but im back , and im okay . he paused , looking startled , but i ca n't . his eyes double-take before the smile drops from his mouth . he would let himself into the old building and plant the device . no organized group of any kind can survive without at least occasional face-to-face meetings . `` do n't wear that , '' a deep voice said from behind her . never know if anyone truly had been . if i was breaking off some lilacs it was for soothing my mothers heart . 