he could n't stay here , could n't imagine spending even one night in his new bed without her curled up against him . he returned from the station in good time only to find a stranger at the door to his hat shop . `` that old lady was my gram . `` and then for a while after he called , i did n't know if this was real or i was fooling myself . and i have known this , '' he finished , `` all this time . '' 