i want to run out the door and get as far away from all this as i can , but i ca n't leave everyone now . `` i remember my father telling me that our tattoos were why our people painted themselves for battle . now , though , the job was easier and so was hiding something like that . now the hair on the nape of her neck stood on end . then i think we ca n't afford to wait . '' `` i do n't know , but it 's what i did . '' 