.  If you've tried just not thinking about someone or something, you know it's not really possible--if it were that easy, you wouldn't be reading this article.  In fact, research has found that it is better to accept your unwanted thoughts rather than to push them away.  In one study, participants who practiced acceptance were less obsessive, had lower levels of depression and were less anxious than those who tried thought suppression.  Accepting your thoughts, does not mean you have to like them or even agree with your thoughts.  You simply have to accept them as part of your current reality.  Allow them to exist and make no effort to try to control or change them.  By doing so, you take away their power, and they begin to occur less frequently. You may have already tried distracting yourself to get the thoughts you want to avoid out of your head, but have you tried focused distraction?  Studies suggest it is better to distract yourself with just one thing rather than jumping from one thing to another trying to divert your attention from unwanted thoughts.  Aimless mind-wandering is associated with unhappiness, so choose a specific task, book or piece of music to concentrate on and give it your full attention. In a study published in the journal Psychological Science, researchers found that when people wrote down their thoughts on a piece of paper and then threw the paper away, they mentally discarded the thoughts as well. Some counselors might instead recommend a worry jar where you can place these thoughts. If you are having obsessive thoughts, try treating the situation as a lesson.  Ask yourself what the lesson is and what you can learn from your mistake.  Try summing it up in just one sentence or less and write it down. When a situation or person has a big impact in life, it often takes time to truly process it. This can be especially true if you have never experienced a situation before, such as  finding out someone cheated on you, witnessing a death, or being in a car accident. Going over and over this in your mind is a natural way to process it. And each person is different--needing time to come to terms with something does not mean you are weak or lacking than someone who does not.
تدرّب على القبول. استخدم أساليب الإلهاء المركّزة. الفظ الأفكار إلى الخارج. استفد من الدرس الكامن. تحل بالصبر.