Communicating More Effectively
211CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS
Do you often struggle to ﬁnd things to say when making casual conversation or small 
talk? Do you keep quiet at parties or meetings because you ﬁnd it difﬁcult to contribute 
to conversations? When you do get involved in a conversation, perhaps you ﬁnd that 
the discussion ﬁzzles quickly, as you and the other person run out of things to say. In 
this section, we discuss ways of starting and ending conversations, as well as methods 
of improving the quality of your conversations. These suggestions may be adapted for 
different types of conversations, including talking to a coworker or classmate, conversing 
on a date, or speaking with a stranger while waiting in line.
Keep in mind that the suggestions in this section are not always going to work 
smoothly. For example, if you start talking to someone in an elevator, the person may 
respond positively or may frown and ignore you. If an individual responds negatively 
when you try to make contact, remember that it’s not necessarily because you did some -
thing wrong. The other person may be shy or may be concerned about his or her safety 
(having been raised never to talk to strangers). Also, it’s possible that your communica -
tion will be misunderstood. If things don’t work out during a particular practice, try to 
understand why and to ﬁgure out what you can do differently next time. Learning from 
your experiences will help you to plan future practices that are more likely to work out 
satisfactorily.
Finally, if you want to learn more about making conversation, we recommend that 
you read the third edition of Alan Garner’s book, Conversationally Speaking: Testing New Ways