he grabbed onto my arm , but i shook him off . you would not admit that , would you ? `` you opened this door , '' he snapped . `` that 's what they 're always about . '' it 's the vanilla one ... my favorite . will gave the dog a quick pat . do you think planning all of this has been easy for me ? if there ever was a morning i did n't want to get out of bed , this was it . 