It’s hard to feel calm and collected if you don’t know your own strengths. Take a little time to examine yourself and discover the unique things that make you, you. Remind yourself how capable you are. Journaling can be a great way to discover positive things about yourself. Here are some questions to get you started:  What makes you feel like a strong person? What emotions do you feel when you’re feeling confident or strong? What qualities define your strengths? This could be things like “compassion” or “family” or “ambition” -- whatever you think communicates you. Take a moment to review each one. Which ones do you like best? You can also try writing positive statements to yourself each day. For example, remind yourself of things you’ve done well that day, or tell yourself something that you like or respect about yourself. Once you’ve figured out some of your positive attributes, remind yourself of them! It may feel awkward to say these things to yourself at first, but consider: you probably tell your loved ones how awesome they are all the time, right? Why not do the same for yourself? Try the following to help boost your self-confidence and increase your calm:  Say affirmations out loud to yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and repeat something positive to yourself, such as “I am a great friend and loving person” or “I love how my smile lights up my face when I’m happy.” If you encounter unkind thoughts to yourself, change these into self-affirmations by reframing them. For example, imagine you find yourself thinking, “I’m so stressed, I will never be able to figure this out!” Reframe this into a positive statement: “I am stressed right now, and I am learning new things every day to make myself stronger.” . Being calm begins with being self-loving (which is completely different from being self-absorbed). It's all too commonplace for us to take a negative tone with ourselves and to be our own unkindest critic. This can happen because we hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations, or because we forget to show ourselves the same compassion we show others. Calm cannot settle when you feel nothing but self-criticism, self-loathing and a lack of self-trust. Take time to quiet your inner critic and remind yourself that you are worthy of love, dignity, and compassion -- from yourself as well as others.  Talk gently to yourself. When negative self-talk wells up, practice challenging it with positive counter-thoughts or mantras. For example, if you catch yourself worrying and telling yourself that you can’t handle a situation, ask yourself these things:  Is this thought kind to myself? If not, change the thought to a kinder one: “I am worried right now, but I can handle this.” Does this thought make me feel capable and self-assured? If not, focus on your strengths and capabilities: “I’m worried that I don’t know enough to do this, but I am smart and can learn fast.” Would I say this thought to a friend who was worried? If not, why would you say it to yourself?   Remember that everyone makes mistakes. It can be easy to hold yourself to a standard of perfection that you would never expect from your loved ones. Remind yourself of your common humanity. Acknowledge your mistake, then focus on how to correct it and do things differently in the future. This keeps you focused on positive growth, rather than beating yourself up for the past. Know how valuable you are. Remind yourself daily of the virtues, strengths, and beauty that you bring into the world. If you’re having trouble thinking of positive things, ask friends for help. Being unable to forgive compels you to discontent and internal war. Holding old grudges, being bitter and fueling constant anger create an inner turmoil that chains you to reliving past hurts. Do you really enjoy lugging that ball and chain around? Worse still, your health is impacted by long-lived grievances and your blood pressure, heart rate, physical and spiritual health will be suffering.  Remind yourself that when you forgive, you remove the toxic feelings from your life; it is not about condoning what another person did but it is about no longer letting that person's actions ruin your outlook on life. When you feel yourself getting angry at someone that hurt you, try to stop and think. Breathe slowly for a second. Does being angry make your life better? Does the hate you feel make you happy? Would the people that really love you want you to keep suffering like this? The answer to all of these questions is "no"...so release those negative feelings and seek out positive ones instead. . Patience is the begetter of calm. Impatience is the source of agitation and turbulence. Impatience says "I want it NOW" and when "it" doesn't appear now, you're liable to lose your temper and let the blood pressure rise. Impatience is often linked to unreasonable expectations about the world and other people (you expect too much of both yourself and of other people) and is often linked to perfectionism, which allows of no space to make errors or slow down. A calm person, on the other hand, is fully aware that errors occur sometimes and that speeding things up is liable to bring on errors, not alleviate them.  If you catch yourself wanting to rush to do something, stop and evaluate the situation. Will someone die if you don't get what you need right now? If not, consider that stressing about this situation will only make your life worse and might even impair your judgement. If you're still having trouble being patient, you might just need to practice more. Start by trying to be patient with small things, like waiting in line at the grocery store. Distract yourself by reading all of the headlines on the magazines in the checkout line. Work your way up to more challenging areas in your life, like road rage or dealing with your kids. Most of the time, it is okay to not worry. Most of the time the news, the rumors, the negativity, the volatility, the insane highs and lows of human systems are just noise. Listen to too much of it and you sink into the mire of the rat race, ever running somewhere without a clear map forward. That will create intense disquiet and unease in your life. The wise person knows what to read, who to listen to and when to ignore the rumors (most of the time). The wise person is calm because the wise person accesses knowledge and knows how to use it for betterment of life. Many people try to push, push and make for the exit even before the door is open (both in the metaphorical sense, and not). Consider all the times when a plane lands and everyone rushes to get off but all they do is end up standing in a queue. Know when it's really important to hurry and when it's okay to slow down. You'll find that for most situations, it's okay to slow down. Slowing down will also let you doing things more thoroughly so that you can get them right and do them well the first time around. This will save you even more stress later on. Procrastination is one of the biggest sources of stress in our lives. If you can learn to just get things done early or at least on time, you'll find yourself a lot more calm. This, of course, means focusing when things are supposed to be getting done and save distractions for later! One way a lot of people lose a lot of time during the day is to checking their email. Have specific email times, just two or three times a day, and do not check your email in between.
حدد نقاط قوتك. استخدم التأكيد الذاتي. كن عطوفًا مع نفسك. اعف واصفح عن نفسك وعن الآخرين. كن صبورًا. فكر في الأشياء قبل أن تبدأ في القلق بشأنها. بطء رتم حياتك. توقف عن المماطلة.