i tried to tell myself-then and now-that if she was very quick , if she buttoned up the house with herself inside , that she had enough food for ten days to two weeks . i think i owe her a little for blowing her off for a bad reason . '' i wanted her to remember how fun it was to be pissed at me all day every day . to not fear her was either stupid or very , very brave . `` you 're so f**king desperate for a cock , '' he said . 