If the people you seek closure from are alive, then you may also choose to tell them how you have been impacted by the painful events. This is not always helpful, but it may help you to move on. If you think that it would be helpful to get answers to your questions, or to accuse someone face to face, then confrontation may be a good option.  For example, if you want to confront a childhood bully to gain closure on the pain that he or she caused you, then you may consider confronting him or her. Bring someone with you. You may speak to the person or people alone, but go with a loved one. You may feel weak or panicky afterward, and it will be a great help to have someone you trust nearby. If a confrontation is interesting to you, but a face-to-face encounter is unappealing or impossible, write a letter or make a call. If the person you need to confront is deceased, write a letter anyway. Talk to their surviving acquaintances if you have questions. Don't expect those you confront to automatically acknowledge what you experienced. They may resist taking blame, or contradict your claims. Go only if you are sure you will be satisfied just by saying what you have to say, no matter what the reaction. Forgiveness means you are choosing to move on from feelings of anger and resentment. Forgiveness does not mean you are saying that what happened was right. Choose to forgive in order to achieve personal peace. You can forgive others, and you can also forgive yourself for small choices you made that brought you pain. For example, you might forgive a bully who used to pick on you or you might forgive yourself for not standing up for your little brother when your father would hit him. If you were in the wrong, apologize even if it is painful. You will have no ability to move forward from a situation you regret if you feel the added guilt of not having apologized. Apologize without expecting any sort of forgiveness from the person or people you have wronged: the apology must be freely given.  To apologize, state that you are sorry. Say you regret what happened, and explain what you did that was wrong. Follow this by expressing regret at how you made the other person feel, and ask for forgiveness. You can also say that you do not expect forgiveness. You can write an email or a letter, or you can speak to the person you wronged face to face. If they are not ready to talk, accept that boundary. You might say, "I'm really sorry that I blew up at you last week. I feel terrible about losing my cool, as you had every right to say what you said, and I should have taken it calmly. I'm sorry for making you feel bad, and for embarrassing you in public. Will you forgive me? I don't deserve it, but your friendship means the world to me and I would feel its loss acutely." If confronting or apologizing to the person is not an option, then another option is to write a letter that you do not intend to send. You can use this letter to get everything off of your chest and say whatever you need to say and then destroy the letter when you are finished.  For example, you might write a letter to your father to tell him that you are angry for the way he abused your little brother when you were kids. Remember that you do not need to send this letter. It is just a way for you to express your feelings. You can burn the letter or tear it into little pieces after you are done with it.
واجه الشخص. سامح من أذاك. اعتذر للأشخاص الذين آذيتهم. اكتب جوابًا لا تنوي إرساله.