We'd like to make available to everyone a short summary of our Wednesday night meetings. We understand that everyone can not attend, so we'd like to share the rich insights that are covered in the Word and expounded on by Mr. Fugate in his book, "What The Bible Says About Child Training."
"God has established institutions such as government, marriage, and family for the orderly administration of His plan. Each institution ordained by God has been arranged with definite positions of authority for the orderly function of that institution. Each institution operates independently of the others and each is accountable to God for their actions. The one who is in the position of authority of an institution has the right of rulership over the subjects of that institution only. God's Word gives specific boundaries for the power of each institution. Each position of rulership has defined limits in the extent of its authority. God could always control any individual who oversteps his boundaries, but often allows such a one to remain in his position of power to discipline the people or to test those under his rulership. The realm of parental authority is the broadest, most far-reaching realm of authority God has given. Parents have the right to set their will above that of their children and to command them to follow their rulership. The parent's right to rule includes the power to force obedience to their will in all things. Children are commanded to obey: Colossians 3:20 -"Children, obey your parents in all things;" In the Old Testament the parents right to rule was to be backed up by the government even to the point of stoning a rebellious child if he refused to obey. Deuteronomy 21:18-21 "If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not listen to them, then shall the father and his mother take him to the elders of the city. This, our son, is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunk. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he dies. So shall you put evil away from you, and all Israel will hear and fear." God values obedience in children!!! Blessings of great joy and satisfaction exist for both the father and mother who properly train their children, while cursing and great sorrow is the consequence of those who do not. Child training is dependent on the child's respect for his parent's position of authority. Parents do not have to deserve the right to rule their children, it is a God-given right, and God holds us responsible for how well our children respect and obey us!"
In addition to the discussion on authority we discussed several ways in which parents train their children negatively. We all train our children, some of us just have a plan... Repeated commands, counting, raising the voice to get obedience, inconsistent threats, allowing a child to argue and question every command, allowing a child to train his parents to wait until he is ready to obey, and allowing a child to always give an excuse for their behavior are all ways that negative training takes place. The only fair and correct way to train your child is to expect his obedience in consistently and promptly following or instructions the first time you give them.
Also, we discussed the cost of being a parent. It takes a tremendous amount of death to self and grace to give the time and effort necessary to properly train a child. Parents must be willing to die to their desires and needs for the training of their children. Fellowship and social needs must take a back seat to the training of children. Parenting is all time consuming work and we do not let go of our children until they have demonstrated the ability to obey and follow our directions completely. As they show maturity then we begin the releasing process into adulthood.