but , i want you to know , that no matter what you choose , or what the lord god chooses , i am here beside you , and i always will be . fraser frowned over the single glass of sherry that was all he would accept in the way of drink . but i was interested in knowing the whereabouts of the loony man . as i drifted off , it occurred to me that tomorrow was probably going to be one of the worst days of my life . there are back stairs ; there are side stairs . 