it was out of style and mary gave me holy hell , but i wore it anyway . he grinned as he looked at jared . `` it means i was n't a very good person not too long ago . `` maybe it 's better this way , '' she said . but he had it partly right . no one would know where i 'd gone . he was young enough to hope that he was in perfect control of his own life , and yet wise enough to know that his control was only partial . 