then you have those like my father . it 's a historic house , he said quietly . if he came out here to watch me , he didnt see much . i did n't think twice about following his orders as i ran to the refuge of the bathroom , but before i could shut the door he said , `` leave it open . '' i hold a single cheerio between my fingers while i bend my knees and bounce my hand as if i were dribbling a basketball . 