I recently came upon an interesting way to conceptualize the way we interact with reality.

It may be useful to refer to the idea of a black box to start with. In this instance we see what inputs come into the black box, and we see what outputs come out, but we are not aware of happens in between.

The pivot point lies in the fact that there is a similar flow of information through us. Reality imposes itself onto us (in some part influenced by our past actions) and thus gives us an input. Something happens inside of us and we execute an output.

The question lies in what is the difference, and the changes that have occurred between the input and the output.

We may observe that sometimes the input is quite similar to the output. Parents that have not processed their traumas/issues often transfer them to their children. Victims of trauma often become perpetrators of it themselves.

Break the Cycle.

But how do we do that? How do traumatized children not become traumatized parents that continue the suffering? How do we not react with hate when hate is thrown at us?

As I discussed in a previous article, I find it helpful to imagine our minds as mirrors, warped by our past, reflecting the inputs we are currently experiencing. Then based on these we (re)act. I am aware that this plays into the issue of free will, however that is a can of worms for another article. For the sake of argument we will simply assume that we have free will and that therefore we can alter what “passes through us” from input to output.

The question that is immediately eminent is “How?”.

The way that I understand the role and function of the mind is as a control center where various systems report on their progress and you then, based on this data base your output. We can liken this to a commander to whom various platoons are reporting, and he then responds with appropriate order. This, in my understanding, can be imagine as such.

Input/Reality > Systems in our unconscious > Outputs of systems in consciousness (what we experience, all of it)> Output/Our actions based on analysis of the contents of our mind.

This is of course an extreme simplification.

To stretch the analogy of the commander a bit further, we can imagine a scenario where the commander does not like what a platoon is reporting, he ignores it. Now the platoon leader will be alarmed by this response and pipe up, eventually even scream at the commander to open his damn ears. Acknowledgement of the report by the commander immediately informs the platoon leader that his statements have been registered in the ongoing plan. On the other hand it is also possible that the commander only listens to the reports of those platoon leaders that are giving him the news he wants to hear. Maybe he will even do both, actively seek out those bearers of good news, while avoiding those that bring bad, or undesirable news.

This is what happens within us. Systems ask for our attention, the more we avoid acknowledging, or focus on specific other more pleasurable “reports” the more we are warping the accuracy of our actions.

I would recommend reading Sun Tzu’s Art of war for a more detailed picture, if it is read in the context of relating to our minds in some of its statements. But for a rough picture we can simply say that a commander must listen to all equally, and then base his decisions while keeping all these, undesirable and desirable in mind. A bad commander who goes with the yes men and kills the no men goes the path of Hitler, ruin.

So at this point we can return to the original statement “Let it flow”.

When we try to look away, curse, or fear our anger, our fear, our anxiety, we inspire it to increase the intensity of its warnings, obviously we are not listening. These systems are often simply warning systems or serve a more concrete purpose. Our anger serves a purpose, so does our anxiety, and so does our fear. As we all know this can lead to a downward spiral. We feel anxious about feeling anxious. We feel angry at ourselves for feeling anger. We are afraid of our fear.

So the answer is to simply let these emotions be? To be a rock, by which all these emotions simply float by? I personally don’t find this helpful in my mind. This in itself still implies a resistance, a fear of what is happening. Rather than engaging with it we are simply keeping it at arms length. We are a river, and like this we are pretending to be a rock in the river, unmoved. This attitude however only increases your tolerance, it does not remove the issue, it is a band-aid. For you will break. No matter your force of will, if you are at war with the world and yourself, you can only lose. Then we experience the loss of control even more bitterly and it will crush us as we have build ourselves up as stoic rocks.

So what should we do? We cannot look away, we cannot crave, but we cannot simply let it be, flowing through us, without affecting us.

We look it straight in the eyes. We don’t just let it pass past us, but through us. Whenever we can we try to add what is at our hearts. When someone act with aggression, we can react (like a leaf in the wind), we can not react (like a rock), or you can act with kindness, taking the input, adding what is inside of you, and making a more beautiful output.

We must let it flow through us.

Relevant reading:

The Robot’s Rebellion by Keith Stanovich

The Art Of War by Sun Tzu

The Stories of the Buddha and Mara

The Mind Illuminated by Jeremy Graves and Matthew Immergut