179interpersonal effectiveness WorksHeet 7   (p. 2 of 2)
are my emotions getting in the way of using my skills?
4 Ask:
••Do I get too upset to use my skills?
••Are my emotions so high that I am over my skills breakdown point?
yes:
Tried TIP skills.
Used self-  soothing crisis survival skills before the interaction to get myself calm.
Did mindfulness of current emotions (Emotion Regulation Handout 22).
Refocused attention completely on the present objective.
Did this help? Yes (Fabulous)  No (Continue) Didn’t try again
no:
are worries, assumptions, and myths getting in my way?
5 Ask:
••Are thoughts about bad consequences blocking my action?
“They won’t like me,” “She will think I am stupid.”
••Are thoughts about whether I deserve to get what I want in my way?
“I am such a bad person I don’t deserve this.”
••Am I calling myself names that stop me from doing anything?
“I won’t do it right,” “I’ll probably fall apart,” “I’m so stupid.”
••Am I believing myths about interpersonal effectiveness?
“If I make a request, this will show that I am a very weak person,” “Only wimps have values.”
yes:
Challenged myths.
Checked the facts.
Did opposite action all the way.
Did this help? Yes (Fabulous)  No (Continue) Didn’t try again
no: