The satirical poem The New School Prayer was penned by a schoolchild.
Thisbit of doggerel has variously been attributed to 'a child in Boston,' 'a 12-year-old girl in Boston,' and 'a teen in Baghdad, Arizona.' Additionally, some versions also lay claim to a date of origin: 'This was written by a teen in Bagdad, Arizona, in January of 2000, and posted on a public bulletin board.'The earliest example of the full text collected so far comes from June 1999, which immediately puts paid to the 'January 2000' claim associated with one version. But the piece is much older than that - witness the following verse harvested from a 1992 issue of The Washington Times and credited to 'an anonymous student':Now I sit me down in school, where praying is against the rule: For this great nation under God finds public mention of him odd. Any prayer a class recites now violates the Bill of Rights; All I ask is a minute of quiet, and if I feel like praying I'll try it; If not, O Lord, one plea I make: If knifed in school, my soul You'll take.In 1993 a greatly expanded version of the above verse appeared in the pages of The Detroit News, thanks to an article by former U.S. Treasury Secretary William E. Simon, who included it in a piece he authored for the National Review magazine. Once again an 'anonymous student' was credited for the prayer:Now I sit me down in school, Where praying is against the rule; For this great nation under God, Finds public mention of Him quite odd. Any prayer a class recites, Now violates the Bill of Rights; The law is specific, the law is precise; Praying aloud is no longer nice; Praying out loud in a public hall Upsets believers in nothing-at-all. In silence alone we can meditate, And if God should be reached, well, that's great. This rule, however, has one gimmick in it, You have to be finished in less than a minute. So all I ask is a minute of quiet, And if I feel like praying, then maybe I'll try it. If not, O Lord, this one plea I make: Should I be knifed in school, my soul You'll take.Yet even that example wasn't the beginning of this poem. A Xerox-lore version in circulation is inscribed '1/85 found in Jim's German book':Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule, For this great nation under God Finds public mention of him odd, Any prayer a class recites Now violates the bill of rights; Any time my head I bow Becomes a federal matter now. Teach us of stars, of pole and equator But make no mention of their creator; Tell us of exports in Denmark and Sweden But not a word of what Eve did in Eden The law is specific, the law is precise Praying out loud is no longer nice; Praying aloud in a public hall Upsets believers in nothing at all. In silence alone can we meditate And if God gets the credit.... great! This rule, however has a gimmick in it: You've got to be finished in less than a minute; So all that I ask is a minute of quiet If I feel like praying, then maybe I'll try it; If not, oh Lord, this plea I make, If I die in school, my soul you'll take.This version is simply signed 'Anonymous' - no claims are made that it was penned by an anonymous student.Anonymous student or adult with a pro-school prayer agenda, the poem, in all its incarnations, is a fine rip on 'Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep' (which itself exists in a myriad of versions):Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take Keep me safely through the night And wake me up with morning light'The New School Prayer' puts a different spin on the usual arguments in support of school prayer by asserting that the kids themselves - not just their parents - want organized prayer re-instituted within the public school system.By the way, there really is a Bagdad, Arizona. (Yes, that's its correct spelling - the fellow who named the place out of admiration for 'Arabian Nights' stories he'd read as a child forgot the silent 'h' that should have been in there.) Bagdad is a town with a population of approximately 1,800. It can be found ninety miles west of Phoenix, at the end of Arizona 96.Barbara 'letting the cat out of the bagdad' MikkelsonUpdate: In November 2004, a high school principal in Athens, Georgia, read 'The New School Prayer' over the school's intercom, then apologized a week later after receiving complaints from parents who said his actions violated the principle of separation of church and state.
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