The television sketches concerned the 43rd World Stare-out Championship Finals. All of the events were commentated upon by John (voiced by real life commentator Barry Davies) and David Joyce (impressionist Phil Cornwell). Each episode followed a different match, the last one being the grand final between the Italian outsider Alessandro Kampagnola and the previous champion, the Polish Sigmund "Siggy" Spatsky, with Siggy emerging as the easy victor after just 7 minutes even though some matches are referred to as having been going on for several hours. The stories told by the commentators echoed those of real sporting events, such as performance-enhancing drugs, streakers, and a tale about the trophy based on the theft of the World Cup in 1966.