Every parent wants the best for their child - we do everything in our power to provide the best of opportunities to our children. This starts at quite a young age - sending your child to the best schools, giving them access to the best of resources, spending quality time with them to give them the best possible direction, as they grow older, sending them to the best of colleges, and so on and so forth.
In this process, subconsciously or consciously, unintentionally, or sometimes intentionally, we tend to lose perspective. This may happen in two ways -
Living Our Aspirations Through Our Children
Parents living their own dreams through their children is not something new - this is something which is probably as old as time. It is perfectly natural to want our children to have better lives than we did, but sometimes, we end up with passing on our own aspirations to our children.
This may be subconsciously done, but ends up guiding our choices right from the beginning.
As a daycare and online preschool in India, at Morning Glorie, we have often come across parents wondering why other children seem to be ahead of their own child in certain aspects. Could be learning, could be dance, art, sports - there are N number of different skill sets we could be working with.
When we consider this, we should be focusing on three key aspects -
1. Are there concerns regarding any delays in age appropriate landmarks and learning? This is an important aspect, and it is critical for both parents and educators to be aware of every single child's growth and development?
2. Is this about pushing a child beyond their comfort zone, so that their learning cycle is continuous and they themselves become more aware as individuals?
3. Is this comparison more to do with our own aspirations than focusing on the child's own growth?
Celebrating a Child's Individuality and Uniqueness
Times have changed now, and in many ways for the better.
The aspiration of a good life for our children is not wrong. Do remember though, that success and good life can take many forms.
1. Happiness is important too.
2. Life gives many options to pursue and be successful at. It is important to give children the chance to explore everything around them - while measurable learning goals remain important, it is important to focus on everything abstract too. Remember when as little children we would talk about growing up to become teachers or dancers or doctors or astronauts or police or whatever our little imaginations could come up with? Somewhere down the road that changed for many of us as we grew more "practical". Let us give our children the gift of expanding their horizons, not narrowing them down.
3. Not everything is time dependent - giving our children the time and space to grow without feeling the pressure of comparison is not a luxury, it is a necessity towards self growth.
Celebrate the Individuality
Celebrate all that makes our children individual beings, not part of the herd. Instead of comparing landmarks with where others are at, focus on each child's strengths. This starts right at the word go, no age is too young.
Let them carve their own paths, and let us remember as parents and educators to be only the guiding light in their lives.
This is a mantra I have always followed in my own life, even as a child I remember saying this to myself. This is not indicative of one being not social, or unable to work in groups. That is an important part of life. This is more about remembering that I could be a part of a group and yet be different.
Let our children always remember and live this in their lives too.
Our philosophy at Morning Glorie, day care in Gurgaon and online preschool in India is very clear - we must celebrate each child's uniqueness and individuality. This may seem scary, but is also a beautiful adventure.
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Children Learning Philosophies Parenting
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