Whatever past event you focus on, you may need to express the feelings you have associated with the event, whether good or bad, before you can move on. There may be experiences in your past that were hurtful, but there also may be good memories as well. Getting out your pent up emotions, whether good or bad, can help you let go of the past and focus on the present.  Talk to a friend, family member, or counselor about your feelings. Try writing down your feelings about the past. You can journal or write a letter to someone that hurt you (just don't send it!). Even if you're dwelling on good memories, it can cause you to lose connection with the present. You may find yourself romanticizing the past or longing for things to be the way they were, instead of focusing on how to improve your present life. Focusing on who to blame for past hurts can spoil the present. Instead of dwelling on who has caused you pain, forgive them. Focus on present events and leave behind any blame or hurt you feel. If there is someone in your past that has hurt you, choose to forgive and forget. Festering in the pain doesn't harm the person who hurt you and it will cause you to stay in the past. If you have to, write the person a letter or talk to the person about how her past actions. You don't have to send the letter, but it will help you stop blaming her for the past and help you move toward the present and your happiness. If expressing your feelings about the past has not helped, focus on happy things. You can't change the past or worry about the future, so don't dwell on it. Think about happy things happening right now. If you find this hard, create a touchstone for yourself. For example, create a happy place that you can think that connects with your current life, such as your favorite reading place in your backyard. If you find yourself thinking too much about your past or worrying about the future, imagine the happy times you have there, or even picture yourself in that comforting place. If all attempts haven't worked, try blocking or pushing aside your memories. This can help you get over bad memories with enough time. Plus, pushing the bad memories far enough into the back of your mind will help them bother you less. Envision yourself pushing the worries behind a door and locking it. Giving yourself a mental image will help, especially if the memories or worries are strong. Studies show that suppression is a possible and learnable skill that can help you get away from memories or break from your past. The more you do it, the better at it you will get. Every time the bad memories come up, purposefully move them to the back of your mind. Train yourself to forget about the event and make a conscious effort to move your mind past it. Whenever you're having anxiety about the future, remind yourself you can only change what is in the present and focus on it. Put together a list of things that you can focus on instead that are rooted in the present. Think about the book you are in the middle of, what it must feel like to be in Hawaii this time of year, or any other scenario to keep your mind off the future. Focus on what is possible instead of things you can't change.  If you're having a hard time, make yourself physical reminders of the things in the present that you love and can focus on. Keep a copy of the book you're reading with you. Print a picture of the place you most love to spend your time and look at it when you need to ground yourself. It may take some practice to come up with ideas and instances that don't trigger your worries about future events. Just keep at it and you'll get it right eventually. If these methods have not worked for you, you should seek help in order to get over your past, worry less about the future, and focus on the present. Look for a mental health professional in your area. You can ask for referrals from your doctor or ask your family and friends. You can see many different kinds of mental health professionals, such as counselors, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. They are trained in suggesting coping skills to help people become more productive or constructive within their daily lives by focusing on the present. Never be embarrassed to ask for help. Your mental health is very important and you should not feel strange about seeking help. It is very common and these professionals are there to help.
عبّر عن مشاعرك تجاه الماضي. انس وسامح. ركّز على الأحداث المبهجة. اكبح ذكرياتك. اعمل على التخلص من مخاوفك بشأن المستقبل. اطلب مساعدة.