there could be a paper in this , sal . i can be busy there , wear myself out riding horses , breaking them , taking care of them . do you think thats a good or bad thing ? we pushed through the gate , laughing , and frank stood back to let me go first up the narrow front steps . she and i were once very close . she was tired but she did n't need sleep . i stood and walked away trying to gather my thoughts and calm myself down . 