the music plays on , loud , and soon we 're dancing , lost in the sea of bodies , hot and sweating . i go back to my apartment and look through my notebooks for a while , but nothing surprises me , and anything that was decent , i have already committed to memory , so i put on the radio instead , but before i do , i checked my phone to see if i had received a return phone call from bens social worker , but i had not . 