created by both individuals and not just by one. when one partner behave's in a particular way, there’s a reaction to this behavior by the other partner. it works both ways. in this way you can see how any problem you may be blaming on your partner may in fact have been added to by you.
a requirement to make some change: almost all couples counseling will require one or more partners to do some changes to their behavior. knowing that this will be required of you before you go in will make you more open to the idea of any changes the counselor puts to both of you.
slowing your expectations: 