i creep closer , close enough to hear voices , close enough to hear cries of pain . said he was its a bad word and im not posed to say bad words . lying in the dirt , unable to control himself ? and for just a moment , i really was n't that girl . she lifted her gaze from the microscope . `` no , '' he said shaking his head . it is one of the few things i actually like to do . '' `` tell me what that was all about ? '' 