he hoped troll was returning now . bob wished he felt the same . apparently big brother really was watching . 'here in this room we are at the heart of the bank , ' said the chief cashier proudly . when he did n't immediately deny it , i felt a squeeze of panic . `` i wo n't apologize for any of it . i wanted to stand up to him so desperately ; i wanted to shout at him to stay away from me , not to touch me or even look at me . 