Is Your Partner A Soulmate Or A Wound-mate? - betterifyouknow
There are different phases of life, and different shades that we go through. Along with all these shades we meet all sorts of people. Some connect to us on a shallow surface, some a little deeper than that and some connect to us beyond all those boundaries. We make friends, some stay as acquaintances and then there are some that we end up having an intimate relationship with. And a deeper and greater bond involves long conversations, sharing moments with each other, growing together and at the same time understanding how two people think individually and together. As time passes and how the bond gets stronger, the reciprocity of emotions leads us to find a soulmate in someone.
Among all things, commitment towards that certain soulmate is the easiest thing to do.
Now the real test is whether one can live with that commitment without losing love. Love has to go hand in hand with the commitment you are giving a person. When we see the positive and bright side of this world and the things in it, we cannot forget that the sun always goes down. There cannot be sun all year long and it cannot rain forever either. Pain is an essential part of life and nothing comes easy. In the beginning things are relatively easier, considering two people are getting to know each other. It’s called the honeymoon phases for a reason, as love is in the air and a person is to some degree so happy that they are blind to the flaws of the other person.
Finding someone who is magical for you, and how it makes you feel so complete and fulfilled, that we do not see when the paradigm shifts. Everything clicks, how the thoughts are on the same wavelength, how interests match and you seem to find each other’s company fulfilling. But as time passes, the differences and problems start to arise. And our dreams are shattered once again to know that someone we thought to be our soulmate just might be hurting us and is exactly the opposite of that. Disappointment takes over us like a dark cloud, yet we are in denial and do not want our dreams to be shattered instantly.
At the end of the day it is not exactly someone’s fault. It’s pretty simple, no human being is perfect. We are all flawed in our own ways. And in the complexity of nature and how relationships and bonding evolves, we through that course understand if someone is actually good for us or not. If there are differences that arise, are they the kind that can be worked on or is it a lost cause.
What we are right now is a mixture of nature and nurture and our experiences make us who we are.
We have triggers attached to our memories, traumas and our way of functioning is also different. There is so much that can and can’t be fully understood about a person and why they are the way they are and what truly governs their behavior.
There are many people who keep telling us that time heals everything, but that is not entirely true. We might be social animals and keep moving forward, one step at a time. But that does not mean, that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. What doesn’t kills us, makes us wish it did and gives us unhealthy coping mechanisms before it makes us stronger. We might develop issues and triggers that surface when they are given the right kind of environment or emotional stimulus.
Entering into a relationship and running it are two very different things. It is exactly when we are living together, that we find out what truly is deep down inside. Even the ugly, dark and twisted. That is when the façade falls off, and we are exposed to the raw – real self of our partner. Not everyone can take that, that you initial image that you were in love with is tainted. But if that person is your soulmate in real, you will feel the energy. Regardless of your happiness and problems, there will be an energy. A sense, a gut feeling that tells you what is in actuality good for you and what is not.
At any point in time if our inner demons get the best of us, we do not know that our soulmate might start going against us. And if that happens, will we have the strength in us to leave what is not meant to be? We have tools in our hands, to hurt and to mend that hurt also. But nothing is a one way road, and willingness on both parties is required. There are times when the other party does not want to rectify their behavior, they don’t want to help themselves and consequently others. That turns into an impasse in a relationship because you are not working towards making things better. With love, compassion, understanding, patience, endurance and consistency one can mend and heal what is broken in people. Harness the positive energy, and repel the negative ones. But that does not mean that soulmates will not feel each other’s negative vibes. They will, because a coin has two sides.
People can be very harsh, come on strong and sometimes be abusive and violent.
Respect is a very integral part of any relationship. And when there is respect involved, there are a lot of space there for positivity. And that way two people can come through a lot in life, and be better and stronger each day. But there are many times that these things go wrong, on partner channels their negative energy more and refuses to work towards any betterment due to any reason being weakness. They project on you and instead of making things better, they make them worse. Or even sometimes ugly.
But at the end of the day, you need to be self-aware of yourself, and how others are and why they behave the way they do. And not take everything so personal, and try your best to be happy, strong and positive.