.”

“And what is it I want?”

“Why James, you want to be your friend Chet Clark.” 

This man was not human. No, Tanas was not some coincidental name. And that suit was not some cute gimmick that this man liked to accompany his name. This man was the Lord of Lies. The fallen angel. Lucifer. 

“Show me the gun. Allow me to hold it, feel it, let me touch the death that rests inside of its cold steel. Then turn the pistol on yourself and pull the trigger. Right here in this cab. If you do that James Hoyt, then you will become Chet. His very likeness. His embodiment.  You will become him James, but first, you must end your life before ending his.” He stared into my soul. His eyes were now on fire with life, not just flickering. Everything about those eyes screamed death, agony, eternal damnation, and yet, I was drawn to him. Those eyes captivated me. His presence ensnared me. I wanted to please him, and his offer was meant only to please me, he was selfless.

“I would become him?” I asked.

“His very flesh and blood.”

“And all I need do is show you my pistol and then shoot myself?”

“You were going to shoot yourself anyway weren’t you James? Why deviate far from the plan? Shoot yourself and instead of death, you’ll experience life as you’ve never seen it.”

It was too good to be true. A gift had just fallen into my lap. The fruit that I had once held before it became black and turned to dust, was now right in front of my face, its juices still oozing out of its sides, just waiting to be plucked. To become Chet. To realize the life that I could have had! That I would have had! That I should have had! 

But there was a small voice in my head. A voice so quiet that trying to listen to it was like trying to hear a pin drop in front of a jet engine. But it was there. It was saying something. Something that I needed to hear. But there was a much louder voice too. And that voice was screaming, ‘FINALLY! JUSTICE! RETRIBUTION!’ 

I reached into my pocket and touched the pistol. It was cold. Smooth. I stroked the short barrell with my index finger. “Why do you need to see my gun first?” I asked the Devil. 

“I must see it, James. Show me it. Allow me to see the hatred within it. The eagerness to kill. The willingness to obey and sacrifice. Let me hold the part of you that is truly evil. That has risen above everything else in your life. Let me taste your sinister soul.” He spoke so eloquently. So flawlessly. Words came out of his mouth like water out of a faucet; just a constant flow of truth. And yet, that quiet voice seemed to be growing louder. ‘Not a faucet,’ said the voice, ‘but a snake!’ No! The voice was wrong! This was everything I have ever wanted. Accepting this deal meant eternal happiness. It meant I achieved my destiny. It was the very reason I was put on this earth! 

I pulled the gun out of my pocket. Once again, I marveled at how heavy it was. I held it close to my chest at first. But slowly I extended my arm to hand it to the Devil. Each inch closer that my hand moved, the gun seemed to get heavier. My arm began sinking towards the ground. The gun must have weighed 25 pounds now, but my hand still slowly moved to Satan’s warm presence.

“STOP!” the small voice was screaming now, “STOP! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP NOW!” I ignored it. Where is that voice coming from? It can’t be within. How can a part of me want something different? I am so close to becoming everything I ever wanted to be, aren’t I? “NO!” the voice screamed again, “NO! THIS IS NOT THE WAY!” I was scared now. The hand was barely hovering above the taxi’s leather seats. The gun was too heavy. It pulled my arm down so far. It was sapping every inch of my strength just to hold it in place. But the Devil just sat there, watching me struggle. He was waiting for my will to take over and force my evil into his hands. 

“GIVE IT TO HIM!” the other voice in my head screamed, “GIVE HIM THE GUN AND WE WILL BE HAPPY!” It was still louder than the smaller one, but not by much now. “GO NOW! MOVE YOUR ARM, PLACE THE PISTOL INTO OUR LORD’S HANDS!” The gun was all of a sudden easier to move. I stretched out my hand with the newfound strength that the second voice had given me. This is what I want. And my Master is waiting patiently. 

“JAMES. STOP.  YOU WON’T BE HAPPY LIKE THIS. YOU HAD A CHANCE AT SUCCESS.  AND IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT EITHER.     THIS IS NOT THE WAY.” And with that the voices disappeared. My head was silent. I was sitting in the back of a taxi with the Devil. The seats were black leather and it was dusk outside. There was a gun in my hand. It was abnormally heavy and closer to the Devil’s body than mine. I needed only to reach out and place it in his lap.

Just place it. 

No. I knew that instant what I must do. I drew my hand back as if I had just been burnt. 

“What are you doing James?” The Devil asked. 
I lifted the gun and pointed it in between the Devil’s eyes. My hand wasn’t shaking. The gun wasn’t heavy. I was so longer scared, just intently focused and sure of my cause. “I’m killing you.” The taxi driver no longer seemed to be paying attention. Maybe he was seeing something else. 

“You know who I am James, shooting me will do nothing. I am merely an apparition. I am your evil personified, James.”

“I am not evil.” I said defiantly

“Aren’t you? You bought that gun did you not? You played through a hundred different scenarios in your mind where you shoot the man that you are envious of, didn’t you? And you are not evil? Come James, succumb to that spite, and hand me the gun.  You have two bullets. Save one for Chet, James. Shooting me is like shooting your own reflection.”

I looked the Devil in the eye. I saw the fires of hell burning and flashing. I saw lost souls screaming from unimaginable pain and suffering. I saw despair. Torture. Evil. “Well then, Larry. I guess I only have two bullets, and both of them are for me.”Here are some statements that I found surprising but are true the vast majority of CIS men as far as I can tell.

Cis men don't want to have boobs.

Most don't want to look like a woman.

They don't want to be treated like a woman

The masculine features don't make them uncomfortable.



The idea of taking even one estrogen pill is completely repulsive and abhorrent, starting a hormone regimen would sound like signing up to be the main character in a horror movie to them.

I don't know if any of these statements resonate with you but I thought I'd say them anyway good luck and I hope you get what you need whatever that isMedia articles and project videos that featured and explained Breathe during its development.
Two public events were held at City Hall to share the highlights of the draft Breathe Strategy where a presentation was delivered at each event. Copies of the draft strategy were available for review and input and project team members were present to discuss the project and answer questions to the 177 people who attended.
Learn about the 10 Strategic Directions that guided policy development leading to the completion of the draft Breathe Strategy.
Learn what the Breathe project aims to accomplish. This video will take you through the three overarching themes (Celebration, Wellness and Ecology) that help us frame how we think about the green network.
Throughout the project, 47 engagement events were held to connect with communities on their ideas about our parks and open space system. Through these opportunities, 1200 people engaged in discussions about the city’s open space system and 2500 people were engaged through online surveys. Breathe’s engagement approach of “going where the people are,” led team members to 11 festivals throughout the summer months where valuable public input was received.
Check out the article "Breathe, Edmonton — city to release green space vision," written by Jeremy Simes where he interviewed Breathe's project manager Geoff Smith to discuss the release of the draft Strategy. In the article, Geoff explains that the plan is more than just a ‘parks plan,’ and how it is essentially a ‘land management tool’ that looks how Edmonton parks are being used and what improvements can be made as the city grows rapidly over the next few decades.
Check out the feature “Room to breathe...Edmonton does things differently,” where Landscapes magazine explores Breathe and what sets the project apart from traditional planning practices. Breathe: Edmonton’s Green Network Strategy provides