they 'd met in first grade and been best friends all through school . `` this has been coming for so many years . its charcoal , i told him with a grin . each story revealed the other man 's generosity and love in a new light . my nails pierce his skin again as i veer toward the edge of losing it , desperate to hold on , knowing once i fall , it will be back to reality . even that stupid cat who had thrown up everywhere . you look a little down in the dumps . 