Past Relationship Pain Be Gone – HEALING through CEREMONY
Category: Past Relationship Pain Be Gone
Why Actions Surrender to Reactions when You’re under Stress. Is this an app.?
February 9, 2019 February 8, 2019 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in Past Relationship Pain Be Gone	
Well most of you have heard of fight or flight,
it’s kind of like white noise at this point
In this post I’m looking at this human behaviour
why when you’re under stress,
does your ability to take action
surrender to reaction?
Now I’m only talking about the places
where more healing needs to happen,
for in the places where you have healed, or never needed to,
your ability to take action will not be superseded by reaction.
A case in point in my life recently.
An unexpected crisis arose in my working life.
My problem-solving instinct kicked in,
and I dealt with things one after the other after the other.
Imagining after each problem solved, that this was the end of it.
I would breathe a sigh of relief go to bed and arise the next morning to ….
you guessed it, a new crisis.
(I’m sure this has never happened to you.)
This went on for weeks,
and because I was so reactive to the next crisis being problem solved,
I just kept going like a little energizer bunny.
(If you don’t get the reference, ask some old people.
Oh and by the by, it’s not like we’d had a cataclysmic disaster
and needed to put self care on hold
because self care at that point was trying to not die!)
Before I knew it, January was over and
I had worked 100 hours on this particular project
over and above other business.
Now knowing what I know about addiction and my own patterns of behaviour,
when I’m stressed out, I am usually blatantly aware of my moods,
of my timing, what I eat, how long I sleep, am I happy or sad.
This self-awareness is how I got to sobriety.
Well along with many, many healing ceremonies (Blatant plug.)
This crisis however had a client who was thousands of miles away,
was fighting cancer, and was just not able at that time here to deal with these crises.
(This is how I rationalized ignoring my self-care.
Again I’m sure you’ve never done that)
I had committed to a small project that went completely sideways,
and felt obligated to solve it as many people were involved,
and many people unhappy.
(It’s always important to make others happy
before yourself ….. NOT!)
I went back into addictive mode completely focused on only one need,
and that need was to get each new crisis solved.
I knew my eating habits have gone into the toilet,
I just didn’t have time to cook properly like I usually do.
I was grabbing things on-the-fly which for me is disastrous
as when I don’t feed myself with nourishing food that makes me feel satisfied
I get, well really, really, really cranky …..
What I also know about myself
is that when I work over and above a certain amount of hours in a day,
again it throws me completely out of whack.
I was so consumed with the problems I was juggling
that I was not sleeping well, which again is a very big red flag for me.
Yet I persevered until I started crying at some point every day,
and after three days of crying jags,
I had my very first panic attack.
In this moment the proverbial straw that broke the camels’ back happened
and my self preservation and self-care kicked in.
Within 24 hours I had new people hired and in place
to handle what I could no longer do.
That was five days ago
and now I am back into my regular routine
and feel sane again.
My actions had surrendered to re-action mode.
This was still my choice,
my lack of boundaries in this situation,
my attachment to problem-solving for someone I cared about,
at the cost of my own self-care.
The take away from all this was that I gained
a new level of self-awareness,
a new level of being able to say no.
After the above story you may well think
‘A new level of being to say no?
You didn’t say no until you had a panic attack!’
but for me this was a new level of saying no.
In the past I would’ve carried on regardless,
through the tears through the panic attack.
We are all at choice in every moment,
however we all have an inner patterns and behaviours,
and they run just like computer apps.
Some of them are learned behaviours
some of them are adaptive behaviours
but once they are triggered they run.
So once you double-click that particular app.
until you quit that app.
So the question is how to quit the apps. that you run permanently?
The only way that happens is through self-awareness.
How you get to your self-awareness has multiple pathways,
but unless you choose to look at who you are
and what apps. you run,
every single time an app. is double clicked
you will continue to run it, in the exact same way as you did before.
Is it time for you to write any new apps?
Tagged adaptive, apps, awareness, behaviours, british columbia, canada, ceremony, certified shamanic coach, changing, choices, fight or flight, gabriola island, growing, happiness, Healing, healing ceremonies, healingthroughceremony.com, learned behaviours, life coaching, medicine woman, Michele Fire-River Heart, patterns, re-learning, re-patterning, self-awareness, self-care, self-healing, shamanism, stress	
You’re in the drivers seat of your healing journey
January 24, 2019 January 23, 2019 by Michele Fire-River Heart, posted in Past Relationship Pain Be Gone, Uncategorized	
For most of you getting into the driver seat of a car was a process. As children you were driven around by people, then you got to that magical age of being allowed to drive, you learnt to drive and now you are your own driver.
Your healing journey is much the same.
Stage One: an awareness that something needs to change
Stage Two: an awareness that healing has to happen in order for you to change
Stage Three: you are ready and willing to heal and change
Stage Four: you gain some knowledge that affords you the ability to heal and change
Stage Five: you apply that knowledge, resulting in a healing change happening.
Stage Six: increased freedom, increased self acceptance, increased self-esteem
Stage Seven: rinse and repeat Stage Five and Six.
You are in the drivers seat of Your own healing journey,
no matter what help you get along the way,
who has the power to change
or the power to stay the same.
What I have noticed is the universe supports the journey. Opportunities to heal any issue get presented to you, over and over and over again until you are complete with that particular issue and no longer need the opportunity to heal it. Even better is the fact that you will no longer be at the mercy of your past history and buttons in regard to that particular issue, even if you’re faced with that issue again there is no button left to be pushed. Once you set an intent to heal something, opportunities just arise that afford you the ability to fast track that healing and therefore change your life far more quickly than if you have no awareness and set no intent. What also tends to happen is when we ignore the opportunities, hehehe the universe ups the ante and the opportunities become harder and harder to ignore. Personally I have found that working with opportunities as quickly as I can, diminishes the fallout in my world that happens when I ignore them.
~ Less fall out
~ Less for me to clean up
~ A much shorter path to healing and change.
So, you can get drunk with your best friend and whine about why the latest relationship you’re in is so much like the last, or how you have discovered that this new partner has the same traits as a past one, but it just looked different so you didn’t see it at first. You can bemoan all the bad things your partner, your mother or other people ‘do to you’
you can start to look at
~ why you feel that way
~ why you allow yourself to be put down
~ why you put yourself down
~ why you are often depressed
~ why you feel like shit
~ why you are waking up with a hangover yet again
OR you can choose to get in the drivers seat of your life
AND the healing journey that accompanies us all.
YES US ALL
None of us are free and clear of past baggage, habits, wounds,
it’s the quantity that varies
and how you deal with it when it surfaces
that changes how you experience your life.
You are doing the best in every moment even if it doesn’t look pretty,
but wouldn’t it be nice if it was easier,
if your life had less trauma and drama,
if you could wake up happy and go to bed happy?
It’s not a cake walk, but it is attainable.
You can release your past and heal,
without telling stories,
without floods of tears,
without it being work.
Healing ceremonies are powerful ancient tools that afford you this opportunity.
May your journey be powerful
May your healing be swift
Tagged addiction, anger, ashamed, blame, broken heart, buttons, ceremony, crying, depression, emotional pain, empowered, happy, Healing, healing ceremonies, helpless, hopeless, internal dialogue, lonely addiction, Love, love lost, mothers, old patterns, Pain, past history, patterns, powerful, powerless, reaction mode, regret, relationships, repeating patterns, shame, sobriety	