in the cabin some things had been left behind : kerosene lamps and some books on a table , two chairs and a bed , almost as if someone had been expected . much later we dragged ourselves out of bed and went through the intimate acts of getting ready for sleep . he reached for his tie , loosened it then started on his shirt buttons . she tilted her head and ran her eyes over my body . night fell before he reached shelter . i am not myself now , she ca n't see me like this . 