Communicating More Effectively
221After you communicate your message in terms of these three components, you need 
to make sure that you give the other person a chance to express his or her perspective 
on the situation. Make sure you take advantage of the active listening skills that were 
discussed earlier in this chapter.
In addition to these basic assertiveness skills, there are a number of other strategies 
that may help you to deal with conﬂict situations:
UÊMake sure that you choose an appropriate time to talk about the situation. 
Don’t put it off indeﬁnitely. On the other hand, don’t talk about the issue 
during the height of your anger. Also, don’t insist that the issue be discussed 
right away if the other person is busy or unwilling to talk. Sometimes it’s 
best to schedule a meeting at a mutually convenient time and to discuss the 
matter then.
UÊMake sure that you challenge the beliefs that contribute to your anxiety, 
anger, or hurt feelings. As discussed in chapter 6, our feelings are inﬂuenced 
by our beliefs, and our beliefs may be exaggerated or unrealistic at times. 
In other words, the situation may not matter as much as you think it does. 
When discussing the situation with the other person, try to maintain your 
cool by thinking about the situation realistically.
UÊBefore confronting a situation, decide whether it is worth it. Is it a situation 
that matters? Will it take care of itself, even if you don’t say anything? For 
example, if your difﬁcult neighbor is moving away next week, perhaps it’s 
not important to complain about the way he or she maintains the lawn.
UÊTry bouncing your thoughts off a neutral third party. Hearing another per -