You may think that you and your partner need to do absolutely everything together in order to live a happily married life. However, if you really want to maintain your bond, then you have to keep up some level of independence. If you and your partner do absolutely everything together and have no time to develop your own interests, then you are likely to become codependent and to lose a sense of your own identities.  If you both spend time pursuing your own hobbies and interests, then you’ll continue and grow as people. You don’t want to be the exact same person you are now twenty years from now, do you? Plus, if you and your spouse spend more time apart, then you’ll be able to appreciate the time you spend together more. It’s easier to take each other for granted when you’re always together. You don’t have to bring your spouse along every time you hang out with your friends just because you’re married. Though you both should be integrated in each other’s social lives, it’s important to make time for “guy time” or “girl time” too, so you continue to build your friendships and your support network. If you want your marriage to last, then you have to keep making an effort to be romantic. While things will change after you’ve been with your spouse for a long time or when you have children together, you should still make an effort to make each other feel special, to have date nights, and to keep courting each other long after you’ve said your vows. This can help keep your marriage feeling exciting, sexy, and fun. Here are some things you can do:  Make sure to keep up with your date nights. Whether you have a date night every week or every other week, keep your dates with your spouse and make sure you don’t do the same old thing every time. Find time for romance even when you’re at home. Whether you’re watching a romantic comedy or making dinner together with candles lit everywhere, it’s important to keep things feeling exciting even when you’re just at home from time to time. Try writing each other really meaningful cards each year on your anniversary. Take the time to really write down all of the reasons why you love your spouse. It can be romantic simply to keep your relationship feeling fresh and spontaneous. Going away on a last-minute weekend trip, signing up for a dance class on a whim, or opening that nice bottle of fancy wine you’ve been saving forever without planning for it can make your relationship feel very romantic and exciting. If you really want your relationship to last, then you have to learn to compromise and to make sacrifices for each other when it’s necessary. Your relationship won’t always be fun and easy, and there will be times when you need to sit down and have a serious conversation about what to do next. Whether you’re deciding where to live, when to have children, or making career decisions that affect you as a family, it’s important that you and your spouse have strong communication and know what your needs are before you make a decision.  Whether you’re making a big decision or a small one, you should make sure that both of you get to tell your sides of the story before a decision is made. Listening is important. Let your spouse express their feelings without interrupting or disagreeing. Make sure you hear them out before you say what’s on your mind. When it comes to compromising, it’s important to remember that it’s often better to be happy than to be right. Ask yourself whether you really want what you’re fighting for, or if you’re just being stubborn; that said, you want to make sure that you both make compromises for each other. As you and your spouse move forward in your relationship, it’s important that you can integrate your families and friends into your marriage and everyday lives. Though you don’t have to be the best of friends with each other’s families or to love every single one of each other’s friends, you should work to make it feel like your families are part of one big family, and like your friends are turning into mutual friends. This can help your marriage feel more secure and can make you both feel like you have a strong support network when you need it. If you love your spouse, then you have to make an effort to love their family and friends. If your spouse has a particularly challenging family or group of friends, then do your best to understand where they are coming from and talk to your spouse about how you can build a stronger relationship with them without putting them down. If you want your marriage to last, then you have to be there when your spouse is going through a rough patch instead of waiting for it to blow over. Whether your spouse is dealing with a death in the family or doubting their career choices, it’s important that you’re supportive and understanding during this difficult time, knowing that your spouse will do the same for you when you’re having a hard time. You can’t expect your spouse to be in a good mood all the time, and you should make sure to be supportive when they need you. Of course, if you get into a pattern where one spouse is always supporting the other, that can get a bit frustrating and exhausting. If you feel like you’re always in the supportive role, talk about what your spouse can do to help you feel more like an individual. If you want to live a happy married life, then you have to understand that not every day will be a walk in the park. This doesn’t mean that you should expect marriage to be drab, dark, and disappointing, but it does mean that you should be prepared for the fact that there will be some struggles, some days of unhappiness, and some days when you just can’t even be in the same room as your spouse. It’s perfectly normal not to get along 100% of the time, and what’s most important is that you both know that and are willing to put in the work.  If you expect your marriage to be perfectly blissful every day, then you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Remember that your spouse has flaws, just like you do. If you expect perfection, then you’ll only get sad or bitter. If your spouse has flaws you’d like them to work on, such as always being late, then have an honest, open conversation about it, and be willing to change the bad habits you can change, too. As the years go on, it’s likely that the person you’re married to won’t be exactly the same as the person you said “I do” to all those years ago. People change, gather knowledge and wisdom, and learn from their experiences as the years go on; they may even change their perspective on a number of things, from their thoughts on having children to their political affiliations. If you want to have a healthy marriage, then you have to accept that both you and your spouse will naturally change over the years; the important thing is that you grow together, not apart.  Be understanding of the ways in which your spouse is changing. If you feel that there are problems and he or she is turning into a person you don’t quite know anymore, then make sure you talk about it. As you grow older, while it’s important to continue your own personal journey, it can also help you to develop interests together. Whether you like cooking together, following your favorite sports team, or watching the same shows year after year, it’s important to find a routine that can give you something to look forward to as a couple. What matters most is that you and your spouse continue to love each other and be understanding of the fact that you will both go through ups and downs in your lives; if you’re true partners, then you’ll both grow into stronger, more capable, and more loving people.
تخصيص الوقت للقيام بأمورك الخاصة، ومنح الطرف الآخر الوقت للقيام بالمثل. حماية العاطفة والرومانسية من الموت. التوصل لحلول وسط تُرضي الطرفين. دمج أصدقاء وعائلتي بعضكما البعض في حياتكما. تواجد في اللحظات الهامة من حياة شريكة حياتك. الالتزام بالتوقعات الواقعية. تعلما كيفية النمو والنضوج سويًا.