this was the first time she 'd started a conversation with me since i mentioned ghosts . `` i was so sick of carrying that big cello around , like some dead body in a coffin . i just found out i killed my brother ! '' are you men from the alarm company too ? he laughed softly , and i was reassured by that . quite a contrast to what he must have been used to . it sounded like it was going to cry . `` no , i was just out on the road working . 