i did n't want to tell him that it was probably because i had taken my wife against the wall and then again in the kitchen . i lean closer to him , so close i can smell his skin , and when i speak , i can see how the little hairs near his ear move with my breath . most of the rest of the womans life was spent living off of money from selling small bags with pinches of her fathers ashes in them . he was afraid he had blown it . 