sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
ejw0l6
|
Feeling very hopeless
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Context: I am a victim of familial CSA, emotional abuse and a recent traumatic surgery which has triggered this downward spiral.
6 months ago I was this happy, career-driven person. Now that this has all happened, I’ve realised and relived all my traumas and can’t really ever seem to ground myself. I’ve put my career on hold and now I can only bring myself to work part time because of severe generalised anxiety. I am constantly depressed and the destabilisation has thrown all enjoyable activities out the window. I have no hobbies. I’ve isolated myself from everyone bar my partner and maybe 2 friends. My previously “loving and supportive” family no longer have those associations, as I’ve uncovered most of my repressed trauma stemming from them.
I feel very alone and right now it really feels like I’ve ruined my life. I have no motivation for anything, and I am 100% dependent on my partner. It feels like I’m suffocating him, but it’s the only way I can feel functional now. When I’m at home without him, I count the minutes until he comes home. Really I’m living a pretty pathetic existence and most of the time I just want it to end. I’m taking medication and am currently in therapy but I don’t feel any better. I could really use some help.
|
visconder
| 3
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-04 12:19:39
|
ptsd
|
<es>Context: I am a victim of familial CSA, emotional abuse and a recent traumatic surgery which has triggered this downward spiral.<ee> <es>6 months ago I was this happy, career-driven person.<ee> <es>Now that this has all happened, I’ve realised and relived all my traumas and can’t really ever seem to ground myself.<ee> <es>I’ve put my career on hold and now I can only bring myself to work part time because of severe generalised anxiety.<ee> <efs>I am constantly depressed and the destabilisation has thrown all enjoyable activities out the window.<efe> <es>I have no hobbies.<ee> <es>I’ve isolated myself from everyone bar my partner and maybe 2 friends.<ee> <es>My previously “loving and supportive” family no longer have those associations, as I’ve uncovered most of my repressed trauma stemming from them.<ee> <efs>I feel very alone and right now it really feels like I’ve ruined my life.<efe> <es>I have no motivation for anything, and I am 100% dependent on my partner.<ee> <efs>It feels like I’m suffocating him, but it’s the only way I can feel functional now.<efe> <es>When I’m at home without him, I count the minutes until he comes home.<ee> <efs>Really I’m living a pretty pathetic existence and most of the time I just want it to end.<efe> <efs>I’m taking medication and am currently in therapy but I don’t feel any better.<efe> <rs>I could really use some help.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 1
| null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you feel better
| null | true
| 221
|
eigfsf
|
I want to get sober but can't find a treatment center that will take my insurance.
|
1a
|
rant
| 3
|
I live in Northern California and I'm on state insurance. Due to a concussion I suffered a couple weeks ago when I was arrested, I lost my job. My slumlord is evicting me and I have no where to go.
I've tried finding a treatment center (it has to be in state) to go to through my insurance but every place I've called has told me they don't take my state HealthNet insurance.
My poison is literally poison, alcohol. I've been a full functioning alcoholic for 15 years. I have tried to quit myself and while I was successful twice in that time, each time only lasted 4 months.
I tried again it was not like the other times. I need medical detox this time.
My body felt like it was shutting down so in order to function, so I picked it back up.
I'm surviving on Body Armor super hydration drinks and V8 and vodka and as of today I haven't eaten since 12/18 because food makes me throw up.
I'm a mess. My life is a mess, my house is a mess, and I'm trying to set it up for an estate sale because I can't fit 4 bedrooms worth of stuff in my car. I have a 17 year old cat whom I cannot find a foster for because let's be real, I can't live in my car (that has no heater) with her.
But I have been so weak since Sunday.
I have a heart condition in which my heartrate doesn't drop below 120. When I finally went to the hospital for the concussion, when the paramedics picked me up my heartrate was 160 and they wanted to give me adenosine again (they say it slows your heart way down but the second injection they gave me immediately after the first stopped my heart in May).
On Sunday I woke up suddenly (so I was sober at that point), I think that I had a heart attack. I'm not a doctor but after several hours of it feeling like someone was crushing my heart and like I had been given adenosine again even though I hadn't, I Dr. Googled my symptoms. I had every one that on the list.
I refuse to go to my local tiny town hospital due to the fact that any time I got for anything legit (like my appendix needing to be removed) they just call me an alcoholic and never take me seriously.
I'm a 34 y/o female and I'll probably die soon if I can't get treatment. 2019 was the worst year of my life and I had wanted to start 2020 sober but so far I've already failed.
Happy New Year!
|
thebrightorangedawn
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-01 09:10:42
|
addiction
|
<rs>I want to get sober but can't find a treatment center that will take my insurance.<re> <es>I live in Northern California and I'm on state insurance.<ee> <es>Due to a concussion I suffered a couple weeks ago when I was arrested, I lost my job.<ee> <es>My slumlord is evicting me and I have no where to go. <ee> <es>I've tried finding a treatment center (it has to be in state) to go to through my insurance but every place I've called has told me they don't take my state HealthNet insurance. <ee> <es>My poison is literally poison, alcohol.<ee> <es>I've been a full functioning alcoholic for 15 years.<ee> <es>I have tried to quit myself and while I was successful twice in that time, each time only lasted 4 months. <ee> <es>I tried again it was not like the other times.<ee> I need medical detox this time. <efs>My body felt like it was shutting down so in order to function, so I picked it back up. <efe> <efs>I'm surviving on Body Armor super hydration drinks and V8 and vodka and as of today I haven't eaten since 12/18 because food makes me throw up. <efe> <es>I'm a mess.<ee> <es>My life is a mess, my house is a mess, and I'm trying to set it up for an estate sale because I can't fit 4 bedrooms worth of stuff in my car.<ee> <es>I have a 17 year old cat whom I cannot find a foster for because let's be real, I can't live in my car (that has no heater) with her. <ee> <efs>But I have been so weak since Sunday.<efe> <es>I have a heart condition in which my heartrate doesn't drop below 120.<ee> <es>When I finally went to the hospital for the concussion, when the paramedics picked me up my heartrate was 160 and they wanted to give me adenosine again (they say it slows your heart way down but the second injection they gave me immediately after the first stopped my heart in May).<ee> <es>On Sunday I woke up suddenly (so I was sober at that point), I think that I had a heart attack.<ee> <efs>I'm not a doctor but after several hours of it feeling like someone was crushing my heart and like I had been given adenosine again even though I hadn't, I Dr. Googled my symptoms.<efe> I had every one that on the list. <es>I refuse to go to my local tiny town hospital due to the fact that any time I got for anything legit (like my appendix needing to be removed) they just call me an alcoholic and never take me seriously. <ee> <es>I'm a 34 y/o female and I'll probably die soon if I can't get treatment.<ee> <es>2019 was the worst year of my life and I had wanted to start 2020 sober but so far I've already failed. <ee> Happy New Year!
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
title
| true
| 222
|
eiaflc
|
Need some clothes that don't stand out too much, but look ok on me (MALE)
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
MALE - These colors go well to match my skin tone, hair and beard : Olive green, light brown, peach, any warm undertone, any earth undertone, etc. Blue eyes. I'm 19. Please suggest me some good clothing items that don't stand out. Prefer wearing coat in this weather because I get cold easily.
|
shamelessrainfall
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2019-12-31 23:14:19
|
socialanxiety
|
MALE - These colors go well to match my skin tone, hair and beard : Olive green, light brown, peach, any warm undertone, any earth undertone, etc. Blue eyes. I'm 19. Please suggest me some good clothing items that don't stand out. Prefer wearing coat in this weather because I get cold easily.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
evf546
|
Confidence Booster |Let Go Of Fear |Sadness |Grief |Guilt |396hz |Binaural Beats
|
0
|
chitchat
| 4
| null |
altona777
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-29 01:01:13
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
ein0gs
|
Don't Really Know What to Do
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Using an alt here, therefor the autogenerated name
&#x200B;
I've been a relatively anxious person most of my life, but it has always been mild. It never really interfered with my life so I didn't seek any help about it. However, about a month ago, a had a big panic attack while at university. I don't really know the cause, and I blamed it on finals at the time. I sought counseling services at the time through the school's psych office, and the sessions seemed to kind of help. However, since the semester end about 2 weeks ago and I went home for the holidays, the anxiety has come back to a level even worse than before. It's gotten to the point where I'll almost have a panic attack every other day. In between, I have a constant knowing feeling in my chest, my thoughts race and I can't sit still for more than a few minutes. This brings me to my present issue. As part of my university program, I'm leaving for a semester-abroad study program in 4 days. I know I need to do something now as this is getting unbearable, but I feel like at best I won't have time to do anything productive, and I'll have to deal with a foreign nation's system. At worst, I worry that if I reached out to a medical professional about this I'll just be seen as some lier trying to get pills for a long flight. I know it may seem like a stretch but does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? 4 days seems no where near enough to start any kind of meaningful treatment but I feel like I've hit the breaking point and have to do something now before I go.
|
Odd-Cockroach
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-01 20:08:05
|
Anxiety
|
Using an alt here, therefor the autogenerated name &#x200B; <es>I've been a relatively anxious person most of my life, but it has always been mild.<ee> <es>It never really interfered with my life so I didn't seek any help about it.<ee> <es>However, about a month ago, a had a big panic attack while at university.<ee> <es>I don't really know the cause, and I blamed it on finals at the time.<ee> <es>I sought counseling services at the time through the school's psych office, and the sessions seemed to kind of help.<ee> <es>However, since the semester end about 2 weeks ago and I went home for the holidays, the anxiety has come back to a level even worse than before.<ee> <es>It's gotten to the point where I'll almost have a panic attack every other day.<ee> <efs>In between, I have a constant knowing feeling in my chest, my thoughts race and I can't sit still for more than a few minutes.<efe> This brings me to my present issue. <es>As part of my university program, I'm leaving for a semester-abroad study program in 4 days.<ee> <es>I know I need to do something now as this is getting unbearable, but I feel like at best I won't have time to do anything productive, and I'll have to deal with a foreign nation's system.<ee> <efs>At worst, I worry that if I reached out to a medical professional about this I'll just be seen as some lier trying to get pills for a long flight.<efe> <rs>I know it may seem like a stretch but does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?<re> <efs>4 days seems no where near enough to start any kind of meaningful treatment but I feel like I've hit the breaking point and have to do something now before I go.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ek6twd
|
Not an artist, but my favorite pen art
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
KrispeeJuan
| 31
| 0
| 10
|
2020-01-05 02:44:29
|
mentalillness
|
Not an artist, but my favorite pen art nan
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
thought,title
| true
| 0
|
eivefa
|
sensitivity
|
1a
|
rant
| 2
|
I really hate blowing up or getting extremely frustrated over the smallest thing..
I really hate not being able to let go of the past and my insecurities
I hate being incredibly insecure about my voice and how loud I can possibly be
I don’t want to upset others or annoy them but sometimes I don’t catch myself, I get overly excited or hyper/upswing moments where I can’t really calm down and sometimes I detach from control then get told I need to lower my voice, which I do. I know I need to.
But.. I can’t control my anger that stems from being told that, all that runs through my head is “you’re annoying them, you’re a bother, they hate you like the rest of them. sooner or later they’re not going to want you around because it’ll build up and become a bother.”
I know it’s small, and I know it’s something minute to get angry about but I can’t fucking control it. I hate it and I wish I was able to better but I’ve never been able to get over being sensitive about being told to quiet down ever since I was picked on for my volume in middle school. I don’t know, it’s stupid. I just needed somewhere to write this down.. I just don’t like my unregistered and off leash anger towards it. I feel like I overreact or that nobody understands so it’s just better not to talk about it because it wouldn’t make sense.
|
sarahfinaas
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-02 07:57:59
|
BPD
|
<efs>I really hate blowing up or getting extremely frustrated over the smallest thing..<efe> <efs>I really hate not being able to let go of the past and my insecurities<efe> <efs>I hate being incredibly insecure about my voice and how loud I can possibly be<efe> <es>I don’t want to upset others or annoy them but sometimes I don’t catch myself, I get overly excited or hyper/upswing moments where I can’t really calm down and sometimes I detach from control then get told I need to lower my voice, which I do.<ee> <rs>I know I need to.<re> <es>But.. I can’t control my anger that stems from being told that, all that runs through my head is “you’re annoying them, you’re a bother, they hate you like the rest of them. sooner or later they’re not going to want you around because it’ll build up and become a bother.”<ee> <es>I know it’s small, and I know it’s something minute to get angry about but I can’t fucking control it.<ee> <es>I hate it and I wish I was able to better but I’ve never been able to get over being sensitive about being told to quiet down ever since I was picked on for my volume in middle school.<ee> <es>I don’t know, it’s stupid.<ee> <rs>I just needed somewhere to write this down.. I just don’t like my unregistered and off leash anger towards it.<re> <efs>I feel like I overreact or that nobody understands so it’s just better not to talk about it because it wouldn’t make sense.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
f227jw
|
Bad people are bad.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
Long story short, two years ago, a "friend" of mine blamed me for being raped. I cut her off. Two years later, I decided to reach out to her again, because a mutual friend of ours told me about how lonely and depressed she is. She did it again. I thought she had changed, but she didn't. She said that what happened was subconsciously consensual and then tried to look innocent by talking about how her boyfriend's mom didn't choose to "go into the bear den" like I did. I cut her off, told our mutual friend about it, and now the girl I cut off is saying I'm manipulative and "didn't change" and that our mutual friend "enables me [putting myself into risky situations]", which is complete and utter bullshit. There's too many bad people in my life.
|
NEETAdjacent
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-02-11 03:18:01
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>Long story short, two years ago, a "friend" of mine blamed me for being raped.<ee> <es>I cut her off.<ee> <es>Two years later, I decided to reach out to her again, because a mutual friend of ours told me about how lonely and depressed she is.<ee> <es>She did it again.<ee> <es>I thought she had changed, but she didn't.<ee> <es>She said that what happened was subconsciously consensual and then tried to look innocent by talking about how her boyfriend's mom didn't choose to "go into the bear den" like I did.<ee> <es>I cut her off, told our mutual friend about it, and now the girl I cut off is saying I'm manipulative and "didn't change" and that our mutual friend "enables me [putting myself into risky situations]", which is complete and utter bullshit.<ee> <es>There's too many bad people in my life.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your friend's words
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your friend blamed you for getting raped
| null | true
| 200
|
ei7oh8
|
Try to see through the tears...
|
0
|
rant
| 1
| null |
Elite__yeet
| 1
| 0
| 9
|
2019-12-31 19:36:43
|
sad
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ek3tu5
|
Quick question about anxiety.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I've had lots of troubles with anxiety in my teens (now 26). I became more and more locked inside my room.
After years of struggle I finally told my parents I they send me to some therapist.
I left after one session because it's too awkward and "becoming better" means doing weird social stuff to confront your fears. How does one go to therapy while having social anxiety?
I finally live on my own now and doing better on parts like hobbies and making money, but the fear stays. I'm afraid that one day it will become too much and I will say farewell forever. Social anxiety is worse than depression, IMO.
|
KaasStok
| 4
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-04 22:45:19
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>I've had lots of troubles with anxiety in my teens (now 26).<ee> <es>I became more and more locked inside my room.<ee> <es>After years of struggle I finally told my parents I they send me to some therapist.<ee> <es>I left after one session because it's too awkward and "becoming better" means doing weird social stuff to confront your fears.<ee> <rs>How does one go to therapy while having social anxiety?<Re> <es>I finally live on my own now and doing better on parts like hobbies and making money, but the fear stays.<ee> <es>I'm afraid that one day it will become too much and I will say farewell forever.<ee> Social anxiety is worse than depression, IMO.
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the therapy
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eic5j8
|
I'm done with life
|
1a
|
rant
| 4
| null |
ihatelifejustkillme
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 01:35:57
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
Statement
| true
| 0
|
eibv8h
|
Friends didn’t invite me to their New Years party?
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
Guess who’s all alone on New Years? Me! Cause my friends didn’t even bother to invite me. I confronted her about it and she was like “miss you!❤️ well all hangout soon.” Like thanks... they all have boyfriends now and hangout all together and left me in the dust. I’m always alone and abandoned
|
lildanibb
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-01 01:10:38
|
depression
|
Guess who’s all alone on New Years? Me! <es>Cause my friends didn’t even bother to invite me.<ee> I confronted her about it and she was like “miss you!❤️ well all hangout soon.” <es>Like thanks... they all have boyfriends now and hangout all together and left me in the dust.<ee> <efs>I’m always alone and abandoned<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel so alone
| null | true
| 220
|
ft6doz
|
So tired of depression and medication related sexual dysfunction. (NSFW obviously)
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
I've been on Cipralex (escitalopram) for 2 years, mostly for anxiety. Through the 2 years, it's progressively worsened my sexual function. I went through a rough patch about 4 months ago, and had Wellbutrin added (150mg). My doctor was also hopeful that it will help with the sexual dysfunction, as well as help my depression. I was hopeful that it would help. Now, 4 months after, I still am barely horny, when I am and when I masturbate, I can barely stay aroused, it's very difficult to stay hard, and I have to really push myself to have an orgasm. Like, I literally have to tense all my muscles, hold my breath and really push myself to orgasm. And when I do orgasm, my orgasms are suuuuuper unsatisfying. My doctor upped my dosage of Wellbutrin to 300mg, which I might start tomorrow, so hopefully that will help. Once the world is less hectic, my doctor wants to wean me off the escitalopram.
Im just so tired of this sexual dysfunction. I used to be the kind of guy to always have rock hard erections, and I used to have mind blowing orgasms, and ejaculate over my head most times. Now, orgasms are just lacklustre, and I barely ejaculate much.
|
scotchtwink
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-04-01 19:05:29
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>I've been on Cipralex (escitalopram) for 2 years, mostly for anxiety.<ee> <efs>Through the 2 years, it's progressively worsened my sexual function.<efe> <es>I went through a rough patch about 4 months ago, and had Wellbutrin added (150mg).<ee> <es>My doctor was also hopeful that it will help with the sexual dysfunction, as well as help my depression.<ee> <es>I was hopeful that it would help.<ee> <efs>Now, 4 months after, I still am barely horny, when I am and when I masturbate, I can barely stay aroused, it's very difficult to stay hard, and I have to really push myself to have an orgasm.<efe> <es>Like, I literally have to tense all my muscles, hold my breath and really push myself to orgasm.<ee> <efs>And when I do orgasm, my orgasms are suuuuuper unsatisfying.<efe> <es>My doctor upped my dosage of Wellbutrin to 300mg, which I might start tomorrow, so hopefully that will help.<ee> <es>Once the world is less hectic, my doctor wants to wean me off the escitalopram.<ee> <efs>Im just so tired of this sexual dysfunction.<efe><es> I used to be the kind of guy to always have rock hard erections, and I used to have mind blowing orgasms, and ejaculate over my head most times.<ee> <efs>Now, orgasms are just lacklustre, and I barely ejaculate much.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you have sexual dysfunction and depression
| null | true
| 220
|
elto0u
|
I was low key raped as a teenager and I need some advice on what to do cause I’m just now realizing that I’ve been through some wack stuff in my life.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Yeah so I went camping with family and we set up our tents. I have a very large family with new family members like every year. I’m 19 now and this happened when I was like 15-16? So while we were sleeping my step cousin which keep in mind was just gay at the time (now a trans) slipped his hand up my shorts and sucked my dick. I didn’t do anything about it either, I sat there took it while my body was shaking in fucking fear. I didn’t know what to do, I closed my eyes and thought of my girlfriend keep in mind I was a virgin at the time. I’m just now realizing that this guy fr fucking raped me, and idk how to tell my parents. Like I’m not gay but does this make me gay? lol I’m very introverted and feel like my life’s gone to shit, I’ve had very good looking girlfriends which I sometimes get too clingy with. I’m a good looking guy I have a gorgeous gf and I use to be the center of attention in high school I feel like I’ve just gone through some shit and I’m that lowest part of my life rn. I’m on medication with no one but my parents knowing. I got diagnosed with major depression like a month ago, could this be something that fucked with my brain? No way I just typed this 💀
|
aponcex7
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-08 14:50:44
|
rapecounseling
|
<es> I was low key raped as a teenager.<ee> <rs>I need some advice on what to do cause I’m just now realizing that I’ve been through some wack stuff in my life.<re> <es>Yeah so I went camping with family and we set up our tents.<ee> <es>I have a very large family with new family members like every year.<ee> <es>I’m 19 now and this happened when I was like 15-16?<ee> <es>So while we were sleeping my step cousin which keep in mind was just gay at the time (now a trans) slipped his hand up my shorts and sucked my dick.<ee> <es>I didn’t do anything about it either, I sat there took it while my body was shaking in fucking fear.<ee> <es>I didn’t know what to do, I closed my eyes and thought of my girlfriend keep in mind I was a virgin at the time.<ee> <es>I’m just now realizing that this guy fr fucking raped me, and idk how to tell my parents.<ee> <rs>Like I’m not gay but does this make me gay?<re> <efs>lol I’m very introverted and feel like my life’s gone to shit.<efe> <es>I’ve had very good looking girlfriends which I sometimes get too clingy with.<ee> <es>I’m a good looking guy I have a gorgeous gf and I use to be the center of attention in high school I feel like I’ve just gone through some shit and I’m that lowest part of my life rn.<ee> <es>I’m on medication with no one but my parents knowing.<ee> <es>I got diagnosed with major depression like a month ago.<ee> <rs>could this be something that fucked with my brain? <re>No way I just typed this 💀
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ei9jpk
|
Anyone looking to talk?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I feel like I’m a drain and the source of everyone’s problems. Please, I just need to talk to someone who won’t judge.
|
bummyfunny
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2019-12-31 22:03:01
|
depression
|
<efs>I feel like I’m a drain and the source of everyone’s problems.<efe> <rs>Please, I just need to talk to someone who won’t judge.<re>
| 0
| 1
| 2
|
What made you feel X ?
|
what you have been causing problems for others
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about causing problems for others
| null | null | null | true
| 12
|
ekyiuk
|
Confrontation on my driveway project
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Being an introvert means you want to avoid confrontation at all costs. Well I just screwed myself into a sticky position. I hired a local construction company to fix my driveway. Long story short, my driveway was basically a cliff and my car scraped each time I went up it. So I met this dude at my property for a consult. He said he was going to dig out the existing concrete, install drains and level the driveway. He got there this morning and texted me pics of the finished product at noon. It looks great, but no drains, and it doesn't look like he dug any of the concrete out that was causing the problem. So now I'm left with this, I haven't paid him yet. We are planning on meeting up tonight at a gas station to exchange payment. I want to see what's up, but scared of the confrontation. Adulting sucks, but being an introvert on top of that is horrible. any suggestions on how I should approach this?
|
Torileighh97
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-06 19:02:08
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socialanxiety
|
Being an introvert means you want to avoid confrontation at all costs. <es>Well I just screwed myself into a sticky position.<ee> <es>I hired a local construction company to fix my driveway.<ee> <es>Long story short, my driveway was basically a cliff and my car scraped each time I went up it.<ee> <es>So I met this dude at my property for a consult.<ee> <es>He said he was going to dig out the existing concrete, install drains and level the driveway.<ee> <es>He got there this morning and texted me pics of the finished product at noon.<ee> <es>It looks great, but no drains, and it doesn't look like he dug any of the concrete out that was causing the problem.<ee> <es>So now I'm left with this, I haven't paid him yet.<ee> <es>We are planning on meeting up tonight at a gas station to exchange payment.<ee> <efs>I want to see what's up, but scared of the confrontation.<efe> Adulting sucks, but being an introvert on top of that is horrible. <rs>any suggestions on how I should approach this?<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you feel afraid of confrontation
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
el482z
|
Help
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
First off i want to say that i dont know if this is the right sub to post this. English is not my first language, expressing my self in english is really hard for me, and this is on mobile yadda yadda....
Im just falling appart, i am always angry, like really really angry all the time, constantly fantasizing about different outcomes from things from the past, and imagined present/future things.
From the outside my life looks great, but i always feel so f***** angry, wich is really affecting my life, and after googling and searching for therapy and realizing i cant afford anything i dont know what to do.
If this is the wrong sub please point me to the right one. Im at my wits end.
|
TheGrammatikialError
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-07 01:47:47
|
Anger
|
First off i want to say that i dont know if this is the right sub to post this. English is not my first language, expressing my self in english is really hard for me, and this is on mobile yadda yadda.... <es>Im just falling appart, i am always angry, like really really angry all the time, constantly fantasizing about different outcomes from things from the past, and imagined present/future things.<ee> <efs>From the outside my life looks great, but i always feel so f***** angry, wich is really affecting my life, and after googling and searching for therapy and realizing i cant afford anything i dont know what to do.<efe> If this is the wrong sub please point me to the right one. Im at my wits end.
| 1
| 2
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what causes your anger
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel troubled by your anger
| null | true
| 120
|
eiax7s
|
I Don't Want To Numb The Pain Anymore
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
I wake up, i numb myself to my suicidal thoughts and awful life, i go to work, i eat, and i fall asleep. Repeat . I hate my routine. I don't want my life to revolve around numbing myself . I just want to be happy again. Or dead.
|
Hurtindividual
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2019-12-31 23:53:48
|
depression
|
<es>I wake up, i numb myself to my suicidal thoughts and awful life, i go to work, i eat, and i fall asleep.<ee> Repeat . <efs>I hate my routine.<efe> <rs>I don't want my life to revolve around numbing myself .<re> <rs>I just want to be happy again.<re> Or dead.
| 1
| 1
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused you to have suicidal thoughts
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about your life
| null | null | null | true
| 112
|
ers5w3
|
Issues with entitlement
|
1a
|
rant
| 2
|
Hi Reddit,
Apologies for the throwaway account. Basically wanted to describe a largely self-diagnosed personality problem I have, then see if anyone else has the same problem and what they did about it.
&#x200B;
I think it basically boils down to "entitlement" but perhaps it's multiple things going on:
* If someone "wrongs" me, I tend to respond with passive-aggressive / attention seeking behaviour, hoping that the antagonist will notice they've done something wrong. I basically don't assert myself.
* If something in life is challenging or new, I have a tendency to avoid failure by deliberately sabotaging my results so that I can lie to myself that "I could have done it, had I actually tried".
* I somehow have a sense there is an omniscient being/force that will notice when I've been short-changed in life and will ensure I'm given what I'm due. For example the sense of the ideal woman falling from the sky without actually going to make an effort to meet her.
So yeah, I guess the first step is I at least recognise I have a problem. I saw a psychologist for a few months trying to work on this problem (among others) but didn't really get anywhere, many thousands of dollars later. So thought I'd try a different avenue. Thanks Reddit ;)
For the record - I don't \_actually\_ believe in god or any sentient being.
|
Sufficient-Side
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-21 09:13:25
|
selfhelp
|
Hi Reddit, Apologies for the throwaway account. <rs>Basically wanted to describe a largely self-diagnosed personality problem I have, then see if anyone else has the same problem and what they did about it. <re> &#x200B; <es>I think it basically boils down to "entitlement" but perhaps it's multiple things going on:<ee> <es>* If someone "wrongs" me, I tend to respond with passive-aggressive / attention seeking behaviour, hoping that the antagonist will notice they've done something wrong.<ee> <es>I basically don't assert myself.<ee> <es>* If something in life is challenging or new, I have a tendency to avoid failure by deliberately sabotaging my results so that I can lie to myself that "I could have done it, had I actually tried".<ee> <es>* I somehow have a sense there is an omniscient being/force that will notice when I've been short-changed in life and will ensure I'm given what I'm due.<ee> <es>For example the sense of the ideal woman falling from the sky without actually going to make an effort to meet her.<ee> <es>So yeah, I guess the first step is I at least recognise I have a problem.<ee> <es>I saw a psychologist for a few months trying to work on this problem (among others) but didn't really get anywhere, many thousands of dollars later.<ee> <es>So thought I'd try a different avenue.<ee> Thanks Reddit ;) <es>For the record - I don't \_actually\_ believe in god or any sentient being.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your entitlement issues
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
f3ulet
|
His name.
|
1b
|
rant
| 2
|
I fucking hate his name. It’s so common and I see it everywhere at work, and every time I get this wave of nausea and absolute rage and feel sad and can barely keep from crying. My heart races and I start trembling. I just instantly remember everything he did to me and the fact that he got exactly what he wanted and is just living his happy little life, probably dating other girls who have no idea what a fucking monster he is. Meanwhile I’m about to go on fucking anti depressants this coming week because after 6 months I’m still a fucking train wreck and think about killing myself 24/7. Men disgust me, sex disgusts me, my own fucking body disgusts me. I feel like my whole life has been derailed. I should be having fun and dating so I can one day get married and have a family like I’d always wanted, but I look at every man and secretly think he’d do the same damn thing to me if he got the chance. I don’t feel comfortable being alone with any of them.
He treated me like a fucking toy, like he was just living out his secret hardcore porn fantasies he’d been nursing. I know he watched porn too, cause he fucking told me. They say rape is a crime drive by power but in my case, it really felt more about his sexual pleasure than anything else.
I literally hope his fucking kid dies. I know that’s awful, and I don’t. Fucking. Care.
|
clarvoyages
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-02-14 16:28:36
|
rapecounseling
|
<efs>I fucking hate his name.<efe> <efs>It’s so common and I see it everywhere at work, and every time I get this wave of nausea and absolute rage and feel sad and can barely keep from crying.<efe> <efs>My heart races and I start trembling.<efe> <es>I just instantly remember everything he did to me and the fact that he got exactly what he wanted and is just living his happy little life, probably dating other girls who have no idea what a fucking monster he is.<ee> <es>Meanwhile I’m about to go on fucking anti depressants this coming week because after 6 months I’m still a fucking train wreck and think about killing myself 24/7.<ee> <efs>Men disgust me, sex disgusts me, my own fucking body disgusts me.<efe> <efs>I feel like my whole life has been derailed.<efe> <es>I should be having fun and dating so I can one day get married and have a family like I’d always wanted, but I look at every man and secretly think he’d do the same damn thing to me if he got the chance.<ee> <efs>I don’t feel comfortable being alone with any of them. <efe> <es>He treated me like a fucking toy, like he was just living out his secret hardcore porn fantasies he’d been nursing.<ee> <es>I know he watched porn too, cause he fucking told me.<ee> <es>They say rape is a crime drive by power but in my case, it really felt more about his sexual pleasure than anything else.<ee> <efs>I literally hope his fucking kid dies.<efe> I know that’s awful, and I don’t. Fucking. Care.
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel your whole life has been derailed
| null | true
| 220
|
eit4uv
|
A promise to myself
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I made a promise to myself that I won't cut at all this year, I hope I keep that promise
|
suprisedpikachumeme
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-02 04:14:40
|
selfharm
|
<es>I made a promise to myself that I won't cut at all this year, I hope I keep that promise<ee>
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself
|
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting yourself
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you made a promise to not cut yourself
| null | true
| 100
|
eimk7w
|
I HATE GOING OUT TO EAT
|
1c
|
rant
| 1
|
After I finish my food, the intense bordem and having to sit still while waiting for the conversation to die makes me want to EXPLODE.
I can't even enjoy any conversation most of the time because the sitting still is killing me. Going out to eat is the only way my family decides to spend time together, so I feel rude about feeling so tense constantly.
|
BR1GHTBL4CK
| 1
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-01 19:35:20
|
ADHD
|
<es>After I finish my food, the intense bordem and having to sit still while waiting for the conversation to die makes me want to EXPLODE.<ee> <es>I can't even enjoy any conversation most of the time because the sitting still is killing me.<ee> <efs>Going out to eat is the only way my family decides to spend time together, so I feel rude about feeling so tense constantly.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel rude about feeling tense constantly
| null | true
| 220
|
elkool
|
Day 19
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I was in medication assisted detox for 2 weeks with a 10 day subutex taper and other meds. I was on methadone 60-75 mg for 7 years. Most of the symptoms have passed but my body still feels heavy and energy cannot be mustered. How long does this part last?
|
cleanslateslut
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-08 00:35:25
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>I was in medication assisted detox for 2 weeks with a 10 day subutex taper and other meds.<ee> <es>I was on methadone 60-75 mg for 7 years.<ee> <efs>Most of the symptoms have passed but my body still feels heavy and energy cannot be mustered.<efe> <rs>How long does this part last?<re>
| 1
| 2
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you were taking methadone
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
eiomwp
|
Advice Needed!!!!!
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Last night I went out for New Year's.
We left the club and got home. I don't remember any of this. I started an argument with my partner and i'm not sure what was said. Again I don't remember any of this. And about 5 minutes later I started to have a fitting session and was taken to hospital, a bunch of hours later they've established my last drink had been spiked and I'd had a bad reaction to it.
I've been dead weight for most of the day. It's now 10pm and I've only just been able get up.
But I feel horrendous. I feel a relapse approaching on a huge scale and I'm not sure how to stop it. I feel like an idiot and just want to close myself off again.
Does anyone have any advice on how to stop it?
|
moldrixx
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-01 22:10:15
|
BPD
|
<es>Last night I went out for New Year's. <ee> <es>We left the club and got home.<ee> <es>I don't remember any of this.<ee> <es>I started an argument with my partner and i'm not sure what was said.<ee> <es>Again I don't remember any of this.<ee> <es>And about 5 minutes later I started to have a fitting session and was taken to hospital, a bunch of hours later they've established my last drink had been spiked and I'd had a bad reaction to it.<ee> <es>I've been dead weight for most of the day.<ee> <es>It's now 10pm and I've only just been able get up.<ee> <efs>But I feel horrendous.<efe> <efs>I feel a relapse approaching on a huge scale and I'm not sure how to stop it.<efe> <efs>I feel like an idiot and just want to close myself off again.<efe> <rs>Does anyone have any advice on how to stop it?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eireph
|
I don’t know what career I wanna go for
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
I graduated high school in 2017 and I tried college for a year. Didn’t go so well. Currently working at my local newspaper and my parents are pushing me to go do something to get a career of some sort. The thing is I don’t know what I wanna do. Maybe something with computers or construction but I’m not sure. What are some careers that are manageable with ADHD? Possibly only needing an apprenticeship or trade school
|
Suitable-Potato
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-02 01:51:43
|
ADHD
|
<es>I graduated high school in 2017 and I tried college for a year.<ee> <es>Didn’t go so well.<ee> <es>Currently working at my local newspaper and my parents are pushing me to go do something to get a career of some sort.<ee> <es>The thing is I don’t know what I wanna do.<ee> <es>Maybe something with computers or construction but I’m not sure.<ee> <rs>What are some careers that are manageable with ADHD?<re> <rs>Possibly only needing an apprenticeship or trade school<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
going to college
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
elrp9o
|
Been off Adderall, wondering if the withdrawal will completely go away?
|
0
|
survey
| 3
|
I feel like the biggest encouragement would be hearing from someone who used it before and got over the mental withdrawal symptoms such as depression or anxiety completely or almost completely (bc life still has ups and downs) after some time.
I have my questions at the end but before that here is my story:
I am 21 years old and I started taking Adderall when I was 19. I took 10-15mg a day for 3 months, took a month long break, took 20-30mg a day for 3.5 months, took a 3 month long break, then took 20mg a day for a month and 30-60mg a day for 1.5 months. I was also a heavy weed user for almost 1 year during this whole time. Now I’m 2 months sober from both.
I decided to quit it because it was making me nervous, restless and paranoid lately but I recently figured out that I was slightly iron deficient. The day before I decided to quit I took 45mg of Adderall together with 500mg of 5-htp(an OTC supplement), a cup of coffee, and 100mg EGCG (green tea extract) and I started feeling rapid heart beats, extremely nervous and zoned out as if I’m having a serotonin syndrome.
From that day on I started experiencing panic attacks. A couple of weeks later my apetite decreased severely and crying spells started to happen. I started feeling extremely hopeless. My symptoms gradually decreased after starting iron supplementation as my doctor recommended but I feel depressed as well as have brain fog and I see vivid dreams frequently. I should also emphasize that I managed to sit down to study for my finals and did moderately after I started experiencing panic attacks although it was hard as hell to do while experiencing all this. However, I feel like my anxiety left its place to a depression that will never go away and sometimes the feeling of hopelessness gets so severe. I didn’t have any diagnosed mental illnesses but I was a heavy coffee user before this.
My first question is how severe does my usage look?
My second question is people who quit and had a similar dosage pattern as mine, how long did the depressive symptoms last or did it diminish to the point that you started enjoying the life again?
Finally, am I experiencing the symptoms of withdrawal or can this whole thing I have been experiencing be due to low iron?
PS: My previous breaks from Adderall were not efforts to quit it. I took those breaks when I didn’t need to study for school. My last experience was so bad that I think I don’t have cravings for it anymore.
|
frozen_browsing
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-08 11:49:34
|
addiction
|
I feel like the biggest encouragement would be hearing from someone who used it before and got over the mental withdrawal symptoms such as depression or anxiety completely or almost completely (bc life still has ups and downs) after some time. I have my questions at the end but before that here is my story: <es>I am 21 years old and I started taking Adderall when I was 19.<ee> <es>I took 10-15mg a day for 3 months, took a month long break, took 20-30mg a day for 3.5 months, took a 3 month long break, then took 20mg a day for a month and 30-60mg a day for 1.5 months.<ee> <es>I was also a heavy weed user for almost 1 year during this whole time.<ee> <es>Now I’m 2 months sober from both. <ee> <efs>I decided to quit it because it was making me nervous, restless and paranoid lately but I recently figured out that I was slightly iron deficient.<efe> <efs>The day before I decided to quit I took 45mg of Adderall together with 500mg of 5-htp(an OTC supplement), a cup of coffee, and 100mg EGCG (green tea extract) and I started feeling rapid heart beats, extremely nervous and zoned out as if I’m having a serotonin syndrome. <efe> <efs>From that day on I started experiencing panic attacks.<efe> <efs>A couple of weeks later my apetite decreased severely and crying spells started to happen.<efe> <efs>I started feeling extremely hopeless.<efe> <efs>My symptoms gradually decreased after starting iron supplementation as my doctor recommended but I feel depressed as well as have brain fog and I see vivid dreams frequently.<efe> I should also emphasize that I managed to sit down to study for my finals and did moderately after I started experiencing panic attacks although it was hard as hell to do while experiencing all this. <efs>However, I feel like my anxiety left its place to a depression that will never go away and sometimes the feeling of hopelessness gets so severe.<efe> <es>I didn’t have any diagnosed mental illnesses but I was a heavy coffee user before this.<ee> <rs>My first question is how severe does my usage look?<re> <rs>My second question is people who quit and had a similar dosage pattern as mine, how long did the depressive symptoms last or did it diminish to the point that you started enjoying the life again?<re> <rs>Finally, am I experiencing the symptoms of withdrawal or can this whole thing I have been experiencing be due to low iron?<re> <es>PS: My previous breaks from Adderall were not efforts to quit it.<ee> <es>I took those breaks when I didn’t need to study for school.<ee> <es>My last experience was so bad that I think I don’t have cravings for it anymore.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
elwyj9
|
What do you do when you get the cravings in the absence of NA meetings or a wide social circle to which you can reach out?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
In short, what distractions work for you?
I am on the opioids for severe chronic pain, but I started overusing about four years ago.
|
agirlhasnoname17
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-08 18:50:46
|
addiction
|
<rs>What do you do when you get the cravings in the absence of NA meetings or a wide social circle to which you can reach out?<re> <rs>In short, what distractions work for you?<re> <es>I am on the opioids for severe chronic pain, but I started overusing about four years ago.<ee>
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you were taking opioids
|
How did X make you feel?
|
taking opioids
| null | null |
title
| true
| 102
|
eiz0if
|
Trying to get the most out of a therapist
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I'm having a bunch of problems in my marriage. Most of it is due to my lack of ability to communicate with my wife. In the scope of communication, for me, is the ability to listen, comprehend, remember, and share my thoughts effectively. She has been telling me for months to go to a therapist again and I know I need to go. I'm going to find some therapists to call today but I'm not sure what I should even look for, and when I find one I don't want to get stuck talking about other stuff and forget to work on communication. Does anyone have any tips?
|
XxRandomHeroxX9
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-02 14:41:00
|
ADHD
|
<es>I'm having a bunch of problems in my marriage.<ee> <es>Most of it is due to my lack of ability to communicate with my wife.<ee> <es>In the scope of communication, for me, is the ability to listen, comprehend, remember, and share my thoughts effectively.<ee> <es>She has been telling me for months to go to a therapist again and I know I need to go.<ee> <rs>I'm going to find some therapists to call today but I'm not sure what I should even look for, and when I find one I don't want to get stuck talking about other stuff and forget to work on communication.<re> <rs>Does anyone have any tips?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eis7w7
|
Help i want to selfharm again
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I have been "clean" for about 3-4 months but everyday i want to cut myself as deep as i can but i don't want to disappoint my friends and family, please help.
|
Staef_ESK_
| 1
| 0
| 13
|
2020-01-02 02:57:14
|
selfharm
|
<es>I have been "clean" for about 3-4 months but everyday i want to cut myself as deep as i can but i don't want to disappoint my friends and family, please help.<ee>
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you want to cut yourself
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the urges to cut yourself
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to control your urge to cut deeper
| null | true
| 100
|
eibm69
|
New Years party with the family
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I normally don’t do well with family since I’m really the only one like this, and I’ve gone down a much different path than a lot of them, but today feels especially bad. Im trying to blend and talk but I keep having mini anxiety attacks and can’t really do anything.
I feel like everyone is liking at me weird and I hate it. Sorry if it doesn’t belong here, figured I’d get it out..
|
Charmansta
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-01 00:48:43
|
ADHD
|
<efs>I normally don’t do well with family since I’m really the only one like this, and I’ve gone down a much different path than a lot of them, but today feels especially bad.<efe> <es>Im trying to blend and talk but I keep having mini anxiety attacks and can’t really do anything.<ee> <efs>I feel like everyone is liking at me weird and I hate it.<efe> Sorry if it doesn’t belong here, figured I’d get it out..
| 1
| 2
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused the mini panic attacks
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having mini panic attacks
| null | true
| 120
|
eita6t
|
Appointment follow up with doctor
|
1a
|
survey
| 1
|
Hey everyone happy new year!
I have my appointment with my doctor coming up next week. I'm currently prescribed escitalopram and I've been feeling I've been having more dark thoughts lately. The other day I texted my girlfriend and told her I was thinking of getting "sick" at work and going home and locking myself in our room and drinking all night. I have had suicidal thoughts at times due to this medication. I have been on it for 3 months now. Has anyone else had this kind of feelings on this medication?
|
AJJ619
| 1
| 0
| 8
|
2020-01-02 04:28:10
|
Anxiety
|
Hey everyone happy new year! <es>I have my appointment with my doctor coming up next week.<ee> <efs>I'm currently prescribed escitalopram and I've been feeling I've been having more dark thoughts lately.<efe> <es>The other day I texted my girlfriend and told her I was thinking of getting "sick" at work and going home and locking myself in our room and drinking all night.<ee> <efs>I have had suicidal thoughts at times due to this medication.<efe> <es>I have been on it for 3 months now.<ee> <rs>Has anyone else had this kind of feelings on this medication?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
fa7zw7
|
I've been trying so hard lately
|
0
|
rant
| 2
|
This past holiday season, I reached an all time low. I had stopped seeing my provider because her solution to my side effects or concerns of worsening depression was to increase my dose. Turns out a high dose of Zoloft just hits harder than a lower dose. I knew it was getting really bad and for a few weeks I felt like trying to find a new provider was too much effort, but when things weren't improving I started actively seeking help and trying to find as many resources as I can.
So I traveled alone to visit my family and now my husband won't let me come home to him and our ten month old son. He says his concern is my mental health and that I need help - this is very true and a valid point. I acknowledge that. We're talking it out and he wants me back there, but he really wants to make sure I take care of myself first. My problem is that since I don't live here, I can't get help here outside of going to the ER or calling a crisis line. I've begun to feel better after stopping my meds and seeing family - I've had more energy, more motivation, I'm actually socializing and doing stuff for the first time in a long time. But unless he lets me come home I can't get any additional help, and that scares me. I understand his concerns and I want to do my best to show him I'm trying, but I feel at a loss that I'm being limited like this.
But I'm proud of myself. I'm not letting things get me any more down that I already was. I actually called a crisis helpline for the first time, and it felt good. Felt really good. And I'm going to do what I can to keep getting better.
|
ElaineSpencer92
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-02-27 06:37:37
|
getting_over_it
|
<es>This past holiday season, I reached an all time low.<ee> <es>I had stopped seeing my provider because her solution to my side effects or concerns of worsening depression was to increase my dose.<ee> <efs>Turns out a high dose of Zoloft just hits harder than a lower dose.<efe> <es>I knew it was getting really bad and for a few weeks I felt like trying to find a new provider was too much effort, but when things weren't improving I started actively seeking help and trying to find as many resources as I can.<ee> <es>So I traveled alone to visit my family and now my husband won't let me come home to him and our ten month old son.<ee> <es>He says his concern is my mental health and that I need help - this is very true and a valid point.<ee> <es>I acknowledge that.<ee> <es>We're talking it out and he wants me back there, but he really wants to make sure I take care of myself first.<ee> <es>My problem is that since I don't live here, I can't get help here outside of going to the ER or calling a crisis line.<ee> <efs>I've begun to feel better after stopping my meds and seeing family - I've had more energy, more motivation, I'm actually socializing and doing stuff for the first time in a long time.<efe> <efs>But unless he lets me come home I can't get any additional help, and that scares me.<efe> <efs>I understand his concerns and I want to do my best to show him I'm trying, but I feel at a loss that I'm being limited like this. <efe> <efs>But I'm proud of myself.<efe> I'm not letting things get me any more down that I already was. <efs>I actually called a crisis helpline for the first time, and it felt good.<efs> <efs>Felt really good.<efe> And I'm going to do what I can to keep getting better.
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having trouble finding resources for your therapy
| null | true
| 220
|
ej0dya
|
Broke up with my partner a while back, she was diagnosed with BPD. I love her and didn't realise she had BPD and considering getting back together. Any tips for dating a person learning to live with BPD?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I've basically written the question above. I broke up with her because I couldn't deal with the fluctuations, inconsistencies & what felt like gaslighting. In retrospect a LOT of what was going on was undiagnosed BPD. She's in therapy now, using medication and I think getting better.
I miss and love her and I know she feels the same, but I'm hesitant to go back because I'm terrified that things will blow up again and leaving her was horrible.
There are certain things like excessive alcohol use that she doesn't think is a problem but definitely is. But she's not taking any communication about it very well. She has suggested couples counseling which could assist with that.
Anyway, any tips for dating and learning to live with it? And approaching issues?
I'm in my late 30s, she's in her early 30s.
Thank you.
|
Conatus80
| 1
| 0
| 35
|
2020-01-02 16:30:15
|
BPD
|
<es>Broke up with my partner a while back, she was diagnosed with BPD.<ee> <es>I love her and didn't realise she had BPD and considering getting back together<ee>.<rs> Any tips for dating a person learning to live with BPD?<re> I've basically written the question above. <es>I broke up with her because I couldn't deal with the fluctuations, inconsistencies & what felt like gaslighting.<ee> <es>In retrospect a LOT of what was going on was undiagnosed BPD.<ee> <es>She's in therapy now, using medication and I think getting better. <ee> <efs>I miss and love her and I know she feels the same, but I'm hesitant to go back because I'm terrified that things will blow up again and leaving her was horrible. <efe> <es>There are certain things like excessive alcohol use that she doesn't think is a problem but definitely is.<ee> <es>But she's not taking any communication about it very well.<ee> <es>She has suggested couples counseling which could assist with that. <ee> <rs>Anyway, any tips for dating and learning to live with it?<re> <rs>And approaching issues? <re> <es>I'm in my late 30s, she's in her early 30s. <ee> Thank you.
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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fivpbc
|
[Update - 1 year later] I did it. I was genuinely happy today for a full 24 hours.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2
|
Around a year ago I posted this: https://www.reddit.com/r/getting_over_it/comments/9a5pj1/i_did_it_i_was_genuinely_happy_today_for_a_full/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I've come back to say I'm still going strong. There have been minor relapses - but with each day my hope in and love for life and myself grows.
I no longer need antidepressants. I have a social and romantic life, and many relationships to maintain. Work is steady and successful. I have enjoyable hobbies and passions and dreams that I work towards. I've become physically healthier and more fit.
But life is not easier, not really. My circumstances have not changed much. Many of the relationships I maintain now were the ones that nearly killed me 4 years ago. Even as I post this, I am at risk of a severe illness.
But I'm not hopeless, or resentful, that this would happen just as I began to love life again. I am grateful to have lived - to have survived to this moment where I am proud to say I am who I am, and to have learned to love living again. I'm stronger, and livelier, and I'm the healthiest and most emotionally developed I've ever been. Those people or bad relationships can't hurt me anymore.
Many mornings and evenings I walk alone at the shoreline where I live. Back in the day I was always alone and hated it. I would say out loud, "I want to live." I used to say that to try to convince myself I believed it. But today I walk alone because my own company is what I crave the most - and I say I want to live because I truly feel it, I feel it so much I want to shout it.
I don't foresee depression coming back into my life like it did before. Anxiety about breakups, job loss, rejection, and abuse consumed me back then, but these days I seek out the difficult path - the tough outcomes. I thrive in them. But nothing is for certain, not even this recovery. And yet I'm glad. Adversity makes for the best stories, right?
Thanks all for listening. I urge you to continue to fight. Fight for yourself even if no one else will. No one fought for me - and yet here I am.
The slow walk you will take on some sunlit morning, when you realize you want to live, is one of the best moments human life has to offer us.
Perhaps I'll see you all in another year. Stay safe.
|
depression-hope
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-03-15 04:15:44
|
getting_over_it
|
Around a year ago I posted this: https://www.reddit.com/r/getting_over_it/comments/9a5pj1/i_did_it_i_was_genuinely_happy_today_for_a_full/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share I've come back to say I'm still going strong. There have been minor relapses - but with each day my hope in and love for life and myself grows. I no longer need antidepressants. I have a social and romantic life, and many relationships to maintain. Work is steady and successful. I have enjoyable hobbies and passions and dreams that I work towards. I've become physically healthier and more fit. But life is not easier, not really. My circumstances have not changed much. Many of the relationships I maintain now were the ones that nearly killed me 4 years ago. Even as I post this, I am at risk of a severe illness. But I'm not hopeless, or resentful, that this would happen just as I began to love life again. I am grateful to have lived - to have survived to this moment where I am proud to say I am who I am, and to have learned to love living again. I'm stronger, and livelier, and I'm the healthiest and most emotionally developed I've ever been. Those people or bad relationships can't hurt me anymore. Many mornings and evenings I walk alone at the shoreline where I live. Back in the day I was always alone and hated it. I would say out loud, "I want to live." I used to say that to try to convince myself I believed it. But today I walk alone because my own company is what I crave the most - and I say I want to live because I truly feel it, I feel it so much I want to shout it. I don't foresee depression coming back into my life like it did before. Anxiety about breakups, job loss, rejection, and abuse consumed me back then, but these days I seek out the difficult path - the tough outcomes. I thrive in them. But nothing is for certain, not even this recovery. And yet I'm glad. Adversity makes for the best stories, right? Thanks all for listening. I urge you to continue to fight. Fight for yourself even if no one else will. No one fought for me - and yet here I am. The slow walk you will take on some sunlit morning, when you realize you want to live, is one of the best moments human life has to offer us. Perhaps I'll see you all in another year. Stay safe.
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| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
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eibbse
|
Need advice on how I can help my wife.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Hello my son is almost one years old. My wife is a stay at home mom. Before she was pregnant she stayed at home as well and had free time to do whatever she wanted (art, YouTube, makeup). She has always struggled with social/generalized anxiety but was pretty good at self medicating and once a stressful situation was over with she would be good for a while. While she was pregnant her anxiety was actually really good and even months after giving birth it was good. Recently in the last 4-6 months(6-8months after giving birth) she has slowly gotten worse. She is sad all the time, anxious, has panic attacks, etc. She is very self aware of her feelings and actions. Her family has a history of mental health issues. She has expressed that she does not want to see a therapist because she knows what she has and doesn’t want to be medicated for it. A couple weeks ago I came home from work because she called me having a panic attack and said “I’m not good enough for our son, I can’t do anything right “ or something along those lines. She has told me things I can do to help and I’ve tried to the best of my ability and yet she still says I’m not helping. She just said today that “ I don’t know how bad it is”. I said tell me and she said “I’m sad everyday and frustrated and I’m the worst thing for our son”. I told her that I don’t know how to help her and she said she doesn’t know how to help herself. I know she would never hurt her self or our son so I’m not worried about that I just want advice on what I can do or some insight into what/how she is feeling and why. Our sons birth was not easy. Born by c-section after 3 days of inducing and he spent a week in the NICU and my wife was in the hospital for a week too for high blood pressure( due to anxiety which hospitals don’t understand).
TLDR: Wife possibly has postpardom anxiety and/or depression. Doesn’t want clinical help and I don’t know what to do despite trying to do what she has asked.
|
wolksvagon
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-01 00:25:54
|
Anxiety
|
<es>Hello my son is almost one years old.<ee> <es>My wife is a stay at home mom.<ee> <es>Before she was pregnant she stayed at home as well and had free time to do whatever she wanted (art, YouTube, makeup).<ee> <es>She has always struggled with social/generalized anxiety but was pretty good at self medicating and once a stressful situation was over with she would be good for a while.<ee> <es>While she was pregnant her anxiety was actually really good and even months after giving birth it was good.<ee> <es>Recently in the last 4-6 months(6-8months after giving birth) she has slowly gotten worse.<ee> <es>She is sad all the time, anxious, has panic attacks, etc.<ee> <es>She is very self aware of her feelings and actions.<ee> <es>Her family has a history of mental health issues.<ee> <es>She has expressed that she does not want to see a therapist because she knows what she has and doesn’t want to be medicated for it.<ee> <es>A couple weeks ago I came home from work because she called me having a panic attack and said “I’m not good enough for our son, I can’t do anything right “ or something along those lines.<ee> <es>She has told me things I can do to help and I’ve tried to the best of my ability and yet she still says I’m not helping.<ee> <es>She just said today that “ I don’t know how bad it is”. I said tell me and she said “I’m sad everyday and frustrated and I’m the worst thing for our son”.<ee> <es>I told her that I don’t know how to help her and she said she doesn’t know how to help herself.<ee> <rs>I know she would never hurt her self or our son so I’m not worried about that I just want advice on what I can do or some insight into what/how she is feeling and why.<re> <es>Our sons birth was not easy.<ee> <es>Born by c-section after 3 days of inducing and he spent a week in the NICU and my wife was in the hospital for a week too for high blood pressure( due to anxiety which hospitals don’t understand). <ee> TLDR: <rs>Wife possibly has postpardom anxiety and/or depression.<ee> <es>Doesn’t want clinical help and I don’t know what to do despite trying to do what she has asked.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your wife's panic attacks
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
ekxx8m
|
Colleagues embarrassed me in front of all my colleagues and users today :/
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
So I stuck up for this girl and risked my own job to help her against a bullying manager and yet she turned on me today and effectively tried bullying me. So in front of the whole room along with her friend tried making me feel so small, why are you not getting the user a chair? Even though there was a chair about a meter away, then said things like I bet you wont even open the door for her when she leaves and why didnt you fix the issue even though originally this was HER user before xmas which she didnt fix so I stepped in and tried helping cos I am a nice person.
This caused me to blush a little which then they picked up and started shouting HAHAHA "jack" (changed name) why are you going red, omg look at him go red which of course made me go bright red and I felt really hot, started sweating in front of all the users, it was so embarrassing and I can't stop thinking about it.
My mental health is not great as it is, suffer with really bad anxiety and dont need this added stress on top. Its really not nice.
|
sm243
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-06 18:19:34
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>So I stuck up for this girl and risked my own job to help her against a bullying manager and yet she turned on me today and effectively tried bullying me.<ee> <es>So in front of the whole room along with her friend tried making me feel so small, why are you not getting the user a chair?<ee> <es>Even though there was a chair about a meter away, then said things like I bet you wont even open the door for her when she leaves and why didnt you fix the issue even though originally this was HER user before xmas which she didnt fix so I stepped in and tried helping cos I am a nice person. <ee> <efs>This caused me to blush a little which then they picked up and started shouting HAHAHA "jack" (changed name) why are you going red, omg look at him go red which of course made me go bright red and I felt really hot, started sweating in front of all the users, it was so embarrassing and I can't stop thinking about it.<efe> <es>My mental health is not great as it is, suffer with really bad anxiety and dont need this added stress on top.<ee> Its really not nice.
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel embarassed by the incident
| null | true
| 220
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elrj0p
|
My 7 year journey of becoming a school shooter to a successful, multinational awards winning student. I learned how to control my anger.
|
1b
|
chitchat
| 3
|
I am 18 male and I can control my anger much better than most people, but it wasn't like this always. From birth I was really prone to violence, I would crash my toys, hit my sister (I am ashamed about this and haven't hit a woman since I am 10 years old), punch the closest wall etc. In school, people would make me angry on purpose just for fun and they would beat me, the problem was I just could hit any living being, I just couldn't. How ever this changed when I was in 5th grade. My parents got a divorce, which is more effecting for me cause family was the most important thing for me. My anger got really bad, I lost it more often. Then I had a traumatic event happened to me. I can't give details but it destroyed whole physiology of my family. After the event I didn't have an issue with hitting humans. I started just beating them, didn't show any type of mercy, if you got me angry, I would say really crucial things to you and you would lose it, you would hit me and I would have the chance to say it was self defense. But what I did in a fight wasn't self defense, it was straight up beating the hell out of another kid. None of the teachers could stop me, I was weirdly too strong, 5-6 teacher had to pull/push me to make me stop and I was just a 5th grader. We think it's thanks to my genes and adrenaline (all of my family is absurdly strong and resistfull then what they seem to be). I was also started to seeing a psychiatrist. then I went to a village from the big city, I kept fighting, Just beat the hell out of them. when I came back I started seeing a new one, Mrs.D (or just D) we will call her. She realized I had the worst ADHD, she was in her first year. 7th grade I was in the big city again, and I was in a really bad school. I just kept fighting and Mrs.D kept me healing. at first I was getting in 4-5 fights in a day. then it dropped to 3-4 then 2-3 and one day, a dude accidently hit me, this would trigger me normally and a fight would ensue. but no, I didnt even get angry. I told him it was okay. of course fights kept going but one in 1-2 days. then it dropped to a fight per week.
in 8th grade, I was sitting with my gf in a empty class. dudes started fucking with us, we started arguing and one of them head butted me. I just threw 3 punches and grapped the dude by his throat and lifted him in the air. get him on a wall. turned my back. and just blocked the punchs of his friends. dude was hitting really rapidly to behind my head but I didn't care. teachers pulled us apart. it was my first half succes cause I just didn't beat the hell out of the dude. this time it was really just self defense. then in my course (it is to support school, it was the exam year, it was a whole different foundation. it required money.) a troubled asshole who was fucking with me grabbed my thorat. I didn't do anything, just grabbed his arm and applied force to specific point under his wrist to block him from choking me. teacher pulled us apart. it was my first real succes. then I just lost my temper to one prick, didn't do much but all of the teachers in course had to grab all of my four limbs and lift me in the air, and pull them away from each other to contain me. then never I lost my temper. I was seeing Mrs.D every week and she said I was having a serious progress.
Then in my school, there was this bully, we will call him E. He hit me in the first week, grabbed and pushed me from my throat and I managed to tell the teachers and don't beat him. We had several other bullies fucking with me but I didn't let them make me lost my temper, sometimes I got mad and hit a wall here and there but never hit a dude. E lasted for 2 years until everyone had enough of him and he got kicked out from school. in eleventh grade. I was really sick, all of my back and shoulder muscles was badly injured. (one of them got damaged permanently). people understand it never bothered me to let me heal. I went to assistant principal and asked for him some tape to fix my headphone cable. music was only thing keeping me under control at that time. he said he didn't had, and one of the girls in there said I could find it in the next room. I told her something along the lines (it is one word in my language and more mean) its not your business, another dude misunderstood it like I said to him, we were good friends. He grabbed my neck with his left hand, I just went under it (dodged it), I moved to middle of the office, he grabbed my neck with his right hand, I just hit the elbow to drop his arm and repeatedly told him to get calm so we could talk it out. he tried to push me, I just separated his arms, the most important thing in here is, when I took down his arms, he didn't had a guard. his whole body was open to hits (especially his liver) and I didn't hit, when I deflected his push to sides, his whole body (especially his diaphragm) was open to hits, and I didn't hit. he again grabbed my neck with his right hand I just used my strength to keep me standing. He was 3-4x bigger than me and was a body builder. but he was soo slow. I could hit him a few times before he could even swing his arm. teachers pulled us apart. mrs.D told me this was what she was working on for years. she told me we finally made it, she told me it would be really okay for me to fight in that situation. but I chose to talk. I made 3-4 failed attempts to talk him but, in my last attempt, he understood me, I apologized, he apologized and we are friends again. if I had chosen to beat him, we wouldn't be friends. this year E came back to school. I told assistant he would threaten me by beating me up in the first week. He did, I told the teacher. He came in, said why you report me, I yelled at him if I didn't I would beat the shit out of him. He stopped bullying and we are kinda friends now.
I went to becoming a school shooter to a successful, projects and awards winning student. thanks for reading. everyone can make it. just give yourself time.
|
pansem
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-08 11:30:02
|
Anger
|
I am 18 male and I can control my anger much better than most people, but it wasn't like this always. From birth I was really prone to violence, I would crash my toys, hit my sister (I am ashamed about this and haven't hit a woman since I am 10 years old), punch the closest wall etc. In school, people would make me angry on purpose just for fun and they would beat me, the problem was I just could hit any living being, I just couldn't. How ever this changed when I was in 5th grade. My parents got a divorce, which is more effecting for me cause family was the most important thing for me. My anger got really bad, I lost it more often. Then I had a traumatic event happened to me. I can't give details but it destroyed whole physiology of my family. After the event I didn't have an issue with hitting humans. I started just beating them, didn't show any type of mercy, if you got me angry, I would say really crucial things to you and you would lose it, you would hit me and I would have the chance to say it was self defense. But what I did in a fight wasn't self defense, it was straight up beating the hell out of another kid. None of the teachers could stop me, I was weirdly too strong, 5-6 teacher had to pull/push me to make me stop and I was just a 5th grader. We think it's thanks to my genes and adrenaline (all of my family is absurdly strong and resistfull then what they seem to be). I was also started to seeing a psychiatrist. then I went to a village from the big city, I kept fighting, Just beat the hell out of them. when I came back I started seeing a new one, Mrs.D (or just D) we will call her. She realized I had the worst ADHD, she was in her first year. 7th grade I was in the big city again, and I was in a really bad school. I just kept fighting and Mrs.D kept me healing. at first I was getting in 4-5 fights in a day. then it dropped to 3-4 then 2-3 and one day, a dude accidently hit me, this would trigger me normally and a fight would ensue. but no, I didnt even get angry. I told him it was okay. of course fights kept going but one in 1-2 days. then it dropped to a fight per week. in 8th grade, I was sitting with my gf in a empty class. dudes started fucking with us, we started arguing and one of them head butted me. I just threw 3 punches and grapped the dude by his throat and lifted him in the air. get him on a wall. turned my back. and just blocked the punchs of his friends. dude was hitting really rapidly to behind my head but I didn't care. teachers pulled us apart. it was my first half succes cause I just didn't beat the hell out of the dude. this time it was really just self defense. then in my course (it is to support school, it was the exam year, it was a whole different foundation. it required money.) a troubled asshole who was fucking with me grabbed my thorat. I didn't do anything, just grabbed his arm and applied force to specific point under his wrist to block him from choking me. teacher pulled us apart. it was my first real succes. then I just lost my temper to one prick, didn't do much but all of the teachers in course had to grab all of my four limbs and lift me in the air, and pull them away from each other to contain me. then never I lost my temper. I was seeing Mrs.D every week and she said I was having a serious progress. Then in my school, there was this bully, we will call him E. He hit me in the first week, grabbed and pushed me from my throat and I managed to tell the teachers and don't beat him. We had several other bullies fucking with me but I didn't let them make me lost my temper, sometimes I got mad and hit a wall here and there but never hit a dude. E lasted for 2 years until everyone had enough of him and he got kicked out from school. in eleventh grade. I was really sick, all of my back and shoulder muscles was badly injured. (one of them got damaged permanently). people understand it never bothered me to let me heal. I went to assistant principal and asked for him some tape to fix my headphone cable. music was only thing keeping me under control at that time. he said he didn't had, and one of the girls in there said I could find it in the next room. I told her something along the lines (it is one word in my language and more mean) its not your business, another dude misunderstood it like I said to him, we were good friends. He grabbed my neck with his left hand, I just went under it (dodged it), I moved to middle of the office, he grabbed my neck with his right hand, I just hit the elbow to drop his arm and repeatedly told him to get calm so we could talk it out. he tried to push me, I just separated his arms, the most important thing in here is, when I took down his arms, he didn't had a guard. his whole body was open to hits (especially his liver) and I didn't hit, when I deflected his push to sides, his whole body (especially his diaphragm) was open to hits, and I didn't hit. he again grabbed my neck with his right hand I just used my strength to keep me standing. He was 3-4x bigger than me and was a body builder. but he was soo slow. I could hit him a few times before he could even swing his arm. teachers pulled us apart. mrs.D told me this was what she was working on for years. she told me we finally made it, she told me it would be really okay for me to fight in that situation. but I chose to talk. I made 3-4 failed attempts to talk him but, in my last attempt, he understood me, I apologized, he apologized and we are friends again. if I had chosen to beat him, we wouldn't be friends. this year E came back to school. I told assistant he would threaten me by beating me up in the first week. He did, I told the teacher. He came in, said why you report me, I yelled at him if I didn't I would beat the shit out of him. He stopped bullying and we are kinda friends now. I went to becoming a school shooter to a successful, projects and awards winning student. thanks for reading. everyone can make it. just give yourself time.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
ek97of
|
Will I ever overcome my anxiety?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hi. I don't know how reddit works, I'm new to this.....I fear that I won't ever overcome my anxiety, it keeps me up at night that it would be difficult for me to find a job or ask for help because I think and I think and I can't stop thinking, and I fear that I will forever have this feeling and I imagine how it would it be like if I just went for it and not be afraid to say what I want to say and do what I want to do, but it is so hard to do so and I don't know how to explain......
|
alexiasandoval
| 3
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-05 06:18:07
|
socialanxiety
|
Hi. I don't know how reddit works, <es>I'm new to this.....I fear that I won't ever overcome my anxiety,<ee> <efs>it keeps me up at night that it would be difficult for me to find a job or ask for help because I think and I think and I can't stop thinking,<efe> <es>and I fear that I will forever have this feeling and I imagine how it would it be like if I just went for it and not be afraid to say what I want to say and do what I want to do,<ee> but it is so hard to do so and I don't know how to explain......
| 1
| 1
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what makes you anxious
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how anxiety keeps you awake at night
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you can't find job due to anxiety
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ese45x
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Why worry? Free PDF Self Help Book by George Lincoln Walton | SharingeBook - Download Free PDF Books Legally
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0
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chitchat
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webdeveloper5050
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2020-01-22 16:10:14
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selfhelp
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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et20yu
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Finding the Root
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1a
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survey
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Hey everyone, first time poster after lurking for a bit. I’ve dealt with extreme anger issues my whole life, exploding into screaming tirades and hitting things. I’ve been going to therapy and it has been helping—no outbursts for a good while—but I “feel” as if there’s something there that’s causing me to be so angry, almost like a knot in a garden hose. While speaking with a close loved one, they asked me why I’m so angry all the time and I told them I don’t know. They told me that they think I do know deep down and I think that maybe true. I’m trying to figure it out with my therapist and while I think I may have an idea, I’m curious to see how all of you figured it out.
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TheRealBendejo
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| 6
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2020-01-24 00:07:13
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Anger
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Hey everyone, first time poster after lurking for a bit. <es>I’ve dealt with extreme anger issues my whole life, exploding into screaming tirades and hitting things.<ee> <efs>I’ve been going to therapy and it has been helping—no outbursts for a good while—but I “feel” as if there’s something there that’s causing me to be so angry, almost like a knot in a garden hose.<efe> <es>While speaking with a close loved one, they asked me why I’m so angry all the time and I told them I don’t know.<ee> <es>They told me that they think I do know deep down and I think that maybe true.<ee> <rs>I’m trying to figure it out with my therapist and while I think I may have an idea, I’m curious to see how all of you figured it out.<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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the cause of your anger
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ekrlvv
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How much paranoia is too much?
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1a
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help-seeking
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I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I figure if anything hopefully you guys can point me to the right place. Sorry for it being pretty long.
So basically I’ve been dealing with some pretty intense paranoia for the vast majority of my life. It was definitely at its worst when I was in highschool and it’s gotten better in the 5ish years since I graduated but sometimes I have pretty intense episodes, at least relative to how I am usually. I’m not generally distrustful of people and my gf sometimes tells me i’m too trusting, and a bit too naive sometimes. Not in a bad way, just a “I’ll stand there and talk to some guy with a clipboard talk about charity or a fundraiser for longer than I probably should” way. Generally I don’t dislike people and I’m definitely not afraid of strangers.
But sometimes that just flips and i feel like the entire world is out to get me and the people i love, and that anyone can be a rival in my goals, or worse, a possible assailant waiting for the moment to strike. I would describe the way I feel as similar to how people who play the lottery feel, but inverse. Like I know something so horrible is unlikely to happen, but something inside me says “It could happen to someone, why not you”.
For example, i’ll often have what I would almost describe as episodes where I can’t help but imagine terrible scenarios in which someone breaks into my home, murders my family, and attempt to murder me. Following an episode like this I spend the 12-24 hours on total edge, not sleeping, and for the next couple of days i’ll have trouble sleeping because of these thoughts. Sometimes they can be even worse and more graphic, and while I wont describe them to you, they can cause me to spiral into depressive and paranoid states where I feel the need to stay awake and alert at all times, while also feeling the need break away from all my family and friends to spare them, or perhaps myself, of what I feel is an inevitability.
In hindsight and in moments like this I always realize that in these moments my thoughts and fears are totally ridiculous and outlandish, and i have enough self control to not act on my paranoia except for occasionally checking the locks, moving something in front of my bedroom door to block it from opening, or on some very rare occasions setting up some “home alone”-esque alarm system so i’ll know if somebody where to attempt to open my door.
I guess i’m just worried that this is beyond the point of a normal quirk, and is getting into the territory that is possibly dangerous. While I have had a history of self harm, I haven’t done so in over 8 years and haven’t had a desire to, and aside from causing about 1-2 sleepless nights a month and feeding into my depression/anxiety, it doesn’t affect my daily life too much.
Just as a note, unfortunately due to issues with both transportation, work/school, and my insurance (I live in the states) currently therapy is not an option on the table.
Any advice, insight, or anything you could give would greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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TheNatanist
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2020-01-06 09:07:58
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mentalillness
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I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I figure if anything hopefully you guys can point me to the right place. Sorry for it being pretty long. <es>So basically I’ve been dealing with some pretty intense paranoia for the vast majority of my life.<ee> <es>It was definitely at its worst when I was in highschool and it’s gotten better in the 5ish years since I graduated but sometimes I have pretty intense episodes, at least relative to how I am usually.<ee> <es>I’m not generally distrustful of people and my gf sometimes tells me i’m too trusting, and a bit too naive sometimes.<ee> Not in a bad way, just a “I’ll stand there and talk to some guy with a clipboard talk about charity or a fundraiser for longer than I probably should” way. Generally I don’t dislike people and I’m definitely not afraid of strangers. <efs>But sometimes that just flips and i feel like the entire world is out to get me and the people i love, and that anyone can be a rival in my goals, or worse, a possible assailant waiting for the moment to strike.<efe> <efs>I would describe the way I feel as similar to how people who play the lottery feel, but inverse.<efe> <efs>Like I know something so horrible is unlikely to happen, but something inside me says “It could happen to someone, why not you”. <efe> For example, i’ll often have what I would almost describe as episodes where I can’t help but imagine terrible scenarios in which someone breaks into my home, murders my family, and attempt to murder me. <es>Following an episode like this I spend the 12-24 hours on total edge, not sleeping, and for the next couple of days i’ll have trouble sleeping because of these thoughts.<ee> <es>Sometimes they can be even worse and more graphic, and while I wont describe them to you, they can cause me to spiral into depressive and paranoid states where I feel the need to stay awake and alert at all times, while also feeling the need break away from all my family and friends to spare them, or perhaps myself, of what I feel is an inevitability.<ee> In hindsight and in moments like this I always realize that in these moments my thoughts and fears are totally ridiculous and outlandish, and i have enough self control to not act on my paranoia except for occasionally checking the locks, moving something in front of my bedroom door to block it from opening, or on some very rare occasions setting up some “home alone”-esque alarm system so i’ll know if somebody where to attempt to open my door. <efs>I guess i’m just worried that this is beyond the point of a normal quirk, and is getting into the territory that is possibly dangerous.<efe> <es>While I have had a history of self harm, I haven’t done so in over 8 years and haven’t had a desire to, and aside from causing about 1-2 sleepless nights a month and feeding into my depression/anxiety, it doesn’t affect my daily life too much.<ee> Just as a note, unfortunately due to issues with both transportation, work/school, and my insurance (I live in the states) currently therapy is not an option on the table. <rs>Any advice, insight, or anything you could give would greatly appreciated.<re> Thanks in advance.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you overcome the paranoia
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ei8tsg
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Streaks make me anxious - are there any apps that hide or at least don’t emphasize them?
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1a
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survey
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I’m the kind of perfectionist whose life is a mess in no small part because if something can’t be done perfectly, it’s a struggle to do it at all.
I’ve tried a few apps to try to organize my life, and I think the streaks being so prominent turns me off them. Watching a streak go from 100 or even 7 to zero is so depressing for me. And even getting a big streak makes me anxious that I’ll lose it - it overshadows whatever sense of accomplishment I get. It feels like I’m not allowed to make mistakes.
Inevitably I do break a streak, and usually the disappointment and anxiety (it will be 40 days before you have this streak again - THEN you can make progress) turn me off the app.
I’d like an app that tracks progress differently- maybe a % compliance rate or something. At the very least, not having the longest and current streaks on the main page might help.
Am I alone in this? If not, has anyone found a habit building system (pref an app) that works for them?
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captainblue
| 1
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| 6
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2019-12-31 21:05:09
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ADHD
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<es>I’m the kind of perfectionist whose life is a mess in no small part because if something can’t be done perfectly, it’s a struggle to do it at all. <ee> <es>I’ve tried a few apps to try to organize my life, and I think the streaks being so prominent turns me off them.<ee> <efs>Watching a streak go from 100 or even 7 to zero is so depressing for me.<efe> <efs>And even getting a big streak makes me anxious that I’ll lose it - it overshadows whatever sense of accomplishment I get.<efe> <efs>It feels like I’m not allowed to make mistakes. <efe> <efs>Inevitably I do break a streak, and usually the disappointment and anxiety (it will be 40 days before you have this streak again - THEN you can make progress) turn me off the app. <efe> <rs>I’d like an app that tracks progress differently- maybe a % compliance rate or something.<re> <rs>At the very least, not having the longest and current streaks on the main page might help. <re> <rs>Am I alone in this?<re> <rs>If not, has anyone found a habit building system (pref an app) that works for them?<re>
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emksda
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How can I help my dad?
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1b
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help-seeking
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My dad hasn't been to work in over a year initially because of a knee surgery. He's been playing the system ever since and has been drinking every single day and has gained probably over 100 pounds. He doesn't leave the house ever. He literally uses the self starter thing on his truck and let's it run in the driveway for 15 minutes every few days just so it stays working. I have tried to subtly bring things up to him but he gets so mad and tells me I'm unbelievable and that I'm so disrespectful and it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. He also had my brother on 3 of his credit cards and my brother just checked his credit report and saw the balances and all three are maxed out with a total balance of $40,000. And that's only three he probably has more lmao. What the fuck do you do in this situation. He's unreachable
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caspasee
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| 4
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2020-01-10 02:59:47
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addiction
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<es>My dad hasn't been to work in over a year initially because of a knee surgery.<ee> <es>He's been playing the system ever since and has been drinking every single day and has gained probably over 100 pounds.<ee> <es>He doesn't leave the house ever.<ee> <es>He literally uses the self starter thing on his truck and let's it run in the driveway for 15 minutes every few days just so it stays working.<ee> <efs>I have tried to subtly bring things up to him but he gets so mad and tells me I'm unbelievable and that I'm so disrespectful and it breaks my heart.<efe> I don't know what to do. <es>He also had my brother on 3 of his credit cards and my brother just checked his credit report and saw the balances and all three are maxed out with a total balance of $40,000.<ee> And that's only three he probably has more lmao. What the fuck do you do in this situation. He's unreachable
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel about your dad's condition
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What do you need help with now that X?
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your dad is drinking excessively
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| 210
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ej11dy
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How survive 7 days without my meds?
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0
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help-seeking
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I take Vyvanse and my doctor will be back in 7 days.
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wtfpmf
| 1
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| 4
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2020-01-02 17:18:07
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ADHD
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<rs>How survive 7 days without my meds?<re> <es>I take Vyvanse and my doctor will be back in 7 days.<ee>
| 1
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| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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| 102
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ej536l
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I hate how PTSD is changing me and I don‘t like who I’m becoming.
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1a
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survey
| 1
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I feel like every single aspect of my personality is affected by it. I have so many problems with regulating my emotions, which is affecting my personal relationships. I lost a lot of joy in things i usually loved doing. I am stressed and tired all the time and i get really snappy. I don‘t like myself like this.
I plan to start with therapy soon and i hope i can work out some of my problems there, but i can‘t help but think, that some parts of myself are never going to go back to normal.
Before all of this i had finally started liking who i was or at least who i was becoming. It feels like i‘m back to square one.
Anybody else feel like this?
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TreevengerAA
| 105
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| 91
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2020-01-02 22:01:37
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ptsd
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<es>I hate how PTSD is changing me and I don‘t like who I’m becoming.<ee> <efs>I feel like every single aspect of my personality is affected by it.<efe> <efs>I have so many problems with regulating my emotions, which is affecting my personal relationships.<efe> <efs>I lost a lot of joy in things i usually loved doing.<efe> <efs>I am stressed and tired all the time and i get really snappy.<efe> <efs>I don‘t like myself like this.<efe> <es>I plan to start with therapy soon and i hope i can work out some of my problems there, but i can‘t help but think, that some parts of myself are never going to go back to normal.<ee> <es>Before all of this i had finally started liking who i was or at least who i was becoming.<ee> <efs>It feels like i‘m back to square one. <efe> <rs>Anybody else feel like this?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help regulate your emotions
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enl5hp
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I need to vent
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1a
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rant
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I don't know why I always post stuff like this. I really do appreciate the advice, but I have trouble actually taking it so I dont know how much it helps.
I've been feeling kind of depressed/anxious/confused lately I guess. Haven't been diagnosed or anything. I guess I just worry about my social life and life in general.
For starters I think I have social anxiety. I dont like meeting new people because it usually just makes me feel bad about myself. I'm in my last year of college with only one semester left and I haven't enjoyed it much. I have very few friends, but even the ones I do have aren't very close. I like them, they're just not like my friends from high school though.
I'd say my closest friend is still my best friend from high school. A lot of my other friends from back then seem to have lost interest in hanging out, but this one friend still seems to want to. But sometimes he'll talk about his friends at school and it kind of makes me feel bad, like he's supposed to be MY friend or something. I know it's possessive and weird, but I get jealous that he probably has better friends than me now. I know sometimes you need to move on, but I feel like I'll never have another friend like him again and that's scary. I don't want to lose that friendship.
I also worry about my future. I feel like there's so much I don't know that someone my age should know or needs to know. Even things about myself and it drives me crazy. I don't even know my own sexual orientation at 21 years old, I mean what the hell is that!? I'm not even sure what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing video games, watching YouTube videos, and listening to music, but sometimes even those things don't seem very interesting.
Not to mention my future career. I mean, fucks sake I don't even know if I'm the right major and I graduate after this upcoming semester. I don't feel passionate enough about anything to really pursue it as a career. I don't want to just settle for a job I can't stand. I want to enjoy what I do, but I dont even know what I like anymore.
I guess the bottom line is that j just worry my future will be very sad and lonely. I feel like I've been slowly losing all my friends since graduating from high school and its only a matter of time before I lose the last true friend I feel like I have. I don't know where my career is headed and I dont even know how to figure it out. I'm not responsible enough for "real life". I still rely on my parents WAY too much. They practically do everything for me even help decide my class schedule and help me apply and search for jobs/internships.
Anyways sorry for the rant. I guess there are just some days where it's worse than others and today wasn't a very good day. I just needed somewhere to vent. Thanks for reading this if you did!
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notmyaccount_420
| 1
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2020-01-12 08:39:20
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getting_over_it
|
I don't know why I always post stuff like this. I really do appreciate the advice, but I have trouble actually taking it so I dont know how much it helps. <efs>I've been feeling kind of depressed/anxious/confused lately I guess.<efe> <es>Haven't been diagnosed or anything.<ee> <es>I guess I just worry about my social life and life in general. <ee> <es>For starters I think I have social anxiety.<ee> <es>I dont like meeting new people because it usually just makes me feel bad about myself.<ee> <es>I'm in my last year of college with only one semester left and I haven't enjoyed it much.<ee> <es>I have very few friends, but even the ones I do have aren't very close.<ee> <es>I like them, they're just not like my friends from high school though.<ee> <es>I'd say my closest friend is still my best friend from high school.<ee> <es>A lot of my other friends from back then seem to have lost interest in hanging out, but this one friend still seems to want to.<ee> <efs>But sometimes he'll talk about his friends at school and it kind of makes me feel bad, like he's supposed to be MY friend or something.<efe> <efs>I know it's possessive and weird, but I get jealous that he probably has better friends than me now.<efe> <efs>I know sometimes you need to move on, but I feel like I'll never have another friend like him again and that's scary.<efe> <rs>I don't want to lose that friendship.<re> <es>I also worry about my future.<ee> <efs>I feel like there's so much I don't know that someone my age should know or needs to know.<efe> <efs>Even things about myself and it drives me crazy.<efe> <es>I don't even know my own sexual orientation at 21 years old, I mean what the hell is that!?<ee> <es>I'm not even sure what I enjoy doing anymore other than playing video games, watching YouTube videos, and listening to music, but sometimes even those things don't seem very interesting. <ee> <es>Not to mention my future career.<ee> <es>I mean, fucks sake I don't even know if I'm the right major and I graduate after this upcoming semester.<ee> <efs>I don't feel passionate enough about anything to really pursue it as a career.<efe> <rs>I don't want to just settle for a job I can't stand.<re> <rs>I want to enjoy what I do, but I dont even know what I like anymore. <re> <efs>I guess the bottom line is that j just worry my future will be very sad and lonely.<efe> <efs>I feel like I've been slowly losing all my friends since graduating from high school and its only a matter of time before I lose the last true friend I feel like I have.<efe> <es>I don't know where my career is headed and I dont even know how to figure it out. <ee> <es>I'm not responsible enough for "real life".<ee> <es>I still rely on my parents WAY too much.<ee> <es>They practically do everything for me even help decide my class schedule and help me apply and search for jobs/internships.<ee> Anyways sorry for the rant. <es>I guess there are just some days where it's worse than others and today wasn't a very good day.<ee> <rs>I just needed somewhere to vent.<re> Thanks for reading this if you did!
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| 2
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you not worry about losing friends
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| 221
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eicqtw
|
How do your BPD and OCD symptoms feed into one another?
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0
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survey
| 1
|
I have been diagnosed with BPD and OCD and was wondering how the two disorders manifest together for other people with a similar diagnosis?
Also, I can’t seem to find much information on the comorbidity between BPD and OCD, so if anyone could share articles, videos, or any information that they have found it would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: I’m looking to gain insight from others about the individual manifestation of co-occurring BPD and OCD.
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Yotsume3
| 1
| 0
| 6
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2020-01-01 02:30:53
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BPD
|
<es>I have been diagnosed with BPD and OCD<ee> <rs> I was wondering how the two disorders manifest together for other people with a similar diagnosis? <re> <rs>Also, I can’t seem to find much information on the comorbidity between BPD and OCD, so if anyone could share articles, videos, or any information that they have found it would be greatly appreciated. <re> <rs>TL;DR: I’m looking to gain insight from others about the individual manifestation of co-occurring BPD and OCD.<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
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having both BPD and OCD
| null | null | null | true
| 202
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eqimmx
|
day 10 off H
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0
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chitchat
| 2
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it is possible..! I feel pretty positive about my recovery. I decided to use subs as I am a lifelong drug addict. I remember the first day I smoked weed from then on it was every single day and 16-20 every single weekend id try different drugs. so being clean is really far from my normal. Then of course, a straight 10 years oxy to heroin habit from 22-31ish.
So I decided to use subs. I am on 4mg a day. with the plan to taper off subs as fast as I can comfortably do it. As long as it isnt that extreme cold turkey dopesickness it is a large difference in my ability to fight through.
I know people look at subs as still being on opi's. but as long as it works as a transition tool and ones not on it forever it is a pretty amazing thing. I still am just so not used to not having to go pickup every single day. I'd say thats the hardest transition. Obviously combined with re-learning how to work through triggers and cravings. I go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor yet but will find one soon. Wanted to post so if any others are just tired sick of the constant up/downs of heroin, basically u almost never have peace. That switching to suboxone took about a week for me. Its such a difference! And last time i got on subs I felt so good about it and picking up 1 time turned into a year long run of never being out. So it shows the truth in picking up just once is never just once. last year I was on subs and decided Id just pickup 1 last time, use for a week, then go back to subs. Well Finally, after a year, I am back on subs with the intention to get off subs by Feb/April. So thank you to everyone here, all of your messages and posts, without this community I don't think it would have been possible. I need to do this before I join so many that were my friends that are now dead. The sooner I realize this is a nonstop trainride straight to jail or the graveyard, it makes it much easier to accept. BC fuck detoxing in jail CT. I 100% know if I kept using that would end up being my story. Thanks and much love for this saturday and especially all of u.
|
smilesreallyalot
| 1
| 0
| 13
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2020-01-18 16:42:16
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OpiatesRecovery
|
it is possible..! I feel pretty positive about my recovery. I decided to use subs as I am a lifelong drug addict. I remember the first day I smoked weed from then on it was every single day and 16-20 every single weekend id try different drugs. so being clean is really far from my normal. Then of course, a straight 10 years oxy to heroin habit from 22-31ish. So I decided to use subs. I am on 4mg a day. with the plan to taper off subs as fast as I can comfortably do it. As long as it isnt that extreme cold turkey dopesickness it is a large difference in my ability to fight through. I know people look at subs as still being on opi's. but as long as it works as a transition tool and ones not on it forever it is a pretty amazing thing. I still am just so not used to not having to go pickup every single day. I'd say thats the hardest transition. Obviously combined with re-learning how to work through triggers and cravings. I go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor yet but will find one soon. Wanted to post so if any others are just tired sick of the constant up/downs of heroin, basically u almost never have peace. That switching to suboxone took about a week for me. Its such a difference! And last time i got on subs I felt so good about it and picking up 1 time turned into a year long run of never being out. So it shows the truth in picking up just once is never just once. last year I was on subs and decided Id just pickup 1 last time, use for a week, then go back to subs. Well Finally, after a year, I am back on subs with the intention to get off subs by Feb/April. So thank you to everyone here, all of your messages and posts, without this community I don't think it would have been possible. I need to do this before I join so many that were my friends that are now dead. The sooner I realize this is a nonstop trainride straight to jail or the graveyard, it makes it much easier to accept. BC fuck detoxing in jail CT. I 100% know if I kept using that would end up being my story. Thanks and much love for this saturday and especially all of u.
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| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
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es7egj
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Got all the answers, not this time
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1b
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help-seeking
| 2
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When I was 18, I was raped by a stranger at a party. It wrecked my life. My PTSD manifested in numerous ways, from the mundane to the extreme.
This isn’t why I write today. My best friend, who was a safe haven for me as I healed, raped me years into our friendship and on/off sexual relationship. I never call it rape in my mind. I always call it non consensual sex, or some other avoidant way. I was mostly hurt because he watched me slowly recover from the violence I had endured previously.
We talked, he was remorseful. Years later, and he’s still one of my best friends. We still have sex when we are around each other ...
But when I’m quiet, I feel shame. I feel ashamed I forgave him. I feel shame that I’m still his friend. I feel ashamed that I keep this secret to myself. I love my friend so much, but I don’t know what to do about this truth. This dark aspect of our story. There’s so much beauty, but this thorn remains. Anyone have answers for a healer that always has the answer?
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luna_apollonia
| 1
| 0
| 0
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2020-01-22 05:22:19
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rapecounseling
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<es>When I was 18, I was raped by a stranger at a party.<ee> <efs>It wrecked my life.<efe> <efs>My PTSD manifested in numerous ways, from the mundane to the extreme. <efe> This isn’t why I write today. <es>My best friend, who was a safe haven for me as I healed, raped me years into our friendship and on/off sexual relationship.<ee> <es>I never call it rape in my mind.<ee> <es>I always call it non consensual sex, or some other avoidant way.<ee> <efs>I was mostly hurt because he watched me slowly recover from the violence I had endured previously. <efe> <es>We talked, he was remorseful.<ee> <es>Years later, and he’s still one of my best friends.<ee> <es>We still have sex when we are around each other ...<ee> <efs>But when I’m quiet, I feel shame.<efe> <efs>I feel ashamed I forgave him.<efe> <efs>I feel shame that I’m still his friend.<efe> <efs>I feel ashamed that I keep this secret to myself.<efe> <es>I love my friend so much, but I don’t know what to do about this truth.<ee> This dark aspect of our story. <es>There’s so much beauty, but this thorn remains.<ee> <rs>Anyone have answers for a healer that always has the answer?<re>
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| 1
| null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what will help you heal from your friend's abuse
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ei7gcb
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When your 2019 was horrible and you say 2020's gonna be better
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0
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rant
| 1
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but then realize that the world isn't going to magically become nicer to you because it's the new year and that you still have no control over the external conditions that make your life miserable
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MRantiswag
| 1
| 0
| 3
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2019-12-31 19:20:18
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depression
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<efs>but then realize that the world isn't going to magically become nicer to you because it's the new year and that you still have no control over the external conditions that make your life miserable<efe>
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| 1
| 0
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What made you feel X ?
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that the year was bad
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel about your life
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What can help you overcome X ?
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the miseries you faced
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| 10
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ela8p6
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im so sad
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1
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i cant stop crying why cant anyone help me??????
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InfamousCauliflower4
| 1
| 0
| 3
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2020-01-07 11:15:57
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sad
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<efs>im so sad<efs> <efs>i cant stop crying why cant anyone help me??????<efe>
| 0
| 2
| 0
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What made you feel X ?
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so sad
| null | null |
What can help you overcome X ?
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the feeling of sadness
| null | true
| 20
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em39mk
|
4 weeks
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0
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chitchat
| 1
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Today is my 28th day sober, just wanted to say somewhere how grateful I am that this beautiful fellowship exists. This program is a beacon of hope. I am sick, and I have a long way to go, but this program gives me hope that my life can be a beautiful thing.
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Domeo81
| 1
| 0
| 12
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2020-01-09 02:36:48
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alcoholicsanonymous
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Today is my 28th day sober, just wanted to say somewhere how grateful I am that this beautiful fellowship exists. This program is a beacon of hope. I am sick, and I have a long way to go, but this program gives me hope that my life can be a beautiful thing.
| 0
| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
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f6sxxw
|
Someone to talk to
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0
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chitchat
| 1
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Anyone feel like chatting for a bit ? Preferably female but dosent really matter ...
I feel so alone right now. 😞
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My_account99
| 1
| 0
| 4
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2020-02-20 13:18:07
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domesticviolence
|
<rs>Anyone feel like chatting for a bit ?<re> <rs>Preferably female but dosent really matter ... <re> <efs>I feel so alone right now. <efe>😞
| 0
| 1
| 2
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What made you feel X ?
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alone
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you are feeling
| null | null | null | true
| 12
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eirsl0
|
Possible trigger: is this a case of sexual abuse?
|
1b
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help-seeking
| 2
|
Just have a quick question. Wasn't sure which subreddit to post this, so I just went with this since my friend is claiming complex PTSD.
Anyway, my friend recently told me that her grandmother used to molest her when she was very young. When I dug a bit deeper, she said something about her grandmother repeatedly treating her for possible UTI's after she'd go swimming. She mentioned other behaviors her grandmother would do to her (that were admittedly creepy), *however,* I'm not entirely sure if she was really abused or not.
It seems that her grandmother was medically treating her, but she claims that the grandmother would penetrate her when applying medication. She claims that she would scream and cry and beg her not to do it. She also mentioned that the grandmother asked her to not tell her parents, which, yes, seems like an obvious tip off, but I could see why she may not want her parents to know, because it might make it appear just as the situation sounds. Although... wouldn't the parents be responsible for treating her UTI's first? I asked her if possibly her parents were aware (to feel her out to see if they gave the grandmother an OK to treat her UTI's), but she said her mother flipped out one day when she asked why her mother didn't put medicine on her like her grandmother did. It appears the mother didn't know and was quite angry, but she didn't say what the father's reaction was (it was his mom, so maybe he did give the OK and just kept the mother in the dark?).
So I suppose that's my question: am I being a shitty friend for not believing that what she went through was sexual abuse? It seemed medicinal to me, but I dare not challenge her on it, for obvious reasons. I just wanted to run it by everyone here. Therefore, what constitutes sexual abuse towards a young child? I mean, if your kid needed an enema, would that be considered abuse? No, right? So would a grandmother putting medicine on a girl's genitals for repeated UTI's be considered abuse? She said her earliest memories of this happening was around when she was 4, so maybe her memories aren't that accurate as well?
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ignoring_you
| 1
| 0
| 14
|
2020-01-02 02:22:51
|
ptsd
|
Just have a quick question. <es>Wasn't sure which subreddit to post this, so I just went with this since my friend is claiming complex PTSD.<ee> <es>Anyway, my friend recently told me that her grandmother used to molest her when she was very young.<ee> <es>When I dug a bit deeper, she said something about her grandmother repeatedly treating her for possible UTI's after she'd go swimming.<ee> <es>She mentioned other behaviors her grandmother would do to her (that were admittedly creepy), *however,* I'm not entirely sure if she was really abused or not.<ee> <es>It seems that her grandmother was medically treating her, but she claims that the grandmother would penetrate her when applying medication.<ee> <es>She claims that she would scream and cry and beg her not to do it.<ee> <es>She also mentioned that the grandmother asked her to not tell her parents, which, yes, seems like an obvious tip off, but I could see why she may not want her parents to know, because it might make it appear just as the situation sounds.<ee> <es>Although... wouldn't the parents be responsible for treating her UTI's first?<ee> <es>I asked her if possibly her parents were aware (to feel her out to see if they gave the grandmother an OK to treat her UTI's), but she said her mother flipped out one day when she asked why her mother didn't put medicine on her like her grandmother did.<ee> <es>It appears the mother didn't know and was quite angry, but she didn't say what the father's reaction was (it was his mom, so maybe he did give the OK and just kept the mother in the dark?). <ee> <rs>So I suppose that's my question: am I being a shitty friend for not believing that what she went through was sexual abuse?<re> <es>It seemed medicinal to me, but I dare not challenge her on it, for obvious reasons.<ee> <rs>I just wanted to run it by everyone here.<re> <rs>Therefore, what constitutes sexual abuse towards a young child?<re> <rs>I mean, if your kid needed an enema, would that be considered abuse?<re> <rs>No, right?<re> <rs>So would a grandmother putting medicine on a girl's genitals for repeated UTI's be considered abuse?<re> <rs>She said her earliest memories of this happening was around when she was 4, so maybe her memories aren't that accurate as well?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your friend's situation
| null | null | null | true
| 202
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epki4l
|
I finally slept 6 hours
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1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I’m starting to feel better again finally, I’m still struggling with mild symptoms. I absolutely feel way better not on Suboxone. That stuff really messed with my brain, I was agitated almost all the time and bloated. I sit here and wonder why I do this crap to myself. Is AA/NA the only way to stay abstinence for long term. Anyone have long term sobriety without the 12 steps? Advice needed. Thank You.
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swar5484
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-16 15:05:44
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<efs>I’m starting to feel better again finally, I’m still struggling with mild symptoms.<efe> <es>I absolutely feel way better not on Suboxone.<ee> <efs>That stuff really messed with my brain, I was agitated almost all the time and bloated. <efe> I sit here and wonder why I do this crap to myself. <rs>Is AA/NA the only way to stay abstinence for long term.<re> <rs> Anyone have long term sobriety without the 12 steps?<re> <rs>Advice needed.<re> Thank You.
| 1
| 2
| 2
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your symptoms after stopping suboxone
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
erw6hs
|
My Partner is Struggling With My Rape. Advice?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
It’s been over a month since I was raped and I’m making progress. My therapy has been helpful. I’m sleeping and eating again. Honestly looking back on everything, I’m amazed I’m doing so well. My partner is a saint. He has supported me and been taking care of our toddler while I’ve been a shell of a human being. He has been understanding about us sleeping separately and been kind and slow and communicative during sex.
I’m bisexual, and I am a female married to a male. No that doesn’t make me straight because I settled down with someone of the opposite gender that I love with all my heart. My husband voiced last night that he was scared and having negative thoughts that I was going to struggle being married to him. Because I am scared of men. Because I instantly wake up as soon as he enters the room. Because I have involuntary twitches as a result of my anxiety and I twitch a lot with him. He mentioned that I would be more comfortable with a female partner. He’s never felt insecure about my sexuality because like I choose him out of all them men I have dated, I also chose him out of all the women I dated. He never felt like he was going to lose me one day because of his genitalia.
I reassured him that I love HIM and that I am working as hard as I can to be able to sleep in bed with him again and I don’t want anyone else. I just want him. I don’t need a female partner to feel safe otherwise I wouldn’t beg him to be at home with me or feel afraid when he is gone. I love my husband with all of my being and I hate that he feels responsible for my pain and fear.
I feel so much pain for the pain I caused him. His partner was raped and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He must feel powerless and like a failure. My rapist told him that he was at fault for leaving me at that party, he said “this is partly your fault because you let her get drunk and left her there.” Which if I see that fucker in public, the first throat punch is for verbally attacking my husband. Stupid prick.
How do I help him? How can I make him feel better?
|
deeplynugget
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-21 15:33:05
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>It’s been over a month since I was raped and I’m making progress.<ee> <es>My therapy has been helpful.<ee> I’m sleeping and eating again. Honestly looking back on everything, I’m amazed I’m doing so well. <es>My partner is a saint.<ee> <es>He has supported me and been taking care of our toddler while I’ve been a shell of a human being.<ee> <es>He has been understanding about us sleeping separately and been kind and slow and communicative during sex. <ee> <es>I’m bisexual, and I am a female married to a male.<ee> No that doesn’t make me straight because I settled down with someone of the opposite gender that I love with all my heart. <es>My husband voiced last night that he was scared and having negative thoughts that I was going to struggle being married to him.<ee> <es>Because I am scared of men.<ee> <es>Because I instantly wake up as soon as he enters the room.<ee> <es>Because I have involuntary twitches as a result of my anxiety and I twitch a lot with him.<ee> <es>He mentioned that I would be more comfortable with a female partner.<ee> <es>He’s never felt insecure about my sexuality because like I choose him out of all them men I have dated, I also chose him out of all the women I dated.<ee> <es>He never felt like he was going to lose me one day because of his genitalia. <ee> <es>I reassured him that I love HIM and that I am working as hard as I can to be able to sleep in bed with him again and I don’t want anyone else.<ee> <es>I just want him.<ee> <es>I don’t need a female partner to feel safe otherwise I wouldn’t beg him to be at home with me or feel afraid when he is gone.<ee> <efs>I love my husband with all of my being and I hate that he feels responsible for my pain and fear. <efe> <efs>I feel so much pain for the pain I caused him.<Efe> <es>His partner was raped and there was nothing he could do to stop it.<ee> <es>He must feel powerless and like a failure.<ee> <es>My rapist told him that he was at fault for leaving me at that party, he said “this is partly your fault because you let her get drunk and left her there.”<ee> Which if I see that fucker in public, the first throat punch is for verbally attacking my husband. Stupid prick. <rs>How do I help him?<re> <rs>How can I make him feel better?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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elbruh
|
1 Year
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0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Today is my partners 1 year sober.
I lost him on December 15th, 2019. He struggled with health complications unrelated to his alcoholism and it took his life. He was so kind and gave all of himself to everyone he loved. He fought really hard, after 15 years of struggling with his disease, and this time last year he checked himself in to rehab for the last time. He was doing great, I could not have been prouder of the man he had become. We talked about what we were going to do to celebrate today several times.
I’m going to go to dinner and catch a meeting.
Today I am 8 days sober. Thank you for letting me share.
|
frambalamm
| 1
| 0
| 8
|
2020-01-07 13:48:19
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>Today is my partners 1 year sober. <ee> <es>I lost him on December 15th, 2019.<ee> <es>He struggled with health complications unrelated to his alcoholism and it took his life.<ee> <es>He was so kind and gave all of himself to everyone he loved.<ee> <es>He fought really hard, after 15 years of struggling with his disease, and this time last year he checked himself in to rehab for the last time.<ee> <es>He was doing great, I could not have been prouder of the man he had become.<ee> <es>We talked about what we were going to do to celebrate today several times. <ee> <es>I’m going to go to dinner and catch a meeting.<ee> <es>Today I am 8 days sober.<ee> Thank you for letting me share.
| 2
| 0
| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
losing your partner
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you lost your partner due to health complications
| null | true
| 200
|
f28nuy
|
Why Domestic Abuse Towards Men is Laughed at? Double Standard?
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0
|
survey
| 1
| null |
sickraw
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-02-11 13:57:40
|
domesticviolence
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
erka5e
|
How do I move on with no memories?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Ayoo
Its my first post on here and I know this shits long, but please stick with me ;-;
Here's some not so quick background info:
- Im 18 as of now, and I've been depressed since I was 12 or 13. I feel like ive been stuck in a rut for just about my entire life, and at this point idk how to even begin coming out of it because idk what its like to live normally and happily.
- Ive always isolated myself, so I have no dependable friends atm. Up until now I've never had an issue with being alone; Im very introverted and I enjoy my alone time, but recently ive been miserable by myself. For the past 6 months I havent socially interacted with anyone, so now that I'm reaching out to people trying to build new connections, I'm falling short and not getting anywhere with it.
- I really dont have any hobbies. I work 5 days, 50 hrs a week. When im not working I'm playing videogames or watching whatever bullshit is on TV, but I dont find this pleasurable in any way, it only gives me something to do.
- When I was 16 I got a very serious concussion that left me mentally impaired for half a year (seriously). I couldnt read and I struggled to walk for months, but after half a year I regained most of my cognitive function back to the levels they were prior to the injury. I say most of my cognitive function because I did not regain my memories or the ability to form long term memories. I Still have all of my knowledge, the useless facts, etc, but I have no real memories of before I recieved my concussion, and I dont remember anything thats happened in my life up until about half a year ago.
I know about my past life, through reading about it (I have kept a dauly journal since I was 14), but I dont have any memories of my past life.
Thats the jist of all the shit that I got going on right now, so here where I need some input:
- What do I do about having no memories? This fucks me up more than anything else because I dont truly know a thing about myself, and I cant shake the feeling that I'm an imposter posing as someone else. It really gets to me. This issue also fucks with me because I feel like no one can remember who I am, even myself.
- What hobbies do you guys enjoy? What do normal people do in their free time when not with someone else?
- How do I learn to socialize and make friends starting from the ground up, with nothing?
Sorry for the long ass post, but if you stuck around till now you're a real one <3
|
F3NN3LL_
| 1
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-20 21:47:28
|
getting_over_it
|
Ayoo Its my first post on here and I know this shits long, but please stick with me ;-; Here's some not so quick background info: - <es>Im 18 as of now, and I've been depressed since I was 12 or 13.<ee> <efs>I feel like ive been stuck in a rut for just about my entire life, and at this point idk how to even begin coming out of it because idk what its like to live normally and happily. <efe> - <es>Ive always isolated myself, so I have no dependable friends atm.<ee> <es>Up until now I've never had an issue with being alone; Im very introverted and I enjoy my alone time, but recently ive been miserable by myself.<ee> <es>For the past 6 months I havent socially interacted with anyone, so now that I'm reaching out to people trying to build new connections, I'm falling short and not getting anywhere with it.<ee> - <es>I really dont have any hobbies.<ee> <es>I work 5 days, 50 hrs a week.<ee> <es>When im not working I'm playing videogames or watching whatever bullshit is on TV, but I dont find this pleasurable in any way, it only gives me something to do. <ee> - <es>When I was 16 I got a very serious concussion that left me mentally impaired for half a year (seriously).<ee> <es>I couldnt read and I struggled to walk for months, but after half a year I regained most of my cognitive function back to the levels they were prior to the injury.<ee> <es>I say most of my cognitive function because I did not regain my memories or the ability to form long term memories.<ee> <es>I Still have all of my knowledge, the useless facts, etc, but I have no real memories of before I recieved my concussion, and I dont remember anything thats happened in my life up until about half a year ago.<ee> <es> I know about my past life, through reading about it (I have kept a dauly journal since I was 14), but I dont have any memories of my past life.<ee> Thats the jist of all the shit that I got going on right now, so here where I need some input: - <rs>What do I do about having no memories?<re> <efs>This fucks me up more than anything else because I dont truly know a thing about myself, and I cant shake the feeling that I'm an imposter posing as someone else.<efe> <efs>It really gets to me.<efe> <efs>This issue also fucks with me because I feel like no one can remember who I am, even myself.<efe> - <rs>What hobbies do you guys enjoy?<re> <rs>What do normal people do in their free time when not with someone else?<re> - <rs>How do I learn to socialize and make friends starting from the ground up, with nothing?<re> Sorry for the long ass post, but if you stuck around till now you're a real one <3
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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en9y09
|
How I Broke free
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0
|
chitchat
| 3
| null |
LuckyKnowledge9
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-11 17:03:10
|
domesticviolence
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ei88zf
|
Can not wrap my head around...
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
Getting my space cleaned and packed...
I have a month to move out of this apartment
I've read every '30 tips' every 'where to start' and 'for beginners' and 'for dummies' and every other god damn theory of cleaning and organizing thing I can find, I could probably pass a masters level test in the theory of keeping a clean house, but most of the time I can barely get over is how overwhelming it is to even just stand up and look at my living situation. It's really really terrible. I've always been messy but things have actually gotten to the point of filthy, it's disgusting here, and I break down nearly every time I try to get started.
If I can manage that, then picking up that first item is like trying to figure out how to word a wish to a devil.
After that, I don't know what to do with the god damn thing in my hand.
I think I should start with my clothes, but I have to clean them, but I have no detergent, and I'm broke.
I have a month to pack up my damn life and move and I need to clean this place but damn near every time I stand up, I end up so angry, confused, sad, frustrated, anxious, everything! I'm just... overwhelmed...
Has anyone figured out how to go from disgusting to... not great, I don't even need good, I just need little, manageable bites I can take out of this.
My therapist has really stressed the importance of trying to break tasks down, I don't know if I haven't been able to do that well enough, or if I need to try something else, think about this differently, combine that with something, I'm just so lost and confused, and no one in my life seems to be able to help me out. Besides not having that many friends, the ones I do have all have their own life problems and are just not available much, or live somewhere far away and are at a loss for helping me.
Yes, I am medicated... :/
|
AceTrainerLulu
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2019-12-31 20:20:02
|
ADHD
|
<es>Getting my space cleaned and packed... <ee> <es>I have a month to move out of this apartment <ee> <es>I've read every '30 tips' every 'where to start' and 'for beginners' and 'for dummies' and every other god damn theory of cleaning and organizing thing I can find, I could probably pass a masters level test in the theory of keeping a clean house, but most of the time I can barely get over is how overwhelming it is to even just stand up and look at my living situation.<ee> <es>It's really really terrible.<ee> <efs>I've always been messy but things have actually gotten to the point of filthy, it's disgusting here, and I break down nearly every time I try to get started.<efe> <es>If I can manage that, then picking up that first item is like trying to figure out how to word a wish to a devil. <ee> <es>After that, I don't know what to do with the god damn thing in my hand. <ee> <es>I think I should start with my clothes, but I have to clean them, but I have no detergent, and I'm broke. <ee> <efs>I have a month to pack up my damn life and move and I need to clean this place but damn near every time I stand up, I end up so angry, confused, sad, frustrated, anxious, everything!<efe> <efs>I'm just... overwhelmed... <efe> <rs>Has anyone figured out how to go from disgusting to... not great.<re> <rs>I don't even need good.<re> <rs>I just need little, manageable bites I can take out of this. <re> <es>My therapist has really stressed the importance of trying to break tasks down, I don't know if I haven't been able to do that well enough, or if I need to try something else, think about this differently, combine that with something.<ee> <efs>I'm just so lost and confused, and no one in my life seems to be able to help me out.<efe> <es>Besides not having that many friends, the ones I do have all have their own life problems and are just not available much, or live somewhere far away and are at a loss for helping me. <ee> <es>Yes, I am medicated... :/<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eiz14e
|
Done
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
I posted but it needed a flair. Was removed. I got no help so i did my thing. Mods are not helping by imsisting on this.
|
iwishiwasaperson
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-02 14:42:26
|
BPD
|
I posted but it needed a flair. Was removed. I got no help so i did my thing. Mods are not helping by imsisting on this.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
ejln3m
|
This woman's mom faced homelessness because of domestic violence. She created a non-profit to help the hidden homeless.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
TheJaquiLee
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-03 20:58:27
|
domesticviolence
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eii1h9
|
How to help partner understand what I go through?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hi, first time posting here. I have severe complex PTSD from a lifetime (I'm 25) of physical and sexual abuse. Ive been married for a year now and it seems like no matter how hard I try to communicate to my husband what I go through, what my triggers are, and the way I feel when I'm having flashbacks or am anxious in certain situations he doesnt get it. Does anyone have any resources ( books, lectures, anything really) to help partners of abuse victims understand what we go through and how to be supportive?
Thanks 💖
|
Itsvenombitch
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 12:51:23
|
ptsd
|
Hi, first time posting here. <es>I have severe complex PTSD from a lifetime (I'm 25) of physical and sexual abuse.<ee> <es>Ive been married for a year now and it seems like no matter how hard I try to communicate to my husband what I go through, what my triggers are, and the way I feel when I'm having flashbacks or am anxious in certain situations he doesnt get it.<ee> <rs>Does anyone have any resources ( books, lectures, anything really) to help partners of abuse victims understand what we go through and how to be supportive? <re> Thanks 💖
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the flashbacks
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eibao8
|
New year, a time to remember how far you've come, or not in my case...
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
This time last year was the first time I had a full blown sober hallucination and it still freaks me out. Ended up cutting my arms to try and feel pain, to make sure the world was real. Of course the world was real, but my pain was none existent.
Unfortunately I haven't really had any help over the past year, if anything my entire situation has gotten worse. I hate doing stuff like this, but after seeing all the new years posts about how people's lives have gotten better, I just needed to vent how this has literally been the worst year of my life. Well I guess the only way is up....i hope....
|
wobbletastic
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 00:23:18
|
BPD
|
<es>This time last year was the first time I had a full blown sober hallucination.<ee> <efs>it still freaks me out.<efe> <es>Ended up cutting my arms to try and feel pain, to make sure the world was real.<ee> Of course the world was real, but my pain was none existent. <es>Unfortunately I haven't really had any help over the past year, if anything my entire situation has gotten worse.<ee> <rs>I hate doing stuff like this, but after seeing all the new years posts about how people's lives have gotten better, I just needed to vent how this has literally been the worst year of my life.<re> Well I guess the only way is up....i hope....
| 2
| 1
| 1
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the hallucinations make you feel
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you control the hallucinations
| null | true
| 211
|
f6h9df
|
I just can’t do it anymore.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
Yesterday my ex pulled a big chunk of my hair out and I really wanna die. I’m just tired of everything. I don’t deserve this. I feel like it’s never gonna stop.
|
Violetmama08
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-02-19 20:57:56
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>Yesterday my ex pulled a big chunk of my hair out and I really wanna die.<ee> <efs>I’m just tired of everything.<efe> <efs>I don’t deserve this.<efe> <efs>I feel like it’s never gonna stop.<efe>
| 1
| 2
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why your ex beat you
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your ex is physically abusive towards you
| null | true
| 120
|
ej2jzd
|
Any thoughts?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
What should I do Reddit? My biggest Christmas present was that my parents are getting divorced. Gonna have to move again. Too nice for girls to like. Only thing I have going for me at this point is my good grades in college. Can’t vent to parents cause it’ll F everything up. Can’t tell my friends because I live in a small town and word travels fast. What should I do?
|
guxk_1
| 3
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-02 19:06:46
|
sad
|
What should I do Reddit? <es>My biggest Christmas present was that my parents are getting divorced.<ee> <efs>Gonna have to move again.<efe> <es>Too nice for girls to like.<ee> Only thing I have going for me at this point is my good grades in college. <es>Can’t vent to parents cause it’ll F everything up.<ee> <es>Can’t tell my friends because I live in a small town and word travels fast.<ee> <rs>What should I do?<re>
| 2
| 1
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you ffeel about your parents divorce
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to talk to someone about your situation
| null | true
| 210
|
ejb1so
|
Dealing with anxiety while in a relationship?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
How could I deal with extremely crippling anxiety in a relationship?
|
sociallyanxious-m
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-03 05:43:26
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>How could I deal with extremely crippling anxiety in a relationship?<ee>
| 0
| 2
| 0
|
What made you feel X ?
|
anxious in a relationship
| null | null |
What can help you overcome X ?
|
this feeling of anxiousness
|
double
| true
| 20
|
eimggd
|
Dunno if I sound selfish (long-ish post)
|
1b
|
rant
| 3
|
I have a decent amount of friends that deal with mental illness, and I deal with it myself. My best friend and I bonded over our shared issues and have grown together in our journeys to better ourselves and become healthy. For us it's a constant walk of growth, always looking to make sure we can find ways to become stronger for ourselves and those around us. We keep our mental illness to ourselves and each other mostly. Maybe I've become comfortable with her strength, because when my other friends with mental illnesses start talking about how maybe they shouldn't exist, I get agitated.
I feel like everyone needs a nip in the butt to get going on their journey, and I don't know if maybe this is selfish of me, but I can't be that nip all the time. Someone I talk to doesn't have many friends and I'm very willing to be that friend for him all the time, but I feel as though he constantly switches the conversation to how awful he always feels. And whenever I bring up my feelings he always interjects his. It's like he's the spotlight, and I have to always be careful with how I talk around him because I'll say the wrong thing and even if I didn't mean it the way he read it, he read it that way and I have to instantly be sorry.
But I'm not. Maybe I should be more sympathetic because I deal with mental illness myself but I can't be sympathetic for people who indirectly ask for people's attention to make themselves feel better and yet have no steps lined out for themselves to get better. And no matter how many times I tell him the only person who can really help him get better is himself, he doesn't listen. He doesn't care that the beginning to getting better is a complete change in mindset. It's forcing yourself to see positives and taking short periods of time to feel sorry for yourself and then picking yourself right back up again. It's finding healthy ways of coping, getting out of the house and being proactive. It's literally forcing yourself to do these things and it's genuinely listening to any help people choose to give you.
It's making plans for the future so you can actually envision it happening instead of wondering where you'll be in a few years because you don't even know if you want to survive that long. But it's making plans that are special to you and don't rely on ANYONE else because you are the thing in your life that is permanent and you should never rely on anyone else for your happiness.
I just don't understand how for someone who says he needs help so, so bad, he can throw away any advice I give him. I can't coddle someone and hold their hand through it all and lie and say it's all going to be okay. At some point someone has to let go of the back of the bike and take off the training wheels or else you'll never make progress riding the bike by yourself.
I don't know if I sound selfish, I just needed to rant. It takes a lot of energy out of me when someone acts like this especially since I deal with my own things and I try and help as much as possible regardless of what I'm going through. But there's only so much I can do before I begin to shut down.
|
Xanthellae-
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-01 19:27:35
|
mentalillness
|
<es>I have a decent amount of friends that deal with mental illness, and I deal with it myself.<ee> My best friend and I bonded over our shared issues and have grown together in our journeys to better ourselves and become healthy. For us it's a constant walk of growth, always looking to make sure we can find ways to become stronger for ourselves and those around us. <es>We keep our mental illness to ourselves and each other mostly.<ee> <es>Maybe I've become comfortable with her strength, because when my other friends with mental illnesses start talking about how maybe they shouldn't exist, I get agitated.<ee> <efs>I feel like everyone needs a nip in the butt to get going on their journey, and I don't know if maybe this is selfish of me, but I can't be that nip all the time.<efe> <efs>Someone I talk to doesn't have many friends and I'm very willing to be that friend for him all the time, but I feel as though he constantly switches the conversation to how awful he always feels.<efe> And whenever I bring up my feelings he always interjects his. <es>It's like he's the spotlight, and I have to always be careful with how I talk around him because I'll say the wrong thing and even if I didn't mean it the way he read it, he read it that way and I have to instantly be sorry.<ee> But I'm not. Maybe I should be more sympathetic because I deal with mental illness myself but I can't be sympathetic for people who indirectly ask for people's attention to make themselves feel better and yet have no steps lined out for themselves to get better. And no matter how many times I tell him the only person who can really help him get better is himself, he doesn't listen. He doesn't care that the beginning to getting better is a complete change in mindset. It's forcing yourself to see positives and taking short periods of time to feel sorry for yourself and then picking yourself right back up again. It's finding healthy ways of coping, getting out of the house and being proactive. It's literally forcing yourself to do these things and it's genuinely listening to any help people choose to give you. It's making plans for the future so you can actually envision it happening instead of wondering where you'll be in a few years because you don't even know if you want to survive that long. But it's making plans that are special to you and don't rely on ANYONE else because you are the thing in your life that is permanent and you should never rely on anyone else for your happiness. I just don't understand how for someone who says he needs help so, so bad, he can throw away any advice I give him. I can't coddle someone and hold their hand through it all and lie and say it's all going to be okay. At some point someone has to let go of the back of the bike and take off the training wheels or else you'll never make progress riding the bike by yourself. <rs>I don't know if I sound selfish, I just needed to rant.<re> <efs>It takes a lot of energy out of me when someone acts like this especially since I deal with my own things and I try and help as much as possible regardless of what I'm going through.<efe> But there's only so much I can do before I begin to shut down.
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eiax65
|
Imagine being in 2020 for 40 min and not feeling any happiness.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
Well that's me, trying not to seem unhappy so my friends still can enjoy their party and so i don't look like the depressed, boring person that i truly am.
I hope sincerely that 2020 will be a better year tho.
2019 for me: my suicidal gf left me after 2 years of relationship to go out with a person she met at his "hospital" (which is more of a suicide preventing center), my second gf left me too, i ended up: being depressed, then suicidal, and addicted to opiates, not in the school i wanted to go, currently dropping off of this same school, in a shitty relationship with my parents because of my mental issue, and lonely even surrounded by what used to be friends.
And now, in the beginning of the year 2020, i'll have to go in the same hospital my first gf left me because of my depression. That sounds fucking ironic.
I seriously hope it will get better because i'm affraid of myself, affraid of not ending 2020.
And i wish a better/good year to everybody living this. We should not give up.
|
Anitexy
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2019-12-31 23:53:40
|
depression
|
Well that's me, trying not to seem unhappy so my friends still can enjoy their party and so i don't look like the depressed, boring person that i truly am. I hope sincerely that 2020 will be a better year tho. 2019 for me: my suicidal gf left me after 2 years of relationship to go out with a person she met at his "hospital" (which is more of a suicide preventing center), my second gf left me too, i ended up: being depressed, then suicidal, and addicted to opiates, not in the school i wanted to go, currently dropping off of this same school, in a shitty relationship with my parents because of my mental issue, and lonely even surrounded by what used to be friends. And now, in the beginning of the year 2020, i'll have to go in the same hospital my first gf left me because of my depression. That sounds fucking ironic. I seriously hope it will get better because i'm affraid of myself, affraid of not ending 2020. And i wish a better/good year to everybody living this. We should not give up.
| 2
| 1
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how 2019 made you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are feeling so depressed
| null | true
| 210
|
emdog4
|
Turned the corner, married, had kids, seemed fine. His last texts were clear but he covered the sincerity with that desperation to seem normal. RIP Leon.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
noyafabian
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-09 18:25:06
|
mentalillness
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
emapgp
|
ALL medical professionals should be required extensive training on PTSD
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
Just a rant. Its long.
Malware is software written specifically to harm and infect the host system. PTSD is the malware infecting my system and FEAR is the virus that wrecks havoc.
So I have been triggered and my symptoms take over my entire being.
I have 3 options
Flee
Freeze
Or Fight
These are the ONLY options fear will give me, suddenly a harmless and simple situation has turned into a battle for my survival. And yes, to me, its as dire as it sounds. So my logic and reason programming has been overridden -its not gone, its still running, but its only running at minimum so the virus can feed off the program and piggy back on the signal to proceed with the virus’ own programming.
So I am faced with the three options mentioned above. What do they look like?
Flee- Literally leave the situation in any way I can. Seeing as the logic and reason programming is still running albeit at a limitation, I can process enough information from my environment to look for an immediate exit and follow through with fleeing from the situation. Analyzing my environment for an exit is about the only way I can use the logic and reason program that is still running. And this is an immediate reaction, either i phsically leave my environment ASAP or make arrangements and overcoming necessary hurdles to leave. The way I flee is dependant on the trigger that accessed the survival instinct. And the severity of my reaction to flee is also dependant on said specific trigger. No matter what I'm doing or what's going on, when I'm triggered it's time to flee.
Fight- So my fear of my survival has been activated (essentially, my logic and reason program has been infected with the malicious code FEAR) and my logic and reason programming is running at a minimum. I’ve already scanned and processed the option to leave but I have come to the conclusion that fleeing is not an option. Meaning my exits in my environment are blocked or there are people who are blocking my exits. For my reaction to be extreme enough to want to fight, the people blocking my only exits must be some type of authority. For example, police officers, EMTs, or any type of medical professionals. My understanding is that these people are the only people who can act on their authority at will with or without good intent. In civil society, these people are considered as necessary and these people are supposed to hold good intent. I am recounting VIVIDLY how each and everyone of these so called “authority with good intent” VIOLATED me. Physically and psychologically. Seeing as I don't want to relive said horrible experiences again I consider theses authorities as ENEMIES to my survival whenever I see them when my survival instinct has been severely triggered. I will FIGHT these authorities. I will flail and scream and cry and do whatever makes them feel uncomfortable by being naked or screeching and howling when they touch me. And it seems like, in my experience, these authorities do not have the faculties or understanding to not not treat me like an animal. I mean in all of my recounted experiences of cops, EMTs and nurses they exacerbated my symptoms by physically hurting me and demeaning me. Remember my logic and reason program is still running in the background so i’m still aware of what’s being said to me, how they are touching me, how they handle me and what emotions they evoke when they demean me. Plus im cogiscent enough to realize, causing injury to said authorities is a metaphorical DEATH SENTENCE. I don't want to go to jail or be arrested, or treated like a dangerous and malicious mentally ill person, so I am cognizant enough not to cause injury to others- I'm just SCARED and I CRY. Do these professionals really think I’m a danger to them when I’m naked and bawling and screeching about being raped and that I don't want to be touched without care? Don’t I have a right to say “don't touch me” during perineal care yet said medical professionals disregard my repeated requests? Rendering me even more panicked about being in the ER? They think im insane. Well THEY are the ones who are insane with reasoning that extreme measures of restraint, ridicule and deliberate touching of my clitoris is the only way to treat a frightened, crying, naked young woman. Who let these people be medical professionals? And they get to live their lives thinking they did nothing wrong while I SUFFER .I’m reliving these memories to the point of not functioning due to the extreme anxiety that these memories induce. I have PTSD from my experience at the ER. PTSD that is being treated with the help of my primary doctor. Who btw, I can barely see because he triggers such horrible feelings and memories.
Medical professionals are suppose to be a beacon of hope, but instead they are psychological abusers. When it comes to psychological trauma, it's like all their training goes out the window and I'm just some animal. These medical professionals should not be allowed to wantonly explain away their cruelty and the robbing of my humanity with a phrase of “that just my job.” yet I have no name of the woman who touched my clitoris deliberately while providing perineal care. I don't even recall if she was an RN or CNA. But the restraints? Those were uncalled for and I’m going to have to live with that trauma for the rest of my life.
Freeze: knowing I cant fight or flee my body and brain just shuts down. I'm immobile, incapable of normal interaction. I'm still cognizant of what's around me but I'm being forced to watch the memories like some sick psycho is tying my down to a chair and forcing horrible movies about my life. I'm shivering, holding back tears gripping whatever is in my hand with dear life. Just visible distressed and immobile.
Every single one of these reactions are EMBARRASSING and SHAMEFUL in polite society. I'm no longer worthy to exist because people just dont understand what trauma does to a person.
|
sweetsandia
| 1
| 0
| 47
|
2020-01-09 14:56:06
|
ptsd
|
Just a rant. Its long. Malware is software written specifically to harm and infect the host system. PTSD is the malware infecting my system and FEAR is the virus that wrecks havoc. So I have been triggered and my symptoms take over my entire being. I have 3 options Flee Freeze Or Fight These are the ONLY options fear will give me, suddenly a harmless and simple situation has turned into a battle for my survival. And yes, to me, its as dire as it sounds. So my logic and reason programming has been overridden -its not gone, its still running, but its only running at minimum so the virus can feed off the program and piggy back on the signal to proceed with the virus’ own programming. So I am faced with the three options mentioned above. What do they look like? Flee- Literally leave the situation in any way I can. Seeing as the logic and reason programming is still running albeit at a limitation, I can process enough information from my environment to look for an immediate exit and follow through with fleeing from the situation. Analyzing my environment for an exit is about the only way I can use the logic and reason program that is still running. And this is an immediate reaction, either i phsically leave my environment ASAP or make arrangements and overcoming necessary hurdles to leave. The way I flee is dependant on the trigger that accessed the survival instinct. And the severity of my reaction to flee is also dependant on said specific trigger. No matter what I'm doing or what's going on, when I'm triggered it's time to flee. Fight- So my fear of my survival has been activated (essentially, my logic and reason program has been infected with the malicious code FEAR) and my logic and reason programming is running at a minimum. I’ve already scanned and processed the option to leave but I have come to the conclusion that fleeing is not an option. Meaning my exits in my environment are blocked or there are people who are blocking my exits. For my reaction to be extreme enough to want to fight, the people blocking my only exits must be some type of authority. For example, police officers, EMTs, or any type of medical professionals. My understanding is that these people are the only people who can act on their authority at will with or without good intent. In civil society, these people are considered as necessary and these people are supposed to hold good intent. I am recounting VIVIDLY how each and everyone of these so called “authority with good intent” VIOLATED me. Physically and psychologically. Seeing as I don't want to relive said horrible experiences again I consider theses authorities as ENEMIES to my survival whenever I see them when my survival instinct has been severely triggered. I will FIGHT these authorities. I will flail and scream and cry and do whatever makes them feel uncomfortable by being naked or screeching and howling when they touch me. And it seems like, in my experience, these authorities do not have the faculties or understanding to not not treat me like an animal. I mean in all of my recounted experiences of cops, EMTs and nurses they exacerbated my symptoms by physically hurting me and demeaning me. Remember my logic and reason program is still running in the background so i’m still aware of what’s being said to me, how they are touching me, how they handle me and what emotions they evoke when they demean me. Plus im cogiscent enough to realize, causing injury to said authorities is a metaphorical DEATH SENTENCE. I don't want to go to jail or be arrested, or treated like a dangerous and malicious mentally ill person, so I am cognizant enough not to cause injury to others- I'm just SCARED and I CRY. Do these professionals really think I’m a danger to them when I’m naked and bawling and screeching about being raped and that I don't want to be touched without care? Don’t I have a right to say “don't touch me” during perineal care yet said medical professionals disregard my repeated requests? Rendering me even more panicked about being in the ER? They think im insane. Well THEY are the ones who are insane with reasoning that extreme measures of restraint, ridicule and deliberate touching of my clitoris is the only way to treat a frightened, crying, naked young woman. Who let these people be medical professionals? And they get to live their lives thinking they did nothing wrong while I SUFFER .I’m reliving these memories to the point of not functioning due to the extreme anxiety that these memories induce. I have PTSD from my experience at the ER. PTSD that is being treated with the help of my primary doctor. Who btw, I can barely see because he triggers such horrible feelings and memories. Medical professionals are suppose to be a beacon of hope, but instead they are psychological abusers. When it comes to psychological trauma, it's like all their training goes out the window and I'm just some animal. These medical professionals should not be allowed to wantonly explain away their cruelty and the robbing of my humanity with a phrase of “that just my job.” yet I have no name of the woman who touched my clitoris deliberately while providing perineal care. I don't even recall if she was an RN or CNA. But the restraints? Those were uncalled for and I’m going to have to live with that trauma for the rest of my life. Freeze: knowing I cant fight or flee my body and brain just shuts down. I'm immobile, incapable of normal interaction. I'm still cognizant of what's around me but I'm being forced to watch the memories like some sick psycho is tying my down to a chair and forcing horrible movies about my life. I'm shivering, holding back tears gripping whatever is in my hand with dear life. Just visible distressed and immobile. Every single one of these reactions are EMBARRASSING and SHAMEFUL in polite society. I'm no longer worthy to exist because people just dont understand what trauma does to a person.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eijmit
|
Mississippi
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Just curious. Anyone here from the ‘Sip?
|
ilikemycrazy
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 15:44:04
|
addiction
|
Just curious. Anyone here from the ‘Sip?
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ek5r65
|
Is it just me being selfish or something else
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Since beginning of middle school I have been feel so upset and didn't wanted to do anything i felt lost and hopeless. There was one time where my friends were in a lower place tham mine in ski. I tried to support them so they wont be that sad anymore and i felt so incredibly guilty. What if i where in a lower place than them, then they would be better. I felt so ashamed and guilty that i thought the whole night about it. I was probaly over dramatic but i felt so guilty. I almost always feel this way even writing this is hard for me bc i think that im waste of your time and it is probaly irrelevant. I have been betrayed very often and had a two toxic "friend" one of them ruined my social life, blackmailed me, used me and so on and the other toxic friend did the same but worse. I also have sucidal thoughts and everytime i see something that i could kill myself with I'm always thinking "what if". I am also getting bullied at school but i if i tell the teacher everyone would hate me more and the teacher wouldn't even care. I dont wanna that my parents know about this bc i dont really trust them and i fear that they will judge me and say that i have a great life that i should be grateful for. I actually fear everyone that will judge me. Like one time i had to do a presentation biology and i remembered everything but when i was in front of my class, it was like if i was paralyzed. I couldn't talk i could do nothing it was like having a inner panic attack but outside i couldn't do anything. I'm shaking while writing this. Since i got betrayed the second time i didnt trust anyone anymore. I personally think that i have some mental health issues but I should never self diagnose myself. What do you think that i might have. If yes pls tell me how i can cope with those things but i dont wanna go to a therapist or Psychologist or what so ever bc my parents will know about it.And other people have it worse than me how can i be so selfish.
|
Ran_Mori
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-05 01:16:15
|
mentalillness
|
<efs>Since beginning of middle school I have been feel so upset and didn't wanted to do anything i felt lost and hopeless.<efe> There was one time where my friends were in a lower place tham mine in ski. <efs>I tried to support them so they wont be that sad anymore and i felt so incredibly guilty.<efe> What if i where in a lower place than them, then they would be better. <efs>I felt so ashamed and guilty that i thought the whole night about it.<efe> I was probaly over dramatic but i felt so guilty. <efs>I almost always feel this way even writing this is hard for me bc i think that im waste of your time and it is probaly irrelevant.<efe> <es>I have been betrayed very often and had a two toxic "friend" one of them ruined my social life, blackmailed me, used me and so on and the other toxic friend did the same but worse.<ee> <es>I also have sucidal thoughts and everytime i see something that i could kill myself with I'm always thinking "what if".<ee> <es>I am also getting bullied at school but i if i tell the teacher everyone would hate me more and the teacher wouldn't even care.<ee> I dont wanna that my parents know about this bc i dont really trust them and i fear that they will judge me and say that i have a great life that i should be grateful for. <efs>I actually fear everyone that will judge me.<efe> Like one time i had to do a presentation biology and i remembered everything but when i was in front of my class, it was like if i was paralyzed. <es>I couldn't talk i could do nothing it was like having a inner panic attack but outside i couldn't do anything.<ee> I'm shaking while writing this. <es>Since i got betrayed the second time i didnt trust anyone anymore.<ee> I personally think that i have some mental health issues but I should never self diagnose myself. <rs>What do you think that i might have.<re> <rs>If yes pls tell me how i can cope with those things but i dont wanna go to a therapist or Psychologist or what so ever bc my parents will know about it.<re>And other people have it worse than me how can i be so selfish.
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
f2g9q5
|
I don't have control over myself, please help me
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I'm 17 and often when I get killed or something doesn't work in a game I rage quit and scream and start throwing things. Sometimes I destroy something or hurt myself and I really dont like it. It just builds up and i just explode. Once I screamed so hard and loud the neighbours called the 911. I cant handle my emotions and I feel like shit because of it. Tonight i scratched my face open. I know this is not okay and I need help. Also sometimes when I have an argument with my little brother and I explode, I grab him and just throw him to the ground. I cant help it it just happens and I hate myself for it please help me.
Sorry for english
|
PM_ME_UR_BOOBY
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-02-11 22:23:11
|
Anger
|
<es>I'm 17 and often when I get killed or something doesn't work in a game I rage quit and scream and start throwing things.<ee> <es>Sometimes I destroy something or hurt myself and I really dont like it.<ee> <es>It just builds up and i just explode.<ee> <es>Once I screamed so hard and loud the neighbours called the 911.<ee> <efs>I cant handle my emotions and I feel like shit because of it.<efe> <es>Tonight i scratched my face open.<ee> <rs>I know this is not okay and I need help.<re> <es>Also sometimes when I have an argument with my little brother and I explode, I grab him and just throw him to the ground.<ee> <efs>I cant help it it just happens and I hate myself for it please help me.<efe> Sorry for english
| 2
| 2
| 1
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you control your rage
| null | true
| 221
|
elancv
|
How to keep them from drawing you in again?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
.. I don’t want to say too much. He served jail time. He almost killed me. i got away. How do I remind myself that I am not the guilty party? How do I stay free forever? I never stopped loving him. And I hate myself for it.
I am so susceptible to the tears and the suicide threats. The melting in your arms crying and begging for forgiveness. The promises. The “proof of change.”
And then the red flags come back. The kitchen utensils suddenly feel dangerous. You start checking to make sure you have a clear path to the door.
He worked his way back in. It took months. And a year before Those months started where I didn’t speak to him. I built a new life. He started with his “Proof.” His sobriety. His Begging. Showing changes. Hours of talking. “I always waited for you to comeback” he says. And he did. “I got sober because of what I did” he says. And he did.
And so I am drawn in. And lulled into security.
And then the red flags started. Mood swings. Kitchen knives held to his own throat. That kind of thing.
So I calm things down. We “work it out” and I say- “I’m gonna go grab dinner, do you want anything?” And I’ve already packed my one and only bag. And I leave. I get far away fast. I head home.
And then he realizes I’m gone. And the suicide threats start. Possibly not threats - he tried to end it before and was life flighted. Why? because I saved his life when he ate 200 aspirin. So those threats may be valid. He keeps me there with threats on himself now, not toward me anymore. “Proof of change.” So I shut off my phone and I keep driving.
And then the verbal abuse.
He says he changed for me. Followed by, “I hate you”, “you’re a lying fake bitch,” etc. He says “I did everything to show you I changed and you don’t care!
You’re a selfish bitch- fuck you” “I don’t wanna love my best isn’t good enough for anyone!” “You’ve ruined my life!”
So here is where I need the help. See, Tonight I went back to my real life. He never fully drew me in again.
I never let him get me all the way.
Those suicide threats though? They work. They work so well on me. I’m so easily guilted.
However.
That last beating, well, that one involved jail time for him, and put me in the hospital. I didn’t forget it. Couldn’t ever forget it.
I’m clear right now. In my head. I see that he’s falling right back into his patterns. And he said he hates me and never wants to see me again. No more suicide threats though!
Now it’s other threats. Threats to blackmail me. Things like that. Well, I have nothing to hide. So those don’t bug me much either. Though he may have turned a friend against me. But if so, what kind of friend would listen to him over me?
What I’m scared of isn’t the threatening. It’s the tears. It’s the apologies. It’s the love.
He’s smart. He can be kind. And generous. He knows every weak spot I have. He can manipulate me so well.
How do I keep myself from falling in again? Cause I never thought I ever would! Until I’m standing in the kitchen and eyeballing then knives wondering, what have I done? How did he even get me to visit him? I’m so mad at myself. And I still love him!!
Someone please tell me I’m not a piece of shit.
|
treyci
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-07 12:00:39
|
domesticviolence
|
.. I don’t want to say too much. <es>He served jail time.<ee> <es>He almost killed me.<ee> <es>i got away.<ee> <rs>How do I remind myself that I am not the guilty party?<re> <rs>How do I stay free forever?<re> <es>I never stopped loving him.<ee> <efs>And I hate myself for it. <efe> <es>I am so susceptible to the tears and the suicide threats.<ee> <es>The melting in your arms crying and begging for forgiveness.<ee> <es>The promises.<ee> <es>The “proof of change.” <ee> <es>And then the red flags come back.<ee> <es>The kitchen utensils suddenly feel dangerous.<ee> <es>You start checking to make sure you have a clear path to the door. <ee> <es>He worked his way back in.<ee> <es>It took months.<ee> <es>And a year before Those months started where I didn’t speak to him.<ee> <es>I built a new life.<ee> <es>He started with his “Proof.”<ee> <es>His sobriety.<ee> <es>His Begging.<ee> <es>Showing changes.<ee> <es>Hours of talking.<ee> <es>“I always waited for you to comeback” he says.<ee> <es>And he did.<ee> <es>“I got sober because of what I did” he says.<ee> <es>And he did. <ee> <es>And so I am drawn in.<ee> <es>And lulled into security. <ee> <es>And then the red flags started.<ee> <es>Mood swings.<ee> <es>Kitchen knives held to his own throat.<ee> That kind of thing. <es>So I calm things down.<ee> <es>We “work it out” and I say- “I’m gonna go grab dinner, do you want anything?” And I’ve already packed my one and only bag.<ee> <es>And I leave.<ee> <es>I get far away fast.<ee> <es>I head home. <ee> <es>And then he realizes I’m gone.<ee> <es>And the suicide threats start.<ee> <es>Possibly not threats - he tried to end it before and was life flighted.<ee> <es>Why?<ee> <es>because I saved his life when he ate 200 aspirin.<ee> <es>So those threats may be valid.<ee> <es>He keeps me there with threats on himself now, not toward me anymore.<ee> <es>“Proof of change.”<ee> <es>So I shut off my phone and I keep driving. <ee> <es>And then the verbal abuse.<ee> <es>He says he changed for me.<ee> <es>Followed by, “I hate you”, “you’re a lying fake bitch,” etc.<ee> <es>He says “I did everything to show you I changed and you don’t care! You’re a selfish bitch- fuck you” “I don’t wanna love my best isn’t good enough for anyone!” “You’ve ruined my life!” <ee> <rs>So here is where I need the help.<re> <es>See, Tonight I went back to my real life.<ee> <es>He never fully drew me in again. <ee> <es>I never let him get me all the way. <ee> <es>Those suicide threats though?<ee> <es>They work.<ee> <es>They work so well on me.<ee> <efs>I’m so easily guilted. <efe> However. <es>That last beating, well, that one involved jail time for him, and put me in the hospital.<ee> <es>I didn’t forget it.<ee> <es>Couldn’t ever forget it. <ee> <es>I’m clear right now.<ee> <es>In my head.<ee> <es>I see that he’s falling right back into his patterns.<ee> <es>And he said he hates me and never wants to see me again.<ee> <es>No more suicide threats though! <ee> <es>Now it’s other threats.<ee> <es>Threats to blackmail me.<ee> <es>Things like that.<ee> <es>Well, I have nothing to hide.<ee> <es>So those don’t bug me much either.<ee> <es>Though he may have turned a friend against me.<ee> <es>But if so, what kind of friend would listen to him over me?<ee> <efs>What I’m scared of isn’t the threatening.<efe> <efs>It’s the tears.<efe> <efs>It’s the apologies.<efe> <efs>It’s the love. <efe> <es>He’s smart.<ee> <es>He can be kind.<ee> <es>And generous.<ee> <es>He knows every weak spot I have.<ee> <es>He can manipulate me so well. <ee> <rs>How do I keep myself from falling in again?<re> <es>Cause I never thought I ever would!<ee> <rs>Until I’m standing in the kitchen and eyeballing then knives wondering, what have I done?<re> <rs>How did he even get me to visit him?<re> <efs>I’m so mad at myself.<efe> <es>And I still love him!!<ee> <rs>Someone please tell me I’m not a piece of shit.<re>
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| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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ekq60q
|
the fact that you are here looking for support means you haven't given up and you are working towards healing. it means you are fighting
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
i'm proud of you
take care everyone
|
onwardtomanagua
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-06 06:34:57
|
ptsd
|
the fact that you are here looking for support means you haven't given up and you are working towards healing. it means you are fighting i'm proud of you take care everyone
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eiy4lc
|
Forgiving myself
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 2
|
I’ve suffered from anxiety since a very young age and it wasn’t until I was 20 years old that I knew what it was. That was 5 years ago now.
And as many of you will know with anxiety comes a kind of self hatred. For me personally, if I were to leave the house I would over analyse how I look, how I smell, what I said to others, how I said them and the time after or before something, even during would be spent being so critical of myself and putting myself down to the point of depression. This led to me planning my suicide. Luckily medical professionals were there to help but I’ve now realised they can only do so much. So this year I’ve decided to take the advice of my therapist. To show compassion and understanding to yourself as you would for others.
I have like a tick of some kind, where I would almost uncontrollably say that I hate myself, out loud. I have replaced that with I love myself instead and have felt so much better since. It seems little at first but the more it happens. The more I’m instilling something positive and better for my future mental health.
I just wanted to say to that whoever might see this. Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s not being self indulgent to be kind to yourself, it will only help you.
Have a great year. It’s time to give life the good go it deserves.
|
jfk9514
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-02 13:17:39
|
socialanxiety
|
I’ve suffered from anxiety since a very young age and it wasn’t until I was 20 years old that I knew what it was. That was 5 years ago now. And as many of you will know with anxiety comes a kind of self hatred. For me personally, if I were to leave the house I would over analyse how I look, how I smell, what I said to others, how I said them and the time after or before something, even during would be spent being so critical of myself and putting myself down to the point of depression. This led to me planning my suicide. Luckily medical professionals were there to help but I’ve now realised they can only do so much. So this year I’ve decided to take the advice of my therapist. To show compassion and understanding to yourself as you would for others. I have like a tick of some kind, where I would almost uncontrollably say that I hate myself, out loud. I have replaced that with I love myself instead and have felt so much better since. It seems little at first but the more it happens. The more I’m instilling something positive and better for my future mental health. I just wanted to say to that whoever might see this. Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s not being self indulgent to be kind to yourself, it will only help you. Have a great year. It’s time to give life the good go it deserves.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
elljmb
|
Used to be an achiever student but failing badly in law school
|
1a
|
rant
| 2
|
I used to be an achiever in grade school, high school and even graduated with Latin Honors in college.
Now that I’m in Law School, I am stressed and anxious more than ever. The bar exams in our country is very competitive and so law schools are very competitive, too. My law school just failed half of the batch for a subject with 3 pre-requisites. I am among those who failed. They are doing this so that less students from the school would take the Bar exams which would give them higher percentage of passers.
Last semester, I studied hard but failed 3 subjects. The only thing I can think about now is that I am a failure. Some classmates failed 1 or 2 or 3 subjects. I know I am not alone in this but it feels like I am.
The school gave us all last chance to enroll this semester.
I am thinking of transferring to another law school because the sight of those professors and the administration makes me so anxious.
But I am afraid that once I leave the school, people would judge me as a failure or as someone not strong enough to have hurdled the cruel system of the school. Or other fears like what if I get into another less-prestigious law school and I would not get hired.
I am definitely anxious right now. And I hate the feeling of being a failure.
|
meggxyy
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-08 01:41:57
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I used to be an achiever in grade school, high school and even graduated with Latin Honors in college.<ee> <efs>Now that I’m in Law School, I am stressed and anxious more than ever.<efe> <es>The bar exams in our country is very competitive and so law schools are very competitive, too.<ee> <es>My law school just failed half of the batch for a subject with 3 pre-requisites.<ee> <es>I am among those who failed.<ee> <es>They are doing this so that less students from the school would take the Bar exams which would give them higher percentage of passers.<ee> <es>Last semester, I studied hard but failed 3 subjects.<ee> <es>The only thing I can think about now is that I am a failure.<ee> Some classmates failed 1 or 2 or 3 subjects. <efs>I know I am not alone in this but it feels like I am.<efe> <es>The school gave us all last chance to enroll this semester. <ee> <efs>I am thinking of transferring to another law school because the sight of those professors and the administration makes me so anxious.<efe> <efs>But I am afraid that once I leave the school, people would judge me as a failure or as someone not strong enough to have hurdled the cruel system of the school.<efe> <efs>Or other fears like what if I get into another less-prestigious law school and I would not get hired. <efe> <efs>I am definitely anxious right now.<efe> <efs>And I hate the feeling of being a failure.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel stressed due to failing the subject
| null | true
| 220
|
elbg4b
|
My cat has kidney disease and is slowly withering away, she won’t make it much longer I don’t think :(
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
My 17 year old cat that I’ve had since I was 3, has kidney disease and it’s made her lose weight drastically. She’s nearly 4lbs, went from 9lbs. My mom told me this morning she thinks she won’t make it much longer. Breaks my heart, but I’m gonna spend as much time as possible with her.
|
Miimmoouuu
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-07 13:18:54
|
sad
|
<es>My 17 year old cat that I’ve had since I was 3, has kidney disease and it’s made her lose weight drastically.<ee> <es>She’s nearly 4lbs, went from 9lbs.<ee> <es.My mom told me this morning she thinks she won’t make it much longer.<ee> <efs>Breaks my heart, but I’m gonna spend as much time as possible with her.<efe>
| 2
| 1
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the cat's disease making you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
overcome the sadness
| null | true
| 210
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eonsju
|
Please help
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
This is Day 2 of detox of heroin. Can someone please give me some tips and tricks to get thru this hell
|
_223s903_
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-14 16:48:13
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>This is Day 2 of detox of heroin.<ee> <rs>Can someone please give me some tips and tricks to get thru this hell<re>
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your heroin usage before the detox
|
How did X make you feel?
|
being in detox
| null | null | null | true
| 102
|
eim1jr
|
2019 Pixelated. Daily Mood (left) and Intrusive Thoughts (right) (details in comments)
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0
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chitchat
| 1
| null |
YoureAlwaysNobody
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 18:56:29
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mentalillness
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
body absent
| true
| 0
|
eoom00
|
How much is too much?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
My friend recently told me they’re a recovering addict. They have been sober for about 20 days and they told me on Saturday.
I’m sad I didn’t know they were struggling because they hid it well but I want to be there to support them every step of the way.
Is a daily text asking how they’re doing / feeling alright, or is that too much? They’ve also asked me to send them “happy mail”, like cards and letters of support every so often. I want to be there for them, but I don’t want to be a burden or be too much pressure.
If anyone does know what’s best, let me know!
|
yomommaeatsfarts
| 1
| 0
| 10
|
2020-01-14 17:47:53
|
addiction
|
<es>My friend recently told me they’re a recovering addict.<ee> <es>They have been sober for about 20 days and they told me on Saturday. <ee> <efs>I’m sad I didn’t know they were struggling because they hid it well<efe> <rs>but I want to be there to support them every step of the way. <re> <rs>Is a daily text asking how they’re doing / feeling alright, or is that too much?<re> <rs>They’ve also asked me to send them “happy mail”, like cards and letters of support every so often.<re> <rs>I want to be there for them, but I don’t want to be a burden or be too much pressure. <re> <rs>If anyone does know what’s best, let me know!<re>
| 1
| 1
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your friend's addiction
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about your friend's addiction
| null | null | null | true
| 112
|
eia9rw
|
i bought a DBT workbook for myself :)
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
i'm so happy, even though i know it can't completely "fix" me i hope that going through it will help me even a little bit :)))
|
manfromanother-place
| 1
| 0
| 11
|
2019-12-31 23:01:28
|
BPD
|
i'm so happy, even though i know it can't completely "fix" me i hope that going through it will help me even a little bit :)))
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
f42j02
|
How to “realise” your anger?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hey,
It’s been two days that I’ve accepted that I have a problem with my anger management.
When checking online nearly all the articles either suggest to take a break or do some aggressive sport like boxing etc. Tbf, I’m having my aggression just in my mind and even I’m not a good writer ppl tell me I can come up with extremely heart breaking sentences. I do think I’ve permanently damaged a few friendship of mine because of it.
But the thing is when I’m upset on something, it’s not a thing that piles up. In an instant, the anger barometer is all fills up and there’s literally zero room for me to realise what’s going on with my mind. And the last thing that comes to my mind to “breathe, think about birds or *chillax*’ It’s not like a avalanche grows in size gradually. A full size avalanche sits on top me in an instant.
So instead of generic google search result methods, what is it you do different and works for yourself? What do you suggest? Do I really start boxing? I’m not even interested in it and I have glasses :(
|
StrangeYou
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-02-15 01:44:12
|
Anger
|
Hey, <es>It’s been two days that I’ve accepted that I have a problem with my anger management. <ee> When checking online nearly all the articles either suggest to take a break or do some aggressive sport like boxing etc. <es>Tbf, I’m having my aggression just in my mind and even I’m not a good writer ppl tell me I can come up with extremely heart breaking sentences.<ee> <es>I do think I’ve permanently damaged a few friendship of mine because of it.<ee> <es>But the thing is when I’m upset on something, it’s not a thing that piles up.<ee> <es>In an instant, the anger barometer is all fills up and there’s literally zero room for me to realise what’s going on with my mind.<ee> <es>And the last thing that comes to my mind to “breathe, think about birds or *chillax*’ It’s not like a avalanche grows in size gradually.<ee> <es>A full size avalanche sits on top me in an instant. <ee> <rs>So instead of generic google search result methods, what is it you do different and works for yourself?<re> <rs>What do you suggest?<re> <rs>Do I really start boxing?<re> I’m not even interested in it and I have glasses :(
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your anger outbursts
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
f0feel
|
Coping with trauma
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
What are some things you have done to cope with your trauma from your rape? The bad and the good .
|
Mslioness
| 1
| 0
| 9
|
2020-02-07 19:24:08
|
rapecounseling
|
<rs>What are some things you have done to cope with your trauma from your rape?<re> <rs>The bad and the good .<re>
| 0
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 2
|
f0mw5s
|
Ever since I finished high school I’ve been waking up with anxiety attacks because of the future. I can’t function. I’m so scared. I need help.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I simply just cannot function in life, I want to give up so badly. I want to lay in my bed all day and just hide from this society. I don’t usually get anxiety in general but the anxiety is sometimes so intense that it’s difficult to get out of the house. Recently I’ve been trying to improve myself with baby steps (drink more water, making sure to take my meds everyday, brushing teeth twice a day, cleaning up the house, etc.) but I want to give up so bad.
My anxiety seems to be from the fact that I’m completely lost in life. I have no friends, no social life, I don’t talk to family, I haven’t gotten my drivers license yet, I’ve never been in a relationship or had sex, I have no plans for college/university and I never got a job either in the meantime. I feel like such a lowlife piece of garbage. Every time I look out the window from my house I see cars on the street and it makes me sad that I haven’t gotten my drivers license yet. I want to drive and explore my city and feel like an adult but my anxiety and depression prevents me from studying for the driving test. I also tried a dating app but I got ghosted, blocked and there wasn’t many people I was interested in. I just feel so hopeless. I want affection, I want to drive, I want to have a career, I want to have a life.
I don’t know what to do. I just feel so crippled mentally. I’m trying to do baby steps but it’s so difficult to even do that. How can I fix my anxiety?
|
-BoB-
| 1
| 0
| 14
|
2020-02-08 04:59:02
|
getting_over_it
|
<efs>I simply just cannot function in life, I want to give up so badly.<efe> <efs>I want to lay in my bed all day and just hide from this society.<efe> <es>I don’t usually get anxiety in general but the anxiety is sometimes so intense that it’s difficult to get out of the house.<ee> <es>Recently I’ve been trying to improve myself with baby steps (drink more water, making sure to take my meds everyday, brushing teeth twice a day, cleaning up the house, etc.) but I want to give up so bad. <ee> <es>My anxiety seems to be from the fact that I’m completely lost in life.<ee> <es>I have no friends, no social life, I don’t talk to family, I haven’t gotten my drivers license yet, I’ve never been in a relationship or had sex, I have no plans for college/university and I never got a job either in the meantime.<ee> <efs>I feel like such a lowlife piece of garbage.<efe> <efs>Every time I look out the window from my house I see cars on the street and it makes me sad that I haven’t gotten my drivers license yet.<efe> <rs>I want to drive and explore my city and feel like an adult but my anxiety and depression prevents me from studying for the driving test.<re> <es>I also tried a dating app but I got ghosted, blocked and there wasn’t many people I was interested in.<ee> <efs>I just feel so hopeless.<efe> <rs>I want affection, I want to drive, I want to have a career, I want to have a life. <re> <es>I don’t know what to do.<ee> <efs>I just feel so crippled mentally.<efe> <es>I’m trying to do baby steps but it’s so difficult to even do that.<ee> <rs>How can I fix my anxiety?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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emr3o3
|
Twenty-Four Hours a Day, 1.10
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0
|
chitchat
| 3
|
Thought
When we were drinking, most of us were full of pride and selfishness. We believed we could handle our own affairs, even though we were making a mess of our lives. We were very stubborn and didn't like to take advice. We resented being told what to do. Do us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into A.A., we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome drinking. Have I learned that there is power in humility?
Meditation
I will come to God in faith and He will give me a new way of life. This new way of life will alter my whole existence, the words I speak, and the influence I have. They will spring from the life within me. I see how important is the work of a person who has this new way of life. The words and the example of such a person can have a wide influence for good in the world.
Prayer
I pray that I may learn the principles of the good life. I pray that I may meditate upon them and work at them, because they are eternal.
|
Whtsox
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-10 13:44:59
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
Thought When we were drinking, most of us were full of pride and selfishness. We believed we could handle our own affairs, even though we were making a mess of our lives. We were very stubborn and didn't like to take advice. We resented being told what to do. Do us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into A.A., we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome drinking. Have I learned that there is power in humility? Meditation I will come to God in faith and He will give me a new way of life. This new way of life will alter my whole existence, the words I speak, and the influence I have. They will spring from the life within me. I see how important is the work of a person who has this new way of life. The words and the example of such a person can have a wide influence for good in the world. Prayer I pray that I may learn the principles of the good life. I pray that I may meditate upon them and work at them, because they are eternal.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
emkjwc
|
My addictions
|
1a
|
rant
| 3
|
The first time I got high was with this guy named Tim. Our realtionship was sex, weed and well more fucking sex. But God damn the weed was good. I was high through that summer and honestly cared less. It was beginning and end, I didn't care that it was destroying me. I didn't want to face reality.
Tim was also a drug addict who was 4 years sober from heroine and crack addiction. He actually needed weed to help his brain cope.
Were we toxic together? I don't know.
How old was he? Well I think he would be 25 ish now. I'm 21. He was 19 when I was 16.
I didn't know your last name, you had glasses, and where rail thin. No matter how I tried to feed you. You had blonde hair and scar marks. And you where my addiction. If i could find you again. I want to make things right. Start over and just be friends.
I haven't forgotten you. But something in me wants you to see the impact you made on me all those times pouring my heart and soul out. You are my first ever fucked up love. I may have been high as a kite Every time. But you gave me something more inside. Even if it was toxic.
The last time I saw you was a few months before you I left for a new life. I was in no way a good person.
I was in my darkest times of my addiction and you where there with me.
I want to also want to say I'm sorry to the girls I fucked over with my words. I can't remember your names. Or even what you look like. But Stephanie I want to apologize to you most of all. I knew some how Bryce was going to die that day. I didn't tell you, even as I talked to you. But I didn't want you worried about the death. He was on a fast road anyways. It wasn't your fault.
I have your picture some where. Packed away on a phone that I never use now. Along with dozens of other stupid stunts I photographed, did short videos of.
Mostly I hold to these memories now. And even to my own hold of things I'm not sure how to say.
I still struggle with my addiction. Even more so not to down a entire bottle of anti depressants every morning just so I can't remember the day.
To my rapist in the shitty dark months. Fuck you. You went off rumors and not facts.
I was too fucking depressed and wanted to die. So I tried one night taking three of my mother's heart pills and woke up groggy.
All those classes I skipped where to go find my next high.
My addiction wasn't just weed and what pills I could find. It was the emotions and hurt as well. I spent years making peace with it. It's still hard to.
I don't want to be sober. I don't want to have to tell people that drinking is the only way I cope when it becomes overwhelming. Or I game until my problems fall away for a while and I still feel pointless.
I'm not my addiction any more. But it still comes out in other forms. It doesn't help that I also have a mental handicap. But that craving to utterly destroy every one and thing around me is always under the surface no matter how many times I pull a face.
It's there. It's going to consume me. And at some point. If it doesnt. It's just gonna straight out kill me.
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badpandaunicorns
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2020-01-10 02:40:27
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addiction
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<es>The first time I got high was with this guy named Tim.<ee> <es>Our realtionship was sex, weed and well more fucking sex.<ee> But God damn the weed was good. <es>I was high through that summer and honestly cared less.<ee> <es>It was beginning and end, I didn't care that it was destroying me.<ee> <es>I didn't want to face reality. <ee> <es>Tim was also a drug addict who was 4 years sober from heroine and crack addiction.<ee> <es>He actually needed weed to help his brain cope. <ee> Were we toxic together? I don't know. How old was he? Well I think he would be 25 ish now. I'm 21. He was 19 when I was 16. I didn't know your last name, you had glasses, and where rail thin. No matter how I tried to feed you. You had blonde hair and scar marks. And you where my addiction. If i could find you again. I want to make things right. Start over and just be friends. I haven't forgotten you. But something in me wants you to see the impact you made on me all those times pouring my heart and soul out. <es>You are my first ever fucked up love.<ee> <es>I may have been high as a kite Every time.<ee> But you gave me something more inside. Even if it was toxic. <es>The last time I saw you was a few months before you I left for a new life.<ee> <es>I was in no way a good person. <ee> <es>I was in my darkest times of my addiction and you where there with me.<ee> <rs>I want to also want to say I'm sorry to the girls I fucked over with my words.<re> I can't remember your names. Or even what you look like. But Stephanie I want to apologize to you most of all. I knew some how Bryce was going to die that day. I didn't tell you, even as I talked to you. But I didn't want you worried about the death. He was on a fast road anyways. It wasn't your fault. I have your picture some where. Packed away on a phone that I never use now. Along with dozens of other stupid stunts I photographed, did short videos of. Mostly I hold to these memories now. And even to my own hold of things I'm not sure how to say. <es>I still struggle with my addiction.<ee> <es>Even more so not to down a entire bottle of anti depressants every morning just so I can't remember the day. <ee> To my rapist in the shitty dark months. Fuck you. You went off rumors and not facts. <es>I was too fucking depressed and wanted to die.<ee> <es>So I tried one night taking three of my mother's heart pills and woke up groggy. <ee> <es>All those classes I skipped where to go find my next high. <ee> <es>My addiction wasn't just weed and what pills I could find.<ee> <es>It was the emotions and hurt as well.<ee> <es>I spent years making peace with it.<ee> <es>It's still hard to.<ee> <rs>I don't want to be sober.<re> <rs>I don't want to have to tell people that drinking is the only way I cope when it becomes overwhelming.<re> Or I game until my problems fall away for a while and I still feel pointless. <es>I'm not my addiction any more.<ee> <es>But it still comes out in other forms.<ee> <es>It doesn't help that I also have a mental handicap.<ee> <es>But that craving to utterly destroy every one and thing around me is always under the surface no matter how many times I pull a face. <ee> It's there. It's going to consume me. And at some point. If it doesnt. It's just gonna straight out kill me.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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How did X make you feel?
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your addictions
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ej2t24
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Advice would be appreciated!
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0
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help-seeking
| 2
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My boyfriend (20 yrs old) and I (19 yrs old) have been together for 6 months. We’re currently in a long distance relationship and things are going great! Thing is I do want to improve more to understand/help my boyfriend. Let me be more specific on what I want to improve on
1. Appreciation. I want him to feel more appreciated for who he is. I understand that having ADHD can feel like failure is a constant but I don’t see that in him. I tell him I love him for everything including ADHD, and thank him for whatever I can point out no matter how big or small. But I feel like there’s more I can do to show my appreciation but how?
2. Communication. I often ask him questions about the relationship or his mental well being and he sometimes responds with, “I don’t know”. I’m not sure if it is something I should be worried about or if there is something else I can do to understand him better.
3. Tiredness. Every now and then my boyfriend and I call in Discord and when it passes the 2 hour mark he gets drained from it. Is there a way I can prevent him from getting tired?
Please keep in mind that I’m still learning about ADHD so I might say things that can be offensive and I apologise if that’s the case. I just really want to understand my partner and make things better for the both of us if possible!
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SweepyBean
| 2
| 0
| 12
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2020-01-02 19:24:03
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ADHD
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My boyfriend (20 yrs old) and I (19 yrs old) have been together for 6 months. We’re currently in a long distance relationship and things are going great! Thing is I do want to improve more to understand/help my boyfriend. Let me be more specific on what I want to improve on 1. Appreciation. I want him to feel more appreciated for who he is. I understand that having ADHD can feel like failure is a constant but I don’t see that in him. I tell him I love him for everything including ADHD, and thank him for whatever I can point out no matter how big or small. But I feel like there’s more I can do to show my appreciation but how? 2. Communication. I often ask him questions about the relationship or his mental well being and he sometimes responds with, “I don’t know”. I’m not sure if it is something I should be worried about or if there is something else I can do to understand him better. 3. Tiredness. Every now and then my boyfriend and I call in Discord and when it passes the 2 hour mark he gets drained from it. Is there a way I can prevent him from getting tired? Please keep in mind that I’m still learning about ADHD so I might say things that can be offensive and I apologise if that’s the case. I just really want to understand my partner and make things better for the both of us if possible!
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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repeat
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| 0
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ej0xhl
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Repost:Teenage addiction/dependence ?
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1a
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help-seeking
| 3
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Repost: Teeenage drug addiction/dependence question.
Addictive personality/ High dependence ?
Am I Drug Dependent
Im posting this here because i don’t know where else to do so (I do not intend to undermine what anybody is going through by putting this here, sorry in advance for my naivety)
I’m 18 in a few months, doing really good in school as i always have and in the school week i’m happy and don’t really think about doing drugs. However, I’m on christmas break now and it’s only the first day yet im still trying to find some sort of fun, i know that the fun i’m looking for is in drugs.
I started smoking when i was 14 odd, since then i’ve inhaled lighter fluids, did some xans,mdma,coke,ket,speed,balloons etc. No, that’s not a flex, it’s so i can provide some context to my behaviour for anyone willing to give me some advice. I’ve never seen myself as an addict, but i’m completely aware that my behaviour isn’t exactly normal for a 17 year old. I don’t really know too many 17 year olds who get bored when they’re home alone so try to get a buzz off popping 10 co-cadamol pills and sniffing 2 more (:/ i know). Am i a drug addict? Ive had periods of smoking everyday for months but i don’t smoke anymore, but i’ll get cravings every now and then. I did xans on and off for a few weeks last summer and haven’t done them in over a year yet sometimes i’ll crave them too. I mean as i’m typing i’m literally so fucking bored i’m just wishing i was high on anything. This is my main point, im aware of poly-addiction but reading other peoples stories makes me feel like i’m obviously over exaggerating in my mind because i’m aware there are some teenagers who go through it 10x worse. Im just having cravings to get high on anything and seems I have done quite a few drugs for my age it’s as if there’s so many things for me to reminisce on and think i wish i was feeling that again. Ive done all of these drugs alone and at parties, ive lied about when ive used them, and have let them affect my mental health but the past month has been really positive but as soon as the holidays started (about 13 hours ago) im already bored and trying to seek a high.
Any advice is massively respected, sorry if this formats weirdly.
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fakemarx
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2020-01-02 17:10:16
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addiction
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Repost: Teeenage drug addiction/dependence question. Addictive personality/ High dependence ? Am I Drug Dependent Im posting this here because i don’t know where else to do so (I do not intend to undermine what anybody is going through by putting this here, sorry in advance for my naivety) I’m 18 in a few months, doing really good in school as i always have and in the school week i’m happy and don’t really think about doing drugs. <es>However, I’m on christmas break now and it’s only the first day yet im still trying to find some sort of fun, i know that the fun i’m looking for is in drugs.<ee> <es>I started smoking when i was 14 odd, since then i’ve inhaled lighter fluids, did some xans,mdma,coke,ket,speed,balloons etc.<ee> No, that’s not a flex, it’s so i can provide some context to my behaviour for anyone willing to give me some advice. I’ve never seen myself as an addict, but i’m completely aware that my behaviour isn’t exactly normal for a 17 year old. <es>I don’t really know too many 17 year olds who get bored when they’re home alone so try to get a buzz off popping 10 co-cadamol pills and sniffing 2 more (:/ i know).<ee> <rs>Am i a drug addict?<re> <es>Ive had periods of smoking everyday for months but i don’t smoke anymore, but i’ll get cravings every now and then.<ee> <es>I did xans on and off for a few weeks last summer and haven’t done them in over a year yet sometimes i’ll crave them too.<ee> <es>I mean as i’m typing i’m literally so fucking bored i’m just wishing i was high on anything.<ee> This is my main point, im aware of poly-addiction but reading other peoples stories makes me feel like i’m obviously over exaggerating in my mind because i’m aware there are some teenagers who go through it 10x worse. <es>Im just having cravings to get high on anything and seems I have done quite a few drugs for my age it’s as if there’s so many things for me to reminisce on and think i wish i was feeling that again.<ee> <es>Ive done all of these drugs alone and at parties, ive lied about when ive used them, and have let them affect my mental health but the past month has been really positive but as soon as the holidays started (about 13 hours ago) im already bored and trying to seek a high.<ee> Any advice is massively respected, sorry if this formats weirdly.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
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consuming drugs
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are having excessive craving for drugs
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| 200
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eianod
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Not knowing how to be happy
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1a
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rant
| 1
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I’ve noticed a large factor of my depression cycles is not knowing what it’s like to be happy/content. At the moment I like to think I’m happy or content but if I slow down and ask myself if I’m happy I don’t have a straight forward answer but the worlds not gray like it usually is and I feel like I have some meaning so I’ll try to just accept it as being happy. Just needed to put that out there, hope everyone has a good/better day.
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JangoTheMerc
| 1
| 0
| 2
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2019-12-31 23:32:22
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depression
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I’ve noticed a large factor of my depression cycles is not knowing what it’s like to be happy/content. At the moment I like to think I’m happy or content but if I slow down and ask myself if I’m happy I don’t have a straight forward answer but the worlds not gray like it usually is and I feel like I have some meaning so I’ll try to just accept it as being happy. Just needed to put that out there, hope everyone has a good/better day.
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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the cause of your depression cycles
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel during your depression cycle
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel not knowing how to be happy is a cause of your depression
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| 110
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eozftm
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Need help
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1
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I’m not really sure how to start this off, I’ve never been good at writing things. It always makes so much more sense in my head. I guess I’ll start with this.
I’m 24 years old & my life has been spiraling since about 2-3 years ago. How?
Within that time I’ve managed to total 3 cars, be convicted of 2 DUIs & fucked up numerous relationships.
I’m so tired of it, I just want to live a life that’s worth living.
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bonypoy
| 1
| 0
| 6
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2020-01-15 07:58:04
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alcoholicsanonymous
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I’m not really sure how to start this off, I’ve never been good at writing things. It always makes so much more sense in my head. I guess I’ll start with this. <es>I’m 24 years old & my life has been spiraling since about 2-3 years ago.<ee> How? <es>Within that time I’ve managed to total 3 cars, be convicted of 2 DUIs & fucked up numerous relationships.<ee> <efs>I’m so tired of it.<efe> <rs>I just want to live a life that’s worth living.<re>
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| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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the incidents in your life make you feel
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you live a better life
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| 211
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eisktd
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My boyfriend broke up with me because he can't deal with the emotional impact me being raped has had on him. How do I move forward?
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1
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*Me (22f), Him (23m)
*Been together for 2 and a half years
*He states he is emotionally unavailable
*He wants to have a break and focus on himself
*I feel like I have lost my bestfriend, my dignity & myself.
*I now feel like I'm reliving emotions I thought I had dealt with
*He still wants to keep in contact & doesn't want to lose me
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strawbsoya
| 1
| 0
| 3
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2020-01-02 03:27:05
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rapecounseling
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*Me (22f), Him (23m) *Been together for 2 and a half years *He states he is emotionally unavailable *He wants to have a break and focus on himself *I feel like I have lost my bestfriend, my dignity & myself. *I now feel like I'm reliving emotions I thought I had dealt with *He still wants to keep in contact & doesn't want to lose me
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| 2
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enr5tm
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Started outpatient therapy for my ptsd and schizoaffective disorder. Since I quit drinking a year ago, everything on the inside is a mess. I feel disgusted and angry all the time with multiple daily panic attacks.
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1a
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rant
| 1
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Its really hard to start this program. But I survived the first day. I feel by doing these groups, I'm indulging all my fears and I had one long panic attack the whole time. But I noticed some positives a few hours later. I set up my transportation for the 6 week program so I'm committing myself more so I dont run away from it. I need the hope that I will stop beating myself up and daily flashbacks too.
So far I've been keeping up an amazing attitude. But this program seems to expose all my weaknesses and it's hard to see the limit of my functioning. But hopefully by the end of the 6 weeks I will be more functional (I'm 33 years old) and will feel less disgusted in my skin all the time.
I'm really fearful of starting the new, so thanks for the space to vent and jot my feelings down
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bearsBscary
| 1
| 0
| 0
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2020-01-12 18:27:12
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mentalillness
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<es>Started outpatient therapy for my ptsd and schizoaffective disorder.<ee> <es>Since I quit drinking a year ago, everything on the inside is a mess.<ee> <efs>I feel disgusted and angry all the time with multiple daily panic attacks.<efe> Its really hard to start this program. But I survived the first day. <efs>I feel by doing these groups, I'm indulging all my fears and I had one long panic attack the whole time.<efe> But I noticed some positives a few hours later. I set up my transportation for the 6 week program so I'm committing myself more so I dont run away from it. I need the hope that I will stop beating myself up and daily flashbacks too. So far I've been keeping up an amazing attitude. <rs>But this program seems to expose all my weaknesses and it's hard to see the limit of my functioning.<re> <efs>But hopefully by the end of the 6 weeks I will be more functional (I'm 33 years old) and will feel less disgusted in my skin all the time. <efe> <efs><rs>I'm really fearful of starting the new, so thanks for the space to vent and jot my feelings down<efe><re>
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| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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| 222
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ej3crt
|
Dear Big Brother
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1b
|
rant
| 1
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Why? I always thought that you retained enough of yourself to at least care for our safety. I always felt like you were still in there. I guess I was wrong. I wish that I wasn't.
|
AliyaG
| 3
| 0
| 18
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2020-01-02 20:02:18
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addiction
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Why? I always thought that you retained enough of yourself to at least care for our safety. I always felt like you were still in there. I guess I was wrong. I wish that I wasn't.
| 0
| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
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eli1pl
|
please help
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1a
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help-seeking
| 2
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i’ve tried to kill myself so many times. all i’ve ever done is overdose and hang myself. pretty much failed all attempts. the next time i’m going to try, i’m going to jump off a cliff.
i’m really struggling. i’ve been struggling for so long. i had the perfect girlfriend. she was an angel. i looked after her and she looked after me. i cant bring myself to go through our story again. read through my post history if you must. i miss her so much. she broke up with me a few days ago. i haven’t been myself. i want to kill myself. i’ve stopped eating for a little over a week. i just miss her. she says if i get better, maybe we’ll get back together. all i want to do is kill myself. she was the only thing i was here for. i was so ready to get better, to be healthy for us both but then she ended it and i’ve been going fucking crazy. i nearly got sectioned today. i’ll probably get sectioned on friday or next tuesday. please please please can someone reach out to me who’s able to talk at any/most points throughout the day. the only person i used to talk to was my girlfriend. now i really have no one i can confide in. please message me.
if anyone has any stories of how they got through times like these, please let me know. i need anything to get me through. i just want her back. i just want to be better but it hurts so much. please help
|
nwaisou
| 1
| 0
| 22
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2020-01-07 21:26:37
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mentalillness
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<es>i’ve tried to kill myself so many times.<ee> <es>all i’ve ever done is overdose and hang myself.<ee> pretty much failed all attempts. the next time i’m going to try, i’m going to jump off a cliff. <es>i’m really struggling.<ee> <es>i’ve been struggling for so long.<ee> <es>i had the perfect girlfriend.<ee> she was an angel. i looked after her and she looked after me. i cant bring myself to go through our story again. read through my post history if you must. <es>i miss her so much.<ee> <es>she broke up with me a few days ago.<ee> <es>i haven’t been myself.<ee> <es>i want to kill myself.<ee> <es>i’ve stopped eating for a little over a week.<ee> <efs>i just miss her.<efe> she says if i get better, maybe we’ll get back together. all i want to do is kill myself. she was the only thing i was here for. <efs>i was so ready to get better, to be healthy for us both but then she ended it and i’ve been going fucking crazy.<efe> i nearly got sectioned today. i’ll probably get sectioned on friday or next tuesday. <rs>please please please can someone reach out to me who’s able to talk at any/most points throughout the day.<re> the only person i used to talk to was my girlfriend. now i really have no one i can confide in. <rs>please message me. <re> <rs>if anyone has any stories of how they got through times like these, please let me know.<re> <rs>i need anything to get me through.<re> <rs>i just want her back.<re> <efs>i just want to be better but it hurts so much.<efe> please help
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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suicidal
| true
| 222
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ekn1ev
|
Some kind of vulnerability confession??
|
1a
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rant
| 2
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Without spilling my big traumatic sob story (sexual abuse, suicide, addiction blah blah) in short my life has proven to me over and over again that no one can be trusted and everyone who can will be taken away. These days I live in a house with my incredibly supportive partner of 3 years and even though I am safe and have overcome all my family problems and have great relationships with them and by all means my life is better than ever I just can’t seem to mentally adjust. My Dad was put on trial for misunderstandings and now has a 12 month community service sentence but we thought he would be locked up. I think this brought back all my distrust of the world that I had been making progress to overcome. I am so scared that I have fallen back on all my defences and as a result have been getting angry at work, angry at my partner and just angry in general. I swear, yell and properly lose my shit on the regular at the moment. Yesterday I broke my right hand punching the wall, I’m a martial artist and have never done anything so dumb before, as I sit waiting for my x-ray results I’m realising how dysfunctional I have become. Especially I have emotionally hurt my partner so much, he feels I am unreliable and has no trust in me anymore. I have started meditating, and have booked in to seek professional help. I am so scared to be vulnerable as I’ve spent my whole life doing everything to be powerful and strong. I don’t even really know why I am posting here I just hope some people out there might think I’m not a monster as at the moment I feel like with all my attempts at recovery I am just too fucked and will never reach a normal level of mental health. I don’t understand how I am so weak and so angry at the same time. Sorry this wasn’t more cohesive and direct. Think I just needed to get it off my chest.
|
ioshajazz
| 1
| 0
| 2
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2020-01-06 02:05:16
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Anger
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<es>Without spilling my big traumatic sob story (sexual abuse, suicide, addiction blah blah) in short my life has proven to me over and over again that no one can be trusted and everyone who can will be taken away.<ee> <es>These days I live in a house with my incredibly supportive partner of 3 years and even though I am safe and have overcome all my family problems and have great relationships with them and by all means my life is better than ever I just can’t seem to mentally adjust.<ee> <es>My Dad was put on trial for misunderstandings and now has a 12 month community service sentence but we thought he would be locked up.<ee> <es>I think this brought back all my distrust of the world that I had been making progress to overcome.<ee> <es><efs>I am so scared that I have fallen back on all my defences and as a result have been getting angry at work, angry at my partner and just angry in general.<efe><ee> <es>I swear, yell and properly lose my shit on the regular at the moment.<ee> <es>Yesterday I broke my right hand punching the wall, I’m a martial artist and have never done anything so dumb before, as I sit waiting for my x-ray results I’m realising how dysfunctional I have become.<ee> <es>Especially I have emotionally hurt my partner so much, he feels I am unreliable and has no trust in me anymore.<ee> I have started meditating, and have booked in to seek professional help. <efs>I am so scared to be vulnerable as I’ve spent my whole life doing everything to be powerful and strong.<efe> <efs>I don’t even really know why I am posting here I just hope some people out there might think I’m not a monster as at the moment I feel like with all my attempts at recovery I am just too fucked and will never reach a normal level of mental health.<efe> <efs>I don’t understand how I am so weak and so angry at the same time.<efe> Sorry this wasn’t more cohesive and direct. Think I just needed to get it off my chest.
| 2
| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your anger is hurting you
| null | true
| 220
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eje652
|
How to kick social anxiety's butt?
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1a
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rant
| 2
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Hi Reddit!
I wanted to vent for a bit about my social shortcomings and that kind of jazz. This is because tomorrow I'm going to be moving countries in order to work on my Master's thesis. This is wildly exciting for me, because I love the research topic and can't wait for the change of environment. I also want to grab the opportunity to work on those shortcomings of mine. Being in a 'fresh' environment might give me a fresh state of mind, or so I'd like to think.
So I guess this feeling of anxiety I get from social situations is relatable to a lot of people. This cold hand squeezing your stomach at the very thought of it, mind racing. It sucks and even on good days it never really leaves you alone, pushing you towards being alone. And then when you actually give in to that feeling, you get this nagging, tiring thought in your head telling you you shouldn't be alone. You can't win!
Personally I have given in to this cold hand too many times. It has put a serious damper on my social skills. Looking back at earlier experiences, I think social skills are somewhat of a muscle. Use it often and it turns into a pair of big hunky biceps. Bunker up in your room and it withers away. Mine is currently a withered husk that really needs some life kicked into it.
What I noticed recently is how much my behavior differs between people I am very close with, and those with which I am not. Though I often make social mistakes, when it happens to those I am close with it doesn't really bother me that much. I can brush it off. However, when somebody who's presence I enjoy, but I don't feel super close with (e.g. collegues or friends of friends) I just can't be myself. All I manage to do at that point is smile and nod, agree with everything they say. I become the world's most boring vocal mirror. Even though I like to think I'm an interesting person, there's nothing interesting or funny that comes to mind when I speak to them.
That feeds into one of my biggest fears, which is a one-on-one with another person. Whenever I am faced with the prospect of having to spend an hour with somebody alone, this cold hand doesn't just squeeze... it swipes and screams. I actively go out of my way to avoid any such situation. I think it is a fear of disappointing the other person. Having an awkward silence, being berated, or them thinking I'm a strange idiot. This is the thing that affects my negatively affects my life the most. I can't for the life of me carry a good or interesting conversation.
I know I can change and turn this around. I just need some pushes in the right direction. If anything comes to mind that you think might help me out, please share it with me. A piece of advice, a book on the matter, a good song... Whatever it is, I want to give it a chance. I want to get over this silly brain block.
Thank you for reading!
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hithrowawayfriends
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2020-01-03 11:25:28
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socialanxiety
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Hi Reddit! I wanted to vent for a bit about my social shortcomings and that kind of jazz. This is because tomorrow I'm going to be moving countries in order to work on my Master's thesis. This is wildly exciting for me, because I love the research topic and can't wait for the change of environment. I also want to grab the opportunity to work on those shortcomings of mine. Being in a 'fresh' environment might give me a fresh state of mind, or so I'd like to think. <es>So I guess this feeling of anxiety I get from social situations is relatable to a lot of people. This cold hand squeezing your stomach at the very thought of it, mind racing. It sucks and even on good days it never really leaves you alone, pushing you towards being alone. And then when you actually give in to that feeling, you get this nagging, tiring thought in your head telling you you shouldn't be alone. You can't win!<ee> Personally I have given in to this cold hand too many times. <efs>It has put a serious damper on my social skills.<efe> Looking back at earlier experiences, I think social skills are somewhat of a muscle. Use it often and it turns into a pair of big hunky biceps. Bunker up in your room and it withers away. Mine is currently a withered husk that really needs some life kicked into it. <efs>What I noticed recently is how much my behavior differs between people I am very close with, and those with which I am not. Though I often make social mistakes, when it happens to those I am close with it doesn't really bother me that much. I can brush it off. However, when somebody who's presence I enjoy, but I don't feel super close with (e.g. collegues or friends of friends) I just can't be myself. All I manage to do at that point is smile and nod, agree with everything they say. I become the world's most boring vocal mirror. Even though I like to think I'm an interesting person, there's nothing interesting or funny that comes to mind when I speak to them.<efe> That feeds into one of my biggest fears, which is a one-on-one with another person. <efs>Whenever I am faced with the prospect of having to spend an hour with somebody alone, this cold hand doesn't just squeeze... it swipes and screams. I actively go out of my way to avoid any such situation. I think it is a fear of disappointing the other person. Having an awkward silence, being berated, or them thinking I'm a strange idiot. This is the thing that affects my negatively affects my life the most. I can't for the life of me carry a good or interesting conversation.<efe> I know I can change and turn this around. I just need some pushes in the right direction. If anything comes to mind that you think might help me out, please share it with me. <rs>A piece of advice, a book on the matter, a good song... Whatever it is, I want to give it a chance.<re> I want to get over this silly brain block. Thank you for reading!
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what help do you want
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ewrx0q
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I hope takilover gets raped again because she’s a no good bitch Who deserves that shit for undermining other victims
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1b
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rant
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GabbyMoon
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2020-01-31 17:40:14
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rapecounseling
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| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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random
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