this leads us to situations when people might get upset and call other classes/races/abilities/etc overpowered and start getting resentful. Though other people may think it is amazing what those optimized characters can do within the restraints of the rules.

Optimal characters are the ones that the designers of any rules system assumed would be playing. These are characters who don’t dive too deep into the nitty-gritty of the rules, looking for ways to make themselves better. When they get chances to improve their main skill, they may not even take it in favor of getting a useful feat. These characters are the general idea of what a player will be playing with in a game.

Sub-Optimal… well, these are the black sheep of any group. These characters are given a list of things they should be able to do moderately well, and then they take that list and start drawing pretty doodles all over it while the rest of the party is calling for their cleric. These characters aren’t built to do one thing well, they are built for the enjoyment of their flaws by the player. They excel in not exceling, and can cause other players to become annoyed by their antics… even if its relatively harmless.

You’re Not In Trouble, I’m Just… Disappointed

Now that we have an idea as to what I mean by Sub-Optimal, we can talk a bit more about why it’s perfectly fine to create a Sub-Optimal character.

The basics to play are: play what you find fun and play what the group will find fun. See most of these TTRPGs we play are all built around playing as a team. Too many players create this badass lone wolf character, and then start bitching about having to play with the party. Other players create overly powerful characters that steal the limelight from other players. In either of those cases, the only person having fun is who we call an asshole. Don’t be an asshole.

Now, it’s very easy to look at those two examples and then look at your kobold barbarian with a negative modifier in his strength and say, “Look! Meepo loves being in a party! And he never steals the limelight in combat cause he can barely swing his sword! I’m not an asshole according to that one dude on the internet! … Why is everyone dead?”

Without me explaining why that guy is actually an asshole, let’s talk about party based games. These games, like DnD, Pathfinder, Stars Without Numbers, Edge of the Empire, and so many others, all focus on creating a joint play experience between a handful of players and the Game Master. This join play experience has an unspoken rule that everyone should respect, even if few people realize it. That rule is: Don’t be an asshole and everyone should have fun.

Technically that’s two rules, but I’m not counting. These party based games should be about creating a mutual fun environment for all at the table and there should be open discussion about that fun at any table. Some players may have the most fun creating a sub-optimal character that can barely speak, let alone cast those 9th level spells. But if that character is ruining the fun of the table, then there should be a conversation and that could potentially mean that that player comes back with a more optimal character.

Getting To The Point

Now, I’ve gone on and on about how everyone at the table should have fun, but I haven’t spelled out why building a Sub-Optimal character isn’t a bad thing. Here it goes: When you build a character that increases the fun for not only you, but the whole table, no choice is a bad choice. By creating a character the increases the fun for all, you are creating the right character.

See, it doesn’t matter how optimal your character is if all it does is mess up the fun for the table. Open discussion and the fun of the table should dictate what kind of characters the players should be making. There is no room for a Sub-Optimal character in a party of Optimized characters if everyone assumes they are all supposed to have Optimized characters. This will only create tensions at the table and decrease the fun for all.

The role that everyone takes on when they sit down at a table to play a party based game is that they are going to place the fun of the table over the fun for themselves, and this doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to have fun. You are part of the table, and your fun is part of the table. But don’t bring an intentionally broken character to the table before talking about it with the rest of the table. Its important that everyone has fun, or else no one is going to have fun.

Header Art Credit: Warhammer Fantasy Roleplaying 4e

Creating Sub-Optimal Characters Is Not A Bad Thing
Combos to Make Your DM CrazyPlayer PerspectiveChris CurranFri, 29 Mar 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/combos-to-make-your-dm-crazy5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5c9d55ed4192022e60d6a211Players love a good combo. . . Especially when it drives your DM crazy!Players love a good combo. Whether it’s a combination of two spells by the same caster, two wizards working in conjunction, or a multi-class that gives the player more bonuses than they know what to do with, combos are just one more thing that make players feel like they are superheroes. The fact that they will also drive your DM nuts is just a little added bonus (Love you Stephen).

Now, none of the combos listed below will be new to some people, as there really is no originality left in DnD. The ones listed below are included because I found them interesting, annoying or just plain funny. Everyone has a combo they use, so please, tell us yours in the comment section below. Who knows, they could be new to us!

The Briar Patch: Plant Growth + Spike Growth

This one is from my friend Alex, who is an expert in the field of crazy combos. Druid Spells are some of the best spells to combine in my opinion, and this is just one example of why. It should be obvious to make sure that you cast Plant Growth first since Spike Growth is a concentration spell, but I wanted to make sure I said that.

A 3rd level Spell, the Druid uses one action to make all normal plants within a 100 foot radius to become overgrown, with any creatures in this area now using 4ft of movement just to go 1ft. The spell’s range is 150ft and you can shape it so that certain areas are unaffected, or if you are surrounded you could just make a little 10X10 circle in the middle where you are standing. Or you can just cast it in front you. Either way, you can just wave and smile at the creatures slowly making their way to you.

So now the poor creatures who, let’s say, have a normal 30ft movement, are slowly shuffling their way to you. Now, as you’re smiling at them, you drop your 2nd level Spike Growth on top of them. Not only are they slowed by the Plant Growth, but they are in difficult terrain. Where normally the creature would be able to get out of the growth’s 20ft radius in two turns, based on our above example of 30ft movement, it now takes four rounds, each doing 2d4 damage. That’s 8d4 with normal movement, 4d4 if they dash. Sure, it’s not a ton of damage, but I bet it will feel like it is to the creature that is slowly moving forward through the spikes, probably being peppered with arrows as he goes.

Turret Time

This uses the new UA Artificer. It is really interesting class that WotC has brought back, and if you haven’t had a chance to check it out, you can listen to us explain it here. At 3rd level, you can take the Artillerist archetype, who has the ability to summon a moving turret. This turret can be a healing cannon, a giant ballista or a flame thrower (not the official names of course). The turret has an AC of 18, and it has HP equal to 5 times the artificer’s level. Activating the turret only takes your bonus action. Where it really gets fun is at 14th level, the Artificer can summon two turrets of different types and they provide half cover if you and/or your friends are within 10 ft of it.

There are so many options available depending on what you need during the battle. In my mind, the artificer summons two ballista turrets next to each other while he/she stands directly behind them. Any ranged focused heroes should also be within 10ft too. The key here is that you can activate both turrets with your single bonus action. So on your turn, you use your bonus action to fire two ballista arrows, doing 4d8 damage and pushing the creature back 5ft for each arrow, or 10ft total if attacking the same creature. With your action, you can use your mending cantrip to heal a turret for 2d6. And if that wasn’t enough, you can push forward or retreat back 15ft on that turn. Oh, did I mention they can climb walls too?

The picture in my mind is that of a gnome standing behind his turrets, marching forward like he is a 5 star general on the battlefield, screaming for his troops to advance and follow him to victory. Hopefully he has a mount.

Fucking Pixies: Conjure Woodland Beings + Polymorph

This one has been around for awhile, and while I’d like to give someone credit for it, I have no idea who the original DM-Hating-Player who came up with this combo is. It’s been called one of the biggest game breaking combos out there, and here’s why.

You’re an 8th level Druid (or 14th level Ranger, but it’s not as OP at 14th level…sorry to all you Ranger loving people out there). You and your 3 other party members see a swarm of kobolds bearing down on you. You figure you only have 2 turns before you are overrun by the annoying little bastards. What do you do?

First you cast Conjure Woodland Beings and summon 8 Pixies, since you can summon up to 8 fey creatures of 1/4 CR or lower. Pixies are annoying, but they are also pretty powerful. What makes them so good is their ability to cast one of the following spells each day - confusion, dancing lights, detect evil and good, detect thoughts, dispel magic, entangle, fly, phantasmal force, polymorph, sleep. Those are some pretty good spells, and now you have access to all eight of them.

You’re not going to use 8 different spells though. As you see the kobolds getting ever closer, you gather the party together and have 5 of the pixies cast polymorph, one on each party member, and then have the pixies go hide. You now have a party consisting of four Tyrannosaurus Rexes… Rexen? You know, those 136 HP, multiattacking Dinosaurs with a 10ft reach? The kobolds just peed themselves a little, and even if the kobolds do take down a mighty T-Rex, you have four more pixies ready to cast Polymorph the first chance they get.

It has been confirmed by both Mike Mearls and Jeremy Crawford that the Druid can maintain concentration while in T-Rex form. Sure, they will have to make the normal Con saves as needed, but with you having the stats of a T-Rex, it isn’t has hard as you think it might be. The pixies must make sure they hide, because it is way easier for them to have their concentration broken or be outright killed… and since they are tiny and can fly, they can pretty much hide anywhere.

Sneak Attack Special

I heard about this one on the latest podcast from Monsters & Multiclass. You’re a rogue, and while that sneak attack is awesome, you are getting a little bored of jumping in, making your attack and running out. You long to fight at the front lines, hitting creatures without worrying about losing all your hit points.

Take a dip into Fighter. Level up to 3rd, and you get to take your fighter archetype. Maybe you can’t quite figure out which one to take. Should I go Eldritch Knight and get some spells? Maybe Champion and stay on the front lines a little longer. Nope, you need to go Battle Master. Remember, you are a rogue first, and Battle Master can bring out the best in your rogue if you know how to do it.

As stated above, sneak attack is what the rogue lives for. So how would you like to have the chance to get two sneak attacks in one round? By going battle master, you have that chance. On your turn you sneak attack just like a good(or evil) rogue does. Later in the round, the creature attacks you but misses. Now you can use one of your superiority dice and use Riposte. If you still have advantage and hit, you get your normal damage, sneak attack damage and the d8 superiority die damage. It may not seem as much fun as some of the spells combos you have seen, but if you’re level 10 with 7 levels in rogue / 3 in fighter and you are using a rapier, you have the potential to do 2d8 weapon damage + 8d6 sneak attack damage + 1d8 superiority die damage, and that’s before any of your modifiers to damage per round. Not so boring now that you get to roll all those dice now is it?

Arrowhead of Destruction

Then there is this:

Arrowhead of Destruction.jpg

I mean WTF. If I’m the DM, I just give up at this point. Creating a mini rift (10 ft radius sphere) that immediately sucks everyone into a random spot in the Astral Sea? Welp… there goes my BBEG.

Combos are fun, silly and sometimes so overpowered they can break the game. A good DM will allow crazy combos to happen, and then learn how to crushes the player’s hopes and dreams when they try it again.

Combos to Make Your DM Crazy
Things I Like and Don’t LikeD&D playerChris CurranFri, 22 Mar 2019 13:00:00 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/things-i-like-and-dont-like5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5c93a6d0b208fc0cdfa85518There are some things I like in D&D, and other things I have no idea why they are even a thing.Everyone has opinions on things they like and don’t like about D&D. When Stephen and I kick around ideas on what to write about or what to talk about on our podcast, we can have some pretty strong opinions on things (Such as Stephen’s unnatural obsession with kobolds). I started to keep a mental list of the things I thought were pretty cool and some I just couldn’t wrap my head around.

I’ve tried to drill down on my ‘dislikes’ to see if I could find some redeeming qualities, and for some I’ve changed my opinion. I wrote an earlier article on guns in DnD, and my thoughts on that have changed completely since I wrote it. My bias came from my old school thinking. I thought the game should only be about swords and shields, not pistols and muskets. But the more I looked at how they fit into the 5e world, I realized that they had a place in the game in its current edition. I’m even using a pistol with my rogue in the campaign I am playing in now.

Opinions are just that…opinions. These are mine. I respect others thoughts on the game, so be respectful when you rip them apart.


Player’s Handbook, WoTC 2014

Player’s Handbook, WoTC 2014

  1. The Cleric. The poor maligned cleric has taken so much abuse over the years that most people end up playing one because they know that the party needs one, but they don’t have one yet (Full disclosure - I love playing the Cleric, even more now with the domain options). The Domains in 5e allow the Cleric to be so much more than just a support healer if they want to be. Sure, there is the Life Domain, which makes you the most powerful healer in the game. But if you want to be a front line hero, but don’t want to play the Paladin cause your party needs a primary healer, then War Domain is for you.

    If you look through the list of Domains, it’s almost like WoTC realized in 5e, every party needed a Cleric, but the poor bastard who has to play it should be compensated for the rest of the party thinking all he/she should do is heal. As stated above, War makes you part fighter. Nature makes you part Druid. Trickery makes you part rogue. It’s fantastic, and no one should look at the Cleric as “just a healer” anymore.

  2. Feats. Feats are fun. As I have stated before in many of my posts, I started in AD&D when feats did not exist. In my first campaign I didn’t take any feats, mainly because I didn’t read up on them and thought I might mess up by taking the wrong one. How stupid is that? Feats add so much flavor to the game that never existed before.

    Increasing your stats can be very important, but many of the feats give you a minor bonus to a stat, plus an added feature. That makes feats even better! What fighter wouldn’t want to take the Durable feat at some point? Getting plus one to you Constitution is great, but getting the bonus to rolling hit dice when regaining hit points more than compensates for not getting that extra stat point. Some go even further than that, like Resilient is one of the best feats to take in my humble opinion. Getting the option to gain one stat point in an ability of your choice is amazing. Then you also get proficiency in a saving throw of your choice! At 4th level this is such a great feat to take, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t.

    Of course, that said, I didn’t take Resilient with my new rogue at 4th level. I decided to take Alert. The +5 bonus to my initiative really helps get my attack off first in most fights. I slip in, get off my sneak attack at close range, then move back to attack at range for the rest of the fight. It puts the party at a nice advantage to start the battle, wounding the creature right off the bat.

  3. Roleplaying. I’ve really taken to roleplaying. It took some getting use to, but I’m playing at a GREAT table, and that helped me come out of my shell a bit. I’m not big on using voice or acting out my actions, but I do try way more that I used to.


Player’s Handbook, WoTC 2014

Player’s Handbook, WoTC 2014

  1. Dinosaurs. Stephen loves to tell me that he doesn’t understand how I can be ok with the idea of a world full of dragons, dwarves and liches, but I draw the line at dinosaurs. Well, I do draw the line at dinosaurs. They just do not fit in the game as far as I’m concerned. I picture dinosaurs wandering the world(s) in a time before man. Why are they hanging out with dwarves and elves? It just makes no sense to me. So yes, I can get behind all sorts of mythical creatures in a fantasy land, but only if there are no dinosaurs.

  2. Adventure League. My experience with AL is pretty limited, so I could be wrong about it. But from the little time I did play in AL, it just wasn’t for me. The rules are pretty much always RAW and you’re “limited” by official classes, races, etc. I put that in quotes because there’s lots of crap home brew out there and if you’re allowed to play anything and everything you want in your game, you can ruin your own fun.

    But the DM should have the flexibility to make house rules in my opinion. Luckily, I was very fortunate to find a group of people that I can play with once a week, and our DM (Stephen) is open to our wants. He also creates some of the best homebrew stuff out there.

  3. Dragonborn. Something about this race just rubs me the wrong way. Isn’t it bad enough that the kobold now can link its ancestry to dragons? Now we have to go even one step further and make a race of dragons to play as? Come on.

    It also seems to me that they really want this to be a popular race to pick. The dragonborn get three ability score increases out of the gate (Strength by 2, Charisma by 1) and damage resistance to whichever type of dragon they base their ancestry from. That is pretty standard. But what really pushes it over the edge for me is their breath weapon. Being able to shoot out a 15ft cone of fire that does 2d6 on a failed saving throw at first level seems totally unbalanced. Sure, you can only use it once and then you have to take a rest, but it’s a long or short rest. That’s a pretty OP ability to have early game.

Please feel free to share with me your thoughts on this and let me know what you do and don’t like in 5e. I’m not perfect and I’m always willing to listen. Hell, I came around on firearms…

Things I Like and Don’t Like
The One Page On How To RoleplayRoleplayingChris CurranFri, 15 Mar 2019 12:21:15 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/the-one-page-on-how-to-roleplay5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5c8990dafa0d607ac03bc716It’s hard roleplaying when you are new to RPGs, and the Player’s Handbook leaves much to be desired.I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t read the PHB cover to cover. Like a lot of people, it was the first book I bought and had every intention of reading the whole thing immediately. Of course life got in the way, we started playing DnD on a regular basis, and it became more of a reference tool I used to look up spells when the internet was down.

I decided to sit down and read through the entire book to see if I could find any little nuggets of information that I didn’t know about. It was an interesting exercise, and I found the sections: Time and Between Adventures very compelling. (On a side note, Stephen has been developing a massive system for Downtime Days that we are currently using in our campaign. It’s amazing and I’m trying to convince him to develop it further and put it together as a supplement on DMsGuild. Time will tell)

What I found fascinating is that there is basically one page in the PHB on roleplaying. Dungeons & Dragons is the original RPG, and yet players are given very little information on how to deal with roleplaying and social interaction. Sure, there is plenty of talk about roleplaying combat, but in the world of 5e… Critical Role and a million live play podcasts and twitch streams use social interaction roleplaying as the focus of the game, and combat has been reduced to an almost secondary part of many games. I know we spend at least 75% of the time in our campaign talking with each other, NPC’s and bad guys when we don’t want to fight them. So I wanted to take a look at this one page and see how a total newcomer might view what the PHB has to say about roleplaying.





There it is folks, the official WotC summary of what roleplaying is in Dungeons & Dragons. The PHB spends sixteen (16) pages describing various character backgrounds that some players don’t even use (our entire party does, but honestly, at an AL table where you jump in part way through Dungeon of the Mad Mage, do you ever get to think about your background?). Here we have seven sentences on how to roleplay in the biggest roleplaying game in history. We often talk about balance in DnD. This doesn’t seem balanced to me at all.

Tell a person to think and act like their character, and it can be a daunting task for a player new to DnD. Sure, you have your character sheet in front of you, with all the stats and general information on it, but none of that tells you who your character is. OK, I’ll admit your background is on the sheet and it helps you develop your character’s personality, so maybe I was a little harsh. But still… sixteen pages vs. seven sentences? Something is a little out of whack here.

DnD started as a war game. Rules on combat were, and still are, the most detailed part of the books. Everyone loves to hit things, kill monsters and get treasure (not necessarily in that order). But as the game progressed throughout the editions, the roleplaying part of DnD started to take on more and more importance. Now in 5e, players want to roleplay, flesh out there characters, use funny voices (poorly) and act out their character’s actions. The PHB describes the two main styles of approaching roleplaying: Descriptive and Active. The description of both is pretty straightforward, but let’s take a look at them in a little more detail.

Descriptive Approach to Roleplaying


The PHB goes on to give an example of the descriptive approach in game. The descriptive approach is the easiest way to get started roleplaying for the new player. There is no pressure to come up with a funny voice (let alone remember to use that voice) or try to act out what you are going to do. These things can be intimidating to a new person, especially if they are at a table where they may not know everyone. It also gives the player a chance to think about how they want to develop the character and their emotions, actions and overall thought process without worrying about acting it out. I think the descriptive method allows the greater freedom for the new player.

Active Approach to Roleplaying

If descriptive roleplaying tells your DM and your fellow players what your character thinks and does, active roleplaying shows them. (PHB, pg. 186)

The active approach comes later, when players feel comfortable with their own abilities and the other people at the table. It takes time for the player to feel comfortable in their characters skin, and sometimes it takes someone else taking the Active Approach and being goofy before others are comfortable to do so. Once they start, a player can integrate physical actions into their descriptive roleplaying. Critical Role has made making a unique voice for your character the favorite way for most player to add flavor. Though, I know plenty of players that will jump up and act out what their character is doing while describing it to the table. It’s not for everyone, but if you feel comfortable doing it, then do it.

Here are links to the best article and video on how to roleplay that I feel are out there. Roleplaying is a crucial part of DnD. While the original RPG, DnD now places more emphasis on the roleplaying aspect of the game than combat. I think this is great. It adds such a great element of flavor to the game that was missing from the earlier additions.

Just remember, we can’t all be Sam Riegel. You’ll feel silly sometimes, and maybe forget your favorite voice… but you’re playing a game of make believe with friends. If you can’t be silly and have fun doing that, than what can you have fun with?


The One Page On How To Roleplay
Bringing back the Old Guard - Good or Bad?D&DPlayer PerspectiveChris CurranFri, 08 Mar 2019 12:13:22 +0000https://dumpstatadventures.com/a-players-perspective/bringing-back-the-old-guard-good-or-bad5bd88db093a6320f071b1a50:5bea121889858370442c25e4:5c8141394785d342b6e2f864Why I think that WotC’s strategy of bringing back the Old Guard can be a bad thing for the DnD community as a whole.Please read this article all the way through.

As WotC continues to pump out outrageously expensive hardcover campaigns to run, it has been widely noted that much of the newest material has been taken from AD&D and 1e and modernized for today’s game. Stephen and I have had numerous conversations on how the renaissance D&D is experiencing is driven, in part, by this strategy. By playing on the nostalgia of the older campaigns, WotC is tapping into the market of people like me - Those who played in the AD&D era, stopped, and now are coming back to game.

I wrote an article last month about why I left and came back, and I’ll say, the above strategy worked on me. The first campaign I played when I came back was The Curse of Strahd. Somewhere in my piles of old D&D stuff that I never thought I would use again, is the I9 module Ravenloft (I apparently have 3 copies of the old G1-2-3 module Against the Giants. Why I needed three I have no idea). While I was probably one of the few people that thought it was a good, not great, module - it did bring me back to when I played in my youth. Strahd was the ultimate BBEG then, and he was the first bad guy to really stand out. Everyone who played knew who he was. So when I was able to play in a campaign that I knew something about, I was able to feel an immediate connection with the game. It made it easier for me to feel comfortable, and in turn, be drawn back in.

So everyone is happy then, right? WotC increases it customer base. D&D gains more players, leading to more games, leading to more people having fun. More products sell, more people make money. What could be wrong? On the surface, nothing. I’m excited to be back and having a great time, and I know many others of my generation that feel the same way. But I’m going to put something out there that will probably piss off some people.

We “old timers” were the problem in the first place.

Now I know I’m lumping a whole group of people together and that isn’t fair. In fact I would say the majority, in fact a large majority, (90%+) are great people that should be welcomed back to the community with open arms. But there are many people, men in particular, that were the original source of the hatred and anger that almost destroyed the D&D and the roleplaying community as a whole. Many of the people that are currently shitheads in the game are the direct result of being brought up by such assholes, whether in their home or through the culture in role playing games that they have been exposed to.

D&D wasn’t just played by us nerdy teenage boys back in the 70’s and 80’s. It was also played grown men, many of whom had a “nerd elitism” complex. Ever watch the Simpsons? Remember comic book store guy? D&D was filled with guys like that. There were no after school D&D groups, very few Dads that would take the time to learn to play and then play with their children, and ZERO public support for the game. D&D was kept to the underground, and a nerd hierarchy was firmly in place. You didn’t really notice it when you were young and playing with your friends, but those older, middle aged guys who played the game had no real want for the game to come out into the light. They liked being the kings of their own little fiefdoms, and want to keep the games tucked into hobby stores and cramped basements. They ridiculed other people, made fun of those that didn’t know the rules are well as they did, and only thought “hardcore players” should play the game, not the weekend crowd. So while you look at today’s game as open to all, realize that in the past was a closed community of men unwilling to give up their little slice of power. (Sounds familiar I know.)

As many of you have noticed by now, I have been using the pronoun “he” exclusively in this article. It’s because no matter what you may think or say, men were the problem in the past. There is no way men can blame the massive fall from grace D&D took in its earlier years on women because extremely few women played the game! And why would they? The verbal harassment that took place back then takes place today, and it’s just as bad, if not worse. We know about it on more of a community level because:

  1. Social media allows jackasses a larger platform to spread their bullshit.

  2. People aren’t afraid to speak up.

  3. The new generation of players aren’t as willing to put up with this behavior.

We see the harassment clearly now, or at least some of it. Most of it is men leading the way as the harassers. Some of the old guard that remained are being exposed for the creeps they are. Members of the younger generation, who have learned this behavior, in part, from those before them, are being accused of the same and worse offenses.

And yes, I believe the accusers.

Now, I know how this all sounds. Why come back to the game if its so bad? Well, it’s a great game. It’s a much more open community that embraces everyone for who they are. I see after school groups with good male and female role models teaching their students how to play the game and how to apply it to their lives. There’s GenCon (not without its drama last year). There’s Critical Role. There is a whole community of small developers working on creative and innovative ideas. I want to be a part of that. I want my 13 year old daughter to play, have fun, and not be harassed. I want my 10 year old son to play, have fun and respect everyone he plays with. I’m not going to let a bunch of old nerds ruin the game for me.

Behaviors are learned. We can help the younger generation to learn to play, respect others and have fun. Then, just maybe, there won’t be any room left for those who seek to ruin the game.

Art Credit: Old Guard by toddm

Bringing back the Old Guard - Good or Bad?