This person may be nice once in awhile, and they might genuinely love you. They might even be a really good person in other areas of their life. However, this doesn’t mean that the relationship is healthy for you. If you get a negative feeling every time you think about a person, even if they’re usually nice to you, it may be because they’ve hurt you so deeply that you have a hard time moving on. In this case, you might want to take a little time away from them to focus on yourself. It doesn't matter why they did what they did, or whether they're sorry. If it's a pattern of an ongoing unhealthy relationship and you feel you'd be better off without that person in your life, you have to make the choice that's right for you.  For example, if someone is frequently unkind to you, don't rationalize their behavior by saying something like, "He must have had a bad day," or "She's been under a lot of stress lately." Similarly, don't blame abuse on yourself by saying things like, "If I hadn't accused him of lying, he wouldn't have hit me." On the other hand, if someone who is generally very nice to you snaps or says something short-tempered once in a while, it's fine to take their circumstances into consideration. Part of the reason that family relationships are so complicated is because of the number of people involved. When you’re deciding whether to cut a person out of your life, you have to take the rest of the family into account, since it may affect your relationships with them as well. However, sometimes this is unavoidable.  If you’re cutting ties with one parent, it might affect your relationship with the other parent. If you have trouble with a sibling, you might lose contact with your niece or nephew. Also, you might be uninvited from family holidays or other events where the other family member may be present. However, there will likely be some family members who choose to support you, so don’t let this be your only deciding factor. Never demand or expect other family members to cut off their relationship with a person just because you do. If you notice that whenever you talk to your family member, it’s all about them rather than being a give-and-take conversation, it’s likely a toxic relationship. This narcissistic behavior is unlikely to change and you’re probably better off keeping your contact with that person to a more superficial level.  In a situation like this, you may notice that the person uses you for emotional comfort during their troubles, but then becomes dismissive of you when you talk about the things in your life that are stressful. The same is true for someone who only talks to you when they need something from you, like money or advice. If there’s someone in your family who’s always at the center of conflict or who loves spilling other people’s secrets, it can be hard to have a healthy relationship with them. You don’t necessarily have to completely cut off your drama-loving kin, but you’re probably better off if you keep them at arm’s length.  A person who loves drama often alternates between acting like your best friend and then pushing you away if you criticize or contradict them.  If someone in your family spreads gossip about you, this is definitely someone to stay away from. The same is true if a person is frequently dishonest. Whether it’s an aunt who always criticizes your weight or your sister who always “jokes” about how she’s so much more successful than you, you have every right to avoid being around anyone who makes you feel bad. If you find that you get stressed out just thinking about being in the same room as a person, avoid situations where you know you’ll see them.  Sometimes, a temporary break in a relationship like this can help soothe your hurt feelings. However, if the person’s behavior persists, you might be better off cutting ties permanently, especially if you find yourself thinking about the things they said even when they’re not around. If a person denies that they said something hurtful, or they try to justify their behavior, then they’re unlikely to change in the future, and you should stay away from them. Any relationship can become abusive, whether it’s a parent, grandparent, sibling, or even a distant relative. In addition, abuse can come in a number of different forms, ranging from being constantly put down or yelled at to being hit, kicked, or sexually abused. If you feel like you’re being abused, you should get away from that person as soon as you possibly can.  Other signs of abuse include the silent treatment, controlling behavior, or constantly being blamed for things you didn’t do. If you’re a child and you’re being abused by a parent, you should find a trusted adult that you can confide in. This might be another family member, or it could be a counselor or teacher at your school. There are also helplines you can call, like 1-800-4-A-CHILD in the US or 0800 1111 in the UK.  You may also choose to end a relationship with someone whom you believe has abused your child, if you’re a parent.
انظر للصورة الكاملة فيما يخص علاقتك بفرد العائلة المُتسبب بإيذائك. لا تُبرر تصرفات الطرف المؤذي. ضع في الاعتبار أفراد العائلة الآخرين الذين سيتأثرون بقرارك. تراجع خطوة للوراء في علاقتك بقريبك هذا. ابتعد قليلًا عن أفراد العائلة المهتمين بمعرفة تفاصيل المشكلات والدراما المُحيطة بالمواقف. تجنب الأقارب الذين يشعرونك بالتعاسة أو الضغط العصبي على نحوٍ دائم. انسحب من أيّة علاقة مؤذية مع أقاربك.