The Glorious Hole

[thanks to Roger for hosting the LOST finale viewing party and giving me the idea for this comic]


Just so we are clear, the main purpose of the castaways’ final moments on The Island was to solve a plumbing problem. “Well, see what you got here is yer stopper what keeps the magic water from drainin’ outta your light beam got removed. Probably by a common household Desmond. You see ’em in these parts all the time. Livin’ in hatches, pushin’ buttons, NOT pushin’ buttons. Gettin’ into a whole mess’o trouble.”


SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt


There is also a PRINT of this design too!

I am still gathering my thoughts on the LOST finale, but I don’t know if I want to post them here or in a podcast or just bury them deep inside until my anus belches out a cloud of murderous black smoke. We’ll see. For now I can say that it ended the way I expected it to based on the last couple of seasons. LOST completely abandoned the story I was totally enthralled with (DHARMA, Others, numbers, hatches, buttons, polar bears, etc) a LONG time ago, and since then I have come to understand that the plot lines I was so invested in are never going to be resolved. I think I got over the frustration of that realization a while back and since then, I’ve just been coasting on familiar characters and settings. Just like BSG, I find the “magic” aspect of the show really dissapointing. I like fantasy when I know that’s what I’m getting into, but LOST was supposed to be Science Fiction. And it was for 3 years or so. Now it’s all hocus pocus, and destiny, and “let’s all meet in purgatory for a party when we die” and such.

OK, I need to stop myself before I rant for 6 pages. Post your thoughts in the comments.

Here are some more things to read:

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  1. Wrath of Khan, LOST, mysterious island glory holes, and Hurley…
    Mix well, bake for 25 minutes, until comedy golden brown.

  2. If they weren't thinking TWoK when they wrote and shot that, then they have absolutely no right to be writing and shooting things in this century. I opened my mouth to say it when it happened, but closed it before I did, because, like… I didn't want to be the guy who points out the obvious reference. Like I was about an hour+ earlier when I said, "Ha! Star Wars! Hurley likes Star Wars! GET IT?!?"

  3. I loved it. Sorry I guess. It was a wonderful goodbye.

    Also: "DHARMA, Others, numbers, hatches, buttons, polar bears"….all of these things were developed and resolved. Well, the Numbers got two different explanations in two different places and the Polar Bears only had an offhand clue about genetic modification for climate change adaptability…..but….what more "Answers" about those specific questions did you want?

    • How was DHARMA and the numbers resolved? All I remember was DHARMA was trying to change the numbers to save humanity, the hatch blew up and then nothing else was said about them.

      More than that why did Jacob allow DHARMA on the island at all. I don't I'm probably forgetting something.

    • The ending called into question any answer they gave us about those things. Did the island even really exist (why the magic if it did)? Or was it some collective construction of the dead passengers of Oceanic flight 815 (why the hatches and stuff)?

      Either way, "DHARMA, Others, numbers, hatches, buttons, polar bears" didn't really contribute anyway to the finale or to an ultimate explanation to the island.

      I guess you could argue that the show was about the transformation of the souls of flight 815 from material beings into spiritual beings (ie Shepherd's transformation from a doctor into a believer) shown through their manifestation of these things (DHARMA, Others numbers, etc). But that sounds like an excuse for bad writing and possibly a way to trap us Science Fiction viewers.

      • Christian's speech was meant to make clear it all actually happened.

        I honestly don't get what more you want to know about DHARMA. I'm guessing Jacob invited them to see if they would be any better then his other failed candidates…..

        But I still think the finale resonates with the first season at least. I mean, look at Sun and Shannon's conversation in the first season finale….

        • I agree with you, don't know what's the big deal, and I specially don't get why people still thinks the island was a purgatory, it was very clear the limbo was something collectively created from separate points in time by the cast as they were dying, "some before, some much after" Jack. There was the island, where they lived the "most important part of their life", and there was the limbo, that was like a class reunion for the survivors. It is even made clear that by then, in his subjective time Hugo had been the keeper of the island, with Ben as No. 2, for quite a while.

          • THANK you. It's getting to where there are two types of people in the world: those who think the whole series took place in purgatory, and those who actually heard what Christian said.

            "But…but the credits, they showed the wreckage, that means they're all dead!". No, it means they didn't want ABC diminishing the impact by slapping in a promo for According To Jim.

  4. Completely agree with your frustrations, Joel. They promised us no cheesy "They are all dead" finale and there it was. I wanted so much more Dhama, too.

  5. I was saying the same thing to my girlfriend this morning. It bothers me when shows use science (and science fiction) to build interest and suspense, and then abandon it for hocus pocus when they can’t figure out satisfactory answers to the questions they’ve created. Lost did it, so did BSG, and I find it pretty insulting. I’m fine with having a certain metaphysical or pseudo scientific explanation (Fringe does a good job of this in my opinion), but to have that be the main force driving the plot just seems lazy. I dunno, I still like the show, and I will tolerate the ending the same as I did with BSG, but I am pretty disappointed.

    • In the case of BSG, you can't say that the involvement of "God" ("you know it doesn't like that name") was a copout, when THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT IT ALL ALONG. You can't get mad when that thing they always said was there, turns out to in fact be there.

      • This is true and in contemplating the whole series I think its now obvious they were going this way all along. The problem wasnt with BSG, it was with me. I wanted so badly for them to take it the other direction and those expectations left me disappointed.

  6. So Jack-y Potter needed to remove the Giant Stone Horc-Buttplug-Crux from the island’s anus so VolderLocke would become mortal and die!

    Then they all spent time in the Unitarian King’s Cross so Dumbleshepherd could push them through the light!!

    Dumbest show end ever.

  7. Joel, you just put your finger on what’s been bugging me and making me feel weary and glad it was all going to finally end (and has, obviously) — that disappointed feeling of “wait, what, it’s all about some really shoddy mythology nonsense?” Cop out. For crying out loud, this is the show with the hatch! And the button! And the electromagnetic fields! The DHARMA stations! The food drops! It was all a grand mystery — that turns out to be about, as you say, cosmic plumbing. Ah well.

    • yeah the bottom line is they started telling one story (one I was quite enthralled with) and shifted gears midway through to tell a completely different story that I just didnt enjoy as much. Some people liked it more, but i think it left a lot of us who had been with the show since the beginning feeling left out.

  8. man Kirk really let himself go.

    Your post is pretty much my exact sentiment on Lost. Without any real story direction they wrote themselves into a corner and had to dump most of the show and pull the magic card.

    • With this type of show there needs to be a set of rules that establish when minor and major teasers must be addressed. Within 3-5 eps for minors and by the season finale for majors is a good rule. Buffy seemed to follow this pretty much until the end and it worked beautifully. There was a ton of suspense and and ton of relief. it ebbed and flowed but was ultimately satisfying and all tied up after 22 eps.

  9. My parents watched the series finale last night and they were still hopelessly confused by the time they got home from work today. Maybe tonight's final episodes of 24 and Law & Order will at least give them something coherent to watch. Chuck's season finale was, in a word, AWESOME. Give it a chance Joel!

    • Also, seeing as how you occasionally do a tribute strip when somebody famous dies, are you working on something for Ronnie James Dio? For the life of me, I can't find a real tribute to him on any of the MTV's or VH1's!

  10. I'm so glad I've never watched lost. When lost first came out I remember everyone raving about it and thinking I'd give it some time and see if people keep on praising it (I don't watch a lot of t.v so I'm pretty picky). Sure enough lost seemed to fall apart and I said I'd wait for the end and then download the series and watch them over the course of a couple weeks (thinking maybe watching them without season breaks would make it easier to remember little details and probably enjoy it more than someone who watched it as it came out). However, after everything I've heard in the last year or so I don't think I'm going to waste the bandwidth.

    • Honestly, you can watch seasons 1-3 (some of the best television ever made) and just enjoy them for what they are. Realize that all the questions you have when those seasons are over were never answered and just move on.

  11. They should have had a reverse shot from the plane and had Kate looking back to the island and seeing the words "GOODBYE" written in stones on the beach.

    Hell stealing from M*A*S*H* would have made the entire thing complete.

  12. I liked it. The finale meant that everything that happened in the show HAPPENED, and you get to make up the rest. The ending was the ALL-ending, where every character gets a happy afterlife (eventually), which was more satisfying to me than "Never got to be happy because they're dead. The end." That death isn't the end of things was uplifting, to me. Except mercenaries. Mercenaries get shot even after they've died.

    Anyway, your plumbing problem hit my thoughts exactly. "Time travel headaches, alternate reality memories, smoke infestation, you've got all the symptoms. I'll tell you what your problem is, you let your Desmond out of his hatch. Easy fix, just lower him back in, gently."

    • the ending WAS satisfying if you consider the show starting in season 4. Or starting OVER rather, which it did. I just want to see the ending for seasons 1-3.

    • I liked it too, for pretty much exactly the same reason. It kind of surprised me, because up until a few weeks ago I thought I'd agree with Joel (and I have the forum posts to prove it), but having seen it I'm pretty sure the way they ended it was more satisfying (for me, at least) than a full explanation of all the science fiction-type stuff would have been.

  13. I think theres are two ways to watch Lost and enjoy it without the frustration. Watch the first two or three seasons, then stop and assume they're all in an island where weird experiments had been conducted/they all died on the crash and are in purgatory, then never watch another episode.
    Or read an overview of what those first seasons were about, then watch only the last two o three seasons, and assume it was always a supernatural mythological show about the Island of Ur (the rune) where the cosmic twins had an epic battle of wits.
    That way you don't get frustrated by the fact the first half of the series was all about catching viewers, with the writers not knowing what was going to happen later on, and that the second part was all about creating a mythology, not looking back at what wasn't necessary for that mythology.
    I did the second way, and am frustration free.


      This is the advice I give to new Losties.

  14. You know, if I was the showrunner on a genre show, I think I would beg the network for cancellation about half a season from my planned endpoint. It's gotten to where the years of "stupid network, didn't know what they had" is actually preferable to the complaining that inevitably happens.

    I can't think of a genre show in recent history where the finale (if it's planned, as opposed to being told "you have two episodes to wrap everything up") hasn't been followed by depressingly predictable cries of "Worst. Ending. Ever." along with a lot of fascinating misinterpretations of the ending, and a misguided attitude of betrayal.

    Look, just because a show didn't go out exactly the way you expected it to, is not necessarily an indicator of the quality; should I be upset that the island itself wasn't a living spaceship trapped on earth, and "The Source" its damaged warp core? I'm glad I was wrong, partly because my prediction was lame, but mostly because I appreciate the show's ability to surprise and confuse me right up until the end.

    I understand as well as anyone that we geeks are protective of the shows we love. And being smart, creative people, we love to analyze shows and pick them apart. But this kind of knee-jerk negativity has become depressingly predictable.

    • I tend to agree with most of your points. I personally liked the ending. Someone on a different forum said it was emotionally satisfying, even if it wasn't intellectually satisfying and I think that's how I feel about the finale. Didn't love it or think it was ground-breaking but I think with so much build-up it, they (writers, network, etc) made it really REALLY easy to set high expectations, so I understand people's disappointment.

      I defintely agree with what you are saying, about our collective griping about series' ending. I thought the BSG ending was kind of lame but it doesn't detract from the excellence of the rest of the show (the 1st and 2nd season, anyway). I can't honestly think of any show where everyone agreed it was the "best ending ever" although I keep hearing about how awesome Chuck has been so far. Maybe they'll break the mold.

  15. I was really disapointed with that finale, for the same reasons… those internet lists like "50 things LOST have to explaind before the finale" just grew bigger, it's ridiculous!

    No DHARMA, no others, no science fiction, no Eloise Time Cop, and people wanted to see Vincent the Dog? Fine, have the stupid dog, when Jack is about to die!

    The characters "remembering" and kissing and stuff was emotional, I admit it, I CRIED okay? But I wanted ANSWERS about MYSTERIES. If I wanted to see an emotional finale only about the emotional outcomes of the characters, I'd be watching Grey's Anatomy.

    Very disapointing…

    (sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, English is my second language).

    • I felt the same way. it was BSG all over again. They gave us tear jerking emotions but left most of the mysteries unanswered. It's too sloppy for Scifi in my opinion.

  16. First of all, Fodali, I don't (and I don't think you do) care about any of the characters in Grey's Anatomy, while we care about these characters.

    Personally, I liked the finale. I was ambivalent on the ending for a while, but came around (it may change upon a second viewing). I liked the finale far more than the whole of S6, where it wandered a bit. And as I tweeted Joel, before deciding to comment on the strip: What's the difference between "electromagnetism" and "The Light"? They are both concepts used in the show as a tool. Electromagnetism couldn't do the things the show said it could.

    Personally, after S5 (which I didn't like), I really didn't want to know more about the Dharma Initiative. And after seeing the way this season dealt with answers (the clunky delivery by Michael about the whispers comes to mind), I'm glad they left some aspects ambiguous.

    In a show were Science vs. Faith was always in conflict, it isn't that shocking that one side one over the other. It just might not be the one people wanted to.

  17. I know it will never happen but- comic book spin off about the island and all the other stuff we loved about Dharma???

  18. I started watching LOST on Hulu last November for no better reason than because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I devoured seasons 1-3 but still wasn't quite sure what the big deal was. After that, I began to worry that none of what the show started would ever be resolved. In fact, the ratio of what I felt to be good episodes to bad episodes shrank dramatically, and thus LOST became (to me, at least) one of the dumbest shows on TV.

    Now that it's all over…I can't decide whether the last two seasons were a waste of my time. For was meant to be the "Television Event of the Decade!", it felt flat on its face. I didn't think it would be possible to make a finale that'd be as disappointing as BSG…the writers of LOST managed to. I had no particular investment in the series besides just wanting to know what was going on, and on that account they failed.

    I'm hoping that from here on out, hocus-pocus BS endings catalyzed by a deus ex machina will be banned from TV. It's out of hand, and it's not science fiction.

  19. All the ending of LOST was missing was an autistic kid with a snowglobe.

    I genuinely enjoyed the first three seasons. Yes, the second season waivered a little bit when it came to pacing in the beginning. But, damn! I loved the show and all the interesting mysteries and character dilemmas it had. I thought it started as an awesome balance of character and story driven writing. But when the time skipping started and that whole mess came to the forefront, it really lost my interest and I was just staying to see what would happen and how they would explain the mysteries and "whodunnits" of the series. Instead, everything I loved about the show ended up being a bunch of mcguffins.

    I thoroughly enjoyed the faith vs. science aspect of the show. I thought they handled it fantastically in the first three seasons. I wouldn't have cared if faith/magic/mythology won out in the end as long as it was well thought out, delivered and didn't make me feel as though those mysteries were just plot devices used to keep me around, not to actually be part of the story.

    In Buffy, they told you from basically the beginning of the show that the town was on a Hellmouth and that is why all these random wacky things kept happening. We understood the plot device of the Hellmouth. In LOST, they tried to introduce the "light in the island" at the very end as though that magically (no pun intended) answered all of our questions about the strange things that happened on the island. It didn't. Why do I care about the light? Okay, so it's the light in all of us. Why does it need perpetual protection before/after Flocke/MIB? What is it being protected from when it seemed like everyone who came to the island was brought there? What was the point of bringing all of the candidates there? To give them a "choice"? They never had a choice with Jacob. Why couldn't Jacob just give them information they needed in order to make a choice? Because he didn't have that info? Because it was a huge plot device to keep us guessing and to keep the candidates in the dark?

    I won't go on until someone else lets me at this point. I loved the first few seasons of LOST because they piqued my interest and made me think about this new fantastic world these people were living in and then the world stopped being fantastical and started being overwrought with "magic" and mythos that didn't quite jive with the beginning of the show.

      • hahahaha, I loved that comic. The look on Josh's face is priceless.

        It's also cool to see how your art has evolved from the earlier comics.

    • So I've got a running theory here. There's been a tendency to think of Jacob as this all powerful, all wise being, but he's not. He's a deeply flawed person. His "mother" kept him and his brother isolated from other people, she thrust the responsibility of protector on him when it was clear she favored the other brother, etc. He remains distant from everyone, using his magic to hide himself from most people, barely showing himself to the people he's relying on to help him out. He's basically socially retarded, and probably really at the developmental level of a 12 year old. And thus a lot of the magic of the Island, as funneled/channeled/governed through him, is similarly disjointed, unintelligible, etc.

      In fact, we see that the ritual for taking title of protector isn't really anything special. "Mother" and Jacob both made some kind of incantation when they passed it along, but Jack didn't. I don't think becoming protector really changes you other than giving you access to the island's magic, but even that doesn't come with an instruction manual.

      So anyway, that's my theory. Jacob's pretty much a 12 year old social misfit making all the rules up as he goes along. Which makes me think Hurley's time on the Island had to have been pretty amazing, because he's good with people. Now if only he'd take the Island back in time and prevent the Star Wars prequels.

  20. RT @krissy907 – So everyone remembered stuff when they saw someone they loved. Kate remembered when she saw Claire's vagina. Just sayin. #LOSTfinale

  21. I am so glad I wasn't the only person that thought about the Wrath of Khan during that scene. My roommates looked at me like I was an idiot/dork.

    I probably am…

  22. So the ultimate answer to the mysteries of Lost was this:

    The Guardian of the Island gets to make whatever rules he wanted. Jacob was weird, emotionally stunted homeschool kid, so he made really weird rules and thus you had a really weird Island.

    I guess that's better than no answer at all…

    • Kinda makes me think of the recent remake of Peter Pan. Where because he has essentially imagined up Never Land and is connected to it, it obeys him. The weather changes when he's gone and changes with his mood. There are some parallels to draw between Never Land and the Lost island.

  23. You call that a spoiler warning? YOU CALL THAT A SPOILER WARNING? Call me pedantic, but a warning usually comes before the thing being warned about! People don’t processes html in strict sequential order. You create a webcomic, surely you must realise that people go to the site to see the comic first, and then possibly look at all the other stuff around. I’m going to spoil something now: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS SHERIFF WOODY’S FATHER. But because I wrote in all caps, you probably were spoiled before you read the warning.
    Would it have killed you to have the comic sufficiently far down the page so that the reader would have to scroll down (after reading the warning)? Or have a placeholder link to take them to the actual comic?
    Read now the terrible wrath you have incurred! I shall continue to read your awesome comic, and ignore the ads that are blocked by my browser. But any disposable income I choose to use to support web-comics, I will spend on another (unless you know, you put out a really cool one).


    • The giant red text directly above the comic in 100,000 point font wasnt enough of a warning for you?

      Keep your entitlement to yourself in the future, please.

      • Well, to be honest, I didn't spot the warning until after I'd already read the comic. Still, reading a self-described geek webcomic right after the Lost finale happened, seeing someone who looks like Hurley, continuing to read and then getting upset that you've been spoiled strikes me as pretty stupid. Plus the warning *was* there, even if some of us are oblivious.

        • Not to mention anyone who didn't see the "Jack saves the island" ending coming wasn't paying too much attention to Lost to begin with. I found that to not even be the shocker ending but what they revealed about nature of the island and Jack. I actually saw this comic before I watched the finale and found it didn't ruin anything about the experience.

          • Well, the part about Jack bleeding to death was at least mildly surprising (I was waiting for him to end up being the new smoke monster, personally.) But yeah, other than that, the comic wasn't really all that spoilery. Like you said, it certainly didn't go into the really shocking parts.

  24. wow. What a Brat. I felt a tad hollow after HULUing the final 4 hours of lost in one sitting. I was prepared for the mysteries to be not-so-much revealed but I was surprised that they were left for dead. All in all I am not disappointing with the series as it DID provide me with a SHIT-TONNE of entertainment and some interesting actors to keep track of.

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