a creepy , life-sized , cardboard clown grinned at me from a far corner . the lights shining on them were red . you mean about the part where you abandoned me when i needed you ? so you can see how closely related they are , and why either term can be used . `` is that how you do it ? '' as his words crash into me , so does the music from my mother 's room . truly a kind of modern magic , she thought . 