but then , he was giving her bottom a light smack and saying , `` go find some clothes before i take you back to the bedroom and make us really late , '' and the easiest thing was just to tell herself that everything was okay . in fact , he was n't even looking at me . `` okay , '' i whispered , the sound barely making its way out of my throat . they broke into a local hardware store and carried out shovels , picks , and work gloves . 