isolation	soon	arise.	Your	decision	to	avoid	limits	your	enjoyment,	your
spontaneity,	and	your	social	life,	because	your	fear	has	taken	control.
The	swimming	pool	is	a	simple	example,	but	there	are	many	ways	we
avoid	what	we	fear:	We	avoid	by	indecision,	by	not	showing	up,	by	not
following	through	on	commitments,	by	distracting	ourselves	with
meaningless	activities,	by	making	excuses	and	rationalizations.
No	longer	avoiding	what	you	fear	means	paying	attention	to	how	you	feel,
not	just	at	the	moment	you	avoid,	but	over	the	longer	term.	Sure,	avoidance
brings	a	temporary	reprieve—“I’m	dreading	facing	my	boss	today	…	ah,	I’m
going	to	call	in	sick	…	what	a	relief	to	not	have	to	deal	with	that	jerk!”	The
temporary	relief	reinforces	the	tendency	to	avoid.	But	the	reprieve	is	almost
always	short-lived.	New	anxiety	creeps	in	and	takes	over.	What	felt	like	the
sweet	taste	of	freedom	becomes	bitter	with	self-critical	thoughts	about	the
consequences	your	avoidance	may	bring.	What	will	your	boss	think	of	you	for
not	showing	up?	What	if	you	get	fired?	How	will	you	pay	your	bills?	Are
your	colleagues	criticizing	you	for	not	coming	in?