Once you know the specific areas of your life for which you are most critical, it is time to start quieting your “inner critic.” Your inner critic tells you things like: “I’m not the ideal body size” of “I can never do anything right.” Quieting your inner critic will reduce reinforcement of your negative thoughts about yourself which will aid you in creating room for compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. To quiet your inner critic, practice catching these negative thoughts as they come up. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m such an idiot,” ask yourself these things:  Is this a kind thought? Does this thought make me feel good? Would I say this thought to a friend or loved one? If these answers are no, then you know that your inner critic is speaking again. When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, challenge and quiet this inner critic. Be prepared with a positive counter-thought or mantra. You can use the strengths that you’ve identified in previous steps.  For example, if you catch yourself saying, “I’m unintelligent,” change the thought into a kind statement: “Although I may not know this topic, I am intelligent in other ways and that is okay.” Remind yourself of your strengths: “We are not all talented in the same things. I know that my talent or expertise is in another area, and I am proud of that.” Remind your inner critic that the negative statement is not true. “Okay, inner critic, I know you are used to saying that I am not intelligent, but it’s not true. I am learning that I have the strength of intelligence in important and specific ways.” Be sure to always be kind to your inner critic. Remind and teach yourself, because you are still learning to alter your thoughts about yourself. Self-acceptance is accepting yourself just how you are in the present. Self-improvement focuses on changes that need to be made in order to accept the self in the future.  , Identify areas with the intention to value them as they are now. Then, you can decide whether you want to improve them in the future. For example, you might want to lose weight. First, start with a self-acceptance statement about your current body weight: “Even though I want to lose weight, I am beautiful and I feel good just as I am.” Then, frame your self-improvement in positive, productive terms. Instead of thinking, “I am not the ideal body shape, and when I lose 20 pounds I will be beautiful and feel good,” you can say, “I would like to lose 20 pounds so that I am healthier and I have more energy.” When you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. This will, in turn, make it hard to accept yourself. Shift your expectations of yourself.  For example, if you say, “I am so lazy. I didn’t even clean the kitchen today,” change your expectations to say, “I made dinner for the entire family. I can get the kids to help clean the kitchen tomorrow after breakfast.”
تعرف على لحظات التفكير السلبي في الذات. تغلب على النقد الداخلي. ركز على تقبل الذات قبل تحسينها. غيّر توقعاتك عن نفسك.