`` every time , '' i continued in a softer voice . after a battle that had taken two of his best friends . the staff of your fathers age . `` the first thing we 're going to do is assemble a team . maybe i could borrow my dad 's car and go by myself ... and get lost and mugged and kidnapped . they went back and forth , each man leaning forward to make their point . anything you leave , i 'm throwing in the garbage . '' he did n't know if that was ominous or hopeful . 