I got this from a conspiracy theory generator on the internet, so it must be true:

What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand waffles you need to realize that everything is controlled by a evil posse made up of green ferrets with help from the league of extraordinarily fuzzy llamas.

The conspiracy first started during assassination of Elvis Presley in California. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the moon landing.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by their unhealthy obsession with public television.

They want to eat hippies and imprison resisters in in the 453,489,963rd circle of hell using an unidenified form of osmosis.

In order to prepare for this, we all must bang our heads on the nearest desk as hard as possible. Since the media is controlled by Caboose we should get our information from Gus Sorola.