hard to focus on writing, because i find myself either thinking about and trying to come to terms with it or trying to force it back down. right now i am dealing with a memory of something that is particular painful.
it is not so much about what this person did but what it meant to me by them doing it. that i realized how wrong i was about trusting this person. if i was wrong about trusting this person then could i trust myself in what i felt about other people in my life. which started me down the road of seeing everyone as bad. better to think that than 