now , standing around the grill in the evening dark watching the steaks begin to sizzle , frank , ash and holiday watched the night as each in their own way wondered what the shape of the world was now . i could n't bear to look at him , so i concentrated upon the artichokes which i 'd never seen before . the folds of flesh destroyed all expression . would he reach out to more people ? if there was one thing she was , it was independent . and the rest of them are just like him . '' 