Wanna hear a crazy story? Alright then. Get yourself a cup of tea (or detox tea) and stay for a while. It is the year 2019, and as I sat down to do my new moon manifesting practice a thought came through me.
I got a download that told me everything is going to be okay.
Everything that is meant to happen, will happen. That deep down, I will know what to do, and to trust my intuition.
You see, motherhood terrified me. When I was younger I thought babies and children were loud, annoying and gross. Others would comment that one day I was just like them too, and my response was always ‘that doesn’t mean I enjoyed being a child’. When I was a young child, I believed every other kid is stupid. That they are blind to what’s really going on around us. I was attracted to the stars and crystals, had a million thoughts, didn’t know how to express them, and ended up not saying much most of the time.
Raising a child like me terrified me.
The truth is my children will not be exactly like me. They are their own person, with their own minds and their own life missions. My job is not to raise a mini me, it’s to help a small human become their true self. A needless weight I’ve been carrying around motherhood lifted off of my shoulders. I felt ready.
I set my intention on the new moon in Leo
Here’s the exact sentence I wrote: “Be a mother to a human child I gave birth to.”
Simple right? I then proceeded to create a mini vision board in my planner, which is something I’ve never done before. Looking back I truly feel this one manifesting step sealed in my trust in the universe.
Than my next period didn’t come.
I was living my life as I was up until that point. Nothing changed besides me setting an intention. My husband and I were looking at my period app that guesses when ovulation is and we made our plans. Just as we’ve done for more than a year before this point. This time around I wasn’t obsessing over it. I knew there’s a soul out there that wants to come through me, and I knew they were on their own schedule. I just trusted.
Looking back, I learned what trusting the universe and true manifesting finally means.
It’s not just creating a goal and working towards it. It’s deeper than that. Every cell in your body needs to be onboard with your vision. You need to believe from your core that what you are wishing for is possible, but inevitable.
I was talking to a friend to say how amazing it is that our first born came to us 7 years into our marriage, and the second one right away. She mentioned she has a similar story. It took years before their first born came, and #2 showed up quickly. The reason why their first born took time, she believes, is because she was too stressed.
I’m no fertility expert, but hearing more than one story like ours makes me believe that what’s going on in our minds plays a huge part of our health.
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