it was a stupid thing to think about at that time , but my mind was going in a million directions , and stopping bullets seemed at least a reasonable focus for the moment . telling people what happened to their dead relatives . he leaned on his messy stacks of papers . then he plunged deep , his hard thighs slapping against her butt . my heart beats faster now , for i am well aware of what happens to those who refuse him . he was looking around the van , avoiding her eyes . 