133interpersonal effectiveness Handout 8   (p. 3 of 3)
 6.relaTionShip: ••Is what you want appropriate to the current relationship? If YES , raise the intensity 
of ASKING .
••Is what the person is asking for appropriate to your current relationship? If NO , raise 
the intensity of NO .
 7.lonG-Term 
verS uS  
Shor T-Term 
GoalS:••Will not asking for what you want keep the peace now but create problems in the 
long run? If YES , raise the intensity of ASKING .
••Is giving in to keep the peace right now more important than the long-term welfare of the relationship? Will you eventually regret or resent saying no? If NO , raise the 
intensity of NO .
 8.Give an D Take: ••What have you done for the person? Are you giving at least as much as you ask 
for? Are you willing to give if the person says yes? If YES , raise the intensity of 
ASKING .
••Do you owe this person a favor? Does he or she do a lot for you? If NO , raise the 
intensity of NO .
 9.home Work: ••Have you done your homework? Do you know all the facts you need to know to support your request? Are you clear about what you want? If YES , raise the 
intensity of ASKING .
••Is the other person’s request clear? Do you know what you are agreeing to? If NO , 
raise the intensity of NO .