Most people act mean towards others when they themselves feel threatened, demeaned, or bullied.   Realizing that when you act mean, it’s really your issue and not someone else’s can help you determine whether your mean words or behavior are appropriate in the situation. Empathy can help you make being kind to others a priority. Empathy can take the form of understanding another’s perspective, feeling distress at the plight of another person, and being able to relate to the emotions of another.  Whichever approach you take, be sure that you focus on understanding and relating to the people that you are speaking to. Find someone whose words and actions inspire you and imagine how she would act or what she would say in a given situation.  Then try to emulate that type of communication yourself. Smiling at people can make you seem nicer.  People will likely smile back at you, and you may find that you cultivate friendships more easily.  Smiling can also help you feel happier. Acting happy with good posture and a big smile can actually boost your mood; your thoughts and feelings respond to the action of smiling. Communication is not all about words.  Your words can be completely polite while your body language or actions are communicating negativity to others.  Negative feelings towards others may be present in your body and send a signal to others that you are unpleasant. To have more neutral body language, you may want to try using progressive muscle relaxation—a process by which you tense and then release all of the muscles in your body.  This can remove negativity or stress from your body as well as your mind. Rather than expressing yourself passively (being angry without saying anything) or aggressively (exploding in a way that may seem disproportionate to the situation), try assertive communication.  To practice assertive expression, use the facts involved (not exaggerated by emotion) to communicate requests (rather than demands) of others in a respectful way.  Communicate clearly and express your feelings effectively so that everyone’s needs are met. For example, if your tendency would be to yell at your spouse for not folding your laundry the way you like, you could try assertive expression instead.  You might say, “I appreciate your helping me by doing laundry, but it frustrates me that you fold my pants in a way that causes them to wrinkle.  I feel unprofessional while wearing wrinkled pants at work.  I would really appreciate it if you would fold them more carefully, or if you would just let me wash and fold my own laundry.”
أدرك أن الخسة واللؤم يأتيان من الداخل. التمتع بالتعاطف مع الغير. قم بأخذ قدوة حسنة. ابتسم للآخرين. استخدم لغة الجسد الإيجابية. استخدم الجمل الحازمة للتعبير عن مشاعرك عند الضرورة.