i watched as the door closed behind him . i need you to know that i am trying . '' i did n't know what i was doing , but it seemed to be working . i wondered if she 'd seem different ; if she 'd shatter the expectations i 'd already formed in my mind by simply having a normal conversation . `` please , for the love of god , have clothes on when i get back . '' i mean , would n't i be afraid of a killer ? 