animal, or object you love altogether.
2. Distract yourself from 
thoughts of the beloved.
3. Avoid contact with 
all reminders of the beloved.
4. Remind yourself of why 
love is not justified.1. Be with the person, animal, or 
thing that you love.
2. Touch, hold, etc., the beloved.
3. Avoid separations when 
possible.
4. If the beloved is lost, fight to find 
or get the beloved back (if it may be possible).Sadnessa. You have lost 
something or someone permanently.
B. Things are not the 
way you expected or wanted or hoped for.1. Activate your behavior.
2. Avoid avoiding.
3. Build mastery: Do 
things that make you feel competent and self-  
confident.
4. Increase pleasant 
events.
5. Pay attention to 
pleasant events.1. Grieve; have a memorial service; 
visit the cemetery (but don’t build a house at the cemetery).
2. Retrieve/replace what is lost.
3. Plan how to rebuild a life worth 
living without the beloved or 
expected outcomes in your life.
4. Accumulate positives.
5. Build mastery: Do things that 
make you feel competent and 
self- confident.
6. Communicate need for help.
7. Accept help offered.
8. Put on rose-  colored glasses.
(continued on next page )eMotion r eGulation Handout 13  (p. 2 of 3)