she occasionally smells cigar smoke , alcohol and hamburger and onions frying in burned butter . i dont even want to talk about it . it took only a moment to realize what was bothering her . we want to stay out of that as long as possible . maybe it was the hope of a cure he 'd dangled in front of me . after the third water break emma threw down her pack . i did this even though every bite made me feel sick . `` how will they aim to get away ? '' 