When you encounter stress, anger, or anxiety, it can trigger your body’s “fight or flight” mode. Your sympathetic nervous system perceives that you’re under attack and kicks your body into high gear, boosting your heart rate, constricting blood vessels, restricting your breathing, and tensing your muscles. When you feel these symptoms, stop what you’re doing (if you can safely) and re-focus your senses on what your body is experiencing. This can help reduce what scientists call “automatic reactivity.”  Your brain develops “automatic reactivity” patterns to stimuli such as stressors. These are basically habits that your brain triggers. Whenever it encounters a particular stimulus, such as a fight with a person, it activates a particular set of pathways. Studies show that breaking this “habit” of reaction by re-focusing your senses on what’s actually going on can help your brain develop new, healthier habitual reactions.  Do a quick body scan, but don’t judge anything you’re feeling as “good” or “bad.” Try to stick to the facts. For example, if you’re angry, your heartbeat is probably pumping and you may even feel queasy. Simply acknowledge these sensory experiences. For example: “Right now I feel nauseated. My breathing is very quick. My face feels hot and flushed.” By identifying these physical experiences, you can separate them from the emotional reaction. When you’re stressed or anxious, your breathing becomes quick and shallow. Breathing deeply from your diaphragm helps combat this stress response by signaling your brain to release calming neurotransmitters and restoring oxygen to your body. A few deep breaths can help you feel calmer almost immediately.  Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen, beneath your ribcage. As you inhale, you should feel the hand on your belly rise. If you don’t, you’re only breathing from your chest.  Inhale slowly through your nose. Aim to inhale for a count of 5. Focus on your lungs and abdomen expanding and filling with air.  Hold this breath for a few seconds. Ideally, you would hold it for a count of 5, but if you can’t do that immediately, hold it for at least 1-2 seconds. Slowly release your breath through your mouth for a count of 5. Try to release your breath in an even fashion, rather than letting it all whoosh out at once. Take two normal breaths, then repeat the breath cycle. Progressive Muscle Relaxation, or PMR, can help you consciously release the tension in your body that can build up when you’re stressed or angry. With PMR you tense and then release your muscles in groups from your head to your toes, signaling your body to relax. It takes a little practice, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a fast way to calm down.  If you can, find a quiet place free of distractions. You can even do PMR at your desk if you need to, though. Loosen tight clothing. Take a few deep breaths. Start with the muscles in your forehead. Raise your eyebrows as high as they’ll go and hold this position for 5 seconds. Release the tension. Then, furrow your brow as hard as you can for 5 seconds. Release the tension. After you release the first muscle group, notice the difference in that area for 15 seconds before moving on. You want to learn how to tell what “relaxed” and “tense” feel like so that you can consciously release tension when you need to. Move to your lips. Purse them tightly for 5 seconds, then release the tension. Then, smile as widely as you can for 5 seconds, then release the tension. Enjoy the sensation for 15 seconds. Continue this pattern of holding tension for 5 seconds, releasing, and relaxing for 15 seconds with the remaining muscle groups: neck, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, buttocks, thighs, lower legs, feet, and toes. You can find free guided PMR routines online, too. MIT has a free MP3 PMR routine. Sometimes, you need to break the cycle of focusing on whatever has upset you. Ruminating, that “broken record” loop where you think the same upset thoughts over and over again, can worsen or even cause anxiety and depression. Distraction isn’t a good long-term solution, but it’s very helpful to reduce stress in the moment and help you focus on something positive.  Chat with a friend. Studies show that socializing with people you love can help reduce your feelings of stress. Spend some time with a friend or loved one.  Check out something silly. “Silly” humor, like funny cat videos or a humorous movie, can help you calm down and get a little distance from whatever has upset you. However, you should try to avoid mean-spirited or sarcastic humor, as it could actually make you more upset, not less.  Play a game. Games are great for letting us give our brains a break. Play with your pet. Studies show that interacting with a loved cat or dog can lower stress hormones and help you feel calm and happy.  There are plenty of other ways to distract yourself. Pick up a good book, go for a long walk, grab your camera and take some beautiful pictures.  Don’t try to distract yourself with alcohol, drugs, or even food. Trying to self-medicate by getting drunk or binge-eating will cause further problems, and it won’t help you address the root of what has you upset. When you’re feeling upset, a little moderate exercise could help you feel better fast. Exercise releases endorphins in your body, which are natural mood boosters. Several studies have shown that exercise reduces feelings of anger and increases your feelings of calmness and well-being. The next time you’re upset, go for a quick run or bust into your favorite dance moves. You’ll feel better.  Aim for about 30 minutes of moderate activity every day. You don’t even have to hit the gym: walking, jogging, even gardening have excellent effects on your mood and your fitness. Exercise also has a preventive effect. One study suggests that aerobic exercise before an upsetting experience can help you stay calmer during that experience.  Exercises such as yoga and tai chi, which incorporate meditation, deep breathing, and physical movement, can also have excellent calming effects. ry aromatherapy solutions. Aromatherapy may help calm you down. Try adding a few drops of essential oil to a hot bath or shower bomb.  Try sandalwood, lavender, or German chamomile for stress. Do not ingest essential oils. Many of them are toxic if you consume them. You can have a massage or a foot rub that uses these oils. Always use a carrier oil, such as jojoba, avocado, or sunflower oil, because essential oils are so concentrated they can irritate the skin if applied on their own. Music has a very relaxing effect on how we think. If you're having a hard time calming down, try some calming music. Avoid music with harsh sounds or fast tempos, even if it's music you really like, because this music can actually add to your stress! Just listen to calm music when you're trying to calm down. The British Academy of Sound Therapy has put together a playlist of the world’s most relaxing music according to science. Artists include Marconi Union, Enya, and Coldplay. Sometimes, someone wants to talk to you about a topic that you just don’t agree on. If you can have a productive discussion, that’s great! But if the conversation feels like it’s devolved into opposing monologues, change the conversation to something less upsetting.  Stay away from potentially incendiary topics such as religion and politics, particularly with people you don’t know well. It can feel awkward to interrupt an upsetting conversation, but the relief is worth it. Try something polite, like “You know, I think we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this subject. How about we talk about last night’s episode of Game of Thrones instead?” If the other person won’t give up, excuse yourself from the conversation. Use an “I”-statement to avoid sounding like you’re blaming the other person: “You know, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I’m going to take a little break from this conversation.”
توقف وأعِد تركيز حواسك. تنفس من الحجاب الحاجز. جرب ارخاء العضلات التدريجي. شتت نفسك. مارس الرياضة. جرب حلول طب الروائح. استمع لموسيقى. غير المحادثة.