but i knew my sisters would n't be happy with that . i stepped closer , covering the flush of his cheeks with my hands to feel their heat , and pressed my lips firmly against his , until it almost hurt . why go through all of this if that 's not what i actually did ? '' living out here so far away from everything and everyone else , just about anything that breaks the daily routine gets to be fun . i did n't want to give away that i had an awesome hand . 