Once you have established a good connection with your crush, you should start trying to get to know him or her better. Start with something that he or she has mentioned or that you have observed in your interactions. For example, “I see you have some books with you, what are you reading?” This is a low pressure question that lets your crush know you are interested in him or her. Then ask follow up questions.  For example, if he or she is excited to talk about the books, ask more questions/make connections related to the books. For example, “That is cool that you are reading that book. My favorite book by that author is ______.” Or, if he or she doesn't seem too excited about his or her books, you can move onto something else more open ended. Say something like, “So what else are you up to this week?”. Avoid bring up topics of conversation that show that you already know about your crushes’ interests because that might make you feel awkward. For example, if you know he plays soccer, avoid bringing that up directly. Don’t say “So tell me about your soccer season.” Instead, let the conversation get there naturally. Your crush will enjoy him/herself in a conversation with you much more if you are a good listener. Once you have started conversation, you should be face to face or in a listening position where you hear and see his or her face easily. Another key part of active listening is making consistent (but not constant) eye contact during your conversation.  Avoid distractions. Don’t send a text or look at your phone while you talk. This will make it seem like you are disinterested and might keep you from really hearing what your crush is saying. Repeat the main idea of what your crush is saying. This will let him or her know that you are listening and will give him or her the chance to clarify anything. Repeat the most meaningful parts of what he or she is saying. For example, you can say “So are you saying that you are new to painting but it feels like you have been doing it forever?”. This will help him or her feel connected to you because you show that you understand important things about him or her. Avoid interrupting him or her in conversation. It is easy to get excited by what we want to say and interrupt during his or her turn in the conversation. But resist the temptation and wait until he or she has finished talking, and then show your enthusiasm for what he or she is saying. Be empathetic. If your crush talks about something hard that is going on with him or her, make sure you don’t skip over his or her feelings in the conversation. You could say in response to him or her talking about failing a test, something like, “I could understand why it would be really frustrating to have to retake that test.” One way to keep a conversation friendly and natural is if you seem like you are having a good time talking with him or her. A few ways you can show this if you make eye contact, smile often, laugh, lean forward slightly when you are talking, and use open body language. Use any gestures when you talk that are natural for you, and keep your arms open and not crossed. Tilting your head to one side is another good way to show friendliness/playfulness when you are talking and flirting. If things seem to be going well, ask your crush if he or she wants to hang out again or ask for his or her number. This is good to do around the three quarter point into your conversation. It is a good idea to suggest getting together or getting his or her number after you have made solid connections and before the conversation has become tired or worn out. Think about a couple of activities that would be right for you both before you have a conversation. Say something like, “You are really cool, would you want to hang out sometime?” Then suggest a couple of things you can do together and get his or her number.  Or if you want to play it safer, you can simply ask “Hey, can I have your number? I have really enjoyed talking to you.” If you feel like the conversation was just okay, you can always wait for a couple more conversations through texting or in person before asking to him or her to hang out. You might want to talk to your crush about something he or she talked about at the beginning of the conversation. For example, you can say, “So how much longer do you think you need to spend on your midterm paper?” And then spend the rest of the conversation finishing talking about the points of conversation you have already started.  You can make inside jokes about what you talked about. For example, you can say “Well now that we have made it through this lunch period without water, I suppose we can get through anything together.” Making inside jokes can help you cement connections you have made, and it is a good way to make your connection last past the first conversation. When you are feeling good and you have just finished laughing about something, you should politely end your conversation so that your crush is left with a good impression. Make sure to tell him or her that you enjoyed your conversation.  You can keep the end of your conversation casual. You can say something like, “I should be getting home now, but I had a lot of fun talking to you.” If you are going to be seeing your crush in the future you should say something about seeing him or her again. Say, “I look forward to seeing you in class and hearing how your paper turned out.” Send a follow up text in the next couple of days saying hello and checking in with him or her about the things you talked about.
اطرح الأسئلة حول اهتماماتها وهواياتها وعملها. كن مستمعًا جيدًا. أظهر لها مدى استمتاعك بالمحادثة. استغل الفرصة من أجل ترتيب فرصة قريبة لقضاء الوقت سويًا. استعد بعض الأشياء التي دارت المحادثة حولها. أنهِ المحادثة بذكر أمر إيجابي.