by attending to and learning more and more about people you care about. 
           7A. E valuate other people’s behaviors and 
thoughts, and tell them that they are 
wrong or that they should be different when you feel sure you are right.
 
 
7B. I
f you do not approve of or agree 
with what another person is doing or thinking, try to understand how it would make sense if you knew the causes.
 
               3A. “ My feelings are really hurt by 
what you did, and the thought 
went through my mind that you hate me. I know that you don’t really, but did you feel that way at the time?”
 
 
3B. “
I know you hate me. There is 
no other reason for what you did to me. Don’t tell me differently, either.” 
   8A .  “You should stop doing that.”
  
8B. “
I wish you would stop doing that.”
    9 A.  “You are lazy and have given up.”
  
9B. “
I worry that you have given up.”