Looking after yourself after a breakup
Added: Beverley Aziz - Date: 07.10.2021 09:32 - Views: 41264 - Clicks: 5074
In fact, for a time, it did break me. It felt like the hurt, anger, disappointment and sadness would stay with me forever. In the months that followed the breakup, I managed to work on a few things that really helped me feel stronger than I had ever felt before. Self care after a breakup is possible and today I am sharing five ways I learned how to practice self-care.
And then my family life kind of fell apart and that left me feeling angry and sad. But with Looking after yourself after a breakup breakup, the feelings were different. But when my ex broke up with me, he chose to do that. And that feeling, the feeling of not being good enough hurts like a MF. And after being with my ex for 14 years and living together for 7 yearsit hurt more than I can put into words how cold he was towards me. It was as if I meant nothing to him and all those years of closeness and thinking he was my best friend were gone.
But, I think no matter what the situation is, breakups are tough. They challenge you in every way possible and make you second guess yourself. After you give yourself time to heal, the lessons are there and I have learned so much about myself and others in the process.
Practicing self care is important no matter whatbut after a breakup it can feel near impossible, which is why I wanted to share what worked for me. If you have ever gone through something like this or are currently going through it, it is my hope that this can serve as a resource for you.
Time truly is the only thing you have that can get you through something. I learned this when I was grieving for my mom too. But over time, you can start to live again and it becomes a little easier day-to-day. I will say that not only is it time that helps, but what you do with that time that matters too.
As much as being surrounded by friends Looking after yourself after a breakup family helped, I also needed time to process things on my own. I was so used to always having someone around and learning to be on my own again was hard. As someone who thinks of themselves as independent, I began to realize how much I relied on my ex. I was whole on my own and I was capable of so much more than I thought. In the last 7 months, I have grown so much. Even when I look at photos of myself from just months ago, I feel and look like a different person.
I think I was good at avoiding things that hurt, rather than truly dealing with them. WOW, can I just start by saying the people in my life who were there for me throughout my breakup, I love you! I had friends drive from 4 hours away to come and be with me on my birthday after I had arguably one of the worst days of my life.
And I had family call me everyday just to check in on me, listen Looking after yourself after a breakup me, let me cry and offered unconditional love and support. It is really hard for me to reach out and ask for help. I prefer to do things on my own, but I had to learn that it is not only ok, but necessary to lean on people. So lean on them. I spend my days working for myself from home, so it is already a little isolating.
So in the evenings and on weekends, I tried to spend time with friends. After spending one weekend alone, I felt myself getting depressed. I spent it inside and watched TV all day, cried and slept. And I felt myself slipping into depression and so I made a promise to myself to reach out more.
Self care after a breakup is much easier with friends and family. Around mid JanuaryI knew I needed to speak to a professional. But, this was one of the best decisions I ever made. Therapy offered me the opportunity to look at my relationship in a different way. I would recommend therapy to anyone for anything. Of course, it may take a while to find the right therapist for you, but it is worth the time.
If you find yourself dealing with heartbreak or anything else, please seek help. And if you have went to therapy, share it with others. I truly want to help end the stigma that getting help can still have. Everyone goes through things during their Looking after yourself after a breakup and there is nothing wrong with admitting you need help.
Self care after a breakup is much easier when you have a therapist, trust me. Like, no clue, at all. So I said no to dating. I wanted to give myself lots of time to really focus on me, I knew Looking after yourself after a breakup eventually I would feel ready.
There is no right time that I think you need to wait. Personally, it took me over 6 months to feel ready to start dating again. But now, I am in the right mindset and hepace to start dating. I am a pretty shy person when I first meet someone and it takes me a little time to open up, so I have had to recognize that this is ok. But it has also forced me a little to get out of my comfort zone and open up more.
Dating requires a level of vulnerability and until you feel ready to share and be vulnerable, my advice is to say no to dating. Sharing from a scar is a lot different than sharing from an open wound. This is also why I had to give myself some time before sharing more about my breakup.
I needed to really be able to look inwards and gain valuable insights so I can share that with others. Because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to start. Go slow, but also know that dipping your toe in is better than nothing.
Oh and dating can be fun, who knew?! You can about what dating has been like over here. And also about my own sober curious journey. For the first time in the last 14 years, I put my needs ahead of anything else. Instead, I focused on what I wanted and what I needed. I booked a trip in February with my friend to Sayulita, Mexico see pics below and took the week to just relax and have fun in the sun. I also journaled everyday in the beginning of my breakup. I would just write and write and write.
Sometimes, it was s long and it would be a rambling mess but it felt good and that is what mattered. I also stayed consistent with my gratitude journalwhere I wrote down three things I am grateful for everyday.
These things helped me stay focused on me and what I wanted and needed. True self care after a breakup needs to include lots of alone time with a focus on your needs and wants. I also worked Looking after yourself after a breakup lot more than I did before. Not in the beginning, but after a few weeks, I picked up the amount of hours I worked in a day.
Distraction can be a good thing I think as long as you are still taking time to check in on yourself. When you fill your day with things that fill you up and feel purposeful to you, it can completely change your perspective. This app is a game changer! I used it daily to check in, listen to a short lesson on a topic that I chose about my breakup and journal.
You can also track how you are feeling and what self-care practices you implemented that day. The lessons are fairly short, but very helpful and to the point. They also have lots of articles to browse through on the app that I found very useful. I highly recommend this app to anyone going through a breakup.
Self Care After a Breakup: Five Things I Learned