Her husband was killed during the siege of Kumher in 1754. In 1754, on request of support from Imad-ul-Mulk, the Mughal Emperor Ahmad Shah Bahadur's "Mir Bakhshi", Ahilya Bai's husband Khanderao Holkar, in the army of his father Malhar Rao Holkar, laid the siege of Kumher fort of Jat Maharaja Suraj Mal of Bharatpur State who had sided with the Mughal Emperor's rebellious wazir Safdar Jang. Khanderao was inspecting his troops on an open palanquin in the battle of Kumher when was hit and killed by a cannonball from the Jat army. After his death in 1754, his father Malhar Rao prevented his wife Ahilya Bai from committing sati. Malhar Rao Holkar died in 1766, 12 years after the death of his son Khanderao. Malhar Rao's grandson and Khanderao's only son Male Rao Holkar became the ruler of Indore in 1766, under the regentship of Ahilyabai, but he too died within few months on 5 April 1767. Ahilyabai became the ruler of Indore after the death of her son with Khanderao.