`` no , i want to know too , '' she whispered . my life 's been complicated , and i ca n't ... '' the words trailed away and he stared into the distance . the priest lay motionless at the base of the stove , his face sizzling . i grilled him a carrot and put it between two buns . i was just going to put you in bed and crawl in next to you . '' i ca n't tell if he 's walking or trotting , only that we 're moving , and that all directions feel possible . 