Part of Lewis's second dilemma is that in social life, it is not civil to think about the person who addresses us in conversation instead of thinking about what he says. I would agree, since ad hominem arguments are often the typical response to the person whose position we cannot refute. “Well, you only say that because you’re a man (or a woman).” Or, “You’re one to talk about relationships; you can’t even get along with your next door neighbor.” Statements like that don’t address the issue, Lewis says; they obscure it. Or, as Jay Budziszewski says, “Sir, I understand the insult, but what is the argument?”