i wanted to shout at him , then . the smoke rising around his head made his wild mane of gray hair appear even larger . `` how could ye think of doing such a thing , knowing that ? '' i feel the pain of his words deep in my soul . you cant do that to yourself every time something little goes wrong . he was certainly worth thanking and he also made very good coffee ! he buried himself so deep inside there was nothing left but him . `` but it sucks because i thought he really liked me . '' 