The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
56their share of the work? Most people sometimes ﬁnd it difﬁcult to deal directly and 
assertively with situations like these. However, the more difﬁculty that you have in situ -
ations that call for assertive communication, the more you have to gain from learning 
assertiveness skills.
Body language, tone of voice, and eye contact.  Do you have difﬁculty making eye contact 
with other people? Does your tone of voice or body language send the message that you 
are not open to interacting with others? Behaviors that convey such messages may include 
speaking very quietly or letting your voice drop off at the end of your sentences, standing 
far away from other people when you’re talking with them, answering questions with very 
short responses, and displaying a “closed” body posture (such as crossing your arms and 
legs). Although you may use these behaviors to protect yourself in social situations, they 
may actually have the opposite effect by turning others away. If you send the message to 
others that you are unavailable, they will be more likely to leave you alone.
Conversation skills.  Do you have difﬁculty knowing what to say when talking to people 
at work or school? Is it hard to know how or when to end conversations? Do you ﬁnd 
it difﬁcult to know where the ﬁne line is between appropriate self-disclosure and talking 
too much about yourself? Do you often offend other people with comments that you 
make? If you have difﬁculty making small talk or engaging in casual conversations, you 
may beneﬁt by working on improving these skills.
Meeting new people.  Do you have difﬁculty knowing what to say when you want to