FAMILY MEETINGS – LEARNING TO PLAN PRODUCTIVELY TOGETHER
Give each person an opportunity to voice disagreements in your family business, suggests Trevor Dickinson. doing so will not only reduce resentment, but help define the role of the next generation.
Do you worry that conflict might arise if you and your children discuss the future of your family business together? Worse still, do you worry that conflict within the business could harm both family relationships and the operation of the company? You are not alone; many senior-generation leaders like you have sleepless nights about this issue.
The media and entertainment industries tend to accentuate the bad news about family businesses. Their stories about feuding heirs suggest that every family business is headed for disaster. So, it’s reasonable to think that your own will suffer the same fate.
Strong family businesses leverage unique trust, love and loyalty that don’t exist outside the family. Families in business together have their differences, of course, but in general they learn to manage these differences.
What if you think your own family members may not be able to sort out their differences? What if you fear that family dialogue will uncover conflict between your children and their spouses, or even between you and your spouse? After all, your differences in the past may have generated arguments and unpleasantness, and tension may smoulder beneath the surface, ready to flare when the discussion commences. Naturally, you’ll be concerned that family meetings might provoke yelling, tears, or someone storming out of the room, any of which
could alienate you from each other.
Other questions to ask might be: if we keep our family business, will my generation be financially secure? Who
will own shares? Who will be the next CEO? If I sell the business, how will family relationships change? And how will family members find fulfilling careers elsewhere?
Most agribusiness families can learn to plan productively together. These conversations can be strange, even scary at first, but they pay huge dividends. Family dialogue accesses knowledge about your family that you cannot discover on your own, no matter how well you think you know your children.
Don’t delay this process! Start having family dialogues while you are still healthy and influential.
Select a neutral meeting site. Your home, office or manufacturing plant is not neutral. Your family holiday home, if you have one, might be appropriate, provided everyone associates the place with pleasant experiences. If not, choose a resort with a conference centre.
Reserve a private room with comfortable chairs, good lighting and cheerful decor with flipchart and audio-visuals, if you need them.
At some point, consider including your children’s spouses in these discussions, unless there are strong reasons for not inviting them. Don’t decide without consulting your children, however; they, too, may be worried about family conflict. They might want to meet without spouses for the first few sessions.
Pay attention to the sequence of agenda items. It’s wise to handle non-controversial items first (this helps build an attitude of productive discussion) and place potentially divisive items towards the end. Share good news about the company. And help less experienced family members understand financial and technical matters.
Strive to create a safe forum for discussion. Encourage questions and comments, and concentrate on listening and on understanding what others say. Let them finish without interrupting. Reframe others’ input in your own words, as in “I hear you say … is that what you meant?” When they agree that your words convey their meaning, write them on the flipchart without stopping to evaluate or refute what was said. Then go on to the next speaker.
Set limits. Family members have different attention spans and levels of interest, so have an hourly break. Also avoid marathon sessions; don’t meet for more than six hours a day. Keep cell phones off at all times. Schedule some fun and free time. An overnight stay encourages socialising, contemplation and pillow talk.
Save the last two hours for a wrap-up. If you make decisions that require action, assign who does what and by when. If you need another meeting, nail down the time and place before you adjourn. Spend the last half-hour evaluating the meeting itself. Go around the table asking each person to comment on how he or she thought the meeting went, and how it could be improved next time.
Do you think your family could accomplish all this on their own, or would it be better to obtain the help of an outside facilitator? Once again, you should involve the children in this decision and in deciding whom to hire. If you choose a facilitator without consulting them, they may view the facilitator as your hired gun.
Don't delay! Start having family dialogues while you are still healthy and influential.
Be careful about choosing a facilitator. Your current outside advisers (lawyer, accountant, financial planner) probably don’t have the skills. They might try facilitating out of loyalty to you, but are likely to lack the experience
or objectivity to be effective.
Published in the August 2021 Edition of Farmer's Weekly
SUSTAINING AND RENEWING SHARED PURPOSE AND VALUES
MEDIATION AND THE FAMILY BUSINESS