i practice until the behavior comes easily.
after some practice i come back to the original situation and try out my new skills. if i remain relaxed in the same situation, then my soldiers are trained. if i remain somewhat tense, but can handle the situation, i continue practicing. if i get upset again, i repeat the whole process again looking for a new tools to use. sometimes i ask friends or a professional for suggestions on how to handle the situation.
amazingly almost all of us have seen cats practicing boundary skills. most cats have great boundary skills. you will never see two cats sleeping together where one is being boss. 