he tilted back his head and let the light sweep over him . `` i was changed fifty years ago , my lord . her channel tightened and begged for more . the black had never been treated in such a way , never had anything been able to mount an attack let alone succeed . stop everything for the moment he crosses the room and pulls me into his arms and pins me against the wall and i 'm spinning and standing and not even breathing but i 'm alive so alive so very very alive and he 's kissing me . 