knowing i wouldnt do anything to him and that my chances of seeing him were zero , i packed up for awhile . * as the night of the new year 's party came she felt this same fear well up inside her as she put on her best and cleanest boots , jumper and pants . the new name would take some getting used to . in response , the other man 's expression turned to one of pure business and a little fear . it is the strangest sensation , passing through my bones . 