even with the lights on , the kitchen was shadowed and dark . her words die on her lips as she stares up at me . opening the refrigerator , his mother took out eggs and cheese and set them on the kitchen counter . she was in her element and it was amazing to see . i decided i 'd spend more time on that later . `` so am i. i thought he might hate you ... or love you . '' her grandmother 's illness and then grief over her death had seemed to absorb the bulk of ally 's attention . 