`` that 's quite all right , dear , '' he said . if you want them picked up , do it yourself . despite everything , that earned a genuine smile . he shakes his head from his usual position , seated on the floor with his back against the wall , it amazes me how context is lost over time . `` do n't know , do n't care , do n't want to talk about it . i did n't expect him to contact me , but i hoped he would . 