now back to the story the very first thing i know about myself is i was abandoned shortly after my unknown mother gave birth to me . now was the right time for earth to swallow me up whole and make me disappear forever . one thing at a time , she told him . i took a deep breath and let it out slowly , turning myself over to the moment . the second the driver pulls onto the road i drift back to sleep , completely drained . of course , none of this has happened . 