she returned my hug lightly at first , and then with more pressure . i had to see you and touch you and ... it was an odd red light , but it was welcome . i was only an irritating puzzle to him that he had to find out the answers to . unable to sense and open , unable to let in . but i am being rude ; let me tell you a little about myself , make you feel more at home . you 're as white as a sheet . ' more likely , she feels guilty and paranoid . 