If your girlfriend is completely ignoring you, you might not be able to get in touch with her via phone or in person. If you know she is still getting your texts, you might try sending her a message that expresses your concern and asks her to meet up and talk. Example: “You haven't been responding to my texts lately. When that happens, I feel hurt and wonder if you're still happy in our relationship. Can we meet up and talk?” If you know her schedule, you might even suggest a day and time when she is usually free, which could make it easier to get her to commit to meeting up. Skip this step if your girlfriend responds to you via text or phone. If you can't get in touch with her via text or phone, but you know that she is still okay (i.e. hanging out with friends, posting to social media), you might try sending her a message that lays out your feelings and concerns via her Facebook inbox or an email address.  If you choose to send an email/private message, be sensitive to your tone. Write a draft, then re-read it after you've had a good night's sleep. Make sure that it isn't mean or disrespectful. Be specific. Provide concrete examples of what she does and how you feel. Be sure to word it in a way that isn't accusatory: “When we were at that party on Saturday, you spent the whole night talking to other people. We didn't get a chance to talk at all, and you left without saying goodbye, even though we were sitting across from each other in the same room. When you did that, I felt hurt. I wasn't sure if I had done something wrong. I am worried about you, and I am worried about us. I would like to get together in person and talk this through. Or, if you're uncomfortable with that, I am also open to communicating via email for now.”  Before sending your email, try to put yourself in her shoes as you give it a final read. Think about how it might sound to her, and how she might react, and edit it to ensure that you are sharing your thoughts and feelings in the most effective way possible. If she understands your side and doesn't feel threatened, she's more likely to respond. If you manage to meet up with her in person to talk, use empathetic body language. This will show her that you're committed to understanding her side of the story, and it should encourage her to open up. Empathetic body language includes facing the person in an open position (i.e. not crossing your arms or hunching over or turning away), nodding and using eye contact to signal that you hear what she's saying, and making reassuring sounds to show understanding without interrupting. In nonviolent communication, you focus on your own thoughts and feelings rather than accusing the other person of doing something wrong.  Organize what you say in the following order: observations, feelings, needs, and requests.  Example: “For the past week you've not answered my calls and you've cancelled our plans twice. I'm starting to worry that you're not interested in having a relationship with me any more.” After you've expressed how you feel, let her know that you are open to communication, and encourage her to share her feelings. Example: “For the past week you've not answered my calls and you've cancelled our plans twice. I'm starting to worry that you're not interested in having a relationship with me any more. I would like it if we could have a conversation about our relationship. If it's not our relationship that's the problem, then I would like it if you could open up to me about what else is going on.” If she admits that she's unhappy in some way, ask her what she needs/what you can do. She might need space, or maybe she wants you to do something you're not doing — it might even be something simple like hugging her more often or telling her she's beautiful.  If she asks for space, don't panic. Again, this could be completely about her and really have nothing to do with you.  Ask her if she knows how long she might need. If she says she doesn't know, suggest a time that feels okay to you — perhaps a week. Be supportive. Ask her if there's anything you can do — for example, call at the end of the week to check in. If you decide to give each other space, ensure that you are both clear on what that means. For some, space might just mean only talking on the phone twice a week instead of every night, or, it might mean an entire week without any communication whatsoever. Clarifying what “space” means to you will help make that time easier.   Know that you don't HAVE to give her what she says she needs. If you aren't comfortable with something that she requests, it's okay to tell her that. The two of you might be able to make a compromise. Ultimately the two of you need to respect one another's needs and boundaries. When it's her turn to speak, actively listen to her. This involves empathetic body language (open stance, nodding, reassuring sounds) as well as showing your understanding by repeating what she has said and/or asking for clarification. If you are hurt by something that she says, it's okay to let her know that, but try to let her know in a non-confrontational way.  Example: “Thank you for opening up to me. When you said that I'm too clingy, I felt sad and a bit confused. I enjoy spending time with you, but I'm also happy to do my own thing. I would like to know some of the specific things I do that lead you to think that I'm clingy. Maybe I'll be able to change some of those things.” If she can give you some specific examples, even if you don't agree with them, it will help you get a better sense of what she wants from the relationship. Knowing what she wants will give you a clearer idea of whether you're able or willing to give it to her.  Don't roll your eyes or interrupt her while she is talking. Let her get it all out before you respond. What she has to say might be upsetting for you to hear; you might not agree, but just let her get it all out before you respond.
حدِّد موعدًا للتحدث شخصيًا. أرسِل بريدًا إليكترونيًا أو رسالة خاصة. استخدم لغة جسد عطوفة. عبِّر عن أفكارك ومشاعرك باستخدام التواصل غير العنيف. اسألها عن نفسها. اسألها عن احتياجاتها. كن منصتًا نشطًا.