i record the amount of pressure he applies to my hand as we walk . his vision cleared , and he looked down into the maw before him , rain falling in curtains all around . `` actually , it does n't really even have to be alive- but that 's beside the point . `` this is for you , '' he said , lifting the fork to my mouth . could it ever be useful again ? which of course , we will attend to shortly . '' `` i ... you told me not to go anywhere . '' 