The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
172want to skip ahead to the sections on assertive communication in chapter 10 to prepare 
yourself for this kind of interaction. It’s important that potential conﬂict situations be 
dealt with assertively rather than with aggression, which is likely to escalate the other 
person’s anger.
It may seem rude to do things purposefully that will inconvenience others. On the 
other hand, as you continue to read this section, you will see that most of these practices 
involve only minor inconvenience to other people, and many of these are situations that 
people often encounter anyway. The substantial gains that you may obtain from these 
practices are likely to outweigh any inconvenience that you create for others.
Listed below are some examples of practices that others have found useful for 
becoming more comfortable with conﬂict situations:
UÊAsk someone else to change his or her behavior . For example, ask your 
roommate to wash his or her dishes rather than leaving dirty dishes lying 
around. Or, ask another person to stop talking in a movie theater.
UÊStay stopped in your car for a few seconds when the light turns green . 
Pretend you are changing the radio station or that you didn’t notice the 
light turn green. The drivers who are backed up behind you eventually may 
become frustrated and honk their horns. This should be your signal to drive 
away.
UÊSay no when you don’t want to do something . If someone asks you to do 
something that you don’t want to do (for example, donate money that you 
can’t afford, purchase an item from a telemarketer, do more than your fair