start my own , independent life , which , of course , required money . she should n't react to the thought of having her butt smacked , should she ? i need to spend my time developing talent , not searching for it where it doesnt exist ! perhaps , after all , people were beginning to take him and his cause seriously again , on this side of the atlantic , if not the other . he helped me stroke him slowly , once , twice , as if to demonstrate . 