Most men start their year off by setting their goals for 2021. It’s suppose to increase your chances of achieving what you want, right? Research has shown that goal setting and writing down your goals dramatically improves your progress. For the most part, this is correct. You are far more likely to achieve your goals if you know what they are in the first place and are focused on them throughout the year. However, even when men do set their goals, over 60% end up dropping them after six months. So why do such a high percentage of men lose sight of their goals half way through the year? The answer is quite simple.
What Holds Men Back From Their Goals
If you’re like most high-achievers, you like to take on challenges. Only a weak man would say “no” to adversity. But a smart man knows when to say “not right now.” What I see most often in men is that they face overwhelm. They’ve taken too much on and it ends up burning them out. Or they’re not able to focus on the right things and they fail to get the traction they want. They’ve spread themselves too thin.
That’s exactly what men do at the beginning of each year. They start new goals and add on to their existing workload without resolving what they’ve already started. Part way through the year, they end up dropping some aspect of their new goal and most of the time they don’t even know why. They beat themselves up and sometimes even feel like a failure. If you’ve found yourself in this position, it’s not your fault. It’s your approach that needs modification.
Buddhists have a term they use that applies to many things in life. They say that before you learn anything new, take on a new challenge or set your target on a goal, you must first “empty your cup.” If you think about the analogy, it’s quite true. Most men are running around with their cups overflowing. You have a business or career you’re trying to advance, you have a marriage you’re trying to keep together and you’re trying to raise kids who grow up healthy and happy. On top of that, you’re suppose to have time for yourself and the things you enjoy. It’s a never-ending list of list of things you’re suppose to do.
Here’s how you get past that. You must first empty your cup. Before you set your new goals, first take a look at what you need to let go of. What are your unresolved issues, tasks, projects, or goals that you need to resolve? What are challenges, issues or problems that you need to overcome? There’s one way to get over these and get over them fast. That’s to tip your cup and allow what’s it in already to pour out. Empty what’s occupying your mind, emotions and spirit. That allows you to keep going on with your life.
What happens when you don’t cut those “threads” off is that they remain in your unconscious mind. You may not even be aware of them but they continue to eat away at you, taking vital cognitive and emotional capacity that you need for your new goals. So what you must do is let go of the things you need to let go of before you move on to your new goals. Think of it as an mental, emotional and even spiritual purge.
Try This To Reach Your Goals Faster
If you’re finding it difficult to let go of things, I don’t blame. But you have to be strong. There are things in your life that you know you must let go. Things that you’re holding on to for safety or whatever the reason may be. If that sounds familiar I want you to try this exercise.
Close your eyes and picture yourself in your finest suit. You look sharp and you feel sharp. Think of those one, two or even three things that you’re holding on to that you know you should be letting go. Picture of each of these things as threads hanging off your blazer. You know those annoying threads I’m talking about. What do you do with those thread? You take a pair of scissors and cut them off. Picture yourself taking a pair of scissors, cut them off and throw them in the waste bin. That’s it. You don’t think about those threads again and they’re gone. Now, picture yourself feeling fresh, great and ready to take on your new goals. If those pesky threads keep reappearing, just keep cutting them off. It’s that simple.
Before you can move on to your new goals, you must first create the capacity for them. That requires you to let go and empty your cup of those things that are holding you back.
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