Revert "STYLE use pandas-dev-flaker (#40906)
So, #40906 consolidated a bunch of custom checks into a flake8 extension

As it stands, flake8 is the slowest pre-commit hook we have (even without the extension - see [timings](https://github.com/pandas-dev/pandas/pull/50518#issuecomment-1368265690))

In https://github.com/pandas-dev/pandas/pull/50160, Joris tried adding ruff, which would more than an order of magnitude faster (!), and has more checks. Several projects are moving towards it

So, I suggest we revert #40906 , so that we can rip out flake8 and can replace it with `ruff` without losing the custom checks

This is mostly a pure revert of #40906, with some adjustments for things which have since changed

I removed the `import pandas.core.common as com` one, as that one was `noqa`'d in a few places anyway (if the check isn't a flake8 extension, then it's not so easy to turn off the check, we it's done for a whole file) and doesn't seem too important anyway

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Overall, I think that this + the ruff PR would be a big improvement to developer workflow. It would mean more hooks (for now, maybe then can be consolidated anyway), but they would run a lot faster. And I'd expect the speed of the checks to matter much more to developer workflow than the speed of them
thanks - merging to clear the queue then, the only failures are the sqlalchemy ones, which hopefully #50580 will address