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Night Time Parenting – July 20
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog Carnival for 2012. For more information on the Breastfeeding Cafe, check out this site. If you would like to participate in this year’s carnival, just post on your personal blog and put a link in the comment section below. To receive email updates for next year, contact Timbra landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about Night Time Parenting. Please read the other posts in today’s carnival listed in the comments section of this post. The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!
Rachel Ricks is the parent of three boys, one of which is due in September. She is also a birth doula and a member of La Leche League. She resides in Ogden. She feels qualified to write on the subject of nighttime parenting first because of her son Owen’s health related circumstances that influenced him to wake every one to two hours a night for over a year and second because of the countless books she has read about attachment parenting, cosleeping, and breastfeeding.
Today’s Prompt: Night Time parenting is a big part of breastfeeding, especially in the early months (and continuing for years sometimes). What does sleep look like in your family? Did you have a similar sleeping arrangement with your own parents? What were your feelings surrounding safety and security at night while growing up? Were there people in your life who encouraged you to choose your sleeping arrangement?
Nighttime parenting in our house is very different from most of the people that I know. We are cosleepers and not only that but we are now well into the phase of toddler nursing. In fact nighttime parenting and breastfeeding are so synonymous with each other that my two and a half year old son Owen, to whom this post is dedicated, has the code word “sleepies” for when he wants to breastfeed. These two parenting techniques which seem simple to me are really foreign to a lot of modern American families.
The other night I was lying down with Owen to help him fall asleep. I reflected on our years of cosleeping and had one of those moments of parenting when you actually know that what you’re doing is right for your family. How wonderful and sporadic those moments are! Of course Owen didn’t notice. He was just trying to find any kind of distraction to get out of having to go to bed. Oh, how I miss those days of simply nursing him down to sleep every night. It was so easy!! But now that he doesn’t often nurse to sleep we have the opportunity to talk to each other. That night we had a great conversation about weaning, growing up, and how important little Owen is to our growing family. I was able to share a lot of love and family values with him and I could tell how proud he was to be a loved member of our family. I love how breastfeeding and co-sleeping has impacted my family. I now believe that nighttime parenting is one of the most important tools we carry as mothers.
So many parents believe in the American traditions of early sleep training, early night weaning, and separated sleeping arrangements. They fear and dread the day that their child gets to sleep in a real bed as opposed to the crib. They think of their children as manipulative when they ask for a drink of water, another kiss, an extra story, and, simply, more of mommy and daddy. I can’t say that I haven’t felt that way myself at times. But, over the years of nursing a child to sleep, often nursing every one to two hours at night, and giving in to the extra kisses, songs, and stories that my children also want, I have learned that our children rely on us to give, give, give, and then give some more. More importantly I have learned that it is a great blessing to give as much as we are asked. I recently read the following quote from The Successful Child, a book by Dr. Sears,
“Investing in your parenting means being willing to devote a significant amount of time and energy to raising your children. Especially in the early years, parents are the givers and babies are the takers. You’re asked to give and give, even when you’re tired or running out of patience. This is a realistic picture of what it takes to raise happy, healthy kids. Although it’s important to take care of your own needs during these early, demanding years of parenthood, for the most part you’re called on to invest yourself highly in your children… You, the parents, grow and mature when you make this kind of investment in your family, and parenting becomes much easier as your investment pays off.”
I have certainly grown and matured as an individual, a mother, a wife, a friend, and so on as my children have taught me to be empathetic, flexible, patient, and kind. I never would have believed so strongly in cosleeping if my children hadn’t wanted to nurse all night. I never would have learned the value of nighttime parenting if my children hadn’t asked for me to stay with them until they fell asleep. And, in a way, I never would have gained the empathy that I have for my children had my parents been more open to my own childhood nighttime needs.
Cosleeping and breastfeeding on demand has been the catalyst to a whole new way of looking at my children and my own capabilities as a parent. It has taught me to respond to my children’s needs quicker and more often. I look forward to bedtime because it means my kids will go to sleep so I can have some time without them AND because it means I get to have that special extra interaction WITH them that I don’t make or have time for during the day.
Nighttime parenting, even without actually cosleeping, gives us as parents precious moments that we would miss out on if we were not open to giving our children a little more of us each night… the snuggles, the conversations as they get older, the quality time, the sweet sleeping faces, the gained confidence that the child receives from knowing that mommy and daddy are always there to provide and protect. Yes, of course if you choose to cosleep there are the kicks, noises, awkward sleep positions, and frequent waking which many parents are uncomfortable with. I understand that. Bedtime routines can include all of the extra love without the habit of cosleeping, but it just happened to be the easiest way for our family to enjoy the benefits of nighttime parenting and breastfeeding.
I believe that when nighttime parenting becomes a positive and integral part of our families we can learn and grow together and feel more united and capable. Nighttime parenting, including nursing on demand through the night, is one of the most stretching experiences I have had as a parent as well as one of the most fulfilling.
Filed under Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival, The Normal Course of Breastfeeding
Tagged as Breastfeeding, cosleeping
Babywearing – July 19
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog Carnival for 2012. For more information on the Breastfeeding Cafe, check out this site. If you would like to participate in this year’s carnival, just post on your personal blog and put a link in the comment section below. To receive email updates for next year, contact Timbra landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about babywearing. Please read the other posts in today’s carnival listed in the comments section of this post. The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!
Ashley Barrett is a wife of a graduate student working towards a PhD in Nuclear Chemistry and a mother of two busy little boys (ages 4 years and 18 months) and three angel babies who she never got the opportunity to meet. She is also homeschooler, a WAHM (owner of Monkey Bunns), LLL leader in Oregon, and founder and leader of Corvallis Babywearers. She got in to babywearing because of an online birth board and had a few carriers when her first son, nicknamed Monkey, was born April 2008. She has become an addict and has a wide variety of different types of carriers. She wants to become an official certified Babywearing Educator in the next year or two.
Today’s Prompt: July 19th: Babywearing is common in many parts of the world and has been for centuries. Do you wear your baby? Why? Have you found it has an effect on your breastfeeding relationship? Did someone else suggest you wear your baby? Did you observe babywearing before becoming a mother? Did your mother or grandmother ever practice baby wearing?
You can also find this post on my own blog at monkeybunnsmama.blogspot.com. Make sure to comment there and here-I love comments!
I got in to babywearing because of an online birth board (a support group through pregnancy and later for our growing baby, infant, toddler, etc). I became very curious about it and started researching it. I ended up purchasing a couple of sized pouch slings and a stretchy wrap (but not a very good one). I planned to start wearing Monkey from the beginning. I tried but he wasn’t a fan at first and I eventually figured out neither of us liked sized slings. I eventually got a stretchy wrap and my love grew from there after it cured his colic.
Kangaroo in a Sleepy Wrap (now known as Boba Wrap)
I have since gained quite the collection but I also gave some away to my friend that didn’t work so great on me but I knew they would on her since she’s quite a bit thinner than me :).
Monkey was never really able to nurse in any baby carrier due to being on a nipple shield through our whole nursing relationship. I was able to work it a couple of times in a ring sling when I needed to have a hand free. Kangaroo on the other hand has nursed several times in different carriers but I think the easiest to nurse in is the Boba for me.
Kangaroo in the Boba-obviously not nursing 🙂
All I have to do to nurse him in it is loosen the waist and pull it down lower to lower him, loosen the shoulders a bit and scootch him down a bit. This is my favorite tutorial of how to do it.
Even though I wasn’t able to nurse Monkey in a carrier it really helped our breastfeeding relationship to keep him close. I remember wrapping, unwrapping, rewrapping the Sleepy Wrap a billion times a day so I could nurse him and then snuggle him. Keeping him close helped me see his hunger cues a lot faster than if he were laying somewhere or tucked away in a carseat (I ALWAYS use a carseat in the car when the car is moving-please practice safe babywearing). When we would go out somewhere it was much easier to put him in a carrier than to lug a big bucket seat around.
I started wearing Kangaroo earlier because I had more options.
Kangaroo, 3 days old
My favorite was a ring sling in those early days. I was able to spend more time with Monkey and while I didn’t nurse in a sling for the first little bit I was able to watch his hunger cues and be able to keep him close and safe (Monkey was a normal rough 2 1/2 year old that REALLY loves his brother!).
Even at 18 months I still believe babywearing helps our breastfeeding relationship because it’s all about trust and him knowing that I’m here for him when he needs me. It’s also very handy to get through a grocery store because my boys LOVE to run two different directions!
And just one more for fun!
When my wrap arrived Monkey really wanted to try it out. He was only in it for a few minutes but is 35 lbs and was super comfy in it. This is a Wrapsody Stretch Hybrid wrap and I did the double hammock carry. It’s my very favorite toddler carry.
Tagged as Babywearing, Breastfeeding
Experiences Nursing in Public – July 17
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog Carnival for 2012. For more information on the Breastfeeding Cafe, check out this site. If you would like to participate in this year’s carnival, just post on your personal blog and put a link in the comment section below. To receive email updates for next year, contact Timbra landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about experiences nursing in public. Please read the other posts in today’s carnival listed in the comments section of this post. The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!
What was your first nursing in public experience? How did this shape your view of breastfeeding and your breastfeeding relationship with your child? Did your mother or grandmother have the same types of experiences?
Today’s guest blogger is Jeana Jones. Jeana is the mother of two, a 3-year-old daughter and a 4-month old son. She volunteers as a La Leche League Leader with La Leche League of Salt Lake City and is the Library Liaison for this year’s Breastfeeding Cafe.
I actually don’t remember my first experience nursing in public. After all, I was probably only a few days old. I do remember my mom nursing my younger sisters, though. She nursed everywhere! My mom taught me that babies don’t know how to be selfish and manipulative. “A baby’s wants are a baby’s needs,” she often said. I grew up knowing that babies need to eat and/or be comforted at the breast quite often and sometimes unexpectedly. Thankfully, nursing is quite easily portable and quickly available, and with a little practice, it can be done while attending religious services, at parties, walking through the grocery store, and sitting on the beach.
Actually, nobody told me it took practice, or if they did, I didn’t hear. “Breastfeeding is easy.” “Breastfeeding is convenient.” “Babies need to nurse all the time, but you can do it anywhere.” “A baby is quiet and happy while nursing in any situation.” These were the messages I grew up hearing, and they really helped shape my views on breastfeeding in public long before I ever became a mother. I never thought of it as strange or something that might offend some people or something that a mother would be uncomfortable doing. It was just how to meet a baby’s needs where and when they needed to be met.
When I first became a mother myself, I wanted a relationship with my child where I could make myself available to her whenever she needed me. For a long time, for me, that meant being close all the time so that I could quickly meet her needs. Our first time nursing in public came when she was two days old, the first day I left the house since she was born. Yes, absolutely, I was crazy for leaving the house so soon after giving birth, but my milk had come in, and I was soaking through nursing pads and shirts right and left, and I went to a maternity store to stock up on some more cloth nursing pads. (And did I mention that I was crazy and could hardly walk and shouldn’t have been up and about, and I was crazy?!?)
I got my daughter latched while we were at our car, and then I carried her in my arms as I walked with both of us covered with a blanket just as I had seen my mother do so many times growing up. On such a cool evening, my daughter nestled in and went to sleep. This went well as we walked from where we parked into the maternity store, but then my daughter let go of her latch. How was I supposed to hold this baby and keep that blanket from getting knocked out of position while putting my shirt back together? Honestly, I don’t even remember how we managed.
I have been through many phases of figuring out how to nurse in public quickly, conveniently, and comfortably. I eventually ditched the blanket and nursed without a cover for the first time at the Breastfeeding Cafe, when my daughter was four months old. Making it work, one way or another, was very important to me so that I could meet my daughter’s needs, and later my son’s needs too, where and when they were needed. I could sing at church while wearing my daughter, and she stayed happy and quiet, latched on almost the whole time. I could keep her warm when we were outside in the cold by nursing her. She could face new situations first at my breast, and then she was less fearful and more willing to face them independently. I didn’t have to worry about her going hungry when we were stuck on an airplane that was delayed, and when she fell down and got hurt, nobody had to listen to her scream for long since she was so quickly comforted by nursing.
As my daughter gets older, the times that we nurse in public have decreased significantly. She is more interested in things outside of me, has learned other ways of coping with little bumps and bruises, and has figured out other ways to seek reassurance from me while handling most new situations. Still, she does better making it through a church service if she can nurse for just a bit in the middle, and there are some situations where she really wants reassurance from me by nursing, regardless of where we are. Nursing my daughter, and now my son as well, regardless of where we are, has been such an important part of of my mothering style. I really don’t know what I would do without it!
Tagged as Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding in Public
by tricialewandowski42 | July 16, 2012 · 10:09 am	
How Birth Effects Breastfeeding – July 16th
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog Carnival for 2012. For more information on the Breastfeeding Cafe, check out this site. If you would like to participate in this year’s carnival, just post on your personal blog and put a link in the comment section below. To receive email updates for next year, contact Timbra landslidephotography {at} hotmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about how birth effects breastfeeding. Please read the other posts in today’s carnival listed in the comments section of this post. The Carnival runs July 16th through the 31st!
Timbra Wiist is a wife & mother to two little girls (ages 6 and nearly 3), one foreign born and one water born. She is a La Leche League leader of 4 years, working with LLL in Murray, UT. Timbra is a photographer who specializes in Breastfeeding Portraits and “the Journey of Motherhood.” When she blogs about breastfeeding she does so at www.bosoms-and-babes.blogspot.com, you can read her other posts during the Carnival, there.
Today’s Prompt: Share your birth experience and how you feel it shaped your first breastfeeding experience, or experiences with each child. Talk with your mother or grandmother, and hear other birth stories (share them too).
I’ve decided not to rewrite, this is the post I’ve put up in the past two years, because my birth story has not changed and it continues to be the birth of me:
The birth of a first child is in essence, the birth of a mother. We have hopes and dreams for our babies, we think we know exactly what kind of mothers we will be and what kind of birth we will have. . . . but until you have experienced birth, until you have been BORN as a mother, it is almost impossible to envision the birth experience you really desire. Second babies have it easy 🙂
Bare with me as I share some of the details of the birth of my first daughter. They are so important to me and to the prompt because as is mentioned in my “bio,” my first daughter was not born in the US. My experience, therefore, with regards to labor, birth and breastfeeding are vastly different from the stories of sterile hospital births I hear about in the US.
Before I was ever pregnant with her, I had intention to birth in a birth center 40 minutes away from my home. I wanted a water birth. However, just weeks prior to becoming pregnant, my husband and I made a decision to move out of the country and gave ourselves a “pregnancy deadline” which would eventually determine her country of birth. Things didn’t go as planned, and in the end, we landed in this new country only FIVE WEEKS before our little girl was “due.” (we should have been there five MONTHS before).
By the time we arrived we’d seen 7 female doctors/midwifes for prenatal care due to our moving around while waiting on visas. Five weeks gave us very little time to interview doctors and research birth options once we finally arrived. In fact, I’d lived in this country once before and was close friends with a Doula (when I was 19 and husbandless and had NO idea what a doula was, what she did or why she might EVER be important or necessary). And from that experience I knew that an out of hospital birth (though it likely happened all the time among the local people) was not a viable option unless I knew someone who knew someone who was either in the country visiting at the time (a doula, a midwife, etc) or had a relative who happened to have a birth pool and attended births. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the kind of time on my side to be able to figure all of that out. The best I had worked out was that a mutual friend put me in contact with another American woman who had given birth to 3 of her 4 children in this country and through her I was able to find someone who fit my ONLY requirement. . . a female doctor! Not a female doctor she’d had experience with, as her own ob/gyn had since retired, but a female ob/gyn nonetheless.
I am SO thankful that the individual who attended to me when I gave birth to my first daughter, was a woman and a MOTHER herself! It’s not common, even in the US, let alone a developing country to have a female ob/gyn attending a birth, but I was fortunate that this one request was filled. My beautiful Dr. Litiana Browne, was a confident 60-something year old Fijian woman.
My husband and I had agreed (ahead of time)to some medications during my labor, as well as requesting an induction so that my family, who had traveled 3000 miles to be there for the birth of this first grandchild/niece, would not have to leave without having met our little girl. Had I known what I now know, I would have made different choices. . . but when you know better, you do better and it was, in essence, the birth we chose and planned with the knowledge and information we had (or chose to have) at the time. Fortunately, none of this seemed to have had adverse affect on the outcome of her birth or our first nursing experience. My birth as a mother was NOTHING like the stories I hear of here in the States. . . .I was induced by a doctor who did not endorse epidurals and actually said to me “How can you be in control of your labor if everyone is standing over you looking down at you?,” (to be clear, I was NEVER interested in one) a woman who (in her 60s) had very few times found need to perform a cesarean. She slept at the hospital all night, waiting on me to have my baby (I was the only woman giving birth in that hospital that night), she wasn’t “on call” at home. There was no other doctor who might end up attending my birth. I was induced at 8am, sent home to be return and be checked in the afternoon, returned to the hospital at 2pm, was sent home again and returned at 6pm at my husband’s request, though I would have preferred to have labored at home for longer, as first timers, we just didn’t know what to expect (during labor with my second daughter, I would learn that my labor patterns easily fooled us, and that I tend to have close and short contractions, so we thought we were much further along in labor than we actually were). A night of medication, some rest, laboring on the ball, having my water broken and finally around 3:30 am, the urge to push. . .
When I said I needed to push, the nurse did not ask me to wait, she asked to check how far dialated I was, and allowed me to begin pushing (never telling me my “number”). . .while squatting. . . before the Doctor ever arrived. When the Doctor arrived she checked my progress (while I was squatting) then stood in another part of the room speaking in their native language and laughing quietly (not about me. . . just talking, because birth was NORMAL) while my husband sat in a chair behind me, being my rock, and I stood and squatted, and pushed and felt my baby’s head crown before anyone else knew her head was coming. A few details are hazy, after I climbed onto the bed and pushed her out with 2 final pushes. . .a head and her body. . .while on “all fours” and I shouted “Do we have a baby?” It was 4:16am!
Despite what I am about to say with regards to how it is taken for granted that a mother WILL breastfeed in this culture, unfortunately, Western birth practices have weaseled their way into all sorts of cultures around the world. My baby’s cord was cut, before I even had a chance to turn over and see her, she was whisked just a few feet away onto a warming table, she was wiped up and checked over and it was an hour before I think I actually held her. . . though, it didn’t feel that long and I don’t remember it being that long, my photos are time stamped so I KNOW it was that long. Part of this was due to my needing stitching. But. . . this was the first time I’d ever had a baby, and I didn’t know anything about delayed clamping, I didn’t take the “immediate skin to skin” stuff I’d read, to heart, and truthfully, I didn’t know if I should be responsible for holding a newborn baby while being stitched up.
I had some tearing, but this culture is not interested in numbers, and so my doctor stitched me without telling me “the degree” of tearing and within the first hour I was able to try to nurse my baby for the first time. After my family came to see her and oogle over her and then left (because they had actually been awake the ENTIRE time I had been awake 8am to 6am at this point) I was able to nurse her again. A nurse-midwife (all the nurses were nurse-midwifes) came to check on us, I said “Am I doing this right?” She said “you have a bit of a flat nipple” perked it up for me (a little odd, but seriously, all pretense is gone after giving birth) and that was that. . . my baby latched and nursed happily. . . for the next few years!!!
In part I believe this is because there is a big push in this particular country to return to breastfeeding. Like many foreign countries, when the US says something is good, others follow. . . . many years later than the US. . . .Formula became the norm for several years, however, in the 10 years prior to the birth of my daughter, education (for nurses) on the importance and superiority of breastfeeding over formula and a push to encourage mothers to breastfeed, had become normal practice (again) in the hospitals. There was no question as to whether I would breastfeed my baby. No one offered me a bottle or pacifier, or was concerned about whether she was eating, no one took her blood sugar levels. . .they didn’t even weigh her for four hours!
They waited 4 hours to weigh her for the first time. I didn’t have to request she not be given a pacifier or formula. I didn’t have to request to room in with her. . . in fact, my husband held our daughter while I was being tended to and when I fell asleep after holding and nursing her for a bit, he held her for two more hours, my husband held my baby because a bassinet just “couldn’t be located” (there were TWO birthing rooms in this hospital, across the hall from one another. . . the “overnight” rooms were not just for moms, they were for people recovering from surgery and illness too. . .AND. . . I was the only person giving birth in the hospital that night. . . there was ONE other baby in the nursery. . .where could all the bassinets have run off to?). So, until my husband was falling asleep, sitting up in a chair, with our newborn infant in his arms, no one helped him, not even a little. 3 hours after her birth, they brought a bassinet and took her to the nursery (one room away) and 15 minutes later I woke up (I guess even after being awake 24 hours straight and giving birth, when a new baby is taken from the presence of a new mom who is dead asleep. . .she knows it!). We immediately went to the nursery, I needed to gawk at that baby some more, and then they bathed and weighed her and she never left my presence again until we checked out (except for 10 minutes for vaccinations).
When I hear about hospital experiences here in the US, I am actually appalled. The sterility, the push for formula, the worry over glucose levels, the shots, the eye goop. . . . (and that’s just AFTER baby comes. . . I am even MORE appalled at all the “red tape” moms go through while in labor, all the encouragements to USE MORE INTERVENTIONS). My experience, though removed from the “natural” way of birthing, was still so much closer to biologically normal, than anything I hear about here in the US.
My second daughter was born in the US, in a water birth, in a birth center, without complication. She latched and nursed within the first half hour as we lay in bed together, we never left one another. Her birth story is simple, from day 3-14 it got much more complicated, but that is not for this post. My first daughter took 15 hours to make her way, technically, my second daughter took 5 days 🙂 I believe that the birth I experienced with my first daughter, with the knowledgeable and assuming experience of a nurse, that I would breastfeed her, set the course for my mothering and my passion for breastfeeding. . .it was uncomplicated and NORMAL.
So. . . in a culture that assumes every woman can and will breastfeed. . . there was no question, there was no option. . .there was just me. . . a newly born mother. . . and her. . . a newly born baby. . . and we were breastfeeding. . .and we were at the beginning of a beautiful journey that I never could have imagined. And I was born. . .
Filed under Birth, Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival, Pregnancy, The Normal Course of Breastfeeding
Tagged as Birth, Blog Carnival, Breastfeeding, Midwife, Mother
by Claire | August 16, 2011 · 12:00 pm	
Favorite Breastfeeding Books
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about your favorite parenting books. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!
In the days of my carefree youth, I was an avid reader. I preferred fiction – the more nonsensical the better. But then I got pregnant, and that changed everything. Suddenly, I was faced with the responsibility of raising my own little person! And so my reading interests shifted to non-fiction, specifically pregnancy, birthing and parenting related. I devoured any book I could get my hands on, in hopes that something might resonate with me to help form my own personal parenting philosophy.
Any parent knows that you cannot possibly understand the joys and challenges of parenting until you hold that baby in your arms for the first time. But reading helped – all that carefully thought out content gave me some inkling of what to expect and helped me feel more confident and prepared. I attribute Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn (Penny Simkin) to a successful natural childbirth experience with Ben and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way (Susan McCutchheon) to another empowering labor with Alex. These two books had some information on breastfeeding, but perhaps more importantly created an environment where an unencumbered mom could apply what she had learned and a drug-free baby could hone in on his instincts to get breastfeeding off to the best possible start. Labor is one component of breastfeeding and by association parenting that I think far too many people overlook.
But on to the real book review – I have three favorites:
This book has it all: breastfeeding information and guidance from a reliable source, to carry you through all ages and stages of the breastfeeding relationship. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is filled with valuable content and practical tips that will help establish and nurture the breastfeeding relationship. As a dietitian, research-based is of the utmost importance to me, and I feel totally comfortable recommending this book to mothers and health professionals alike. It’s my new favorite baby shower gift! If you’re expecting or know someone who is, read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding: Keep It Simple (Amy Spangler)
If The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is the breastfeeding St James version of the bible, Breastfeeding: Keep It Simple is the condensed version. This book power-packs breastfeeding basics into less than 100 pages. If you’re short on time or in need of a quick review, check out Breastfeeding: Keep It Simple.
Parents and siblings alike benefit from “reading up” on breastfeeding. Children books that normalize breastfeeding are a great way to prepare for the frequent nursing that a newborn requires. We Like to Nurse normalizes breastfeeding by sharing beautiful illustrations of animals nursing their young. Ben liked it and that’s the only seal of approval I need to recommend a kid’s book.
These are just a few of the countless breastfeeding books out there. I also highly recommend The Ultimate Book of Breastfeeding Answers (Newman). If you’re in need of something on a more specific topic, the updated Breastfeeding Resource guide will be posted to the Utah Breastfeeding Coalition’s webpage soon.
Today’s guest post is from Cara Munson. Cara is a mother, dietitian and hopefully soon to be IBCLC! She loves anything that involves being outside with her husband and two boys.
Amy @ Anktangle-Book Review and Giveaway: The Nursing Mother’s Companion; Five Winners! {8/30, Worldwide}
Tagged as Book Reviews, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Books, Parenting Books
Breastfeeding, The True Story
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about how you influence others. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!
How do I infulence others to breastfeed? The same way I influence others to do anything else….I tell them it’s horrible.
Okay, so maybe that’s not quite true.
Breastfeeding can be hard. Breastfeeding doesn’t always come easily, quickly, or naturally. When new moms expect to put that baby to breast and have everything work perfectly, they get really frustrated and disappointed.
Expecting my second child, I was terrified. I continually wondered how I was going to juggle breastfeeding my newborn and taking care of my toddler. One of the most comforting things I heard was from my friend Susan. Susan is Supermom. The kind of woman who makes everything look effortless and fun. She is saving the world and baking cookies at the same time.
So, when I was worrying about how to handle the breastfeeding and toddler realm, I called Susan. Susan told me about potty training her toddler while breastfeeding. She told me about her baby “on boob” in the bathroom while wiping her toddler’s bum. The picture of this in my mind was completely absurd. Susan told me it was worse than that. It was horrifying. It was funny. And if Super-Susan could be that absurd, I knew I had a good chance of making this work.
Influencing others to breastfeed is as easy as telling stories. I share my frustrations, so new moms know they aren’t the only ones that didn’t just “get it” right off. I share my absurd stories so they know that they aren’t the only ones losing their calm, cool, together look sometimes. I share my stories of getting help.
I hope my stories will help other moms know where to turn. I want them to know they are not alone. They don’t have to hide under their nursing covers and separate themselves with their struggles. I share my stories so new moms know that they can bare their troubles and breasts to Le Leche League members, lactation consultants, moms who have gone before, the internet community, and to other new moms.
And I share my stories of those wonderful, quiet moments looking into my baby’s eyes, so they know that they are alone in those moments. They are alone with their baby and learning to love in a way they never have before. In those wonderful breastfeeding moments, they are learning to give to their babies. I share my stories so that new moms know that those moments are what carry them through. Those breastfeeding moments are what we remember. Those memories allow us to hold our babies as they grow and throw tantrums, and break things, and turn into children, and teenagers, and adults.
So when a pregnant coworker told me that she didn’t know if she was going to breastfeed, I pulled up a chair and put my feet up. We shared stories for about an hour. We laughed and became friends. When she left for maternity leave, she told me, “I’ve decided I’m going to try breastfeeding. It sounds like I can make it work if I’m flexible. Right?”
When my friend from college was close to the birth of her first baby, she felt alone, scared, and frustrated. We swapped stories over Facebook until we both felt like she could create her own stories, by not doing everything perfectly.
Everyone who has ever had a baby has stories about it. Look at the number of books and blogs about being a mom, having a baby, and breastfeeding. These stories have purpose. These stories are even more meaningful coming from someone close.
So I share. My stories are funny. My stories are absurd. My stories are sometimes sad. But, like every mom, my stories have the power to comfort, guide, and support new moms.
As powerful as my stories are, I also realize that there are stories even more powerful to new moms. So, sometimes, I know that the most influence I can have, whether a new mom is struggling or experiencing wonder, is to listen to her stories. Or to push a new mom to tell her story. My stories may influence, but I hope for successful breastfeeding stories for every new mom. For new moms, their stories are far more powerful than mine.
Today’s guest post is from Shelly Poole. Shelly is a stressed-out mom who breastfed through a new career, graduate school, a divorce, a custody battle, and a toddler. Shelly loves to sleep when she can. As a nurse and mother, she advocates natural birth, breastfeeding, and the art of forgiving yourself as a parent. She lives in Utah with two kids, two dogs, and an incredible community network that keeps her going.
Renee @ Just the 5 of us!-You Can Do It!
Sylko @ Chaotic Mama-Breastfeeding Carnival: Day 14 Final Day
Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes-Influential Parenting
Judy @ Mommy News & Views Blog-Helping Moms to Breastfeed
Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-Knowledge is Power
Laura @ Day by Day in Our World-Influencing Others on Their Breastfeeding Journey
And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Shelly Poole-Breastfeeding, The True Story
Tagged as Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Stories, Influence, Influencing Others to Breastfeed
Reliable Online Breastfeeding Sources
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about reliable breastfeeding resources. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!
The world wide web is filled to bursting with information about breastfeeding. Some of it is up to date, accurate and complete but much of it is outdated, incorrect or influenced by myth, fear and misunderstanding. In order to find accurate and complete information there are three tools that can help you find the proverbial needle in the internet haystack. Evidence based information, online communities and your own instincts are all you need to navigate through the overwhelming amounts of information of the online world.
First off, find sources that offer evidence based advice and information. What is evidence based medicine/practice/information?
“Evidence-based medicine is the conscientious, explicit and judicious use of current best evidence in making decisions about the care of individual patients. The practice of evidence-based medicine means integrating individual clinical expertise with the best available external clinical evidence from systematic research.” — Dr. David Sackett
This variety of information bases its advice on utilizing randomized controlled trial data, risk benefit analysis, statistics and other forms of data to come to conclusions about various practices. This kind of information can be used to make informed decisions about many health and quality of life decisions that we all will be faced with in our lifetimes. Becoming acquainted with this variety of information as well as how to read and understand it is a skill that will prove valuable over and over again.
Secondly, find online breastfeeding advocates and communities that subscribe to a similar parenting style as you subscribe to. Find communities that contain people that you like, trust and enjoy their company (even if their company is only virtual). These communities can be found on FaceBook, Blogger, LiveJournal and many many other online blogging and social networking websites. Take your time in selecting which communities you would like to join. Spend time reading posts and getting a feel for the culture of each community. When you find a community that fits you, engage and enjoy them. Be consistent in your participation. Offer encouragement and kind words of experience and advice where applicable. Be gracious when receiving support and advice. Be a friend, be kind, be respectful and keep your sense of humor. One of the greatest gift you can give yourself is a safe place to feel supported and heard through your hardships and your triumphs!
Lastly and most important is that you must use your heart when deciding what advice will work for you. Regardless of what research, pediatricians or kindly old ladies might tell you, you are the best judge of what is best for you and your family. In the short seventeen months I have been a mother I have found this to be the greatest and most powerful insight. You have the instincts and innate knowledge to know what is right for you and your child. Trust your “mommy heart” and you will be just fine.
Though the copious amounts of information out there can seem daunting to work through, by using your knowledge of evidence based information, your online community connections and your gut instincts you can make quick work of finding the information and support you seek.
Today’s guest post is from Kate Landfair. Kate is a wife, mother and web designer/developer who always has these wise words in her head “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice ” -Peggy O’Mara.
Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl-My Reliable Breastfeeding Soures
Stacy @ A Delightful Home-The one item that relieved my breastfeeding pain (and three favorite online resources)
Laura @ Day by Day in our World-Sorting Good from Bad Breastfeeding Information Online
And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog today is Kate Landfair, MPH-Reliable Online Breastfeeding Resources
Tagged as Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Advice, Mothering Instinct, Online Breastfeeding, Online Breastfeeding Sources