Finding a shared interest is conversational gold. When you find a topic that both of you enjoy talking about, the conversation will flow much more easily. Even if it's something you're not particularly knowledgeable about, demonstrate your interest by asking him plenty of questions and allow him to do the talking.  For example, if you discover that you both like to watch football, ask him about his favorite team, who he thinks their best players are and whether they'll make it to the playoffs this year. Once you get him going there'll be no stopping him, and he'll probably think you're a pretty cool girl for being interested. Pick up on hints about his interests from his clothing, desk or accessories. If he's wearing a band tee - bingo! He likes music. If he has a surfing picture set as his desktop background, that's a pretty good indication he likes to ride the waves. Picking up on small details can help you to choose the right topic to get him going. . To really get the conversation going and to find out about your guy's interests and personality, it's important to ask open-ended questions. Avoid questions with one-word answers or rote questions that he'll automatically answer without thinking.  For example, avoid starting a conversation with "how are you?" which he'll probably answer by reflex with a "fine" or a "good". Instead try asking him "what did you do this weekend?" or "what do you think of the new boss?" which will force him to think about his answer and actually string a sentence together. Alternatively, you can try asking him an "either-or" question, to initiate a playful debate. Ask him whether he prefers "The Simpsons" or "Family Guy", rock or hip-hop, burgers or hot dogs. Whatever he answers, gently tease him about it and soon you'll both be laughing. more than you talk. Conversational etiquette dictates that you should always listen more than you talk. That's why you have two ears and only one mouth, right? So once you've got the ball rolling, take a back seat during the conversation and really listen to what he's got to say. Let him take charge of the conversation for a while - in case you've never noticed, guys tend to like the sound of their own voice.  Even when you're not talking, try to stay engaged in the conversation. Acknowledge things he says with a smile, nod or other appropriate facial expression or gesture.  Being a good listener during your conversation does two things: it allows you to make a good impression, letting the guy know that you're thoughtful and easy to talk to, while also giving you the chance to see whether you actually think this guy is worth your time. From the things the guy says, you'll get a pretty good idea of his personality and you can think about whether you want to take the next step. This is important because - let's face it - if you don't find him interesting now, you won't find him any more interesting on a date. On the other hand, if you've got nothing to say for yourself, he may not find you very interesting. Elevate your conversation beyond everyday chitchat by posing an interesting or thought-provoking question that will make him think and ensure that you make an impression. Give him something to ponder and you'll be in his head long after the conversation has ended.  For example, ask him fun yet interesting questions like "If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be?" or "If your house were on fire, what three things would you save?" or "If you were a fictional character, who would you be?" These questions will hopefully make him smile and give you a little insight into his personality. Or you can get a little more serious and personal and ask him questions like "what is your biggest regret in life?" or "where do you see yourself in ten years?" Just to be clear, these are not the kind of questions that you ask to open a conversation or that you bring up completely out of the blue. If you do, he'll probably think you're just a teeny bit crazy. These questions are best reserved for when the initial awkwardness has passed, maybe after a couple of drinks. Pop culture is the old reliable when it comes to conversational material. Everyone, no matter what their interests, will have something to say about movies, music, television shows, books or the latest crazy celebrity baby names. Once you've gotten a sense of what his interests are, you can ask him whether he's seen a particular movie, read a particular book, or heard a popular band's new record.  Also try asking for the guy's opinion or recommendation when it comes to an aspect of pop culture he considers himself an expert on. Guys love to show off their vast knowledge, especially to a rapt audience. For example, if he loves Woody Allen movies but you've never seen any, ask him which is the best one to start with. Feeling confident? Maybe you could suggest watching it together. Or if you can find something random that you're just as knowledgeable about as he is, you're in luck. Impress him with your love of obscure 70's punk-rock bands or your readership of Franco-Belgian comic books. He might just think you're The One. The final step in successfully conversing with a guy is to know when to gracefully bow out. You should always leave him wanting more, not wishing you'd take the hint and leave. After a particularly successful joke or story, you should try to make your exit. Tell him that you need to get back to work or should be getting home. Hopefully he'll be disappointed you're leaving and will look forward to the next time you get a chance to talk.  If you feel that things really went well and you like this guy even more now, put yourself out there and suggest that the two of you go out for coffee or drinks after work sometime. If you feel too awkward to say it out loud, do like the girls in the movies and slip him your number on a scrap of paper. Right before you leave, you should look the guy straight in the eyes, flash him a smile and say "I really enjoyed talking to you, *insert guy's name here*" It's personal, it's flirtatious and it's so much more memorable than "see you later".
ابحثي عن اهتمام مشترك. اطرحي عليه أسئلة مفتوحة النهاية أنصتي أكثر مما تحدثين. اطرحي سؤالًا مثيرًا للاهتمام. تحدثي عن الثقافة السائدة. أنهي المحادثة بشيءٍ مثير.