Do you feel like you're crying too much? While this is subjective, on average women cry 5.3 times a month and men 1.3 times, but this crying varies from watery eyes to sobbing. These averages may not necessarily take into account times when crying is more frequent because of some sort of emotional life event, like a breakup, the death of a loved one, or other major life events. When crying fits start to feel out of your control and affect your personal or work life, then it may be considered a problem worth addressing. You're more likely to feel overwhelmed and find yourself in a cycle of sad or negative thoughts during these highly emotional periods. If something is going in on your life that causes your stress or anxiety, you may be more likely to cry frequently. For example, if you're mourning the death of a loved one or just mourning the end of a relationship, crying is normal and understandable. But, sometimes life itself can become overwhelming and you may find yourself crying without understanding why you started crying in the first place. In this case, excessive crying may be a sign of something more serious like depression or anxiety. If you find yourself frequently crying without understanding why you feel sad, worthless, irritable, start experiencing pain, trouble eating, have trouble sleeping or have suicidal thoughts, you may have depression. Seek medical attention to learn treatment options. Start being aware of the situations leading up to your crying fits and write them down. When do the fits happen? Are there certain days, situations, or scenarios that elicit intense crying? Are there things that trigger a crying fit? For example, if listening to a certain band reminds you of your ex, take the band off of your playlists and avoid listening to the provoking music. Same goes for pictures, smells, places, etc. If you don’t want to be exposed to these upsetting reminders, it is ok to avoid them for a while. Write down any negative thoughts and ask yourself if they're rational. Likewise, consider if your ideals are rational and realistic. Remember to be kind to yourself. A good way to do this is to list any accomplishments or things that make you happy. Think of your journal or diary as a record of what you're grateful for. Try to contribute to your journal or diary every day. When you feel like you're going to cry, read what you've already written and remind yourself what makes you happy. Ask yourself, “How do I cope with conflict?” Do you typically respond with anger? Tears? Ignoring it? Chances are, if you let conflict build up by ignoring it, you'll end up in a big crying fit. Becoming aware of how to respond to conflict may help you identify what path you need to take. Don't forget to ask yourself, "Who is in control?” Reclaim control over your life so you have the power to change outcomes. For example, rather than say, "That teacher is terrible and made me fail that test," admit that you didn't study enough and that led to your poor score. Next time, focus on studying and accepting the outcome. If you continuously think negative thoughts, you may be fostering harmful emotions. You might even revisit negative, sad memories that happened in the distant past, which also keeps the crying going. This can cause damaging behavior, including prolonged crying fits. Once you're aware of the effects your thoughts have, you can begin to change your thinking to create more positive situations. For example, if you keep thinking, "I'm not good enough," you may begin to feel hopeless or insecure. Learn to stop the thought process before it affects your emotional well-being. You can try reaching out to a close friend or family member to talk about what is bothering you. Call them or ask if they are available for a cup of coffee. If you feel you do not have someone you feel you can talk to, try a hotline like the Samaritans, (212-673-3000). If you find yourself crying frequently and feel you need some additional help, a professional counselor may be able help you. A counselor can develop a plan for you to regain control of your thoughts and cope with them appropriately. Ask your general practitioner, check the phone book, or ask friends to refer you to a counselor or therapist. Your counselor or therapist will ask about what brings you into therapy. You can say something like, “I find myself having crying fits often, and I would like to understand why they happen and how to control them.” Or even something as simple as, “I feel sad.” The counselor will ask you questions about what you’ve been experiencing, as well as a history. You and your therapist will discuss your goals for therapy then devise a plan on how to accomplish those goals.
اسأل نفسك إذا كان البكاء يمثل مشكلة بالنسبة لك. فكر في السبب الذي يدفعك للبكاء. تعرف على الأشياء التي تحفزك على البكاء. ابدأ في كتابة يومياتك. قيم نفسك. حاول أن تفهم الطريقة التي تؤثر بها أفكارك على سلوكك وعلى مشاعرك. تواصل مع الآخرين. تعرف على ما قد يحدث أثناء العلاج المتخصص.