to feel the blade slice into your body again and again ? she had to give some confidence to sarahs mother before she could ask for any help . `` you know how i said i lived in vegas until i was sixteen ? '' the damn rest of them to go . they spoke quietly and went to the long bar to order drinks . at night , she often collapsed in bed but found it impossible to sleep because she could n't stop the questions that rolled through her mind . `` he is very much not all right . 