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Multiple questions: Long distance, getting played, quizno’s guy, break up, engagement off
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Getting Played: Trust your Gut
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Dear Friends,
Thank you for all of your questions. We are doing our best to answer all of them, but we are quite behind in our responses. So today we decided to answer five of your questions, since these are a bit shorter than some of the rest.. Because we are not your typical guy site. Most of our readers are women, interested in knowing what’s behind the mind of the male. And we’re happy to provide you with those insights.
Our Video Page is coming very soon. We have a YOU TUBE channel as well. Check out our first video. Leave us a comment. A Like. Subscribe to our You Tube Channel for upcoming videos on relationship and dating advice.
Thanks again,
THE GUYS
Question 1: Long distance
Dear Guys,
I’m in a long distance relationship. It’s been about two and a half years. In the begining he would tell me how much he wanted me and how much he couldn’t wait to see me. He’d make intimate comments. Now, although he tells me he loves me all the time he no longer makes the intimate comments or tells me how much he wants me. This is leaving me feeling less desired.
So my question is: is it possible he still desires me? I will be going to visit in a couple of weeks but feel like the passion might not be there for him so I’m nervous.
Karen
Dear Karen,
Thanks for your question.
It’s always nice to receive loving compliments, especially if they are unsolicited. And it’s equally upsetting if these compliments suddenly disappear. If he used to shower you with loving poetry, and he no longer does, is it possible he’s got something else going on? We’re just wondering out loud here.
By nature, a long distance relationship is often more intense than your typical day-to-day relationship. For a guy, the anticipation of sex is enough for him to do or say anything. If he’s no longer anticipating the sex with the same fierce desire, this could be the reason he no longer compliments you. But it’s not the only reason he might be pulling back. It’s up to you to figure out why. Keep those eyes open and trust your gut. (From our video) Watch above.
We think you’ll get all the answers you need when you visit him next. Good luck and keep us posted.
THE GUYS
Question 2: Getting Played?
Dear Guys,
I’ve been with this guy for six months. Within the first two months I got an STD. (He was the only one I was with.) I talked to him about it and he yelled at me and told me I was the only one he was with. On top of that I only see him maybe one day out of a week and he has only spent the night with me two times in the last two months.
He has this “A” person who is always calling and texting him. And when I ask about it he yells at me and tells me it’s his sister from another state. Yet I know there was one time his phone rang and I saw that it was “A.” I asked who it was anyways and he said it was a bill collector. Another time I saw he received a text and I saw it was from “A.” When I asked him who he was texting he said his daughter.
He has two kids, a fifteen year old girl and a thirteen year old boy, which I’ve never met. They don’t even know about me. I also have never been to his house. He says he doesn’t want to introduce me to his kids until it feels right. He gets pissed if I don’t answer his calls or texts in a timely manner, or if I decide to do something at the last minute—even when he is not with me. I’ve let him in to my life 110% including my daughter looking at him like her dad.
My questions for you guys are: Do you think he’s playing me or hiding something or someone from me? How long should I wait before I press the issue about his kids? Do you think he’ll ever let me in?
Joann
Dear Joann,
Thanks for your question.
Honestly, the situation sounds very sketchy.
Clearly you don’t trust him, and from what you say, we can understand why. So why are you trying to make this work?
Relationships are all about trust. You’ve let him into your life, but he has barely let you into his. When a guy hides you from his family and friends, it’s a major red flag.
If you really want to know what’s going on, press the issue now. It’s always best to know the truth. Either way you’ll get some answers. And knowledge is much better than uncertainty, even if it doesn’t turn out the way you’re hoping.
Good luck and keep us posted. Leave us a follow up comment.
THE GUYS
Question 3: The Quizno’s Guy
Dear Guys,
So about two months ago I went to get Quizno’s. As I walked up to the counter, a cute guy started started talking to me as if we knew each other. As he was taking my order we ended up having a really odd conversation that most people wouldn’t normally have. We had great chemistry and quick and quirky comebacks for everything that was being said. It was one of those moments that only happens in movies or on TV. (It felt like we were the only ones in the Quizno’s shop.) As odd as that sounds, it was a feeling I never had the pleasure of experiencing. So my question for you is: is this something to look into or should I just let it be and let nature take its course?
P.S. As i was turning to leave I caught him turn and smile all kid like at his co-worker. His co-worker just gave him a sneaky/grin expression.
Danielle
Dear Danielle,
Thanks for your question. We love your story! It’s amazing when something like this happens–and not in the movies!
Well what do you think? What’s your gut telling you?
We say go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? So you can’t go to that particular Quizno’s anymore. What’s the best that can happen? Hmmm………Exactly!
Good luck,
THE GUYS
Question 4: The Break Up
Dear Guys,
Well, I was in a relationship with a guy for two and a half years. We broke up last month. We were madly in love, and then suddenly we were broken up. He said we can’t be happy when we’re together because I’m kinda needy and clingy. Apparently, he needs his own space and ‘single time’.
I’m going through a very hard time without him. But I know that he still loves me. He said that he wouldn’t contact me but he contacted my sister last week and asked about me. I didn’t let her give any information about me. I just want to disappear and get away from him. But I’m hoping that he will find me one day. Everyone around me is telling me that he will find me one day.
Will it really happen?
Soba
Dear Soba,
Thanks for your question.
We’re sorry you’re in so much pain. Break ups are very difficult—like losing a part of yourself.
Having said that, sometimes break ups are necessary. And if your man is saying he needs single time, that’s a pretty strong message, and one you need to respect. It also says the two of you are in very different places in your life. Relationships are as much about timing as they are about love. Right now the timing is off between the two of you.
We can’t say whether or not the two of you will get back together. We imagine it’s going to take some time before you really know the answer to that question. For now, let yourself grieve, but try and get out and spend time with the people who love you: your family and friends. We know it’s hard, but try and enjoy the simple things in life for now. Unfortunately you don’t have any control over his actions, so you’ll have to just wait and see.
Take care and keep us posted.
THE GUYS
Question 5: Broken Engagement
Hey guys!
My ex-fiance and I were together for over two years and were engaged, planning a wedding, etc. We were really great together and I just knew he was the one—until I found out that he cheated on me for two months by sending unsavory pictures and having racy conversations with this girl. I caught him and he confessed. But I’ll bet this was not the first girl.
We spent a few weeks apart and then talked things out and I forgave him. But I couldn’t really forget how it made me feel. I started to become a