There are often local resources to help victims of abuse.  If you are not sure where to start, or if you just want to talk to someone about whether your relationship is abusive, try one of the following resources.  If you live with your abusive boyfriend, be careful using your own home computer or your cellular phone, as your page visits and phone calls may be stored in the history or call log, which he may be monitoring.  In the US: http://www.thehotline.org/ :The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233(SAFE) In the UK: http://www.womensaid.org.uk/: Women’s Aid 0808 2000 247 In Australia: https://www.1800respect.org.au/: 1800Respect 1800 737 732 Worldwide: http://www.hotpeachpages.net/: The International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies It is very common for abusers to lead victims to believe that the abuse is the victim's fault. A boyfriend acting aggressive, violent, or manipulative towards you is not your fault. Know that your relationship can still be abusive, even if:  Your boyfriend has never hit you. Emotional or verbal abuse is still abuse.  The abuse doesn’t seem as bad as other instances of abuse you’ve heard about.   Physical violence has only happened once or twice. Any physical violence is a sign that more is possible.   The abuse stopped when you became passive, stopped arguing, or refrained from expressing your own thoughts or opinions. Physical and emotional abuse should be considered a deal-breaker for a relationship. Regardless of your love for one another, how long you've been together, whether you have kids or pets, or whether you live together, a relationship that involves physical or psychological abuse needs to be over. Now. Start planning to end the relationship safely, as quickly as possible.  Think about where you’re going to go when you leave. Know what you need to take with you. If necessary, pack an “emergency bag” and hide it somewhere so that it is ready to go when you are.  If you share a cell phone plan, remember that many phones have GPS tracking capability, and he may be able to find you or monitor you through your cell phone.  Consider leaving it behind and getting a new phone and number. Decide what steps you need to take to stay safe after you leave. Do you need a restraining order? A new town? A new identity? New locks on your doors? Make a plan to keep others safe. Kids or pets might need to get out, too, and they may or may not be able to stay with you. Make a plan for dependents when you leave. You should make it clear that you are ending the relationship with no hope of re-starting it in the future. If you feel uncomfortable or fear for your safety, you should end the relationship from a distance or have someone there to help you if the need arises.  Do not try to end the relationship while you are at home alone with your abuser. Your attempt may cause his abuse to escalate, and you might be putting yourself in serious danger. Consider breaking up in writing or over the phone, even if that’s not how you would normally break up; your safety is more important than social graces. If you feel you must break up with an abusive boyfriend face to face, do it in public, with other people present, and keep the conversation brief. Be short and to-the-point.  You can say something simple like, “we cannot be together anymore.” Try to avoid any phrases like “right now,” “at this time,” or “until you change.”  You should close the door fully on the relationship.
اطلبي المساعدة. لا تبرري العنف أو تتغاضي عنه. خططي لإنهاء العلاقة فورًا. قومي بإنهاء العلاقة بسلام.