lily smiled at her best friend , even as nerves fluttered wildly in her belly . she asked , bending down to pour some coffee into a cup . he spoke toward the receiver , to me , to christopher , like he was letting it be known . i never understood it until then-that sometimes a spy does n't need a cover so much as she needs a shield . i hope like hell i do n't actually look that young . `` you have no idea what or who is waiting for you . '' 