 standing there starring at the rowdy teens. That door smashed straight into her disapproving face. She never even lifted a hand to stop it. Next thing I know I’ve given this elderly lady a bloody nose. Who just stands there and lets a door smash them in the face?!
Obviously I immediately freaked out and jerked the door open to say, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Ma’am. Are you alright?”
She said, “Get away from me you… you… beast!”
I said, “I’m so sorry. I thought you had decided not to go in after all…”
She started digging through her purse and pulled out a tissue to wipe the blood off her nose. Then she stamped her foot and said, “Just get away from me you white-trash, welfare, ghetto beast.”
So I stepped back outside with one of the clerks. I was still quite shocked by the whole thing and said to the clerk, “I thought she had decided to go back to her car. I mean I had been standing there a long time.”
The clerk said, “I know you did. I was standing there wishing you two would close the door and quit letting all the cold air inside. I wouldn’t worry about it. She’s a real bitch.”
So there I stood… after a lifetime of respecting and honoring older people, I had just given an old woman a bloody nose. I was momentarily rooted to the spot, but after a few moments of consideration I did what any white-trash, welfare, ghetto beast would do in that situation… I grabbed my tomatoes and went home. I mean who does she think she is that people should just stand around and hold the door for her all night, anyway?
Wow. Her reaction would make me want to let the door hit her again. Not that I would, but it would be tempting…
Now Hedon…She may have been angry because when you let the door go it knocked what brains she had left out.
And here I thought this post was going to be about Maggie having a Fernando moment.
What a head case. And, very honestly, she might be in the first stages of some kind of dementia, with the slowed reactions and no edit function over her speech.
That said, she was a jerk and this was an accident. Hope the episode did not ruin the taco dinner.
Cheers.
PS: “white trash, welfare, ghetto beast.” That’s so weird. What a sad person.
seriously,girls….it’s time to get back to work…..and quit knockin down little old ladies in the 7-11!!!…… this was so funny!!
I was in the line at the dollar store one day, and an older woman was standing beside me. She turned around, I was standing still, and she bumped right into me, knocked everything down that I was carrying, and then starting yelling at me because a) she hurt her hip on whatever I was carrying, and b) I was in the way…I was in the freaking line! And I felt so terrible and so angry all at the same time….
she said that because she is the Wicked Troll Queen, who is jealous of the charming Truck Contessas …er “mutiple x Contessa” I dunno the plural.
(notice I did not use the Princess word)
lol
an seriously… I totally dislike what she said. You girls are class acts for sure.
white trash, welfare, ghetto beast.. my new punk band yay( i am the WORLDS oldest punker yanno!)
I have to admit at first I was a little upset with myself but the more I thought about the whole situation the more funny it became. Now it’s quickly becoming a great insult to fling at each other around the Hagstead a la:
“Stace did you wash my dark jeans?”
“Not yet.”
“Damn it, you white-trash welfare ghetto beast, you know those are my favorite jeans.”
Belledog, it did not in fact ruin the taco dinner which was spectacular even though we now make them with ground turkey, low-carb whole-grain shells, fat-free refried beans, 2% cheese and a ton more veggies in each taco than we used to use. It took a long time to adjust but now I love “new and improved” taco night.
Ruth Anne, we’re working on it… slowly… but if anyone would understand why we needed a couple of months to recover I figure it’s you two.
Anna, it’s kinda funny isn’t it because you know you didn’t do anything wrong but still there’s that moment of feeling like you disrespected your elders somehow.
L, heh heh! Actually, I prefer ‘Uber-Trucking-Stud-King-of-the-Known-Universe’ but Stace refuses to call me that without rolling her eyes which really ruins the whole effect.
I can live with anything since you so kindly refused to go the Princess route… thanks!
Punxxi, glad to be of service.
just out of curiosity, how can something be “new and improved”?
Don’t call your mother out for being redundant. It’s part of what of makes her so wonderfully wonderful.
Now you know…you could work that into a personalized lic. plate “UTSK*U” and just put a symbol or so in there to stand for “Of The Known”
And I think it would be appropriate and legal to claim it for a Business T-shirt too. By the way, you can go around singing “I am the UTSKU (“oot -Skuu”) ain’t that coool, yeah I am the UTSKU!!!”
Ok I really like “I am the UTSKU” and think maybe I’ll make it my new theme song.
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