i dont think thats something you ever get over . i tried not to smile too much and give myself away . he crossed his arms and stared down at the floor . no , of course , you dont know , do you ? his fingers curled under her chin , and he bent down to kiss her . had i been anything less than what i am now , my son , i knew , would be dead . a faint blue glow touched her eyes . he ate , drank , and slept work . 