In the absurdist song, Boitano is cast as an action hero, with his 1988 Olympic Winter Games victory escalated into a series of increasingly ludicrous purported achievements to include fighting grizzly bears in the Alps with his "magical fire breath", time travel to the year 3010 to do battle with an evil robot king to save humanity (again), and construction of the Great Pyramids of Egypt while at the same time beating up 13th-century Mongol emperor Kublai Khan, because he "doesn't take shit from anybody".