Priming is a psychological technique in which you frame a person’s thoughts or behavior in a certain way by employing particular words or phrases.  Your partner will be more cooperative and willing to help you if you prime them to admit they are honest.  Simply ask your partner casually, “How honest would you say you are?”  Your partner should reply that they’re very honest (especially with you). Most people want to imagine themselves as honest, and by helping your partner remind themselves that they are honest (or see themselves as honest) will make them more willing to admit they’re cheating. If your partner is trying to hide their infidelity, they will tell many lies about where they are going or where they’ve been, things they’ve done, and people they’ve been with.  In order to get your partner to confess – or to gather evidence that your partner is cheating – ask your partner to share their alibi in a different way.  Liars often cannot tell their story in reverse (ordering the events of the story from last to first), and have a hard time telling their story from a starting point in the middle of the story, too.  Encourage your partner to recap their story, using the last thing they said happened.  Then ask, “What did you say happened right before that?”  If they say they can’t remember, or if they offer a different sequence of events than what they initially reported, point out their error.  Ask, for instance, “Are you sure that’s where you were?” or “What really happened?” If your partner offers you a story about where they were and what they did, retell their story incorrectly, and add some damning detail about their cheating behavior.  For instance, imagine you think your partner is having an affair with a coworker.  When you ask them where they’ve been, they might say they went out for drinks with their friends.  In reply, you could say, “Oh, you went bowling with your friends and coworker?”  They might reply, “I didn’t go bowling with my friends.”  In this case, your partner’s partial denial suggests that the other part of your statement – that they were out with their coworker – is true. Your partner will probably catch the fact that they failed to correct the second part of your statement and quickly cover themselves This works best if you pretend to be deeply interested in something else like reading a book or watching a film. Open questions are those which require more than simple yes/no answers.  Open questions force your partner to start talking, and the more information they provide, the more evidence you’ll have to draw on later when you try to demonstrate to your partner that you know what’s going on.  Open questions will also make your partner comfortable, which could lull them into revealing – directly or indirectly – that they were cheating. Listen for small details that you can verify later.  Check these details out.  For instance, talk to the people your partner says they were with to find out if your partner’s story checks out. If you ask too many direct, pointed questions, your partner will probably clam up and prove unwilling to confess that they are cheating.  It is normal to ask a few questions about your partner’s day when you both arrive home from work, such as, “What have you been up to?” or “Why are you home so late?”  But if you demonstrate that you’re suspicious before you think your partner is ready to crack, you’ll only push them to frustration, and end up getting only sarcastic or obviously untrue answers.  Stick to natural patterns of conversation.  Use the conversation patterns you and your partner had before you began to suspect they were cheating as a baseline for normal conversation. On the whole, avoid pointed questions like “What were you doing?”, “Who were you with?”, and “Where were you?” Getting nasty or passive-aggressive (or even just aggressive) with your partner will not inspire them to be more open with you.  Instead, adopt a light, non-judgmental, and curious tone when asking your partner questions.  This will prevent them from suspecting that you suspect them of cheating.  If your partner starts to believe you’re onto them, they might take extra steps to conceal their actions and throw you off the trail. Stay calm and level-headed when asking questions of your partner. If you are feeling emotional or physically enraged, you may not be ready to have the conversation yet. This can be a hard topic to approach, so wait until you are able to be calm.
استحث الطرف الآخر. اطلبي من زوجك أن يروي قصته بطريقة مختلفة. أعيدي رواية زوجك بشكل خاطئ. اطرح أسئلة مفتوحة. لا تتمادى في الضغط على زوجتك. تجنب النبرة الاتهامية الباردة.