but he stayed in place , seeing himself grab silvers by the collar and throw his head into the wall , demanding more money . i had to order my thoughts ; i had to ask the questions that needed to be answered . she backed up and followed him , then seconds later came out with a large t-shirt on . the light went on in my head . 'are you thinking of saying no to me ? ' i remembered his gaze , every hue of yellow , and i could n't be afraid . 