but in truth , he grew up afraid , a keeper of secrets , a child in permanent dread of shabby violence . well , you should be measured every so often , to see if youre still shrinking . they did n't just build houses or even large buildings . a hand was on his shoulder , shaking him gently . all it would take is a whisper in my mother 's ear , and my family could have left town . finished peeling off my clothes , his lips attached to my neck . 