Fargo: This week's GameSpy Grudge was suggested by GameSpy reader "The Circle of Stuff." No, I don't understand his nickname either. shaithis?

shaithis: From now on, I'm going to call him "Captain Homeless."

Fargo: But it's a very good Grudge. Both Tony Hawk and John Madden are franchise builders. Whether by skill or luck, they associated their names with the best games of their genre -- and now they sell millions of copies.

shaithis: Let's put aside the fact that I hate Madden with a passion unyielding. But I'm a kind man: I pray not for his death, but merely that lightning will strike his voicebox, leaving him with nothing but a tube through which to whisper. However, in a fistfight, Madden would pulp Tony Hawk. Only the fact that Hawk wears a helmet would keep him alive.

Fargo: But Hawk is way more involved in the creation of the game than Madden is. He gave feedback to the developers, and when it debuted on the original PlayStation, Tony Hawk was a completely original game. It started a whole genre. That's pretty big.

shaithis: Pretty lucky. I wish I could lend some voice talents and expert opinions to a game and then sit at home watching Futurama re-runs while big companies write me huge checks. Unfortunately nobody's working on a game called "Admiral Skillset Bitterly Mocks the Undead Ninja Nazis," so my formidable talents are wasted.

Fargo: That's RIGHT! The real tragedy here is how many brilliant game ideas you and I can toss out in this forum, never to be developed.

shaithis: I wouldn't exactly call your "Bare Woman Kickboxing" idea brilliant.

Fargo: You're right -- it was more like groundbreaking. If it's ever released, it'll be the only game to simulate "jiggling" using your controller's rumble pack. See, look at these design documents!

shaithis: These are just dirty pictures you drew on a napkin.

Fargo: Bah! I'm sure Tony Hawk didn't have to go through this much scorn.

shaithis: Hawk was a multimillionaire and respected professional in his field long before he went into gaming. You're neither a woman nor, thankfully, bare. What do you know about Bare Woman Kickboxing?

[Fargo stares quietly off into space, reliving a flashback. Is that a grimace of pleasure? Of pain? Both? it's too hard to tell.]