'then why do we feel like someone 's here ? as they landed , the black creature struck his head against a rock and was gone . when i was alone , i would cry for rat and lucas and stick , the family i 'd lost . `` she wanted very much to be more than what she was ? '' 'how many were there of you ? ' behind her closed eyelids she absorbed the taste and scent of him , the feel of him so close . she pushed the goggles aside , looked at the other papers on her desk . 