when he buttoned them and pulled up the zipper he realized there were a little tight in the seat , but not too bad . do you want to go and see it ? `` yeah , but we had a good time , did n't we , dad ? `` even though there 's an agent missing ? '' he had n't been sure at first . `` there 's almost a whole day i do n't remember , '' i said . the idea of christmas was beautiful , and the pain and longing inside me brought more tears . 