me a warmed blanket and a pillow when i first arrived, and she had come back to check on me. i was still crying, shaking, and curled up in a ball. i asked if she could get my guard so i could go outside for a cigarette. she left for a moment and then came and said she would take me. outside, i kept saying i was sorry, over and over. the nurse asked me general questions about where i lived, where i worked, and got me to focus on any thing except the current situation. she said the doctor would be back to see me. i begged her to 