Sometimes, people may have unrealistic expectations of a relationship. If you're feeling disappointed with someone a lot, look at your own expectations. Can you see where your expectations may not be particularly realistic?  Oftentimes, we may have expectations that seeped in from past relationships. For example, say your last girlfriend moved to a city to be with you. She did not have a lot of friends there and, as a result, hung out with you a lot. Your new girlfriend has been living in this city for a while. She may go out more and be less reliant on you for entertainment and socialization. If your expectation is that social events should always be done together, this may be a leftover expectation from your old relationship. It's not really reasonable, considering your new girlfriend's situation.  You may also have expectations that are unrealistic in other ways. For example, your girlfriend may give you a "maybe" if you ask her if she wants to hang out later. For you, a "maybe" might come off as a "probably" or "definitely." You may find yourself consistently disappointed when your girlfriend lets you know she can't make it that night. Maybe your expectations are unrealistic. Many people, especially people with busy schedules, may simply be unable to commit some days. You can start seeing a maybe as a maybe, and expect that you may have to find something else to do that night. If your expectations do seem unreasonable, work on reframing them. Sometimes, future disappointment is less likely if you learn to accept certain things about another person.  Let's return to our above example. Your new girlfriend is clearly more independent. She has her own life, her own career, and her own social circle. She may not be the type of person who needs a significant other to feel complete. In this case, try to reframe what you expect of a romantic relationship. In this relationship, you may not spend all your free time together. Your girlfriend may go out with just her friends a few times a week. Try to accept this is just your girlfriend's personality and it's not a bad thing. Next time she's going out for drinks with coworkers, you may be less disappointed that she can't come over and watch a movie after work. Once you've reframed expectations, try again but on a different track. In any relationship, you have to be willing to compromise. If a friend, family member, or romantic partner has a different way of doing things, it's important that you allow that person that freedom. Proceed with the relationships, but with your expectations slightly altered. Try to be more accepting of the other person's perspective and more direct in how you communicate your own wants and needs. When reeling after disappointment, it can be easy to get stuck going over one incident. However, keep the big picture in mind. Is this relationship important to you? Does this person bring more good into your life than bad? If so, the occasional disappointment is not worth getting upset over. Everyone disappoints another person on occasion, and it is usually unintentional. Try to let go and move forward. Oftentimes, a sense of disappointment in a relationship comes from the fact relationships change. It's possible you're holding on to past expectations that are no longer feasible. Try to allow a relationship to evolve and acknowledge that changes do not necessarily indicate something is wrong with a relationship.  For example, look at a typical romantic relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, you and your partner may have sex more often, spend more time together, and talk constantly. As the relationship progresses, things may calm down some. You may have moments of silence, for example, and sex may be less frequent than how it was before. It's natural for the excitement of a new romance to fade with time. The intensity of the first few months of dating usually calms down. This is not necessarily a bad thing. While you may miss the thrill of a new romance, there are benefits to falling into a routine. The two of you are more comfortable together. You're both able to be yourself. Try to look at your changing relationship as an indicate of stability rather than stagnancy.
تحقق من توقعاتك. قم بإعادة تشكيل توقعاتك حسب الحاجة. حاول مجددًا. انظر إلى الصورة الكبيرة. تقبّل أن العلاقات تتغير.