Stand Out or Conform?
I’ve been doing some work recently where I had to step out of my comfort zone. I realised I was feeling conflicted about being visible and standing out, as opposed to enjoying my comfy, conformist place.
The phrase new level, old devil springs to mind here. I thought I’d gotten out of my own way about being visible years ago but suddenly, the old devil’s popping it’s head up again.
When I was growing up, my twin sister, Lisa and I were like chalk and cheese. I was a conformist and followed the rules, Lisa was a free spirit, who wanted to explore all that life had to offer.
Even now we are very different, we are a little like the hare and the tortoise. Lisa’s the hare, fast and creative with lots of amazing ideas and enthusiasm for life. I’m more like the tortoise, well prepared and making steady progress in the right direction.
Interestingly, we now admire the qualities possessed by the other. We’ve both worked on acquiring the qualities naturally held by the other, to help us embrace life fully.
This battle between conforming and being an individual can become a sticking point for many. A brilliant example of this is fashion. People make a statement about who they are as an individual, by what they choose to wear. But to be ‘on trend’, they buy their clothes from the high street, which really means they are conforming.
Life stages can also play a big part in this confusion. There are certain times when our biology forces us to conform to natures path, and we don’t have a say in it. We want to do things on our terms, but hormones etc. can have other ideas.
Beliefs that keep us hidden
At some point, we start to create beliefs about how we and others should behave. These beliefs can keep us hidden as adults, avoiding anything that makes us stand out. These beliefs can have us labelled as rebellious for wanting to be individual. These beliefs can make us judgemental about others’ decisions and actions.
Start to notice the beliefs you have which are limiting you from being a successful practitioner. What ones are stopping you from being visible? Write them down and look at them objectively. Is allowing these beliefs to continue, useful to your business? If they aren’t, they need to be addressed to allow you to flourish.
Decide what you want to believe instead and write them down too. Now use your favoured method such as NLP or EFT, to work on creating new, more useful beliefs.
Judgement can be a reflection
Next time you find yourself judging someone, stop and consider what is actually going on. Often judgement is a reflection of how you are feeling about yourself. Try viewing the situation from the other person’s perspective. What can you learn from this other viewpoint? Even if it doesn’t change your mind, it will give you an alternative opinion and open you up to different possibilities.
The challenge of building your thriving practice is getting a balance between conforming and standing out. Achieving that balance will allow you to be visible in a way that enables you to flourish as a complementary practitioner or therapist.
If you struggle with being visible and finding clients, book a discovery call to find out how I can help you.