If you've been seeing someone on the side, you might be experiencing a great deal of confusion and grief over the process that awaits. A great deal of trust has been broken with your committed partner, while you also need to take the other party's feelings into account. Every relationship will be different, and it's important to evaluate both separately before planning a course of action.  Consider whether or not you should talk to your committed partner, or the new partner first. Generally it's best to talk with the committed partner first. Does your affair know that you're in a committed relationship? If you made promises that you'd end your marriage for your new partner, or that you were committed to both people, you need to take special care to let the affair partner down easy. However, if you want to preserve your relationship with your spouse/committed partner it's important to cut off all contact with the affair partner. Trying to be "just friends" is risky and will be an impediment to healing your primary relationship. Under no circumstances should you bring all parties together and try to hash it out as a group. Even if one or the other partner wants to make this happen, it's a situation that's best avoided. If you're settled on ending a relationship with the person you had an affair with, you also need to decide whether or not you want to stay with your committed partner, and how you choose to address the affair together. Keep in mind that only about 10% of affair relationships lead to marriage and these marriages usually do not last.   If you want to stay together, you need to decide how much of the affair you want to reveal to your partner. If you're feeling extremely guilty and think coming clean would assuage that guilt, then do so as soon as possible. If you feel confident that it will never happen again, consider working on your relationship without revealing the affair. Consider, though, the harm that painful secrets can have on a committed relationship. Should your committed partner learn of the affair from a source other than you this can amplify the pain of betrayal. Why did you feel the need to start a new relationship? Was this a momentary lapse of commitment, or are you dissatisfied in your relationship? Would you be happier to break it off permanently? It's not just up to your partner to decide whether or not to "take you back." If you have a history of multiple affairs consider that there is an addictive quality to your behavior. Individual counseling with a skilled therapist could help. There are also 12-step groups to help those who tend to be serial cheaters. . Just because affairs might be somewhat outside the purview of traditional relationships doesn't mean you don't owe your affair partner the same courtesy and respect as a more formal relationship. If you choose to end it, do so respectfully, honestly, and in person. If you do it by phone allow your committed partner to listen if desired. Explain that you need to end all contact. You should not have email, phone conversations or lunches together. This would be treading into tempting territory and only serves to prolong the process. You may need to change phone numbers and email addresses to avoid all contact with the affair partner If your affair partner knows that you're in a committed relationship, it can be heartbreaking to have not "been chosen," even if that's not the way you're looking at the relationship. If you want to end a relationship with a person you committed an affair with, discuss it in terms of what doesn't work about that relationship, not in terms of your other marriage or committed relationship. Don't look for an easy way out of a relationship by leaving the door open with the possibility of getting back together. Don't try to suggest that you "might get together" if your marriage doesn't work out or that you'll "see what happens." If a relationship is over and it's worth ending, end it for good. If you're only ending an affair because you got caught, be thankful. Sometimes it takes a jolt to get out of the infatuation of the "affair fog." This allows you to step back and sincerely and respectfully examine both relationships. . If you were sexually active with more than one partner at the same time, it's very important that you get screened for sexually transmitted infections as soon as possible. For the safety of yourself and both partners, get tested. If you didn't practice safe sex during an affair, it's important that you tell your committed partner. Even if you're not experiencing symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases, it's still possible to pass STDs on to your partner. You owe it to your partner to come clean for the sake of their health. Even if you're going to come clean, make sure that your partner doesn't accidentally come across racy photos, emails, or other social networking correspondence between you and the person involved in the affair. If you're going to work on reforging your relationship, these can be unnecessary little road-bumps that will keep that from happening. Avoid looking at online pornography.
تقييم العلاقتين كل واحدة على حدة. قرر ما إذا كنت تريد الاستمرار مع زوجتك. أنهي العلاقة العاطفية مثلما تنهي أي علاقة عادية. لا تترك الباب مفتوحًا. تأكد من خلوك من الأمراض المنقولة بسبب الاتصال الجنسي. احذف كل الصور التي تم تبادلها على شبكة الإنترنت.