i looked right into the barrel as it moved slightly from side to side . he sliced it the other way with sweeping blows , then slammed his plate shoulder into it . the bench groaned under his weight . `` and how does josh feel about that ? '' he ruffled my hair before turning to go . we could stay at a five star hotel . but beneath the anger is hurt , so deep and raw that i ca n't look him in the eyes , because his pain echoes inside of me . 