look for bugs. holidays and birthdays are still tricky because they can’t resist all the toys! but for the rest of the time it works pretty well. also, my mother in law stopped buying all the little toys she used to bring and put it all towards music lessons for our son which was the greatest ever! having this no-toy talk with them also helped our kids learn that grandparents are people we have fun with and learn from and not just people who show up with gifts. no more “what did you bring me?!” when they show up.
my in-laws are not into experience gifts no matter how we position 