Cross off things that do not make sense or do not seem quite true after you give them more thought. Replace them with things that you notice are missing. Also, put an asterisk next to things that are really true or strike a chord with you. Fight against feelings of hopelessness and discouragement as you identify areas of self-improvement. One way to do this is to give yourself small rewards for identifying areas of self-improvement and acting on them. Also, when feelings of hopelessness and discouragement surface, focus on “low hanging fruit” and evaluate something that feels relatively painless and easy to fix. Remember, you are not rating your worthiness as a human being, just trying to identify differences between your actual self and your ideal self. Seeing yourself objectively is not always easy, and an honest assessment by somebody outside can help you gauge whether your personal assessment is reasonable. Keep things in perspective. So you haven't won your Nobel Peace Prize yet.  Neither have most of the rest of us. You're only human, and nobody, including yourself, should expect perfection of you. Take your areas of improvement and create goals for working towards. For goals that seem too audacious, consider breaking them down into sub-goals. Make sure to define success in such a way that you can identify when you have been successful and are likely to be successful. For example, if you think you have a weight problem, take a goal like “Lose 100 pounds” and break it up into smaller steps that will get you to your goal. Think of as many small changes as you can that together can add up to you meeting your audacious goal. For example, the first week cut out all soda and drinks with sugar. Second week, cut out all packaged baked goods, like cookies and doughnuts, and replace them with healthier versions. Keep restructuring your diet until you are eating mostly healthy foods almost all the time. Keep your lists to remind you of both your strengths and your new goals. When you successfully complete an action or reach a goal, cross it off and add another item to your list. If you get stuck, identify the barriers to progress and focus on how to overcome them. For example, if you can’t get rid of your gambling addiction, think about how you started the process of quitting and when you have not been successful. Maybe you identified that you turn to gambling on the weekends when you do not have anything else to do, and you can start planning more activities to occupy your time on the weekends. Through all of this remember to separate your behaviors from who you are as a person. You are not your actions and your actions do not define your self worth. As you focus on areas of improvement, it can seem like all you are ever doing is “improving” yourself. So, make sure to focus on areas where you do not need improvement. For example, if you are focusing on exercising more, and you have met all your exercise goals over the last month, it's okay to take a day off and go to the movies instead of going for a run. You just have to be careful that you are not backsliding and undoing all of your good work.
راجع نقاط القوة، والفرص، والجوانب التي تحتاج إلى التطوير لديك. لا تستسلم. اسأل أصدقاءك الذين تثق بهم كيف يرونك. ضع خطة تنفيذية. ضع جدولًا لتسجل فيه التقدم الذي تحرزه. كن لطيفًا مع نفسك وأعطِ كل شيء حقه.