it was a strange thing , having someone tend to me like that , but i knew it was his preference , and i was growing to love it , as i loved everything he did to me . i was starting to talk to myself . '' i was thinking of taking a break from them , anyway . but if i 'm being honest , there 's a bigger part of me that just does n't want james to win . he straightened his back and puffed out his chest proudly . 