i start to feel my own throat tighten up at the sight of him crying , but i dont want to let him know . more paddling , i thought , and for the benefit of this little girl with her warm face and brown braids . `` that 's why i was so distressed when i could n't reach you . i was actually thinking maybe i would have to go live with my parents to make it work . we just ordered ten minutes ago . '' playing vampire hunter was not an option . 