DEPR: Silent dropping of nuisance columns in agg_list_like
Part of #43740 

- [x] tests added / passed
- [x] Ensure all linting tests pass, see [here](https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/dev/development/contributing_codebase.html#pre-commit) for how to run them
- [x] whatsnew entry

can you rebase thanks @rhshadrach very nice.

