still , i suspect you must want me to write something . i arrived back early at the apartment . `` how long have you been using ? '' he blinked rapidly , as if fighting to think . give us a big hug then , and do n't get sad again . ' how could you keep this from me ? '' as he drove home , he could n't get her tear-stained cheeks and wet eyes out of his head . i was dying to ask , but i could n't . 