Interacting comfortably with others shows confidence and poise. It is much easier to come up with subjects to discuss if you are educated in a variety of skills and topics.  Go to the library and read a variety of books. Read up about history, science, sociology, psychology, or anything else that you are interested in. Scan the internet, and read reputable websites to keep up with current events. Read a newspaper (either online or in print) and be educated about current events in your community as well as the world. This way, you can start a conversation by asking, "Did you hear about ____? What do you think about it?" Learn new hobbies and activities. Some examples include learning how to: play an instrument, dance, do yoga, rock-climb, skydive, surf, snowboard, ski, scuba-dive, paint, draw, or sing. This way, when you meet a new person you have plenty of activities to discuss. Chances are, the other person will have some similar interests. When attending social gatherings, be a "listener" rather than always driving the conversation. People love being listened to and gravitate to people who take the time to listen to them.  Relax, breathe and pretend you're talking to someone you've know all your life. Ask questions and be interested. Focus solely on the person and his or her experience rather than on what you are going to say next. Be present in the moment. Ask open-ended questions rather than closed-ended "yes" or "no" questions. This will help increase the likelihood that you have a positive and continued conversation. Use active listening skills, which help to build understanding and trust. One way to show that you are listening is to restate what the person has just said. You can do this by saying, "I am hearing that you are upset at your brother. Is that right?"  You can also give feedback and validate the person. Say something like, "That sounds really tough. It sounds like you are hurt, and that makes sense given the situation." If you talk about negative things too much you may seem like a complainer and someone who lacks poise. However, if you focus on positive subjects people may notice your elegance and charm.  Ask positive questions such as, “What's going well for you? What have you been doing that's fun lately?” Generally avoid conversations about politics and religion unless you share the same mentality and openness toward these subjects. Assertiveness is generally being respectful and open about your feelings and thoughts while maintaining tact and composure. Assertive communication is warm, welcoming, and friendly.  One way to be assertive is to be understanding of others and their situations, while still respecting and communicating your own needs and desires. For example, you might say, "That is a great idea. How about we also do this?"  Show you are assertive through your body language. Give appropriate eye contact (not staring, but not avoiding, look around every once in a while). Be relaxed in your body; Do not make your body too small (hunched shoulders) or too large (hands on hips). Do not use aggressive forms of communication such as putting people down, calling them names, or raising your voice.  Saying how you feel or think when you know it might hurt other people can also be a form of aggressive communication; some things are better left unsaid (negative comments about how someone looks or acts, for example). These types of speech and actions may show that you are aggressive, and can indicate to others that you are losing your cool. Some cities offer "finishing schools" where social skills are taught.
ثقف نفسك في العديد من المجالات. أنصت. ركز على الإيجابيات. استخدم التواصل الجازم.