so i have to get used to feeling this way now . '' the blow-by-blow account was essentially complete . `` we 're going to need another shower if you keep that up . '' `` i did n't kill my baby , '' i finally said , needing to hear it out loud . `` it 's your funeral , '' he said.- '' now we 'd better get on with our dinner . it was more - had always been more , even before we 'd shared blood . it was a tune he 'd forgotten for years . 