Allow time to pass before responding to someone you feel is offending you. If you are too easily offended, it has probably become an automatic response for you. This means that there is no time between feeling offended and responding as if you’ve been hurt. So, make time to pause and question whether or not you want to take offense.  If the emotions are running too high to just pause, try counting to ten in your head. Learning and practicing mindfulness exercises regularly will make this step easy as pie. Mindfulness involves learning how to strategically detach from strong emotions so that more measured responses can be formulated.  One mindfulness exercise is to spend time focusing on your breath. When you attend to the sensation of your breath coming and going, you gain a stronger connection to your feelings rather than pesky, automatic thoughts. When letting go of a habitual response like taking offense, there’s no use trying to shut out your knee-jerk thoughts. Instead of ignoring what your mind is telling you, listen to it. That way you can determine for yourself whether or not to purse the offense and make a scene.  If someone says that your haircut might not be the best style for you, your head might be screaming “Oh no she didn’t! Give her a piece of your mind!” Hear this anger and feel your urge to lash out in response. This way you can see that as just one of many possible ways that you could respond. It’s also important to see how angry you feel inside so that you can gauge your next move. For example, if you feel enraged then you may not want to respond humorously (since humor in your state might not be perceived as humor at all). Being certain of our interpretation of what a person means or where she is coming from can turn anything into an offense. Consider great works of art; their beauty comes from the possibility of many different interpretations. No interpretation is right, but each one has the power to make us feel differently.  Imagine that an acquaintance just told you that they decided to stay in instead of accepting your invitation to go together to an event. You may be tempted to make the snap judgment that the person could only have done that because he thinks you make bad choices about what events to attend. Resisting this judgment requires an open mind that is willing to ask "what might this have been about that I am not taking into consideration at this moment?" This can be a helpful exercise to remind yourself that even though you see and experience lots of different things from people, they are not centered on or tailored to you.  You may not get to the bottom of why someone did something, but that’s okay. The point is to begin to put yourself in the offender’s shoes to see that taking offense too easily is needlessly detrimental for everyone involved. If someone refuses an invitation of yours, there are tons of possible reasons why he doesn’t want to leave the house. He could have just received bad news, be feeling down and is too embarrassed to explain that, or just treasure his alone time (which of course has nothing to do with you). When we are anxious and full of energy, we tend to be less forgiving of mild offenses. This is simply because we are looking for new material in the world to “pounce on” or to attend to because, well, we can! Don’t let habitual offense taking spring up and drain energy that could be put to better use, say, marveling at how differently different people express their opinions. There are many different ways you might respond after someone says or does something that doesn’t sit well with you. Here are some possibilities:  Re-route the conversation. Let the matter drop and find a new focus. This is a good option if you feel that attempting to clear up the matter would just create more opportunities to be offended Try using your sense of humor. Even if you are not quite at the point of being able to laugh off potential offenses, try throwing your whole self back into the equation. Calmly ask for clarification. If you hear a comment that you find offensive or rude, think about asking for the person to clarify what they mean. They may have misstated what they meant, or you may have heard incorrectly. Try saying something like, "I'm not sure I understood you, can you make that comment another way?" Before you react to a slight, think about the consequences. Remember that one consequence of taking offense often is that people may begin to walk on eggshells around you or feel a little nervous discussing their thoughts or feelings. What's more, you are keeping yourself in a place of increased tension and anxiety--a harmful state for your body, even if you see other benefits to taking offense. You are also blocking yourself . Try replacing your negative thoughts with self-affirmations and positive frames of whatever situation you’re going through. Letting unchecked negative thoughts stew in our minds is often the direct cause of flying into offense mode. This means letting go of situations that you are tempted to take be offended by. Ruminating over negative feelings is like making an investment in sadness. Your time is valuable, and you don’t need to spend it re-living moments of fleeting discomfort.
حافظ على هدوئك. اعترف بالإهانة المحتملة لتتمكن من تجاهلها. قاوم الحكم على الأشياء. ابحث عن معانٍ وحوافز بديلة. انتبه لمستوى طاقتك. استجب بترحاب. فكّر في النتائج. استخدم المحاورة الإيجابية مع النفس