i follow him , wishing i had a full belly , but the market is not open sundays . `` in the rush of the birth and everything that happened , i never thought to ask , how do you feel about the name ? '' `` why do you think i know everything ? his c**k hung heavy and hard , perfectly straight and begging to fill me . i close my eyes for a moment and breathe , and when i do , i start to feel the deep pulse of the elephants heart in my body . 