Bullies have a need to dominate others. They tend to be aggressive toward adults; they are quick-tempered, impulsive and intolerant of frustration; they tend to be coldhearted and unfeeling toward their victims; they find it difficult to follow rules; they are good at talking themselves out of getting into trouble; and have a favorable view of violence.
Bullying involves isolation, humiliation and persecution. Eighty-five percent of bullying occurs in front of people. By publicly dominating the victim and demonstrating a victim's lack of social support, the bully establishes a "right" to torture the victim. Once that happens, it reduces the chance that anyone will step forward and help the victim.
Perhaps because the bully senses that most onlookers don't like what he or she is doing, bullies can be stopped pretty much in the act. If just one person speaks up for the victim, most incidents end quickly.
Young people shouldn't take that as a recommendation to physically challenge a bully; bullies are generally short-tempered, mean and accompanied by friends who act as henchmen. However, if you see someone being bullied, diplomatically urging the bully to "cool it" and leading the victim away may end the incident. But even that approach can be risky. It is best to find an adult to step in. Drugs and/or alcohol can be involved with hostile behavior, what some call "whiskey muscles."
More than 80 percent of students say that watching bullying makes them uncomfortable. However, 54 percent admit they reinforce the bullying by passively watching, and 21 percent of the remainder say they actively participate. Only 1 student in 4 tries to help the victim.
Since a bully needs an audience, watching is almost as bad as joining in. If you see a bullying incident, find an adult to break it up. That doesn't make you a tattletale. Caring enough to look out for someone else takes guts, and it's the right thing to do.
Maddox is president and founder of Drug and Alcohol Presentations Inc. of Charleston.