even as he got into the shower , though , he found he could n't stop thinking about her . she searched through dresser drawers and under tidily folded socks . the handful of grass burned off quickly , but he prepared another batch , then went to collect wood enough to build a real fire . father , if you have any regard for me at all , please let me stop this . she had cried when he called her last night . he does n't turn his eyes toward me again . 