one entry # 1246 my fascination with her started in the lap lanes of my exclusive five star health club . i stared , thinking i must have misunderstood him . `` and now here 's your check , '' white said at last . his big body leaned in , pressing against her with comfort , as if he knew she needed it . sometimes the reasons are funny , other times sad . this is where peace lives , this is what peace looks like now . how did you i speak into his shoulder . 