The way you see yourself is shaped by forces that have very little to do with reality. Beauty standards are contradictory and ever-changing. They tend to reflect imbalances of power—racism, ageism, ableism, sexism. When you have a negative thought about your own looks, ask: what is making me feel this way? Am I holding myself up to a standard that is destructive?  Watching a lot of television makes most people wish they looked different. Understand that the reasons some features might be used in advertisements has very little to do with what is attractive in real life. People in photographs are manipulated to look smooth and fit. If someone had no wrinkles or fat or asymmetry at all in real life, they would look frightening. Understand that different kinds of beauty are prized for different reasons. For instance, runway models have skinny bodies so that they don't distract from the clothing they present. Nobody's looks are unique. Find beautiful people who look like you. It is hard to really see yourself when you are surrounded by people who don't look like you. Remember the parable of the ugly duckling: it's not that he became beautiful when he grew up—it's that he was judged out of context when he was young. If you want, find a role model that has the same features as you so you don't have to change a thing!   Gather images of people you find beautiful who have features in common with you. Find pictures and paintings of people with your hair, your body type, skin like yours, and similar eyes, noses, and mouths. Look in magazines, museum catalogs, and on the internet. Find images of people from the countries your ancestors came from. Look for pictures of beautiful people from all different eras. You'll notice that the standards of beauty change constantly, and are never singular, even within a country or a year. Hang the pictures in your room. Dress up as one of your famous beauty icons for a costume party. When someone tells you you look good, believe that they are sincere in their belief. You don't have to think that you look good to believe that others think you look good. Say "thank you," and give your admirer a compliment in return.  When someone is into you, believe it. People with low self-esteem turn down dates because they have trouble accepting the offer. Take the date! Ask the people you date what they like about you. You'll be surprised by the things that attract them. Make sure to tell them what you like about them! Thoughtful, sincere compliments are attractive, too.
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