he moved forward rapidly , and grabbed the man hard , one hand covering his mouth , the other pressing the gun barrel into his spine . `` well , when you put it that way , it sounds pretty amazing . '' my lord , if i may add something for a brief moment ? hurt like hell every time , but felt good too . i wish i had the courage to tell you i 'm going with you no matter what , but i already feel sick just with the thought of it . '' 