that 's why they call him duster . '' a life i wanted so desperately that it made me ache . it was as if he were holding himself back . not even if he was kind and decent and protective in the best possible way , she thought . `` we do n't release the cross , '' jacobs said . `` it 'd be a real shame to lose this job , not to mention a potential career in radio commercials . '' he did n't move again until blue came to demand attention . 