i lurch to a seated position on the side of the bed , my head in one hand and the phone in the other , trying to decide if i need to throw up or not . he was like now the joint is in someone elses hands , what are you gon na do now ? `` she was a fifty-six , and was on her first round of those crazy drugs . `` she had a different path to take , '' said a familiar voice behind her . well find more if we have to , like we did before . 