If you have have experienced past traumas or abuse, it can be difficult to move past these experiences to attain inner peace. It can also be difficult to work on processing these experiences without help. If you are experiencing any of the following, especially if these feelings interfere with your ability to function in daily life, consider seeing a mental health professional:  Anxiety Insomnia or changes in your sleep habits Irritability or mood swings Flashbacks or memories that come upon you unwanted Feeling disconnected or isolated Feeling “shut down” or emotionless Depression Fears or phobias Difficulty concentrating or making decisions Feeling threatened or unsafe Thoughts or feelings of wanting to hurt yourself In many cases, resolving the past can be helped along by sharing your feelings and experiences with others, especially if they’ve had similar experiences. Talking to others about your past and how it has affected you allows you to explore the influence of these experiences. This can help you resolve and move through them to attain inner peace.  Support groups may be particularly helpful for victims of domestic violence and those who are struggling with an addiction. Try to share positive feelings and experiences with your support group as well as the pain. You may also find that joining a spiritual group is helpful to you. Writing about your feelings and past experiences can help you process them. A journal gives you a safe space to record and explore your feelings without fearing anyone’s judgment. You can also use your journal to reflect on possible solutions and things you can do in the future. Just make sure that you do not end up judging yourself. Show yourself the compassion you would a beloved friend. For example, if you write about a painful experience that made you feel unloved, refrain from making judgments such as “I’m just unlovable.” Instead, show yourself kindness; “That experience really hurt, and that reaction is natural. I may need to look for love and support from others if this person continues to treat me this way.” Many times, we learn negative habits of thinking from those in our lives, even when nobody realizes it. For example, if your father took things very personally, you may have learned to do so too. Try to note when you have a “gut reaction” or negative thought. Take a moment to examine the evidence for your reaction.  Watch for personalization. It’s hard to have inner peace when you’re convinced everything is about you. For example, if your child’s teacher says that he needs more help with his homework, you might interpret this as a personal attack instead of what it really is: a statement of fact that your child needs help, and his teacher thinks you can offer it. Remind yourself that most things are not directed as personal attacks, and that you aren’t entirely responsible for everything. When you notice thoughts like this, or other thoughts that feel negative or disruptive, try looking for the evidence for your thought or feeling. Try to consider other ways to look at the situation. Remind yourself that a single negative experience does not characterize you, nor does it determine the future. Sometimes, our relationships can keep us from attaining inner peace, especially if they’re unhealthy or insecure. It can be hard to set boundaries with people you’ve had in your life for a long time. Strengthen yourself and find your inner peace by setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Determine what your needs and values are and set guidelines according to those. For example, perhaps your mother calls you five times a day, even though you’re done with college and have moved out on your own and are not under her charge anymore. This may cause you a lot of stress. It’s okay to talk with her and say, “Mom, I appreciate that you want to stay in touch with me. I’ve got a lot of other things going on now that I’m out on my own, and I need to make enough time for them. Right now all these calls are making it hard for me. Let’s make a date to talk on Saturdays, okay? That way we can stay in touch and I can still get my other things done.”
تحدَّث مع طبيب نفسيّ. انضم لمجموعة دعم. استكشف الماضي من خلال الكتابة. غيِّر من طريقة تفكيرك. ضع الحدود الصحية.