We had a lot of meetings where they would say, 'Hey Mike, you're getting way too fucked up.' But we're all really good friends and we love each other and I think they actually thought I was going to die, but they never took steps to kick me out of the band, which I can't believe because I fucked up so many times. I was drunk and making an ass out of myself and they were concerned about it. ... I'd clean up for a little while then I'd fall off the wagon, like addicts do. ... When everything blew up, everybody kind of lost their minds. ... I was clean for about a month ... well, semi-clean; I can't bullshit about that ... but I fell off the wagon after the Kurt Cobain thing. That fucked with everybody really hard. I mean, how do you get to that point of depression where suicide's the only way out?