Numb. Distracted. Avoidance.

A Widow’s Self Reflection on Healing.

It’s easy to preach about living in the moment when we’re numbing out or avoiding reality.

When we create false moments through parties, drinking, shopping, drugs, food, gossip, social media, etc. In order to avoid our feelings about our actual reality, it’s so very easy to tell ourself that we live in the moment.

I was numb for a very long time. So numb that I had to seek outside sources of pleasure for myself in order to remind myself that I even had feelings at all. I was not totally dead inside yet, but my soul definitely slipped in and out of a coma-like state for a while.

Pain and trauma do that to a human. Our bodies are hard wired to shut it all down and encase the tender parts of us with iron clad armor.

*Note: before you tell yourself that you haven’t experienced pain or trauma, I challenge you to look honestly at your life. And the truth of it. It may not have been a tragedy that made headlines, but most trauma is quieter than that. It’s quieter than the word itself. So quiet that we tell ourselves it was nothing, dismissing our tender feelings and opting to suit up with the armor instead.

The thing no one could ever truly convey about healing, because you have to live it to know it, is that it gets ugly. The mind and body will literally battle the soul, clinging to the armor that protected the whole of the three so well, for so long.

Living in the moment, truly living in the moment, is actually brutal when you are recovering from something. Peeling off the armor, then removing the distractions that numb us is beyond uncomfortable. It is painful. The truth of our trauma is painful and forcing ourselves to feel it, is counter intuitive to our human nature to survive.

It takes patience and bravery to let the soul take over the mind and body like this… because the soul knows best; it also takes a type of self love that most of us are not nearly as used to giving ourselves as we should be.. (I’m sorry for that… because we all deserve to love ourself.)

If we can get here, if we can force our ourselves to peel away the armor, remove the distractions, look at the truth and feel it for as painful as it is, it will truly suck.

It will truly suck.

This process brings us to a breaking point, and just when we think we will break, we choose something better than the numbing distractions of the past. We call out to Him… and feel the relief.

There’s relief on the other side of that pain. There’s pain on the other side of that numbness. There’s bravery in venturing past those hurdles…. And there’s whole wide life to be lived on the other side of it all.

Remember, life is going to hit you hard with a lot of crappy stuff. Might as well live anyways.

I believe in you,


The greatest compliment: “You’ve Changed”

Maybe you’re like me..


Maybe you’ve let one too many wolves tell you they’re sheep.







Say “no.”

Say “that doesn’t work for me”

And watch who stays.

Watch who says you’ve changed and phases out of your life…


#shewaseasiertokill #wolfinsheepsclothing






2019 was truly the worst year of my life.




I was not fine.

I went on a war path.








I digress though.








▪️Almost 3 years after the trial,

▪️5 years after the tragic loss of Scott,




( And my hair is better too 🙂)




So that’s why I am letting go 🦅

Thank you for reading this far!




Big love, Megan

25 Famous People who Battled with Learning in School

➡️ Steven Spielberg was 2 grades behind his peers. Some of his administrators called him lazy.

➡️ Pulitzer Prize-winning author and poet, Phillip Schultz, did not learn to read until he was 11 years old.

➡️ John Irving, author of Cider House Rules, which was later adapted into a movie, was dyslexic and in the remedial spelling group.

➡️ Science journalist, Garrett Cook, a Pulitzer Prize winner, cannot write by hand nor read aloud.

➡️ Ben Carson, a neurosurgeon, presidential candidate, and U. S. Secretary of Housing and Urban development was considered the “dumbest” kid in his 5th grade class.

➡️ Helen Taussig, a leading pediatric cardiologist of the 21st century, was considered “mentally retarded” by some of her teachers.

➡️ Channing Tatum was in special education.

➡️ Diane Swonk, an economic advisor on the Federal Reserve board, does not know left from right, couldn’t memorize her times tables, add a column of numbers, or read a speech.

➡️ Charles Schwabb the CEO of the the largest brokerage firm in the U. S. flunked English twice and was dyslexic.

➡️ Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran graduated high school with a D average.

➡️ Billionaire Richard Branson was called stupid and lazy all of his life.

➡️ Olympic swimmer, Michael Phelps, lives with ADHD and was told he’d never be successful.

➡️ Vince Vaughn had learning disabilities throughout school and was in special education classes.

➡️ Screenwriter, inventor, professor, and one of Time Magazines 100 Most Influential people, Temple Grandin, has autism.

➡️ Robert Toth, a Smithsonian artist, failed 4th grade three times and didn’t learn to read until he was 12.

➡️ Tommy Hilfiger struggled with reading and writing in school.

➡️ Public motivational speaker and radio host, Les Brown, was called the “dumb twin” and deemed “uneducable” and “mentally retarded”.

➡️ Bram Cohen, founder of groundbreaking data sharing network: BitTorrent, has Asperger’s.

➡️ David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue, has ADD and could not pass standardized testing in school.

➡️ Shark Tank’s Daymond John has dyslexia.

➡️ PGA Champion Golfer, John E. Morgan was bullied throughout his school age for his learning disabilities.

➡️ The CEO of the Cleveland Clinic had learning troubles in school.

➡️ David Goggins, ultra marathon runner and the only member of the U.S. armed forces ever to complete training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger and Air Force Tactical Air Controller, could barely read as a teenager.

➡️ The first athlete ever to win perfect 10s in a World Championship, 4 time gold medalist, Greg Louganis, was in special education.

➡️ Steve Jobs was dyslexic and dropped out of college.

What do these facts say to you?

💥 There is no mystery person without issues who’s better than you. The person you think of right now who seems to have it all, does not.
💥 Stop comparing your beginning to someone else’s peak! You have no idea of their battles.
💥Life is not “me versus them”. It is “us vs the struggles”
💥 Do not ever let a single person, group, or system define you.
💥The world is designed to beat you into submission, forcing a resignation from you.

Don’t do it! Fight! ⚔️

You are capable of greatness. You bring value to this world as you are. Right now. Completely perfect.

I believe in you.
Go get it 😉

#youregoingtostruggleanyways #mightaswelllive

Doubt and Why It Should Piss You Off

Everything starts with one idea. Everything.





The 3 Main Sources of Doubt:

  1.  Self
  2. Environment
  3. Natural Obstacles and Challenges

IMG_3040 2


I’ve been known to say that doubt is a hologram.


Big Love,




Follow me:


Instagram: @31mainstreet




%d bloggers like this: