`` but if- '' `` and if she had not come back to me '' -he interrupted firmly- '' if you had not come-if i had never known-or if i had known for sure that both of you were dead ... '' he turned his head to look at her , and i felt the shift of his body as he lifted his hand from my hair and reached out his other hand to touch her . as he spoke , her mouth fell open , snapped closed . do n't bother denying it , i 'm in your head . 