Forgiving someone who has done you wrong can be a bitter pill to swallow. Your first reaction is probably to hold on to your anger and  blame the person who caused you pain. While this is natural, holding on to hurt and anger causes you more pain than the person your anger is directed towards. For this reason, it is necessary to forgive - not for the other person, but for yourself. Holding a grudge can spoil future relationships with other people, cause depression or resentment, and can isolate you from others. Forgiveness requires the conscious, active decision to let go of negativity and to try to move on with life. It does not come naturally or easily. Forgiveness is something you must work towards. Often, people claim that they "cannot" forgive the person who did them wrong. They believe that it is impossible for them to get past their feelings of hurt and betrayal. Yet, what people fail to realize is that forgiveness is a choice. When you choose to forgive people who have hurt you, the person that will benefit most from this decision is you. Let go of all the negative emotions you harbor towards the other person. Allow yourself to cry, hit a punching bag, go into nature and scream, or whatever provides you an outlet for all these bad feelings. If not, they will fester and cause you further pain. Remember, you are not doing this to ease the other person's conscience or to condone his actions. You are doing it to allow yourself to heal and move forward. Try to gain some perspective by taking a step back and viewing the situation from an objective point of view. Did the other person try to hurt you intentionally? Were there circumstances beyond his control? Has he attempted to apologize and make things right with you? Try to take everything into account and to calmly analyze the situation. If you can try to understand why and how the situation came about in the first place, it will be easier to forgive. Honestly ask yourself how often you've wronged someone and been forgiven. Remember what that felt like, and how relieved and grateful you felt when the other person forgave you. Sometimes it helps to remember that we're just as prone to hurting others. Talking to someone you trust will help you process your emotions and gain an unbiased perspective. Just getting everything off your chest can help you feel like a weight has been lifted. A friend, a family member, or a therapist can lend a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. While you may be tempted to talk to the person you're having trouble forgiving, wait until you are in a calm place and have completely considered your feelings. This will keep you from going off on the person and further damaging the relationship. This will help you release destructive negative emotions and work through your issues. Try keeping a journal or writing letters, using creative methods like painting and poetry, listening to or writing music, running or dancing. Do things that help you to relieve tension and make you feel good. Positively dealing with your emotions will make you more aware of the issues you need to confront. This is key to recognizing and dealing with negative emotions, rather than simply ignoring them. Read or listen to stories of others who have exercised forgiveness, in even more difficult circumstances than yours. They can be spiritual leaders, therapists, family members, or simply people that wrote about their experiences. These can give you hope and determination. Forgiveness does not come with the click of your fingers. It requires self-control, determination, compassion and, above all, time. It is something that can be worked towards, little by little, every day. Remember, no one comes to the end of their life and thinks "I should have stayed angry for longer." In the end, love, empathy and forgiveness are what matter the most. There's not an optimum window of time for forgiving someone. You may find yourself holding onto a grudge for years, then realizing that you need to come to terms with that person. Listen to your instinct.
اعلم أن الغضب قد يكون مؤذيًا. اختر المسامحة. أطلق غضبك. امتلك منظورًا سليمًا. تحدّث مع شخص ما. ابحث عن طرق إيجابية للتعبير عن نفسك. ابحث عن الإلهام لدى الآخرين. اسمح بالوقت الكافي.