sam never gave up on anything . i told him i wanted to have a picnic down by the dunes this weekend and he said yes ! my mother is at the kitchen sink washing dishes . but if i 'm going to fight for her , she needs to fight for herself too , whoever she is . she is right here , in front of me , my forehead pressed against hers as i grip her arms , as i struggle to calm my ragged breath . it should be to the death . he gave a stubborn shake of the head . 