Most of the time, we feel guilty because we have done or said something that caused harm to someone else. This type of guilt helps you to understand when you may be at fault for something, which is healthy and normal. For example, if you forget a friend’s birthday, you might feel guilty because friends are expected to remember and celebrate their friends’ birthdays. This is healthy guilt because it alerts you to something you failed to do that may damage your relationship with this person. Sometimes we may feel guilty when we don’t need to feel guilty. This type of guilt is known as unhealthy or unproductive guilt because it is not serving a purpose. It just makes us feel bad.  For example, if you feel guilty because you had to work on your friend’s birthday and could not attend her party, this would be an example of unhealthy guilt. If you are scheduled to work and cannot take time off for a birthday party, this is beyond your control. Your friend should understand that you had to miss her party in order to keep your job. If you feel guilty about something, it is important to identify what you feel guilty about and why. Identifying the source of your guilt and why it makes you feel guilty can help you to determine if you are experiencing healthy or unhealthy guilt. Either way, you will need to work through these feelings in order to overcome them. Journaling about your guilt may help you to start to understand it and deal it. Start by writing down the reason that you feel guilty. If it was something you did or said to someone, describe what happened in as much detail as you can. Include in your description how this situation made you feel and why. What do you think that you should feel guilty about? For example, you might write about the reasons why you forgot your friend’s birthday. What was going on that distracted you? How did your friend react? How did that make you feel? Once you have determined whether or not your guilt is healthy or unhealthy, you can determine if you need to apologize for your actions. In the case of forgetting about your friend’s birthday, you should apologize because you failed to do something that friends are supposed to do. Make sure that your apology is sincere and that you don’t make excuses for your actions. It is important to take full responsibility for your actions in order to show your friend that you really do feel bad. Say something simple like, “I am really sorry for _____.” After you have considered your guilt, identified its source, and apologized if necessary, you should take some time to reflect on your actions in order to prevent a similar situation in the future. Reflecting when you have done something wrong can help you to grow from an experience rather than keep on making the same mistakes. For example, after reflecting on the experience of forgetting your friend’s birthday, you might decide that in the future you need to be more careful about remembering important dates and take steps to prevent a similar situation in the future.
تفهم وظيفة الشعور بالذنب. تعرف على الشعور بالذنب غير المفيد. تعرف على ما تشعر نحوه بالذنب. اكتب عن مشاعرك. اعتذر إذا كان ذلك ضروريًا. تأمل الموقف جيدًا حتى تتجنب المواقف المشابهة في المستقبل.