Dude, where’s my car?!

After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc and these irritating characters, today’s strip offers some much welcome relief… I’m speaking, of course, of the Green Pitcher, far and away the best character in Act III Funky Winkerbean (and probably Acts I and II as well, to be frank). By the way… hello there, I’m billytheskink and I’m… uh, I guess I’m going to talk about the Winkerbeans as they talk about Adeela.

FASCINATING! (In my best Merv Griffin voice)

More interesting than Funky’s understandable concern for his restaurant’s assets or the icy glares of his family members is his continuing transformation into Gasoline Alley mainstay Slim in both attitude and appearance. Less interesting, of course, is Wally’s inability to use his phone to tell Funky that Adeela’s arrest had to do with her (mistaken) immigration status.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

41 responses to “Dude, where’s my car?!

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Why is this such a taboo question? Sure, it’s somewhat ill-timed and crass but still, it IS his car, is it not? Or is it? Anyhow, it’s easy to shoot Funky annoyed looks and all but they’re not the ones who’ll have to drop another $2400 on a new Plotnix after ICE confiscates the old one. And those insulated bags aren’t free either, you know. The guy employs half the town, maybe just once someone could take his concerns seriously for once.

    • Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

      I do find it amusing to imagine that this was his concern that got him out of bed.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        I find it more amazing that Holly was so hot and bothered by all this BS.

        • comicbookharriet

          She’s a woman of a certain age. We know she gets hot and bothered constantly. It’ll be gone in a flash.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Me too. While he does look like an idiot, he IS the only character so far who’s bothered to ask a relevant question.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Well Batty never had to run a small business. He just turns out crap and gets a check. Then he whines about the system…yeah it’s all about money…but he never turns down a check. But yeah, Funky is the evil one.

      This gets dumber by the day.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      And why does Les never get reactions like this when he’s being a selfish prick?

  2. J.J. O'Malley

    Montoni’s has a delivery car? If so, why wasn’t the mysterious Unknown Delivery Person who was out using it when Adeela volunteered to make the drop-off? Don’t tell me Montoni’s has TWO delivery cars?

    Alternate Panel Two Word Balloon for Funky: “A delivery!? You mean someone actually offered by pay us money for what we make here?”
    At least it would make him sound like slightly less of an a-hole.

    • Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

      And two insulated bags. Just two, though, because that’s more than anyone would order from Montoni’s.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Billy, you’re the best tagger in the business. I need to start using more tags on my posts too.

    • comicbookharriet

      There are street artists with entire coal trains covered with their work who aren’t as good at tagging as Billy.

  4. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    Should he be more concerned about legal ramifications for employing an alleged undocumented immigrant?

  5. billytheskink

    Much as a group of crows is called a murder, a gathering of three or more Winkerbeans is called an idiocy. This is an idiocy of Winkerbeans.

  6. William Thompson

    Funky’s just like the rest of us: “Who is this Adeela? Didn’t she, uh, choose our new paint for the walls, or something? Am I supposed to remember her from high school, like everyone else I know? Did she marry an inappropriate man like every other woman in Westview? Help me out here, guys!”

  7. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Others may look at Adeela and merely see an architect/pizza delivery person, but I gaze upon Adeeler and see my muse! How else to explain my uncontrollable urge to improve so many strips from her first appearance?

  8. Professor Harlan Grankle

    99.9% of the “dialogue” in this strip should be unsaid.

  9. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    I could only find one sighting of the green pitcher in my parody strips.

    https://mafia.wikia.org/wiki/James_T._Licavoli Licavoli was a Cleveland gangster involved in the mafia bomb war in 1977 that killed my Teamster president. His name was in the news frequently when I was a kid.

  10. none

    He may not remember that a payphone will give a different caller ID from a person’s cell.
    He may not remember how to spell the place name of a location featured in a 1930’s serial that he wants to shoehorn into the strip.
    He may not keep his pseudonym for William Randoph Hearst consistent between three panels in the same Sunday strip.
    But he will make damned sure that there is a green pitcher visibly on the shelf behind the counter at Montoni’s. For at least seven years, he will assuredly have it there.

    That’s dedication. To what, I don’t know, but it’s dedication.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Batiuk thinks he’s sticking it to the beady-eyed nitpickers by bludgeoning his readers with small, irrelevant details. Like the POLICE ICE jackets, which are pretty realistically depicted. Meanwhile the story itself is full of massive errors, plot holes, basic writing failures, and just plain make no sense. It’s like if he gets one thing right, he doesn’t have to care about anything else.

  11. Hitorque

    Damn, Montoni’s has their own cars? All this time I thought Adeela borrowed someone else’s… His business plan makes no sense whatsoever.

    And say what you will, but it’s refreshing that Funkenstein is concerned about his company assets instead of getting fake hysterical and pretending to give a rat’s ass about some hourly employee he may have met once or twice…

    Hey! Yet another day when there are ZERO fuckin’ customers in what’s supposed to be the most popular pizzeria in Northeast Ohio…

    Funkmeister: “Wally?! What the hell are you and Copper Top dressed up for? Whaddaya mean a *DATE NIGHT*?! God damnit cuz, you’re supposed to be the fuckin’ MANAGER and this is supposed to be YOUR shift right now! And why the hell aren’t there any customers in here? YOU TRADED SHIFTS WITH CORY?! You left that sneaky, shady ratfuck scumbag lowlife in charge of the whole joint? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU LEFT HIM UNSUPERVISED ALONE WITH THE CASH REGISTER? JESUS FUCKIN’ CHRIST I REFUSE TO HONESTLY BELIEVE ANYONE COULD BE THAT IGNORANT! And exactly how many times have you skipped out and made Cory cover for you? Okay, now tell me when exactly you were planning to make up those 15 missed work days, smartass? Look… First of all, managers don’t ‘trade’ shifts with subordinates and secondly they sure as shit don’t leave dishonest thieving little turds like Cory running the joint! Jesus, Mary and Joseph… No wonder the books this month weren’t making any fuckin’ sense when I was doing the numbers… When this whole silly ordeal with whatever her name is concludes, you, me and Cory are going to have a long assed chat about your future prospects in the food service industry because I’ve been carrying you leeches for way too long…”

    • batgirl

      But let’s not forget that Cory was Funky’s first choice for covering the shop while he and Holly were away (I think it was the Holly’s mother leaving Florida arc – hey, what happened to Holly’s mother?), not Wally, even though Wally and Rachel both have seniority and experience. And when Wally first offered himself for the manager position, Funky and Harry took it as a joke – I don’t remember if that was resolved or just dropped.
      I would love to see an org chart for Montoni’s. I bet all the arrows just run off the page in confusion and fear.

  12. Saturnino

    “After spending more than a month on this insipid story arc”

    All of which could have been avoided if Adilly had carried evidence of alien registration with her as required by law……….

  13. DreadedCandiru2

    Why is he being singled out as being an idiot when an idiot is the one writing it?

  14. Okay, I am generally concerned now. I hope they get that insulated bag back. I’m worried that it might be gone forever.

    • Perfect Tommy


    • Jimmy

      Just like Chuck E. Cheese’s has Pasqually’s Pizza delivery, ICE is going to use its confiscated items to start a new venture.

      “ICE pizza is so hot, it’s cool!” (Listen, it’s a government agency. You can’t expect its tagline to be all that great).

    • Insulated Pizza Delivery Bag is Green Pitcher’s best friend! They just have to get it back!

  15. Count of Tower Grove

    Apropos of nothing, but since Gasoline Alley has been mentioned, and since he hasn’t been killed off, Walt Wallet is the lone surviving World War I veteran.

  16. Dood

    Cory’s absconded with the “delivery” car and the insulated bag (hell, what about the Montoni’s signage for the car?). The betrayal runs deep in Westview.

  17. Perfect Tommy

    Meh. This story is being totally eclipsed today by the crazy shenanigans going on over in Mark Trail.

  18. Gerard Plourde

    So Wally was having Adeela practice her driving in a company car? On top of everything else, if there had been an accident while she was practicing for her driving test, the insurance company would not have covered it and would probably have dropped coverage of Montoni’s for violating the terms of the policy.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Does any pizza place own and manage its own cars anymore? They just hire people and make them use their own cars. Especially in the age of Uber Eats and whatnot. I delivered pizza in college 30 years ago, and it was that way even then.

      Like the wall-mounted landline phone with the long cord, it’s another twee relic that symbolizes Westview’s insistence on living in 1979.

    • billytheskink

      Funky has historically been bad about paying for things like insurance, which may be why he is so worried about the car now…

  19. Professor Fate

    As so many say why do they have a car in the first place and second what the hell happened to the regular driver? Did they grind him up for meatballs? I”d like to think so. A bit of Sweeny Todd would, if nothing else, add a little interest to the endless pizza arcs.

  20. spacemanspiff85

    I’m guessing whoever the regular driver is is dead in a ditch somewhere, and Buck and Linda are in bed together wondering if their pizza will ever arrive.

    • Hitorque

      Did Hank Hill ask her to wear Bull’s high school jersey with the helmet, shoulder pads and eye-black again?

      Or did he keep it simple and just ask her to wear the Scapegoats mascot outfit?