UÊTry bouncing your thoughts off a neutral third party. Hearing another per -
son’s views regarding the issue may help you to see things in a different 
way. This can be particularly useful to determine whether your expectations 
about the situation are distorted.
UÊTry to understand the other person’s perspective. Like you, the other indi -
vidual is just trying to survive the best way that he or she can. Hostility 
and anger often are triggered by feelings of threat or hurt. If you develop an 
empathic understanding of the other person’s perspective and beliefs, you 
will have a greater chance of ﬁnding a compromise and resolving the con -
ﬂict, particularly if the other person can see that you are genuinely trying 
to understand.
UÊConsider writing a letter to the other person. Sometimes it’s easier to com -
municate your thoughts and feelings in writing. However, even in a letter, 
you should use an assertive communication style rather than a passive or 
aggressive one. It is usually best not to use e-mail in these situations.