i looked across the crowd , and there were more people filing down from upstairs , more listening , more singing along softly . i had hoped she would be able to get a little sleep . so she squared her shoulders and pushed ahead . this man was making her uncomfortable . it reminded me of what i was doing and who i was doing it with . i wish there was n't , but it would just be a lie . she felt the exact same way . i hope he does n't really believe i 'm doing this for my book . 