my knees more and has ben in prayer more than any other time of my life. and that is a good thing, maybe the reason for it all. i, too. do not know the answers, there are so many questions, and i don’t see the tears stopping any time soon; but i’m showing up each day. i’m doing my very best at work and at home. i’m loving my babies like crazy and praying that i am not the mother i want to me, but the mother that they need. i’m sorry you are also in this messy season and that you have been struggling so much. you took on 