The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
114“Should” Statements
“Should” statements  are incorrect or exaggerated assumptions about the way things ought 
to be. Statements that include words like “always,” “never,” “should,” and “must” are 
often “should” statements. Sometimes, the tendency to use words such as these is a sign 
of having overly rigid and perfectionistic expectations for yourself or for others. Here 
are some examples:
Examples of “Should” Statements
UÊI should never feel nervous around other people.
UÊI must never let my anxiety show.
UÊI should never make mistakes.
UÊI must never inconvenience other people.
UÊOthers should never think badly about me.
UÊI ought never to do anything to draw attention to myself.
UÊOthers must never tease me or laugh at something that I have done.
UÊI should always be interesting and entertaining to others.
UÊI must do things perfectly so everything is just right.
In the space below, list examples from your own life of unreasonable expectations 
(“shoulds”) that you hold for yourself or others:
Catastrophic Thinking
Catastrophic thinking  (also known as catastrophizing ) is the tendency to assume that if a 
negative event were to occur, it would be absolutely terrible and unmanageable. From 
time to time, we all make mistakes, offend others, or look foolish. One difference 
between people who are socially anxious and those who are not particularly anxious is 
how they deal with these unfortunate social events. People who have very little social 
anxiety are often able to say to themselves, “Who cares what this person thinks? I have