after staring into empty space for a while , i concentrate on the camera again . `` i did this , '' he would say to me , `` and you should do it , too . `` but for your own sake , i hope you deserved it ! today , she was quite obviously hovering close to the edge . i 'm trying to listen to his heart . '' he typed it into his halo-pad . it was as if she 'd flipped a switch , and suddenly , i was in big-brother mode . 