If you really want to help a loved one who cuts, it is important for you to be mentally and emotionally strong before you start. When you help someone who self-harms, you might have to listen to and witness very taxing and traumatizing events. You have to commit to doing it from the beginning. You cannot decide to pull out of it half way through. You could make it worse for them if you turn your back on them after they share their pain and experiences with you. Be aware that helping others with self-harm may bring new feelings up for you as well. You might feel resentful towards the person, develop extreme sympathy for them, or become excessively frustrated. When you experience these feelings, remember to stay balanced and keep a check on your emotions so you can be a neutral, loving presence for them. If you notice that your friend has cuts on their arms, if you notice a change in clothing where they are covering their skin even when it's hot outside, or if you have any other reason to think that your friend is cutting themselves, you should try to help. When you approach your friend, do so in an easy, gentle manner. Don't try to accuse them of keeping things from you, yell at them for their actions, or be combative in any way. They need your support and understanding as well as your help, so accusing them or being aggressive is not going to get you anywhere. Instead, approach them with compassion and understanding and let them know that you are there for them.  If they are not ready to acknowledge the problem yet, accept that they may need more time. Still keep an eye on them and be as supportive in other ways as possible, letting them know that you care and are there for them. They will come to you when they are ready to talk about it. Never give your friend an ultimatum. Always be supportive and positive. Since most people who cut do so to release inner emotions, letting your friend know that you acknowledge and understand their emotions, or at least empathize with them, will help them. You need to connect with them on a personal level in order to help them, get through to them, and be part of their recovery process. Tell them you understand how overwhelming emotions can be and that you sometimes get overwhelmed too.  You can also use this time to talk about how you release your emotions without telling them how to change them. This will offer them a suggestion of positive ways to express emotions that don't involve cutting but that aren't treated as aggressive suggestions to change their life. Although you want to show them that you empathize, you never want to join them in cutting yourself in order to let her know you know how they feel. This will only hurt you and reinforce their self-harm. Do not bounce back and forth with your approach to their self-harm. Do not act as if you are suspicious of their intentions, emotions, and behavior. If you in any way feel you cannot trust them or what they say, don't let it show. Be there to support them and let them know you are there. Gaining their trust fully may take time. If you approach them with a helpful attitude some times and at other times displaying an I am not concerned attitude, you may do more harm than good. Do not go about helping your loved one or friend by acting as though you are in control of their life. Although you want to change their self-harming behavior,  you do not need to take charge of everything or control your loved one. Don't be extremely strict or controlling. This could frighten them to such an extent that they could find you unapproachable. It can also aggravate the cutting behavior, especially if they use cutting as a way to have more control over their life or body. In order to truly overcome cutting, your friend must find a way to accomplish this themself. You may not be able to reach your friend. If they are not yet in a place where they want to be helped, you can't force them to be ready. Make sure you leave the lines of communication open and let them know that you are there for them, but don't push them to listen to you if you have tried your best to talk to them. If you push too hard, you could push them away and then you won't be able to help them at all. Try to keep a close eye on your friend in case their behavior escalates. In this case, you may need to suggest professional help to get their self-harm under control.
تأكد من أنك متواجد حوله وتقدم له المساعدة. تواصل مع صديقك بتعاطف ومحبة. اعترف بمشاعره وتقبلها. كن ثابتًا ومتماسكًا. لا تفرض الحماية على حياة الطرف الآخر. لا يمكنك أن تجبر صديقك على التعافي أو التغيير من سلوكه، مهما كانت درجة رغبتك في تقديم المساعدة. حافظ على خطوط التواصل بينك وبينه مفتوحة كل الوقت.