Tuesday, July 16, 2013


This is me on the LOW SUGAR VEGETARIAN DIET. Sixteen pounds lighter and digestively glorious. (TMI. I know.)

But as I mentioned to friends on Facebook, it's not really accurate to say that I'm eating vegetarian, because  that would imply I'm eating vegetables. I've found lots of ways to not eat meat that also don't involve eating vegetables.

So, instead of being a vegetarian, I should say that the amount of pasta I eat makes me a pastatarian. Listening to Bob Marley while eating pasta makes me a pastafarian.

I've gotten to enjoy Mexican food with cheese enchiladas and chips and queso, and chips and salsa. That makes me Tex-Mexicanarian.

I've really embraced the flavor in jalapenos (especially on pizza) to give my new meals a little kick. But sometimes I overestimate how much heat I can take. That makes me a "Oh-shit-that's-hot"-inarian.

I've also embraced the glory of the grilled cheese. I use one slice of American and one slice of pepper jack. It's REALLY good, but makes me feel like a kid again. That makes me a "I-want-my-mama"-inarian.

Eating healthy can be inexpensive, too. I've been eating my pastas and fruits during the early bird specials at a couple of local places. That makes me feel like an octengenarianinarian.

And then sometimes (most of the time), I'm lazy. I open up a can of Bush's pinto beans and put a little cheese on top. That just makes me...gassy.