`` your friends are n't dead , '' i tell him . i made out the words , but didnt understand what she was saying . i can hardly wait to get my hands on her . '' my decision had seemed so crystal clear five minutes ago . i walked to the house thinking that i 'd spent weeks freaking out about this , the idea of ben and me . because you ca n't tell anyone what it 's like . yes , it is.-those are my markings right there on the weapon . 