Are you blaming yourself for your dad’s angry outbursts, excessive drinking, neglect, or emotional instability? Many kids think their parents behave badly because of something they did wrong. If this sounds like you, stop blaming yourself. No matter what your dad or anyone else says, you’re not responsible for his behavior. Your father is an adult, so he's responsible for himself.  If you’re having trouble realizing that you’re not to blame, talk to another adult about what you’re feeling. It may also help to remind yourself by reciting an affirmation like, “Dad is responsible for himself. I am not to blame for his behavior.” Remember that your dad’s behavior does not have anything to do with you. His behavior may be the result of how he was raised, his own trauma, a mental illness, or other factors. That way, you'll be able to sidestep his influence and avoid developing these behavioral patterns later.  To minimize your chances of substance abuse, participate in extracurriculars at school. Involvement in such activities lowers your risk.  Try to identify the unhealthy behaviors you don't want to pick up from your father. Then, look for another role model who demonstrates the types of behaviors you do want. Similarly, if you are being neglected or abused, start working with a counselor to address these issues. Getting help can help you minimize your chances of demonstrating the same behavioral patterns with your own children. You can soften the influence your terrible father has on you by seeking out positive relationships with male role models. Form relationships with male leaders in your school, work, or community. These influences may counter some of the negative effects of having a bad father.  Participate in mentoring programs like Boys Club or Girls, Inc. You might also connect with positive male role models by reaching out to teachers, coaches, community leaders, or spiritual advisors. You might reach out by saying something like, "Coach Greg, I really look up to you. My own dad is hardly ever around. Do you think you could mentor me?" Consider your friends’ dads as well. If you have a friend who has a good dad, then you might ask your friend if it would be okay if you tag along for some of their activities. You can further absorb the negative effects of a terrible father by surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family. While relationships with others can’t necessarily replace your father, they can offer protection against stress. Lean on good friends and family members for social support.
اعرف أن المشكلة تكمن فيه وليس فيك. تجنب اكتساب عاداته السيئة. جد مثلًا أعلى ذكوريًا آخر. ابن مجموعة دعم إيجابية.