her words cut him deeper than sophia 's . his voice cracked , and tamara looked at him , afraid he was going to lose it again . i did n't have the kind of power he had and everybody knew it . he bent down and threw his arms around her . she could only hope that the logic of her letter , mixed with her threats , would keep him from doing anything foolish . and just like that my first relationship was over , and i went to bed , and i did n't sleep . 