he did n't tell me for months . id have to climb up higher on the bars and reach over . and the phoenix was rising again . `` i will be here every night , '' he whispers , his words so soft , so tortured , `` to keep you warm . dont make this into a big deal right now . he doesnt think so , but cant be sure . wow , it was all going to be over soon . the job has to go forward , right ? '' 