she could save only one man , but she could cause the death of many . jimmy could picture where hed left it . come on , were 10 points down . `` tell me the first thing that pops into your mind . my voice shook right along with my hand . and that itch spread slowly downward , sleepy but deep . he 'd said it like i was a dog or something equally as easy to discard . and i ca n't take you down with me . he busied himself with e-mails , keeping an eye on the clock . 