How do you communicate?

We all have different styles of communicating in life in order to achieve a particular goal.  However, in relationships and matters of the corazon (heart), we often use one of these tools intimidate, seduce, or negotiate according to Dr. Pat Allen

Intimidators is the most aggressive type of “Control Drama” where the user tries to scare you into deferring to their control in the relationship. Thus, this is the most dangerous of manipulation devices since some Intimidator’s resort to violence to ensure that the game works.

You know when you are relating to an Intimidator when you sense an air of aggression in another’s demeanor and attitude. This person has usually grown up in an environment where he, or she could not gain energy in his/her early childhood in any other way.  There’s no winning with this type of communicator as his/her fuel is you being passive and no one can survive being 24/7 passive.

Seduce individuals who use seduction to communicate are certain of who they are, what they want, what they have to offer and the value of what they have to offer, yet they neither show off nor are they too eager to impress and please.  They attract other people in their surroundings because they inspire others with their intensity.  They are mysterious and constantly changing and emerging as a new person. They are adaptable, flexible and innovative in dealing with people.

Negotiate this type of communicator finds ways to make mutually beneficial trades. They “enlarge the pie” rather than just fight over slices of a smaller one.  Negotiations often end in compromise. One party gives a little, the other gives a little, you end up somewhere in the middle. Negotiators see the big picture of any situation.  They are adaptable because they are able to use their negotiating skills to acquire any desired result as they consider what the other person wants and needs.

How will you communicate today?

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