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Funny one liners

Marriage through the ages creates new reflexive responses, for example it was only the other night the wife panted that she was so very hot, so I turned on the airconditioner.

tags: attitude, marriage, puns, sarcastic, women
+1-153.36 % / 54 votes.

A nice Chinese couple gave me a very good camera down by the Washington Monument. I didn't really understand what they were saying, but it was very nice of them.

tags: communication, sarcastic
+1-153.36 % / 54 votes.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. Should have cooked it on aloha teperature.

tags: food
+1-153.33 % / 81 votes.

He's street smart. Sesame Street smart.

tags: insults, intelligence
+1-153.31 % / 286 votes.


tags: rude
+1-153.30 % / 93 votes.


tags: communication, puns, rude, women
+1-153.22 % / 100 votes.


tags: kids, money, time
+1-153.22 % / 100 votes.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

tags: insults, life
+1-153.22 % / 100 votes.


tags: communication, dirty, health, sarcastic, sex
+1-153.19 % / 126 votes.

I can't jump over a cow, but you should check out my calves.

tags: animal, puns
+1-153.18 % / 71 votes.