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From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition  by Marsha M. Linehan. Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan. Permission 
to photocopy this handout is granted to purchasers of this book for personal use only (see copyright page for details).interpersonal effectiveness Handout 16a  
examples of o pposite Sides That c an Both Be True
 1. You can want to change and be doing the best you can, AND still need to do better, try 
harder, and be more motivated to change.
 2. You are tough AND you are gentle.
 3. You can be independent AND also want help. (You can allow somebody else to be independent AND also give them help.)
 4. You can want to be alone AND also want to be connected to others.
 5. You can share some things with others AND also keep some things private.
 6. You can be by yourself AND still be connected to others.
 7. You can be with others AND be lonely.
 8. You can be a misfit in one group AND fit in perfectly in another group. (A tulip in a rose garden can also be a tulip in a tulip garden.)
 9. You can accept yourself the way you are AND still want to change. (You can accept others as they are AND still want them to change.)
10. At times you need to both control AND tolerate your emotions.
11. You may have a valid reason for believing what you believe, AND you may still be wrong or 
incorrect.