The cutting is not the issue but rather the emotions underneath that the cutting helps you deal with. Getting to the cause of the behaviour can help you and your confidant move forward. Be as open as you can about how you feel and why you cut. Gaining their understanding will go a long way in ensuring you have the support you need. You want them to understand but not be scared or tune out because it is difficult for them to hear. You may need to go into more detail about your self-harm practices if you are telling your doctor or therapist. These professionals will need these insights to better help you cope. Some people admit self-harm because they feel lonely and isolated and do not want to go through it alone anymore. Some people fear their self-harm is getting worse and want help. Telling your friend why you are talking about it now will help them understand how you are feeling.  You might have a holiday coming up or want to be intimate with someone but are afraid of your scars showing for the first time. Maybe someone else found out and is threatening to tell your parents so you want to tell them first. Maybe you didn’t tell them before because you were afraid of being labelled or of having your one way of coping taken away from you. It will make your friend’s acceptance easier if they see that you have some self-awareness around your self-harm choices, why you do it, and why you are telling them about it. Don’t be apologetic. You aren’t telling them to upset them and you aren’t self-harming to upset them. When you come out to someone about self-harm, their first instinctive reaction might be anger, shock, fear, embarrassment, guilt, or sadness. Remember this is because they care about you.  First reactions are not always an indication of how someone supportive will be. Your friend might react poorly but this isn’t a reflection on you but rather of their own coping skills and emotions. Expect that your confidant may need some time to digest this information. Your friend may demand that you stop self-harming, as a way of trying to protect and care for you. They likely feel that they are doing the right thing by asking this of you.  They may threaten to not be friends or partners with you, or say they won’t talk to you, until you stop. Your friend could cut off your friendship entirely or they could even resort to bullying. Tell them that their demands aren’t helpful and put more pressure on you. Ask them to instead show their support by sticking with you as you go through this journey. Explain to your friend or family member that this isn’t an overnight journey but that healing and coping takes time and you need their support during this process. Remind them that, just as they're learning this news about you, you’re still learning about yourself, too. If you are seeing a doctor or therapist, tell your friend. It may reassure them to know that you are being looked after. Your friend may automatically assume you are suicidal, a danger to others, just trying to get attention, or that you could really stop if you just wanted to.  Your friend might also suggest you are cutting or self-harming as part of a fad. Be patient and understanding of your friend’s confusion and share resources with them to educate them about self-harm. Explain that self-harm is not the same as being suicidal but rather a coping mechanism you are using. Tell them that you are not attention seeking. In fact, most people choose to hide their self-harm for long periods of time before deciding to talk about it. If your friend is shouting at you or threatening you, politely say that shouting and threatening doesn’t help, this is your issue, and you will deal with it how you best can. Leave the conversation if you need to. Depending on whom you choose to tell, they might have different reactions. Your parents might think it is their fault. Your friend might feel guilty that they haven't noticed.  Know that it will be difficult for them to hear but gently remind them that you need to talk about your feelings right now. Let them know you are talking to them because you trust them, not because you blame them. Have internet sites or books ready to share with the person you are telling. They might be afraid of what they do not understand so you can provide the tools to help them help you. If you want other coping strategies, ask for them. If you want them to just sit with you when you feel like harming, say so. Tell them if you want accompaniment to doctor’s appointments. Be proud of the strength and courage you showed in talking about it. Allow yourself some time to reflect.  You may feel relief and be happier now that you have shared your secret. This good feeling can be an impetus to talk more about your self-harm, perhaps with a counsellor or doctor. You won’t necessarily always feel good talking about it, but this is a strong step towards healing. You may be angry and disappointed if your friend didn’t react the way you’d hoped they would. If your friend reacts poorly, remember that this is a reflection of their own emotional issues and coping skills. If your friend responds badly and it affects you negatively, it could cause you to relapse and do further self-harm. Instead, remember that your friend just received shocking news and needs time to adjust. People often regret their first reactions to surprising news. Now is the time to seek professional help if you haven’t already. Sharing this news with someone close to you is a good first step but you have a lot of emotional issues to unpack and work through and this is best done with someone who has experience and training in the field.
تحدث عن السبب وراء إيذائكلنفسك. لا تشارك صور مع صديقتك. اعط صديقك سببًا لإخباره بهذا. برهن على أنك تتقبل ذاتك. كُن مستعدًا للصدمةوالغضب والحزن. توقّع أن يُطلب منك التوقّف عن هذا. توقّع التفسيرات الخاطئة. ابق زمام المحادثة في يدك. ابقِ الحديث حولك. اعطها مصادر. اخبِرها كيف يمكنها مساعدتك. تعامل مع مشاعرك بعد ذلك.