Almost all fears have to be learned. When we're young, we don't know to be afraid. Then we become adults, and we learn that we should be afraid of some things. We're afraid to talk to others. We're afraid to give a big speech. We're afraid to go on that roller coaster. At one time, we weren't. The trick to conquering fear is remembering that it's learned -- and it can be unlearned, too. This is particularly apt for social fears, which often stem from a fear of being rejected and a lack of self-compassion. If you wouldn't reject someone you loved for doing something, chances are that most people won't reject you either. (And if they do, that says much more about them than it does about you.) . Visualize yourself confident and utterly lacking fear. Confidence itself doesn't guarantee success, but approaching a situation with confidence can help you try harder. So picture yourself in the situation. Work out the sights, the smells, how you feel, what you can touch. Now take control of it. This can take practice. At the beginning, start with just 5 minutes of visualization. When it becomes easy, move it to 10. Then, spend as much time as you need to get in the zone. Practicing  progressive muscle relaxation can help rid your body of anxiety, which will help you feel comfortable when it comes time to face your fear.  Lie down in a comfortable, quiet place. Focus on tensing the muscles in one muscle group, such as your hand or forehead. Maintain the tension for 5 seconds. Relax. Feel the relaxation spreading throughout that muscle group. Repeat this process with major muscle groups, such as your facial muscles, hands, upper arms, back, stomach, hips and buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet. . The sympathetic nervous system is activated when you feel afraid, and this causes physical symptoms like an elevated heart rate and rapid, shallow breathing. Counteract these symptoms by focusing on deep, even, relaxing breathing exercises. Lie on your back and place your hand on your stomach. As you breathe in through your nose, you should feel your stomach expanding. Then, slowly release your breath through your mouth. Repeat this at least 10 times. Many fears are about the uncontrollable future. Winston Churchill once said, “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” Practicing  mindfulness through meditation can help you stay in the moment and not obsess over things you can't control anyway. Mindfulness can also improve your concentration and create a deeper sense of well-being and acceptance. Being afraid of something can produce a lot of nervous energy, thanks to the working of our sympathetic nervous system (the system responsible for our “flight-or-fight” response). But while you may never be entirely relaxed and calm about doing something you're afraid of, you may be able to transform how you think about that jittery jolt. Envision your fear energy as enthusiasm instead -- your body can't actually tell the difference. For example, if you're terrified of traveling but love going to see your family who lives far away from you, try transforming the nervous energy you feel about getting on the plane or train into excitement about your ultimate goal. You may be a little uncomfortable for a few moments, but you will be so happy when you've refused to let your fear keep you from your visit. Thinking about your successes can boost your self-confidence, and that can help you feel strong enough to conquer your fear. What are the awesome things you've done in the face of adversity? What have you done that you weren't sure you'd be able to do? What didn't kill you and only made you better? Don't belittle your own accomplishments. You've probably had more successes than you realize, even if they aren't gigantic things like being President of the United States. Did you graduate from high school? File your taxes on time? Cook your own dinner? These are all successes. Just the next 20 seconds. When you're about to face your fears, think only of the next 20 seconds. That's it. It's not the rest of your life at stake, not even the rest of the afternoon. All you need is the next 20 seconds. 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. 20 seconds of insatiable gusto. 20 seconds of irrepressible awesome. You can manage that, right? You can fake it for 1/3 of ONE minute? Because after that first 20 seconds is over, it's all downhill from there.
اعرف أن الخوف شيء مكتسب. تخيـَّل النجاح. أرخِ جسدك. تنفـَّس. عـِش في حدود اللحظة. حوِّل مخاوفك وعصبيتك إلى طاقة. فكر في إنجازاتك السابقة. فكر في الـ 20 ثانية القادمة.