i 'm not ashamed of it , but i 'm ashamed of the fact it could destroy stone . '' it had n't been difficult to find him . and i appreciated all the activity in preparation . i curled up into his bed and swallowed my disappointment that he had n't joined me until , finally , i fell asleep again . `` i figure we have two options with him . aye , it is , the boy pronounced . right then , i was playing as dirty as i knew how . i can not believe you were only nineteen . 