social change | Neal Lemery
Teachings From the Pandemic
June 16, 2021 by Neal Lemery	Categories: Uncategorized	| Tags: adapting, Covid, pandemic, social change | Leave a comment
Tightrope: A Challenging and Compelling Book for our World
by Neal Lemery 1/17/2021
If you are concerned about kids in your neighborhood, or you worry about your community, or the future welfare of the country, then Tightrope: Americans Reaching for Hope, by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, is a must-read book for these challenging times.
A sobering and emotional (and very well written) read, Tightrope tells the stories of Kristof’s classmates and neighbors in rural Oregon, and stories of impoverished Americans across the country, in today’s world, which the authors call “America’s social Great Depression”. The stories are the stories of the people most at risk in our society. They can be, as Kristof points out, the kids you rode the school bus with, the decent people who are still your mom’s neighbors.
“We need economic change, but also cultural change, and ours would be a richer nation if it were more infused with empathy, above all for children,” say Kristof and WuDunn. Kristof, a New York Times columnist, and his wife look deep and compassionately into the lives of good people, the heart and soul of this country, and tell their stories of struggle.
Their previous four books, and many of Kristof’s newspaper columns, have taken deep and hard looks at social issues in what we would call the Third World. Yet, this book compels us to look at the urgent issues we Americans face today; our many problems are Third World problems, or worse.
We need to “look at our society through the lens of moral grace,” is their heartfelt message.
The deep and bloody holes in our social fabric are revealed, along with tales of courage and determination, as well as hope.
This is a book of heartbreaking stories, but we hear about innovative solutions. “Solutions are difficult and imperfect, but the right programs make a big difference. “There is a path out of the inferno,” the authors write.
This book was often painful, and at the same time offers hope and resources. If you want to be a force for change, the book is both a wake-up call and a great resource.
January 18, 2021 by Neal Lemery	Categories: Uncategorized	| Tags: community, compassion, economic development, social change | Leave a comment
Wanting Change: How Does That Happen?
Often, I react to the news with despair, anger and frustration. I remind myself that the “news” is often sensationalized, that the news business is a business, and that almost all the “good news” is not included in a news program. Yet, what much of what is “news” stirs me up to wanting change, a different approach to old problems.
If I want change, I have to act.
If I am passive, then others will make changes, or not. And those actions or inactions will likely not be what I want to see happen. I will not have a voice. My silence, my inaction diminishes my soul and my purpose in life.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world,” Mahatma Gandhi famously said.
Yet, to borrow a phrase from Al Gore, it is an inconvenient truth.
If I don’t like what I read in the news, then either I am an instrument to change the world, or I do nothing. My inaction assures that I lose my right to express my disagreement with what is going on. After all, actions speak louder than words.
I am in charge of how I react, respond, how I am an instrument of change, putting action into my beliefs, and thus creating change, building a better world.
If I don’t like what I see in my community, my neighborhood, my family, then I need to step up and get involved, and become an instrument of change.
A healthier community starts with me. Put up or shut up. It’s all on me.
The simple acts are the easiest and the most effective. They have the greatest impact long term.
Here’s a list of actions for me, and, hopefully, you:
Invite a friend to coffee.
Play music, and teach someone else, sharing music with others, creating joy and community.
Send an inspirational note or story to a friend.
Reach out to a prisoner, someone who is going through a hard patch, someone in pain.
Acknowledge someone’s loss, or a challenge, and offer them a compliment, a few words of cheer and encouragement. They are not alone.
Practice patience and understanding.
Don’t expect a reward or recognition. Acting anonymously can be very sweet.
Practice forgiveness and compassion, even if another’s words or acts seem hurtful.
Imagine walking in the shoes of another.
Remember the Greek proverb: “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they shall never sit in.”
Slow to judge, quicker to forgive.
Intend to follow the Golden Rule.
Examine your own biases and prejudices. Do some personal housekeeping. I’ve found this to be very humbling and enlightening.
My ego gets in the way in this work, but if I am honest, I learn more about myself and the world, and I move forward to be a better human being.
And, the world changes, just a little.
September 22, 2019 by Neal Lemery	Categories: community building	| Tags: change, compassion, empathy, personal change, social change | Leave a comment
The daily news can be overwhelming, and often paralyzes me into a state of inaction, frustration, and disappointment on how I fit in. I wonder if my life really has meaning. Nothing I can do will make a difference, part of my brain rationalizes, pushing me into idleness and despondency.
I have to work hard to countermand that kind of thinking, which is ineffective and against all of my values and spirituality. I bring value to the world. Everyone does. Creating change and spreading love is the essence of my purpose on this planet. Yet, the negativity and depressive energy seems to be persistent and ever-present.
Others, with great wisdom, take on this feeling, this social attitude that often seems pervasive. They turn it around and urge us to be proactive, to initiate change by engaging with others. And, often that work is not a shout out to the entire world, but quiet, thoughtful work, one on one, giving an individual some attention and direction.
Oprah’s new book, The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life’s Direction and Purpose, is a delightful and inspiring collection of quotes and short essays on empowering yourself to change your attitude and the world.
“When you know, teach. When you get, give.” – Maya Angelou.
We are all teachers and givers. That is what we are here for, the purpose of life. As a child, I found great joy in life in simply being with others. The greatest satisfactions came with experiences with others. Sharing, giving, teaching, it is all the same, moving us towards our purpose, our life force of one’s love to others. I often get side-tracked, and forget that profound lesson I learned as a child.
When we give, when we teach, when we share of ourselves to others, that spreads out into the world, like a pebble tossed into a pond. The good from that rebounds back to us, often in ways we may not recognize or even be aware. And, often that echoing is seen many years later, our initial altruistic act nearly forgotten.
The time frame for that fits no pre-conceived schedule or expectation. Often, I sense that “return on investment” as a surprise, a new, unexpected gift back to me.
At other times, my investment seems like a poor choice. The recipient of my attention, my nurturance and loving, acts out with meanness, anger, and multiple acts of self and social destruction and violence. I see numerous acts of narcissistic rage and self-harm, a desire to “win at all cost”.
The addictions of this world, be it drugs, violence, selfishness, or other toxins, often can seem to be the winners on the battlefields people create to try to make it through our lives. I can’t change the world by having bigger, more deadly weapons in my arsenal. Such escalation only increases the casualty lists and leaves the world poorer, more broken. Hatred is a no-win answer for any problem. And, it turns me into a nasty, vitriolic shell of my true self.
“There is no more neutrality in the world. You either have to be part of the solution, or you’re going to be part of the problem.” – Eldridge Cleaver.
If I am patient, and understanding, and willing to step to the side and let the storms of rage and loathing pass by, the inherent goodness can still be found in the ashes of the outcomes of frustration and acting out. In those moments, there is often a “sweet moment” of opportunity.
I try to turn it around, and rather than fling my own spears and shoot my own arrows of hostility and rage, I get in touch with my own gentle side, and respond with compassion, patience, and reaching out to them.
Such an approach is not without its challenges. But, I’m stubborn and persistent in my own path of being an instrument of change.
A few words of kindness, a smile, a warm and welcoming handshake can be disarming. If the recipient of my outreach responds with a look of need or even acknowledgement of my message, then the communication has begun, and the path of their day of anger and rage has been changed.
Just listening, with compassion, is a revolutionary act.
People do change. It is often a small change, but it IS a change, an alteration, a glimpse of an alternative on how one should feel, how the day can be navigated in a different way, even in developing a vision on living an intentional, purposeful life based upon love.
Perhaps in those small acts, I am a rebel, a revolutionary, going in a direction that isn’t what is expected of me, or the place in this world other people perceive I should occupy.
I can be the good farmer, the good steward of my own heart and its bounty. If I take care of my own little corner of the world, and let my garden grow, then I can later share my harvest with the world.
When I reach out to someone and suspend judgement and bias, if I give of myself and my life force, then I’m being genuine, real, and open. That person I’m in touch with gets the real me, a person striving to be an honest, straight-forward bit of love and care, with all of my own imperfections and challenges.
Like all of us, I’m a work in progress.
That gift of me can help fill an empty spot, ease a pain, help heal a wound, even start a conversation.
“Someone cares” can also be a very powerful, world-changing message, a key ingredient in letting another person move closer to their true potential, and find an easier path to their own peacefulness and gentleness.
We all need to heal. There are more than enough wounds in life that need to heal, to ease the pain in our hearts, to feel that we truly belong to our community, that our own life matters and has purpose.
I can make a difference. I am valued for what I do, who I am, and what I can contribute to others.
“Give to this world what you want to receive from the world, because that is what you will receive.” –Gary Zukov
April 24, 2019 by Neal Lemery	Categories: community building, Mentoring	| Tags: active listening, change the world, compassion, Mentoring, social change, social interaction | Leave a comment
Living In A Strong Community
I’ve been taking a look at my community, and wondering how we measure up, in these challenging times, when some are wondering if our society is in decline.
Here’s a checklist of seven attributes of a healthy community:
Being in community is vital to my own mental health and emotional well-being. Given the continual national stream of tragic events fueled by racism, prejudice, bigotry, and selfishness, I often feel the weight of despair and hopelessness. I am increasingly more sensitive to reaching my limit of how much of that “news cycle” and horror I can be exposed to.
Much of that angst is relieved when I immerse myself in building up my community, and being present with others who are caring, selfless people engaged in taking care of themselves and each other in these turbulent, emotionally exhausting times.
In my town, we are doing it right. I think we get high marks on Scott Doyon’s list of a healthy, engaged community.
In the past three years, the state highway department has funded a major revamping of the traffic pattern (our previously confusing junction of two major highways), narrow downtown streets, and a dilapidated, underused waterfront.
This week, we are celebrating the completion of that project, as well as other efforts by the city and the business community to rejuvenate and invigorate the downtown, making it a welcoming and prosperous town.
Now, we have new sidewalks, a smoother flowing traffic pattern, a town pedestrian plaza, bike paths, a food truck cart center, bike racks, a fresh look in two waterfront parks, and a walkway encouraging people to walk to other parks and attractions. New bridges span the slough at the north edge of the downtown. New landscaping adds a fresh, inviting look. The local restaurant scene is vigorous and inviting. Open mics, featuring local musicians and writers, are now the norm.
Downtown merchants have also gotten on board, with renovations, fresh paint, and interesting shops. We have a number of new downtown events, including a monthly Art Walk, a thriving community art gallery, and a museum which not only showcases local artists, but a continuing schedule of regionally renown speakers and presenters.
Community organizations are thriving, and numerous activities are filling up the community calendar with a wide variety of events for every interest. New ideas are being discussed, and plans are underway for even more activities and ways to build a healthier community. We have a “can do” attitude now.
Our “Year of Wellness”, a public health collaborative to focus on ways to improve individual and community health, has brought together the entire spectrum of health service agencies, government, and individuals to collaborate on improving public health and a sense of community spirit. We are challenging ourselves to live healthier, more informed lives, and doing it from the ground up. Grass roots activism at its finest! We’ve decided a year wasn’t long enough for the tasks we identified, and now the work is seen as long term, with increasingly challenging and meaningful goals. Community wellness is now part of our collective experience.
The library is spearheading the building of a new downtown park, and library programs are enjoying wide popularity, engaging the community on a variety of experiences and informative activities for all ages. Public use of the library is setting records.
Teachers are developing state of the art educational experiences for students, and we are becoming increasingly well informed about the impact of childhood trauma, domestic violence, hunger, and addiction recovery.
The best part of all this is that we have a sense of belonging here. Each of us is important, and each of us is a valued contributor to the common good, the whole community. An individual has something unique to offer, and is a valued, unique player in the common effort. I feel I belong here, and so do all my neighbors.
In this town, one person makes the difference, and others listen to their voice, and value their experience, their perspective, and their talents. And, we have the will power and the courage to take on the difficult, ugly issues that our community, and the nation, has. Much of the work is hard, and the tasks are daunting at times. We don’t always achieve 100% success, but we are trying and we see a lot of progress in what we are trying to accomplish. And, that feels really good.
In this town, there is hope, and there is a sense of collective purpose. We are committed to be winners, and the changers that create a better world. Now, we are a town of optimism and determination.
Community partnerships are everywhere, knitting together our community fabric in a fresh spirit of resolve and collaboration. There’s an attitude of “get it done” and pitching in to just do it.
As my friends say around town, “Onward!”
October 30, 2018 by Neal Lemery	Categories: community building	| Tags: activism, community, community building, engagement, social change, volunteering | Leave a comment