i grinned as moved onto his lap . if riding a horse was freedom , this was heaven on earth . he headed straight for the exit . i do n't want to trouble you , i say , coughing . i do n't like the cautious note in his voice , as if he 's somehow afraid that it 's not a rhetorical question . when you 're done , come back . '' now , there are only a few spots where they still remain . something in me just seemed to explode and i was in motion instantly . 