text: You did experience the same thing as me. Might not be "same sex" stuff, but the shame and guilt Christianity places on the natural human desires to be loved and connected to others in terms of relationships and sex is very universal regardless of the gender of the person you desire those things with. I've been on both sides of the "straight" and "gay" guilt. Both suck pretty equally lol.  And thanks for the encouragement. Being more patient with myself is good advice. I wake up everyday and think "why am I not fixed yet" but like you said, it takes time.