she lay naked , her skin flushed with wanting him . in a haystack and gray gave me the best present in the variety of presents he 'd been giving me . he was so beautiful that it hurt to look at him , but i could n't tear myself away . he stepped across the walkway and pushed into the pack of people . `` does this have to do with your past ? '' he tried to move them , to make a gun , to point . 'my bedroom window was open when i got up . 