Honor’s Psych 2 2-23-04Analysis of LoveIn the observed couple, the male and female both displayed the “roles”of their gender according to the Evolutionary Approach. The guy played hisrole by buying a candy bar to give to the girl, three days in a row. Healso opened a door for her and held her lunch tray while she was diggingthrough her backpack. The girl displayed her role by nurturing him (goingso far as to hand feed him cheetos), and calling him “baby”.
She did notmake conspicuous attempts to use her looks or age to attract him however. Surprisingly, the guy did not act extremely macho or manly in astereotypical nature, but was subtler about it. In accordance with the Psychoanalytic Theory of love, the couple ismost likely in the step of projection. Both the guy and girl (separately)indicated that the other was perfect, flawless. The girl often defends theguy when people poke fun at his intelligence level (she insists he isn’tdumb). I believe they are together out of shared defenses (both are at thebottom of the high school social caste system and are the subject ofteasing).
They really aren’t very opposite of each other, or very similar. More neutral than anything. I have no idea about their feelings of familyso the repletion reason of choosing a partner should not be ruled out. For the week or so I observed the couple, they seemed to be displayinginfatuous love as indicated by Sternberg’s Triangular Theory.
There is noquestion whether the relationship contained passion- neither can ever seemto keep their hands off the other, regardless of where they are or what isgoing on around them. They also show a high level of commitment (the guyfaithfully waits outside of every class for her, the girl is currently on amission to have the guy accompany her on a trip to New York she is taking,although he is not qualified to do so as he does not play an instrument. The couple does seem to lack the emotional component, and from myobservations there appears to be no intimacy. From the Love as a Story Theory, the couple looks as if they aredisplaying the Government Story. The girl holds power over the guy, anddisplaying this by ordering him around and making conditions he must meet.
When he breaks a condition, she punishes him by getting visibly upset, andignoring him. I believe both people in this relationship are anxious/ambivalent. They areboth preoccupied with relationship issues, and both have the desire to beextremely close and are clingy. I’m not sure of the details of their homelives, so I cannot say if they are searching for this sort of relationshipbecause of unpredictable parents or not. However, it could relate to theshared defenses of the couple that enables them to be so clingy (they drawstrength from one another?).
To be honest, I have not learned much about love from this assignment. However, I realized that attraction plays a very strong role inrelationships, as does power and background (home, social, etc. ) Thisprobably hasn’t changed the way I’ll look at future relationships, becauseit is very difficult to say you have learned something and to then apply itto life. Maybe I’ll be wearier of the power factor in relationships, buttruthfully I doubt it will be in the front of my mind.