used to be one of those myself. in reality, there is so much that comes after the book deal. so, so much. the life of a writer is a continuously winding road (whether you are published or not) with endless dips and peaks–like you said, it’s being out on that branch permanently. and, i think when you can admit that it’s what you really want, when you can let go of the fear, it’s at least half the battle. 