much all the time. and then, gradually, things happened. one bad thing after another, until finally, in your teens or twenties or forties or sixties, you just said to yourself, "i am not good enough. they are right. they have won. joy is a myth. happiness is a lie. the only thing real and solid and dependable is suffering. and i deserve to suffer."
and when you awaken from this terrible tragedy, you gradually see that you let this happen. you can blame all you want. and the blame is truth, but it won't let you be free unless you let the blame go.
and then you pick up the pieces of 