i need to push her to the back of my mind , really dig in my heels and live . i 'm suddenly afraid i missed a booster shot and they wo n't let you start school . '' i know he was hurt and angry , and tried for almost an hour to change your mind , but when you stood firm and said , `` i ca n't go back with you , i 'm so sorry , '' he knew that your decision had been made . `` but we thought we should get as many down as we could . 