ben did n't give a damn if his daughter lived or died . they talked little about the events of the morning . it was a long time before he spoke again . to lack feeling is to be dead , but to act on every feeling is to be a child . '' `` he told you to kill me , and you said no . i wander the streets of a war-torn city at night , waiting to be stabbed , for money . and i do n't want to alarm anybody . 