the bull shook his head again . i wondered if tightrope walkers and ballet dancers felt like this about their bodies before they got ready to perform . i ca n't contact her or see her . unfortunately , it was a colossal mistake , one that i could n't find my way out of without hurting you three even more than i already had . i really should have brought something to drink with me . there was a hutch on the far side of the room . did n't we go to high school together ? '' 