my father used to make certain books in our family library forbidden because it was the only way to get me to read them . anything , he said , and he sounded more serious than id expected . `` that wo n't make you this strong , '' i said . my heart was beating more rapidly with each passing moment . with each word , the hope i have been hanging on to is slowly dying . its not good for my disposition . `` can we have fast '' -she nipped his chin- '' then slow ? '' 