`` please , do n't be angry with me . i want to be here with her . experience had taught him that it was better that way . why on earth or beyond would this man ever help them ? if he was losing his marbles , he was going out smiling . it 's the ones that hold the anger in , the men that think about what they do and how they do it , that scare me . he pointed emphatically himself-back in the direction of the farmhouse-and reached for my reins . 