i look at him straight , say nothing for a minute . he was so good with kids . `` he had a hard time keeping a job , and when he had a chance , he pushed me off his to do list . terry reached into his belt and threw a knife at it . i like to cook and then i can fix him fresh vegetables and meat-pretty much whatever i 'm having , only mushy . '' i needed to get real for just a second . the other boat came on hard . 