If you're a little more passive then you'd like to be, chances are that you often find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no. This can create internal stress and a lot of resentment toward the other person. To avoid this, it's important to first figure out what you want to do and don't.  When someone asks you to do something, ask yourself if it's really something that you want to do. If you find yourself saying that it won't be so bad, stop and ask yourself again if it's something that you really want to do. If you want to do it, then you won't have to convince yourself. It will help you stay emotionally centered. This is important so that you can sound calm as you speak.  Inhale air through your nose and feel the air travel to your belly. Then allow the air to be released through your mouth. This deep breath will remind you to stay calm. If you're having the conversation in person, try not to be too overtly obvious when taking the deep breath. At first, this may seem a little awkward because you're used to always saying yes. However, it's important to set boundaries with others. Being more assertive has many benefits such as the following:  Greater self-confidence More respect from others Better self-esteem Improved decision making Increased job satisfaction Better relationships If others are used to your compliance, they may show some resistance when you start saying no. However, it is important for you to remain firm. Keep shortening your “no” statement by a word or two each time the person tries to insist.  For example, you could say that you are not able to do that. Then you could say that's impossible to do for you. If the person continues to insist, it's time to be very direct by simply saying no. Clearly the other person is not respecting your boundaries and there's no point in continuing to go around in circles. It's time to simply say no. At times it may be difficult to say “no” in such a direct manner. For example, if keeping your job is a priority, you probably shouldn't just tell your supervisor “no” and walk away. When you are in a bind and just saying “no” isn't an option, then try offering alternatives instead. For example, you could say the following:  “Can I suggest another idea instead?” “Is there someone else who can do this?” (you can explain why it would be difficult for you to comply with the request.) If the person is not open to other options, it may be helpful to discuss your concerns with her. You could say that you understand her request, however, you have some serious reservations and discuss your concerns. You may continue to get some push back even though you have made it clear that you are unable to comply with the request. At this point, it's probably a good time to end the conversation so that the situation doesn't escalate.  You could say that you have to go or that your spouse is waiting for you and walk away. If you're having the conversation over the phone, you could say that it was a great conversation but you have to go. If you are having a conversation with a supervisor, you might want to say that you know about the task, but that you are simply unable to do it.
حدد ما الذي تود أن تفعله وما الذي لا ترغب به. خذ نفسًا عميقًا. قل أنك لا يمكنك فعل الأمر اليوم. كرر الجملة مرة أو مرتين. قل لا. فكر في بدائل. الخروج من المحادثة.