gh, f*ck off." But I really take it seriously. I'm just trying to give her the foundation to be able to survive in the real world, and I really do feel like some of the things that are going on in our world, especially social media, gives this false expectation that every day is going to be special, and that anything less than that is a failure. This expectation now that passion needs to be there every day, every day needs to be special and every day you need to feel your best and if you don't, you've got to contemplate it. No, no, no, that's not life. Obviously, I want her to be happy, but I'm working on giving realistic expectations of life so you can actually be happy in the reality of what the world is.
Kate: How are you actually doing that?
Andrea: When there's a bad day or drama, not trying to solve it and just go, "You know what? Let's just sit in it, today's a bad day and let's not freak out by the anxiety of it or the sadness and go, 'We're going to have probably a lot of days like this.'" It's just getting the tools of how we live with it, and not freaking out about it and knowing that's just life, and really just saying like, "Hey, life isn't going to be special every day." Hopefully that will lessen the anxiety and the pressure.  Just be like, “Tomorrow, it'll be better.” It might not be; it might be a week until it's better. Try to just keep it realistic.
Kate: What were the most autobiographical scenes in the show? Were there also moments that you were like, “Dear God, I hope this never has to happen” that you put in?
Kate: I’m Sorry is on HBO Max now, right? What happened with Season 3?
Kate: What's the most terrifying thing about motherhood so far? In a funny way, not in an "Oh, God. We're all going to die alone" kind of thing.
Andrea: Listen, I'm in therapy talking about my mother and I have a great mother. I'm always like, “What are the things [my daughter] is going to be sitting in here about in 25 years?” Because you're like, “I do all the good stuff a million times, but the one weird thing I do is going to be the only thing she remembers from this entire year.” She's going to be in therapy and I'm going to want to be like, “Counterpoint. This is the context of what was happening.”... So I guess it's just how are you f*cking them up?
Kate: So you have an only child, I'm an only child. What advice do you have for fellow only-child parents? Do you have siblings?
Andrea: I have four brothers. My husband's one of five too. I have a lot of angst about having one child. I struggle with it. But I also am like, “My kid is super happy.” I feel like every time I meet someone who's an only child, suddenly I'm a doctor performing some sort of psychiatric evaluation, because I come from so many siblings, I am close with them, I rely on them. I wish I could say, “I am super comfortable with my decision and I've never looked back.” But it would be a lie. I feel guilt about not giving her a sibling. But she's also really happy.
Kate: So let’s talk about books. What are you and your kid reading?
Andrea: During COVID, we were in a mother/daughter book club. It was five moms and five girls and it was all over Zoom. If I can recommend something, it was so great to read these books and hear their analysis about it and their thoughts, and just sit back and then we'd throw a little something out there. It was one of my most favorite things I've ever done. So what we did is you'd pull their name out of a hat and they would get to pick three books, we’d all vote based on the little descriptions of the book, and then that mom and daughter would lead the book club for that book.
Kate: What a fun idea!
Andrea: We probably did it for over a year, we probably read eight books. At that age, you've got to find your ways to get into their heads and connect and be able to guide, but you can't really guide anymore obviously, you have to be real stealth about it.
It's a totally different kind of parenting, because the first couple years is just literally keeping them alive. Every year on their birthday, you're like, “Oh, my God. I kept this alive one more year.” Then it's just getting them through milestones and stuff, and now it's really the mental, prepping them to live without you. We're animals and that's what you do: you prep your offspring to be able to survive if you are not there, God forbid. But it's just where I think parenting is at that age. It's not the ha-ha, “Oh, my God. Listen to what they said.” You get out of those moments and then you get into holding your own and friendships.
I find that the stories of when my daughter was younger are funnier stories than the stories now when you have a 13-year-old. Because she knows what she's saying, they're not as adorably hilarious. I do remember that transition from little girl to young woman where your kid's walking around the house nude and you're just used to that and you just see it all the time, and then suddenly one day I was like, “Oh, there's a nude grown woman in my house.” It was just like, “OK, well, now we need to talk about not strolling through the house, because you have boobs.” It was just like suddenly there was a naked grown adult that was in our home that we had never met before.
Kate: I have to ask you this question: What are your other favorite words in the English language besides butt-hole?
Andrea: I feel like people think butt-hole, because it's dirty, I actually think butt-hole is the only word that I know that immediately relaxes people and you can't be uptight when you say it. You have to become silly if you say the word butt-hole. There's very few words or things where people will just stop being so worked up and so sensitive, and if you just are like, “Ugh, that's a butt-hole.” You can't in anger be like, “You butt-hole.” There's something just silly and it takes all, I don't know, artifice of everybody acting offended or this and that. I love the word f*ck, I really do. I like the word delightful, I feel like I use it a lot. When I really like someone, I'm like, “They're just a delight.” I like to swear, I just think it's funny to swear. 
Kate: Getting back to I'm Sorry for a second, I’ve read that you didn’t do exterior night scenes because you wanted people to go back to their kids. Did you get any pushback about that?
Andrea: You know what's interesting? There was such a small thing, but in the pilot of I'm Sorry, Andrea and Mike are driving to a kid's birthday party and Andrea's driving, that threw so many people off. From the DP to the director to the editor, it was such a small thing, but people were like, “You never see the wife driving.” Somebody even said to me, “I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it makes it somewhat emasculating for the husband character.” I was like, “Does your wife ever drive?” They're like, “Of course.” I was like, “What's the problem?” It was a very small thing, but if you really think about it, do you ever see a husband and wife in a movie or television where the wife is driving?
Kate: The Nextdoor thing got me so bad. Coyote sightings are a big deal around here.
Kate: You were in Beavis & Butthead, so everything that is old is new again, obviously. What are some of the things that you want to bring back from your youth?
Andrea: You know what I would like to bring back is the mixed tape. Making a mixed tape for somebody on your tape deck, stopping, starting, getting the mic. You got a mixed tape from somebody that was like, we are so connected, whether or not it was a boyfriend or a friend, it was a huge deal. I remember I was going on a European one-month teen tour for the summer and my boyfriend sent me mixed tapes to different cities and hotels that I was going to.
Kate: That's commitment.
Andrea: So I could hear him talk and then he would play songs.
Kate: What ever happened to him?
Andrea: I was 15. I broke up with him, then I got a crush on someone else. He was lovely. My first boyfriend was wonderful and I think set the tone. Ross Thomas, there you go.
Kate: I wonder where Ross Thomas is today.
Andrea: I don't know, but he was lovely.
Kate: There’s a messy mom trope, so what's the messiest part of your life?
Andrea: I'm weirdly messy, and my husband will take pictures and send them to his friends, which is really annoying. I have a thing where I just don't close drawers completely