Category Archives: grainfree

Low Carb and Paleo Slow Cooker Beef Stew

Raw Ingredients

Beef stew to warm your body and soul as winter fires warm the background.

Stew is a tasty and warm meal you share with your fellow humans, especially with the holidays upon us and friends and families gathering to share their favorite recipes or newly discovered stew ones.

This savory stew feeds a whole slew of people, but can also be reheated and eaten over the week for enticing mouth pleasure just for you. This stew gets even better over time as the flavors get more and more time to mingle. The radishes are the nutrient dense replacement of the potato, and with just a few carrots you get a burst of color without too many carbs to switch you out of keto into hibernation mode.

Food Stare

With the winter cold seeping in through the doors who wouldn’t want to hibernate

Oh yeah, all of us with jobs and school. I’ll remain in keto mode for the rest of the winter most likely, especially with final examinations upon us college kids. I have to spit out my educated words onto papers and bubble in the correct letters in a month or so. Because of this I’ve also been keeping up with my gut flora and having some kombucha or pickled veggies every day. Your gut flora has to be nurtured fellow humans, just feed it what our ancestors have for years and you’ll access the memories of ancient pasts (kind of…not really…with maca I do hear people chanting around campfires and feel very connected to the cave though).

This soup has no stones, but if you were to eat this stew with Stone Soup cuddled into your lap with the stew next to you and a fire crackling the night sound waves, then you might feel a true soul type of comfort. Also I might have to join you because that is now my fantasy night…kind of. We’d also need avocado brownies and cinnamon spiced kombucha.

The Taste

The meat gets so deliciously tender while still having that rip into it texture we love so much. The radishes lose all their raw bitterness and turn into delicious soft mouth morsels. The quality of your ingredients gets to come out one by one and bite by bite. Excuse me I have some stew to reheat (in either the slow cooker or in the oven).

Beef Stew Raw Ingredients


For the Meat:

2 LBS Stew Meat (Grass fed and Finished, I trust my local farmer or Wellness Meats)

1 Teaspoon Salt

2 TBS Avocado or EVOO Oil (for frying)

Stew Ingredients:

2 Large Black Radishes or 2 Cups Regular Radishes

2 Tiny Carrots or 1 Medium Carrot

1/2 a Small Onion (Different Carbs in Onions Chart)

1 Clove Garlic, minced

6 Cups Homemade Veggie or Beef Broth (I used a homemade bone and veggie broth)

1 Tablespoon Worcestershire or Coconut Aminos

1/2 Teaspoon Dried Rosemary

1/2 Teaspoon Dried Thyme

Tablespoon Fresh Parsley (optional)

Couple of Sprigs of fresh Rosemary or Thyme (also optional)

Final Beef Stew


  1. Let meat rest for 30 minutes because Alton Brown says too (more thorough and even heating essentially).
  2. Coat the meat in salt and rub it in, then sear the pieces in oil until just brown on all sides (do not overcook).
  3. Chop up Radishes both as slices and in chunks for variety. Chop up the carrots and onion too.
  4. Add meat and everything else to the slow cooker and cook on low for 8-10  hours or high for 5-7 hours.

Visual Tutorial

  1. *imagine meat resting and seared pictures here*
  2. Chop up your radishes and carrots into various sized chunks.


3.   Sneak a carrot into your oil and then into your mouth.

Carrot Dip

4.   Add all of your ingredients to a slow cooker with some fresh parsley.

Crock Potted

5.  Store your leftover veggie bits in a giant bag to freeze and use for veggie broth later.

Veggie Bits


Tigernut Cereal (Sweetner Free, Low Carb and Paleo)

Raw Eating

Are you ready for adult cinnamon toast crunch?

People generally think cutting entire foods out of staple meals is so scary that all staples no longer fit into your red stapler body and it’s going to burn down. (Office Space reference, if you have not watched it then you have the Internet and thus no excuse not to. You can even leave me to go watch it right now…I’ll miss you though). 

For this body, food has never tasted so mouth dripping blissful. I love the way food feels and tastes going in me, and the energy it gives me throughout the entire day to connect to life in. 

My body no longer has dairy, fruits (except for bursting berries of mouth pleasure, lemons, and lychees), root veggies, sweeteners or most carbs. If you had told the high school energy drink’s laced in sour patch kids Ainsley what she would grow into she would have sprayed you with her specialty sour spray mix (it was marinaded in warheads).

If you meet me back then go ahead and say future me created an AIP cereal recipe on her little blog and watch me plotz all over you in excitement (I loved health even then, just didn’t think 3 energy drinks a day was bad if I still had spinach).

Now my throat burns at even the touch of soda but it smiles over organ meats and maca powder. The first time I tried maca powder there was no bitter, the ancient soul of my body knew it and I swear I heard my ancestors dancing and singing through my head. 

Maca Cereal MLM

It took many years to reach this point, and realizing more and more that I want every ingredient that enters me to benefit this mind. The idea of healthy was never gross to me. In fact, with those Monster energy drinks, or if I was feeling classic and cigar minded Red Bull, I would often still eat spinach at the dinner table. At first the stuff was gross, (as it is supposed to be as a bodily defense mechanism against poison) but eventually I favored it to most other foods. My body adapted and accepted every fiber of that green leaf. I also loved eggs, bacon, fruits in high abundance, cottage cheese, sauerkraut, and kale.

AIP Cereal MLM

Now I still eat eggs, bacon, berries, and have just added a much larger range of veggies to my taste bud reservoir.

All of the above words are meant to be encouragement for if you are looking at/wanting to change lifestyles, or have learned that you have to. Despite where you are in your food journey it is possible to change it and feel incredible while doing so, with amazing foods just waiting to be inside you.

Auto Immune Paleo (AIP) is an allergen free approach to the paleo diet and is used to cure chronic illnesses. The ones I care about are of the mind. To cure yourself of malfunctioning connections that lead to ADHD, depression, OCD, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, autism and all of the other mind illnesses there is ‘no cure’ for. All mental disorders actually can be seen, just in the brain, and most have nutrient deficiencies already scientifically linked to them.

Food was the only thing that cured them for me and the mental lack of control comes back every time I cheat.

It cuts out everything your body might be allergic to or is allergic to. This diet would make an incredible elimination diet if you’re looking to see what foods work for you. The elimination diet is a simple concept of cutting out the foods your body might not accept for a week and then bringing ingredients back into you one by one to see how you react. Easy concept but hard to do. Well welcome to AIP. Here is the list of what it cuts out though: From

 This list is probably the most extensive one I’d ever seen of foods to cross out. Actually keto was probably just as extensive but I’m too used to it to remember now.

Luckily there is a great new flour that is AIP friendly and is splurging out all over the blogger world. Tiger Nut Flour is the newest flour to cross them all. It is actually a root vegetable and is perfect for the primal mind since our East African ancestors used them as a staple part of their diet according to a recent Oxford study. This post is long enough though so if you want to know more about the tiger nuts click here.

My favored thing about the tiger nut is that the nut is so sweet you don’t need to add any sweetener to your recipes. For added sweetness you can simply add more raspberries or blackberries to this delicious cereal. 

To Be Edited By Abbey

The Taste

This cereal is so delciious to the human taste buds that my very picky twin said it was ‘really good’. Yeah. We actually fist bumped after I squeed in delight and she smiled as she chewed it more. Abbey is basically the person that tells me I’ve gone too creative in a recipe. Oddly enough this recipe is among the most creative when it comes to ingredients.

I personally love the stroke of maca into the flavor and the crunch of the cereal is exactly like cinnamon toast crunch pieces. Oh I’ll have to make a cinnamon toast crunch version soon. That and Frosted Flakes used to be my favorite.

Inspired by The Primitive Pallet Hazelnut Mocha Cereal:


Ingredients for Tigernut Flour Cereal

1/2 Cup Goldeen Flax Seed Meal

1/4 Cup Tigernut Flour (?)

1/4 Cup Hemp Seeds (?)

2 Tablespoons Maca Powder (?)

1 Tablespoon Ceylon Cinnamon (?)

1/2 Cup Full Fat Coconut Milk (Make your Own)

1/4 Tsp Vanilla

1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil (melted)

Best served with coconut milk <(^_^)>

AIP Cereal MLM


  1. Preheat the oven to 200 for a slow bake or 300 for a quickie…ish. (30 minutes baking vs 1 hr 20 minutes for longer bake. I prefer the long bake for consistent heating).
  2. Combine the dry ingredients into your food processor and pulse a few times.
  3. Add the wet ingredients: vanilla, melted coconut oil and coconut milk. Process until a dough forms, scraping down the sides when needed.
  4. Spread the batter out across a silipat baking sheet. The longer the dough sits the firmer it gets. I used coconut oil to spread it out evenly with no holes and as thins as you can get it.
  5. Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes at 200 or bake at 300 for 15 minutes then drop the temp to 250 and bake another 15 minutes.
  6. Take cereal out of the oven and cut into bite size pieces. A pizza cutter works perfect. I used a sharp large knife because I don’t have a pizza cutter.
  7. If any of the pieces are still poofy and don’t automatically break with pressure, bake them again at five minute and keep on checking every five minutes after (you don’t want to burn them).
  8. Turn off the oven and put the pan back in for 1-1.5 hours for maximum crispiness.
  9. Let cool (takes about ten seconds of blowing right out of the oven) before eating.

Visual Tutorial

Pulse your dry ingredients together in a food processor. Add the wet ingredients and pulse until it turns into a batter, scraping down the sides once or twice. Spread the batter onto a silipat with as few holes as possible:

Spread the Batter

Use oil if it begins to stick to your hands:

Oil to cereal time

Bake at 200 for 1 hour and 30 minutes or at 350 for blank

Remove from oven and cut into shapes (a pizza cutter works wonders but I just used a sharp large knife.

Cut Cereal Shapes

Stick the cereal back in the oven and turn it off so they completely dry out. This takes about 1-1.5 hours.

Once dry make all of the pieces cereal size with your hands and then put them onto a board and bring them outside:


Let Nodame sniff but not eat, she is not human:


Maca Cereal MLM

Nutrition Breakdown per 3/4 Cup

Tigernut Cereal (6 Net Carbs Per Serving)

Calories: 222.2

Total Fat: 17.6 g

Potassium: 159 mg

Total Carb: 13.3 g

Dietary Fiber: 7.2 g

Sugars: 3.3 g

Protein: 6.5 g

DV: Vitamin C 3%, Vitamin B-6 5%, Vitamin E 2%, Calcium 5.2%, Copper: 15%, Folate 5%, Iron: 17.8%, Magnesium 25.5%, Manganese: 2%, Phosphorous: 13.3%, Riboflavin: 2%, Thiamin: 10%, Zing 12%

Hazelnut Cereal (Low Carb/4.2 Net Carbs Per Serving)

Calories: 237.2

Fat: 20.1 Saturated: 8.3 g, Poly 3.3 g, Mono: .5 g

Potassium: 106 mg

Total Carb: 9.5 g

Fiber: 5.3 g

Sugars: 1.6 g

Protein: 7.3 g

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Total Fat:3.5 g

Saturated Fat: 0.5 g

Sodium 210 mg

Total Carb 24 g

Vitamin A, C, and Calcium 10% DV, Iron: 25% DV

Slow Cooker Apple Cider


My apple cider mouth memories entail campfires and tales of old.

I vividly have a memory of a man cloaked in shadows telling us stories about olden men in spurs galloping across the planes with nothing but grits and hardened cow meat. They rode horses into battle and  streamed alpha water across the lands they conquered (think about it). He was a prop at the Christmas time of Fredericksburg, Texas, but I soaked up the memory as a happy one nonetheless. We sang carols on the bus rides to and from the little tour, and then would go to a light walk that had a little hut with elves and Santa. The first two or so years we snuggled into Santa’s lap and told him of our gift wishes. Then when we no longer wanted to sit in an old bearded man’s lap when year three came.

The best memories of these Christmas trips, and the most vivid, are of the campfire.

Cider Staring

Not because of the stories but because at the end we would get apple cider and cookies. I remember wishing he’d speed up the story just so I could cling to that warm cup of cider while my body shivered at the cold until the warmth flooded through me. The cider was sweet cinnamon with apple tastes and the cookies were also warm and served by an older grandma looking lady. I let her adopt me as a grandchild and we whisked off to cider land. I came back just to share this recipe though…kind of. Actually that wasn’t true at all. Also Santa might not be real.

Now that I’m old enough to create my own cider and bring it to upcoming Halloween and Christmas parties I want to have a cider that sticks in friend’s and families minds just the same.

The largest fulfillment a human can have from creating for people is when it also nourishes those you love. This apple cider is controlled by you and thus free of anything to be scared of. Unless of course you want a Halloween version. Then you could use some as the liquid in a Halloween cake. I’m working on a slow cooker apple cider cake soon 😉

Currently all the friend’s I’ve shared this warm liquid love with have also tried to get me to adopt them. That also isn’t true, but I’m sure it’s because I’m not old enough to look like a grandma yet. When I do though I’ll set up campfires and serve this cider with almond butter cookies.

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms


Slow Cooker Apple Cider Ingredients MLM

3 Cinnamon Sticks (See notes)

6-8 Apples (See recipe notes)

1 Whole Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Sliced Ginger (Optional)

1 Teaspoons Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Allspice (Optional)

6-8 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)


  1. Rinse your apples clean.
  2. Chop up your apples into fourths. Since they’ll be strained out you don’t need to deseed or destem them.
  3. Put in all of your spices into a nut bag or tied up cheese cloth. You can also just toss them in and strain them out later.
  4. Cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Go for the low if you can for maximum spice infusion.
  5. One hour before finished use a hammer or solid object to smash the apples against the side of your slow cooker.
  6. Wait for the slow cooker to cool (or use oven mitts) and strain out the spices by ladling them out through a cheesecloth or even using a colander set over a large pot. I’ve also used a tea pot by ladling it into the tea strainer and working in batches.
  7. Store in the fridge or on the counter (mine has been on the counter at least a week).

Shhhh My Cider

Fantastic Pairings:

Serve with:

A Cinnamon stick

Gin (My Favorite)




Turn into a Cake


Types of Apples:

You can use red apples for a mild flavor or green ones for a more tart flavor. I used a mixture but think a pure form would do really well. Will report back.


2 sticks will also work, especially if you plan to serve it with a stick of cinnamon. I just really love for the cinnamon to be brought out.

P.S. You can hide with the cider and I won’t judge you for drinking it all.

Hidden Cider 2

Visual Tutorial

Add Spices and Apples to your Slow Cooker (or put them into a nut bag)

Apples and Spices

Fill with Water (use feet to tilt the slow cooker for better lighting)

Apples and Water MLM

Slow Cook on Low for 7 Hours of High for Four Hours

An Hour Before Finished Smash Apples into the Side

Thor Apple Smash MLM

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Simply Raw Chocolate Recipe

The easiest chocolate is one part cocoa to one part coconut oil, but it can be taken further. If you are looking for a more solid and moldable chocolate then this recipe should fill your mouthly desires.

I would tell you about all the benefits of the raw goddess but I’m a bit queezy feeling today and I’m sure you can Google.

For me it’s just because it tastes like goddesses having a mating party on my tongue.

There is this method called tempering where you bring the chocolate to 150 degrees and it will stay more solid at room temperature, but this step is not necessary when it comes to taste. I have not personally tried tempering the chocolate due to having no reason to. At some point I’m sure I can bring it up to a little higher heat though and will report back.

Simply Raw Chocolate Ingredients

Chocolate Crumbles

1 Cup Cocoa Paste

1/2 Cup Cocoa Powder

1/2 Cup Coconut Oil

1 Teaspoon Coconut Sugar or Erythitrol (or more, my taste buds are off when it comes to sweetness)

1/4 Teaspoon Salt


  1. Take a double broiler, or a saucepan with water in it and a bowl on top, (you do not want the water to touch the bowl, even at a simmer as it will burn the chocolate).
  2. Bring the water to a simmer (do not let it boil) and let the cocoa paste melt. This can take about ten minutes so constantly watch and stir. Youtube and Instagram are acceptable distractions.
  3. Once the paste has melted stir in the sweetener and salt.
  4. Let the cocoa rest for about five minutes/until you can touch it without pain.
  5. Use your hands and mix the cocoa powder and coconut oil into the paste.
  6. Pour into silicone mold of some sort (I used a loaf pan).
  7. Either let the chocolate become solid in the fridge or let it sit out at room temperature until it becomes solid.

Simple Raw Chocolate Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Pumpkin Innards Smoothie

Oh my bliisgore it is October! The people are allowed to be monsters and the monsters are allowed to be people. Halloween has been a favorite holiday inside me since I stopped crying from Hocus Pocus and the Boogyman in Nightmare Before Christmas. Those genuinely feared up my dreams for years with Jaws receiving random invites. The rebounding badassery of not crying apparently led to love.

Pumpkin pie is a top mouth love and will have to be recreated in keto/paleo form soon, but for now I’ve only had two pumpkins and the puree is awaiting potential pieing in the fridge. Avoid cans for now since the fresh stuff is piling out of the ground. It is time to embrace the pumpkins, even their insides, and even if you’re not a lady.

Oh and right now is the time to get your super nutrients all over your insides with the flu rattling around. I swear it’s nature’s form of turning us into zombies. The highest antioxidants are actually found in certain spices. Just you know, clove, allspice and the other common pumpkin spice ingredients. 😉

Pumpkin Innards Smoothie

Pumpkin Innards Smoothie Inner Ingredients:

Inner Strings of Pumpkin

1 Cup Almond or Coconut Milk

1 Avocado

1 Teaspoon Coconut Sugar or Erythitrol

1/2 Teaspoon Pumpkin Spice

2 Cold Brew Coffee Cubes


  1.  Scrape out the pumpkin innards with your hands and set the seeds aside.
  2.   Put the innards into your blender along with the other smoothie ingredients.
  3.   Blade swirl all of the inner moments and pour them into a glass.
  4. Roast the pumpkin and seeds for the future.

Besides, you don’t want those unloved innards to come and haunt you 😉

Haunted Pumpkin

Deeply Chocolate Raspberry Macadamia Cups

Chocolate Drizzled Me

There’s a one to one ration that gives you a five minute quickie with mouth bursts of deep chocolate. Deadly darkened to only your desires with sweetness dripping from your fingers.

Coconut oil to chocolate. No melting required. Nothing needed but your hands and a combination of wet dripping oil and fluffy cocoa powder. Two on two melting together. Hard powders and oils to liquid mouthbliss. Then off to the fridge to become hard again.

You can take them back to room temperature, get your hands wet in oil, or not, and mold them all over again the moment you are wanting or lost in cravings. Then you can add raspberries, blueberries, cinnamon, snozberries, any mind desires.

I could really use some chocolate right now…or other things. Or both. A chocolate massage bar recipe is coming soonish.

So about these better than Reese’s mouthgasms. You basically take a 1 to 1 ratio of cocoa powder and coconut oil for some incredible deep chocolate. Some people can’t handle it going that deep though and need some practice. I added a half teaspoon of coconut sugar to my 1/4 cup to 1/4 cup ratio but you could also add erythitrol, go black and never come back, or even increase your sweetener.

The best part of this recipe is you can mold the cocoa and oil together and add just a bit of sweetener and increase it from there. You are in complete dominance of this chocolate. You could even take half of the batch with sweetener and the other half without sweetener and every day sample a bit of the darkness until you can go further into its depths.

Final Dark Chocolate Raspberry Macadamia Cups Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

The Taste

The advantage of getting into deeper and deeper chocolate is you get to taste and feel the maximum amount of pleasure chocolate has to offer. Earthy sensual notes that pair well with coconut sugar’s earthy flavors very well. If you layer that pleasure with macadamia butter then you’re just going to mouthgasm all over the place. The raspberries are optional but they add a bright crunch and fruity moment. Seriously though. Put these inside you.


1/4 Cup Dark Cocoa

1/4 Cup Coconut Oil

6 T Macadamia Butter (or any nut butter…or jelly…or anything your mouth desires)

2-3 T Raspberry Pieces (chopped up frozen raspberries)

1/2 Teaspoon to Teaspoon Coconut Sugar (paleo) or erythitol (keto)

Silicone Cupcake Molds

Choco Cups Real


  1. Mold the chocolate and oil together with your hands until they melt into chocolate.
  2. Mix the chocolate with raspberry pieces.
  3. Press the chocolate to the bottoms of your silicone molds and up the sides.
  4. Pour in your nut butter or mouthly desires.
  5. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
  6. Cover the filling with chocolate.
  7. Refrigerate again for 30 minutes, or just eat them now.

Notes: The chocolate still stays solid at room temperature but does melt easily into your hands. It is still delicious but to keep the shape you will want to leave these in the molds or leave them in the fridge.

Visual Tutorial

   1.   Mold the cocoa and oil together

Chocolate Mold

2.   Mix in the raspberries

Raspberry Add In

99.   Imagine the rest

Raspberry Chocolate Macadamia Cups Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Macros: Makes 6

With Erythitol:

Total Fat: 21.8g, Potassium: 59.5g, Total Carb: 4.6g, Dietary Fiber: 2.9g, Protein 1.7g

Net Carbs: 1.7 Per Cup

With Coconut Sugar

Total Carb: 5g, Net Carbs: 2.1

Kale Chip Chicken Nuggets

Zombie fingers 2

I‘ve now had dreams of chicken nuggets spurting out the silver waste of unicorn blood.

Once you start sleeping in a hammock your dreams become as vivid as reality and so little bites of chicken, even in imagination form, caused the feeling of killing my favored horseish creature. We’ve leaped through Erasure’s voice in Always and believed in Schmendrick together. I thought my mouth was banned from chicken nuggets for life to avoid mind trauma.

This all spurred from watching Cooties, a comedy you can’t deny your mind of. This movie was so aware of its audience that it flawlessly brings out your chuckles right before soaking them in gore. Gore has always been more personally enjoyed than suspense or ear shattering music to me. The usual horror tactics work very well and I wind up jumping or…kind of…growling at the screen.

Cooties drops the common horror act and replaces Daniel Radcliffe’s horns with Elijah Wood’s hobbit gone…actually he remains pretty hobbit like. Jack McBrayer is still the gayest stereotype we’ve grown more sick of than the sickness you feel from the baby that gets bitten in this movie.

Yeah. Try to prepare for that mind trip. I’m sure Jorge Garcia will even share his shrooms with you.

Along with What We Do in the Shadows and It Follows this movie reminds you that there is more to movies than Failing Four and Jurassic Jupiter (because Jupiter lied to us about being able to rely on it too). Hopefully Cooties is still in theaters when you see this, or available on Netflix, because this movie is worthy of blisstons of praise and even kale chip encrusted recipes.

I‘m a variety human so I baked half of the chicken and fried the other half. I also coated half of the chicken in crushed up Kale chips and the other half in pork rinds. What? I’m single. Let me have pleasure.

The kale chip crackings were the most mouth soaking but pork rind fried chicken will always have its place on my fried chicken.


Ingredients for Cootie Free Chicken Nuggets:

The Breasts of 3 Chickens Cut into Two Inch Chunks

Enough Pickle Juice to Fill a Bag with 3 Chicken Breasts in it

(Quality of pickle juice matters, I go for TJ’s crunchicons and just pour out enough of the juice out to fill the bag and then put the lid back on and store it in the fridge)

1-2 Cups of Avocado Oil (or any frying oil)

4 Oz of Kale/Pork Rinds


2 Oz of Kale Shreds (I used Bombay Curry)

2 Oz Pork Skins (go for softer pork rinds and discard and super hard bits)

Final Chicken Nuggets

Prep Directions for Both the Oven and The Frying:

  1. Take a plastic bag or any dish that can hold things and put the chicken breasts in it.
  2. Fill the container with pickle juice and let it sit in the fridge overnight. Then go sleep or watch Cooties.
  3. Do not rinse off the pickle juice. It makes the kale chips or pork rinds stick to the chicken.
  4. The next day savor what you have watched and cut up the chicken into 2 inch chunks (or leave as strips).


Pan/Cast Iron Frying Directions:

  1. Coat your chicken chunks or strips in kale chips or pork rinds or both by pressing it deeply into them.
  2. Coat the bottom of a pan with enough frying oil to cover half of a chicken chunk.
  3. Fry each side for two minutes and remove from oil.

Oven Directions

  1. Set the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Let your oven reach 400 degrees (about the time of an ARAM).
  3. Either toss your chicken in oil now then coat with kale chips or pork rinds or both, or coat them and then put the chunks in a bowl and drizzle in oil.
  4. Lay the chunks on a wire rack and set over a baking pan, or over a cupcake pan because you didn’t feel like finding a baking pan.
  5. Bake for 4 minutes and then flip and bake for 4 more minutes.

Baked vs. Fried

(Fried on the bottom baked on the top)

Fried vs Baked

For Avocado Mayo:


1 Avocado

1/4 Cup EVOO (list of lying ones here) or Avocado Oi

1/2 Teaspoon of Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Pepper

1/2 of a Lemon’s Juice

Sriracha (optional)


  1. Process ingredients together or smash them a lot with a fork.
  2. Drizzle in sriracha.

CHickeN nUggEtS


Depends on what Kale chips you use but according to all but the vegans/vegetarians/calorie counters this is healthy.

cootie-free-chicken-nuggets 2