Below are some warning signs that may let you know that you are in an abusive relationship. If there is a person who is isolating you, controlling you, or showing signs of extreme jealousy, you should seek help.  If the person refuses to let you go out places because he is worried that you will meet someone else. If the person puts down your friends or family often because he wants your full devotion. If the person checks in with you often to monitor what you are doing. If the person often questions you about your activities. If the person is checking your cell phone, web history, email exchanges etc.. If you are unsure whether you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. This hotline is free and confidential and can help you determine whether you are suffering from abuse. Ask your partner when and where would be a good time to have a conversation. If you can, try to suggest a calm, quiet place where you can talk freely without distractions. Sit somewhere comfortable where you can face each other. Make sure that distractions such as the television, cell phones, laptops, tablets, etc. are all on silent and put away. Again, talk about your feelings using “I statements.” Communicate the behavior that is bothering you, and how you feel. While you should use I statements to discuss specific instances of jealousy, you also may want to talk about when you remember noticing these patterns and what you think those patterns mean for your relationship. For example, you can say “Because I had a boyfriend who was jealous before, I felt stressed and alarmed when I read your text asking who I was with.” When you are describing why you feel a certain way, talk about why you are feeling a certain way in terms of your memories, expectations, understandings, hopes, and interpretations of the situation. Use sentence stems like “I imagined...” “I understand that...” or “I wanted to...” to help you communicate clearly to your partner what is going on with you. For example, "I wanted you to let me know before you came over, because it makes me feel like you do not trust me when you show up unannounced." Avoid blaming your partner for your feelings. For example, don’t say, “Because you are jealous I feel trapped." This means both people take an active role in trying to build trust in the relationship. Take a specific problem in your relationship and break it down. Each partner should explain how he or she wishes the other person would respond. Afterwards, you can create tasks that each partner can do to help the situation and ways to stay positive. For example, an active solution would be to say, “I’ll make a couple seconds of eye contact with you when I am talking to another girl to let you know that I love you.” Avoid making big, unrealistic requests. For example, saying, “I wish you wouldn’t talk to other girls” is not a healthy way to solve the situation. Solutions should be practical and actionable. When you are talking about jealousy or the problems in your relationship, try a few simple techniques to help build respect and compassion in your communication.  Speak in short sentences and be compassionate to the other person’s feelings. Finally, acknowledge what she is saying and respond in a way that shows that you understand what she said. You can show compassion by saying, “I really appreciate that you are being honest and sharing your feelings with me. I know that this is difficult to talk about.” You can demonstrate understanding by repeating back what the other person has said. For example, if she says she feels afraid and jealous when you speak to an ex-partner, you can respond with “I hear you say that you don't feel comfortable that I am friends with my ex-girlfriend, and I wonder what I can do to make you feel more secure.”
فرّق بين غيرة العلاقات والإساءة في العلاقات. اطلبي من زوجك التحدث عن الأمر. كوني منفتحة في التحدث مع شريكك عن مشاعرك. ركّزي على شرح جانبك بشكل واضح. جربي حل المشاكل سويًا مع الطرف الآخر. اعملوا على مهارات التواصل الخاصة بكما كشريكان.