`` i do n't know if i can do any of this , and then there 's also this chance i could be ... '' i trailed off before i said too much and totally let my guard down . i tilt my head and study him . jared sank further into his seat like a ground hog in a hole . i 'd pick a little quality catcher bell time over me , too . there was another flash of lightning . it is because of the ... '' he searched for the correct word . 