Goretti is the sexually voracious Protestant proprietress of the Mount Bernadette bed and breakfast. A mistress of the double entendre, she has lived alone since the mysterious disappearance of her husband, the magician Mossie The Magnificent. In her spare time she is the leader of the local power walking group. She is good friends with the only other Protestant in town, Theo Wigmore. In S01 E02 Goretti's husband, Mossie the magnificent returns telling Goretti of how he was performing a magic when he made real magic! After sometime at home with her, he gets annoyed and stomps to the bathroom, where he lifts his wand and disappears!