he was n't going to enjoy it unless i screamed-and possibly not then . eric said something to me through the glass . so youve been holding out on me for three years ! `` it 's just what you should have done . '' at least when i was thinking surrounded by millions of people i did n't feel so alone . everyone knew that , but he had no other option , no other strategy to turn to . `` i do n't blame you for it , '' i said , changing the subject a little . 