Female lawmakers unveiled a bill prohibiting the disposal of 'unused semen.
Against the backdrop of a 24 January 2017 House vote involving abortion, the satrical web site Burrard Street Journal reported that female legislators had 'unveil[ed]' a bill pertaining to the proper disposal of 'unused semen': A group of leading female legislators have enacted a new bill that forbids American men from disposing of 'unused' sperm, requiring them to bring any recreational semen to a nearby fertility clinic. According to noted alternative facts specialist, Stephanie Yorke, sperm is intended for 'procreation only' and not to be 'wasted' on pleasure ... One 15 year old boy in Ohio, with severe pelvic and testicular congestion which if untreated could prove fatal, has begged doctors to allow him to ejaculate and dispose of his secretions without having to donate his sperm. His physician, Dr. Sheila Burton, has repeatedly explained to the boy that his unconceived child is more important than his own life, and he must either endure the pain or face giving away his unborn child. The mention of a purported 'Level Playing Field' bill governing ejaculatory fluid and 'alternative facts' were clearly a satirization of current legislation involving abortion. And indeed, the Burrard Street Journal's 'About' page identifies the nature of their content as such: The Burrard Street Journal is a sometimes funny Canadian satire, parody and comedy news website based in Vancouver, BC. All articles, videos and images are fictitious and occasionally intended to be humourous. For more information please see our disclaimer at the bottom of the page. The site's disclaimer reiterates the nature of their 'news': All burrardstreetjournal.com, FM News or FM Football News articles are satirical and entirely fabricated. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to sports personalities and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction. Please feel free to copy and paste this disclaimer into you facebook comment to 'prove this site's bullshit'. ... all news articles contained within burrardstrettjournal.com are works of fiction and constitute fake news. Any truth or actual facts contained in said stories or posts are purely incidental or coincidental and not intended to be, or be construed as, facts.
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