Despite the name, you’re in full control here. 🙌
If you’ve never heard of a forced orgasm before, the name can understandably be confusing AF. Why would anyone have to force an orgasm to happen when it’s already the GD best feeling? Isn’t it the same as saying “forced eating all the cheese cubes at a party” or “forced eye contact with a puppy”?
7 Signs You’re a Total Pillow Princess
Well, here’s the big reveal: A forced orgasm doesn’t actually require real force or anything you don’t consent to. It’s actually most commonly part of BDSM play, where a submissive doesn’t want to orgasm but is made to anyway by their dominant partner.
This can be included in everything from an elaborate role-play fantasy (e.g., you’re a superhero captured and restrained by a villain who’s “punishing” you by making you turned on and/or climax) to routine dirty talk with your partner (e.g., asking them if you have permission to orgasm, which they can deny until you can’t take it anymore).
The overarching theme here is that even though you’re playing the role of a submissive, this is for you and your pleasure. A partner should never be pressuring you to have a forced orgasm if that’s not your thing. Like we already said, consent has to be a part of this for it to work and feel good.
If you’re really into the idea of playing with these power dynamics, here are some things you can do:
1. Talk consent and safe words before anything else.
As with any sex act, consent is key, but it’s especially important when you might be tied up/gagged/in an even more vulnerable position than usual. This is something you want to do with someone you trust—no exceptions.
Like with all BDSM play, safe words come highly, highly recommended here, especially since some of the lines you might say during a forced orgasm include “no” but you actually mean “plz keep going.” So pick a term that’s short and easy to say that wouldn’t otherwise be plausible in the scenario (like “lemon” or “pineapple”).
2. Potentially plan out scenarios ahead of time.
This is optional, but especially if it’s your first time, it can feel empowering to give your partner a script for exactly how you want this to go. This can range from “Don’t let me come until I’m begging you like crazy” to a detailed play-by-play of them giving you a massage, tying you up, going down on you, and then pounding away. This is your forced orgasm—you make the rules here!
3. Incorporate bondage.
Again, not required, but recommended: The fantasy of a forced orgasm can feel just a little more real if you’re restrained in some way. Whether you use a scarf or belt you have lying around at home, grab some supes-affordable bondage tape, or invest in a bondage kit, being tied down can also free up your partner to do everything they (re: you) want.
Bondage Boutique lovehoney.com
4. Consider vibrators!
Once more, this is not a necessity but a “Why the hell not?” kind of thing. Having your boo press a Magic Wand against your vulva or controlling a vibrator harness can be so much fun. Or if you have a penis, throwing masturbators or butt plugs into the mix can also be a great addition to a hot BDSM-style sesh.
Here's How You'll Have Sex in 2015