now i am told that we have gone beyond all that , that there is a better way , and i am left with blood on my hands that can never be washed off . i 'm going to paint a holiday scene on the lobby windows . '' how can you say you do n't know ? he was at least as drunk as me . that was a terrible thing to do ! and here i thought we were just messing around ! '' in either event he would be rewarded . 