he started drinking to calm himself , but it did n't work . the poor guy sounded relieved to get off the phone . `` i thought maybe ... if it was n't there , you could someday walk past it . '' `` we 're back to that because that 's what 's true . `` none of the poor bastards can run unless they all run , '' dick straw explained , laughing . his piercing blue eyes searched my face , looking for an answer . i asked , putting a hand to her forehead . 