Reddit Reddit reviews Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

We found 22 Reddit comments about Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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u/mypreciousssssssss · 28 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

"she's not going to change," always my favorite JustNo excuse. Must be nice to control the world and everyone in it so we all have to work around the MILs personality. 🙄

As a practical matter if she's not boundary stomping you to death, I'd keep trying to coexist. Though you might want to remind your DH that he married you when you have the quiet, reserved personality you have now - it's not like you sprung it on him after the fact. Did his attraction to you include the fact that you have a more restful personality than his family? And if so, why would he want you to change it?

ETA: Also, this book is excellent and very informative about introverts, I highly recommend it!


u/NoyzMaker · 13 pointsr/ITCareerQuestions

I was younger than almost my entire team, only had 2 others younger than me of a 7 person team. It can be a bit challenging but the key thing to remember is that you were hired for your skills to be a people manager and they are the professionals in their skills.

There was probably someone on that team wanted your job. I tend to acknowledge their desire for leadership positions and ask them if that is what they still want in their career. If so then we make a plan to help make them more marketable for the next role or as my "heir-apparent" when the time comes.

Be humble and let their expertise and opinions be a welcome thing. It is paramount to hear their advice and more importantly to hear why things are done the way they are. People (typically) don't do things without a good reason. Respect that.

Couple other random bits and pieces I recommend to new managers:

This is what I try to do when taking over a new team.

u/DrMnhttn · 7 pointsr/AskMen

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain changed my life. I spent most of my life trying to fix myself because people kept telling me I was broken. As it turns out, there's nothing wrong with me at all, and I was just listening to idiots.

Even if you aren't an introvert, you should still read this book. You can't describe introverts without also talking about extroverts for comparison, so there's plenty in there for everyone.

u/shoot_first · 6 pointsr/AskReddit
u/catastrophe · 4 pointsr/cscareerquestions

Not speaking up in meetings will definitely slow your career development. Speaking in meetings is as you guessed often code for visibility, but there are a lot of things you can do to help your visibility before working on speaking in meetings (which you will have to learn how to do to be a successful senior dev). Take notes to email to the whole team, email out you / your teams accomplishment, volunteer to take notes at standup, share your learnings with the team, pair program, ect. As long as your immediate co-workers are seeing you get involved with all aspects of the team, that is a good start.

As to speaking in meetings, as someone how also had to overcome "I'd rather ad nothing than just fill the air with stupid / unnecessary thoughts". Get in the conversation early. I made a rule for myself early on that I had to say something in the first 5 minutes, and after that I could be quiet if I just didn't have anything to say.

If it resonates with you, I'd recommend reading Quiet It has a lot of practical advice on how to have big impact even if you are on the quieter side.

u/Fenzir · 4 pointsr/infj

I'm stealing someone else's thunder, but this is a well-recognized book that may illustrate what you're looking for.

u/codefocus · 3 pointsr/introvert

That's almost a literal quote out of Quiet by Susan Cain. It's a great book.

u/jotasaurus · 3 pointsr/ABCDesis

If you haven't yet - I highly, HIGHLY, recommend Quiet: The Power of Introverts to read. Phenomenal book that relates to your post very closely.;amp;btkr=1

u/ThaBenMan · 3 pointsr/CasualConversation

There's a really interesting book on this subject you might like - Quiet

u/edible_building · 3 pointsr/community

I enjoyed reading your introspective perspective and how you relate to Abed. I relate to all the characters, but I associate most with Abed because of my need to obsessively catalog things and worry over minute details. He also has an affinity to pop culture that I find kindred to my own.

I, like you, also see no point to diagnosing AS. It feels like pseduo-science, and as you say there's no benefit to diagnosing it. I applaud you, however, for seeing a therapist. I am against those who dissuade you from therapy because they rely on stereotypes rather than fact. Therapists are just like any other profession, and I'm glad you found one that is helping you. Here are my opinions on a couple of things I noticed:


I definitely see you as carrying many of the properties of an introvert, especially when you say people exhaust you. An introvert thrives on being alone and has to recharge after social situations. An introvert doesn't hate people and isn't anti-social, but sees social interaction as a chore at times. You say you're self-employed and content with that. I would check out /r/introvert just in case you'd like more on this.

You also limit yourself by saying "I am not ever going to be an elite athlete or the CEO of a fortune-500 company." I read the book, "Quiet" by Susan Cain, and it is truly empowering to know how many introverts are in high ranking positions. I don't consider myself an introvert but there are parts of the book that I strongly associated with, like how quiet leadership is not an oxymoron. I recommend reading that if this jives with how you feel.

u/mcorra59 · 3 pointsr/self

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking I really, really recommend you this book, it helped me a lot to cope with who I am, if you don't have the audiobook app, you can have it for free with your free trial 🤓😉

u/haloshade · 2 pointsr/selfhelp

I did this a while ago, and I highly recommend it to anyone who feels the slightest bit socially awkward: make a goal for yourself to make small conversations with a new person for 30 days.

It could be talking about the cold winds of winter while to the stranger next to you at Starbucks. It could be asking somebody at a bar what they're drinking. And it could be asking the somebody on the floor of Best Buy to help you find something, and while you're making your way down the aisle ask them how their day is going.

I say small conversations and not small talk because small talk is usually "scripted" per se, like the classic "How are you doing?" "Fine, how about yourself?" that we're all conditioned to say. At Starbucks, after you mention the weather, ask them if they have any big plans for the day. At the bar ask them what they recommend. At Best Buy ask them if they're watching any good TV shows.

It's all about finding the connecting points, not about making an impression (unless it's a job interview). If there are no connecting points then so be it, you two probably wouldn't be good friends anyways. If the Best Buy attendant and you are both fans of Black Mirror then you know instantly you have something to talk about.

I used to train Parkour, and in Parkour we would do these things called a "dry run" (not sure if anybody else called it this). They were runs you did near the obstacle, or on something else similar to it, but they were safer. Although the movements were the same, the dry run usually was in a safe location, to help us mentally prepare for our full run.

Going out there and challenging yourself to speak to 30 new people in 30 days is much like the dry runs. Don't put any expectations on yourself, instead relish in the comfort that you're probably never ever going to see these people again, and because of that you are free to train safely.

Edit: Two books I recommend you read: How to Win Friends and Influence People, the most recommended self-help book because people of all walks of life are still trying to figure out other people. The book goes into detail on how to be an empathetic listener and why asking questions is the most important thing you can do. The second book I recommend is Quiet, by Susan Cain, which is pretty much How to Win Friend's mortal enemy if it had one. If you're like me and identify as an introvert, you've probably felt self conscious of your tendency to not talk as much as your peers, in Quiet Cain pretty much turns this taboo upside down, as she delves into the psychology of introversion vs extroversion. These two books changed the ways I interacted with others, and gave me some self acceptance and confidence in my temperament.

u/das_mammel · 2 pointsr/socialskills

So this seems like a case of "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". I'm sure that he understands what you're saying on an intellectual level but on an emotional one, he rejects it out of hand due to his conditioning earlier in life. This is probably compounded whenever he is put into a situation where he ends up shutting down, as he basically ends up seeing it as more proof of his "failure".

I don't have a lot of ideas other than perhaps seeing if he is willing to talk to someone in a therapy-like setting. You could also look at trying to find ways to slowly push his boundaries, something like some small get togethers with people he doesn't know well so that he is only a little bit out of his comfort zone.

Ultimately though this will all require him being on board with making changes as well, so sitting down with him and seeing what he is willing to do will be paramount. You'll want to continue to reiterate that you like him just how he is and that you just want him to feel better about himself when you do this.

One final thing would be to look at the book "Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking" ( As a 33 year old shy, introvert guy myself, I found this book really interesting and that it offered some new perspectives on my own life long struggles. It didn't change my life overnight but it has helped me with some of my own self acceptance issues. You could maybe start here, read it yourself first and then offer it to him and see how that goes.

u/MyFigurativeYacht · 2 pointsr/BravoRealHousewives

i commented the same above, but you should definitely read this book, especially if you're interested in learning about introverts vs. extroverts. it was really eye-opening for me, and i wish i could make every single one of my coworkers read it.

u/kob66 · 2 pointsr/Journalism

I read this book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" It may be a best seller. It's loaded with insights.

Most journalists I've known are introverts. They work a room, force themselves to meet people, knock on doors, and seek out interviews because it's the only way to get at the truth, to tell the story. That's what motivates them. But they relish the quiet time to write, assemble the facts and craft a piece.

Extroverts have no special advantage in journalism, but they're probably better at social media than I am. But if I put on my junk psychology hat, it's possible that extroverts may be the ones to run social media operations, or move up the chain of command. I'll bet most introverts would rather remain as reporters than managers.;amp;btkr=1

u/ThatAwesomeRedditor · 2 pointsr/books
u/ictatha · 1 pointr/socialskills

She also has a great book!

u/wearblc · 1 pointr/SocialAnxietyNYC

read the book [Quiet by Susan Cain](;amp;btkr=1

It helped me a lot with understanding what I need as an introverted/shy person in a job and in social interactions.

u/JGLion · 1 pointr/printSF

I think you're an introvert and realizing it. I've been there too, so I'm not going to suggest scifi, because that might not be something that would help you.

Just a thought. Some of us are given energy by being "socialable and normal", and some of us aren't. You may not have to go the whole aesthetic lifestyle.

u/SexyDickStuff · 1 pointr/bigdickproblems

I am an introverted person, and have had the same concerns you've had throughout my life. I really recommend reading the book Quite, it helped me come to terms and build confidence in the way I naturally communicate.

u/peaceandlovetoyou · 1 pointr/selfhelp

This book is about introverts and it has received amazing reviews:;amp;btkr=1

u/sassyma · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

It's hard for extroverts to understand the need to be alone.My husband just read a book about introverts and he said it explains introversion really well. It's called [Quiet] (;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1396139105&amp;amp;sr=1-1&amp;amp;keywords=introvert)