despite everything his heart skipped a beat . i was filled with the feel of it , the greatest high ever . no doubt because it had been the longest and there 'd been talk of marriage . very handsome he is , i mean for the girls , attractive i suppose . ill be here waiting all the time . i hoped hed die before the ambulance got here . she could fulfill the fantasy he had of making love to her in his bed . `` no , i 'd never joke about something like that . '' 