During the heat of the moment may not be the best time to have the conversation, since tempers are charged and either of you might say something regrettable.  Meet soon after the condescending action occurs. If you allow too much time to pass, the incident will be forgotten and the details will become blurry.  Try to sit down with your spouse within a few days of the incident in order to address it while it is still fresh. Find a calm setting where you two can be alone. Presenting your case in front of friends will make you look wounded and your spouse like a jerk. Talk with your spouse after he has had time to relax and unwind from work. Wait until the kids are in bed and after you’ve both had a chance to unwind. Don’t take the blame for your spouse's behavior, but try to communicate how you feel in a non-threatening way. Say that you feel sad/upset/hurt when your spouse is condescending towards you.  For example, you might say something like, "I feel sad when you talk to me in that tone of voice."  Or, "I feel angry when you undermine my intelligence." Avoid saying that your spouse makes you feel a certain way because this phrasing may put your spouse on the defensive. It may be helpful to provide specific examples when you talk to your spouse about his or her behavior. Choose a recent instance and be specific about what was said and done.  For example, you might say, "Last night during dinner you made a remark that was pretty condescending. You said that it would be a waste of time to try to explain your new project to me because I wouldn't be able to understand." Avoid choosing an example where you and/or your spouse were intoxicated, as the details may not be as clear. Your spouse might respond to you in condescending ways due to insecurity or a sense of inadequacy. Learning the motivation for your spouses bad behavior can make it easier for you to empathize with your spouse and get your spouse to start behaving in a more respectful manner.  Try asking your spouse to tell you what is really going on by saying something like, "I feel like you might be upset about something other than me. What is going on?" For example, if your spouse becomes angry and talks down to you when you ask him or her about work, your spouse may be feeling insecure about his or her ability to perform well. Although your spouse's behavior is still inappropriate, knowing what is really going on behind the condescension may help you figure out a better way of living together. Make it clear that condescending behavior is not acceptable and that you will not tolerate it. Stand your ground and do not change your mind if your spouse further belittles you or tries to make light of the situation. One example of a consequence you could set is to say something like "if you speak to me in that tone, I will leave the room. If you continue putting me down in front of others, I will take steps to end our relationship." Don't let your spouse's condescension get to you. Next time he is condescending, think about what is funny about the situation. Make a joke or laugh it off by pretending to think that your spouse must be joking. By using humor, your spouse loses some of the power he or she is trying to wield through  condescension. The exact humor that you use is highly context specific but it may be best to avoid self-deprecating humor since he is already being condescending and putting you down. One way to stop condescending remarks in their tracks is to turn the spotlight onto the person making the comments. To do this, ask questions that are relevant to the context. For example, if your spouse is being condescending about your parenting skills, you might ask "how would you do it better?" or "what is the evidence for doing it the way you would like to?"
स्पाउस का सामना करने का सबसे बढ़िया समय तय करिए: अपनी बात ऐसे कहिए कि वह धमकी न लगे: अपना पॉइंट (point) समझाने के लिए उदाहरणों का इस्तेमाल करिए: अपने स्पाउस से पूछिये कि वो किस कारण से नीचा दिखाते हैं: परिणाम तय कर लीजिये: उसे झाड़ देने के लिए मज़ाक का इस्तेमाल करिए: स्पॉटलाइट का रुख बदल दीजिये: