i do n't know how to do this without falling for the guy . '' that was why he 'd been feeling disappointed . there was no room for wasted moments of happiness and comfort . he had tossed coins so they fell on their sides before , but he had never done anything like this . but if you want to pull double duty as conscience officer , that 's fine by me . '' i thought of him holding me in his arms as we crossed the true sea . it did n't really matter what we did . 