You've probably been preached it a billion times already: In order to get people to like you, you gotta like yourself first. Easier said than done, huh? But you know it's true -- think about someone you know that has really low self-worth. They're probably a little negative, overly sensitive, and not a ton of fun to be around. If only they were comfortable with themselves, their entire world would treat them differently. Write down a list of good things about yourself. Do something that makes you feel happy and confident. Don't be afraid to try something new and scary. Don't even think about skipping this step -- it's crucial. You don't have to be outgoing and hilarious, you just have to have a healthy level of self-esteem. . Once you're comfortable with yourself, stick to it. Putting on false pretenses and self-presenting and trying to maintain an image, apart from being downright exhausting, is just a huge turnoff. Who you are is good, flaws and all. Instead of being a second-rate version of something else, be a first-rate you, you know? What's the point in doing anything else? Believe it or not, research has shown that embarrassing yourself in front of other people can actually get them to like and trust you! After a second thinking about it, it makes sense: you show everyone you're real, just like them. What a relief! You're no longer perfect. Phew. Close one. The more genuine you are, the better. Let's get down to brass tacks here: Imagine you're in bed with someone, doing the deed. That person is going through the motions, but you can't really tell how they're feeling one way or another. Would you be anxious to jump into bed with them again? Probably not. The same goes for life! Everyone wants to be around that one person that likes up the room with their excitement. There's no reason that can't be you. Once you realize the little things in life can be thrilling, the enthusiasm will flow. After all, life is short. Not every cup of coffee has to be the best cup of coffee you've ever had (in fact, it could be the worst), but you can still be enthusiastic about it. Woo, coffee! Finally! Morning jitters! It feels so good. This is mainly about other people, but really you should be curious about the entire world. When something is presented to you, actually think about it. Don't just accept it. If there's something you don't understand, seek to learn more about it. This should go for concepts, sure, but it should go double for people. So the next time you meet someone who's 24 and they're telling you about the time they spent making chainmail and sous-chef-ing at one of your favorite French bistros, allow your jaw to drop in subtle incredulity and ask for an explanation. Pry a little. You're interested! In case you've been living on a deserted island, turns out humans prefer contact with those who don't smell. Science is still out on why. So do yourself a favor and shower, brush your teeth, and dress with the lights on. People won't give you the time of day if you don't. It's best to put a little effort in (read: more than just a shower). Humans go off of looks probably more than they should. If you've read Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink," you're familiar with the Woodrow Wilson effect (and how he got elected based on his authoritative good looks and good timing (photojournalism being new and all) and even if you're not, you probably know enough about JFK to see the link. Whether we like it or not, being pretty has its definite benefits. No two ways around it. Humans interact on three different levels: verbal, non-verbal, and paraverbal. You're probably okay with the first two, huh? But paraverbal is how you say your words. You know, the tone, the pitch, the pacing. That stuff matters just as much! Start by observing someone who's really well-liked on these three levels. How do they stand in relation to others? When they're on their own, do they seem easily approachable? Now how do they talk? What do they say and how do they say it? When you start noticing patterns, start observing yourself. What patterns could serve you to emulate? While this is true for every environment, it goes double in the workplace. Men and women get away with very different things when it comes to being liked. A man can be assertive and even angry and it's a display of his passion; a woman shows the same emotions and she's deemed out of control by some. Take any advice you get with a grain of salt and as for any observations you make, it may be wisest to account for gender. Though it doesn't go for everyone, it's usually safe to say that women are more liked when they're a bit softer. Two words: Hillary Clinton. The butt of more jokes than possibly anyone ever. And why? Because she acts like a man in a man's world when she's not one. She's also awesome and a great role model, so if you're a woman, aim for something between her and June Cleaver.
كن متسقًا مع نفسك. كن أصيلًا غير مزيف. كن متحمسًا. كن فضوليًا. حافظ على النظافة الشخصية. تعلم كيف تترك الأثر ولماذا. اعلم أنه هناك فرق بين الرجال والنساء.