not to be this.
you finally understand what all the fuss is about. having someone to lean into when you’re standing out on the train platform and it’s winter; having someone you don’t get bored of; being able to think of yourself as someone. you undress her for the first time and you are exactly where you want to be.
it happens in your bedroom after school. when she puts her hand under your shirt, you freeze. you are too much flesh, too pale, too awkward. she pulls your shirt over your head and kisses your stomach, your arms. she makes you brave. her arms are warm around you. she leaves before 