Deciding to pray but not wanting to be duped by a "mental opiate," the unsure young woman whispered a prayer "with raised hands to God, to prove to her that He is and to give her peace; and, if He did she would give her whole life to Him - do anything He asked her to do, no matter what He asked - no matter where He asked her to go, for her whole life." Afterward, she decided to study the life of Jesus Christ in the Gospels. However, Kuhn was very much a secret Christian in the beginning, renouncing "worldly" pursuits a little at a time, but struggling to pray often.