Have a nice, friendly smile on your face. Be calm and polite. Introduce yourself and ask for his name. Refrain from talking in an overly excited tone which can overwhelm a shy person. Talk softly and in a moderate tone. Don't ask them all of a sudden either---it could startle them.  Be sure your approach is friendly and inviting, but not overly excited to the point where it seems insincere. You might say something like "Hey, I noticed you standing here on your own. I'm Jeff, what's your name?" Approaching the person on your own as opposed to with a group increases the likelihood that he will engage with you. Shy people typically feel overwhelmed and intimidated by large groups. Shy people tend to feel self-conscious or awkward in social situations. This feeling is intensified when they are subjected to intense stares. Staring at the other person nonstop can feel threatening. So, aim to avert your gaze occasionally to help your new friend feel more comfortable.  Science has shown that direct eye contact increases self-awareness, which is an uncomfortable state for extremely shy people.  To increase his comfort level with you, aim to make eye contact between 30-60% of the time during a conversation. Generally, you should make eye contact slightly more when listening than when talking.  To further help your new friend adjust to you, stand beside him rather than face-on. This positioning can often feel less threatening. Just be sure to turn to face him slightly with your body to show interest and engagement. To draw out a shy person, you might start by asking a few questions. Open-ended questions, that is, those that require more than a "yes" or "no" answer are best. These types of questions allow the person responding to answer in his own words rather than offering limited response options. They also give your potential friend the chance to talk as little or as much as he would like.  For example, if you are at a social gathering, and you want to strike up a conversation with a shy person who is hiding out in corner or leaning against a wall, you can ask "So, how do you know the host?" Other open-ended questions might include: "What brings you here today?", "What kind of things do you do for fun?" or "What was your impression of the film?" Conversation involves a natural ebb and flow of speaking, listening, and silence. When you're outgoing, you may assume silence is a red flag that your attempt to socialize is failing. It's not. A few seconds of silence is typically okay, especially with a shy person. These individuals may require longer periods to process what was said and respond accordingly. After the silence settles in, simply choose to start a new thread in the conversation or take the opportunity to end the exchange.  If you want to continue talk, you might try to find a connection from something that was said earlier like "So, you said your brother works on cars?" If you want to save both of you from an awkward silence, you might say "Well, nice meeting you, Becky. We'll have to catch up again sometime." Even if an awkward silence doesn't threaten the conversation, it is still a good idea to keep the exchange short and sweet. Once the two of you have briefly interacted find a natural lull in the conversation to make your exit. Shy people take some time to warm up to new people and new situations. Respect that need by limiting the first exchanges, then gradually the duration of interactions as the person becomes more comfortable with you.
اذهب إليه بمفردك، ليس بصحبة مجموعة. احرص على أقل قدر ممكن من النظر المباشر في عينيه في بداية الأمر. اسأله أسئلةً مفتوحةً. تعلّم أن تتفهّم الصمت. اجعل أول لقاء مختصرًا.