stuff or stuff that people will hate. but in a social setting it's still the same - i'm still desperate to be liked. when i do an event, i do anything to please the audience. it's horrifying - i can't control it. i'm so afraid of being disliked, and there i am, talking about myself for an hour.
but another thing that happened was that i separated myself between me and what's out there in the media - i don't read it, and i know it's a cartoon, a character, it's impossible to identify with it. but my face has been attached to that caricature - when i look in the 