`` and you ' re so damned modern , are n't you ? '' but it was my heart that hurt . had that been luck ... or something else entirely ? here are the keys to my home . `` when did you first realize that was your life 's wish ? '' she admitted , if only to herself , that she wanted to be with him constantly . you cant have me , she said . best to rest now , put it out of her mind . right , i said , still not moving my hand . 