CHAPTER 10
Communicating  
More Effectively
Are there times when your behavior communicates to others a message that’s different 
from what you are trying to communicate? Do you freeze up in interviews? Do you tend 
to avoid eye contact when talking to other people? Does your body language tell others 
to stay away ? Do you read your presentations verbatim so you don’t make any mistakes? 
Do others often feel as though you aren’t listening to them? Do people misinterpret 
your shyness as a sign of aloofness or a snobby attitude? This chapter is all about how 
to communicate effectively and to get your message across in the way you intend.
GETTING YOUR MESSAGE ACROSS
For some people, a consequence of avoiding social situations is never having the oppor -
tunity to master the communication skills that would help them deal effectively with 
others. For example, if your fear has stopped you from applying for jobs or asking people 
out on dates, you may not always know how to best deal with these situations (what to 
say, what to wear, how to behave, and so on). The ability to interact effectively with 
other people must be learned and it takes practice, just like learning to play the piano or 
training to run a marathon. As you get more experience being in the situations you avoid, 
and learning what works and what doesn’t, your performance is likely to improve. This 
chapter provides ideas for enhancing the quality of your interactions with other people. 
Most of these strategies can be used during the course of your situational  exposure 
practices (chapters 7 and 8).