The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
212or an introduction (“I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is . . .”). Other appropriate 
topics include: hobbies, your job, a movie or TV show you recently saw, the weather, 
something you recently read, your vacation, a recent shopping trip or outing, and sports. 
After you’ve been talking for a while, it may be appropriate to discuss more controversial 
topics, such as politics, relationships, personal feelings, difﬁcult family situations, and 
topics related to sexuality. However, you should introduce topics such as these slowly, 
and gauge the other person’s reactions before deciding how far to take the conversation. 
Try to avoid getting too personal, unless you know the other person well or the other 
person is disclosing similar types of personal information. At a party or on a ﬁrst date, 
it’s ﬁne to talk about your work or what your parents do for a living, but it is usually best 
to stay clear of weighty topics (like a past sexual assault, a recent history of depression, 
and so on).
Improving the Quality of Your Conversations
Here are a few tips for improving your conversations:
UÊConversations are a two-way street . It’s not enough to just listen to another 
person. Nor is it appropriate to talk only about yourself without giving the 
other person a chance to speak. Of course, there are exceptions. There are 
some people who are very happy to have you do all the talking or allow 
them to do all the talking. However, for most of us, a conversation is far 
more interesting if we have the opportunity to express our own thoughts, 
feelings, and experiences and also the chance to listen to another person’s 
views and experiences.