“I hate my life!” 10 ways to start loving it again - Income Throne
We all get down on ourselves sometimes, but if you’re stuck in a rut and thinking “I hate my life”, then it’s time to take action. Psychologist Stanislava Puač Jovanović shares 10 practical ideas to help put your life in perspective and turn things around so you can start loving it again…
I lived in that state for many years. And I do not mean a teenage “I hate my life!” exclamation when you embarrass yourself in front of the entire class. I’m talking about the darkest loathing of every waking moment. I know how your soul grows black when you feel inescapably hopeless and helpless.
If you hate your life, it’s time to take steps to change it
2. Determine what’s in your power to change
When you’re done with the soul-searching from the first step, you should analyse the situation. What is it that you can control and change? What is out of your hands?
For example, if you’re in an abusive relationship, there’s little point in trying to make the abuser change. However, you can transform your perspective on things. You can gradually start refusing to think about your life and yourself as they dictate. Their insults do not have to be the building blocks of your identity.
Whatever your situation may be, chances are, the previous step led you to realise your thoughts are always in your hands. Indeed, it’s the one thing we can always control.
“Come up with alternative statements and start thinking them instead of the negative ones. For example, replace ‘I hate my life’ with ‘It’s in my power to create the life I want.”
If you’re in a situation that makes you hate your life, maybe you need to work on forgiveness. An extensive review of studies on forgiveness found that if we find it in ourselves to replace the unforgiving emotions with empathy and compassion, our bodies and minds heal.
However, if you’re fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Focus on all of the good things in your life. Indeed, even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for.
It may be your memories and the wonderful moments you’ve had in the past. It could be your inner strength and perseverance. Look at nature and cherish its beauty. Take a moment to watch the morning and be thankful for seeing it. Savour. Then move gradually towards recognising other positives in your life — friends, family, your home, your job… find the good in everything you can.
Comparing yourself to others can make you vulnerable to anxiety, low self-esteem and depression. We’re naturally inclined to compare ourselves to others. Social media make it very difficult not to. However, what people showcase online is carefully corrected and selected to display only the best features.
“However, if you’re fed up with the hatred of your life, start practising gratitude. Even in the darkest moments, there is something to be grateful for.”
Search for the activities that give you something called flow, a phrase coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Flow is a state in which you get lost in an activity. You stop noticing time passing, and you’re absorbed in what you’re doing. Csikszentmihalyi’s research concluded that the more ‘flow’ you have in your life, the more resilience, well-being, and fulfilment you will enjoy.
Embrace family when you’re feeling low in life shutterstock/AlessandroBiascioli
When you’re in a state of loathing your life, it often becomes difficult to take good care of yourself. However, the mind-body connection goes two ways. When you’re sleep-deprived, sick, and physically weak, you become psychologically vulnerable, too.
After all of the steps above, you’re probably ready to make an action plan. Identify what makes you unhappy. Commit to making small steps to improve things. Each day, ask yourself: “What is it that I can do to move closer to my goal today?”
Yes, you only get to live once. So, does it make any sense to hate your life? Is it not wiser to try and change it around? It may take some time, but if you use the rock bottom you’re at right now to push yourself back to the surface, you will be able to say: “I survived”. You will start to love living again and enjoy every moment of it. •
Please note that the “I hate my life” sentiment might be a symptom of clinical depression. If you experience any of the signs of this emotional disorder, make sure to reach out to your local mental health services. In the US, you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline for free and confidential support. Use Lifeline Chat or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). In the UK, call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: jo@samaritans.org for a reply within 24 hours. You can also text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you are under 19.