the most important thing is focus and intent . `` he 's a ghost now , he is n't supposed to exist and until he does , people can never know he 's alive , do you get what i 'm saying ? '' occasionally she felt the love overflowed to her , but not really to her as a person , more to her as the mother of his child . she knew he wanted it , too . pulling back , i looked up into dad 's face with a calm i was n't sure i felt . 