Value and respect yourself.  It’s not necessary to be a perfectionist.  It’s okay if not everyone likes you.  It’s okay if you’re not perfect at absolutely every activity you take up.  Your personal value has nothing to do with the things you achieve or don’t achieve.  You have value and are worthy no matter what you do, or don’t do.  It’s not necessary to take on an “all or nothing” attitude about life.  Change your vocabulary and stop using the word “should.”  “Should” implies a level of perfectionism that isn’t necessary, and can sometimes enforce the unnecessary and useless expectations of others. Replace the critical thoughts you have about yourself with encouraging thoughts.  Give yourself constructive criticism that can help you make a positive change.  Don’t feel the need to take responsibility for everything.  Not only does it increase your stress levels and overwhelm you, you take away the opportunity for others to be responsible for something (including themselves). If something was in your control, and you made a mistake, take the blame.  However, if something was out of your control, there’s no need for you to take the blame or feel guilty about it. Not only is being positive important for you, it’s important for the people around you.  Young adults listen to what older adults say, and if they hear you talking negatively about yourself (e.g. my butt is fat), may become self-critical as well.  Many of these comments are spoken so often we forget we’re actually saying them.  So the next time you feel a negative comment coming on, consciously try to change it to a positive comment.  You won’t change overnight, and there will be some days when it may feel impossible to think positively, but start small.  The important thing is that you realize when you’re being negative and to do something about it.  Look at yourself in the mirror at least once a day and make a positive comment about yourself. Don’t just think about the positive comments, say them.  If you like the way your new hair cut looks, say so! Consider this an opportunity to challenge yourself.  Learn something new every day.  Enrol in courses that teach you something new and exciting, like: drawing, painting, cooking, singing, pottery, etc.  Or enrol in college or university courses in subjects that have always interested you, but you haven’t previously had the time to take.  Expand your horizons.  Encourage a friend to join you in one of your ‘learning expeditions’. Take risks.  Don’t look at every new learning opportunity as something that must either be won or lost, or perfected.  Understand ahead of time that it’s okay if you suck at something, because you can still have fun.  But unless you take a walk outside your comfort zone and take a small risk, you may never know how fun it is to learn something new without any expectations. Success in your life isn’t dependent upon other people, it’s depends on what YOU want.  Success doesn’t have to be a pre-defined “standard” like the American Dream.  Your success should be based on realistic goals that you have for yourself, based on your own wants and needs.  Success also doesn’t have to mean perfection, it can include many goals that you can achieve at a level other than perfection.  And success doesn’t have to be an end goal, it can be the journey.  If you attempted something (e.g. knitting a scarf) and weren’t able to figure it out (e.g. it looked more like a pile of yarn), that’s okay!  If you had fun trying, that’s what’s important. No matter what you attempt to do in life, chances are you’ll make a mistake at some point.  Everyone does.  First off, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making a mistake.  Some historical mistakes have actually changed the world (e.g. teflon, vulcanized rubber, post-it notes, penicillin).  Instead of stressing over the fact that you made a mistake, use it as an opportunity to learn.  Think about what you could have done differently.  The more mistakes you make, the more you learn and the smarter you become!
توقّفي عن انتقاد النفس. فكّري بشكل إيجابي. لا تتوقفي عن التعلّم. اعملي على وضع تعريفكِ الخاص للنجاح. تعاملي مع أخطائكِ كفرص للتعلّم.