After you have taken time together as friends, it is time to have an honest talk about your history together and whether or not there might be a romantic future. Although texting and talking over the computer is a common way to communicate in an established relationship, intimate discussions like this should be held in person. Invite your ex over for dinner or head out to your favorite coffee shop. If your ex really liked a certain outfit of yours, wear it again. Share a light-hearted memory you had together. Meet at a familiar place you used to hang out together. If he or she purchased any special jewelry for you, consider wearing it when you meet to talk. This will send a pretty clear message that you still have feelings for him or her. The first thing that you say to your ex is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get them back. You need to understand that even though you're not together, there is a good chance they still harbor strong feelings for you.  There are many ways you can approach this conversation, but one safe way is to say something like, "I've been wanting to talk to you about our relationship and see how you have been." Express regret things didn't work out between you and ask if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Let the conversation naturally progress. If your ex is doing great and reports that he or she is seeing other people, you might decide not to waste your time trying to convince him or her to get back together. But if your ex seems to harbor feelings for you, you can gradually bring up the possibility of giving things another try. . Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology. Take full responsibility for the offense, without blaming your ex, giving excuses, or expecting an apology (or even forgiveness) in return. It may very well be that your ex contributed to the situation, but you cannot apologize for someone else; you can only apologize for yourself. Leave him or her out of it and odds are the apology will be reciprocated.  Avoid using the word "but." "I am sorry, but..." means "I am not sorry." Also, do not say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry if you were offended." This makes it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology.  A true apology should be structured as follows: regret, responsibility, and remedy. The first step indicates that you are sorry for what you've done. The second step puts the responsibility on you without making excuses or blaming someone else. The final step offers to make it right or change your behavior in the future. For example: "I just wanted to apologize for when I blew you off all those times that you wanted to spend with me. You must've really felt neglected. I'm going to try really hard from now on, to make it a point to do more things with you so you won't feel like that again. I'm glad you gave me your point of view to realize that."
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