now he could pet one on the head while falling asleep at night . he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes . maybe theres a connection to his ownership and the threat on his life . within a few days , the drugs were back . i want to feel something new and forbidden . i 'm looking into my crystal ball right now and i can see the future . pica turned to stare out the side window towards the lodge . i shake my head and lift one shoulder . 