if they thought i was the same beaten girl they 'd abused last year ... well . bob loosened his hold on peggy 's hand . in the past he 'd called me pretty , but never beautiful-never a gift . `` i can not even begin to understand his strategy , and i have exhausted myself trying . i tried calling her name out again , but no words formed . that meant the pair of us always had the money to get hammered . it may seem bloody and barbaric to some , but to us it is natural and elegant . 