Readers' Submissions

Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes Part 380

  • Written by Dana
  • May 18th, 2013
  • 4 min read

Hello Dana fans and Stickman fans:

Here is Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes — Part 380. We start with an Introductory thought and then two little essays. Enjoy.


Recently, children's' names like Moon Unit and Chastity and Anal have drawn attention to themselves. How about Stardust Chaos and Tombstone as children's' names: the same names as these two essays? In fact, I may have finally received incentive to become a father. I could name my children names from the titles of my stories and articles and essays. Names for little girl babies and boy babies like Emerald Eyes, Iconic, Swandives, Pestilence, Pull, and Hitler's Panties. How do I think of these ideas? Genius.


The arrow of time cannot be denied. And its universal symptom is entropy. All is entropy and time can not be denied. Everything will fall apart. Result? Eventually, your relationship with your Thai girlfriend (teeruk) will fall apart. It is written in the laws of time and physics and indifferent cold stardust. Every moment of joy and wonder will become a cosmic memory of no importance except as a personal highway marker of your life. 'I Remember When' as a mantra of memory. Every relationship has only decay and chaos as it's future. Dig up a long dead corpse and look at the degradation. You are involved in that process right now.

Order to disorder is your 'living together' future. Whatever you started with on your first day was your baseline for order. That is when the relationship was launched and from then on it is all downhill. The smart human harnesses this knowledge, masquerades it as wisdom, and smiles over time surrounded by chaos. There are few wise humans and they are usually impossible to spot. They do not call attention to themselves. Their acceptance of time and entropy places them in a different wisdom dimension. Who would they be able to communicate with? Singularity is the price paid for wisdom.

Your twenty year old Essan minx makes comment on your sixty-three year old erections not being the same as the erections of twenty year olds. For her, time is a tool to hurt others. She has the power of youth. She hasn't ridden the arrow of time long enough to have achieved wisdom, only selfishness. Wouldn't it be fun to gather up one hundred of these Essan wonders and speed up time? Now, suddenly they are all sixty-three years old. Enough?

No, we have only started. Now we strip them naked and place them on boxes on the Pattaya boardwalk. Far enough apart for variety and close enough for them to see each other. No longer young and tight and firm, now homosapien evidence of time and entropy. Living examples of dust to dust. In this state would they acquire additional wisdom and kindness? Probably not. I spend part of every day hating women and hating time. Please God, please give me back my twenty year old erections.

If someday your monger amble on the boardwalk shows aged Thai minxes standing on boxes, that is my gift to everybody. You need to know every card in the deck to achieve wisdom, and you need to achieve wisdom to know happiness. Honk if you love Buddhism; even the pagan influenced and 'Buddha-as-God' flawed Buddhism of Thailand. The Middle Way is the way of the card sharp who knows where all of the cards are all of the time. Eternal life is only available when you put aging on ice. You substitute wisdom for the emotional hurts of time. Your selfish and mean-spirited Thai girlfriend can not hurt you because she can not surprise you. She thinks she holds the winning cards of youth, but you see all of the cards. Wisdom has released you from the binds of time.


"Just for fun I am going to come in from the west with the sun at my back–a mythic entrance of power and advertisement. I am the fastest homo sapien on this third planet from the sun traveling without passport or obstacle. My existence is my political portfolio and all governments smile and turn away as I enter their airspaces and territorial trivialities. I am Dana."

I am thinking of having this chiseled into my black quartzite tombstone. Let me know what you think. Do not give any correspondence on this important subject directly to Fa on the boardwalk: there have been many, many, many, many, many incidents. I have said it in the past and I say it again as an act of love to each and every one of you: Stay Away From Fa. Fa has only three dependable skills: smiling, dropping her pants, and stuffing money into her purse. Anything else is like herding cats. You do not want to be involved.

I have twice loaned her money to make her rent. She was supposed to pay me back. Does anyone want to guess if I ever saw that money again? So if you have any contributions you would like to make on the subject of my tombstone text just leave it with an office girl at Dana Enterprises on South Pattaya Road. Look for the sidewalk birdcages and walk towards the sound of Isaan music. Ting or Ling or Fing or Fang can help you (stay away from Booger). I may be in but of course you know better than to try and attract my attention.