overthinking	and	a	sense	that	we	can’t	turn	our	mind	off.	Without	a	release
valve,	all	those	negative,	doomsday	thoughts	just	keep	bouncing	around
inside	our	heads.
Take	the	example	of	Zander,	a	typical	patient	in	my	psychotherapy
practice,	who	is	grief	struck	by	the	death	of	a	loved	one.	Instead	of	expressing
his	feelings	and	allowing	himself	to	be	openly	sad,	he	suppresses	his	pain.
Seemingly	out	of	nowhere	Zander	finds	himself	obsessing	about	the	details	of
the	loved	one’s	medical	expenses,	funeral,	and	the	what-ifs	now	that	the	loved
one	is	deceased.	Over	time,	his	world	becomes	smaller	and	smaller.	He	is
afraid	to	go	out	and	spends	most	of	his	time	at	home	ruminating	(working
through	negative	events	by	mentally	replaying	them	again	and	again).
Another	example	is	Valentina,	who	after	her	divorce,	blocks	the	normal
feelings	of	anger,	loss,	and	sadness	and	instead	becomes	obsessively	focused
on	her	weight.	She	replays	in	her	mind	what	she	did	or	didn’t	eat	that	day,
plans	her	next	meal,	imagines	herself	larger	or	smaller.	In	this	way	she
occupies	her	mind	to	avoid	confronting	the	hurt	and	upset	of	the	divorce.	The