Problems with self-esteem often arise due to some external stressor or crisis. While you might not be able to prevent this, you can have some control over how you think about things. When you feel negative thoughts popping up, stop and turn them into something more positive.  When you think something self-critical (such as “I’m so stupid”), ask yourself questions like: “Is it true? Would I say it to/about someone else? Do I gain anything by thinking this? What would I gain if I stopped thinking this way?” Focus on subtly rephrasing thoughts so that they put more emphasis on how to view a situation positively. For instance, instead of thinking “I won’t let myself be so distracted at school any more,” try saying to yourself “I am going to develop my work ethic.” Try this simple exercise. Fold a piece of paper in half. On one side, write any negative thoughts you may have about yourself. On the other side, write a corresponding positive thought to replace each negative one. No one can succeed at everything all of the time. Failure is a part of life. You can, however, recognize and feel good about your effort when you try hard at something. You can also think about how you can learn from mistakes. For instance, if you don’t do well on an exam (even if you studied hard), take a moment to recognize your effort. You probably did better than if you hadn’t studied at all, and you can review your mistakes to find out how to improve in the future. Your body and mind often suggest what you need to do, and listening to your needs can help you feel better. This might mean something as simple as getting more sleep if you feel tired. However, listening to yourself also means trusting and following your thoughts and instincts. For instance, if you find yourself constantly thinking about moving to be closer to family, that might be something important for you to do. Life is often very competitive, but it is important to set standards for yourself rather than trying to match everyone else. Recognize that everyone isn’t the best at everything, and that each person has individual strengths. If you feel like you want to improve some aspect of your life, make a goal of doing it for yourself, and don’t worry about what others do or think. For example, if you want to develop your abilities in a sport like basketball or tennis, set a goal that you think would be a personal improvement, rather than just trying to match or beat someone else. If you feel you have a problem with self-esteem, you don’t have to handle it alone. Good friends and family will be happy to make you feel better, spend time with you, and share your good qualities. You can also find a support group or counselor in your area to work with and find ways to develop your self-esteem. Knowing what causes you to feel low self-esteem can help you combat the problem. Sometimes, specific causes can be hard to identify, but common triggers include:  A high-stakes situation, such as a major project at work or school Significant changes in personal or professional life, such as the end of a relationship or the loss of a job A crisis, such as illness, injury, financial problems Bullying Negative perceptions of body image
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