and the same way she could n't imagine sitting on ben 's itchy couch , feeling his slimy tongue on her neck , she also could n't see herself spending the next two years of high school-and then the next four years of college-in a pool for hours every day . from the fade , you wo n't be able to . '' i did the same , knowing that putting on clothes would be a waste of time . you know me , the one im holding says . 