instantly , i felt a thud on my back and suddenly fell to the ground . it 's hard to describe the feeling - but of course , that 's what everyone wants to know , what it feels like to sense a dead person . he let himself be rocked into a doze . before the show , he gave all the kids bubble gum to chew , then just before the curtain went up , he collected everybodys wet gum into a big wad and stuck it in my hair . i bumped my shoulder into his arm , laughing . 