 white hoodie at the laundromat, an old blind woman tells him to use seltzer or, you know, wear red. Duh. Wade sews himself a new, red costume, and busts up an underground boxing ring. That costume muffles his voice, so he makes another costume. This one's a keeper, and we see—as the Deadpool we recognize—beat up several more bad dudes (and dudettes) all in the name of finding Francis. He even kills one guy, very slowly, using a Zamboni.
Finally, Deadpool tracks down the recruiter. He tries to make a run for it, but Deadpool catches him. The recruiter says he knows exactly where Francis is. Deadpool still tortures the recruiter first, although he kindly turns the camera away so we can't see the carnage. What a gentleman.
Cut to Deadpool running for a cab. Hey, it's Dopinder! Looks like we're back where this whole story started, before the massive collision and Colossus showing up. Wait, are we moving in a circle?
It's like Deadpool reads our mind. "And we all know how this turned out," he says, and we fast forward, VHS-tape-style, to the present, i.e., Deadpool in the back of the garbage truck.
 He lives in with the old blind lady from the laundromat, Blind Al. We cut away to the laundromat flashback again, and Deadpool speaks, pointing out that he's now breaking the fourth wall inside a breaking of the fourth wall. That's, like, 16 walls.
Blind Al's building a bookshelf from IKEA, and she and Deadpool launch into a big discussion about IKEA shelves. They both give each other a hard time. She's happy to be blind so she'll never have to see the pair of Crocs he slips into when he gets home, for example.
Al finishes her shelf and collapses into the armchair. Deadpool lies on the floor. They're both tired and irritable.
 Deadpool explains that he's having a bad day because Francis got away, and Francis is the only one who can fix his face so Vanessa will get back together with him. Then, with a fart, he leaves, presumably for his bedroom. Classy.
Cut to Ajax on his motorcycle. He arrives at what looks like testing facility 2.0, just as a handful of what must be super-slaves are being collared, sedated, and packed into crates.
Ajax tells Angel Dust that he knows who the mystery man in the red suit is. While she patches up his chest wound, he explains that he's going to get rid of Deadpool once and for all. Deadpool can't heal himself if there's nothing to heal. Okay, then.
Back at Deadpool and Blind Al's apartment, Blind Al tells Deadpool he needs to find Vanessa and tell her how her feels. Looks don't matter; she won't care. Love is blind. No, Big Al's blind, Deadpool points out.
Weasel's behind the bar at Sister Margaret's when Ajax and Angel Dust roll in. They want to know where Wade Wilson is. Weasel says he doesn't know that name. Angel Dust spots the photo of Wade and Vanessa tacked up behind the bar. Whoops.
Angel Dust grabs Weasel in a chokehold, lifts him up, and pins him to the wall. Every patron in the bar draws his gun and points it at her. Also whoops.
Ajax tells Angel Dust to put Weasel down. Now that they know who Vanessa is, they have everything they need. As soon as they leave, Weasel calls Wade to let him know they have a massive problem, and by "they" he means "Wade."
Cut to Wade and Weasel walking down the street. Wade's half-afraid and half-angry because he's on his way to talk to Vanessa. He's "afrangy."
Wade and Weasel enter a strip club. He needs to find Vanessa before Ajax does, and they take a lap. Weasel promptly gets distracted by a woman.
Stan Lee cameo alert! That's him announcing the next performer, Chastity.
Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee has made a cameo in almost every Marvel film.
Wade sees Vanessa. She's a waitress. He walks up right behind her but chickens out and heads for the men's room. She looks like she just caught a chill or sensed a ghost or realized she may've left the curling iron this morning.
In the bathroom, Wade splashes water on his face and gives himself a pep talk of sorts. "This isn't about me; this is about Vanessa," he says. What a novel thought.
Vanessa's manager tells her that there's someone out back looking for; something about an old boyfriend. She looks alarmed and heads out into the alley, where it's pouring rain. She sees a hooded figure leaning against the wall. She says she knew it was Wade.
It's not Wade. It's Ajax. He tells her that she has Wade Wilson to thank for this, and then Angel Dust knocks her out.
Back in the strip club, Wade finds Weasel who says he saw Vanessa go out back. Wade heads for the alley and finds Vanessa's bag. He's enraged.
He takes that rage straight home, and orders Weasel to help him pack up all the guns they can find. Blind Al helps, too. She was going to build another IKEA shelf tonight, but this is more interesting. After a brief argument about which shelf they agreed that she'd build, Wade has her turn over the gun in her sock, too.
Ajax texts Wade. If he wants Vanessa, he needs to meet Ajax at the scrapyard at noon.  Weasel says he'd go with Wade, but he doesn't want to.
Ajax and Angel Dust lead Vanessa across the shipyard, which is full of scrap and features a giant, decaying ship. Vanessa's hands are tied, and her mouth is covered in duct tape. When Angel Dust removes the tape, Vanessa wastes no time in insulting Ajax, who comments on how she's a talker, just like Wade.
Vanessa says they've got the wrong girl. Her ex-boyfriend is dead. Ajax says you'd think that, but he just keeps coming back—like a cockroach.
Then in classic movie villain mode, he explains his master plan: He (as in Ajax) may not be able to feel anything, but Wade does. They're going to see how he fights when Vanessa's head is on the block. Vanessa looks thoroughly confused.
Cut to the X-Men mansion. Negasonic Teenage Warhead answers the door. It's Deadpool. He wants her and Colossus to help him fight Ajax, especially on account of them letting him get away and all.
He also gets in a quick meta-jab about how funny it is that he only ever sees Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man. Well played, Deadpool. Well played.
Cut to Dopinder's cab; he's giving Deadpool, Colossus, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead a lift to the scrapyard. Deadpool mentions that Colossus agreed to help on the grounds that Deadpool would consider joining the X-Men—or, as Deadpool calls it, Colossus's boyband.
Deadpool wants to know how things are going with Dopinder and Gita, the love of his life that was stolen by his cousin Bandhu. Turns out Dopinder took Deadpool's advice, and he has Bandhu tied up in the trunk of his cab. He's going to gut him like a fish. Deadpool pretends to be horrified about this for the X-Men's sake, but whispers to Dopinder that he's proud of him.
Dopinder drops them off at the shipyard, and they make a dramatic walk on to the scene backed by DMX's "X Gon' Give It to Ya." Then Deadpool realizes he left his bag full of guns and ammo in Dopinder's cab. D'oh.
Flash to Dopinder crashing the car. Deadpool's going to have to do this the old-fashioned way, with just the weapons he has on him—and, of course, "maximum effort."
Ajax, Angel Dust, and a squad of armed men meet Deadpool and his partners. Angel Dust hits Colossus and sends him flying. That's a surprise. Time to see what Negasonic Teenage Warhead can do…as soon as she finishes her sour-faced tweet.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead tosses her phone, takes off running toward Angel Dust, surrounds herself with a ball of energy, and sends Angel Dust flying. It's game on, y'all.
Ajax's henchmen open fire. Angel Dust and Colossus go toe to toe. Deadpool removes his underwear and waves the white flag, so to speak.
The henchmen stop firing. Deadpool offers them the chance to surrender. They start firing again. Fight's totally back on.
Deadpool emerges from behind cover and does his thing. Lots of acrobatic swordplay and flying knives as he cuts his way, often literally, through the heavily armed henchmen. Colossus and