all the air was vacuumed from my lungs and i let out a gasp of surprise . `` because in a moment , you 're going to feel something very strange . '' he had n't intended her accident to be quite so spectacular , but it was necessary to his plan . he 'd gone away to college and then joined the army . someone could shoot me down dead and still preserve their honest face . he just does n't know how to tell me . 