`` jay , i wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks . he had to do it , if for no one else , for himself . she lay there reliving the dream for a few moments , then swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up , glancing at her watch . she grins and takes another sip . as they looked for their dead , and the ones they believed should be there from the attackers , they could not find them . `` what in the name of god are you doing ? '' 