Changing Your Anxious Thoughts and Expectations
113Examples of Personalization In Reality
At a friend’s birthday party, I 
was talking to another guest 
and we ran out of things to 
talk about very quickly. I think 
the conversation ended so fast 
because I am so boring and 
can’t think of things to say.In reality, other factors that may have contrib -
uted to the situation include (1) the other person 
couldn’t think of anything to talk about, (2) I had 
nothing in common with the other guest, even 
though neither of us is actually boring, and (3) it 
is normal for many conversations at parties to end 
fairly quickly. Nobody was at fault.
The fact that my boss got 
angry at me for making a 
mistake is proof that I am 
incompetent.In reality, other factors that may have contrib -
uted to the situation include (1) my boss is always 
getting angry at people, so I shouldn’t feel singled 
out, (2) my boss’s expectations are too high (I 
know that not every boss in the world would have 
yelled at me for making a mistake; part of why my 
boss became angry had to do with his own  
expectations, rather than me making a mistake), 
and (3) there are many reasons why people make 
mistakes besides incompetence.
People were falling asleep 
during my presentation, 
proving once again that I am a 
really boring speaker.In reality, other factors that may have contributed 
to the situation include (1) the topic was somewhat 
dry and would have been difﬁcult for any speaker 
to make exciting, (2) the presentation was late in