BUG: DataFrame.apply with func altering row in-place
closes #35462
closes #35634 

- [x] tests added / passed
- [x] passes `black pandas`
- [x] passes `git diff upstream/master -u -- "*.py" | flake8 --diff`
- [x] whatsnew entry

#35634 is another example  This does not address  #35517 or #35518 thanks @jbrockmendel  @meeseeksdev backport 1.1.x