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From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission 
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).interpersonal effectiveness Handout 11   (I. E. Worksheet 8) (p. 1 of 2)
finding and Getting p eople to l ike y ou
remem Ber: all human Bein GS are l ovaBle.
But finding friends may take effort on your part.
look for p eople Who are c loSe By you.
familiarity often leads to liking and sometimes love.
To find people you might like and who might like you, it is important to make sure that you 
are frequently around and visible to a group of people. Many people find friends who are 
classmates or members of groups they join, or who work at or go to the same places.
look for p eople Who are Similar T o you.
We often make friends with people who share our interests and attitudes.
Though always agreeing with someone will not make you more attractive to them, a lot of 
people are attracted to those who share the same important interests and attitudes, such as 
politics, lifestyle, morals.
Work on y our c onver SaTion Skill S.
ask and respond to questions; respond with a little more info than requested.
make small talk; don’t underestimate the value of chit-chat.
Self-  disclose skillfully; keep your self-  disclosure close to that of the other person.
Don’t interrupt; don’t start talking just fractionally before or after someone else.
learn things to talk about: Watch others; read; increase your activities and experiences.