bloody tears mark both the real me and the reflection . he glanced at my leg and rose , his face alarmed . i spent a lot of time last summer threatening to cut my own friends ' balls off . there was more than one way to win this fight . `` unlock the kitchen door , '' she told me . we walked to the back of the bar , down a hall and into a room . was ground tied to the sidewalk out of the line of fire . i had no words , but i had made my choice. 