If you are avoiding social contact or feel excessive and unreasonable amounts of anxiety or panic, consider seeking help from a professional therapist. There are times when a normal fear grows into a phobia and must be addressed. Consider selecting a therapist who practices treatment methods such as:  Systematic desensitization: A form of classical conditioning that removes a fear response and replaces it with a relaxation response.  Hypnotherapy: A form of communicating during hypnosis that facilitates a person’s imagination to alter thought patterns, feelings and sensations.  Neuro linguistic programming (NLP): An approach that explores the interplay between your mind, language and how it affects your body and your behavior.  Cognitive behavioral therapy: An approach that allows you to examine your thoughts and behaviors to determine ways to balance inaccuracies. It has been shown to be effective with managing anxiety and depression related to phobias. Relaxation helps lower your stress and fear. If fear takes a hold of you prior to or when you are in a private, work or social situation, pause and take a minute to breathe and tap into the relaxation skills you have learned. Relaxation techniques include:  Guided imagery: This involves focusing on calming images and can be done by yourself or with help from a therapist. Biofeedback: A technique that trains you to lower your heart rate and blood pressure, which are associated with fear. Breathing exercises: These help to calm the nervous system associated with the fight-or-flight response, which is triggered when you feel fear. Real change does not occur without identifying the emotional underpinnings of your behavior. Are you struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression? Work with the counselor to peel back the layers of events and emotions that have gotten you into the struggle.  Your fear may be anchored to a trauma that you experienced as a child or as an adult. Talking with a counselor and processing the trauma will help to re-frame and manage your fears. A fear of being murdered can be related to identifiable and treatable disorders such as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and schizophrenia, or may be caused by post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A counselor or psychiatrist can help identify related disorders and help you deal with them. A psychiatrist can also recommend medications to treat any underlying disorders and help you get past your fears. When something sets off an emotion and it reminds you of a previous situation that upset you, it is referred to as a trigger. Identifying situations that trigger your fears require personal introspection (the process of directly attempting to access your own internal processes).  You can diffuse the feelings by stopping yourself from reacting when your trigger has been activated. Once you stop you can determine if the threat is real or not. For example, you are extremely nervous and afraid that you will ______. Challenge the thought by saying, “You cannot predict the future and you have never _____ before. You can handle this.” Use positive self-talk to calm your thoughts and nerves. For example, if you feel your fear, anxiety or stress increase, tell yourself, “You are fine and you are safe. The chances of my being murdered are highly unlikely. Relax and breathe. Have a good time.” Commit to changing your behavior. In both psychotherapy and physical therapy, you will benefit from setting goals. For example, you might establish a goal that you would like to increase the amount of joy in your life by lessening your fear of being murdered. Perhaps you would like to be able to go out at night to events rather than be afraid to go outside when it is dark. Engage fully into the process. Keep moving forward, even when it gets difficult. Your hard work will pay off and leave you with a healthy sense of accomplishment. To change your beliefs you must analyze and determine whether your worries are actually doing what you believe they are doing. If they aren’t, then it’s time to change. Challenge your beliefs by asking:  Do you really feel safer when you worry about being murdered? Is worrying really worth the time and energy you put into it? Does worrying about it lead you to take action, or do you just worry and remain inactive? Once you see that worrying is an ineffective way to manage situations, you can find other ways to get the same results.
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