she knees me in the gut , but my teeth continue to clamp onto the metal disc for dear life . unless they want it to , of course . '' i shook my head at him , sort of dumbfounded . my strides felt more sure and i needed the map less , as if i 'd settled into a shallow , invisible groove that had been carved by my own footballs , years earlier , and hundreds of times before . it sat on a tree-lined street in long beach , behind a wide , neatly tended lawn . 