she smiled at him , a smile that did n't reach her eyes . my head jerked up and i scanned my room . guess that didnt go like you expected , huh ? 1 it was fourteen years of hell , all told , but she hardly knew it . `` when you 're ready to be honest , let me know . you would n't want to be rude , would you ? '' he looks at the big clock on the wall . `` i never could get into the hobby thing , either . '' 