she was still selling herself , and though he might be her first lover , he certainly would n't be her last . we crawl around on all fours . `` i got an e-mail from a customer wanting to know why he has to enter in his password every time he wants to order something . i back into the kitchen , feeling like a giant has its fist around my chest , needing to get out , needing to breathe . i pressed a napkin to my lips to cover my chewing and to dab away any crumbs . 