then he made his way back to his stool and sat down . she was struggling to fight against the current , but it was too strong and she was not making any progress . the little boy squeezed his little hand around one of her fingers and smiled . he may have said he was spoiling me , but he did n't give me the explicit go ahead . `` no , no , '' i mumbled , tasting the bitter copper of my blood . i may not have the strength to bear them up . 