and give the person permission to feel what they feel than it is to try to cheer them up with some positive statement about their dilemma.
a friend said, "first my son died and now i have cancer. i am angry at the whole world and at god. every time i see someone who is whole, or who has not lost a son, i get livid. everyone tells me i should not feel this way, or that i just can't let myself get angry. all that does is make me angrier. i guess i am going crazy." i simply asked her how someone who had lost a son and then developed 