Bulger later complained that they had been "recruited by deception" and were told they were helping to find "a cure for schizophrenia." The facts were later confirmed as the documents of the CIA experiments emerged. He described his experience as "nightmarish" and said it took him "to the depths of insanity." Notebooks Bulger wrote described the terror he felt at the thought of ingesting an additional dose of LSD. He wrote that he heard voices, and feared that if he admitted this to anyone, he would be "committed for life".