i tried to defend myself at first . rose gasped for breath , now fully aware that this man could not only command a murder , but also commit it . i was only seventeen at the time , but i decided right then and there i was going to do whatever it took to become a detective . and how exactly was he going to handle and manage it , all on his own without someones aid and assistance ? she let out the breath she 'd been holding for a long , long time . 