In a relationship, you have to take care of yourself as well as your partner. In fact, sometimes you need to take care of your own needs first so that you can be supportive of your partner.  That means, of course, that you must know what your needs are. Maybe you need alone time once in awhile, or maybe you need cuddly time at least once a week. Once you know what you need, express those needs to your partner. Have a conversation about what both of you need, both in and out of the relationship. Try to make a plan about how both of your needs can be met. For instance, you could say, "I really need cuddle time once a week." Your partner might counter with, "I'm happy to give you cuddle time. I love cuddling with you. But I also need to spend a bit of time apart as well." Just because your partner is saying you need to be a better girlfriend doesn't mean you are being a bad one. In other words, you need to look for signs of emotional abuse in your relationship. You can find yourself in a emotionally abusive relationship without even realizing it.  For instance, some signs of an emotionally abusive relationship can be that your partner is hypercritical of you, humiliates you, shuts you out completely, and/or gets very angry and moody much of the time.  Other signs can be overusing a sarcastic/mean tone, being dominating, making you feel guilty often, and blaming you for everything that goes wrong.  You may also notice that your partner embarrasses you on purpose, is very controlling, calls you all the time to see where you are (and not in a caring way), or is overly jealous.  If your partner does one or even a couple of these once in a while, it may not be abusive. However, if your partner does it all the time with the intention of making you feel bad, humiliating you, or controlling you, then that is definitely a sign of emotional abuse. Look for the phrase, "I love you, but..." That's often a sign of a controlling person. Be aware that many abusers will apologize for their behavior to draw you back in. It may seem silly, but getting enough sleep can be essential for maintaining a good relationship. When you get enough sleep, you're more pleasant to be around, and you have more energy. However, it goes deeper than that. Getting enough sleep helps you maintain self-control.  Sleep affects your glucose levels, which in turn affects your self-control. If you don't have enough self-control, you tend to snap at your partner and not be available for what he or she needs.  Make sure you are getting your require 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Staying on a sleep schedule, meaning you go to bed and get up at the same time every day, can help you get enough sleep and feel more rested. If you have trouble remembering to go to bed, try setting an alarm at night. Set for an hour before you need to be in bed. When it goes off, turn off all electronics and head for bed. Just like sleeping well, eating well contributes to overall well-being. When you don't eat well or you leave yourself feeling hungry, you have more of a tendency to snap at your partner. Try to keep up with eating healthy meals regularly, so you won't be tempted to snap. Don't forget to eat lean proteins, fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, and low-fat dairy to put you at your healthiest. Everyone has emotional triggers. You know the type. That small thing that will set you off, usually because of something that happened in the past. Knowing your emotional triggers is important because you can learn to calm yourself down when they pop. In addition, you can provide warning to your partner, as well as an explanation of why you get so upset.  If you're not sure what you're emotional triggers are, pay attention when you get really upset, but you don't actually have a good reason. Try to think about what set you off. Write down these instances and what you think caused it. As you write more down, you'll start to notice certain patterns. Just like you should be kind to your partner, it's important to be kind to yourself, as well. Being kind to yourself helps you to feel better, and in turn, be kinder to your partner.  For instance, if you make mistake, tell yourself it's okay. You can learn from it and move on, not beat yourself up. Remind yourself that no one's perfect. You make mistakes just like everyone else in the world and just be yourself that's what your boyfriend loves about you.
اعرفيِ احتياجاتك. انتبهي لعلامات الإيذاء العاطفي. نامي جيدًا. كُلي جيدًا. انتبهي لمحفزاتك. لا تقهري نفسك.