The Shyness & Social Anxiety Workbook
118Liam:   If I am unlovable, I am bound to be alone forever.
Therapist:    So, to summarize, you seem to be saying that (1) if another person turns 
down your invitation for a date, it means that she ﬁnds you unattractive, (2) 
if another person ﬁnds you unattractive, then everyone will ﬁnd you unat -
tractive, (3) being turned down for a date means that you are unlovable and 
destined to be alone forever. Do you think of yourself as unlovable?
Liam:    I think I do. Part of me knows it isn’t true, but much of the time I just can’t 
shake that belief.
HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR ANXIOUS THOUGHTS 
AND PREDICTIONS
In chapter 3, we discussed strategies for identifying your anxious thoughts. We suggest 
that you review the relevant passages in chapter 3 on identifying anxious thoughts before 
trying to use the techniques discussed in the remainder of this chapter. There is no point 
trying to change your anxious beliefs unless you are clear about the content of these 
beliefs. In addition to reviewing the anxious thoughts recorded in chapter 3, identify -
ing your anxious beliefs, predictions, and assumptions should be an ongoing process. 
Whenever you ﬁnd yourself in an anxiety-provoking situation, try to identify the speciﬁc 
thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your discomfort. In most cases, you can identify 
your anxious predictions and assumptions by asking yourself a series of questions such 
as the following:
UÊWhat am I afraid will happen in this situation?
UÊWhat do I fear that the other person will think about me?