`` i do n't think it was the accident that changed her . a second later , a horrified gasp filled her bedroom . just got to make it until noon , then i can have a real cigarette followed by some serious sleep , he thought as near exhaustion took its toll . i looked down at my hand , resting against my thigh rather than reaching for the water as she wanted to do so badly . `` she 's not gon na let it go , will . 