237Emotion R Egu lation Handout 11   (p. 6 of 9)
Love
Love (other than universal love for all) fits the facts  of a situation whenever:
A. L
oving a person, animal, or object enhances quality of life for you or for those you care 
about.
B. L
oving a person, animal, or object increases your chances of attaining your own 
personal goals.
C. O
ther example:                                    
fo
llow these suggestions when your love is n Ot
 justified  by the facts or is n Ot
 effective:
op
posite A C
tions  for Love
do t
he 
Op
pO
site  of your loving action urges. 
fo
r example:
1. a
vOi
d the person, animal, or object you love.
2. di
stract yourself from thoughts of the person, animal, or object.
3. re
mind yourself of why love is not justified (rehearse the “cons” of loving) when loving 
thoughts do arise.
A
LL-
the-W Ay 
op
posite A Ct
ions for Love
4. avO
id cOn
tact with everything that reminds you of a person you love: pictures, letters/
messages/e-mails, belongings, mementos, places you were together, places you planned 
to or wanted to go together, places where you know the person has been or will be. 
no
 
following, waiting for, or looking for the person.
5. s
tOp
 expressing 
LOve
 for the person, even to friends. Be unfriendly toward the person 
(e.g., “unfriend” the person on 
fa
cebook, 
twi