then she washed her hands and came back to the baby . until she was certain the calls had really stopped , she was n't going to do anything stupid : no late evening walks alone , she 'd keep the doors locked , she 'd keep singer in the bedroom with her on those nights that mike was n't there . lea had an easier time climbing the tree because of her new trained body . on every level , this death was wrong . i look around slowly , just soaking up the moment . the water blue-gray under the clouds . 