Stabler was born and raised in Bayside, Queens. His father, Joseph Stabler, was a policeman who lost his pension and eventually died of cancer. Stabler had a difficult relationship with his father, who physically and emotionally abused him. His mother, Bernadette (née McGinley) (Ellen Burstyn), has bipolar disorder and once nearly killed her son during a manic episode. As a result, Stabler has "erased his childhood"; he rarely talks about his father and maintains little contact with his mother. Stabler attended Bayside High School, where he played on the football team.