i would have barely been able to sit still in my seat . the woman looked up ; her eyes were red from crying . i was gon na bend a coat hanger to scratch way down , but figured id end up a bloody mess . `` i know i 'm not a writer or anything , but i can try , right ? '' part of me knew i shouldnt , but a stronger part of me knew i damn well had to . this is a much larger event than i originally expected it to be . 