On the other hand, Sacha Tarkovsky advises women to not use the missionary position when having sex for the first time, stating, "You are not in control, and it will be more painful and you cannot do anything but lay there and take it." Tarkovsky recommends positions such as woman on top that allow the woman to control the speed and pressure at which she loses her hymen. However, it may not be necessary to completely forgo missionary the first time; Alphonso Sirtle suggests starting with woman on top until the hymen is torn, and then possibly switching to missionary or whatever other position is preferred.