`` okay , that makes this a little easier . here 's what i want to ask you . one of them said , `` well , there you go . in a life that might last eighty years , he had taken thirty-seven and given back what ? whats he going to do with me ? you took too much and killed her ? '' `` excuse me , '' i said , trying to push my way past him . please turn the other way for a moment . 