more than that , it seemed so right to hold her . i know , she said seriously , shes obsessed with these stupid things . he pulls out a handkerchief and blows his nose . he bit down on his excitement before he spoke . `` the first time i saw you , at the governor , i had n't been to watch the birds at the border in years . but i cant let him get involved . `` you were going to say 'hard , ' were n't you ? '' he looked at the fireplace again . 