You can find inspiration from erotic stories -- many's the woman who has thrilled to 50 Shades of Grey -- but it can also be a good idea to consult some "how-to" manuals on how to improve your sex life. Look for books written by sex experts. It can also be helpful to look for resources that are geared toward where you are in life; there are resources available for LGBT individuals, older individuals, etc. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy recommends the "Better Sex" video series by the Sinclair Institute. Some causes of sexual dysfunction have medical causes, especially for men. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is commonly caused by conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, or obesity, although stress can also cause it. If you're experiencing physical problems that are interfering with your sex life, talk to your doctor. Many conditions that cause sexual dysfunction are very treatable. Don't feel embarrassed about going to your physician; sex issues are very common and your doctor likely deals with them all the time. Sometimes, a couple has issues with their sex life that they can't seem to solve on their own. This is perfectly natural. If you continue having sexual problems, seeing a couple therapist who specializes in sex therapy can help. A sex therapist (or couple therapist with sex therapy training) knows what kinds of questions to ask to help the two of you discover what may be causing your issues in the bedroom. It can be immensely embarrassing to talk to a stranger about your sex life, but sex therapists are held to the same rules of confidentiality as all mental health professionals. They're there to help you, and will not judge you or discuss your issues with anyone else.
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