 presentation today in Cupertino.
“The iDream will provide 1000 hours of full-motion, 7.1 Dolby surround dreams with the quality you expect from Apple, Pixar, and Disney,” CEO Steve Jobs said.
Furthering their success in making Mac OS X into an embedded operating system that can run a mobile phone, a wireless base station, and a media translation system, iDream ports the OS X into neurochemical structures in the human nervous system that mimic computer processors.
“With iDream, we have fulfilled our vision of bringing the best experience, with 7.1 Dolby surround sound, to the true center of our digital lives: the brain,” said Jobs.
Jobs detailed his long-held belief that the human brain provides a substandard user experience and that Apple was uniquely positioned to take a leadership position in this highly fractured market.
The iDream uses the wetware capacity of the brain to store up to 75 petabytes of information using the holographic, standing-wave structure of neuronic activity. Additional storage may be obtained by using the new BUID disk format to repartition a brain to store fewer unnecessary or unwanted memories – like that time you asked Kim Karcher if she wanted to go to the 9th grade dance and she laughed so hard Crystal Pepsi came out her nose – and by using thorough compression.
Jobs mentioned the movie Johnny Mnemonic as an example of this methodology, but no one in the audience would admit to having seen it, although several shuffled uncomfortably in their seats.
Apple expects to deliver iDream as a rapid-fire series of frightening images, static, and JavaScript via any WebKit-based browser and possibly later in the form of a red pill.
Hey I get to be number 1.
Two can be as bad as one, so I’ll be THREE too!
I rather be 69ing but I will take number one for now.
Now will iDream be in color or will that be a Rev. B upgrade?
Does this tutu look better with stilettos or sandals?
Can I make a late comment on the last article? Yes? Thanks.
Look at Enderle’s Wikipedia page. It’s true. He did get his tongue stuck on a pipe.
Shamelessly stolen from “Until the End of the World”.
Actually, I’ve never seen that. Maybe one of the other staff members has.
Wait. Don’t tell me. Let me guess. The music at the announcement was provided by R.E.M.
Rinse that off.
And, besides, this is really more stolen from an Apple press release about the iDream than anything else.
I mean, c’mon. It’s not even a rumor. I feel so cheap. It’s like we’re all MacNN all of a sudden instead of MacOSRumors.
Just so long as MS doesn’t try to rip it off. Can you imagine the realistic nightmares?
My Pants™ don’t like it. No, sir!
Those sandals and that tutu look horrific together.
Is that my ham sammich walking away?
You misspelled “thorough” in thorough compression.
Y’know, if Microsoft does steal it, the blue screen of death could get a lot uglier.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time. That should be enough to get you into Congress.
Thanks Huh?. The stilettos it is. Just want to be ready for the next iDream.
Now does the sexbot option mean iWetDreams?
Never buy a car from a squirrel with a lisp.
Aiiee! It’s Max Headroom in my head!
As american as  ∏! Hahahahaha! Get it?
That’s the quickest I’ve ever seen vandalism reverted.
Fess up…who’s the Wikipedia moderator?
Red pill? You mean for the charity version?
Isn’t Steve risking more legal action against Apple?
I thought the risk might be from the brainless. Those queueing at midnight to pick up Vista for example.
The MS version of this would be produced by “those people who should not be mentioned”, and free will would now only be within the parameters that are set for you. Free speech is now limited to those speeches that are downloaded into your brain daily.
And on the Apple version, can you imagine a kernel panic? And exactly how would you be “rebooted”? And I am sure that Steve will want to take that whole “form or function” thing to a new level.  You must now be seated, because that is a more elegant user interface.
That being said, if I can have a dream of 2, pre skank, 18 year old Brittany Spears have hot lesbian sex with each other, it might just be worth the risk.
Baby…hit me one more time!
1 pill, 2 pill, Red Pill, Blue Pill.
The Oakland Raiders new Coaching Hire will be from High School. Not a High School coach, but an actually guy from high school, the team manager guy who just carried all of the teams stuff around. Not that I am bitter or anything. I Just wish that Jobs would buy the team, and make them a more interesting team.
Anyway, the word of caution today is, never attempt to repelled angry mobs of cod, with rotten eggs and talking pomegranates. Unless of course you have large stocks of cod liver oil capsuals for the repealling guns, then you might stand a chance.
Time for bed now… so GOOD NIGHT NOW!
Would we have messages delievered through this?
I can’t imagine it would be good to have my dream of Jennifer freaking Connolly disturbed by an Evil Goat™.
Ah, so it’s Henry David Thoreau compression. Got it.
I’m waiting for the iWetDream.
With an iDream, I can finally dream of electric sheep!
Will there be a WiFi upgrade so we can have iDayDreams as we go past hotspots? But would that interfere with thoughts about Jennifer Freaking Connolly.
And put that goat down, it doesn’t know where you have been.
Oh god, yes … aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I can’t control myself now, what am I supposed to do with an iWetDream? Lock myself in my bedroom for the rest of my life, or get arrested for indecent acts in public?
System Preferences –> Network. Select the Neural tab.
Scroll down, between cortex and pons. Select Amygdala.
Just for fun, choose the Eros radio button, and note some of the choices in the resulting dialog box.
Flip vertical sounds fun. Manual activation sounds boring. I’ll stick with the default port assignment for now.
Has anyone clicked on the Advanced button yet?
I think the Advance button is reserved for those who have entered their Pilates or Yoga membership validation.
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When do you reveal your religion to sources?
Several years ago, I spent time with a Jehovah’s Witness family in Tennessee, hanging out with a mother and her children during home schooling, church services and door-to-door proselytizing. I didn’t tell the family about my faith, and I was relieved the subject never came up.
“I just know you’re going to become a Witness,” the mother told me. “And I know we’ll be great friends.” She suspected I was Jewish, and she was worried.
Most religion writers eventually encounter sources who believe their souls need saving or at least improving. And most have their own informal rules on when and how much to reveal about their own religious roots and deeply held beliefs.
I don’t rule out talking about my faith. But when sources inquire, I try to figure out why they care.
An evangelical Christian friend said to me recently, “We’re just curious.” But some sources are clearly trying to determine whether I need to be saved-and whether they need to step up their efforts during the course of an interview.
Some reporters think stating their religion with conviction is the best way to end the conversation.
I like that response because it helps ease the fears of a source who may feel the press tends to be dismissive of fundamentalist and evangelical Christians, and that it conveys the message that this may not be a good time to evangelize.
This kind of response is particularly valuable for reporters whose atheist or agnostic beliefs would elicit a strong reaction from some believers.
Another possibility is that sources want to see if they can trust me because we share a common heritage or set of beliefs-or distrust me if we don’t. Again, I avoid discussing my own tradition in such cases. I try to reassure people I know something about their religion and am concerned about conveying their point of view.
But with a name like Lieblich, many people just assume I’m Jewish. And some Muslims had to read several of my stories about Islam before they were comfortable talking to me.
For me, the most challenging situations arise when sources are less interested in my religious belief than in whether I share their political views. I recently interviewed Palestinian supporters of Hamas, and I was relieved when they didn’t ask me about my religion.
Still, there are many moments I do talk about my faith, usually when