244justifying e ventsact opposite  
to emotion u rge 
(for unjustified e motion)act on emotion u rge,  
problem-Solve, or a void 
(for j ustified emotion)Shamea. You will be rejected 
by a very important 
person or group if 
characteristics of 
yourself or of your behavior are made public.1. Make public your 
personal characteristics or behavior (with people 
who won’t reject you).
2. Repeat the behavior 
without hiding from 
people who won’t reject 
you.
3. Or, if your  moral code is 
violated, apologize and 
repair; forgive yourself; and let it go.1. Hide what will get you rejected.
2. Appease those offended.
3. Change your behavior or 
personal characteristics to fit in.
4. Avoid groups who disapprove 
of you.
5. Find a new group that fits 
your values or that likes your 
personal characteristics.
6. Work to change society’s or a 
person's values.Guilta. Your own behavior 
violates your own 
values or moral code.1. Do what makes you feel 
guilty over and over and over.
2. Make public your 
behavior (with people who won’t reject you).
Or, if you will be rejected by others:
3. Hide your behavior.
4. Use interpersonal skills.
5. Work to change your 
group’s values or join a new group.1. Seek forgiveness.
2. Repair the harm; make things 
better (or, if not possible, work to prevent or repair similar harm for others).
3. Accept the consequences 
gracefully.
4. Commit to avoiding behaviors