Communicating More Effectively
213touch if it can be done naturally, in a way that doesn’t seem overly forced. 
Note that the appropriate use of touch varies between men and women and 
across cultures. It may also be frowned on in professional settings.
UÊPay attention to detail . When telling stories, take your cues from others 
when trying to decide how much detail to include. See how detailed others 
are in their conversations, and model your own conversations after them. If 
you notice that others are starting to look bored or look at their watches 
while you tell a story, take that as a sign that it’s time to wrap it up. On the 
other hand, make sure your conversation is not completely devoid of details. 
Either too much detail or not enough detail can make a conversation less 
engaging.
UÊGive and receive compliments . When complimenting others, make sure you 
are honest (don’t say you like something if you don’t), and don’t overdo 
it. Although it’s nice to receive a compliment from time to time, it can be 
uncomfortable to receive too many compliments or to receive compliments 
that are felt to be undeserved. If you receive a compliment from someone 
else, simply say thank you. Don’t discount the compliment or make the 
other person feel bad for giving it.
UÊPay attention to your nonverbal behaviors . For example, make eye contact 
and speak so the other person can hear you.
Asking Questions
Asking the other person questions will communicate that you are interested in what 
he or she has to say. You can ask about your conversation partner’s experiences (for 
example, “How was that restaurant you went to last night?”) or you can ask for the other