he 's pacing in front of his desk , his eyes fixed on the ground . the hollow ache , the soul-deep pain-i do n't know how much longer i can suffer through it . but it was too complicated now by the kiss and the silence afterwards . i realize that i wo n't be here much longer , maybe five , ten minutes tops . just death for mother and child . ill take mine white with two sugars , love said . then she handed over the tray and left them . 