Help for Empty Nest Moms: 5 Best Ways It Is Not Impossible
Letting go of the limiting belief that it will be impossible to overcome empty nest syndrome is a help for empty nest moms. As new empty nest moms we often believe we are trapped – trapped in circumstances that make it impossible to move forward after our kids leave home. We worry we are too old, have too much baggage, and have too many obligations. We think we don’t have enough money or time. Changing our mindset from impossible to possible is a crucial stage in a journey toward a fulfilling empty nest.
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What issues are you facing which make you believe it is impossible to envision a fulfilling and even fun empty nest?
It is easy to think we are too old to achieve and experience new things. Our bodies are nothing like they were when we were in our twenties. There may be a handful of things we are indeed too old to do like… become an astronaut. But your age is mostly just a number. It does not define you. It does not dictate how you feel or what you do. How you feel and what you do is going to be determined by your health, your perseverance, and your willingness to step out in faith more than by the year of your birth. You can’t completely control your health, but you can take steps to avoid jeopardizing it.
If you believe you are too old to do anything meaningful, read the story of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 12-25. They started out on a journey to a new land to build a new nation when they were 75 and 65. You don’t need to know exactly where you are headed right now, but you do need to take some steps to move forward.
I HAVE TOO MANY OBLIGATIONS
We all have obligations like – work or aging parents. But some obligations are the result of overly needy people. Sometimes we have an adult child who refuses to take responsibility for themself or a coworker we are always covering for. We may feel so completely drained by these people that we have no energy for ourselves. And the thought of putting up boundaries causes us to feel guilty.
While I would never advocate a “me, me, me, and only me, talk to the hand” approach, we are never called by God or anyone else to be manipulated or have no boundaries. When we allow others to use us for their own gain or to avoid consequences, we are not serving them. We are codependents in their problems. It may not be easy or fun, but you may need to unentangle yourself from people who are holding you back.
Do you want a new season of hope and purpose, but believe the lie that “your past is your future?” Do you wake up every day weighed down by guilt and shame from decisions, sins, and even trauma you did not cause? Others have long since forgotten about it. They wake up every day thinking about themselves and their issues – not yours. No one has “cancelled” you except you!
Regardless of any circumstances, whether you caused them or not, you are not limited by them. You are allowed to be happy. You are allowed to be at peace. You are allowed to have a fulfilling future.
I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME OR MONEY
Money and time are resources and you are spending them somewhere. If you are spending all of yours on things you don’t want to spend them on, it is time for a change. Make sure you are tracking both and figure out where you need to reprioritize and reallocate.
I DON’T FEEL CALLED TO ANYTHING OR HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO
A few months after I dropped my oldest off at college, I began to think about my future. I mostly thought, “What on earth am I going to do with myself in five years when all of my children are away at school?” From that thought Almost Empty Nest was born. It occured to me others were going through this same journey and perhaps I could write my experiences down to help others. I set up this website on a complete whim. I had no plans for where it was headed.
Pay attention to the gentle nudges, the whims, the crazy ideas that pop into your head. They may be nothing or six years from now you may have a full-time business based on that crazy idea.
Nothing is impossible with God. It does not matter how old you are, how little money you have, how bad your physical and mental health are, how little time you have to think about your future, or what has happened up to this point – nothing is impossible. Letting Go of the belief that it is impossible is the best help for empty nest moms.
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