Fathers Ted and Dougal return to the parochial house from the Annual Baby of the Year Competition, as Ted comments on how many of the babies were "hairy". Mrs. Doyle becomes excited when she spots the milkman arriving, putting on a fancier dress and makeup. The milkman introduces himself as Pat Mustard, a boastful, moustachioed man to whom Mrs. Doyle has taken a liking. Ted connects the hairy babies to Pat, believing him to be fooling around with the housewives on Craggy Island during his rounds. Pat challenges Ted to prove it, and Ted and Dougal proceed to spy on Pat's rounds, collecting enough evidence to get Pat fired. Dougal expresses a wish to become a milkman, and is given the vacant position as Craggy Island needs to be rid of the milk overstocking problem after the island agreed to ease up the milk surplus from a newly liberated country in Eastern Europe by buying 70000 tons of its milk. On his rounds, Dougal is oblivious to the housewives having prepared themselves for Pat's arrival, including one that answers the door topless while another is fully naked.