BUG: Retain index when merging on an index
- [x] closes #57291
- [x] [Tests added and passed](https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/dev/development/contributing_codebase.html#writing-tests) if fixing a bug or adding a new feature
- [x] All [code checks passed](https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/dev/development/contributing_codebase.html#pre-commit).
- [x] Added [type annotations](https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/dev/development/contributing_codebase.html#type-hints) to new arguments/methods/functions.
- [x] Added an entry in the latest `doc/source/whatsnew/v3.0.0.rst` file if fixing a bug or adding a new feature.

Since `join` uses a `merge` internally, changing the index returned by `merge` would cause problems for `join`. To prevent this, I introduced a new argument that would control which index is returned by a merge operation. I also separated out the logic that determined what index to use from the code that created the indexers. Not sure this was the best way to fix this; apologies if I bit off more than I could chew.
This pull request is stale because it has been open for thirty days with no activity. Please [update](https://pandas.pydata.org/pandas-docs/stable/development/contributing.html#updating-your-pull-request) and respond to this comment if you're still interested in working on this. Thanks for the pull request, but it appears to have gone stale. If interested in continuing, please merge in the main branch, address any review comments and/or failing tests, and we can reopen.