Communicating More Effectively
225people are most attracted to those who are similar to them with respect to values, appear -
ance, interests, and other attributes. Being aware of your own interests and attributes will 
help you to know what you are looking for in another person. In addition, being the type 
of person who you would like to meet will help you to attract that person. To meet the 
right person, you need to make a point of being in places where that person is likely to 
be. For example, if you’re interested in meeting someone who loves reading, then make a 
point of spending time in the library, visiting bookstores, or attending book signings.
NETWORKING 
One very helpful activity for meeting new people is called networking. Networking 
can be deﬁned as an exchange of information or services among individuals or groups. 
As we mentioned earlier, more than two thirds of married people are introduced to their 
spouses by a third person (Laumann et al. 1994). Therefore, let your friends and family 
know that you are interested in meeting someone. If nothing romantic develops, you may 
add to your circle of friends. By adding new friends (without actually giving up on old 
friendships), you will increase your chances of ﬁnding a partner.
FIRST DATES 
When you do meet someone who interests you, the initial date can be quite infor -
mal. For example, you might go for a walk during a break at work, run an errand together 
between classes, or offer the person a ride home. After you’ve had more contact with 
the person, you could suggest a more formal outing, like going out for lunch or dinner, 
seeing a concert or movie, or visiting a gallery or museum. If you are a student, you