Once you're talking about sex, don't try to beat around the bush or subtly get her to bring up oral sex. You need to be upfront if you expect her to be the same. Remember that your sex life is shared, not yours alone, and to make this about both of you, not just her.  "I'd like to find ways to bring more oral sex into our lives." "I think the two of us should start exploring oral sex, if we're both comfortable." "I really enjoy going down on each other, and I'd like to try and make it a more important part of our sex life." Listen, even if it's not what you want to hear. Genuinely listen to you partner expressing her thoughts and concerns. She may or may not have much to say, and what she says might not be to your liking. You have addressed your desires, and even if she says no, she's aware of what you'd like. It will stay in her head, and if you're nothing but supportive, respectful, and understanding then she may feel more confident and trusting once she's had a chance to think about it on her own terms. Remember, all you can do is say your desires -- be honest about your own desires and she will be about hers. Comments or ideas like "I'll do the dishes for a week if you go down on me" aren't going to build the trust and love needed for a happy sex life. The things that go on in the bedroom are communal, not services that she gives you for a job well done, no matter what that job is. If you want her to feel valued and comfortable (and thus more likely to find common ground), don't treat this like a transaction -- treat it like a conversation. Oral sex can be scary for some woman. Some women can easily feel as if their air supply is compromised and like they may gag and choke. She's putting herself in a vulnerable position and it's important that you understand this. Some women fear hurting their partner or just getting it wrong. Without complete sexual trust, these activities could result in her feeling a great deal of anxiety, helplessness, and discomfort. If you dismiss her concerns and only focus on your desires, you're not putting her at ease. Ask her why she dislikes or feels uncomfortable about oral sex and be ready for the answer. Remember that there are likely sexual acts that you, too, are uncomfortable with. There are a lot of ways you can make things better for both of you. Maybe she'd like a little more grooming or manscaping or would prefer if you both showered together beforehand to clean up. Maybe she's wanted to talk about oral sex as well, and would like you to also consider going down on her. Whatever her reasons or ideas, you don't know until you ask. Do you like to initiate sex, then move on to something else? Oral sex is an intimate act, and is more likely if you value and set aside time for your sex life. Guys can go down on girls as well, and if you want to bring oral sex into your relationship, you need to be comfortable performing oral sex as well. This is a great way to not only put her at ease, but slowly incorporate new things into your shared sex life without making her initiate everything. Never use oral sex as a passive aggressive bargaining chip -- "I did it, now you should too." Not only is this disrespectful it has no chance of putting her at ease and making oral sex a permanent part of your relationship.
تكلم عن رغباتك بطريقة متفتحة وواضحة. استمع لها دون إبداء أية تعليقات تاركًا الساحة لها كي تسرد أراءها. لا تنس أن حياتك الجنسية للمشاركة وليست للمساومة بين الزوجين. قم بمراعاة أسباب إرجاء زوجتك أمر الجنس الفموي. سلها عما يمكنك فعله لتجعل التجربة أفضل وأكثر متعة بالنسبة لها. اعلم أن الجنس الفموي ليس طريق أحادي الطرف.