during the afternoon the coaches planned each practice for the week . `` every single one of us is hiding who we really are . '' 'you think i 'm some kind of a -- ing idiot ? ' we can not afford to kill it , but we can make it suffer beyond its wildest imagination ! he was addicted to being the dedicated doctor it was a calling that over-rode everything else in his life . i looked at the blood leaking from his busted elbow and the crooked angle it hung . 