however , something else clicked in my head . `` i told him if he 'd a wife to support , he must think of how to do it . she stepped in my way as i tried to escape . they rushed up to the hospital hoping there was some mistake , but there wasnt . she tried to put her hand over her neck , to stop the flow of blood . i got up to say a few words and almost cracked . she handed me the autograph book and walked inside . 