had she somehow caught his disease and was feeling the first symptoms , or was it something else ? why do n't you go home and let me get drunk in peace ? '' `` you know , you may have missed your calling . '' it feels like evil has swallowed all the light in the world-this night . his voice was gentle and pushed me much closer to tears . staring at the phone , i wondered if she was right . no one had ever helped her before . 'and are you any good at knowing how much ? ' 