how could i possibly feel safe and nervous all at the same time ? `` hey , let me ask you something ; why do you call your mum 'mother ' , why not 'mum ' or 'mommy ' ? '' i slip my shoes back on as i climb into my car , grab a bottle of water from one of the bags and take a large gulp . then she slips her fingers between mine , and i stare at her , startled . 