and it ca n't really be because of the way i look-hell , my breath probably smells like ass right now and i have n't had a shower today-if it was because of looks , unlike most girls who are ever into me , she turned me down already . at nineteen , she should be thinking of love and romance and her future , not war . you went above and beyond to make things right . i loved gin , but i 'd still hurt her , and i did n't know if i could ever forgive myself for that . 