Once you have had a constructive conversation about the topic, it is time to start working towards finding a solution. Don't expect that you will be able to resolve the situation overnight. This is a sensitive subject that might take a while to figure out.  Allow yourselves time to reflect. Remember that your first conversation on the subject does not have to result in resolution. After talking to your husband, take a few days to think about how you feel. Were you able to effectively communicate? Do you feel at all better about the situation? Start thinking about possible solutions. Write down any ideas that you have. Writing things down can help you to gain mental clarity. Once you have addressed the topic for the first time, make sure that you keep the discussion going. You don't have to talk about it every day, but let your husband know that you still have things to talk about. Tell him that you would like to work together to find a solution.  It is possible that your discussion of porn led to an argument. That's normal. Many couples fight about what are called "hot button" issues. Take some time to cool down. Say to your husband, "This conversation isn't productive right now. Let's walk away and take a little time to breathe." Make it clear that the discussion is not over. You can say, "This topic is important to me, so let's revisit it tomorrow after we've both had time to gather our thoughts." It might be very important to you that your husband immediately stops looking at porn. However, that might prove difficult for him to promise. Ask yourself whether you are willing to compromise.  Compromises can often be very useful in resolving marital issues. They can make each party feel like the other is helping to contribute to a solution. Figure out if you could handle a phased reduction of the porn viewing. For example, maybe you could say, "Are you willing to start by reducing the amount of porn you look at?" If you are willing to compromise, your husband will likely be willing to work with you. Eventually, you will likely be able to reach your goal of no porn. Many men say that they like to look at porn because it excites them. That does not mean that you are not attractive or that he does not enjoy having sex with you. It just means that sometimes he is looking for something different.  Try making some changes to your sex life. Maybe you have been stuck in a rut lately. Make an effort to have sex at unusual times and in different places. For example, you could approach your husband in his morning shower. Talk to one another about your sexual desires. You can explain what you want and listen to what would make your husband happy. Intimacy is an important component of a healthy marriage. There are different types of intimacy. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are two examples.  Become emotionally intimate with your husband. This means being able to tell each other anything. Make it clear that no topic is off the table. Try saying, "I understand that sometimes you have an urge to look at porn. I want you to know that you can talk to me about how you are feeling." Connect on a physical level. Physical intimacy is not just about intercourse. Be physically intimate by taking time to kiss and hug each day. Touch each other affectionately and do small things like hold hands.
امنحي كليكما مهلة للتفكير. حافظي على استمرارية المحادثة. فكري بشأن الحلول الوسط. أعيدي تنشيط حياتكما الجنسية. ضعي الحميمية على قائمة أولوياتك، فالحميمية هي أساس العلاقة الزوجية الصحية.