text: After I turned 30, I began sharing more with my parents. I spent my college years and 20s hiding my experience as an Asian-American, but I saw how much distance that created.  Part of it stems from cultural differences between the Philippines and the US. Being gay in the Philippines is less hostile than in the US. Another aspect is growing up conditioned to defer to a certain race while trampling mine, as was the norm when my parents immigrated in the late 1960s.  Now, I share much more of my life as they have a white son-in-law. We've grown closer because of it.