A white teen girl claimed she was entitled to tribal benefits because she identifies as a Native American elder.
On 22 May 2016, the web site Polson Live published an article reporting that an 11-year-old white 'teen' filed federal lawsuits (defendants unspecified) because she identified as a Native American elder: A white, 11-year-old girl filed federal lawsuits Monday claiming she identifies as a 50-year-old Salish Indian chief and deserves all the entitlements and benefits of an esteemed tribal member. Bambie Buffy Remington, originally from Orange County, CA., said she started identifying as a middle-aged tribal chief after watching a rerun of the TV show F-Troop and felt great compassion for the Native Americans, known on the show as 'Indians' 'The Native Americans on the TV show were noble and outsmarted the military leaders who supported barbaric means of law enforcement,' said Bambie while wearing her eagle feather headdress. 'I felt a great personal tie even though we have no common blood relatives but had the same Moon Mother.' According to the article, two other individuals filed similar suits at the same time. One of the complainants was purportedly a young Korean woman who 'identified as' an elderly person eligible for Social Security benefits, the other a sex offender who identified as a young female teenager: Legal experts say that the BIA and federal governments might have their hands tied since the passing of the law that allows people of any gender to use a bathroom of the sex they identify with, thus creating a new federally protected group. 'We already have Identity Rights Groups and Political Action Committees to protect identity rights,' said a federal government official who asked to remain anonymous because he was afraid of reprisals from his own parents. 'We are sure, especially under a new Clinton administration, that Identiphiles, as they want to be called, will be our next protected group.'Bambie's lawyer, Gloria All-Red, is already preparing other lawsuits, she said. One will be for Kim Su, a 40-year-old Korean immigrant woman living in Seattle, who claims she identifies as a 65-year-old retired white woman which makes her eligible to collect Social Security benefits. A third case revolves around Iggy 'Insane' Ignokowichowianski, 51, of Portlandia, a multiple felon who will file several claims, All-Red said. The first claim is that he identifies as a horny 17-year-old boy which would soften the sentencing for his sexual assault charge against a horny 16-year-old girl. His second claim is that he started identifying as a woman, which would mean he would be transferred to a high-security woman's prison on the other side of the all-gay facility, All-Red said. While not explicitly marked 'satire,' this article is not real (and the names of the people involved, such as 'Iggy 'Insane' Ignokowichowianski' and 'Bambie Buffy Remington' make its intent clear. Further, the photograph was taken from a headdress retail web site, the 'Korean woman' was a stock photo, and the image of the purported sex offender plucked from a pool of viral mugshots. There was no truth to the claim that the white teen girl filed suit for tribal rights, nor that sex offenders and the relatively youthful claimed to 'identify' as victims and benefits-eligible elderly persons either.
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