Sara did not approve of many of the women that her son courted. When Franklin fell in love with his distant cousin, Eleanor Roosevelt, Sara was determined to change his mind. She tried to coerce him out of the engagement, but with no luck, she insisted that her son keep his arrangement a secret for over a year. Sara was heavily involved in the lives of Franklin and Eleanor's children. She often offered advice on how to raise them, and frequently undermined the couple's disciplinary skills by spoiling her grandchildren. Eleanor often relied on Sara's direction to make her feel more secure in her role of being a mother.