i slid it out of sight , and he did n't say a word of protest . but sometimes , the roots of your error go way back , and very deep . a month later i learned my mother chose to kill herself rather than stick around and love me . the machine under dan 's massive work area coughed and started and then hissed . she smiled just knowing he was near . it takes everything in me to keep from knocking him on his ass . and , there was never a real reason for it to come up . 