even if he did like me i would never do anything with him . '' after hesitating for an instant , she forced herself to buck up and do what she 'd crossed the room to accomplish . `` oh my hell , they 're not dead , are they ? '' `` i ca n't say i have n't th-th-thought about it . stupid ; might as well shake a lump of wax . what little i did feel felt good . `` that might have been the best yet ! '' 