he cares about me and our child . he just wants to explore a little . '' pity for a woman who had never known love , a woman who would not let herself know it . i want to try something totally different . it was for an altogether different sort of package that he had . it felt special , like it was something that was just between the two of us , something only we shared together , and we could do it in front of everyone . and you did n't feel the need to warn me ? 