After 1882 he lived a celibate life, but had deep friendships with many girls and women, amongst whom were three generations of the Carrall family. Many of his male staff felt he was a supportive friend as well as a demanding superior. He got to know all his promising young men while they were students learning Chinese under his eyes in Peking, for he insisted that the ability to speak and write Mandarin Chinese was essential for promotion to Commissioner in charge of a Chinese port.