Act Two continues the action from the same point. Lady Rumpers removes Felicity, Muriel tells Wicksteed to leave the family home, Throbbing and Shorter argue about which of them is to marry Connie until she enters without her prominent false bust, at which Shorter renounces her. Muriel relents and allows Wicksteed to remain, provided he resumes his long-neglected conjugal duties. Shanks comes round from the tranquiliser administered by Shorter and denounces Muriel as a sex-maniac. Wicksteed tells her that it is now she who must leave the family home. Lady Rumpers arrives to remove Felicity, who has returned to find Dennis. It emerges that Felicity has just had sex with Dennis. She finds him repulsive, and has agreed to marry him only because she is already pregnant, wants an official father for her child, and has been led to believe that Dennis has a fatal illness that will soon leave her as a widow. Lady Rumpers is aghast and reveals that history is repeating itself: she was seduced when young and made a marriage of convenience to give Felicity a legal father. Shorter makes a casual comment that leads to the discovery that he was the seducer and is Felicity's father. Wicksteed, having the upper hand, forces Shorter to back down over his disciplinary threat. It emerges that Dennis's imagined fatal illness is real, and Felicity agrees to go ahead with the marriage. Throbbing and Connie also pair off, and Wicksteed is left alone to reflect on the transience of human life and the importance of seizing sexual opportunities whenever possible: "He whose lust lasts, lasts longest". The stage goes dark; a spotlight plays on Wicksteed, who "dances alone in the spotlight until he can dance no more."