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From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission 
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).« Interpersonal effect Iv eness Handout 2  
F
actors in the Way of Interpersonal Effectiveness
 You Don’t Hav E  tH E  IntEr pEr sonal s kIl ls You nEED
You Don’t kn oW  WHa t You Want
 You have the skills, but can’t decide what you really want from the other person.
 You can’t figure out how to balance your needs versus the other person’s needs:
 Asking for too much versus not asking for anything.
 Saying no to everything versus giving in to everything.
Your Emot Io ns a rE  GEt tInG  In tH E  WaY
 Y
ou have the skills, but emotions (anger, pride, contempt, fear, shame, guilt) 
control what you do.
You For G Et Y our lo nG-t Er m Goals Fo r sHo rt-t Er m Goals
 You put your immediate urges and wants ahead of your long-term goals. The 
future vanishes from your mind.
otH E r pEo plE  a rE  GEt tInG  In Y our Wa Y
 Y
ou have the skills but other people get in the way.
 Other people are more powerful than you.
 Other people may be threatened or may not like you if you get what you want.