they were off to a friends apartment and then to an event of some sort . as she ate it and listened to jake breathe , she felt calm for the first time since the awful moment when lionel had found them on the trail . she did n't dare relax again ; if they both fell asleep , it could be disastrous . she did not think that it was a good sign that he was calm . i stared without really seeing , my head a blank slate for once . back down he went , licking and sucking . 