i had thought to have a street urchin alert me when you returned and then had the heart-stopping thought that your brother would do the same . five rooms so far ... all nothing . even though all his life this beetle would always give anything he owned to the bee , whenever the bee asked him without exception , because he loved that bee so much . `` i did n't want our first time together to have so much baggage , with all the ghosts of my past swirling in the air . 