i should probably eventually turn up for lessons . i look at myself head-on again . they were going to keep hurting me . '' she just hoped he did n't feel how her pulse was galloping . `` victor told me that and i called him a liar . with a tired sigh , i close my eyes . i grabbed a swivel chair from a nearby desk . `` up until a day or so ago , '' one of the men responded , `` he was bedding down in that little storm cellar over there . '' 