unlike the other books on the shelf , it was dirty and torn , a mold stain eating one corner . i am still coping with matthews death and also the death of my mother and father . it was called mamma and poppa but that did n't sound like us , so i changed it . ca n't you see that this might give us some advantage ? we leave in tomorrow , with or without the boys . wash those cuts quickly and then get some sleep , he said . 