i started to make my way across the dance floor , the band following close behind me . `` it wo n't be as easy to open as that door , but i think i can do it . '' nicolas blocked out all audience stares . ax leaned forward , watching my fork like he was a cat and i was holding his only toy . `` another escape from the doom and gloom of winter . '' which was sort of a surprise , because he did n't have one . 