The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
128support after giving a presentation? What if your friend expressed many of the same 
thoughts that you experience when you are in a feared social or performance situation? 
What might you say?
For example, what if your friend said to you, “I totally blew my presentation. My 
voice was trembling, and at one point I even lost my train of thought. I’m sure I looked 
like a complete idiot.” How would you respond to your friend? Most likely you would say 
something like, “You probably did better than you think. Even if you did look anxious, 
people probably didn’t care.” Or, perhaps you would say something like, “I also feel very 
anxious during presentations. It feels very uncomfortable in the moment, but eventually 
it passes.”
It is often much easier to challenge someone else’s anxious thoughts than it is to 
challenge your own. Therefore, we suggest that you try coping with your own anxious 
thoughts by mentally “stepping out” of the situation for a moment. Imagine that it is 
someone else (perhaps a close friend or family member) who is experiencing the anxiety. 
What might you tell him or her? Taking the perspective of a close friend may help you 
to challenge your own anxious thoughts.
Another helpful method of shifting perspectives is to imagine how you might judge 
someone else who exhibits the same anxious behaviors that you do. For example, if you 
are worried that others might criticize you if your voice become shaky, you might ask 
yourself, “Am I critical of other people when I notice their voice shaking?” Most likely, 
you would not assume someone else to be incompetent, stupid, or weak just because he 
or she seems a bit shy or anxious in a particular situation. Well, the same is true of other