Your Value and Worthiness « Totally Mind
“Try not to become a man of success rather try to become a man of value.’ Albert Einstein
OK, firstly right at the start I do not like the word “try” included in the quotation above. It suggests trying, attempting but not achieving a goal. But that is just me and it detracts from the value of the quotation.
My point here is : success is merely transitory and will come to pass once we die. However, if you are a man of value, it means that you are valued, and appreciated, for what you have contributed to someone else, to a group of to society.
Being of value has a permanence. It means that you continue to have an impact even when you are no longer in touch, physically or otherwise, with who or what you have contributed to. In this regards, I would say that people like true teachers ( as opposed to people who simply deliver lessons on particular topics) are people who are valued. The impact of what they have imparted lives on, is passed on and in many ways do not diminish over time. And in fact their influence spreads over time, just like a ripple on the surface of a body of water.
However it is more than just the passing of information that makes the true teacher valued. Of far greater importance and impact is who he was as a teacher that really created his value. I am reminded of an old saying : “What you do, how you act, speaks so loud that people cannot hear what you are saying.”
So the true teacher walks the talk. In essence he is the role model for the people around him. I tell my clients that any leader must “must demand more from himself than what he demands from others.” This is truly the challenge of leadership…and it outweighs any position or rank that a person holds in any organisation.
You are also valued when you provide for a spiritual need in the people around you. Not spiritual in the sense of religion, but in the sense of making someone else feel whole and complete. What then are the intangible things that makes others feel complete around a valued person?
I say that these are qualities that the people want for themselves. These would include honesty, spontaneity, openness and feeling appreciated, among others.
What are the ways that you can make yourself valued? The irony of it is that you cannot make others value you. What it takes is to look inside yourself and ask : “Where am I not being true to myself?” If there are areas in your life where your behaviour, thoughts or actions are not congruent to your spiritual being, these are the areas that needs attention. When there is congruency and alignment in the spiritual, inner world with the physical outer world, your whole attitude, behaviour, thoughts and actions will send out positive and powerfully influential vibrations. It is this vibrations that is passed on, and it is this vibrations that people around you learn from, that gives you value.
Being valued also provides an intrinsic need to a person. I do believe that a person that is valued feels whole and complete; he is at one with himself. There is no internal conflict or struggle. Instead there is calm and serenity. And there is so much beauty in calmness and serenity
“Our deepest need is for the joy that comes with loving and being loved, with knowing we are of genuine use to others.” — Eknath Easwaran