Ernest P. Worrell
Ernest, almost always dressed in a denim vest and baseball cap, appeared at the door of an unseen and unheard, but seemingly unwilling, next door neighbor named Vern. The spots were structured in a way to allow the viewer to be "Vern" as Varney looked directly at the camera whenever Vern was addressed. Ernest's seemingly pointless conversations with Vern – which were actually a monologue due to Vern never responding – inevitably rambled around to a favorable description of the sponsor's product, followed by his signature close, "KnowhutImean?" While Vern is never shown to ever say anything, it is implied that he finds Ernest to be an unwelcome pest due to him trying to slam his door in Ernest's face on a few occasions. Vern also shakes his head no whenever Ernest invites him to do something. Despite having good intentions, Ernest is utterly oblivious to Vern's apparent distress regarding him and always regards Vern as his closest friend and confidant.