she is reading , talking , doing paint-by the-numbers kits ; she has asked for a dollhouse , which her friend the orderly has promised to try and get for her . so , i sat down at the table where i 'd made that first , desperate plan , all those months ago . `` if we are searching in the wrong direction , then we will be unable to find him . '' anything at all will do , '' he added , seeing the confusion on the man 's face . 