The running gag was that Keyrock would speak in a slick and smoothly self-assured manner—but with obviously feigned naiveté—to a jury or an audience about how things in the modern world supposedly "confuse and frighten" him. He often emphasized the latter phrase with air-quotes or a showy gesture, which underscored his obvious disingenuousness. He would then list several things that confounded him about modern life or the natural world, such as: "When I see a solar eclipse, like the one I went to last year in Hawaii, I think 'Oh no! Is the moon eating the sun?' I don't know. Because I'm a caveman -- that's the way I think." This pronouncement would seem ironic, coming from someone who had, for example, just ended a brisk cell phone conversation, or indeed attended law school. Keyrock would always finish a disquisition, however, by asserting in a burst of righteousness that nevertheless, "There is one thing I DO know..." That one thing would be that his client was either innocent, or was entitled to several million dollars or more in both compensatory and punitive damages for an injury. The jury or counsel is invariably swayed by Keyrock's argument, except every time the Judge announces the verdict in his favor, Keyrock is distracted by some other event like watching a Knicks game on his portable TV ("I'm sorry, Your Honor, I was distracted by the tiny people in this magic box"), or by a cell phone call, and the verdict has to be repeated.