A humorous view of politics, religion, human behavior, and insights toward everyday happenings by a single guy living in downtown Chicago.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

I'm a Gerbil

Today begins a huge, life-altering experiment in my household.

I’m turning off the television for one week.

I’ve decided to do this for several reasons, the main one being that my lifestyle has gotten pretty boring lately. My typical day goes like this:

Wake up to CNN.

Look at the weather report on the internet, shower, take a vitamin, go to work.

Eat a salad combo for lunch.

Neglect going to the gym after work.

Neglect going to the ice rink after work.

Go home, crawl under the comforter like a gerbil and watch TV for several hours.

Go to sleep with CNN on.

On Thursday nights, I go to choir rehearsal which has been pretty much the only variant. Let’s face it: When taking a vitamin is the highlight of one’s day, it’s time to re-evaluate your weekly itinerary.

When you think about it, I’m a pretty lucky guy and have done pretty well at keeping my life simple. I have no kids who have kiddy-activities that would impinge on my time. No spouse or pri-mate to concern myself with. No second job. So, just think of all the productive things I could do, even in my own apartment, instead of watching TV.

I could:

Make some more homemade laundry detergent. I love doing that.

Make healthy things to eat rather than shoving a Tombstone pizza in the oven.

Go run on the treadmill in the new gym facility in my building.

Download some really cool music to listen to while running on the treadmill.

Practice on the piano. I’ve often lamented the fact that I never became as good of a pianist as I could have been. Well, duh! Not when I’m watching four episodes of Judge Judy or stupid documentaries every day!Let’s compare the intrinsic value of the following two endeavors:1) Watching documentaries about Bigfoot2) Learning Beethoven’s "Waldstein" Sonata.

Write that Great American Novel. I have a wonderful idea for a comedy about a middle-aged guy who learns the Dvorak keyboard and falls in love with his high school typing teacher. The title is “Qwerty” A Heartwarming Story of Love, Self-Discovery, and Typing. (A Basset hound will be in there somewhere.) Of course, it will be a best-seller and will also be made into a huge Broadway musical. Doesn’t that sound like the name of a Broadway musical?Qwerty!Fame, riches, and awards, both Pulitzer and Tony, await.

And outside of my apartment, even more exciting things are there.

I’ve never been to Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo and I love zoos. I’ve lived here almost ten years and don’t even know where it is. Probably in the Lincoln Park neighborhood is my guess.

Get my butt on the ice rink before winter is gone. I’ve only been once this season.

Go to one of Chicago’s museums – like the one with the artwork in it. Never been there.

Actually going to the gym. I belong to this very nice gym with a membership very nicely subsidized by my employer – and I don’t go. Working out hurts and I make it a point to avoid pain. Why can’t I find a means of exercise that I enjoy? I’m sure the gym has something I don't find revolting, but I won’t know that if I’m gerbilized in my apartment every evening.