knowing what we were up to could only get her into more trouble than she was already in . his world accepted him for what he was . they need to work things out on their own . he rubbed his nose with his thumb and forefinger . but the emotions boiling inside of me needed something stronger . `` the idea of asking had me in knots . '' i could feel my fingers curl into fists , and i made them straighten out , made my face remain calm . 