my face.
i close my eyes and create scenarios in my mind where none of this is real. she really made it home that night, and right now, i can run upstairs, as i so often did when i was afraid or overwhelmed, and i can crawl in bed with my security blanket baby, and she will scoot over and warm me up, with her love and extremely high body temperature. really, lord, she had been that for me from the time she was born.
these scenarios are such a waste of my time though. they leave my face covered in runaway mascara, my eye lids puffy and my nose runny.
you hear 