The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
210times may make others feel uneasy. Unfortunately, it is impossible to specify the appro -
priate intensity for each of these behaviors because so many variables play a role. What 
is appropriate in one situation is not necessarily appropriate in another. For example, 
although it’s okay to stand several inches away from a romantic partner during an inti -
mate conversation, you probably would want to stand farther back when talking to a 
coworker. With respect to nonverbal communication, there are differences across gender 
and across cultures. Therefore, we suggest that you experiment with using different 
nonverbal behaviors to ﬁnd out what works best for you in the particular situations that 
you encounter from day to day.
Closed nonverbal behaviors  are behaviors that close the channels of communication by 
sending the message that the opportunity for contact or communication with you is unavail -
able. Below is a list of closed nonverbal behaviors often associated with social anxiety:
UÊLeaning back while sitting (vs. leaning forward)
UÊStanding far away from another person (vs. standing closer)
UÊAvoiding eye contact (vs. making appropriate eye contact)
UÊSpeaking quietly (vs. speaking at a volume that is easily heard)
UÊCrossing arms (vs. keeping arms uncrossed or making hand gestures)
UÊClenching ﬁsts (vs. keeping hands open)
UÊMaintaining a serious facial expression (vs. smiling warmly)
UÊSpeaking with a timid tone (vs. speaking with a conﬁdent tone)
UÊSitting hunched over (vs. sitting up straight)
Exercise: Open Behaviors
Do you tend to overuse any of these behaviors? If so, try to replace some of your closed