that i can paint whatever i want. within the limits of my talent and skills i can paint anything in any way i wish. but it's not that easy, to me. in my mind there seem to be all sorts of expectations and reasons crowding in around me, and the space is much smaller than you might think. like what you can see in the light of a midnight campfire.
i'm unable to get beyond my small bubble of murky light. i'm afraid to trip over things in the dark further away. i don't want to get stung or bitten. i don't want to fall. i'm worried i won't be able 