it 's stupid and it just makes me angry . `` some of it might have been for a purpose , but some ... i think i need breakfast or caffeine or something . i do n't know if i can go through with it . i shook myself out of the memory and walked into chuck 's hotel room , where i sat down at the desk . in their orchard , which was paradise , there were only two almost-lovers and no one and nothing else . where were you when we got here ? or perhaps it was something else . 