he wanted to stop her , hold her , wipe her mind clean . i could have asked for their love , but i knew before the age of three that was never going to happen . each guest room had a small private bath and that door , too , was standing open . i pray for the day to come when atlas relieves me of my duties , the day i can live in peace with my family ... i did not make a pot of piping hot coffee , to enjoy with a cinnamon roll . 