Even though she had abandoned Christian teachings, she was still "considered a good girl, even a 'Christian'!," by some of her friends and acquaintances Yet after a crisis in which she discovered that the man to whom she was secretly engaged not only was unfaithful to her but also told her to expect the same treatment in their marriage, she was on the verge of taking her own life. Instead of drinking a bottle of poison from the bathroom medicine cabinet, however, Kuhn listened to the sound of her father's sleeping groans from his bedroom and remembered that he had been a "dear, kind father..." She went back to her bedroom and thought of a Latin quote from a Dante poem, which she believed was translated, "In His will is our peace." She considered that if God did exist, she certainly was not "in His will"; perhaps, she thought, that was why she had no peace.