I’ve found the greatest piece of literature known to man. More coveted than the original bible, more controversial than the Da Vinci Code. The greatest piece of literature in the history of the universe. In fact words themselves were created just so this novel could be one day born! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you…

Star Trek: The Next Generation & The X-men: Planet X!

Ok long story short, drove to Borders to see if they had the Serenity Graphic Novel, which they did, and then as I’m wandering round seeing if there’s anything else worth buying I spot this on the shelf for £4.99. I almost didn’t buy it…but relented. I mean honestly, how could I resist what is essentially canonical bad fan-fiction?

Basically, a planet that is allied with the Federation starts getting it’s own “mutants.” Just by sheer coincidence a few X-Men turn up on the Enterprise, apparantly already having met Picard and co before. And then they decide to go and help the planet wit this “mutant” crisis. Cue inavsion of planet by mysterious aliens somehow linked to it’s mutants. Oh and Picard is apparently falling in love with Storm.

Mental, isn’t it? Hmm, maybe it’ll be revealed that Picard himself is a mutant. Considering he was born in France, but reads Shakespeare, drinks Earl Grey and speaks perfect “proper English.” So he’s either a mutant, or a some kind of fraky “Space French.” It’s also implied that Storm and Picard spend the night with each other which is quite freaky because several times it is commented how much Picard and Xavier look like each other, and Xavier is basically Storm’s foster father…