he had several large maps on his lap and it looked like he was studying them . `` let 's go so we can get this over with . '' for a moment , i stopped laughing , stop smiling-hell , i stopped breathing . there 's no way in hell i 'm letting him rot in one of those stupid blue tanks . '' she did n't make an attempt to give him a hug or any kind of greeting - that worried him . i wanted to take a chance and be daring . 