he fixed his mouth around his straw again . i keep my noise as blank as i can but the world 's closing up in folds of light and shimmer so there 's no chance of that . its not something were used to . i stand there in the middle of the snow , holding his hand , terrified out of my mind . `` i 'm going to sew up this cut . nobody moved or said a word , and for a second cassie thought it could go on forever . 