Many controlling spouses isolate their partners by dominating their time or prohibiting them from going out with friends. If this is the case for you, you must stand up for yourself and let your spouse know that you have no intention of letting your other relationships suffer.  You are entitled to time alone as well, so let your spouse know if you need time to pursue your own hobbies or just be by yourself. Encouraging your spouse to take up hobbies may make this easier. You should still spend some time with your spouse if you are working to improve your marriage. Make this time count by doing enjoyable activities together. If your controlling spouse has repeatedly put you down, you may start to feel as though you did something to deserve that criticism. It's important to remind yourself that you deserve the best, and to do your best not to take this criticism personally. Internalizing criticism can cause you to doubt your own abilities. If this has happened to you, remind yourself of the goals you once wanted to achieve and dismiss any negative thoughts that your spouse may have planted in your head about your abilities. Taking small steps to achieve these goals is a great way to begin to free yourself of a controlling spouse. Many controlling spouses use guilt to control their partners. If your partner does this, you must recognize it as just another tactic that is being used to control you, and not let it affect your decisions.   Some controlling spouses may make their partners feel guilty by complaining about how they will not be able to function if the partner leaves, or even threatening to harm themselves. Other controlling spouses may make their partners feel guilty by making them feel as if they owe the controlling spouse something for housing them or loving them. Many controlling spouses dominate their partners by telling them what to think or what values to have. If you have opinions and beliefs that differ from those of your spouse, it is important to stand up for your right to maintain them.  If you practice a different religion than your spouse, maintain your independence by continuing to go to services on your own or with family members. If you have different political beliefs than your spouse, continue to vote based on your own convictions. In some cases, controlling behavior can be corrected and mutual respect can take its place, but it's important to recognize that this does not always happen. Often, a controlling individual simply cannot be changed, so you need to be willing to end the relationship if it is causing you harm. Certain behaviors should never be tolerated. If your spouse abuses you physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually, leaving the relationship is the best option. If you need support, consider calling a domestic violence hotline.
لا تسمحي لنفسك بالانعزال. تجنبي الاقتناع بانتقادات زوجك. لا تشعري بالذنب أو أنك مدينة له بأي شيء. احترمي معتقداتك وآرائك. استعدي لإنهاء أي علاقة غير صحية.