`` those creatures were n't something that could be called up at a moment 's notice . barney asked : `` so , are you going to play for us tonight ? `` no , it 's not , '' i whispered , and then softly added , `` the second time , i did n't . 'but no , she never got excited . collecting her courage and looking him straight in the eye , she answered , happier than i have been in months . 