life. i had messed it up to the point that i had almost lost my marriage, i was in debt, and i had no hope for the future. it was in those darkest moments i realized that i really was in control of my fate – only it was definitely not in the way that i had imagined. i finally understood that in my attempt to control and thus change the course of my life, i was actually steering it in the exact direction i wanted to avoid. and i can now see that if i had continued, my life would have turned out just like i had come to 