This is a big piece of news you are about to share and it's okay and perfectly normal to feel nervous. Depression is considered a mental illness, and because there are a lot of misconceptions about individuals struggling with mental disorders like depression, people can sometimes feel stigmatized with their new diagnosis. However, realize that opening up about your illness is one of the steps to effective coping and recovery. Many people don't just have one best friend but instead have a bunch of really close or even "best" friends. You need to think about who you are sharing the information with and whether this is a good for you.  If you are already in counseling, explore this topic of sharing your depression with a friend with your counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. If your friend is a great listener, discreet, trustworthy, reliable, non-judgmental, supportive and mentally healthy, then this friend sounds like the ideal person to share your concerns with. Your friend can be a sounding board for you and help you maintain a healthy perspective as you work through your recovery. If you're questioning whether or not you should tell your friend about your depression, consider how you'd respond to the following questions:  Does your friend make disparaging remarks about “crazy people”? Can your friend be condescending or judgmental at times with other people? Is your friend going through his or her own depression issues? Can your friend be insensitive to you at times? Does your friend handle emotions well? Does your friend gossip or spread rumors? If you answered yes to any of these or recall any instances where your friend exhibited disconcerting attitudes and behaviors, it might be best that you just simply let your friend know that you are going through some major issues, but that you’re working on them, getting help and will be in touch. That said, sometimes friends can surprise us. If your friend is able to drop her usual behaviors or attitudes out of concern for you, and if you feel comfortable sharing this information, you can start with small pieces of information to share and see how well your friend receives it. Back off whenever you feel uncomfortable or upset. How much are you going to share? Sharing your condition is up to you, irrespective of whether or not you have received an official diagnosis.Start with what you think your friend will need to know both about depression in general and about your specific experience of it. What about depression is important for your friend to know? What misconceptions or myths might be important to correct? What about your personal experience is important for your friend to know?  Keep in mind that your friend may have someone in her family who is depressed and may know a lot about the illness. On the other hand, your friend may know very little about depression. It is important to read up on depression and educate yourself about your illness so that you can help your friend better understand depression, how it affects you, and how they can help and support you going forward. In addition, educating yourself about depression has its own benefits for your recovery process!  Remember that you do not have to explain why you're depressed. You don't need to provide a justifiable reason to be depressed or to feel sad.  All you need to do to share your feelings with your best friend is to tell honestly them how you’re feeling, and ask for what you need from them, be it support, patience, understanding, or space. While you may not be able to predict how they're going to respond, weighing different possibilities might help you prepare. Be sure as well to think about how different reactions might make you feel and how you might respond. Planning in advance for this helps make sure you're not caught off-guard and that you keep your goals for the conversation in sight.  Keep in mind that your friend may not understand you. People who have never suffered from depression may not be familiar with the symptoms. This means that sometimes they have a hard time understanding why you can’t “just stop feeling sad” or “just get out of bed.” This isn’t necessarily a lack of empathy or compassion on the part of your friend. Instead, it could be the case that this person cares about you and wants you to feel better, but doesn’t understand how the disorder makes people feel. Another possibility is that your friend may feel like it’s her responsibility to “fix” you. Your friend might think that they can help "lift" you out of your depression. This is not their job, as it puts pressure on both her and you. Another possible reaction is to abruptly change the subject or turn the focus of the conversation around onto herself. This possible outcome can feel hurtful, like your friend is being selfish or doesn’t care about you, but it is more likely the case that they simply don’t know how to respond to what you’ve said, or that they are trying to show you that they’ve been in a similar situation and can relate to what you’re feeling. In each of these scenarios, prepare what you will do and say.  For example, if your friend seems to be reacting to your disclosure by using language that implies they want to "fix" you, point out that it's not your friend’s job to fix you (since you're not "broken") and that what you would like instead is support. If she has a hard time accepting this, plan to say something like "I have to be able to sort this out on my own. Your support means the world to me, but you can’t do this for me, even though I know you wish you could. It’s like wanting to help me for a test, but then doing all the studying for me. If I don’t have the knowledge to take the test, I can’t pass it myself. This is very similar.” To have a conversation that both speakers can feel good about at the end, they have to be working towards building the “common ground,” or the common knowledge between them. Think about what  you want out of the conversation and how you want your friend to respond. In all likelihood, your friend will want to help you, so plan ways to let your friend know how to do so in the best way possible.  For example, do you need your friend to “just” listen and be someone you can talk to? Do you need to ask for help with getting to and from treatment? Do you need someone to help you manage everyday tasks, like cooking, cleaning, and laundry? Know that your friend might only be able to help you out in small ways, so it’s best to go into the conversation a clear sense of what you want from a friend. You could also wait for your friend to ask if and how she could help you, and then discuss whether or not your friend could contribute in the way you need her to. For instance, you could ask your friend to speak with you for a few minutes every night to help you with your insomnia (a symptom of depression), check in with you to see how your day went, or to check to see if you took your medication that day. Taking notes can help you gather your thoughts and organize them. Once you've written it down, practice saying it out loud in front of a mirror. Ask a someone you trust who is already informed about your situation, such as a parent or therapist, to practice the conversation with you. Role-playing the conversation can help you prepare. In the role-play, you'll act out potential scenarios; you will be yourself in the role-play, and your partner will play the role of your friend.  React to whatever the other person says, even if you think it is ridiculous or unlikely to happen. Just practicing responding to absurd or surprising statements from a friend can give you the confidence to approach a difficult conversation like this one. To get the most out of the role-play, be as realistic as possible in your responses. Incorporate non-verbal communication into your role-play. Remember that gestures, posture, and tone of voice are a major factor in your conversation. After the role-play, ask your partner for feedback, telling you what worked well and some areas where you might think more about what you will say or otherwise improve your response.
اقبل استعدادك ورغبتك في الحديث عن الأمر. فكر بمن ستخبره. تمهل وفكر إن لم تكن واثقاً بشأن إخبار صديقك المفضل. فكر في ماهية المعلومات التي تود مشاركتها مع صديقك. تخيل رد فعل صديقك. حدد المعلومات أو الإجابات التي تريد سماعها بالمقال. دون ما تريد قوله. تدرب على المحادثة.