CH
	
APTER	SIX
Acceptance	&	Approach
Making	Peace	with	Anxiety
Anxiety	serves	an	important	function.	Worry	and	concern	enable	us	to	tune	in,
connect	with	others,	take	care	of	ourselves,	and	have	empathy.	Anxiety	also
motivates	us	to	set	goals,	take	action,	and	pay	attention	to	what	matters.	I
sometimes	see	people	in	my	practice	who	don’t	have	enough	anxiety.	That
might	sound	strange,	but	they	come	in	feeling	unmotivated,	lost,	and	without
purpose.	Chances	are,	if	you	live	with	anxiety,	you’re	fully	invested	in	your
life’s	course.	You	have	the	drive	needed	to	achieve	an	enriching	and
meaningful	life.	The	key,	however,	is	to	not	squander	your	precious	energy	on
a	struggle	
against
	
anxiety.
Many	of	us	have	a	sense	that	we	aren’t	living	a	“good”	or	“happy”	or
“correct”	life	if	we	experience	even	low	levels	of	distress.	If	you	feel	this
way,	you	probably	
expend
	
a	lot	of	energy	trying	to	prevent	the	unpreventable.
Joy,	love,	and	pleasure	are	magnificent	aspects	of	life.	However,	in	the	small
print	on	life’s	contract	you’ll	find	that	hardship,	loss,	suffering,	setbacks,	and,
yes,	anxiety,	are	also	part	of	the	deal.