she looked at him over her fingers , her breathing rough and eyes wide . your spy woman left me , he said . i still dont like the idea , but she was making noises about having you move in with her . oh god , i had frozen , unable to do anything . only this one picked up my gun and sprayed green with bullets . i thought that i would n't have been half as depressed , despite everything , if i 'd been able to understand what had happened between me and lucas . 