Shirley's Articles - The Potential Of Connecting With People - Shirley Taylor
Shirley's Articles / Communication Skills and Building Relationships
No matter where you are in your career, the greatest challenge you face will probably not be the technical side of your job, but rather interacting with other people. When it comes to technical skills, they can be taught and learnt. However, the art of dealing with people is very challenging, because not every person is the same. What drives one individual will differ from another, as well as morals, values and upbringing – all of which play a part in how people behave and interact.
I have known several leaders who believe, “The minute I climb up the ladder, I can do things my way because people will have to listen to me.” This is so dangerous. The truth is that your ultimate success is more likely to depend on your ability to build relationships with people.
The one cardinal rule that I think everyone should embrace is what I call communicating with heart. So often today, office workers rarely get up and walk over to a colleague’s desk to engage in face-to-face communication. Instead, people are using Skype, Slack and other instant messaging tools to communicate. While these are useful in talking to clients and virtual colleagues, there is simply no excuse when you’re in the same room. But this is happening more often now, and when you do this, you miss the opportunity to truly connect and collaborate. You also miss out on being able to read other clues that you might normally get from body language, gestures, facial expressions and other things.
Working on being a better communicator is an ongoing process, but starting on it doesn’t have to be daunting. It can be as easy as working on one small thing a day. To get you started, here’s one of my favourite lists – People Skills For Every Day Of The Week:
Monday: Smile and be positive. It’s so simple, yet, for some, so difficult.
Tuesday: Use the other person’s name. When speaking with someone, use their first name in a casual way. For example, instead of saying “That’s a great idea,” try “That’s a great idea, Bob!”
Friday: Practice makes… a big difference (perfection is very rare). Get out there and interact. You will improve your people skills only by practicing them, so take opportunities you would normally pass up.
The ability to interact, communicate and connect is one of the greatest joys on this earth, so enjoy it. And this doesn’t have to be confined to work alone. Start a conversation with the taxi driver or the neighbour who just moved in. With people come opportunities, so just get out there and enjoy connecting with your fellow humans.