If you're in the middle of a situation where you feel the urge to boss someone around, take a moment to yourself. Focus on your breath and take several deep "belly" breaths, inhaling so that your stomach extends out while your chest stays in place. This will activate the "rest and digest" part of your nervous system, calm you down, and allow you more flexibility to act. Use this technique to stop yourself from following the same old pattern of being bossy. Instead, you can choose a different path that's more personable and probably even more efficient. A big part of being bossy stems from always thinking that you're right about everything. If you let this go and admit that you're just as fallible as the next person, then you'll learn to work with others and to see that they have knowledge and experience to offer you as well. The next time you made a mistake, whether it was at work or with your circle of friends, swallow your pride and admit it. Say that you did what you thought was best and it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. People will appreciate this behavior, instead of you pretending that everything was someone else's fault.  If you've made a mistake, a sincere apology will help set things straight and let people know that you are open to compromise, rather than just being bossy.  For example, you can say "I'm sorry about what I did. I know I make mistakes just like everyone else." If you're bossy, then the hardest thing in the world can be to accept that some things will just be the way they are. This can include the weather, your coworkers, your friends, or really anything that you can't completely control or boss around. Though there are some things that are worth changing or improving, there are others that you simply cannot change. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you'll be on your way to being less bossy and having a more calm, restful mindset.  Work on accepting things you can't change. Ask yourself if it's something within your control and also if it's something that will have positive consequences if changed. For example, sometimes making changes that aren't absolutely necessary may anger people around you, if they like things the way they are. Make sure it's worth it before you go around changing everything. You can say to yourself "This is a hard thing for me to accept, but I'm going to try my best, because it's out of my control." Of course, it's okay not to accept some things. If something really isn't working in your environment, then wanting to change it can be an admirable and meaningful task. You may think that giving up control means admitting failure and giving up your perfect vision of whatever you want to happen. However, in reality, giving up control can actually be a gratifying experience. Not only will you be improving your relationship with others by allowing them to gain responsibility, but you'll also be relieving your own stress, and allowing yourself to have more time to do the things you enjoy doing (and that doesn't include bossing other people around). At first, you may find it unpleasant, but the more you do it, the better it will feel.  Start small to ease into this. You shouldn't give up all responsibility of your main project or stop making any decisions at all. Just give up some minor control at first, whether you let another coworker proofread a report or let your friend choose where you want to eat. You'll see that it'll get easier and easier. Giving up control can actually improve your performance and even your own health. It's good for productivity to be open to making mistakes, and giving up control will allow you to be easier on yourself. Bossy people often want the people around them to be someone other than who they are. They may want them to be more committed friends, harder workers, or more efficient people, and they may try everything they can to make these people change. Now, there are many situations where a person has room for improvement, such as a messy roommate or a coworker who is always late, and those problems are worth addressing. But you can't expect a person to change completely or you will be sorely disappointed.  For example, if you have a messy roommate, you can certainly ask the person to do his share of the dishes, to take out the trash more often, and to clean up his or her own space. You can do this and hope the person doesn't have to be reminded, but you can't expect the person to keep everything perfect 100% of the time. There's a difference between having high expectations and unreasonable expectations. Sure, you can expect the people who work under you to pick up the slack, but you can't get them to double their pace unless they really have a lot of room for improvement. A lot of the reasons that many people are bossy have to do with their lack of self-esteem. You may feel like people won't like you or they won't listen to you unless you're bossy and rude and tell them exactly what to do. Instead, you need to recognize that you're a person who is worth listening to, and that you don't have to put the pressure on so much to have others hear you out. Work on doing the things you love, addressing the flaws that can be addressed, and realizing that you're a person who is worth listening to — the first time around. Use these steps:  Take an inventory of what you're good at. Make a list of things you believe are your areas of strength. If you have trouble coming up with very many, think about what positive things people have said about you over the years. Set realistic expectations for yourself. One of the easiest ways to be too hard on yourself is to have unrealistic expectations. Examine what you expect from yourself in performing the activities of your life and ask yourself if they are reasonable. You may want to consult a trusted friend or family member to get a second opinion. Focus on progress rather than perfection. Instead of setting up a really high goal, focus on small improvements that you make. For example, if you're trying to start exercising, focus on doing ten minutes more than you did the day before, rather than expecting yourself to be able to work out for two hours right off the bat.
خذ خطوة للوراء وتنفس. تعلم كيف تعترف بالخطأ. تقبل الأمور كما هي. اعرف أن التخلي عن السلطة مكسب. امتلك توقعات واقعية عن الآخرين. اعمل على ثقتك بنفسك.