and a neutral person, and a difficult person. my experience is for many of you, you are your own most difficult person, and that it is helpful to begin with a loved one. so i offer this order different from the tradition.
traditionally loving-kindness meditation begins with the self. i find that in your culture it is very difficult for many people to offer loving wishes to themselves, and so we begin with one to whom it is easier to offer such thoughts and then come around to the self later. in the traditional practice, one also offers loving wishes to a neutral person before the difficult one. here i have 