you ca n't control it like that . it seemed too good to be true , and too awful if i had screwed this up . i could n't break down in front of him . of course the time element in this novel is all wrong . i tried to take kyle and hide , but he found us . `` have you got a mirror in that big bag of yours ? '' she 'd pulled her people away from there . would n't be in the office today and they just needed someone to fill the position . 