but do n't think this is easy , or that i 'm not scared to death . '' what was it like for her to see nations rise and fall while she stayed forever the same ? i should have just grabbed it for him . had it something to do with his current investigation ? as if shea was saying her name . he 'd lost four only , but he 'd had to be aggressive , even using his fists to knock them to the ground . i knew it was wrong but i just could n't face anyone . 