thou has never been with a male , they told me ? it 's like reading a novel with half the pages missing . i just think ... i just think ... '' i 'm fighting to find the words . his hands slid up my sides , catching my shirt and then he had it off me . and it made everything hurt that much worse . `` ham , you 're making it sound like it 's okay i got involved with a man i should n't . was he trying to center himself ? 