A particular aspect of Gordon's personality that stood out was his death wish as everyone who knew him was convinced that he wanted to die. When a Lebanese merchant visited Gordon in the evening, the "Ansar" began an artillery bombardment, leading the frightened merchant to suggest that perhaps Gordon ought to dim the lights to avoid drawing enemy fire down on the palace. The merchant recalled Gordon's response: "He called up the guard and gave the orders to shoot me if I moved" and ordered all of the lamps in the palace to be lit up as brightly as possible. Gordon defiantly told the merchant: "Go tell all the people of Khartoum that Gordon fears nothing, for God has created him without fear!"