turning onto my back , i put my arm behind my head . that was all i had ever wanted , and i took a gulp of air . poppy was n't sure what madder was . apparently she was , because her fingers were already flying across her keyboard . `` if i had known- '' `` but you did n't . i asked , and that i asked him was a mark of what we meant to each other . the dark lords must enjoy watching us squirm . '' an acquaintance had fallen in love with a woman in his command . 