you shared this with me and i 'm going to take it all in . after five years of working my ass off on the beat , i finally had my big break . `` the drug was n't in the coffee . i wanted to do it right and you will never know how sorry i am it ended up this way . if he 'd had his hand terminal , it would have been a few seconds ' work . for the first time in his life he understood what it meant when people said their blood ran cold . 