When unpleasant thoughts and feelings come to you, name them. When you notice that you are distressed, ask "why am I feeling bad all of a sudden?" Then look for triggers, such as being bombarded by ads, being blown off by friends, or being hungry or tired. Finally, name the feeling. Recognize visits from the "I'm ugly!" feeling, or the "I should lose weight" feeling, or the "only beautiful people can ever be happy" feeling.  You don't have to fight these feelings. Just name them and let them go. If they won't leave, tell them to go. "Only-beautiful-people-can-ever-be-happy feeling, leave. I'm tired, and you always show up when I'm tired. However, I'm about to rest and I need you to not bother me with your nonsense." Love yourself before you try to change anything. Accept your looks and accept your feelings. If you try to change or "fix" yourself without first thinking about your human value, you may not make good progress.  Ask yourself "do I deserve happiness? Do I matter, just as I am?" If you can say yes to these things, you are on the right track. When other people insult you or try to fix you, shut them down or ignore them. When someone insults you, that means something is going on with them. Nobody who is happy, healthy, or secure bothers to insult other people. Instead of insulting back or getting upset, shut the interaction down succinctly. Say something like "grow up," or "deal with yourself."  Don't insult yourself by taking the insult seriously, but do let yourself feel as upset as you want. Just remind yourself that you are upset because someone was unkind, and was trying to trigger your insecurities. Name how you feel. Get rid of "friends" who try to make you feel bad about yourself. Keep friends who are supportive and kind. Try not to be offended if someone offers you beauty advice. Instead, you might consider making friends with someone who seems to know a lot about hair styling, makeup, and other beauty topics. You might enjoy learning about these things and possibly even gain more confidence as a result of your new beauty knowledge. When you hear yourself getting down on yourself, stop. Treat yourself the way you would treat a beloved friend. Would you call your friend "ugly" or criticize her? Would you think about her looks all the time?  Write a letter to yourself describing yourself like a good friend would. Pause when you notice yourself writing something that feels insincere or forced. Try to put down exactly how you would be viewed by someone who loves you. Remember that the word "ugly" is rarely used, except by unhappy teenagers and unusually insecure adults. If you refer to yourself as ugly, you will probably surprise and upset those around you. Ask yourself, would I describe any of my friends as ugly? Unless you are feeling terrible about yourself, you are unlikely to think anyone else is ugly. If you are seriously down on yourself, if you cannot come to terms with the feelings you are having, get professional help. See a doctor or a mental health professional if you are having thoughts of self-harm. If you are depressed, if you are avoiding activities you love, if you are too anxious to socialize or do your work, get help. See a doctor if your body image does not conform to what others tell you, or if you think about your looks for more than a few minutes a day.
قم بتسمية مشاعرك. تجاهل الكارهين. استخدم لغة محببة لوصف نفسك. اطلب المساعدة من الآخرين.