Shyness and Social Anxiety
21UÊOffering to help with the dishes at a party in order to avoid talking to the 
guests
UÊMaking an excuse to get off the telephone with a friend or coworker
UÊDistracting yourself from your anxious thoughts
UÊHaving the room dark during your presentation in order to keep the audi -
ence focused on the slides rather than on you
UÊFilling out a check before arriving at a store in order to avoid having to write 
in front of others
UÊAvoiding eye contact and talking very quietly during conversations with 
others
UÊWearing makeup and a turtleneck sweater to hide your blushing
UÊAlways attending the ofﬁce holiday party with a close friend, spouse, or 
other safe person, even though other guests usually attend alone
UÊAlways arriving for meetings early to ensure that it will not be necessary to 
enter the room after everyone else is already seated
UÊHaving a couple of glasses of wine before meeting another person for a 
date
Interactions Among the Three Components
The cycle of fear and anxiety can begin with any of the three components we’ve 
just discussed. For example, you may be talking to a colleague at work when you notice 
yourself perspiring slightly (physical component). That may lead to anxious thoughts 
about whether your colleague is noticing your sweaty brow and wondering if there is 
something wrong with you (cognitive component). As your anxiety increases, the inten -
sity of your physical sensations increases and you continue to think anxious thoughts. 
Eventually, you may make an excuse to leave the situation (behavioral component).
Alternatively, the cycle may begin with the cognitive component. For example,