she yells as she walks away . shed have to be able to trust me with business , keep things together , not lose control . she shook her head , then smiled . she carefully placed a jug of cream , a jug of hot water , and a bowl of sugar on the desk next to the cups and turned to leave . i was convinced i 'd die if he was in there with another girl . it shone like a beacon , bright amongst floor-cleaner and bleach , a plastic bucket . 