of ringing their parents up anxiously the first time they took their child out of the house, so was i a bad mum for this?
i’d go on walks and look at railway lines and wonder what would happen if i jumped. i wanted to get in my car and go, by myself. in my mind i planned my escape route. i would take hardly anything; leave my baby in a safe place near a road or with family and just drive. i made up my own new world in my head where i could sleep and be happy again and not have to worry about a thing; go back to 