You need to think carefully to determine why you feel the need to start a new life. There are many valid reasons why you might do so, but there are also reasons that aren’t so helpful.  For example, if you’re a new empty-nester facing life without kids in your house for the first time in decades, you might appropriately think it’s time to start a new stage of your life: You aren’t a primary caretaker for your children anymore and can reframe your life to focus more on you. On the other hand, using a life change to escape unpleasant feelings isn’t a good idea, since this avoidance doesn’t address the real issues you may be having. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. You have to deal with them before you can start a truly fresh life. Major life events, such as getting married,a death in the family, a loss of a relationship or job, graduating high school or college, or a change in your financial or health status, moving to a new place, or becoming pregnant, can have a profound effect on your emotions. Some of these may make you happier, while others can trigger stress, depression and/or anxiety. If you have just experienced a major life event, keep in mind that your judgment may not be functioning at its best, and consider waiting to make any major decisions intended to turn your life around. If you have just experienced a major loss, allow yourself time to grieve it. Mourning is a necessary process of examining and processing your feelings of grief and adjusting to life after your loss. You don’t have to feel rushed into changes or pressured to “get over it” right away. To make sure that starting your new life is as effective as you hope, think about your past patterns. You want to make sure that you’re making this change from the right motivations, not as a way to run from your past. Running away from problems doesn’t ultimately fix them.  For example, do you have a habit of trying to “move past” or escape adversity as soon as it comes up? Research suggests that the necessary process of growth comes from working through both positive and negative emotions and situations. How do you react when the going gets tough? Do you stick to your goals, or do you run away? Your personal values are your roadmap for living. They’re the very core of what you believe: about yourself, about others, about life in general. It’s important to examine what your values are before making a major decision such as starting a new life. Once you know what is most important to you, you can ensure that you make the right decisions to prioritize those values. Accepting who you are is the first step to making big changes.  Ask yourself some questions. For example, consider two people whom you admire. What do you most respect about them? Why? How could this play into your own life? Another good question to ask is what issues make you feel most invested or inspired when you hear them talked about. For example, do you feel passionate about hearing about new inventions and wish you could be a part of that innovation process? Does it make you feel fired up hearing about community service projects? Examining this could help you figure out what you value most, such as innovation, ambition, social justice, or service. Remember that there are no “inferior” or “superior” personal values. One person might value adaptability, while someone else might value stability more highly. Neither is “wrong.” It’s all about embracing who you are and living a life that is in line with that. You can find lists of core values online, if you need some help coming up with words to define them.  Studies suggest that in general, people tend to place a very high value on their social relationships and their feeling of value and respect at their work. If one of these areas is lacking, you might consider focusing your “new life” efforts on that area. For some people, starting a “new life” might mean starting everything over: relocating, building new social networks, getting a new job, etc. For others, it might mean smaller but substantive changes, such as ditching old habits or perspectives and focusing on developing new, value-congruent ways of living. Whatever your desire, make sure you are clear about how the big the changes are that you want to make. Figuring out what about your life needs to change can be very helpful here. For example, what is making you unhappy or dissatisfied? Do you need to change every single thing about your life, or would it be more effective to focus in on one or two areas? Making change is hard, so you might find better success if you start small and work your way up. This exercise can help you figure out what goals to set and what changes you will need to make. Research suggests that doing it can make you feel happier and more motivated. Take a moment to imagine yourself at some point in the future. In this future, you have been granted the magical power to achieve all of your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who and what you want to be.  Imagine this in as much detail as possible. Who do you surround yourself with? Where do you live? What do you do? What does it feel like? Incorporate as much detail as you can to create a clear image. For example, you could imagine that you are a successful independent musician with your own band who travels around the country giving shows at small venues. Now, think about the strengths and skills you need to get you there. What do you already have? What areas need further development? Be honest with yourself here. For example, if you want to be a musician, you might already have musical skills, or at least a love of music. You would also need some business savvy, which you might need to work on improving. Keep your imagining attainable and positive.  Obviously, you can’t become a superhero like Superman -- that isn’t possible or realistic. However, you could imagine what you could do that would be like that. For example, is it Superman’s commitment to justice that you admire? You could imagine yourself fulfilling that mission in some way, such as becoming a police officer or attorney. Is it his kickass physique? You could imagine yourself becoming fit, or even becoming a personal trainer to help others with fitness goals. As Lao Tzu once said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Your journey must begin with what steps you will take along your road to your new life. Setting clear personal goals will help guide you as you embark on starting your new life.  Consider where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, and 20+ years.  Set your goals. Make sure they’re SMART goals, that is, they’re specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. Start by defining your big goal, and then break it up into smaller objectives. Break those down even further into tasks. For example, if you’ve decided you want to start a new career as a police officer to honor your values of service and justice, that’s your overall goal. To accomplish it, you will need to achieve several objectives, or actions you take. Examples of objectives could be working on your physical fitness so you can pass the physical test, talking with a police recruiter, and applying to a police academy. Break those down even further in specific tasks, such as exercising 3x a week, looking online for your recruiter’s information, and finding out the steps to apply to academies. Make sure that you are as concrete and specific as possible when setting your goals. This article can help you.
حدد الدافع الخاص بك. ضع في اعتبارك إذا كنت اختبرت أي أحداث كبيرة في حياتك. افحص ماضيك. اختبر قيمك. قرر حجم التغيير الذي تريده. جرب تمرين "أفضل نفس ممكنة". ضع أهدافًا.