then he goes and tells me he doesnt want me to . `` i do n't suppose there 's any chance you could find an old woman a cup of tea , could you ? '' she glanced at the stack on her desk , then grabbed a pile and handed them to me . `` oh , rand , '' she said , turning away . it was n't as if it had n't happened before . he should n't be here and he knew it . that i do n't like to talk a lot . 