the screams fade away , just like that , like a door closing , and i 'm in total darkness except for the soft glow of the white light and fog in the tubes . it was like having one 's reflexes chained . still not sleeping through the night yet , though . peter screwed up his face and poked out his tongue . no luck at all , '' i said , still staring at the photographs . i could n't tell if he was feeling relief or misery . `` not really , '' she said , looking out the window . 