but either way , i just know his story does n't have a happy ending . `` and i do n't know when i had come on top of him , or when i had found his throat with my hands . she had to realize how little sense that made . `` you do n't need to ask , '' i said . i have an urge to hug her , but , being an awkward hugger , i keep my arms to my side . would it somehow induce her to initiate last ditch ? 