The first requirement to changing an aspect of your personality is to believe that you can change. If you don't have this conviction, then your personality will remain the same. No matter what circumstances you're in, believing that you can change is the single most important contributor to success in changing your personality.  Most of us grew up believing that our characters or personalities were going to always be a certain way. Research now suggests that this isn't true. If you don't believe you can change, think about why this might be the case. Consider what ways the aspects of your personality you don't care for might be serving you. If there are fears that are keeping you from believing that you can change, address the fears. Review the "Big Five" personality factors that psychologists agree make up the traits of a person's personality. You can use these as guidelines to begin to figure out what you'd like to change. Once you've identified the general trait you'd like to change, start to think of smaller, concrete ways to do so. Be as specific as you can about the change you'd like to make, and specifically how you'd like to make it. The Big Five are as follows:   Openness to Experience: This includes your willingness to experiment, depth of emotions, intellectual curiosity, and tolerance for diversity.  Conscientiousness: Also known as your work ethic, the facets of this personality factor includes self-discipline, orderliness, your sense of competence, and your sense of responsibility.  Extraversion: If you are shy, you will want to consider improving on these traits, like assertiveness, warmth, gregariousness, and your activity level.  Agreeableness: Traits like sincerity, modesty, trust in others, sympathy, and altruism all fall under this factor.  Natural Reactions: Consider how emotionally reactive you are. Do you have intense reactions to minor events? You may want to work on a trait in this personality factor, like anxiety, hostility, sensitivity to stress, self-consciousness, and self-indulgence. If you're not sure what you want to change, but only feel that you want to be different somehow, spend more time thinking about what's creating your discomfort. If you're still not sure how to think about this, ask for help. People who might be helpful include: your parents, a good friend, a counselor, a therapist, a religious authority, or another trusted person. The important thing is to remember that you don't have to do this alone. Before you throw yourself into cultivating a new trait, consider how it might help or hinder your life and whether or not it aligns with your values. If you're thinking about trying to become a demure, compliant person, but your values include standing up and shouting when you see injustice or wrongdoing, then your new personality trait is going to clash with your values and may cause some confusion and discomfort. You may want to rethink traits that don't align with your values. The first thing to notice is how you currently identify with that aspect of your personality. Most people form their identities around their personality traits. For example, if you are quick to react with anger, you might feel nervous about letting go of that defensive aspect of your personality. You might fear that people will think you or weak or can take advantage of you.  Having fear about making a change in your personality is natural! It's important to acknowledge the fear, so that you can set it aside. Make a plan to handle the ambivalence you might feel around making this change in your personality. Using positive affirmations, relaxation techniques, and accountability partners are all ways that people might handle any fears or reservations about making changes in who they are. Part of believing that you can change is visualizing yourself in a new life, with a new way of being. For instance, if you believe you can be an introvert, visualize yourself gaining energy from spending time alone. Develop the belief that a quiet night at home feeds your soul. Imagine yourself happily engaged in your favorite solitary activities.  Being willing to learn new traits means letting go of other ideas you may have once had about yourself. If you're learning to be happy alone, for instance, notice every time you start to feel like a social misfit for being by yourself. Learn to laugh at yourself for these slip-ups. Notice other people who share personality traits that you'd like to cultivate for yourself, and imitate these people in your daily life. A role model is someone who exemplifies the kind of life, or lifestyle, you'd like to create for yourself. As you visualize yourself in the new personality, it can help to have others around you who already seem to demonstrate these qualities or characteristics.  For example, if you're trying to become a warmer person, notice other people who appear warm and happy when helping others. What are these people like, and what do they do? You can learn a lot by imitating them. It may help you persevere in changing your life if you remember that you, too, are a role model for others. Are you living the life you want others to see and imitate? Will the changes that you're making create the kind of life you're proud of? The more often you are able to practice your new personality trait, the more generalized it will become. Practicing your new personality in multiple settings, at all different times of day and night, is necessary for the new trait to feel natural.  Be alert for opportunities to act in the new way, rather than in your old way. For example, if you're practicing being spontaneous rather than cautious, invite a new friend to go roller-skating. Do things that you don't expect to do. If at first it feels artificial to act in this new way, don't be surprised. As the old adage goes, "Fake it, until you make it!" An affirmation is a positive statement regarding what you believe, or what you would like to believe. If you want to change who you are, you'll likely have to change the beliefs you have about yourself and your limitations. These negative beliefs are limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs can be replaced with positive beliefs, or affirmations.  For example, if you believe that you're the kind of person who's easily overwhelmed, exchange that belief for the idea that you have great stamina. Write your own affirmation on an index card, and post it where you will see it multiple times per day. Whenever you see it, read it to yourself aloud. Gradually, this will start to become part of your conscious belief about yourself. Personality change coaching or counseling can help you identify which traits you want to change, and how to accomplish those changes. You can discuss your values and your vision of your ideal self, and a counselor can teach you techniques, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and  commitment therapy, or solution focused therapy, to help you reach your goals.
صدق أنه من الممكن التغيير. اختر صفة من صفاتك الشخصية التي تريد تغييرها. فكر في النواحي الإيجابية والسلبية في الصفة الجديدة. لاحظ مشاعرك تجاه التغير. تخيل نفسك في الشخصية الجديدة. تعرف على أمثلة جديدة يقتدى بها. مارس صفاتك الشخصية الجديدة. استخدم عبارات التأكيد. اسع للاستشارة النفسية.