and since dad had spoken , and even van listened when dad spoke , ben stood where he was , arms crossed on his chest , waiting for his kids so he could take them to school . my heart was in my throat as i came around the table to look over his shoulder . they were such a deep black i could n't really see if he had toes or not . we both know you 're not going to sue me . 'the thought of it makes my blood run cold . ' 