Your boyfriend might physically be spending plenty of time with you, but may not be paying attention to you because he’s busy looking at his phone or computer.  This infringes on your quality time together.  Talk it over with him and set limits one when you can both utilize technology while together.  “We both seem to spend so much time looking at our phones that we miss out on opportunities to spend quality time together.  I’d like to suggest that we set some parameters for when we use technology when we’re together.” Consider banning phones from any meals you eat together.  Put them on the counter, in another room, just make them inaccessible so that you two can talk with one another. Put your phones and tablets on “Do Not Disturb” or “Goodnight Mode” so that neither of you are compelled to check an incoming email or text message after 9 o’clock in the evening. You might want to compromise if your boyfriend’s job is dependent on being available on off hours. For example, many doctors must be on call and available to address patient issues over the telephone on evenings and weekends. Talk to your boyfriend about your schedules and together, decide on days or activities that you’d regularly like to make time to be together.  This doesn’t mean that you should only spend time together on those days, or that you’re even committed to always spending time together according to the schedule, but it does give you a nice foundation with which to work.  You might plan on taco Tuesdays for dinner at a local eatery, Fridays going out for dinner and a movie, Saturdays going bike riding or hiking, and Mondays watching television at home. This will help you establish a foundation, but also help you have the conversation about how much time you feel each of you should make for the other. While you two are talking about how much time you expect one another to make for the relationship, also come up with a code word that either of you can say if you’re uncomfortable with your partner’s behavior.  Code words are discreet, quick, simple, and keep the conversation between the two of you.  This is especially effective if one of you breaks the technology rules that you agree on. This is also handy if you’re in a group setting and he starts making plans with someone else for a time that you already agreed to spend together. Keep your code word simple, but also not an everyday word.  You don’t want it to be so common that you both get confused.  For example, “seltzer water” or “lamp shade” or “Professor Xavier” are simple but also unique enough that they won’t come up in everyday conversation, typically. You and your boyfriend may have different schedules or responsibilities that prevent you from seeing one another as much as you like.  This is a great opportunity to utilize technology, such as text messages, social media, or even video chat.  Making time for one another doesn’t have to be only in person. This is particularly helpful if one or both of you is especially busy.  For example, if he has frequent evening work engagements, he may simply be unable to schedule dinners with you regularly.  Suggest, then, that you have late-night video chats after he’s done with his work commitments.
ضعي قواعد لتقليل الإلهاءات الناتجة عن التكنولوجيا. ضعي جدولًا زمنيًا. ليكن لكما كلمة سر. ابحثي عن طرق بديلة للتواصل عندما لا تكونان معًا.