i should have been used to them by now . everything from hiking to horseback riding to yoga to golf . no matter what , chase was going to stay with me , even if he had to sneak in my window and sleep on the bedroom floor . but i lacked the fear that drives fish to flick their tails madly . id have to go back out again on another shift . some of the conversation is about their injuries , the hospital , how well they 're healing . and maybe he was right not to let it go . 