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I awoke in the middle of the night, thinking about my MS and how it has affected my life and the lives of those around me. I really believe that the effects of this disease began long before I was aware of its existence. The tingling in my fingers and arms when I learned to play raquet ball in college and even prior to that when I used to fool around with tennis. Those many times when I inexplicably fell with no warning or dropped items without any knowledge of letting go until the damage was done. The experiences with memory loss that were in no way hrelated to late night beer bashes. These were all red flags begging for attention. I just had no idea what kind of attention to offer.

During my latest research I found that an estimated 1 in 3 children are diagnosed with MS symptoms. Does that mean that I might have been carting around this inconvenient condition for much longer than I coul guess. I reallyh do believe that my hand numbness and aversion to heat might have been early MS indicators; but that doesn't explain all those years of sun worshipping I enjoyed while life guarding in my youth. I do not recall any episode of numbness or dizziness occurring all of those years. Does that mean that those years of severe heat exposure could have possibly been an accelerant to the diagnosis of the disease? Did my child hood illnesses of measles, mumps, and chicken pox contribute to my diagnosis? What about the unexpected bout of hepatitis that I contracted in the fourth grade after eating licoriche shared by a friend who had it? Does one disease lead to another?

And there are the zillioin questions concerning MS progression that attacks different individuals. Why did a former art teacher, a retired doctor, and a friend's mother all die as a result of the diease; especially when it is well publicized that one cannot die from MS? Why am I ambling along with a stumbling gait when my dear friend is in a wheelchair with limited mobility?

I just do NOT understand this disease. There is nio rhyme nor reason for it.

Did you know that years ago individuals experiencing what we currently recognize as MS symptoms were actually institutionalized or even punished as being in cohorts with the devil?

Well, if there  was ever a devlish disease, this is it. I definintely hdo not want to be tried as a witch, though! At least not for exhibiting traits of multiple sclerosis!

Okay, I've rambled enough for today.


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