-that if you 'd just returned her call , she 'd be alive today ? '' it was a good deal more than nothing . '' so much for thinking he was keeping her innocent . my mother had learned what my father had done . but i had no proof and even if i did , i was n't sure that i could do anything about it . and i truly did n't have anything to apologize for . `` so that 's how you do it , '' he muttered . tucked in with it was a box of brown lenses . 