allows	us	to	play	the	game	of	life	with	the	full	deck	of	cards.
Go
	
Deeper
Understanding	What	We	Learned	Early	On
Most	of	us	learn	how	to	cope	with	our	feelings	while	growing	up.	We
model	ourselves	based	on	what	our	parents	did,	what	they	told	us	about
how	to	handle	negative	feelings,	or	how	they	interacted	with	us	when	we
were	upset.	These	messages	can	play	out	over	a	lifetime	and	go
unchallenged.	For	example,	Juan,	a	client	I	worked	with,	came	to	see
that	whenever	he	was	upset	his	parents	told	him	he	was	fine	and	not	to
worry.	Although	well	meant,	this	only	increased	his	upset	because	he	had
no	outlet	to	talk	through	what	was	bothering	him	so	he	could	problem
solve	the	situation	and	find	true	relief.
Take	some	time	to	think	through	what	may	be	helpful	or	unhelpful	in
what	you	learned	growing	up	about	managing	your	emotions.	In	your
notebook,	write	about	any	or	all	of	these	prompts	that	resonate	with	you.
•
	
Did	your	caregivers	express	emotions?	Did	they	cry	or	get	angry?	Or
did	they	seem	to	have	a	tight	lid	on	their	emotions	and	rarely
expressed	frustration	or	sadness?
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