he would never accept any man in my life unless he chose him , which he did a long time ago . `` can we not do something to help ? '' now came the next life stage , finding a mate and settling down . tony and i finished our dinners and then laid down by the fire , using our backpacks as pillows . dreamer would murder over a hundred people without thinking twice or looking back . i was a survivor , i was a fighter , and i was hard . 