135in terpersonal e ffectiveness Handout 9   (p. 2 of 2)
4a
re my emotions getting in the way of using my skills?
Ask:
• •Do I get too upset to use my skills?
• •Are my emotions so 
HIGH  t
hat I am over my skills breakdown point?
5a
re worries, assumptions, and myths getting in my way?
Ask:
• •Are T
HOUGHTS  a
bout bad consequences blocking my action?
“They won’t like me,” “She will think I am stupid.”
• •Are T
HOUGHTS  a
bout not deserving things getting in my way?
“I am such a bad person I don’t deserve this.”
• •Am I calling myself 
NAMES
 that stop me from doing anything?
“I won’t do it right,” “I’ll probably fall apart,” “I’m so stupid.”
• •Do I believe 
MYTHS  a
bout interpersonal effectiveness?
“If I make a request, this will show that I am a weak person,” 
“Only wimps have values.”
6is t
he environment more powerful than my skills?
Ask:
• •Are the people who have what I want or need more powerful than I am?
• •Are other people more in control of the situation than I am?
• •Will others be threatened if I get what I want?
• •Do others have reasons for not liking me if I get what I want?
7ot
her ideas: