Once you have an idea of the things you would like to change about yourself, put them in an order from most important to least important. Resolve to start with the most important.   Remember that change is difficult. This means you do not want to attempt to change too many things at once. Furthermore, you may make the first change and realize that it is enough for you. Maybe the person you wanted to become was not so different from who you already were. Or, you may want revise your priorities after making some initial changes. Don't feel bound by your first attempt at setting priorities. Once you've decided what it is you want to change, your next step is determining what you'll need to do it.  For example, If you want to become more assertive, you will need to seek out resources such classes and reading about assertiveness. You may want to talk to a business associate who is assertive, and ask how he or she handles certain situations. You may take part in an assertiveness training group or class. Take an inventory of what you will need to start your journey. You may find this easier if you break down your change goals into steps. Think about exactly what you'll need to do to become the person you want to be, and make a plan for achieving each step. Breaking life goals down into smaller parts makes the process more manageable. It also makes it easier to see your progress. This can help you stay motivated. Setting deadlines for achieving these steps can provide more motivation and accountability. Because you don't control outside events, there will be obstacles that stand in the way of becoming you want to be. Making a plan to deal with foreseeable obstacles will help you deal with them as they come up.  For example, imagine you have several goals and it becomes too difficult to work on your top priority at some point. You might plan to work on another goal and return to the first one when circumstances are more favorable. For example, you may experience confusion or push-back from friends or family members. If you are becoming more assertive, for instance, some people may see this as bossy and react negatively. You could prepare for this with an explanation of what you are trying to achieve. For example: “I’ve been striving to be more assertive, and it’s a very important goal to me. You have probably noticed that I’m more forthcoming with my opinions and needs. I’m still practicing how to do this with tact, but I hope that you will support me in this goal.” You might experience time or money constraints. For example, you may save money for an assertiveness training class. But, you might have an emergency and need to spend that money. You could prepare for this obstacle with a backup plan. A reasonable plan would be to move back your goal completion date. You could continue to work on assertiveness through books until you have saved enough money again.
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