Okay all! This has been bun1 but 5PM ESt is my cutoff. I'm dead. I will catch up on all the answers up until right NOW

Thank you all SO much! It's been amazing!

I'm a filmmaker from Canada but other than that I'm nothing special EXCEPT I am willing to answer literally every single question (To the best of my ability) posted here for the next few hours!

Proof: https://twitter.com/DavidJFulde/status/432872821291622400

Someone wanted a selfie: http://imgur.com/7ixCGKX

for some reason, people are caring about this. You should all go check out kiva.org because it is awesome.

holy shit. This is popular! I apologize if I skip your question. Reddit is only giving me 25 at a time. You may watch me answering these here: http://youtu.be/DiFyPTXRm5U

A little about me: I use Google+ because I'm, apparantly, a hipster. Favourite film is The Fall and have literally nothing better to do today!

People keep asking to see my stuff.... so...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3iVYgIy_A a music video I made within a week of meeting the artist for a competition

https://vimeo.com/62655035 A shortfilm I made, from idea to final export in 72 hours. My first time trying sound design!

http://pitchforkmachine.com A no-budget interactive music video



EDIT: Holy crap. I have to be the least important person to make it #3 on /r/IAMA 0_o to the front page! Thank you all!

Comments: 3064 • Responses: 113  • Date: 

ItsaMeMattio533 karma

What's your 3rd favourite colour? I'm not interested in the first 2.

dizzi800405 karma


ItsaMeMattio235 karma

Teal's a beautiful colour, worthy of 3rd place, but I lied, I am interested in the first 2.

dizzi800265 karma

Red, blue.

Colour of playing cards >_>

ItsaMeMattio132 karma

That's fair enough, but where does purple fall in the list?

dizzi800309 karma

Purple-purple? 28th. Heliotrope? 4.

ItsaMeMattio246 karma

After googling Heliotrope, I'm satisfied with your answer. Have a good day.

dizzi800141 karma

And you as well!

parrmorgan286 karma

fuck you Brennan! I know you touched my drum set and I want to hear that dirty little mouth of yours admit it!

dizzi800188 karma


vbb200260 karma

Who are you? I'm just too lazy to google you.

dizzi80068 karma

I answered this, but I'm looking for a certain comment and found this. Essentially: A nobody that got to the front page. I point camera's at things sometimes.

Stenbeezy235 karma

What good is being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

dizzi800195 karma


Deklaration199 karma


dizzi800187 karma


MustacheBananaPants195 karma

If you were going to rob a bank and could only arm yourself with standard items found at the grocery store, which items would you choose and how would you use them?

Thanks, big fan.

dizzi800309 karma

I'd probably use a cake saying 'Happy cakeday MustacheBananaPants' and tell them it was filled with nitroglycerin.

Fake_William_Shatner24 karma

How about, "My other pastry is not deadly"?

It allows you to insinuate a threat, and then have plausible deniability later.

And, while we are here, what cake do you think would make the best weapon?

dizzi80045 karma

Pound cake.

jpcrecom179 karma

When was the last time you masturbated?

dizzi800831 karma

3 minutes ago and 5 minutes from now

Targoloid163 karma

You gain the ability to transform yourself into a particular animal once per day for 30 minutes, whenever you want to. When you are in animal form you have no control over your actions, you act as the animal you turn into and have no recollection of the 30 minutes when you revert to human form.

What animal do you choose to turn into and why?

dizzi800298 karma

tough one... Hmmm... Slow Loris. I'd be fucking adorable.

SuperHeroLunchbox137 karma

If you could, would you? Explain

dizzi800254 karma

Yes. I like to try anything once.

djle12127 karma

Does it mean your gay if you get a blowjob from a man?

dizzi800332 karma


<Long convoluted answer about human sexuality>

Stebraul117 karma

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

dizzi800168 karma

Because english is awesome.

ObamaFalure116 karma

Do you like anal?

dizzi800195 karma

Never tried it. Don't know.

ObamaFalure84 karma

Good guy, he actually answered!

dizzi800165 karma

well, I said I'd answer EVERYTHING

Haiku_Description63 karma

What's your opinion on space colonization?

dizzi800249 karma

we have some earth problems to take care of first.

darrium113 karma

Do you think my decision to move out in 2 days is the right choice?

dizzi800268 karma

If you're wondering if it's the right choice, it probably is.

Unless you're one of my roommates in which case: No. You're staying, or at least paying rent :P

Targoloid112 karma

Man, everything in this thread is gold.

You could write it all down and memorise the questions and you'd be the best at casual conversation ever.

dizzi800111 karma

thanks? :P

thetebe107 karma

How fast can you solve a Rubik's cube? If not, will you learn to do so and come back and tell me in your next IAmA (depending on the success of this one)?

dizzi800248 karma

I can solve a rubiks cube in 52 seconds on average with a personal best of ~36 seconds

Blurkmasterjay132 karma

That was a surprising answer.

dizzi800220 karma

Have you seen the movie The Brothers Bloom? well.. I'm effectively Penelope from that movie. I collect hobbies. I'm also really good at sleight of hand/magic/flourishing have an above average typing speed and reading speed, know how to yo-yo etc. etc.

thetebe50 karma

That is good, OP. Ok, I am about 30 seconds up from your personal best with my personal best.

Next time, we both better be under 32 seconds. Game on!

dizzi80061 karma


MONKSFTW105 karma

It's always interesting to ask,Nicolas Cage,yay or nay?

dizzi800578 karma

Every actor is on a scale of good to bad. Robert Downey Jr, good. Jim Belushi, bad. Van Damme, the good kind of bad. Johnny Depp, the bad kind of good. Nic Cage is unidentifiable.

PiratesWrath83 karma

I understood that reference!

dizzi800223 karma


ichegoya104 karma

Have you ever looked through a telescope? If so, at what, and why?

dizzi800441 karma


the Moon

It's the fucking Moon.

lunchbockslarry99 karma

How many roads must a man walk down?

dizzi800172 karma


aeyrolet97 karma

If you could have any Dinosaur as a pet, which would you choose, and what would you feed it?

dizzi800216 karma



distopian_dream_girl154 karma

Don't you mean tree stars?

dizzi800103 karma

My bad.

Targoloid88 karma

Which drug do you predict will be legalized after marijuana has become globally accepted?

dizzi800179 karma

Legalized? Shrooms

Decriminalized? Heroin.

edolF80 karma


dizzi800280 karma


But I'm more of a personality man. Then an eyes man. Then lips. Then ass. THEN boobs.

opheliaPnis114 karma

Scoring points with the ladies on this one

dizzi800134 karma

I'm allowed to have a preference!

Unless you were being serious :P

August_28th7 karma

¿Por qué no todos?

dizzi8008 karma


titorocks77 karma

How big is your dingaling? If you know what I mean.

dizzi800118 karma

either 2" long and 2" around, 7.5" long and 5.5 around or 5.5 long and 7.75 around

titorocks90 karma

Why did I ask you this.

dizzi800175 karma

Nothing says I'm telling the truth about any of that. But you asked because you were curious. And I answered because I made a PROMISE

spamme77 karma

What is your social security number?

dizzi800305 karma


EDIT: Huh.. .Reddit blocked it. Neat.

Rthomas4875 karma

any funny moment in your past that you can look back upon and still get a good laugh out of?

dizzi800300 karma

From a post I made in /r/askmen:

I was walking to work and I saw a pretty girl and thought to mself "Oh, she's cute, and she has a dog! A conversation starter! Maybe I can make a new friend!" I walked forward a bit and saw she was currently in an active conversation so I decided to not bother her. I pass her and she turns around and goes "Looking good!" Now... I am not used to this sort of treatment. It is the first stranger to compliment me like this! I get all flustered and, instead of turning and going "thanks, you too!" I turn and I say... "Thanks! I like your dog!" ... I am not exactly the smoothest guy on the planet >_>

thetebe62 karma

Haha amazing story, OP!

The best part is that she's walking around with the story from her point of view, thinking you told her of like a brain ninja.

dizzi80060 karma

Don't say that! D: Now I feel bad! ha ha

Professional-Genius66 karma

Do hermaphrodites go to male or female prison?

dizzi800100 karma

This is a complicated question I am not qualified to answer. My thoughts:

If they are identifying as the opposite sex and are on horomone treatment, they should go to the gendered prison they identify as. More than willing to be educated in this topic though :)

psyne48 karma

I think you're thinking of transgender people -- "hermaphrodite" isn't generally used for humans these days, "intersex" is the preferred term. Intersex people are born with at least some aspects of both bits. Sometimes, especially in older days, the parents/doctors of intersex babies would decide at birth to surgically alter them to have one particular set of genitalia, but now it's considered mutilation to do that before the child can identify as a gender. That's also why some intersex people have to transition genders, because their parents chose a sex for them that wasn't what they ended up identifying as.

dizzi800101 karma

Thank you for the education!

I'll change my answer:

Whichever gender the person identifies as.

TheGramppa59 karma

Have you ever sent a girl dick pics?

dizzi80090 karma


morinecare59 karma

Will you answer this?

dizzi800123 karma


Penguinswin357 karma

If you could eliminate any number in existence, what number would it be?

dizzi800199 karma

Pi. Tau would take over the world like it should!

the_LCD_No_No54 karma

Would you rather have your penis the size of your nipples or your nipples the size of your penis?

edit: Grammer

dizzi80065 karma

Oh wow... This is though... Probably my nipples the size of my penis...

-_-MAILBOX-_-54 karma

What is your favorite playing card suit?

dizzi80073 karma


-_-MAILBOX-_-37 karma

Do you know who the king of clubs represents?

dizzi80068 karma

Alex the great?

-_-MAILBOX-_-33 karma

I think you are correct.

dizzi80092 karma

I hope so. I just put down the first thing that came up on google! because that would mean I'm just that great :P

Koeny153 karma


dizzi80090 karma

Finally! this question! :D

I'd rather fight neither since I'm not a violent person but I'd say one horse sized duck.

illusoryCognition26 karma

As a proud duck owner, I can say that ducks are machines of SLAUGHTER AND DEATH. If a duck doesn't want you nearby, they have three primary systems. They will either

  • Bite you
  • Hit you with wings
  • Claw you

Yes. Ducks have claws. Mostly for traction, but they can and will draw blood. And don't underestimate the force of a duck's wing strength. They use those bad boys to become airborne, and having something like that swinging at your face is not a fate I'd wish upon my worst enemy. As to the biting, it's not that big of a deal.

Now, that may sound survivable enough. But if this sucker's the size of a horse, we could be dealing with a creature more irritable than Smaug, and twice as likely to kill Hobbits. Also, approximately three times tastier.

dizzi80031 karma

In this hypothetical situation I would probably have a gun.


sumooqip51 karma

Anywhere we can see your film work?

dizzi80083 karma


I used to make something every week. Then I stopped :P

__alone__50 karma

How did you find out about Reddit?

dizzi800117 karma

I- huh... I don't know...

TheboredFace48 karma

What is the one question you really want to be asked?

dizzi80079 karma

How many times can you perform a gryphon roll in one minute

amperita52 karma

How many times can you perform a gryphon role in one minute?

dizzi80076 karma


supermerman40 karma

How did you get into filmmaking?

dizzi80068 karma

I dunno. It was time for me to go to college, and I was panicking and though "What makes me happy?" There was one, real, answer. Sleight of Hand. But I couldn't go to school for that so I thought back and remembered that I used to love watching behind the scenes in movies etc. so... I decided t go to Film School!

The rest is history1 I have had so many incredible opportunities open up to me. Best decision in my life I've made and it was made in like... an hour?

(It was film school or go to school for IT)

1990M39 karma

Do you even lift?

dizzi80052 karma


blaqstarr33 karma

How tall are you?

dizzi80051 karma


blaqstarr61 karma

Six-foot-2. I didn't know they stacked shit that high.You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?

dizzi80060 karma

Six foot 2 seems to be average-tall. Like... Most people who are tall fall in the 6 foot 2 range

Also, I'm pretty sure you are, quite cleverly, calling me a shithead. In which case Bravo. Bravo.

blaqstarr31 karma

sorry, i'm watching full metal jacket, go figure lol, my real question is what's a good movie to watch when it's 15 below? and are you a peter puffer?

dizzi80038 karma

Long time since I've watched the movie. Good reference!

Watch The Fall. One of my favourite films of all time. I think it;s on Netflix...

blaqstarr8 karma

what is the best sci fi film do you think?

dizzi80039 karma

Moon, District 9, Blade Runner, Metropolis, Akira...

djle1232 karma


dizzi80082 karma

This type of question is actually how they are testing quantum computers!

but the answer is 12 according to Google.

ReclaimingFebruary32 karma

Can you name all the German Kaisers in order, backwards?

dizzi80062 karma


NiceMeetingYou31 karma


dizzi80087 karma

unicorn farts

Totenkopfer28 karma

Read any solid books lately?

dizzi80052 karma

Recently finished the Wes Anderson Collection, which is fantastic. About to start the Jack Nicholson Biography.

Speaking of Biography's: Peter Jackson's is FANTASTIC

bobdebicker26 karma

You are the bravest boy I ever met.

dizzi80021 karma

D'awww thanks!

qrd24 karma


dizzi800223 karma

Not everyone is built Ford tough!

tragic-waste-of-skin23 karma


dizzi800257 karma

As much as it want's because it's not held down by your societal expectations.

Afterburyner21 karma

Do you ever look at what's happening in the states and just laugh and or feel sorry for us?

dizzi80088 karma

No, because I also look at what's happening in Canada and go "Ohh...."

JaguarJumper20 karma

If you had three spare hours with absolutely nothing to do would you reprise your AMA, watch trash TV, finally get round to tidying up or initiate something soul enriching?

I have a vested interest in this. I took the tv option.

dizzi80038 karma

I tidied up the other day, I'm doing the AMA today... I'd probably CONTINUE doing something soul enriching! BOO YAH! DBAG ANSWER!

verryexcerrent17 karma

What's cooler than cool?

dizzi80090 karma

Ice cold.

with a sombrero

__alone__15 karma

What's your favorite part about anal sex?

dizzi80076 karma

The part where it's with someone that I care about.

TequilaSuprise14 karma

How many times a day do you say sorry?

dizzi80051 karma

Depends on how many times I have Ugly Faces by Watsky on repeat since I sing along to things that I shouldn't sing along to.

dizzi80027 karma

I can;t give an accurate answer, but I saw "Cool beans" like... times a day

McWhorter4412 karma

Do you love me? What music do you listen too?

dizzi80036 karma


As for music: It varies. right now lots of Childish Gambino, but usually more indie rock. I Highly recommend Dead Man's Bones which is Ryan Gosling's music project :)

bobdebicker12 karma

Are you scientific in your thought?

dizzi80047 karma

Are you trying to fill out a dating profile for me?

And yes.

Internet_Till_Dawn12 karma

Nuggets or chicken fingers ?

dizzi80043 karma

Nuggets. Because it looks like there is more on my plate/in the cardboard box so I'll eat less...

This does not work in practice...

australia199611 karma


dizzi80020 karma

I hope so! always wanted to go!

piercem169 karma

Are gays?

dizzi80013 karma

Are gays... what?

MoreEpicThanYou7479 karma

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

dizzi80023 karma


Did I want to?

No. My roommate hung around the house naked for a couple days for some reason T_T

funsizedme25 karma

Do you go to those Sundance film festivals over here? What about Texas, there are Dallas film festivals and Austin is a cultural hotspot. What do you really think of Texans? Lol.

dizzi80016 karma

Also, all the texan's I've met have been incredibly warm and accepting people with great senses of humour.

dizzi80010 karma

I've never been to any film fest aside from the one(s) held in my city.

bobdebicker4 karma

Are you thoughtless in your remarks?

dizzi8008 karma

At times, yes. But usually I think about what I'm saying for at least a split second and go "Is this really fucking stupid?" "Yes." "Is it offensive?" "No. Great, say it anyways."

nutwrinkles4 karma

we cool?

dizzi8008 karma

We cool.[ Have a sombrero](We cool. Have a sombrero. http://www.photo-dictionary.com/photofiles/list/2455/8394sombrero.jpg).

doolie_noted4 karma

Is David Bowie going to tour again? Tell me true!

dizzi8006 karma

I don't know.

bl00fz3 karma

Do you have a pager?

dizzi80011 karma

Nope. Pagers are for losers. I'm the beeper king!

Ozmar3 karma

You are in a Zombie apocalypse, running from a large group of zombies. You come upto a very high bridge, which is blocked on the opposite side. You are not able to climb or get over before they catch you. Turning back is not an option as you will run right into them. On you, you have 40 feet of rope, a knife and a handgun with 10 bullets. How you you escape?

dizzi80013 karma

40 feet of rope ges tied to the bridge and myself. Jump into chasm and let rope catch me. Allow zombies to either run away/get bored and/or fall of cliff. Climb back up and pick off stragglers with knife or gun.

Maggiemayday3 karma

Will you be joining us at BUrning Man this year? Think you might enjoy that thing in the desert?

dizzi8005 karma

I'm broke. I'd love to go.

I went to a music festival here in Nova Scotia awhile back called EVOLVE. It was fantastic but filled with 16 year old's doing too much E and just too drug centric (Even compared to other music festivals). Burning Man seems more art centric.

Musg3 karma

I'm looking into being a script writer and trying to get into the movie biz. Any tips? And it seems like it would be something hard to pay the bills until you actually "make it".

dizzi8009 karma

Write. Write. Read how to write. Write some more. Read 'STORY', 'Save the Cat' etc.

Watch movies. Lots of them. Read scripts, lots and lots and lots of them.

anUrbanFurvor3 karma

I have some background extra experience. Will you please use me in a film? Preferably a speaking role. Not main or anything, just a supporting role. Thankskbye

dizzi8009 karma

Yeah! Were you the redhead I saw in the Rural Juror?

Wyatt_May3 karma

What's your opinion on marijuana legalization?

dizzi80011 karma

I'm all for it, though I don't smoke.

yoloswag_360noscope3 karma

Might I take your mother out on a date?

dizzi8003 karma


norefillonsleep3 karma

What is your least favorite movie or if you don't have a least favorite, a movie you walked out on it was so bad?

dizzi8007 karma

No least favourite nor movies I've walked out of that I can recall but... I hate bad movies and try to avoid them. Cheesy films that are excusing bad for funny. (See: Low budget slashers etc.)

deggan3 karma

When meeting new people, what are the cheesiest ice breakers you've ever been a part of?

dizzi80013 karma

My friend swears by the line "Nice boots let's fuck" (He says 9 slaps are worth one yes)

but one's that I've been a part of? "Nice tattoo" Uhm... I don't know! I don't meet people andomly! ha ha. they are 90% of the time introduced to me/I to them at various functions. I guess "What do you do"?

tbo993 karma

Do you work in Canada? How is the film industry there?

dizzi8006 karma

Yes. Depends on the city. Where I am is actually one of the best places to get started. We have a GREAT indie scene and a growing 'hollywood' scene. Not to mention we have a bunch of programs centered around getting young/fledgling filmmakers creating fantastic films.

The more west you go (Toronto/Vancouver) the less the indie scene is a factor and the larger pool of people you're fighting for jobs. I don't know much about Montreal's industry because it's so different.

Tinckoy2 karma

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? What is the weather like today?

dizzi8004 karma

Lucky Charms.

sunny and cold.

whycuthair2 karma

What number am I thinking about? Also.. who let the dogs out?

dizzi8003 karma


The bouncer.

dont_worry_im_here2 karma

Last person that you truly wanted to murder? Like, if no one found out, what did they do and how would you have murdered them?

Feed me!

dizzi8004 karma

Huh... No one. I can;t think of anyone I have ever truly wanted dead, especially by my hands.

Nathandoyle2 karma

Thinking about about moving canada soon .. where do you recommend ?

dizzi8003 karma

Halifax for a hybrid of city and town, Toronto for the big city, vancouver for rain and pot.

tragic-waste-of-skin2 karma

Are you able to make a decent movie using the camera of a smartphone?

dizzi8003 karma

With a great script and good sound, yes!

Zayinked2 karma

Who the eff is Hank?

dizzi8005 karma

Hank is a river on the east side of the koopa kingdom. One person lives there, his name is Dave Green but everyone calls him Hank because of his proximity to the river.

onlytalksinstarcraft2 karma

Do you know what happens to a frog when it gets hit by lightning?

dizzi8003 karma


TheeSillyman2 karma


dizzi8005 karma


btbam6662 karma


dizzi8003 karma

Hand tool? Pen

Least fave. country? Grenyarnia

sold into Slavery

Doctor Smith

Gimpass2 karma

How doth a man who have not a snout but a pig, water a plant which has gardened its own fruits of the child?

dizzi8005 karma

With water.

HypeMeImBelgian2 karma


dizzi8009 karma

Nope. One is not a sample size. I'm not saying test more for science but..

defcon-121 karma

Who wins: Sasquatch vs Chuck Norris

dizzi8008 karma

Sasquatch. Hands down.