“Rescuing” your loved one, financially or otherwise, is not helpful. It only enables him or her to continue their behavior. Be clear that you can offer support, but only if he or she is serious about treatment. Here are some examples of healthy boundaries you can set:  Do not give money to your loved one to allow him or her to continue to buy drugs or alcohol. But, do remind your loved one that you are ready and willing to help him or her find treatment. Tell your loved one that you can offer emotional support, but that you will not allow her or him to use drugs in your home. Let your loved one know that you are there for him or her, but also that you will not drop everything to deal with  a drug related problem or emergency. Your loved one must learn to help him or herself. Tell your loved one that you hope she or he can attend events with you. But, also emphasize that if she or he does not show up because of drug use, plans will continue without him or her. Relationships can develop communication patterns that make it harder for everyone to express themselves.  Learning to share your thoughts and feelings effectively can help a lot.  Effective communication lets you to focus on conversations that make progress toward seeking help. It helps you avoid spiraling into negativity, blaming, threats, or shouting matches. Speak about yourself and your feelings rather than making accusations. For example, start sentences by saying: "I've noticed," "I'm worried," or "I feel." Don't focus on the other person.  Approach the person when he or she is sober. You will be more likely to get a calm and rationale response. Try to keep your voice calm and even during conversations. Concern and compassion are helpful. Anger is not.  Emphasize your love and concern for the addicted person. This may help him or her feel less threatened and more cared for. Be assertive with your loved one about your boundaries and needs. If you have the opportunity to do so, speak with a counselor or therapist for more suggestions about effective communication. Along with improving your communication skills generally, there are several behaviors you should avoid. Stay away from these unhelpful actions:  Preaching at your loved one or manipulating him or her to change. Using guilt to try to get her or him to change or stop using. Coming to the aid of your loved one with excuses to save her or him from consequences. Taking on your loved one's responsibilities for him or her. Hiding his or her drugs or drug paraphernalia, or throwing them away. It is a better idea to tell your loved one that he or she must throw them away, or at least get these items out of your home. Fighting or arguing with your loved one if she or he is under the influence. Using drugs with your loved one. Prepare to maintain your personal safety by cutting ties if your loved one’s behavior warrants it. Behavior that may lead you to consider separating yourself from the situation include:  Violent or abusive behavior toward you or others. Endangering the home or family with risky behavior. This could include using drugs near children or conducting drug deals on the property. Putting the family’s economic stability in jeopardy. This could include draining the bank account or selling items from the home to pay for the habit. Cutting ties can require harsh measures. You may need to consider reporting illegal behavior to civil authorities. You might consider admitting a minor to an in-patient substance abuse program. You may need to ask your loved one to leave the home and not return until sober. In extreme cases, you may need to move without announcing your new address.
اعرض الدعم العاطفي دون مساعدته على التعاطي. طوّر طرقًا فعالة في التواصل مع قريبك المدمن. تجنب أنماط التواصل السلبي. اقطع الروابط إذا لزم الأمر.