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From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission 
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).interpersonal effectiveness Handout 4   (I. E. Worksheet 3)
clarifying Goals in i nterpersonal Situations
oBjecTive S effecTivene SS: Getting What y ou Want from another p erson
••Obtaining your legitimate rights.
••Getting another person to do something you want that person to do.
••Saying no to an unwanted or unreasonable request.
••Resolving an interpersonal conflict.
••Getting your opinion or point of view taken seriously.
questions
1. What specific results or changes  do I want from this interaction?
2. What do I have to do to get the results? What will work?
relaTionS hip e ffecTivene SS: keeping and i mproving the r elationship
••Acting in such a way that the other person keeps liking and respecting you.
••Balancing immediate goals with the good of the long-term relationship.
••Maintaining relationships that matter to you.
questions
1. How do I want the other person to feel about me  after the interaction is over (whether or 
not I get the results or changes I want)?
2. What do I have to do to get (or keep) this relationship?
Self-  reSpecT  effecTivene SS: keeping or i mproving Self-  respect
••Respecting your own values and beliefs.
••Acting in a way that makes you feel moral.