« Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

EXPERTS ON EXPERT: Jennifer Newsom

2019-07-04 | 🔗

Jennifer Newsom is an American documentary filmmaker and actress. Jennifer joins us on this episode of Experts on Expert to discuss her documentary The Mask You Live In, the value of teaching empathy at a young age and the fear surrounding the toxic masculinity conversation. Dax wonders what it’s like to travel with secret service and Jennifer discusses the increasing need for “feminine” traits in business. The two talk about conscious capitalism and the role both genders play in building stereotypes.

But one by one only knew full well come on welcome the word. As is going to rise. We are or an pagoda with name this pagoda overlooking Lake Michigan Ivy like were in Hawaii. I think we're in Heaven. And I'm getting a lot of those hawaiian songs in my head, where we heard some at the beach last night we got, although that will now be well very similar happy is barely or actually less. There was some Matthews absolutely. There is some way alone, but there were a few Hawaiians, I'm the one so Bobo today we have Jennifer knew some in the reason that we have her primarily is because we talk incessantly about the documentary the mask you live in a talks about
EL gender roles. Masculinity ass. He allowed me femininity, CNN many meaning yeah. She made that documentary. That's right. She made that documentary. She also has a new documentary called the great american lie. She has just said, hated her life to really trying to make this place a lot better. She's also fun fact mare aid to California. Governor Gavin knew some who I find to be one the most handsome guys out on the political, circa, yeah you're, really attracted to hand on very, very dragged him he's gonna Real Kennedy. You know vibe beds, neither here nor there Jennifer knew some a great hang and I hope you enjoy. She is today's expert on experts we supported by a majority you, I hotwire, DOT, Monica hot water, as you know, is a travel booking website that hides hotel and car rental names until after you book. So you get extra
Ordinary deals are extraordinarily low prices and it's like a fund. Surprise mystery. A mystery than I'm always delighted with the present inside hotwire is a wonderful place. Sometimes they think about trips long in advance, and I planned well and maybe get some deals with. There's a lot of last minute travel on doing and hotwire excels at getting these four star hotel rooms at two star prices? You can get up to fifty percent off hot rate, hotels and car rentals on hot wire, hot wire hide the hotel name until after you book, you can still book with confidence, because you'll know customer reviews story. An neighbourhood all easy easy. Hey big on your next trip and had over eight show tee W. I hotwire dot com. All so Jenny
you're. Welcome to the attic I dont think we ve talked about a documentary more than the mask you live in and we talk about a lot of documentaries ban. We get sprang up We love there. Thank you. Some at the kind of cool impetus for a scene was we interviewed, Amy, humor, me humor, and I got into a sticky situation. While we were talking about violence against women by women are afraid a man I said, men are afraid of men. I was molested. I've been beat up by step, as were all of that percentage of men who are violent like in them gets wayward for women? We both laughed. I was like you know what I'm gonna do it. Our wives manner thing we're like she brought up something like we are too I suppose it just yes, let's just focus on that. So I called her own poligized for that and she's like I Lee belittled what you went through and then two days later she takes me. You must watch this documentary, the mass you live in and we promptly did Monica
Kristen, I'll watch it together and we talk about a non stop on I'm here, but we're really gonna talk about today, often about midway through, I turned to monitor, in prison. Unlike what a fucking cliche, I am so once you list the ways to win. Manhood humanity fighting yup having sex with other people yap and we're consuming alcohol, yes make money. Yes, that was the road map and I just worked as hard as I could to get all those things accomplished. But how could you not because that's how we are says I Yeah send the earliest of ages and we revere men who have athletic prowess sexual conquest, financial dominance right I'm sort of the embodiment of this hyper masculine arm. Tat yeah keeps being reward, and the election sort of is a mere reflecting back to us, our cultural values, and I think, for the first time, people like oh, is that what were telling,
boys and men to be to be really convenient. Easy to blame him for own I've done that I was but love an example is an exemplary. I mean he's just one and it's all of us, but if we back up to one I'm ten years old- and I am going to the movies I'm watching Arnold Schwarzenegger, this man can barely speak English. As I stated in his way, he doesn't need to communicate because AEGIS, kick analysis and open deeds and everything's fine, and you like that, seems the easy way to do that. So ever have to admit. You're scared, dont be vulnerable. Don't talk a bunch just get into action. Handle it. So that's been happening in happening and ever what did you study at Stanford? I wish I studied anthropology. I think I started down that path. I was a human biology. Matron them came a human biology minor, but I ended up with a focus on the rural development conservation policy. Ok, it was just this circuitous path. Then I went to the business school, but I think all of my studies and experiences have informed my passion
Why and where I am today. I was always focused on helping women and their families, and my work with cars patient international in Africa, Latin America and then back its aim for business go. The drama department was right next door and I sort of was pulled back into humanity and understanding people's motives and that sort of human experience, sin journey and then down in the industry- and I was here for a little while before I met my husband, I notice that dearth of women both in front of him behind the camera and that's my first sort of like there's nothing wrong here, which informed that making a mistake. Temptation which looks at the under representation of women in positions of power and influence in the media's misrepresentations of what it means to be a powerful woman and that led to the representation project, the social change organism, and I found it which led to the masculine right and drawing back the curtain on its that are girls and women are suffering, but so too
our boys and men, and that we have a boy crisis in our country. Right so was difficult for you having been appropriately so focused on the feminine issues, to force yourself to be and pathetic and sympathetic to what males go through the great question, because we get stuck in who are fighting for and often miss the fact that everyone's kind of a victim of some variety. If you have enough compassion people, I fuckin I'll, see some guy in the street he's acting like such an asshole. Our memories of that dude wants to be loved by as many people as past she's a choosing the worse approach possible. His motives are guaranteed the same as mine. He would like it that everyone liked them the so hard to see what I'm witnessing shit. I don't like I would say the journey for me- was I've always loved man. I was pregnant the sun at the time that I have started researching the masculine and I grew up in a family, five girls, so
I think I'm one he and I had a certain socialization growing. I've always loved man, but also was curious as to why men did things that were harmful to themselves or others and had embassy. But really didn't understand the depth of the boy crisis. Right really wanted to unpack and TAT was really the birth mask eleven, I mean with Miss RAP. I would be in Abu Dhabi. I would be in Singapore, be all over the world and people office. It would thank me for making misrepresentation, but they kept asking about our boy a man in noting that they were suffering and how can we help them be a part of the larger cultural equity solution? The people were basically asking you. Ok, look at the other side to four yeah. You know it's funny that I find this out. Despising, mother, It sounds into girls when the mask you live in premier, people actually didn't wanna hear from me as a female, filmmaker or the mother of sons. They really wanted to hear from men o interesting, which is fascinating reckoning.
Uniform comes out- you want to talk to the film maker, and there was a little of that. What I love was, I felt like the foam was able to uplift all these incredible male masculinity ease experts who maybe haven't gotten a lot of play in time and attention because their minorities in this world of Our masculinity unit are trying to say that men don't have to be that way, what wars, the coaches name. I found him to be one arm, and I'm just thinking Joe, is a perfect example of honour to be the most compelling, because I'm always suspicious of people's messages read out against this is by nature. You're telling me some position you have, and I am naturally thinking. Why do you have this position and what your agenda? What ulterior motive might you have? There was some in about that man for me, I was like this. Isn't a guy who fell left out by all the other boys is not. He has an axe to grind against. You know toxic masculinity cause he was picked on or something like that.
Let him I'm like. No. This person is going to be very objective about this. We have looked into giving him a guy he's so wise. You have to have him on the show, because he's just, beautiful human being and he speaks with such knowledge, and ways. So many people he and a shanty branch who did the mask eleven exercise in the school and EAST Oakland. Ah ha the young boys and masking their sort of the protagonists of the stars of yeah, which was really beautiful, but I still thought gosh. We still don't, get women's intuition or power as mothers to share means the observation of raising or socializing boys into man. I go back to that thing that I just was like. I shouldn't be surprised by because the way we sort of De Valley, women in the feminine and larger culture, and that it was interesting to me that no boys men they had here from a man who and hear it from a woman right, which is just fascinating. I can tell you and a globally part of that for me- is
men have been raised by women forever until recently are people co, parenting any significant way. You saw dad. Maybe four votes, minutes in the morning. Then you saw many he's pissed off at night, and that was that so the I'm represents almost vote regular source of criticism, rules everything there like their tasked with so much I'm very sympathetic to my mom single mother raise three of us fuckin hard job. So by other. If you're a man you're like a wait now, moms gonna tell me what it's like to be me now, I'm good, so I can relate to it. I didn't mind at all, because again I dig that my mom's about us, but I see that Lydia why some people might have been like. Well, let me it's also just mirror neurons like two bits of man in front of a man there like that's something I relate to you, don't really get a clear, not me, but he's me there's something a man,
there is a limit to empathy almost like yeah. You look like me. You understand me all the same to the letter that the problem we have in our country may now I e ass yet less well, it's so dense it so complicated. There isn't a black and white anything about it, which is why interests me so much so, let's walk through something actually before we do boarded mom. Do my mom was a stewardess an entire designer. She started the children's Discovery Museum in the Bay area, unlike tech at home, at school, I did not want her to work outside the home who, due to raise as five girls he was an embarrassment, bankers, Leah Investment, wealth manager, and try to retire times and my mom sent him right back Little did anyone know, but she really was the boss, ha ha, and my lost my elder sister you did and what a daisy was eight. I was a few days for my seventh birthday accident
part of it are. My husband knows. I have a anxiety, sore and, of course, my seven year old Son is wild brave, doing dangerous things it's just very physical and very confident and very catarrhal, but gap. You follow Chelsea hand Learner. I love her. Her brother died when she was at hand, Enshiu adored him, and it's easy to think what it does to you, but it impacts your parents so much you have kids, I have just been lit. I can't imagine continuing on if either of my daughter's died there. I am right everything but mom and dad stayed Mary it's very rare, very painful for them. Little Nordic the denial repression, nah move forward, have more kids a little of that, but like we don't need there be right, which is why I think I started telling back into a sort of the
its inhumanity cause. I was like: why need therapy I mean this is Goin away is not going to idea. Do you have survivors guilt in the traditional sense? I have survivors girl saw hand. I think it was just a few to go where my mom and I were in Montana, where my pants the right now I think I've had my third or fourth child and I got sort of choked up there and I was like mom. I am so sorry there and she was like I'm so sorry, she took responsibility but shut down, and I took responsibility and send it was like we kind of. Both took responsibility now that the other one was in pain and suffering, Bertha yeah quota as he was born here, you're. So right. If on my watch, my for your old lost her older sister, the amount of I would take on about. Not only did I just experienced loss, but now somehow I failed her, but she can talk.
Little bit about it now really strong did she have aspirations that she regretted not pursuing and she told you girls. You are not doing this. What I did my ma am always raised me to be a leader. Her father was in the air force and they left all over the world going up. He was so the mayor in a small town in Montana. One point, so I think she's always sort of like loved that and been excited about that I am by men. Urgent, also through just my own, or of advocacy in that world. I also think she was conflict and torn has a being the generation where you stayed home and you raise your cat said: there's been a push. Poland, I've definitely felt judge the time sure am but have also felt supported its not been without the hurdles and paint point to my mother's hardcore, feminist, I so see where that was a huge burden. On my sister because my mom accomplished all this stuff in spite of
being in a very massage monistic world, with a very massage mystic, dad who is still great loved them. Our grandpa My dad who, as I know, you're gonna, hang at home and I'm gonna go sell cars. She did all this. In spite of all that, so now I think my mom subconsciously was like ok, you know better become president be, which is that our unfair for any child to inherit their parents aspirations is just a little bit tricky yeah right. Well I'd just releasing tonight or done the great american mine. I think a lot of us are kind of unearthly, this sort of comprehension that money and power isn't everything at the end of the day it's about, relationship. That's about love, it's found, empathy, autonomy and this should that's free
RO, straining here. If we thought that the nation, I'm hoping that we can all be a part of this large and they ve been kind of come back together and find our common humanity and recognise that we have so much more in common and then it's out all this terrorist acts that yes, what start at the beginning. The first thing that out of the gates in the mess you live in, that both Monica were like a wow We would not have yes that in that doesn't sound right is they gave a cycle. What you call a value waken to ten thousand girls and boys and come to find out that the psychological profile is like ninety percent overlapping right that there's only really ten percent different between men and women, and it's like five percent on either shoulder of this bell curve that right there was like. Oh, my god, is that even possible, because I am a big defender of like no boys like what they like girls like that, the Ngos can try all you want. We put
Fuckin girls in a room, and some boys put trucks and dolls is gonna happen from the get. I've always been the kind of of that opinion, and then you walk us through okay. Well, if we started ninety percent identical what happened, so these general stereotypes that we think of his like guys aren't is empathetic is women, which I certainly have thought that my wife she had. She has the police, her empathy, you see a commercial and then she's, fuckin level. For half hour. I watch it like you out of my hands camp change. It better now move on to the next right and I'm on others, some different physiological about us. So in your film boys we kind of beet empathy out of them yet at the earliest of ages. From studies indicate the boys upon my senses at birth and girls, and that we certainly out of them. I can attest to from two boys and two girls. My sons are more sensitive,
more emotional, all concerns that were made, but mine, you boys, are more physical than the girls. The girl behind us tat there and the boys are constantly moving spectrum everybody would have on that spectrum somewhere, but the boys are so attached to relationships are really really important to them. And when those relationships or fraud or broken or vulnerable their emotional in ways that my girls, you know they might have a little outbursts or something but they're they're steadier, and I'm not really interesting idea. It is. I could list all the many things that are agreed First and foremost, I didn't have a dad around. So I was definitely like whatever the group of boys said was the benchmark of being manly. I got it from those guys. I fought, but I was Tariff I'd like you was all very scary. None of it was ever not terrifying, and yet
I remember, being very emotional. My best friend broke up with me in a way there was no conventional way for us to address that lay I continent as a boy been like, oh my god, I'm so sad. I miss you and why are we friends anymore? I would have been a fag. We had already been step warm yeah. I just want to say that when I interview young boys and the experts who I also interviewed, who have done on this research onion boys, these boys are desperate for internet relationships with others am with themselves and we are socializing that out of them were asking them to cut off their has from their hearts and deny real feelings, real emotions and denying parts of themselves, and so it's not natural. What we're doing them right and how many of these middle school boys that have interviewed are a feeling like they can ask other boys for her. Peggy aunt, I express their love their affection and they also are kind of. I thought this was really
interesting and we're irritated with the pressure to objectify women. For us these are schoolboy. Thumbtack met. They were like too much too soon to fast. I just want to be her for right and I thought that was so beautiful horse, the centre of everyone, but now the boys, I interviewed, that's how they felt and I felt like market end Our team in industry and adults aren't listening to those boys who just on a bee boys and just want to have real relationships. They don't know how so what's wrong fastening too, as I was aware of it, but it's not to you like laid out words. The worst thing about They can be. Is a girl so you're, acting like a girl, you're being girly you're running like a girl you're, throwing like a girl, you're a sissy, and then the only thing worse than that would be that you're gay. That's like the a bomb if your boy, so what happens to you subconsciously was so my blowing to me to think about is if the worst thing in the world you can be as a girl. Then clearly, girls are below us. It's like no one.
Sir said he girls are less than us. By saying the worst thing you could be as a girl, the told me their lower than stray units that hierarchy yeah the hierarchy of our gender values, though to be strong and mass comes on top and to be feminine and supposedly week is on the bottom right, sir. I ve got you of that, always that are gay and girls, and people of color, unfortunately, in our country, right now are perceived as less than or inferior, Ivan changing, obviously with younger generations, but that's the historic socialization that we ve all been confronted with, frankly, not just harming our boys and men, but harming us as the largest society yeah, because we have this stupid hierarchy, the privileges the few and harms the many you're. So few people can achieve the thing they're supposed to achieve Ultimate alpha status. Who you know the president or the this or the leader of the debtors, odds wise? That's a very
low percentage occupation for anybody, yeah, you're left wanting to perform masculinity ease, and it's just this conference are striving to pay of your mask enemies and its exhausting the hour, and it's not that trial and we are being presented this and I remember as a boy going I'm different, because I feel sad and I miss play an I'm this, but everyone else if to believe everything I mean told I'm the odd one out. It's probably all the boys are feeling that way like. Oh everyone seems to be cool with all this, but I'm not, but I guess I'd better shut up and you now ok. I agree with ninety nine percent you'd like married, so phenomenal. Here's some interesting debates that have come out of it does have recommended that a lot of people we'd know, watch it and many of them have you. Recently. Women lobby is more polarizing for men. Other boys and men upset it's change their lives and their relationships with their fathers. I don't doubt that at all I mean probably them
profound moment for me, is enough the guys in San Francisco and prison other somewhere in the Bay area. Yes, thank Latin, saying Clinton Gadget, Offenders understand have been released, oh really so cool love any moment where you see something you like their different. They look different. The me they're imprison very the enemy. That's why we are pleased that where we have prison there, the two on their faces. There I'll be bought them us about their cello doubt or their white nationalist out there they ve embodiment of whatever one's afraid of, and then you hear them start sharing and to all the sudden be so heartbroken for them and why either there without taking away like, of course, what they didn't deserves. Punishment and they're gonna pay that Malta, but defined within that compassion for why they in it up. There is my favorite color right to take and then I recently saw no documentary one if you ve seen it was on frontline. It was about this doctor who was praying you mean reservations, you like it
Oh, I know who you are. You thought I wanna hear: oh my god, so I'm watching it in this fuckin guy he was a doktor which they can't get doctors, these native american reservations, unity. It access to all these boys. He molested hundreds of boys and what source becoming obvious in the documentaries like there is almost no one to interview of his victims because they're all in prison, and when they show the boys that are in prison. They have met tattoos, their built, like cambric shit houses. There scream to the world, don't take advantage of meat, don't take it abandoned me. I am not going to be a victim. Look at me. I'm scary, stay away. I was like oh, my god. They didn't have a shot. They know where mass killings are weird word to use. Will let us say, for the sake of this in the conventional way, to rob the kids mascot. Right out of the gates, the attempt to reclaim it there only so many options to do it in their so extreme. There was a slight,
All this was so predictable and especially for kids, a color re, aha grandkids because they don't have the traditional path to success, would because we have a system that punishes them. But only banging, because their born in as it could wear their schools has done, is in great and was now ladder to opportunity. We don't have an uncle. That's call on in a favour to his body, TAT Interview, you there's no net whatsoever yeah, so all that to say love that part with the prisoners. As I found myself like wanting to hug every one of those guys so much either way. Meteor and I remember going there in someone's like an JANET. I just want to remind you they murdered and the funny thing is. I was tackled there actually healthier than a lot of men out there, because they ve done the work because they ve sat in a cell and they ve done, though work. They read the books, they ve studied they ve meditated I've done group therapy and
really hoping the best for those who have been released, because I think that they deserve a second chance. I think everyone deserves the second chance. Yes, ok now, here's the part that I wanted is open up the debate. Yes, if I can hit a switch on them, We click to Utopia, I'm all in for this, and let's have boys b is vulnerable and emotional, and all that is possible and non violent. I love it lets flip the switch now shorter flipping the swift we're not this way by accident. We men here for a hundred forty thousand years, a hundred thirty thousand of those years. Other men came the camp and try to steal the women and the kids men had to do Some gnarly shit, do gnarly shit. You ve got to create compartmentalization in their heads so that they can go into his own words like the about to hit another procurement in the head with a club to protect all these people. So that's, what's a little bit interesting about the Cycle
Google Profile and us be ninety percent the same because we have been tasked for the vast majority of time we ve been here with doing the really ugly, crazy shit, it's a little deceit and now go great. We appreciate that. That's how it was forever. But now it's not know till it. Let me try something and see if this is a solution, a kind of what you're sharing so we're living in this modern era where the transformative leader is embraced, the leader that's more common in a collaborative oriented, more empathic, oriented in a glow, economy, you need people to be able to multitasking need that sort of less I load thinking night, my load thinkings gotten us to a lot of trouble Wall Street. Look at the traders. The tribal is one thing that we found historically as that, because women have been socialized and portrayed roles that were more communal and relational oriented, and because of the nature of having to manage multiple things at the same time that those skills,
sort of rising as necessary. Global economy. So it's me or that the conditions while living in right now I requiring men to evolve, and requiring women to step up into leadership, so their requiring man to not be so silos and requiring women to actually perhaps be a little our style, a hood so that they can lead re right, because I think what we found is tat. We ve been missing. Men's voices at the tables of power and without feminine voice, which obviously all men have whether they're using it or non. Without that feminine voice. We ve gotten into a lot of trouble, Rang Rio, YO, YO and Anon, combining, which is why mise some serious? The trilogy is combining the things that the different thumbs and kind of pulling them together, which is just the recognition that we're all born with the mask on unfeminine in us and its.
Helping the man who, frankly, are suffering more now, because their missing the relationship there. Wanting that relationship there wanting the care and empathy and relationship their children- and you know the madman errors that didn't make them happy either left with all their secrets. They don't talk to him the body the ran on early in, and so, whereas women well, ok, I've got to run down. I actually have much more to contribute. Here's the conundrum. I count my lucky stars. They don't know boys, I'm so grateful. I have girl because Dax Junior comes up. From school and he's been pushed down in the hallway five times by the same guy. Everyone laughed at em all this stuff. Now I from my experience, the choice that Dax Junior can make is spend the next ten years giving that treatment may or punched. The do does it'll stop. I would I would struggles so much with the right decision, because I think, obviously, the few
there is no violence. Utopia doesn't have violently. I know that I also. I don't want my son to be the sacrificial lamb on the transition until utopia. How do we navigate that? It's all one thing for us to recognise how this is working and see the problems, but an elementary school. They don't give a shit about what we discovered dear hateful words and doyen, isn't just something that in both experience, ray and obviously, yes, we save Were girls engage and physical violence when it comes to the future, I think there's a lot of work incumbent upon all us who have sons. I take this very seriously because I have physical boys who pick up a steak and it's a gun. Of course, I'm not crazy about guns. My son hunter will be a hunter discloses Jose wrong name. If you do, I know I totally did I that's what happened? It was my favorite name, you just like honour green. I examined
I'd love Hunter Green, but a hunter he's out there with a bow and arrows my data Montana, and he seeks adventure and he's that kid, and so I'm trying to teach him responsibility and at some point soon learn proper gun ownership and management and safety item at the earliest of ages. That care is not an attribute. That's relegated to women that I gave him a doll when he was a little kid. I taught him to be a doctor hunters that was all about if anybody got hurt, where's the ice where's, the bandaid and I go out of my way to hug ham and hold him and show him what healthy relationships look like what empathy looks like for me. I know he is who he is. I accept that I embrace and island gets. My responsibility is apparent to teach him the care to teach him empathy and so far as pretty good kid. You know people say he's polite he's super kind. And that's what I think we have to do than our little guy Dutch, so cute these three, the other day When you make a bunny has. Can I have someone like shorter
and then he was ask me, questions camera motorways was like a to pressure, something about like which, when do you want the pink or purple unease like will. Thank us for girls have to correct that right up no actually, but you can have the pink one, and so I just let them explore Andrews, be human. I think that's, ultimately what we need to do with all of our kids. Like you have your. Others are driving. The Duma used condemn baggies raised to be. Human beings are just raise an m to be fun to hang out with. For me, it's all very soon so far as at the end of the day will just want to raise human beings that can get along and have fun and enjoy life, and they are part of a community me. Ass they too diffuse there. We are
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ok. Now, here's the other big debate that happen. Guess I think one thing that was DA the documentary, as this isn't gonna happen from boys, changing solo right, there's an interplay of boys and girls. What ever girls are picking are what the boys are gonna be here, so it's one thing to say, like no cry and the playground be sympathetic. All these things in never a girlfriend that won't happen, so my wife loved gives. I guess we should resolve boys this way and I like honey, that's great! You married a fucking guerrilla, don't you, people are examining conversation ones maiden, aunt, Rachel, Batter Diana and neither was married to another fuckin six foot reactor whose step so, if your pic alpha studs, it's not Can it be easy to convince the boys below us that now trust it along work out. The girls are gonna, pick you it's rewarded by girls by society, but also by girls, and I have just made
but the little. But I know about you in this part cats, and what I know about my husband is: there is Empathy Newton Dunn, nurse heart there, so you can be assessed. But if you also have the heart and soul the debts and you stand up for them. To our most vulnerable and you out. What in our society? I think that a win win are due to that's a really cool thing. You're doing it. My daughter's school, a thing called abstainers kids get enter awards like the causing me currently as someone who would get involved with the situation and diffuse, and I'm like oh yeah, that's a cool solution does to ask the two people who are emotionally involved in the conflict to be rational is a little a pie in the sky, but to train the community to get in All that seems like a viable solution. I mean I, Oh you already know this, but it is not your guerrilla hey view. That is the attractive part of you to Christa. That's not why she married you. She married you because of all
these other elements of the empathy and the sensitivity in the introspection and those things, in probably same with who, I think, you're Talkin bout, the six foot, three persons, I mean I was doing my husband's really attracted boys so and he died. They never he's on the ground playing with the kids this morning. He was playing a sport. Our daughter at like seven thirteen, which I was really into fits, she was out of my hair and I was like that so sexy in Father is sexy, being present father being present, homemaker is really sexier, I mean obviously, sometimes when I hear him speak, I go home. I really love you, I'm proud of you, but I really love who he is inside. Yes, but I do think that second gear stuff. So yes, that got you d Mary? I don't think so, because they're not observable out when I gave these we, your point is well said. I think that's women have makes two priorities. Justice men have makes the priorities and I think something
I want to marry someone who's rich is going to take care of them we're dating guys and if they had a lot of money. I ran the other way I just felt like I was a piece of property or meat, and they really maybe I'm comfortable here. So I think that's a problem in our society, I think, is something we have to address. I meet. How many people and I've met the guys that are already a kind of talking down to their wife in this not, and it makes me so I come from an area the worst we just have to do more. I think with future generations been and what do they say? It takes twenty years to change culture, no crime, What kind of in the beginning stages of having a national conversation around toxic masculinity lie? Think it's really shrinking, though, is happening so much faster. Just get the mere fact that people are in trouble for what said six years ago, which was totally vine six years ago. Yes, we're moving so fast. The people are real time getting caught in a different cultural air yeah. No, no. That was fine. Five minutes,
No but I'm cool I'll change. What yeah I did do that five minutes ago and the pendulum always swings in sometimes its wings too far knights, and I think that we're going to find our way, hopefully back in the middle and a place where men and women and all of us can be human beings and treat each other with dignity. Respect and be. Our true sounds but lead more with our shared humanity and not being a stereotype. Yes, in again I'm gonna, probably make the same mistake again for the twenty ninth time and but I will say any solution that involves one person, I'm apprehensive about it yeah. So the movement is toxic. Masculinity, first and foremost ninety five percent of boys. I went to Elsie schools. Many five percent boys are sweethearts. There actually not raised there. The victims of the five percent Letterman Big Alpha, jock whatever's.
So already, it's like a whole are now many these boys. Her already can want you often the visa. That's not really that fair and just the notion that the whole thing isn't one organism. It's one organism say when people I'm gonna treat my liver, no you're, not you're gonna dizzy treat your whole body. I always am a little scared when it's like, which is why the cultural back. Yet we don't get a fix boys, maybe you think he's always in girls. We gonna fix our whole thank gas territory, but also this was part of making misrepresentation matters. I mean we're both tranquil official. We are applying rules and we have to just shed the roles. I think, if you just look at elect of one thing, if you isolate just sexual, EL, the how sexually has changed since I graduated high school, so I'm a a european men, be honest all the time I listened like twenty seven year old, guys share about hooking up with prostitutes,
Have a penis in boobs there's no declaration of like I'm gay, I'm straight I'm this sum that a minute transom not into this I've just been observed like while that changed quickly. An interesting Lee like for these group, a guy's they're, just sexual or not sexual, might include a whole bunch of stuff. So in that way the conventional role, thank God his kind of broken down, and then I think that can extend out to all these male female masculine feminine, like I'm hoping all that becomes a little more fluid anomalous us by an airy, yeah I've just tying it tastes like current events in an how afraid some of those men might there are must be. They're not liking. How quickly were changing low, trying to hold onto the old guard and you old, when the old roles of women at home and men at work and people as like either this type of that type, but not the fluidity, won't with good reason, their several things. One is we all look through, Memory with a rose tinted viewpoint, so we all church our childhood for whatever it is like.
I would be defending the keep single mothers steps, a thing because that's my child and and I loved me my deal it feel alone. When I grow up, it was like this and was simple. We all crave simplicity and no one to be taxed with working out nuances difficult here. So I understand the appeal of it and I understand the kind of nostalgia of like knowledge protect something that got us Your tone we have made a lot of progress in this place is a good place again. The fear of the unknown changes carry for people, and I think what a lot of guys or hearing is that you'd they're, not gonna, be allowed to be guys see. I think a lot of these movements really suffer from bad brandy. Yes, bad advertise. Yes, I agree is brought over reason. The dubious kind of greater and share the bastard. I really good at it. Yes, I can see words being perceived as toxic masculinity hold on ok, so the things I like or toxic or the things I'm drawn to. So I think people start with a fear that, like you're going to try to take away the things I like, as opposed to know we're going to try to add all this other stuff.
And hopefully through adding all this other stuff yeah. I think it's gonna make everything a lot right. Size looks like, let's add empathy, let's add tenderness. Let's at emotions- let's add localizing your fear, I'm not gonna. Take football away from you. You wanna play football, go crazy. I think people are hearing, you can't drive a truck anymore or you can go hunting anymore. Why are so I just wish it was branded better and sold better in didn't trigger a defence of feeling that identity now is at risk. Yet I agree one hundred I'm happy to work on the brain. With their great I'd, have opportunity because I agree that look as raising conservative household lot of this is Miss communications. Understanding, labeling stereotypes, all the stuff that we kind of have to disrupt and recreate the US to your point that I'm not at council guerrilla.
What I'm trying to shares like? No, I do all things and they really like all these. Other yes and it's not taking a toll on now is not the toxic part. That's the thing! That's the thing with white privilege to people get defensive, they're, not hearing the real truth of what those two things mean they might hear a phrase and then we act that is so yes branding, as is good, but It's also a matter of just not wanting to hear what that really means. Being masculine isn't toxic these that this these aspects of masculinity are Toxic toxic masculinity is a value system that about power, control dominance and aggression. It's not being dignified it working hard being respectful caring for your family, your community, those are beautiful attributes of being men, but toxic is really when it's taken to the extreme. You no story
harassment and women abuse of women. The business dealings lying cheating, you no bad business. That kind of behavior the bowling threats the demeaning knots toxic ratio, the Viking use a single word to describe. All that would be dominance like valuing dominant isn t be dominant over this. Examining reoccur dominant, put football field dominant here, dominant dominant alma yeah. Yet that is seen as some in appealing twin at all costs model. Yeah any young boy in search of empowerment could see dominance is the matter by which their measuring that power you now anxious terror. On not advisable. Now your new documentary- let's talk about that, because another topic that really fascinates me the great American lie- is mostly exploring income inequality that just an element of it s, basically a nurse our cultural.
I use that I've gotten us to this place where we have as much social economic aid, quality and immobility, as we had right before the great depression and as well. Out of all this, we have a crisis of connection when the top point one percent own as much wealth, is the bottom. Ninety percent theirs think wrong rang and obviously, when you witness the divisiveness and our society socially and politically, culturally, if we were to breaking point, I suppose Plutarch said that the end of civilization, as you know, it is when you had these huge gaps between the rich and the poor, so the home, is really a wake up call. We follow five characters across the country on their journeys, exploring the systemic inequities that are del from these sort of mascot most value system and their communities and we provide inspiration, and a path forward in the third act. I'm really proud of it, oh god
long. Did it take you to make it started, making it when I was making the mask you live in because it was sort of to me, the third film in the trilogy that looked at the social, political and economic ramifications of the US dominate or sister living in this. I per masculine country and dollar, as is kind of typical, I guess with documentaries, earth and my eggs. Against. I ended up then putting it to the sign finishing the mask. You live in and then kind of reconvening with different characters, and I went deeper. To the south in the MID west after the twenty sixteen election. Now what I found fascinating about the broken ladder was. It would be very easy to just go monies. The problem the whilst the problem, but the very first chapter in the book, is about statistics on aeroplanes to have all the data for over ten million flights brain in the rate by which a violent? Honour will happen in the air within the cabin either first or coach.
Is three times higher when people have to walk through first class. To get to coach interesting is twice as high if they enter in the middle of the plane and turn left to go to first class and right to go to coach than then the baseline, as if there's no division in so he said This is really easy to think of is a case of the haves and have nots in the have nots have to witness the haves and then they feel less them, but he's like that's not even story. These are not the have nots. An average flight is three hundred fifty dollars. People have time to take up work to fly in travel. This is the hand as in the have moors, is hasn't even I have not so right, there's no real objective way to analyze it. It's all comparative guess, that's words dangerous! So another great bit of data was people who feel poor achieved
I was level educational achievement, the lowest income. Now there are many people who are objective. We poor, but there's no example of anyone rich around them or wealthier. They dont suffer from that data is feeling poor is much stronger than being poor. May I dont think the left or Has the answer the left's, like watches chop it all up into a patent divide. It even like that to me not solving- and I don't think the rights give us all that either with well the naked lift them up by their bootstraps and be rich themselves. I don't think that's it either right, I think, there's a mental disease, that humans have that. We compare ourselves to everyone around us and I will go to Robert Donnie Juniors House and I look at my wife, hunger. We are flat borough. We are embarking on poor, you know like yeah, that's the game, we're locked into and I think that's baked into capitalism and I think from baked in advertising and it's it's the fuel by which kept Elizabeth running idea and I dont want to dismantle
Listen right, but you could have conscious capitalism there. We got way where love it. You said the hull comparison bit because Joe are many we're talking about earlier, who we love from the masculine love on his beautiful quote that he has. Is that comparisons that thief of all happiness year and my ass my talk about that a lot we find each our children that my little guys long, some of those turbine connive at your big, looked What is gonna like again to your point, advertising capitals and the whole thing, but so comparison is that they form a happiness, Raj Studies, research, unveils that does it could that you're born into and the family that you are born into the large determinants of your destiny. Only seven percent rise from the bottom economic quintal to the top economic went out but the runs. The latter have gotten so much wider that it's so much harder right to get to the top, and even if you were of the among the seven percent that quadrupled the circumstance you came from and you came from a household, sixteen thousand, that's great. You ve, quadrupled in your just a lower mental
We, as a society, have do unkind and home in on those occurs in particular, and provide more wrapped around support to those communities to ensure that children have the best opportunities might to fulfil their potential and that families get the right support. So what we're trying to do in California, through the governors office and the family. First agenda is really kind of wrapped around four. I think, on how we can support parents in some cases with social services like the Urn income tax credit, as an example of a refund for those in the lower income bracket or pay Family leave all these sorts of ways that we can be creative and think about addressing the affordability crisis in California, for example the US and what we and also do is go K. These are the zip codes where the schools are failing and what kind of support can we provide to the educators
the children in those communities such that we address the readiness gap right, not just the opportunity gap. And the readiness gap, actually even is my husband championing- is like prenatal care. It's nurse on visits as all the things to make sure that the mother and the family get the best support early in life, so that the children, DR, are you there's a crazy data right? If a kid sits in a deeper like if it didn't kids diapers only change Once a day, they're gonna be late. Iq points a lot like there's just others crazy what the nurturing that early couple year, yeah results in how critical to rhetoric heads and make sure they have the best child care at the earliest. Just tell me all about again, which is a luxury if you have wealth, whereas by the pain point. If you're not working ray jobs and living in an apartment you can't afford. I am so overly aware of the fact that we have money were married. My sister is full time with us. There am telephone.
Your heart is far. I now know everything at my disposal. I like her. My mother or gas sixty five hours a week and cleaner housing cook and wash your clothes, which you we have our night, like it so hard said. Something I'm totally in favour of. I would also Are you even if you like fiscally consider that this shows very political, I'm not interested it at all and alienating any part of the audience, but I would say even if you're crazy, fiscally conservative right so many of these are wins for the economy. Lantern anywhere you look, it put the incarceration of hostages. People would have emergency room visits, homelessness. You look, you add that stuff upping guys it's a fucking bargain to investing kids totally. So you know their sat right estate spend on average forty five thousand two three or four two thousand a year, Carson rating, a juvenile offenders. They only spend eleven thousand dollars per kid per student per year- was right.
Four times more on average to donate a mom their spending on juvenile offenders. Yes, insane the ends. We all know you have to invest in children at the earliest of age when their brains are just farming. Those critical first few years are and you need to really prepare them. All of their senses provide the best nutrition. The best sleep, the best exposure to healthy natural environment right here to ensure that they got the best chance in life, the best start in life? Yes, why you invest in the beginning? It's gonna pay off and GDP growth, because he's gonna, be contributing. Citizens versus citizens who are dependent are unfortunately, perpetuating cycles of poverty because of their stuck. Yes, you know the thing, though, that Never seems to be a part of these plans that I wish were. That should all happen, that's great, even if the kids
rise out of poverty and they become super middle class. There still gonna feel poor. You know, I want a class, a mandatory class on mental health. Pursue you're allowed to compare yourself to earlier versions of yourself. That's it you're on a trajectory trying to better yours, that's it stay in your late. Look at yourself be a better you forget about early. There needs to be an anecdote too advertising. I dont want advertising going away. It's making this possible. You and I sitting here, it's fantastic. I love it but Unlike tv, when it was on the Public Airways and the FDA was, I guess, we'll let you do all this programming, but you need to do news, yes and you need to do child education. Yes, that's part of the you get all this shit, but you gotta do that. So part of capitalism is like, let's put some of that money into letting kids have some tools. To evaluate the ads their seen gas evaluate but it's doing their self esteem to. Let them know that that's happening gas every there's a day. The king
recently a friend that is over it cost permanent, a shared that the largest group of suicide to death currently are younger. I'm gonna get the stats slightly wrong. Monocle I'll bet. It's like. I took ages, nineteen to twenty five deserts. Prizes with social media and the other isolation, isolation. The anxiety, the depression, the memo, insects, anymore, opaque gap, though I was with some friends who are actually, women in the legislature who are now my friends, sharing with me that their daughters go to events with all their peers, boys and girls alike, and they Actually, human really stay at the event already go to they take selfie, and then they photoshop the stupid and posted. It's all. That's death, sure sure. Area- and it's not, I think now
I am all in. It breaks my heart here by my daughters. Are gonna hate, my guts? It's just around the corner from this. I have now got duenna, maybe when their forty will. Thank me on my death, but don't you I love their campaign. Actually, we want to use them the state level that around wait, two eight eight being eighth grade. I would even say wait like eleven or twelve at eleven or twelve, but which is really about not giving your heads access to the internet, a k not giving them iphones until their older, because it's the social media destructive will look by saying I guarantee you and your husband sit on the couch like each other, staring at your fucking phone, so he actually has seriously with me ever being on the phone and I'm like honey, really mad at him. You're like I'm, actually taking care of our children. I am actually arranging for the dog who has them disease to go to that. I'm late, I am being the person that takes care of everything you
other ants are doing your work, which is ok, it's important, that's too, but it is and we have this little thing about it. I can admit I am powerless, so over the stupid fuck in four by six thing in my hand, I've made my world for by sit here. I'm doing that if I dont have control over and I'm a rustling now control. How on earth is a ten year old and have control over how exactly it's like Jews will try talking like that, you're like you, I could manage it either also charge you can either. While look at those with no frontal cortex fuckin development. It is addictive and actually it's irritating to me and we have work to do to basically out what all those in technology now, which is why they send their kids to schools where Waldorf dieback, Earls, oh yeah and their children don't have access tell you bow forms of media. We
work to do and in part of it comes back to actually my earlier, which is conscious. Capitalism like how can we inspire and hope hold accountable corporate Amerika. Businesses across the country to create businesses and products products. Our kids, that on addictive that our hyper, violent and hyper actual actually are healthy so that their a social bottom line. There can be an environmental built bottom line. There can be a mental health bottom right, maybe there's no many other kind of bottom line models quadruple bottom line models? We just have to be more creative and we just have to commit the island I'll just be all about the money there in there This is a move in some cod conscious capitalism, some call it inclusive. Capitalism, but I know that that's where we have to go, I think how foreign you can do that I mean we have to wear the home of entertainment and technology until we have a responsibility, as California goes token, go the country I'll go imbued, chose to go by the first partner. Explain this to me please. So first partner is justified
stimulation of my work at the representation project, where we are basically unearthing and disrupting limiting stereotypes, gender stereotypes and norms. First partners, gender, inclusive and first partners nor expansive. So we will have a female governor someday owing I may only be take you governor. I got you and then I wanted to put out into the world because we live in such a rugged individuals to country that partnership is the way forward. Through partner, said we It will move forward faster, daddy and so first partners, where they are recognizing that it really takes partnership to be successful, and that's really what we're trying to embody in the capital. I love that exploiting sounds like by you. Not wanting to go first. Lady to me is implied that somehow Beam lady would not be desirable to
in Finland the blind yeah, no, I filled than the blank, and I was wrong. I right, but I love that that is more or less paving the road for someone else do not have to be in the murky territorial. What am I a dig that its debts? How will we will continue to promote for free at him ass? You live and we absolutely lover. We said it so many times that at one point we said we can't say it for I have to say that no thank you so much. It made an impact as well and its nest. There they're right, because not enough people have been sort of socialized to go. Oh, I don't have to be well. Culture is telling me to be. I can just be me also so good to meet you so nice to meet. You think he'll husband, so fucking, we're just when he MAR. I am like what Monica what's going on down. I raise gray he's raise the student. He, like we're, not really are easily.
Tonnes is why on earth are more about? His looks weird, you know he's like smarten, a good person here, yeah exactly it's time to turn the table sex. If I had take all my desire to objectify an eternal on man, he does have a superpower which is ours into that Motherfucker Taiwan, anything Z, just so good. Looking I'll just look at em and I might yeah I'll hang out, but another articulate delivers pack any delivers, but I am way more open than just stare at him talking because I'm so transfixed by his handsomeness in Monica. You are too don't even like his brain more than his day of horse without facing rate conduct that brain near inquiry will act as a good portion of us that actually like the brain and the heart more than the well look. Our killings
else in the German on. How shall we should be at the library is alive, ready, Prozac, the other girls I might as well get sick and echo guys girls, the guys I think anyone's orbit. Yes, point remains in the lasting having secrecy. Since the weirdest thing as part of its fun in the beginning, it strange he fell. Little bit uncomfortable are trapped, but then these, and women are so cool. They just become family, as everyone says, you really miss them when they're gone yeah really do really do you get attached. You gonna watch out you don't Come to look up. My bodyguard think I notice his handsome these very like cape,
oh, you know. I just want a cautionary and well set up. A lot of worship does have your guard up. Ok is good seed. Everyone in a bed, Romano, now of all that that fear was interact and other rural anything blazing. Should he tackle you out of the way of something there might be a moment in slow motion. We use you glanced up at me. Like oh wow. I guess I didn't notice eyes with a beautiful have your guard up a little bit. Ok, my little plea, we need more women and law enforcement. Yes, we can bring the capacity to defuse, which is so essential for their topic. Le talk about the escalation in defusing so crucial on the worst at it. Ok, thank you. So much with such pleasure talk, no aid is typically a town tonight bathing and care Now my favorite part of the show the fact check, with my soul, mate Monica Batman,
I have a lot of congestion, we're dealing with lots of pollen and allergens in the air, and even you are suffering I am, and I have no allergies. Normally I take pride in there I brag about you and your swore. You two are available in vulnerable to the pollen in the bounty of burgeoning. I fear on me: you got me these michiganders so this is not an ad is not a sponsor, but we're both pounding. Sir TAT, I D got that he would have met ass. There is as nice and makes a huge differences in the area and then what was funny is you can only by one box of something with suit of it and it yeah. So I had to use my license to get deserted d in you to use your license to get the elite daily and can only you can only by about one time per month itself,
Scully on time per month. You know they used to call that the cookers of math would send in a of people to buy up all suit of it before it was yet to show your license. Nicolet smirking Brayley, yes, I felt like you and I were Smurfit there is there. It is did you hear that rarely now boy really interrupted poor, beautiful girl, doubter say I What's your name, ass tat, who gave you that name, daddy high. I say I love. You complain the beach. There was a fun interruption. Yeah I get interrupted by the babies. Why are we talking about suit of her? Oh, yes, dancing smart. I miss duties, passees, one of them
and you show your licence at Cassius. They should act as the CDC or something and determine that he would die. If you had six hundred castle in a month this is why castles we establish increases crystals, I was I'm making a little bit, because I actually think that I bought the tsar, tech and in my head a few days- and I was like- I'm gonna- need more of that We were all sharing the up here and I was starting to panic cause. I was like, oh no, I can't get it for a month welcome to drug addiction. Yeah welcome new addiction. I don't like that. The panic, as panic longing also today weeklies birthday were celebrating a big day here, early stage to see J to see the braer exclusive club. Now to my knowledge, is only two people in Erin, I'm gonna say: there's morphine, I'm January's again or corn, yet to choose
amen, weeklies July. Second, and Sir a gay to see. I want the folks born in July or piss, I just can't it's a bad word here. I do think they feel like they might get Jenks jobs and also weaken if you were born in November and your sign was Herpes, I've no known wanna be a happy now and I ain't gale, although is Virgo, which is latin for papilloma virus. He now virgin over Virgin Bank Let us now and had not fun for your whole life. All right. You know sex has and so are Herpes, that's still
Burgos are not getting Herpes know, but what, if you know what they say and astrology certain signs are matches. So european, perfect, Mantua I'd, be ironic colleague trail. That's the way the world works works to the world's gotta sixth sense of humor, but are we talking about Jennifer Nuisance Jennifer? Was it a dewie absolutely how smart to an engineering and cycle about what the world than over achieve or, to say the least, yeah yeah, I felt a little bit about myself. The US by comparison, we fell under educated yeah scan. You know,
and for these to be my dream school I was when I was excited and out was going on you don't so we're I'd, never vetture size colleges growing up, but the one I thought I would want to go to a stand for railway here, because just my perception of it was I VE league, but Super Lucy Goosey lie like very progressive and not like Harvard wearing your vessel coat so probably because its West Coast Quest causes UNESCO. I suppose basket here, has caused me list misery caused goes now. I know what it meant I didn't know Harvard resolving EAST Coast and war sweater vast. I just heard that name. My grandfather, probably sub, I hope you go there and then I did I wanted to go there you're. My second stepped out, I believe
a light Stamford, he at that point was maybe the smartest person I knew her. Maybe that's all that has happened to you know that guy would so interesting about that guy, who shall remain nameless recently raised motorcycles in cars and was an engineer and various better learn. How goes it decided terrible? No at all, and I hated him again made of ethical become him. Well, you took the good parts, NEA yeah, by due credit him for teaching me how to think differently here before us. I think it's good to be able to take one another may take stinky old rotten were ache. Some also grown much more sympathetic to his experience, because the last thing in the world I would want is to be the step that a five kids I mean to have him where he is three were ass brown, yeah it's a lot as it shows that he did, but it's the Harvard edge
not the parent. You can't talk to me, when I talk to Lincoln or Delta. She went on that yeah like excuse me, dude, we ve known for eighteen months. I think I'll decide. You know my brother was a fuckin teenager, my rendering, no thanks pal That would be really tired. That's hard pass for me. I have a lot of respect for people who are good step parents and they need a lot harder shows. You don't have that genetic thing words like here: extra tolerant of their annoyance. If I your resolution on your kids, acting exactly how my kids at yeah derisory bonkers, bones my kids, it doesn't bother me as much as I have a genetic the limits of empathy. Yeah, but I think it also has to do with time spent around. I guess it's on the eight ten months: it's not enough tunnel is now it's like a word, but Lord Coralie embarked and of course he was there earlier. I and he put in the time, and he took her to baseball proudly in her there that's right in Amsterdam that Russia can be learnt. It can
One can develop, be learnt entered, so Just now I interrupted you're about to do a hawaiian voice, song yeah yeah and before we started this, you asked me to do it and I didn't do it Ah, you wanna do, yeah what you feel like you're gonna find no new hawaiians bigger. No nothing to do with that. Ok, it's just when some of the asking me to do you're right! I don't want to do it because there is no winning baloney, no they're, all loaning up hold them wrong. You doing why Song now would make me so happy. It would be a big when, if I did on my own you asking me to do it and then me repeating what you just did it's not aware, and sometimes you do asked me to do things like that, and I never do it and then I always feel like you think, I'm not fun warming, your question: how do you know it's not a win if you ve never done it. That's my question.
They'll say to air and do your thing any? Does it and then everyone loves and then Ryan do you're? Oh boy, we arrive in them. It's a big when people ask me to do stuff, that's two completely different for asking me to do something that I do not have. The joy is try that I think we get all these things is like we're all trying and for the first time the hop born a runaway was Ryan singing loud and arousing almond again that is shot yeah I know, but is it, was organic to you organically. You decided, I want to try it and then you did. He wasn't like Dax. Do that a rotten you did because then look to be honest if he did that right after he just didn't. He was super funny tribes. Ok! Well, I'm glad that you would, I think, there's something even deeper the peer pressure. Bigger its deeper than this conversation. Then, why do you meet with a vague longstanding thing you ve had where you do not adhere to peer pressure and ensure camp. You didn't.
Any now realise that maybe some more fun happened in that room right yeah. I don't actually regret that. I know you don't but you you have come around to think like our. Maybe I would have been fun well, I've done things that I felt peer pressure to do that. Guy was super, not happy. That idea, Oh really. Well, that's what I'm wondering. If did you have a very bad experience? use a came, the peer pressure and you go never again, never forget. Never! forgetting one tat. This is so stupid want em out at a water park, but my friend- and there was a ride I did not want to do and it was a big slide then dumped you into this world pool of water and you galloping spun round whatever, and I did not want to do. It looked very scary and like something I was not gonna enjoy, but then I did it because I felt like I wouldn't be fun. If I didn't do it to them
I hated dehydrated as those scared- and I was basically drowning yeah. So that's a pretty profound experience, that's very profound and act like I love Ah, yes, your kind of also then fraudulent yeah. Do you think you could potentially be a step in the right direction to try now really moon moving, only Javert obeys, so the rate of divorce after a child dies, the compassionate friends and organization that supports breathed parents conducted a study in two thousand Tax showing that the divorce rate among couples that suffered loss of a child is about sixteen percent words. I wall, YAP, Reclose, hurl but lower than
national Average, but on another site I was looking at it said in light of the significance of child death is traumatic experience for parents. Research on parental bereavement is more limited than might be expected, most studies have clinical descriptions of participants in grief, support groups will compassionate friends, so it is specific yeah. I would argue if you hear the type of person that found your waiters support group here, that a person's rights can also find your way to some marriage counselor and the other thing is our card. At the pessimists answer, the findings likely have been influenced by myself selection factors that led individuals to seek this type of help and by the participants experience in the support groups. Yeah. I know the rate for parents with artistic kids is like two thirds of them get crazy higher. I area very hard. Yeah tarred to stay together with that level of stress. I get it if everything's going smoothly, there's enough time for each other, then you add
something that is up in the resources and time caught coming from somewhere many fields guaranteed, because it should be that you want a partner. In handling something like that and Leah. Just doesn't pan out like that. I hope not to offend anyone who has an autistic kid. Then I'm presuming to understand something that I don't, but I would imagine a big source of the anxiety is: what should we do? What works better and it's so unknown, and it's it's not aside, and so now you have two opinions constantly on something that is really really hard to figure out your track. Is it the diet ever? Do we do this? Is that help yeah? Why did I Let him have the yellow PAN and he was fine that you know like all that stuff. He I think it's is fertile ground for a lot of anxiety and more opinions and not on confidence in
Blame, I think, there's a lot of happens. Sure. Ok, the frontline documentary that you watched about them. But of American older. That's called pressure on the reservation season. Thirty seven episode said really on the nose predator on the reservation that alley sums it doesn't have already. That was the unless there is like a large Savannah cat in the reservation like a lion referred made. If there is anything shy of that you're going straight to pedophile, I was thinking about this I was listening so you or saying that part of this need for boys to feel like they need to be tough, been strong and all of these things
Women are part of the issue. Girls are not a new issue, because girls, like guys Roque, that and seventy true, that this is in every one issue, but I think it's even deeper than that. I think it's that girls in high or type Melick high school age or middle school age or whatever girls, and I still want to be popular and so the way too. That is to be with the popular guy, the up absorbing their status. So it's all weird cycle cause they're, picking the popular guy, so that they can be popular, but it looks like their picking the tough guy sure instead of ball star. Yes, really they might not be picking up person because they, like those things they like that, that person has
status, so this is an image. Is an endless cycle, behaves like a wise that guy bore the guy's, also popular cause, he's getting the cutest girl and school, but that you describe how they just likes him because he's popular because of that yeah yeah, it's a whole problem, but I will say, as we acknowledge on here, a law. We are a very fluid mix of our biology and our culture and in then even those two things overlap in a way that you can't separate. But just look at birds Why are male birds prettier than female birds? The real reason evolution airily is that a bird with a very loud expressive pattern attracts more attention from pray so that the weird message being sent I do this loud dance and they call in their bringing so much attention in themselves from potential pray that the message being received by the female bird. Is there
abnormally physically fit incompetent, so there are a great match to have offspring with, because that child will be strong and fit yeah. So knowing that that's what's happening with birds biologically, I do think there is, Biological thing, that's responding to anything that is strong and fit for reporting, yes, I mean survival, it has meant survival for most of our time on earth. I know I just think were evolving out we're transcending what I'm saying. You can't delete the hundred thousand years here where your physical fitness did drastically impact. The outcome of your recent delete it, but we should also be applied against, but not in the fight against. It, be cognizant of the reality of to day, which is that's not true, that you, physical prowess, doesn't equal anything and its large. Doesn't your right? That's what cultures?
battling the genetics, I think air anyway, and now you want to get a guy who's. A genius computer program exam
heckling. That also seems like a terrible message like it seems like a terrible messages and like you should be big and strong. It's a bad message also that you should be a genius because people it is born smart Cannas. Liar too, I don't think you should be a genius, but you should be utilizing your personal scale to the max, like is that a lot of entrepreneurs don't have like up and saying I q, they re business, savvy org as some sort of creative, so I think it's just know what you're good at and then just double down on yeah. So you said that there is crazy data. If a kids, it's an diaper kids diapers only change once a day. They're gonna be eight IQ points lower, and I did not find that statistic that say foundation the first and works with yeah. I think eight is not true hire me. Wasn't I'm guessing. I don't know the amount of
So there's one study they examined IQ, reading, math and narrow, cognitive domains of fine motor skills, language, visual spatial memory, learning and attention executive functions in two groups of non sexually abused: medically helping neglected children, one with DS, am post, traumatic, stress, disorder and one without an demographically. Some more I'll, be non maltreated, control group significantly lower. I q reading math and selected differences and complex visual attention, visual memory, language, verbal memory and learning planning, problem, solving and speeded naming or seen and neglect groups. So damn you didn't have any points, but it's for sure, of course, real. An australian study of three thousand seven hundred Ninety six fourteen year olds found that those who had been reported as having suffered abuse or neglect scored the equivalent of some three. I Q points lower than those who had not been maltreat
but there was an article. I read also a bow sought: soggy diapers, someone ISA, I give up her. He saw these argues that it can affect their motor scale. Mean has it affects the way they learn to walk? We open their pay, and yet they were walking around the chief bonds and wet, but where goods him seated, hanging out point to my shows baby, Maybe a study on all those who want to see your point so much about these wet but cuts I bet, are he hasn't. I bet I should be the martyr. Certainly did you tell me but what that is, I don't think they now of easier point: the amusement park we went to his occurred in Sandusky, Ohio and, of course, their weekly went to town as a kid you're, but with sweat. So bad as you walked around this park is a huge pile,
can you running from ride during your butt sweating soup profusely? So you would go into the bathroom and you would put paper tell between your butt. Cheeks is like no parents were advising this. Just kids figured this out on their own yeah. I've ass, many people who went of cedar pointed out as a kid in. At least among the males, very common for them, but they Carly was saying she tried it though it may be tat in those Rob day the wetness in their let some point just create a cut out of nowhere and then now you're dealing with a very stingy cut in your back in the bathroom. The toilet paper does not work as its thinner than chrome just turns to paper machine in your bonds. Some gotta go at the very course brown paper towel Also my create cut the wet but cut a chicken The eye with severe weather hits the rough course paper towel or the frame. In sweat that creates the cap, for the cut is almost universal.
Everyone gets a wet but cut yeah. Not me. I've never experience that whenever the cedar point, but I have been to six flags as but all deploying over Georgia. Six legs overjoyed six legs over Georgia, but we gave a lot of thought that one theory, of course, is that you sweat laugh then ass in the bar, for whatever reason their genetic.
In the Netherlands and you didn't have enough but cheek to create the friction. I think that's probably accurate account big, but where we can, if we stay here long, no, I have a MAX yo Yo Yo Makin was, you did stir roads, there's no evidence there above steroids roads. So she said that her friends, I Keyser said that the largest group of suicide deaths currently as young girls ages, nineteen to twenty five. She said that she was most likely gonna. Get that statistic wrong. She did practice that I don't think that's true car, but then I did read and Time magazine this was this year or last year. For decades, a U S, boys of die by suicide, far more frequently than girls, even though girls attempt suicide and report contemplating at war
often in the suicide prevention world, the phenomenon is known as the gender paradox. The paradox still persist today, but new data published in jam and network open this time angry, and so I believe that we believe suggests the gap between male and female youth suicide death is narrowing or we're. Seeing is alarming. On top of the fact that females are thinking about suicide more in attempting suicide more now there actually completing suicide. U S. Suicide rates are rising across age groups and demographics. Any youth are no exception, but the uptake hasn't been equal across genders. Sir in two thousand seven suicide rates for girls ages, ten to fourteen began increasing annually by about thirteen percent compared to about seven percent for boys, fourteen they just fifteen nineteen rates among girls and boys increase by about eight percent and three point: five percent respectively. So maybe that's what she was talking about as it's getting much.
Yeah. It's some is growing at a double the raiders, something yeah. Well now you know, of course, and junior high school. We knew the kids that had tried to kill themselves and then they were generally girls who had try Leah and then there are a couple boys you did. Is that so horrible videos brains out even Don I now and now. Also, I learned in an throw class. It's also contagious there's like some really crazy phenomenon. That happened in two Hedy, I believe, or someone really fame, is killed themselves and then they saw this explosion of atoms. Afterwards is very sad that so it's like there's movements to not publicize it in the media, because it does have a contagious affect how things just I mean, obviously, psychologically you're not well arise contemplating suicides. Now, maybe when you see that, maybe it just feels like this was indeed it and they
much happier than me me out, so I shall probably go ahead. Varying I've seen. How do they do that? Three major issues I dont do it that was in others aside, but I bet I would love to find me will do next factor. I would love to find out if Heather's was so popular in the home movies about suicide. I wonder if there was an uptake there like leash at LA yeah. Ok, ok! So you say your powerless over the four by six thing in your hands, be my world yeah for by set me up it's it's not my sexier right here. What is it all? The galaxy TAN is six point, two by two point: nine to occur and smiling Iphone. Seven is five point. Four, four by two point: six form. With even smaller than I thought is the point. So even worse, I was complaining about its worth, making my focus a tiny
Why on earth instead of the planet earth around me, I now, but you, We haven't done that on this trip, which has been lovely yeah, because Thank goodness. We have no service. I really recommended people vacation somewhere where there's no sir. Monsieur real aid is no nice all I've loved, but the reason I knew that had to be wrong when you said it is because, as a four by six picture, I am very familiar with that sizes to do a lot of framing rivah. Will you will remember it? I love framework, your eyes. I love framed. Bread also answer them free. I really like you, embryonic your very hip to a four basic format and I consider it as well as the are. Is more. The rectangle then boxy, like afore bisection ants. Or a great, I love you, I love you.
Transcript generated on 2019-12-03.