statements/comments	to	the	group.
Another	client,	Alisha,	obsessively	worried	that	her	boyfriend	would
break	up	with	her.	To	prevent	these	feelings,	she	sought	out	constant
reassurance	from	him	that	he	would	always	be	there	for	her.	Like	a	drug,	she
needed	another	and	then	another	hit	of	reassurance.	She	wanted	to	feel	safe
and	secure	in	the	relationship.	So	we	targeted	her	tendency	to	seek
reassurance.	She	agreed	to	reduce	requests	for	reassurance	by	25	percent	and
committed	to	simply	riding	out	any	resulting	anxiety	spike.	In	this	way	she
would	not	have	to	go	cold	turkey	but	could	begin	to	adjust	bit	by	bit.	It
worked.	Alisha	started	to	see	that	she	could	manage,	and	even	let	go	of,	her
fears	for	longer	and	
longer
	
periods	of	time.	And	it	helped	Alisha’s	partner	feel
less	burned	out	and	more	compassionate	toward	her.
Tackling	avoidance	requires	pinpointing	target	behaviors.	The	table	lists	a
few	examples	of	goals	and	how	to	change	your	behavior	to	reach	them.
GOAL
TARGETED	BEHAVIOR	CHANGE
Increase	social	connection/closeness
with	people
Initiate	social	outings;	increase	eye	contact	in	social
situations
Increase	capacity	for	public
speaking
Every	work	meeting,	talk	for	at	least	three	minutes:	ask	a