So, you've snagged the girl, she's dumped her old boyfriend, and now you've finally gotten what you want. Does this mean you should go shopping for engagement rings or take a weekend trip to the Bahamas? Absolutely not! Even if the girl got out of a bad relationship, it's likely that she's still going over the break up, so give her some time and space. If you try to hang out with her every second of every day, she's likely to feel overwhelmed and to back away. Instead, give her space and hang out with her once or twice a week, or however many times she's ready for.  This is something people don't get: break-ups are always painful, even if you're the person who did the breaking up. You may think that she feels totally free and happy because she got rid of the dead weight in her life, but she'll still be dealing with pain, and the inevitable grief that comes from saying goodbye to something, even if it wasn't all that great, and you have to be understanding of that. Though she shouldn't be the one to call or text you every time, make sure to give her some of the power. If you're the one who initiates contact every time, she may think that she's not ready for another boyfriend or for anything serious. Whether she got out of a three month relationship with a real jerk or a five-year relationship with a nice but boring guy, you should never bring up the guy, especially if you want to make fun of him, call him a loser, remind her that he wasn't good enough for her, etc. Though your intentions may be pure and you may just want to make her feel better about ending something that wasn't working, she may take this as an assault on her former relationship, and may be offended, because it's likely that she still has tender feelings for her ex.  Give it time. If she was in a five year relationship, then yeah, she may not be ready to talk about that part of her life for a long time. Maybe even a year will pass before she brings up her ex at all, because it will hurt too much to do it before hand. Be patient. If you keep asking questions about her ex, you'll come off as jealous and she'll get annoyed. Yeah, there may be this whole part of her life that you don't have access to for a while because it has to do with her ex. Nobody said snagging a girl with a boyfriend was easy, or that it didn't have consequences. But if you wait out this painful period, it'll be worth it. Okay, so you grabbed a girl with a boyfriend, and only now does it dawn on you -- if she was able to cheat (or just emotionally cheat) on her boyfriend with another guy, then what will keep her from being unfaithful to you with the next guy who comes along? Well, hopefully she got out of her last relationship because it was truly bad and because she saw something special in you, not because she was generally restless. If she has a pattern of this behavior, then that is something to worry about, but if not, unfortunately, the heart does wander sometimes if it's worth it.  Your job is to focus on your new relationship instead of worrying that she's seeing someone on the side; if you're constantly jealous and paranoid because of the way that you met, then your newfound love will never wok. If she just got out of something serious, the last thing she may want is to feel like she's smothered all over again and can't go more than ten minutes without checking in with you. So, the two of you are together, maybe even officially dating. Sure, you might have met in a somewhat sketchy way, but that doesn't mean you have to bring it up all the time. Focus on what's ahead of you instead of looking behind, and work on building a solid foundation for your love, not one that's based on lies, deceit, and uncertainty. Even if you had a rocky beginning, you may be able to form a strong bond, though yeah, it'll be tougher than if you were just two single people who met at bar. If you do want it to work, focus on the things you will do together, instead of any of the pain that is behind you.  This doesn't mean you can never talk about the period when you were getting together on the d/l. But it does mean that you should focus on all of the great things ahead of you, not on the pain that you might have felt in the beginning. Find new things that neither of you have done that you have always wanted to try, whether it's making your own sushi or going on a long hike. Find things you can claim as yours and that you can use to build a solid foundation for your love. Then just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!
تمهل. تجنب الحديث عن صديقها السابق. لا تهلع. افتح صفحة جديدة.