and	again	to	ensure	we	haven’t	missed	anything.	We	triple-check	that	the
stove	burners	are	off,	or	that	the	doors	are	locked	every	time	we	leave	the
house.	We	seek	reassurance,	asking	ourselves	and	the	people	around	us,	“Are
you	sure	you	still	love	me?”	“Have	I	done	everything	I	can?”	“Will	my	child
be	safe?”	“Do	they	think	poorly	of	me?”	“Will	I	ever	find	a	partner?”	“Am	I
healthy?”	“Am	I	normal?”	“Is	everything	okay??”
Living	that	way	is	exhausting,	and	over	time	it	diminishes	quality	of	life.
The	idea	that	we	have	to	worry	or	remain	hypervigilant	so	bad	things	won’t
happen	to	us	is	an	illusion.	Bad	things,	including	suffering	and	sorrow,	
are
sadly	part	of	life.	It’s	not	your	job	to	become	certain	of	the	uncertain.	The
only	real	control	we	have	is	to	accept	reasonable	uncertainty	so	anxiety
doesn’t	rob	us	of	joy,	or	of	the	pleasure	of	being	fully	present	in	this	life	now.
STRATEGY:	MEETING	NEW	PEOPLE
Before	entering	a	social	situation,	we	can	never	know	with	100	percent
accuracy	what	will	happen,	how	we	will	feel,	or	what	others	may	think	about