’s your favorite show ring memory?
Coffey: Winning at the Christmas In July show this year!
WHR: What do you want to be (professionally) when you grow up?
Coffey: I want to be a car engineer.
WHR: What’s something you’d like to learn to do?
Coffey: I would like to learn how to ski.
WHR: Who is a person you admire and why?
Coffey: I admire my dad. He takes care of us and our farm and he always makes me feel confident when I show.
WHR: What’s something you’d share as a piece of advice to someone new to the horse show world?
Coffey: You have to practice a lot if you want to become good.
WHR: What is one of your goals for the upcoming year?
Coffey: To show in the Big Oval!
WHR: What’s something about you that your horse friends might be surprised to learn?
Coffey: My family owns cows.
WHR: What’s a motto or philosophy in life that you try to live by?
Coffey: Always be confident.
WHR: If you could have dinner with someone famous, who would it be and where would you eat?
Coffey: Donald Trump. I’d go to a seafood buffet, I’d eat crab legs and I’d pick him by asking him lots of questions to find out what it’s like to be President.
WHR: If you could have picked one more question for me to ask you, what would it be? And what would your answer to the question be?
Coffey: If you had asked me what I like the most at school I would tell you my favorite subject is science.Today, I’m going to post some questions I’ve been asked, either by email or elsewhere. I’m not going to post my answers, because I would really like to know what you think. Please help me answer these questions.
Q1. My DVD player broke recently, just after the warranty expired. I want to go buy a new one and then put the broken one in the box to return. Do you think that’s wrong?
Q2. My wife and I fight about money constantly. She doesn’t see the point in saving, when she can use the money to be happy right now. I want to retire early. How can I show her she’s wrong?
Q3. I know I should start bringing lunch to work, but I need to network with my coworkers and supervisors to advance my career. How can I balance that?
Like I said, I’m not going to answer these questions until you, my readers, have had a chance to weigh in. I know what my knee-jerk response is, and I know that none of these questions are as simple as they first appear. What’s your take?
Everyone who gives a real answer to all three questions will be entered into a drawing for a $20 Amazon gift card. Just leave a comment with all three answers and you’ll be entered. How’s that for a bribe? I’ll draw a name on Wednesday. That way, you can use the money to either celebrate or mourn the election results.
Edit: I used random.org to do the drawing and the winner is….mbhunter! Congrats, email is sent.
Question 1 – Um, no, you shouldn’t do that.
Question 2 – I think maybe you are going to need to try a different strategy. Instead of trying to show your wife how she is wrong, start by trying to see her point of view. Get together, maybe with a bottle of wine, and look at your current situation: all income, all debts and bills, etc. Then ask her what she wants in a year, in five years, in ten years. Share your goals with her. You might be surprised at how much you learn from this exercise! Then, figure out a way to accomplish much of both sets of goals. This is going to require some compromise on both parts but it should work if you work on it together. If you can’t seem to find any common ground, you might want to talk to a financial counselor.
Question 3 – How about starting small, by taking your lunch one or two days a week? Depending on your relationship with your coworkers, they might like to join you around the breakroom table with your homemade lunches. It seems unlikely that you are getting networking value out of 20 lunches a month, and you might be able to accomplish the same thing with half as many lunches out.
1. I agree you shouldn’t do that, but the answer is less clear-cut when it’s just a day or two after the warranty. Who’s stealing from whom at that point?
Q1. No, that would be theft. It’s also not honorable. I wouldn’t suggest it.
Q2. First you have to realize that she’s not wrong – she’s just not working on the same goal as you. I would try to sit down and logically talk out your future plans together. Where does she want to be in retirement? Does she agree with and respect your goal for early retirement? If you two can work out mutual goals, you can also work out a compromise. Mr. BFS and I have fun money accounts that get $125 a month. He and I know we can spend that on whatever we want and use the majority of our money to save for our mutual goal of retirement by age 52.
Q3. I would suggest eating with your coworkers 2-3 times a week and bringing your lunch the other times. I was in a similar position and once my coworkers saw me bringing lunch, some of them did too. We ended up eating out 2-3 times a week and eating leftovers together the rest of the time. It was fun. Now my department has been shrunk to just me and one other person, so I just bring lunch every day…
Q1: It’s worth a shot! There are a number of retailers out there that will let you return things if they turn out to be below your expectations. Even if they don’t give you cash back, they may give you store credit. I’ve returned many things in the recent year because they ended up being a poor product or they just didn’t work out (cat litter, cat food, squirrel repellent, a coffee grinder, shampoo, you name it!). Worst thing they can say is no. Could they say ‘yes?’ Absolutely! But you will never know until you ask.
Q2: Getting on the same page financially with your spouse is not a matter of right or wrong, it’s a matter of communication and compromise. She deserves a reasonable explanation as to why you want to save and how you’d like to go about saving money. Likewise, YOU deserve a reasonsable explanation from her as to why she thinks spending all your money now and saving nothing okay. Talk it out. Make sure each side understands, and then try to meet in the middle (compromise).
Q3: It’s hard to say without knowing the entire story. Are the coworkers always eating out for lunch and therefore you feel pressured to go with them to socialize? My suggestion: speak through your work. If you want to advance your career, you should do your job and do it well. Show up early, meet your deadlines, and do your job right the first time. You may also express to your coworkers/supervisors to work WITH them on certain projects and/or take on some of their projects. Either way, doing these things will show them you take your job seriously.
Q1: Yes, that is wrong.
Q2: Your first problem is thinking your wife is wrong. To her, she you’re the one that is wrong. Different people have different ideas of what money is for and how it should be used. You’ve got to talk (not yell and fight) with her and see if you can get an idea of where she’s coming from and also try to explain (calmly) where you’re coming from.
Q3: Sure, you need to socialize with them. But, not at the risk of your savings/finances. See if you can’t break it up a little. Go with for lunch twice a week and brown bag it the rest of the week and just socialize at the water cooler. Or, see if you can’t get your coworkers to bring their lunches too!
#1 Yes, it’s wrong. It’s dishonest, deceptive, and it’s considered stealing.
You can get a DVD player pretty cheap, but if the one you want is more than you can afford to pay cash for, then save up for a few months to get it. Maybe even treat yourself to a better model as a reward for doing the right thing!
#2 Try to meet her halfway. It’s not really that she’s wrong…she just has different goals than you. A good compromise is to set goals for saving, and then celebrate meeting those goals by spending on something that she likes.
You guys have to talk at a time when your goals are not clashing (like when you’re at the mall or something) and get on the same page.
#3 Start gradually. Bring your lunch for 2 or 3 days each week at first. You might get them to change their lunchtime habits in the process!
1) Yeah, it’s wrong. Call the manufacturer or check their website and see if there