for the next two hours i paced or crossed my legs as i waited for the streets to clear . everyone had his little ritual , those last few moments before take-off . i could see a little through the slats . although freshly dug , the mound of earth had already grown hard in the frosty air . not a damn thing , because i fell asleep while plotting on the observation deck . or take my mind off it . after resting , he had food prepared for her . 