Your spouse's reasons for cheating may not always be obvious, and you may feel that the natural thing to do is to blame yourself. Maybe you think you've grown distant, or that you haven't been very forthcoming in the bedroom. Maybe you've let work overwhelm you and haven't made enough time for the relationship. However, these may be reasons that your relationship needs some more work, but you need to know that nothing you do can ever cause your spouse to cheat, and you shouldn't ever blame yourself for your spouse's mistakes.  Sure, you may be at fault for a certain problem in the relationship, and it's important to acknowledge that. However, you should never, ever think that some mistake on your part makes your spouse's cheating okay. If you focus too much on blaming yourself, then that will be letting your partner off the hook. It's important for you to focus on your partner's behavior, too. If you want to drive yourself crazy as quickly as possible, then you can ask a million questions about the other man or woman, spend hours stalking that person's Facebook profile, or even try to catch a glimpse of this person in person. You may think that knowing everything about this person can help you figure out what was wrong with your relationship, but in reality, this won't give you any more answers, though it will cause you plenty of pain.  When a spouse is having an affair, it's rarely about the third person. Unless that spouse thinks he's truly started a meaningful relationship with a third party, most of the time, it's really an expression of the cheater's dissatisfaction with himself or the marriage. If you focus too much on the other man or other woman, then you won't be thinking about your spouse or the relationship. Though knowing some things about the affair can bring you comfort, you may not want to know too much about what the other person looks like, what he does for a living, or any other details that are likely to distract you or to make you feel bad about yourself. It's just not worth it. Though you may think that you'll be able to move forward if you can just find a logical explanation for why the cheating happened, such as the fact that your husband has been feeling powerless ever since he lost his job, or that the third party came on to your wife so much that she couldn't possibly resist, there's no use in trying to make sense out of nonsense. Accept that you're hurt and that you need to find a way to move on, but don't think that making excuses for your spouse is the way to get there.  What went through your spouse's mind when he or she decided to cheat may defy logic. Don't spend too much time trying to come up with a perfect reason for why it happened and work on moving forward instead. You may feel incredibly hurt and incredibly angry, and may have the urge to tell all of your family members, your closest friends, or even to post about it on social media to really get your feelings out. However, if there is a chance you want to reconcile and make things work, then you'll have to deal with people looking at your spouse and your relationship differently for the rest of your lives. Instead of telling everyone you know, tell only the people close to you who you think can really help you think this through.  Once you tell everyone about what happened, you may feel an initial relief, but that could be followed by some pain and regret. You may not realize that you weren't ready for everyone's advice or judgment. If you do tell your close friends about your partner's infidelity, make sure you do so cautiously if you're not sure what you want to do about it. If your friends think you're definitely going to leave your partner, then they may tell you the 1,000 things they never liked about him, and this won't actually make you feel any better and may lead to awkwardness down the line if you choose to stay in the relationship. Along with keeping what happened to yourself, you shouldn't worry about what those who know about the affair think. Though the people close to you can give you useful advice, in the end, it's all about what's best for you. You shouldn't ask yourself what everyone will think if you decide to leave or to stay in the relationship. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, and you shouldn't let the judgment of others cloud your decision-making process. Talking to the people close to you can definitely help you gain strength as well as a new perspective about your situation. But in the end, know that their opinions can never replace your own. Though you may think that you want to pack up your things or kick your spouse out of the house the second you find out about the cheating, you need to take more time to think this through. You can certainly spend some time away from your spouse, but avoid saying you want a divorce or taking any drastic measures right away. Give yourself time to reflect about what happened and what's best for you and your relationship instead of doing something you may regret later. Though deciding to take some time apart immediately can be a good thing, you should avoid saying that you want a divorce as soon as you hear the news; though this may be what your gut tells you to do, wait until you have a clear head before you decide this for good. Though it may feel good to be cruel to your spouse, to take away the things that he loves, or even to have your own affair in return, this kind of behavior won't get you very far and it won't help you move your relationship forward. Though you can be hurt, cold to your spouse, and keep your distance for a while, you shouldn't actively make a point of making him or her feel worse, or you both will end up feeling terrible. Punishing your spouse will only fill you with more bitterness and will make your relationship feel even worse. It's okay to take some time apart and to be more cold and distant than normal, but being actively cruel won't make anything better.
स्वयं को दोषी मत समझिए: थर्ड पार्टी के प्रति जुनून मत पालिए: औचित्य स्थापित करने का प्रयास मत करिए: पूरी दुनिया को मत बताइये: आपके मित्र और परिवार वाले क्या कहेंगे इसे ले कर जुनून न पाल लीजिये: बिना सोचे विचारे कोई बड़ा कदम मत उठाइएगा: अपने जीवनसाथी को सज़ा मत दीजिये: