A man from Whitechapel in East London has changed his Facebook avatar to a picture of Roger Moore as ‘The Saint’ after noticing that the octagenarian star was looking a bit frail.

Jed Kelly, 58, told us: “I noticed Roger was looking a bit two bob on the telly the other day, so I’ve changed my avatar in case he pegs out at some point in the not too distant future. I mean to say, it pays to be on the safe side doesn’t it? I don’t want to get caught out like I was when Grizzly Adams snuffed it.”

Mr Kelly, unemployed, has changed his avatar to a pic of a dead celebrity 157 times since he opened his account in 2001. “I’ve paid my respects to the lot,” he told us. “Mr Spock, David Bowie, Lemmy out of…

A thousand apologies for my tardy response dear boy. I’m afraid I was run over and killed by a steam roller in Gran Canaria. I’m now working as a tan-coloured doormat in an old people’s home. It’s what my mother would have wanted.