Though you can't be selfless all the time, being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your friend's wishes whenever you can, provided this is done in a balanced way. Reciprocate his or her acts of kindness with caring deeds of your own, and your friendship will be strengthened. If you get a reputation for being selfish and only being around your friends when you need some help, then people will know you're not looking out for them.  Do a favor for your friend just out of the goodness of your heart, not because you want something in return. There's a difference between being selfless at the right time and letting people walk all over you. If you feel like you're always helping your friends and get nothing back, then you may have a problem. Don't abuse generosity or wear out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, reciprocate quickly. Return any money you borrow promptly. Go home when it seems like the time is right. Don't monopolize conversations, but rather take the time to truly understand and support your friend when they are talking to you. It sounds simple, but make sure you're listening as much as you're talking about yourself. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting anything out of the relationship. Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that you care.  If you're just waiting for your friend to finish talking so you can say what you want to say, it'll be obvious right away. Try to strike a balance of letting your friend talk about half of the time. Though some people are shyer than others, if your friend feels like they can't get a word in when they're around you, it'll be hard to have a healthy, two-sided friendship. If you accidentally interrupt, say something like, "Oh-I'm sorry, go on." To be truly supportive, you'll have to be able to watch out for your friends when they're having a tough time. If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous, or getting too drunk at a party, help him or her get away from the situation by not being afraid to speak up about it.  Don't assume that your friend can handle it alone; this may be the very time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue. If you see a problem, speak up, no matter how awkward you may feel. Let your friend know that you can give him a shoulder to cry on during this tough time. If your friend feels less alone, it'll be easier for them to deal with their troubles. If all your friend wants to do about the problem is to talk, that's fine at first, but you should help your friend find practical solutions to his problems. For example, if your friend admitted to having an eating disorder and simply promises to start eating more, you might talk to them about taking more serious measures to address the problem, like talking to a health professional. However, keep in mind that you need to have boundaries as well. You cannot fix all of your friend’s problems for them. If your friend has to go to the hospital, visit. If their dog runs away, help to find it. If they need someone to pick them up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school when they're absent. Send cards and care packages when you're living far apart. If there is a death in their family, attend the funeral. Let your friend see that they can count on you any time.  Just make sure that your friend isn't always in the middle of some kind of crisis, however contrived it may be. You should be there to help out during the hard times, but that can't be the basis of your whole relationship. Part of being there for your friend in a crisis is providing emotional support, too. Care about your friend enough to help them open up and let the tears roll. Hand them a tissue and listen openly. You don't have to say anything if nothing seems right; just stay calm and reassuring. If your friend is going through a crisis, don't say, "Everything is going to be all right" if it's not going to be. It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none. Instead, let your friend know you are there for them. Stay honest, but upbeat and positive. If your friend begins talking about committing suicide or hurting other people, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a helpline or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse (unless they are the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else. . To be a good friend, you should be able to weigh your friend's situation from his or her perspective and to provide your opinion without insisting that your friend should do whatever you say. Don't judge your friend; simply advise them when they reach out.  Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before assuming you can give advice. In some cases, a friend could use a little bit of tough love to keep them out of a dangerous situation. Use discretion here; you don't want to lecture or overwhelm your friend. Tell them how you perceive the situation using factual information, and suggest what you might do in the same circumstances. Part of being supportive means supporting the fact that your friend won't always want to spend time with you. Learn to step back and give your friend space. Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people. There's no need to become clingy or needy. If you're clingy and check in with your friend every two seconds if they aren't around, you'll start to look like a possessive significant other, and that will not be appreciated.  Don't get jealous if your friend has lots of other friends. Every relationship is special and different, and that doesn't mean that your friend doesn't appreciate you. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.
كن مؤثرًا. كن منصتًا جيدًا. ساعد صديقك في التعامل مع صراعاته. قف بجانبه في أوقات الأزمات. قدم له نصائح مدروسة. امنح صديقك بعض المساحة عندما يحتاجها.