she smiled when our eyes met . more and more he struggled , but no matter how much his impressive arms could exert , the wood didnt catch . he was afraid of his own voice . now i knew our trip would be experienced in the context of a possible war . our nation has been at war for one year and four months . he smiled , once the military mind got in gear there was no stopping it . i 'd stormed down the hallway and locked myself in lily 's room . 