nobody spends new year 's eve alone . '' he knew that she would n't be . why did n't you say something before ? '' i mumbled another incoherent word of thanks and fled the room as quickly as i could . `` sometimes , when he talks about his sister and how much he misses her , i start to cry . `` i did n't have permission to leave the mother . if she 's watching me right now , i hope that 's what she 's thinking about too . 