pushed her from my body with dread, her father and i examined her for familiar parts and shapes and markings; we searched for something we could interpret. but we could not understand, this scene so unlike anything we’d ever imagined. there was no cooing, no holding—just a settling sense that we were powerless. when we nodded to her nurses, her still, red body was wheeled away to wherever it was in the hospital they would take her to do whatever it is they do to save the lives of babies like her. were there any other babies like her?
two days after her birth, i had yet to see her again, 